What is more than love
Is There Anything Greater Than Love
May 6, 2013 | Relationships | 7 comments
Is there anything greater than love?
In a simple answer, yes there is. Gratitude. To have gratitude for someone means to have no judgment of them, or you. With gratitude, you can be grateful for someone whether or not they are being kind, happy, sad, angry or anything else they’re choosing. With love, there is always judgment. There are expectations of what you must be and do to show you love someone: ‘If you loved me, you would do this for me’, ‘If he loved me he would have bought me a single red rose, not a dozen!’ Love has a godzillion definitions! Do you love your family the same way you love your cat? Or your friends the same way you do your lovers? Even with unconditional love, you still have to judge whether or not it’s something you can be unconditional about!
So what if it wasn’t actually ‘love’ that we were looking to have with each other?
Gratitude is one of the five elements of creating true intimacy. The others are honoring, trust, allowance and vulnerability. The key to becoming intimate with your partner always begins with becoming intimate with yourself. To have a relationship that truly contributes to expanding your life, you must be willing to create these elements for yourself and with your partner.
In an intimate relationship, each individual honors himself or herself and is willing to do what is right for them. You honor the other person and treat them with regard. You are willing to allow your partner to do what is right for them without judgment and without requiring them to be anything other than who they are. This means that you also trust the other person to be exactly who they are, and not what you wish or want them to be.
Along with trust and honoring of yourself and your partner, you want to be in allowance of the other person and not judge their choices, thoughts or beliefs as right or wrong. Allowance is where everything is just an interesting point of view. You allow the other person to have their point of view and you don’t feel the need to criticize. Criticism is based on judgment – ‘I want you to do it my way’. In allowance you do not try to stop your partner from being different than you are. And you do not stop you from being different to them. You have a life and you let your partner have a life.
Vulnerability is also present in intimate relationships. A lot of people misidentify what being vulnerable really is. Vulnerability is when you are totally present with you and whoever is in front of you, with no barriers. An example of using barriers would be when your partner is angry . How often do people automatically put their barriers up, get their hackles up, or ‘harden up’ for a fight? If you are willing to recognize that is what you are doing, and say ‘You know what? I am not going to have my barriers up here, I am going to push them down and receive all of this without a point of view’, it is amazing how the person will run out of steam very quickly! That is because there is no wall for them to bang up against anymore. Being willing to be vulnerable is to not go to your defense systems or fend off real communication with upset, judgment or withdrawal.
The great thing about these elements of gratitude, honoring, trust, allowance and vulnerability is that you do not require to be in a relationship to have these for you. In fact, having a relationship is not the source of intimacy. You are. By you being willing to be the source of gratitude, honoring, trust, allowance and vulnerability with and for you, it is then you can bring into your life people who will contribute greatly to you, whether or not they are someone you choose to have sex with.
Speaking of sex, do you notice that it is not actually mentioned in the elements above? Sex, or more specifically copulation, is not a part of creating intimacy. You can include sex in intimacy but it is not what creates intimacy. Sex is something our bodies get to do as an exuberant expression of life and if we allow it to be, it can be fun and playful and totally without significance, much like a game of Frisbee. What if you were to do your whole life from the fun of it?
15 Words That Are Stronger Than ‘Love’ And Mean Far More
If you find yourself regularly telling someone how much you love them, you might feel as though the word is losing its meaning.
When you tell someone you love them, you want them to know how much you mean it, but if they keep hearing it, it might start to feel… forced, insincere, repetitive.
We’ve found some lovely alternatives to the word ‘love’ so that you can mix things up – whether it’s with a partner, friend, or family member.
These words still get the point across that you care deeply, but you can just say it in new ways so that the meaning feels genuine every time…
1. Devotion – I am devoted to you.
This goes beyond simply loving someone and shows that you are giving your all to this person.
It suggests a long-term feeling and shows that you’re invested in your relationship, whether it’s with a partner or family member – or even friend.
Showing how committed you are to the relationship shows a deep level of love and care for that person.
Letting someone know you’re devoted to them will help them feel safe and secure, and very valued in your life.
2. Dedication – I am dedicated to our friendship.
Saying that you are dedicated to someone shows that you are prioritizing them and making them an important aspect in your life.
It implies that you’re going to take this person into account when making decisions, and that you are accommodating them in your life and changing things to allow this commitment to them to continue to flourish.
All your eggs are in their metaphorical basket!
3. Faith – I have faith in you.
Telling someone that you have faith in them is such a beautiful, powerful way to go beyond saying you ‘love’ them.
It shows that you genuinely believe in what they’re doing and that you’re committing to their cause, whatever it is. You truly believe in what they are trying to achieve, and you’re both interested and invested in it.
For more spiritual or religious people, this also has a deeper meaning in that sense – again, you’re showing that you are committed to believing in them and dedicating aspects of your life to them and their beliefs and actions.
4. Commitment – I am committed to you.
If you’re looking for an alternative to ‘love,’ this is a word that can express your feelings for a romantic partner, friend, or family member.
It shows that you take them into account in your life, and that they really matter to you.
You’re letting them know that you consider them every day and in the actions you make – they help shape your decisions and you see them as a pillar in your life to build everything else around.
Being committed to someone also shows a level of security – you’re thinking long-term and you’re serious about how you feel.
5. Proud – I’m so proud of you.
Telling someone that they’ve made you proud is one of the best gifts you can give them.
It shows that you’re invested in what they’re doing and that you’re paying attention to what they’re achieving.
It’s also so beautiful to let someone know that you’re happy to see them succeed and want to celebrate this with them.
6. Cherish – I cherish my time with you.
This is stronger than the word ‘love’ in that it shows just how much you value spending time with them.
It lets them know that you really enjoy their company and look forward to seeing them. Telling someone you cherish them is a lovely way of letting them know how important they are to you.
It’s very sweet to hear someone say this to you, and will make your loved ones feel really important and considered in your life choices and future.
7. Respect – I respect your opinions.
Letting someone know that you respect them shows that you are genuinely taking an interest in what they’re saying and value how they think and feel.
It makes them feel seen and heard, and will give them the confidence to continue being honest with you.
This helps build stronger, deeper connections as there is space to make mistakes and grow, knowing that you are respecting each other.
It also shows a level of trust – you respect their decisions and you trust that they are making good ones!
8. Lust – I lust after you.
This is one for the romantic partners! Telling your partner that you feel lustful toward them will make them feel really wanted and sexy.
It’s a great way to boost their self-esteem and remind them that they’re a sexual being.
It can help forge strong connections between the two of you, and goes beyond just physical desire.
Try telling your partner why you lust after them – is it their outfit, their laugh, the twinkle in their eyes?
9. Adore – I adore you.
This word is a good alternative to ‘love’ and explicitly makes it clear that you’re obsessed (in a healthy way!) with this person.
It implies that you just think everything about them is amazing and you’re really in love with them, rather than just loving them.
Adoring someone is similar to being infatuated, but goes deeper than that. It’s almost a child-like rush of emotions that make you feel giddy and excited – and what better way to let someone know you love them than that?
10.Treasure – I treasure time with you.
Telling someone you treasure them or time spent with them is a beautiful thing to say.
It reminds them that you hold them very dear to you, and that you see huge value in them and their company.
This goes beyond loving someone and really reassures them how much they mean to you.
Treasure is obviously known to be incredibly important, of high value and very sought-after and rare. What’s better than being referred to in a similar way?
11. Intimacy – I love our emotional intimacy.
This is another one for a romantic partner, and can be used to express how close you feel to them.
Love can sometimes be seen to refer to infatuation or lust, but intimacy goes much deeper than that.
Intimacy is all about truly seeing each other and sharing beyond the surface level. Having emotional intimacy with someone shows a genuine connection.
12. Trust – I trust you with my heart.
Trust is so undervalued in relationships of all kinds.
A lot of us feel as though trust in a relationship is just about trusting your partner not to cheat on you. However, it goes way beyond that!
Being with someone, being vulnerable and honest about how you feel, is all about trust.
You don’t let your guard down for just anyone, so telling someone that you trust them means that you think there is a strong enough connection there that you can immerse yourself in them and let them be part of your world.
That might be a friend that you trust with a secret, a partner you trust with your heart and your vulnerability, or a family member you trust and confide in.
Either way, telling someone you trust them is a huge compliment and goes beyond simply loving them.
13. Ally – I am your ally in life.
It might sound a bit intense, but making an allegiance with someone is essentially telling them you love them and want to make a commitment to them.
It shows them that you are by their side and that you believe in them. Being someone’s ally is about standing up for them and supporting their views, beliefs, and actions.
Telling someone you’re their ally lets them know you’re on their side and you have their back – what better way to express an ongoing, unconditional love?
14. Value – I value your company.
Telling someone you value them or their company is another great alternative to the word love, and has a deep meaning.
It shows just how important they are to you, and how much you enjoy being around them.
Someone seeing value in you is such a beautiful, deep feeling and is definitely something we would recommend sharing with your loved ones.
15. Happy – You make me happy.
This is a personal favorite! Hearing someone tell you that you make them happy has to be the best feeling in the world.
Of course, we’re all about making yourself happy rather than relying on someone else to do that for you, but… it’s still such a beautiful sentiment!
Telling someone that they make you smile and laugh, that they make you feel giddy and excited, that they make you want to dance around grinning madly is the best thing you can tell someone!
I think this one goes beyond ‘I love you’ because it shows just how much of an impact they actually have on your feelings.
We probably all define ‘love’ slightly differently, and we’ve all experienced different kinds of love with different partners and friends.
Happiness, however, is a universal feeling of joy – and that’s the best gift you can give someone.
Telling someone they make you happy is a fantastic alternative to the word love, and goes even deeper by telling them how they make you feel in a way that goes beyond words…
So, 15 words that are stronger than love – there you have it. Number 15 is our favorite, what’s yours? Try them out, see what works for you, and don’t be scared to tell your loved ones how you feel…
You may also like:
- 9 Good Ways To Respond To “I Love You” – What To Say Back
- When Is The Right Time To Say “I Love You” In A Relationship?
- How To Write The Perfect Love Letter To Make Your Partner Cry
- How to tell someone you like them (and NOT ruin the friendship)
- 6 Key Differences Between Loving Someone And Being In Love
More than love, transmission, watch online, TV channel Culture, on We are watching // WatchingMore than love, transmission, watch online, TV channel Culture, on We are watching // Watching
We watch everything
The programs of the cycle are stories of great love embodied in letters and documents, poems and pictures, sounds and signs. Such novels became no less cultural events than the works of literature, music or painting themselves. nine0007
The heroes of the programs are outstanding personalities who have left a bright mark on history, science and culture, and who have shown with their own lives what heights a person can reach in his feelings. Of such a relationship, one can rightly say: it is "more than love."
Awards and nominations:
A film about Grigory Pomerants and Zinaida Mirkina received the highest national documentary award "Laurel Branch" in the Best Short Film of the Year nomination. nine0007
The film "Red Poppy" received a diploma of the winner in the nomination "Popular science, educational films and programs" at the VIII Russian Teleforum.
The film "Chukovskaya Lidia Korneevna. Dash" was nominated for the TEFI award in the nomination "Television documentary".
Legends of world cinema
Yuri Yakovlev.First discovery
- transmission/program nine0004
- cycle nine0003 TV channel "Culture"
- love stories
- Legendary "Culture" programs nine0004
You need more than love
The problem with idealizing love is that we develop unrealistic expectations about what love really is and what it can do for us. We see in it a lofty panacea for all life's problems. Our films and stories in books celebrate it as the ultimate goal of life, the ultimate deliverance from all painful struggles.
Love doesn't always equal compatibility.
Just because you've fallen in love with someone doesn't mean they're a good long-term partner for you. Love is an emotional process, compatibility is a logical process. And they don't necessarily overlap.
It is possible to fall in love with a person who does not treat you well, makes you feel and think of yourself as worse than you are, does not respect you as much as you respect him, or who has such an unsettled life that he can make you and yours has gone downhill. nine0135 You can fall in love with someone who has other ambitions or life goals that conflict with yours, or someone whose philosophical beliefs or worldview conflict with your sense of reality.
You can fall in love with someone who draws vitality and happiness out of you.
It's paradoxical, but true.
When I think about all the disastrous relationships I've seen with people who have written me letters, most of them ended up in this situation because of emotion. They felt that very notorious "spark", and they were blown away. I don't care that he was an alcoholic Christian and she was a drug addict, bisexual, necrophilic. It still seemed to be right. nine0135 And when, six months later, she threw his shit on the lawn, and he prayed to Jesus 12 times a day for her salvation, they looked back and wondered, “Where did it all go wrong?”
In fact, things went wrong before they even started.
When you meet and look for a partner, you should be guided not only by your heart, but also by your mind. Yes, you want to find someone who makes your heart flutter and butterflies in your stomach sing. But you also need to evaluate a person and how he treats people, what ambitions and worldview he has. Because if you fall in love with someone who isn't right for you. .. well, as the South Park ski instructor once said, you're going to have a bad time. nine0007
Love is not always worth the sacrifice.
One of the important characteristics of loving someone is your ability to think about that person and their needs more than about yourself. But the question that is rarely asked is: “What are you sacrificing for another and is it worth it?”
In a loving relationship, it's normal for both to sometimes sacrifice their desires, their needs, and their time for each other. I would say that this is an appropriate and healthy behavior and it is what makes a relationship truly cool. nine0135 But when it comes to sacrificing your own respect, self-esteem, physical condition, ambition, and life purpose just to be with someone, love becomes problematic. Love relationships are supposed to be an addition to our personality, not a threat or a substitute for it.
If we find ourselves in a situation where we tolerate disrespectful or offensive behavior, what we are essentially doing is letting our love consume us and nullify us. If we're not careful, we'll end up just a shell of the person we once were. nine0135
One of the relationship tips is "You and your partner should be best friends." Most people only take this advice positively: “I should spend as much time with my partner as I would with my best friend”, “I should be open with my partner like I would my best friend”, “I should have fun with my partner just as much as I would with my best friend.” how I have fun with my best friend.
But it’s worth looking at the situation from a negative angle: “Are you allowing your best friend to behave in the same negative way as your significant other behaves?” nine0135 Surprisingly, when we ask ourselves this question, in most unhealthy or addictive relationships, the answer is no.
I knew a woman who had just got married. She was madly in love with her husband. And she did not notice the fact that her husband was idle for a year without work, showed no interest in preparing the wedding and often left her to meet friends, and her family and friends were not very sure of him. Despite all this, she married him.
But when the emotional intensity of the wedding dried up, reality remained. A year after marriage, he still didn't work and scattered his socks around the house while she worked, he became angry if she didn't have time to cook dinner, and more and more often she complained that he called her "ugly" and "rude." And yes, he still left her to meet his friends. nine0135 And she got into this situation because she ignored the truth about love described above. She idealized love. Despite all the signals that he gave when they met, she believed that love meant compatibility. But she doesn't mean. When her family and friends expressed their concerns about the wedding, she believed that love would solve all problems. But this did not happen. And now, when everything has gone to shit, she turned to her friends for advice on how she can sacrifice herself even more to make things work out. nine0135 And, in truth, no way.
Why do we tolerate behavior in our romantic relationships that we would never allow friends to do?
Imagine your best friend moving in with you, littering your house, refusing to look for a job, demanding you cook dinner for him and getting angry and yelling at you when you complain. Such a friendship will end faster than the career of actress Paris Hilton.
The only way to fully enjoy love is to find something more important in life than love. nine0135 You can love many different people throughout your life. You can love those who are good for you and those who are bad for you. You can find yourself in simple love relationships and complex ones. You can love when you are young and when you are old. Love is not unique. Love is not rare. Love is not a scarce commodity.
As opposed to your self-respect. Your self-esteem. Your ability to trust. You may find yourself in love more than once in your life, but once you lose self-respect, self-esteem or the ability to trust, it will be very difficult to return them. nine0135 Love is a wonderful experience. This is one of the most impressive experiences that life has to offer us. And this is something that everyone should experience and enjoy.
But, like any experience, it can be healthy or unhealthy. Like any other experience, it should not define you, your identity and life purpose.