Funny quotes from psych
The 12 Best Quotes from Psych
Bringing together the cruel world of crime with the awesomeness of psychic abilities (well, sort of), USA’s Psych is one of the most underrated comedy-dramas of the 2000s, and it’s also one of the most quotable. With oodles of quotes from psychic detective Shawn Spencer (James Roday) and his admirable partner Burton “Gus” Guster (Dulé Hill), the show is the perfect mesh of humor and on-the-edge-of-your-seat crime-solving. On the air from 2006 to 2014, Psych gave us eight seasons of laughs. After a cast reunion in 2017’s Psych: The Movie, the show’s James Roday and Dulé Hill have also reprised their roles for Psych 2: Lassie Come Home on NBCUniversal’s new streaming service Peacock.
But for now, let’s bask in the show that was with some of the best quotes from its eight seasons.
1. Sick burn, bro
“Well, the plot, unlike your hair, continues to thicken. ” —Shawn Spencer, Season 6, “Santabarbaratown”
Shawn is always known for his quick one-liners, and in this case it seems he dropped a sick burn. Ouch.
2. Always look on the bright side of life
“I don’t lose things. I place things in locations which later elude me.” —Shawn Spencer, Season 4, “ Shawn Gets The Yips”
Has anyone ever shamed you for repeatedly losing things? Well, shoot them this reply and problem solved.
3. Some quality advice
“Take pictures. Not of sights. Don’t take pictures of buildings. Take pictures of moments, because that’s what matters.” —Shawn Spencer, Season 5, “One, Maybe Two, Ways Out”
For a show that’s usually filled with laughs, this is a solid piece of advice from Shawn.
Take this advice and take some pictures of moments.
4. It’s time to face the real world, apparently
“Guster, you have to wake up to the real world. People have sex and kill each other. That’s the real world. Not some magical ‘feelings’ place.” —Carlton Lassiter, Season 5, “Feet Don’t Kill Me Now”
Some people think the world is filled with rainbows and unicorns, some people think it’s filled with … sex and murder. To each their own, we guess.
5. Does this bother you?
“What isn’t clear is why people always say ‘goes without saying,’ yet still feel compelled to say the thing that was supposed to go without saying. Doesn’t that bother you?” —Shawn Spencer, Season 3, “Disco Didn’t Die. It was Murdered!”
Well, it goes without saying that this is an amazing quote.
6. Is this the best way?
“Man, I’m nobody’s charity case. I demand I dig my own grave!” —Burton ‘Gus’ Guster, Season 7, “No Country for Two Old Men”
Well … technically … you could dig your own grave in advance, but this is also a morbid way of showing some self-empowerment.
7. This is quite philosophical
“Just because you put syrup on something doesn’t make it a pancake.” —Shawn Spencer, Season 6, “True Grits”
Okay, syrup may not make everything a pancake, but it’ll probably make it sweeter (and stickier).
8. Sometimes you just have to tell people off
“How about you play six degrees of kiss my ass?”—Burton ‘Gus’ Guster, Season 2, “65 Million Years Off”
We’ve all heard of the six degrees of Kevin Bacon, but have you heard of this phenomenon?
9.
Know your self-worth, queen
“I’m nobody’s pawn, Shawn. I’m a Queen.” —Burton ‘Gus’ Guster, Season 3, “There Might Be Blood”
If anybody ever tries to take advantage of you, just throw this Psych quote at them. We’re all a “queen” in our own way.
10. This is talented detective work
“How can you tell that someone’s a compulsive liar? I mean, assuming that their pants aren’t on fire.” —Shawn Spencer, Season 3, “Truer Lies”
“Liar, liar, pants on fire” is 100% going to be the FBI’s newest tactic to break criminals during interrogation.
11. We can’t help what card we draw in life, can we?
“I can’t help being a gorgeous friend. It’s just the card I drew.
” —Shawn Spencer, Season 6, “This Episode Sucks”
It’s okay to be prideful of your looks. If anyone decides to rain on your “gorgeous” parade, just throw this line at them.
12. This quote really shows this show’s age, doesn’t it?
“Gus wants to know if your boat has cable. It’s the season finale of ‘Leverage’ and his TiVo’s on the fritz.” —Shawn Spencer, Season 4, “The Head, The Tail, The Whole Damn Episode”
Ah, 2010. Life was so much easier then. First of all, do kids nowadays even know what Leverage is? And secondly, do they know what TiVo is?
Molly Schramm is an intern at Paste. You can follow her on Twitter.
For all the latest TV news, reviews, lists and features, follow @Paste_TV.
The 40 Best Quotes From 'Psych', Ranked By Fans
Very Funny TV ShowsLists of comedy shows in all their iterations, from classic sitcoms to avant-garde dark comedies.
What are the best Psych quotes of all time? If you watched the USA Network in the mid-2000s, then chances are you're well-acquainted with the show about a crime consultant who uses his impressive eidetic memory to help the Santa Barbara Police Department solve crimes.
The show lasted for eight seasons, and during that run, it spawned plenty of memorable, funny, and entertaining lines. The show may have been a detective drama, but it wasn't afraid of having a little fun now and then. From hilarious to inspirational, these are the greatest quotes from Psych, and with 120 episodes to choose from, you can be certain these are the best of the best.
So let's get to voting for awesome and funny Psych quotes. Which ones do you remember fondly from watching the show every Friday night? Shawn Spencer could probably see the winner on this list from a mile away.
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USA Network
1
324
VOTES
Suck It
Burton "Gus" Guster: Suck it!
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USA Network
2
268
VOTES
Don't Make It Pancakes
Shawn Spencer: Just because you put syrup on something don't make it pancakes.
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USA Network
3
350
VOTES
I Don't Lose Things
Shawn Spencer: I don’t lose things. I place things in locations which later elude me.
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USA Network
4
214
VOTES
I'm Nobody's Charity Case
Burton "Gus" Guster: Man, I'm nobody's charity case. I demand to dig my own grave!
Jokes about psychologists: anecdotes and amusing aphorisms
Human life is stormy and unpredictable.
And when it becomes difficult for a person to cope with the burden of his problems, wise and experienced psychologists come to the rescue. Whose professional holiday - All-Ukrainian day of the psychologist - we celebrate today, April 23.
Anecdotes and jokes about psychologists are almost always humor from life. Funny situations and awkward moments, life tips - we have collected the most interesting jokes about psychologists. nine0005
***
The psychologist had four children. He baptized two, and left two as a control group.
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Most of those who managed to escape from themselves were caught by the orderlies.
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A new book in the Relationship Psychology series by Dale Carnegie: How to Get Rid of the Friends Made with My Previous Book.
► Cool sayings and statuses about students, study and university
***
A patient comes to a psychologist.
- Doctor, everything is so bad, so sickening, I don't want to live ... - Well, you, my friend, now we will try to correct the situation. Sit comfortably, relax, close your eyes, listen to me carefully and repeat: “I'm fine. I am the happiest person. I feel great. Nothing hurts me.” The patient opens his eyes and says: “I'm happy for you, Doctor…
***
Doctor, I feel like a complete failure. nine0013 - What are you, if you can afford to pay for my services, you are quite a successful person!
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Psychoanalyst: – Do you smoke? Patient: - No. – Are you drinking? - No. Psychoanalyst: - And don't grin like that, I'll find something anyway!
► 10 apt quotes and aphorisms about happiness
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My psychologist said that I could not take over the world. Naive slave!
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Psychologist's patient: – Doctor, I think I have delusions of grandeur… Doctor, raising his eyebrows menacingly: – You miserable stinker! What do you know about delusions of grandeur! nine0005
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Am I dead?
- Yes.
What worries you? - And where am I? - In hell.
- But why is it so quiet and calm here? It's like I'm in a therapy room.
- We have new methods, they have shown high efficiency.
***
A client comes to a psychologist and says:
— Doctor, you know, I have no friends at all…
Can you help me with something, fat, bald old man?
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Baby! Why are you so killed? nine0013 You will never die like that!"
► World Quality Day: 10 witty quotes and aphorisms on the topic of the day
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18-year-old Katya, who has been fond of psychology since the fifth grade, dreamed not of a prince
And finally, remember:
All stories have a happy ending, so if you feel bad, then this is not the end . nine0013 So, this is just the beginning...
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Psychology - quotes and aphorisms on the site Quote-Citation.Com
When it comes to an individual, he usually takes the side of the humiliated and offended, but the psychology of the crowd is different from the psychology of an individual person.
The crowd seeks to tear the weak apart and swallow the wounded. nine0005
Erle Stanley Gardner, "Perry Mason"
Psychoanalysis is a great thing. After it, you do not begin to understand yourself better, but you already know why.
Werner Mich
What we call "normal" in psychology is actually a psychopathology of dullness.
Abraham Maslow
Today's generation is the generation of loose seals. Faced with a problem, they say: let's analyze the bully's behavior from the point of view of psychology. And we just kicked the hooligans' ass. nine0005
Clint Eastwood
People with a slave mentality consider their shackles a guarantee of stability.
Mikhail Veller
Unhappy people involuntarily become specialists in psychology.
Yukio Mishima, "Golden Temple"
It would be nice, figuratively speaking, to put society on the couch of a psychoanalyst.
Clarissa Pinkola Estes, "Running with the Wolves"
Psychology is a degrading materialization of the soul.
Mikhail Mikhailovich Bakhtin
A psychologist can explain anything, but can't prove anything.
Isaac Asimov, "A trap for simpletons"
— Is the psychology of robots so different from human?
- Huge difference. First of all, robots are deeply decent.
Isaac Asimov, "Evidence"
Human psychology is such that if we do not express our joy, we will soon stop feeling it.
Lin Yutang
Say what you like, but private property affects the human psychology. nine0005
"Three plus two"
Chess is not only a game of pieces, but also of people - psychology matters.
Mikhail Botvinnik
You have to be a subtle psychologist to become an outstanding swindler.
Eric-Emmanuel Schmitt, "Ulysses from Baghdad"
Freedom of speech is freedom of speech, and if a person wants, he can talk as much as he likes about the psychology of the amoeba, but no one is obliged to listen to it.
Robert Heinlein, "The Puppeteers"
For happiness, it is more important how often we experience a pleasant feeling, or, as psychologists say, "positive affect", and not how strong this feeling is.
