What is self pleasuring
Exploring Self Pleasure - Teen Health Source
Sexual self pleasure resources often talk about one thing (masturbation) with a limited definition (touching your genitals in ways that give you sexual pleasure). This narrow understanding can limit all the different ways that people give themselves pleasure: masturbation can include more than touching genitals, and sexual self pleasure can include more than masturbation.
Pleasure is something that bodies can experience in different ways. Sometimes it’s eating a delicious meal, wearing comfortable clothes, or napping. Bodies can also experience pleasure sexually. Different physical pleasures do not replace each other. Eating your favourite food does not feel the same as wearing your favourite outfit. Sexual pleasure is its own unique feeling, and you have the right to experience and explore what that means for yourself.
There are more ways to experience sexual self pleasure than touching your genitals. Other sensations you might explore could include:
- Touching all parts of your body that give you pleasure (hair, butt, nipples, etc. ).
- Using sex toys or other objects to stimulate your body.
- Using massage oils or lube on yourself, wherever it feels good.
- Playing with different sensations across your body (heat/cold; pleasure/pain; things that feel tingly, soft, scratchy, etc.).
Your senses and imagination work together to create your personal erotic and sexual space. Beyond physical sensations, you can read, look at, or listen to things that you find sexy (like erotica, photos, porn, or music), or fantasize about situations that turn you on.Why self pleasure?
Because it feels good. That can be the whole point. Some other reasons why you might engage in self pleasure include:
- Relieving sexual or physical tension
- Relieving stress
- Passing the time
- Relieving menstrual*/abdominal cramps
- Stimulating blood circulation
- Learning about your body, and finding out what feels good for you
- Getting ready for sex with a partner
- Building a connection to your body
- Having an orgasm
- Avoiding risks of STIs or pregnancy
- Having a sexual experience to share with a partner
Everybody! People of all ages, genders, abilities, sexualities, ethnicities, cultures, religions, and relationship statuses have a right to experience pleasure and explore it through self pleasure.Exploring turn ons
Sexual arousal has mental, physical, and emotional parts to it. Some signs to notice that you might be getting aroused include:
- Feeling warm or your skin becoming flushed
- Your heart beating faster
- Heavier breathing
- Nipples becoming hard or erect
- Penises*, vulvas*, and clitorises* becoming erect/engorged
- Producing precum or vaginal* fluids
- Having sexy thoughts
- Feeling more connected to your body
For more info on how arousal can affect genitals, please see our Below the Belt fact sheets.
It can take a bit of time and experimenting to discover what works for you. Some common experiences include:
- Your turn ons and how your body responds to them can change based on a lot of factors like your energy levels, emotional state, time, comfort, stage of life, etc.
- What turns you on one time may not be satisfying when you try it again, or maybe it only works under certain conditions.
- You might notice yourself getting turned on by something first, and then that makes you want to engage in self pleasure.
- You might decide to try self pleasure first, and then it takes some effort to get yourself turned on.
- You may notice that a sensation feels nice, but isn’t sexy to you.
- Your body might not react to things that you imagine will be sexy.
- You might find that some things are fun to think about, but you have no interest doing them in real life.
While masturbation is a totally normal and natural thing to do, you may have conflicting feelings about it. Reasons for this could be:
- Stigma and shame: There is a lot of stigma about sexual self pleasure. This can make enjoying self pleasure feel like it’s shameful, wrong, or not normal. These are often ideas we pick up from school, family, or religion. Sometimes experiencing a traumatic event can cause feelings of shame as well. Contrary to these negative messages, pleasure is a normal part of life.
- Lack of familiarity with self pleasure: Not many people learn or think about sexual pleasure as part of sexual health. This can mean that some people don’t talk about pleasure in general or self pleasue specifically, don’t get to ask questions about it, or don’t learn to think about it as an important part of their sex life. Sometimes different aspects of your identity (e.g. gender) can impact your feelings of deserving to feel good. Wanting to experience pleasure, including self pleasure, is a normal thing.
- Feelings about porn: How you feel about the porn you use can inform your feelings about sexual pleasure, both positively and negatively. For more info on navigating feelings around porn, please see our Porn Literacy
Some ideas for working through negative feelings could include:
- Making pleasure a habit outside of sexual pleasure. Consistent, easily accessible pleasure (like eating dessert, basking in the sun, or getting a massage) can remind you that you deserve things that make you feel good. Building up this feeling with non-sexual stuff can help when you want to put more energy into your sexual self pleasure.
- Scheduling time for it. You can put time for self pleasure into your calendar, the same way you would for an important meeting or hanging out with friends. Dedicating time to explore self pleasure can help make it feel like a worthwhile activity.
- Doing research. Reading, watching, or listening to sex-positive things about pleasure/self pleasure can help reframe how you think about it in your own life.
- Being kind to yourself. Your relationship to self pleasure is ongoing. How it is today is not how it will always be. There may be days where understanding your pleasure is easy, and days where it’s more difficult.
There’s no specific amount of self pleasure that is too much. Everyone is different. You might never do it, or you might do it multiple times a day. If you find that the time you’re spending on self pleasure is getting in the way of other activities (like school work, spending time with family or friends, or other responsibilities), that might be a sign to think about how you prioritize it in your life.
Depending on how you engage in self pleasure, there may be a physical limit to what your body can handle. You may want to take a break if you notice that you’re experiencing unwanted pain or irritation. Touching your genitals frequently will not decrease nerve sensitivity long-term (although some people may find they experience tingling or numbness after a long or intense session). You may notice that imagining the same fantasies during self pleasure decreases their effectiveness at turning you on. If you start getting bored by your regular self pleasure activities or fantasies, that could be a sign to take a break or try something new.
If you have complicated feelings about self pleasure or are concerned about the ways you engage with it, talking about it with someone you trust may help. Sex-positive friends, partners, counsellors, sex therapists, or health care providers can be great resources for help, information, or support in dealing with embarrassment, stigma, shame, or other feelings that are coming up for you.
If you have questions about this topic, feel free to contact one of our peer educators. [Link]
*We know that these aren’t the words everyone uses for their bodies (eg. trans folks), and support you using the language that feels best for you.
Last Edited: May 2020
How To Get Comfortable With Touching Yourself : Life Kit : NPR
"The world touches us in so many ways," poet David Whyte reminds us in his book Consolations, "through the trials of love, through pain, through happiness, through our simple everyday movement through the world."
This sense of connection is what many of us have missed in the last year: a hug from a friend, a kiss from a lover, the casual brush past a stranger on a crowded street. And it is essential, a need deeply rooted in our biology. Jesse Kahn, a licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist based in New York City, explains touch releases oxytocin, reduces stress, and calms our nervous system. The absence of it, he says, can manifest as "depression or anxiety or a feeling of loneliness or stress."
That is why it is important to remember that we have a far greater capacity to bring the comfort of touch to ourselves than we might realize.
Celebrating our bodies, and the pleasure they can give us, can be the starting point for an extraordinary relationship with ourselves and the world.
Here's how to get started.
Get curious about happiness
"The relationship that we have with ourselves is primary, one that we're going to have for our entire lives. And it's also the most intimate," Kahn says. That is why it is important to consider the broad continuum of what brings us pleasure. Maybe it's a walk on the beach, or a long hot bath. Or maybe it includes connection that's more intimate.
adrienne maree brown, the author of Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good, spent three months of the pandemic alone. "I began to question what it actually meant to touch myself. Not touch myself in the erotic sense, though that was a component, but what [did] it actually mean to deliver touch to myself?"
What she learned was revelatory: that if she was willing to slow down and take time, she could give herself "a huge amount of the sacred touch" that she longed for.
Believe you are worthy of receiving that joy
What was fundamental to brown's self-connection was deep acceptance of her body, a shift that took time.
"As I looked at my stretch marks and cellulite, I thought, 'This is not what a body is supposed to look like.'" But then, she caught herself, and started to question where those ideas came from. What she found was a cacophony: capitalism, white supremacy, and patriarchy; ableism and fat phobia.
Once she identified these sources, she says, she was able to slowly disassociate from them. Now, when she looks in the mirror, she speaks to herself with love, and reminds herself that the thighs she once judged hold power: "These are the sacred legs that hold me up."
Start to explore the ways your body can give you pleasure
Your body, sexologist Megan Stubbs reminds us, "is the vessel that's carried us through life, and through a pandemic. And it is something that's also able to bring amazing pleasure."
If self-exploration is new, treat it like a new relationship with another person: be curious and give it time. "You don't just have to necessarily focus in on majorly erogenous zones," Stubbs says. "Touch your earlobe or notice the way your fingers caress your neck." And then, keep going. "You may find that that light touch is just enough. Or maybe you want to apply more pressure, a percussive tapping, a tweaking. It's fun to experience different sensations. "
"Masturbation can be the turning point for a lot of people when it comes to making peace with their bodies," Stubbs writes in her book, Playing Without a Partner. "Understanding that you are worthy of sexual pleasure is so powerful. You, in whatever body right now, can and deserve to experience pleasure."
Have fun and experiment with different kinds of touch — and maybe toys
Masturbation is normal and healthy—and sex toys are, too. In fact, people have been using them for centuries. If this is your first foray, Stubbs recommends reading reviews, and making a modest investment to start. "Don't break the bank on one toy. Get a couple of value-priced toys with different styles and see what you like," she says.
Her top suggestions?
1) Vibrators that come in a variety of sizes and settings. They can be used on many parts of the body and in different types of sexual activity both solo and with others.
2) Dildos — non-vibrated or non-powered toys — that offer "feelings of fullness and penetration. "
3) Anal toys that are inserted and, she cautions, must be used with lubrication and have a flared base.
4) Strokers that fit snugly over the penis and replicate the feeling of intercourse.
Ultimately your choice to use toys or not comes down to interest, Kahn says. "Do what works for you."
Pleasure is powerful. Harness that joy beyond the bedroom.
The joy you experience can be used as a guide, adrienne maree brown says, to engaging in the world. "Pursuing pleasure within your body is a way that our body trains us for how we are meant to move to those orgasmic experiences of life," she says.
How you touch yourself — with curiosity, care, and love — can inspire how you touch the world.
Simran Sethi is a journalist who reports on psychology, sustainability, and ways to make the world more delicious and just.
The podcast portion of this episode was produced by Andee Tagle.
We'd love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at [email protected].
For more Life Kit, subscribe to our newsletter.
Meaning, Definition, Suggestions . What is self-satisfaction
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Satisfaction with oneself, one's actions, activities. To the whole troupe - my warm comradely greetings! I wish you all success, self-satisfaction - up to the throat, and - not a bit of complacency. M. Gorky, Letter to A. A. Tikhomirov, March 1902.
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Source (printed version): Dictionary of the Russian language: In 4 volumes / RAS, Institute of Linguistics. research; Ed. A. P. Evgenieva. - 4th ed., erased. — M.: Rus. lang.; Polygraphic resources, 1999; nine0043 (electronic version): Fundamental Electronic Library
Sentences with the word "self-satisfaction"
My child's father is gone, perhaps forever, so self-satisfaction is not the most important thing for me now.
It's just self-satisfaction, after all.
Prisoners have two main reasons for raping a victim, one of which is to satisfy their overt sexual and need-based desires that self-gratification cannot satisfy.
The hints suggest that the young man is wasting his semen on self-gratification rather than using it for reproduction.
Once they get this intellectual self-satisfaction, persistent failures in teaching, research and evaluation become commonplace. nine0035
His occupation is neither doing nor not doing, his true occupation is self-satisfaction.
Father Mike says it's because I didn't pray enough as a child and was too busy self-pleasuring, if that makes any sense.
It was a way of summarizing subjectivity in order to open up new possibilities, and at the same time it was not some kind of self-satisfaction or or dissipation of oneself, it was a way
The time has come for each of us to reject thoughts of our petty personal problems, thoughts of wealth, comfort, self-satisfaction.
And who knew that God would give us such a skill in self-satisfaction!
This is a film about the physiological reflexes of a woman in the process of self-satisfaction.
We have slogans that everyone has the right to reach incredible heights in search of material self-satisfaction. nine0035
One session of self-pleasure.
What else did you use, sir, for the purposes of self-gratification?
It's just for self-pleasure...
From steel limbs and wires to mothers that aren't even native to high-tech self-pleasure devices.
Oh. That story my mom used to tell me to keep me from indulging myself in public. nine0035
This will be our 200th observation of self-pleasure...
They are just trying to make a name for themselves for no reason other than self-pleasure.
Internal reward is generated by oneself with the help of, for example, feelings of goodness and self-satisfaction.
The logical sequence of consumer actions is replaced by an irrational moment of self-satisfaction. nine0035
In the current state of inertia and self-satisfaction of society, it makes no sense to talk about the masses.
The perfect storm...of self-satisfaction.
In spite of their will, they filled him with joyful self-satisfaction.
We strive to make the English-Grammar.Biz explanatory dictionary, including the interpretation of the word "self-satisfaction", as correct and informative as possible. If you have suggestions or comments about the quality of the meaning of the word "self-satisfaction", please write to us in the "Feedback" section. nine0035
Why is self-satisfaction a harmful phenomenon?
Masturbation, masturbation or self-pleasure. At first glance, a harmless occupation. And what? There is no responsibility to anyone, a person can get an orgasm in this way at any time. There is also no threat of sexually transmitted diseases. Yes, and in the world such a phenomenon is presented, rather, as an alternative for non-family people in order to relieve stress ... But if you dig deeper in search of the root, it becomes obvious that this phenomenon is one of the forms of sexual addiction and is a spiritual problem. About this and how to get rid of addiction and will be discussed in this article. Based on the material of the seminar of the biblical teacher Oleg Remez. nine0236
“None of the people who suffer from this addiction have told me about this problem happily. I noticed that none of them wants to engage in self-gratification , and does not consider it as a way of life. Each of them is looking for a way out” (Bible teacher Oleg Remez).
To understand exactly where the problem lies, consider what a person is from a biblical point of view.
About "man" in the context of the Bible
When God created man, He turned to His Spirit (cf. Genesis 1:26,27). Man was, as it were, conceived in God Himself, His Spirit. Thus, man is a spirit that has a soul and lives in a body. Man is triune (see 1 Thess. 5:23). Where the soul is our will, mind and emotions. And all the knowledge that a person receives during his life accumulates in his mind. The body has needs for food, clothing, sex, and so on. And if, after the regeneration of a person through faith in the Savior and Lord Jesus Christ, his spirit is freed from any form of bondage , then the contents of the mind and body of a person remain unchanged. And according to the words of the Apostle Paul from Romans 12:2, they need to be renewed.
In the end, what do you get? As a spirit, man cannot sin (see 1 John 5:18). But having an insufficiently renewed mind, he will certainly face the influence of the past.
Why engage in self-satisfaction?
It's simple, the goal of self-satisfaction is getting an orgasm, which is accompanied by vivid and well-remembered psychological and physical experiences, relaxation or stress relief. The body and soul interact with each other. And in the human mind, self-satisfaction is fixed as a common experience of soul and body. nine0035
It should be noted that orgasm is a natural physical and emotional experience at the same time . It is invested by the Creator in our body. And, of course, orgasm itself is not a sin, something unclean. This is our natural need. But if the needs of the body develop into something that can adversely affect the emotional state, behavior, then they become lusts (uncontrolled desires). And when orgasm becomes a lust for a person, he becomes a slave to this experience and falls into a trap. nine0108
The Bible's attitude to self-satisfaction
The Bible interprets self-satisfaction as a lust that does not appear by itself, but "begets" (see James 1:15). Everyone knows what exactly can bring him back to the past. These are the so-called temptations. When it comes to temptations, the Bible is unequivocal: you need to make an effort and keep your mind from negative influences. Jesus literally said this in Mark 9:47, 480236". In other words, if you are looking at something that is tempting to you, then do your best and take your eyes off it. Indeed, according to the Bible, everything in the world only motivates lust (see 1 John 2:16). While " God's mercy is exalted over judgment ", God's position on sex addiction is radical: sin that brings a deadly shadow into a person's life (see Rom. 6:23). Therefore, the problem of self-satisfaction needs to be solved for a full human life. nine0035
Self-satisfaction is not a sentence
In order to get rid of sexual addiction, first of all, one should not consider self-satisfaction as a solution to a natural human need. But look at it like a noose that gets tighter each time.
Also, do not think that sexual or any other addiction goes away on its own, just because a person prays daily. Prayer will certainly help, but will not solve the problem, so some effort will have to be made. nine0035
Starting a family will not solve the problem of self-satisfaction either. It is better to win over this addiction before marriage.
Steps to freedom from sex addiction
Confess this sin to a priest (a spiritually mature person) in whom you have confidence.
Eliminate everything that feeds lust (any media sources) so that it loses its power.
Start fasting and in prayer, interacting with the Holy Spirit, purposefully pray in the spirit for the purification of the influence of this lust.
When the moment of fatigue comes, you need to continue to pray. It is this moment that can be a turning point for gaining freedom from addiction. This is akin to how a second wind opens up in sports. The main thing here is not to stop.
When you reach a turning point, pray in the spirit with the addition of emotions and God's promises that speak of God's help and His participation in your life.