What does it feel like to be a sociopath

Signs of a Sociopath: What to Look For

Written by WebMD Editorial Contributors

What is a Sociopath?

People often confuse the terms sociopath and psychopath and use them interchangeably. They aren’t different in the clinical sense. Both terms refer to people who have antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). Those with ASPD have no regard for others’ rights or feelings, lack empathy and remorse for wrongdoings, and have the need to exploit and manipulate others for personal gain.

Nature and nurture play a role in ASPD. The reasons behind the disorder are not fully understood. The current belief is that psychopathy generally comes from genetic factors, such as parts of the brain not developing fully, while sociopathy results from an interruption in personality development by abuse or trauma in childhood. People often think that those with antisocial personality disorders are always criminals and are easy to spot, but many are unaware of the disorder and may never be diagnosed.

Sociopaths have less consistent behavior than psychopaths. Psychopaths are more controlled and charming. Their manipulation is more detached, and they plan ahead. Sociopaths experience anxiety and find rage far harder to control. They may act without thought and, as a result, they may have a harder time blending in. Inconsistencies between their words and their lives may be easier to see.

Signs of a Sociopath

It is important to realize that people have many personality traits. Someone may exhibit selfishness or act aggressively, but that doesn't mean they are a sociopath. Since many people who have ASPD don't recognize these traits as a problem, watching for consistent behavior patterns might be necessary.

Consistent behavior patterns in sociopaths include:

Lack of empathy for others
Impulsive behavior
Attempting to control others with threats or aggression
Using intelligence, charm, or charisma to manipulate others
Not learning from mistakes or punishment
Lying for personal gain
Showing a tendency to physical violence and fights
Generally superficial relationships
Sometimes, stealing or committing other crimes
Threatening suicide to manipulate without intention to act
Sometimes, abusing drugs or alcohol
Trouble with responsibilities such as a job, paying bills, etc.

Dealing With a Sociopath

Someone with sociopathy is unlikely to seek professional help or even realize they have ASPD. As a result, an important part of dealing and living with someone with ASPD is to know the process of getting them a diagnosis.

Who Needs a Diagnosis?

Children are usually not diagnosed with antisocial personality disorders because childhood development stages mimic some of these behaviors, and their personalities are continuously changing. If early warning signs are noticed in childhood, a conduct disorder may be diagnosed, and intervention may help.

If a teenager exhibits uncontrolled symptoms, such as stealing, harming animals, constantly lying, destroying property for no reason, and breaking rules without thinking of consequences, they may be diagnosable.

People who have a family history of personality disorders or those who have experienced abuse or neglect as children are more likely to develop sociopathy. Men are more likely than women to have sociopathy.

Sociopaths are more likely to abuse their partners, spouses, and children. Since they may engage in criminal behavior, they are also more likely to spend time in prison, and their aggressive behavior can put them at risk of harm. They may have other mental health disorders, like depression and anxiety.

Steps to a Diagnosis

If there is a behavior pattern to suggest sociopathy, a doctor would begin with an assessment of behaviors and a complete physical exam, including blood tests, to rule out any physical illness. If there are no health concerns, the next step would be a referral to a psychiatrist or psychologist, who can diagnose antisocial personality disorders with assessment tools and an interview.

Treatment for a Sociopath

It is hard to treat those with ASPD, including sociopaths. Long-term therapy is needed, which can be especially hard as the sociopath may not recognize the problem. If a sociopath is willing to enter therapy, family involvement may help.

Sometimes, a psychiatrist will prescribe medicine, such as antipsychotic drugs or mood stabilizers, which may prevent impulsive or aggressive behavior. But medication is not considered a cure for antisocial personality disorders.

Therapy sessions to learn about harmful behaviors and their impact on the sociopath and those around them can be useful. Therapy can teach ways to cope and manage behavior to improve relationships and behavior patterns. This can help improve social skills and coping mechanisms, making the person with ASPD happier and productive. Seeking help is the most important step.

Living With a Sociopath

If someone you love has ASPD, it can be very isolating. You can get help from a therapist or find a support group. You won't be able to change your loved one's behavior, but you can learn ways to understand and cope, or ways to set boundaries and protect yourself.

If you have experienced anxiety and depression as a result, support groups or therapy can help you. Having someone to talk to can make things easier.

Inside The Mind Of A Sociopath : NPR

Inside The Mind Of A Sociopath The word "sociopath" often brings to mind criminals, killers, and people who are cruel and heartless. But writer and diagnosed sociopath M.E. Thomas wants to challenge that conventional wisdom. She says sociopaths are not inherently evil, and can be incredibly productive to society.

Mental Health

June 19, 201311:55 AM ET

Heard on Tell Me More

NPR Staff

Inside The Mind Of A Sociopath

What exactly is a sociopath? Many people might think of killers, criminals, the cruel and heartless, Jack Nicholson's character in The Shining.

That's the common wisdom. But it's being challenged by a new memoir, Confessions of a Sociopath: A Life Spent Hiding in Plain Sight. It's written under the pen name of M.E. Thomas. The author says most sociopaths are not incarcerated — and the silent majority of them live freely and anonymously. They're your neighbors, colleagues, maybe even family members and lovers.

Thomas admits that sociopaths can be dangerous; they're hungry for power, and they don't feel guilt or remorse. But they're not inherently evil, and some are highly productive members of society. Thomas herself is an attorney, law professor and Sunday school teacher. She founded the website SociopathWorld.com.

Interview Highlights

On the key traits of a sociopath

"They can be very charismatic. They don't really get nervous. ... They tend to fail to conform to social norms. They might come off as a little bit of an independent thinker. Or they might be committing crimes, depending on who they are. They have a facility with lying — well, they lie frequently, obviously to cover up certain aspects of themselves, or things that would indicate that they are a sociopath. Probably the biggest characteristic of a sociopath is their lack of empathy. ... They can't really imagine or feel the emotional worlds of other people. It's very foreign to them. And they don't have conscience."

On whether sociopaths can have fulfilling, loving relationships

"Definitely fulfilling, and I think loving; we feel a love. You know, whatever it is that we feel affection, for me it's maybe 70 percent gratitude, a little bit of adoration, a little bit of — if it's a romantic relationship — infatuation or sexual attraction. I think a complex emotion like love is made up of all sorts of little emotions. And our particular cocktail of love is going to look or feel different to us, but it's still there."

On changing the way we view sociopaths

"I think that there really has been so little research done about sociopaths. And the common wisdom now is that they are untreatable. And that, you know, sociopathy is basically synonymous with evil. ... You know, statistically everybody has interacted with a sociopath at one point. But the fact that most people can't identify who a sociopath is or remember those sorts of interactions suggests to me that it couldn't have been that bad of an interaction, right? Most people interact with sociopaths in positive ways and don't realize it. It's only when we catch them, and they are in prison, and we have gone through this lengthy trial to point out all the bad things that they've done, that we start thinking that sociopaths are bad."

On realizing she's a sociopath

"I had just lost a job. I had just lost several relationships. And it wasn't the first time that something like this had happened to me, where my life seemed to just fall apart. And I thought, 'Well, I can't keep doing this — every few years have my life just go kaput. And so I thought, 'What is the common denominator here? It's me. There must be something that I'm doing that's causing this.' So I started going to therapy, and therapy didn't really help that much. ... But I remembered through therapy a casual diagnosis that one of my co-workers had made years before. And I explained to her how I viewed the world and my ethical principles, and she said very nicely, 'You might consider the fact that you are a sociopath.' So I looked it up, and I saw the traits, and it made sense. And it made sense in a way that nothing really before had."

On why she wrote the memoir under a pen name

"There's a huge stigma against sociopaths, and I wanted to protect my family a little bit as well. I have little relatives who share my last name, and they've done nothing really to bring any sort of notoriety to themselves."

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9 signs that you are a sociopath

He has no conscience, he lies and does not blush, he does not blush at all, except perhaps from wine, but never from guilt. Do you know such a person? Congratulations. Although, however, there is nothing: most likely, you happened to meet a sociopath, and before it’s too late, run away from him. You won't like talking to him.

Sociopathy is a dissocial personality disorder that can affect anyone: your neighbor, boss, girlfriend, husband, child, police officer, and so on. The disorder is not congenital: if a psychopath is to be born, then sociopathy is the result of childhood trauma, perhaps even abuse, physical or emotional.

"Suffer" is not quite the right word: sociopaths don't suffer from their disorder at all. But those around you get it. Because sociopaths do not put them in a penny, they live for their own pleasure, and nothing will force them to at least look at their behavior from the outside.

Cold, sinisterly attractive, unaware of doubts and remorse, fearless and ready to take risks, these people are dangerous to others. But it is rather difficult to understand: sociopaths are so charming that it is easy to fall in love with them, to see a teacher, a guru, a savior of the fatherland. And only when your life is destroyed or at least turned upside down, you will start to look around and ask what it was.

The biggest problem with a sociopath is that they are hard to recognize.

More precisely, it is easy to misunderstand him: not knowing how to experience such feelings as love, compassion, shame, guilt, they know very well how to show them.

These are excellent actors: not every psychiatrist will be able to accurately determine the first time that he is a sociopath. What can we say about us mere mortals.

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The easiest way to confuse a sociopath is with a narcissist - a charming, narcissistic idiot who endlessly flaunts in front of a mirror and posts selfies (according to a study conducted in 2015 at Ohio State University, men who often take selfies and select them for social networks are prone to narcissism) .

But wait. A sociopath is not an idiot at all. And he may have plans for you.

In 2005, American psychologist Martha Stout wrote a book that has become a classic, The Sociopath Next Door. In it, she clearly explains how high our chances are to suffer from the actions of sociopaths - because these are not movie characters.

Sociopaths often become criminals - but much more often their lack of conscience leads them to power.

And they begin to manage other people's lives in a way that suits them. To do this, you do not even need to declare yourself a guru or become the founder of a sect.

9 signs that you are at the mercy of a sociopath

1. He is charming

Sociopaths have a special attraction - and people who need to be nurtured and guided like to be around such a strong, powerful person. This calms them down, gives them confidence in the future.

In addition, sociopaths are often sexually attractive. By the way, they use it: promiscuity is one of the hallmarks of a sociopath.

2. He is unpredictable

And this distinguishes him from his psychopathic brother, with whom he is easily mistaken. Both do not experience emotions.

But if a psychopath is inclined to build and implement his plans in cold blood, then a sociopath is capable of spontaneous, inexplicable, often risky actions.

He can break the rules and go beyond the accepted.

3. He does not feel shame, regret or guilt

And it is pointless to be offended by them for this: they are simply arranged in such a way that such feelings are unknown to them. Because of this, alas, they can, without a twinge of conscience, betray, lie, intrigue, threaten - in general, harm other people in every possible way.

They act solely in their own interests - and because of this they often succeed in business and politics.

4. He likes to brag

More precisely, to exaggerate the significance of one's achievements or the exclusivity of one's experience. When telling a story from his life, a sociopath dramatizes events, embellishing, exaggerating, inventing colorful details - but at the same time he sounds extremely convincing.

5. He must win at any cost

It is better not to compete with such a person at all: in any situation he needs to win, and he will not disdain any means. This is a desperate debater who always wins, and if he is caught in a lie, he will dodge to the end, but will never admit it.

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6. He is very smart

High intelligence is rare, and it is especially offensive that sociopaths use their intellectual abilities to cheat and manipulate other people.

7. He doesn't love anyone

A sociopath is incapable of experiencing love. He can imitate her: he knows the right words and movements - so you don’t even know that, in fact, he is completely cold. But in fact, he does not know what love, empathy or sympathy is.

8. He never apologizes

And no wonder, we have already understood that he does not feel guilty. So why empty words, some kind of apology? For what? Even when he is caught by the hand or pushed against the wall, he does not admit that he was wrong. On the contrary, he goes on the attack.

Try to directly and convincingly accuse him of something, giving evidence and examples. In response, he will attack you with accusations, stating that you specifically want to denigrate him and are probably already weaving a secret conspiracy.

9. He often presents himself as a knight with high moral principles

In fact, he can be a swindler, a deceiver, even a thief, but in words it always turns out that he is desperately fighting for the truth. He imagines himself almost the only person thanks to whom the world has not yet collapsed.

In work groups, sociopaths often provoke conflicts, pit people against each other, and declare themselves to be saviors, ready to keep the company from disintegration and ruin.

What not to do when communicating with a sociopath

You probably already understood who the sociopath is in your environment, and you were scared enough. The worst thing about this story is that you can't change a sociopath. It remains to understand what to do if, for example, it is impossible to completely avoid communication. Or at least - what not to do, as M.I. suggests in his blog Sociopath World. Thomas, author of Confessions of a Sociopath (Confessions of a Sociopath), published in the US in 2014.

Remember what doesn't work when dealing with a sociopath:

1. Accusations and counter-accusations

Trying to blame a sociopath will only lead to a scandal, from which you will come out, having failed.

2. Emotions

Sociopaths are not at all interested in hearing about how you feel about their behavior. Never show emotion or raise your voice in an argument with such a person.

3. Threats and ultimatums

Any pressure, including emotional pressure, is perceived by the sociopath as a challenge, as part of the game, and immediately joins the competition. Which is guaranteed to win.

4. Reasoning about good and evil

Don't try to judge what is good and what is bad, the sociopath doesn't know, which means he doesn't care.

Signs of a Sociopath: How to Recognize a Person with a Personality and Behavior Disorder - July 3, 2022

Short temper and conspicuous rule breaking can be a marker of possible personality disorder

Photo: Shutterstock.com

Antisocial personality disorder affects between 0.2% and just over 3% of the population. At the same time, it is detected in men 6 times more often than in women. Such analytics with reference to the APA (American Psychological Association) leads "Dr. Peter".

And if the causes of personality disorder are to be found in childhood experience, then antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), according to experts, is more clearly associated with childhood behavior. So, it can manifest itself in adulthood in about 40% of children with conduct disorder. It is believed that much in the development of sociopathy depends on heredity - if someone in the family suffered from it, there is a high risk that other relatives may also have it.

As Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D., professor at Northern Illinois University told Psychology Today, people with antisocial personality disorder don't care about how their actions affect others. If they have a goal, they choose any means to get what they want, and they do not care about the possible consequences for the other person.

Such people do not hesitate to deceive others if it is necessary to achieve the goal. They may risk their own and others' safety, as well as engage in dangerous or even criminal activities. They also live in the present and will use their charm and sometimes power to take advantage of other people. Also among the hallmarks of sociopaths are impulsiveness and hostility. This does not mean that they do not know about the existence of the rules - they just do not want to follow them.

According to the specialist, sociopaths are unlikely to climb the career ladder. This is due to the fact that, most likely, they have little interest in living up to someone's expectations or following the rules. They may wish for success, but at the same time they look at it from the position of an egoist: they do not strive to come to work on time or complete tasks. And while such people may use their ability to manipulate and deceive to get a job, along with impulsiveness and irritability, these abilities lead to them losing it just as quickly.

An expert states that people with antisocial personality disorder initially seem very attractive due to the popular "bad boy" or "bad girl" image.

Someone may be hooked by their demonstrative behavior, but relationships with such people, as a rule, are not designed for the long term. Often because sociopaths can't really care about the other person's feelings and tend to value relationships only as a means to their own ends. And when they can no longer get what they want, they end the relationship and move on without thinking about the past.

According to Dr. Degges-White, antisocial personality disorder may first appear before the age of 15 in the form of a conduct disorder, but it is not possible to speak of it as a “diagnosis” until adulthood and at least three of these seven signs are identified:

A person repeatedly commits illegal acts and demonstrates disrespect for the law.
He deceives others for his own personal gain or amusement, using fictitious names or outright lies.
Impulsively makes decisions and acts without planning what to do next.
Easily provoked and gets into fights aggressively.
Demonstrates a disdain to the point of recklessness for one's own safety and the safety of others.
Constantly shows irresponsibility, without thinking about the consequences for himself and others. For example, such a person may quit suddenly, without planning to go to another job, ignore financial obligations or personal obligations.
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