Verbal abuse of men

Building Your Case: How to Document Abuse

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If you are in an abusive relationship and are in the process of taking (or deciding to take) legal action against your abusive partner, documenting the abusive behaviors of your partner can be an important component of building your case.

It’s worth noting that each state has different laws about what evidence and documentation can be used in court. Speaking with a legal advocate in your state might better prepare you for your unique situation (our advocates at the Hotline can help locate a legal advocate near you). According to WomensLaw, in most states evidence can include (but is not limited to) the following:

Verbal testimony from you or your witnesses
Medical reports of injuries from the abuse
Pictures (dated) of any injuries
Police reports of when you or a witness called the police
Household objects torn or broken by the abuser
Pictures of your household in disarray after a violent episode
Pictures of weapons used by the abuser against you
A personal diary or calendar in which you documented the abuse as it happened

Below are a few actions you can take to create documentation, if you are able to or feel safe doing so:

Visit the doctor.

More and more, doctors and gynecologists are trained to recognize signs of abuse. Your health care provider could also be a safe resource for disclosing the abuse. If you’re visiting a doctor for an injury, ask them about safe ways they can make notes about the abuse — ex. Some can write “cause of an injury” without it having to go to the police.

Consider outside documentation.

Do you have a trusted friend, coworker or family member who knows what’s going on and would be willing to help? There are many ways they can help document the abuse — whether that’s a coworker making note of times your partner calls you at the office, or a friend holding your journal at her house.

Create a stalking log.

If your partner is stalking you, creating a stalking log can be very helpful to your case. The National Center for Victims of Crime’s Stalking Resource Center has examples of stalking logs (in PDF and Word formats) as well as additional information on stalking.

Learn more about police reports.

ex. Like filing about a lost bike. Ask, “Hypothetically, if there was something that was happening that I would want to report…”

Always ask questions. Call your local police department’s non-emergency number and find out about the protocols and procedures of filing a police report.

This can help you prepare for filing a police report if you need to, which creates a paper trail of the abuse.

Take pictures.

A digital camera or your phone camera may not always be safe. Consider getting a disposable camera. Another option is for someone else to take the pictures and keep them for you.

Let it go to voicemail.

Is your partner calling over and over? Let it go to voicemail once and save the voicemail.

Save digital evidence.

Do you have a smartphone? Most have the “take a screenshot” option. Thirty missed calls from your abusive partner? Take a screenshot of that. Threatening texts? Instead of responding to them, take a screenshot of them. These screen shots get saved in your images folder, so remember to send them on to a friend and delete them. If your partner sends threatening emails, don’t respond to them, but consider saving them in a folder in your inbox.

If you’re not sure if documenting your abuse would be safe, always go with your gut. It’s very important to keep in mind that you are the expert on your situation, and what works for one person may not be a safe idea for another person.

We are not legal advocates at the Hotline, but we are able to offer support and refer you to the local or state resources that might be helpful to you.

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Do You Have A Verbally Abusive Wife? Recognize The Signs

Verbal abuse is a pervasive problem in many intimate relationships. You may not be sure if your partner or loved one is undergoing this in your relationship. First, let's define what it is, and then you can assess whether your partner practices it. It is a serious problem where one partner acts or speaks cruelly to the other. It can happen to people of any gender or sexuality. In this article, we're going to talk about how to tell if you have an abusive wife and if so, what to do about it.

Abused men, in particular, may struggle with admitting that they have a partner who practices verbal abuse, and that's one of the reasons that they don't seek support, whereas women can more readily do so because there's less of a stigma about women being abused; it's the narrative that is typically suggested. When it comes to victims of abuse, whether they are gay, straight, bisexual, or of another sexual orientation, if they intend to leave their relationship, it can be especially difficult because abuse is not something men are encouraged to do reveal or talk about openly. There's so much stigma regarding men and emotional vulnerability; because of that stigma, a man in our society isn't encouraged to open up about abuse. There's not much dialogue surrounding women who verbally abuse because the focus is mostly on men who verbally abuse.

What Are The Signs Of Verbal Abuse?

You Don't Deserve To Be Abused, And It's Not Your Fault

Get Support From A Licensed Counselor and Move Forward

There are many sorts of abuse, and we tend to highlight those that we can see, such as physical or sexual abuse. However, verbal and emotional abuse can be as damaging as these types of mistreatment. What is verbal abuse? Verbal abuse is when one person is attacking another individual through word usage. They might be using name-calling, they might be stonewalling a person (ignoring them purposefully or giving monosyllabic answers), you may have a controlling wife, or they may be acting in a cruel, passive-aggressive manner. There are many different kinds of verbal abuse, and if you have a verbally abusive wife, they'd be employing one of these tactics. Let's talk about some of the different ways that verbal abuse can play out so that you know the signs:

Rage or yelling - Does your partner have angry outbursts? Do they scare you or say hurtful things to you during this time? If your partner yells at you, takes their anger out on you, or makes you feel unsafe, that is abusive, and it isn't okay under any circumstances.

Threatening - This is when a partner makes threats toward you; it can be anything from someone threatening to leave you if you don't do something for them, threatening to hurt you, threatening you through blackmail.

Victim blaming - This is when someone blames the victim for what happens to them—for example, a verbally abusive partner using victim-blaming.

Stonewalling - When the victim tries to defend themselves, the abuser doesn't respond or gives short answers.

Gaslighting is an abuse tactic where an abuser makes the other person feel "crazy" for having feelings or making them feel that their reality isn't real.

Name-calling - Name-calling is a rather straightforward form of abuse to explain. This is when someone calls a person names, telling them that they're "too sensitive," "a wimp," or any other negative term.

Devaluing - This is when someone verbally diminishes another person's value. If your partner does this, they might tell you that you're "worthless" or "hopeless," none of which is true.

Why Men Stay In Verbally Abusive Relationships

Our society focuses on how women are abused. We tend to gloss over how women can be abusers. Why do men keep quiet about their abuse? The answer is primarily stigma and toxic masculine culture. In addition to the stigma where men are told that they can't admit vulnerability or come forward when abuse is happening, they might stay in an abusive relationship for various reasons. It could be that they're part of a family unit and feel that it's their responsibility to fulfill their role within the family, it could be that they're financially dependent on their partner, or it could be that they're not sure how to speak up or stand up for themselves. Sometimes, people don't know how to confront abuse even though it's damaging their self-esteem and harming them. If someone is a victim of gaslighting, for example, their partner may have convinced them that they deserve the abuse and that they're the problem when in reality, that's not true. Verbal abuse is never justified. There are certain forms of abuse that are harder to spot, such as neglect or stonewalling.

Myths About Being Verbally And Emotionally Abused

We need to start debunking the myths around verbal and emotional abuse. These lies are detrimental to those who are victims. Certain things are spread about verbal abuse that isn't true and harm victims. Let's go over some of the myths that are perpetuated about abuse so that if you do have a verbally abusive wife, if you're being abused by someone else, or if you notice that another person in your life might be on the receiving end of abuse, you'll know the facts.

One untruth is that physical and emotional abuse always go together. The truth is that verbal abuse on its own is still abuse and that it is still very serious. Verbal and emotional abuse doesn't have to coincide with physical abuse to be severe and detrimental; an abusive wife might abuse you through manipulation or similar tactics without abusing you physically.

Another misconception is that abuse only happens to women, not men. Just like any kind of abuse - sexual, physical, emotional, or mental - it can happen to any gender, race, sexual orientation, and so on. No one is immune to abuse, and it is never your fault. It's important to note that abuse doesn't always occur in romantic relationships; it can also occur within a familial relationship or friendship.

Also, a myth is that emotional abuse isn't as severe as physical abuse. In actuality, any form of abuse is detrimental, and the problem that's often seen in emotional or verbal abuse is that it's easily hidden. An abuser may hide what they're doing by acting completely differently in public vs. how they treat you in the home, which can allow it to go on for extended periods without anyone noticing. The scars of emotional and verbal abuse run deep and can be dangerous for that reason.

All Genders Suffer Abusive Mistreatment

All genders suffer abuse, whether it's verbal, physical, or sexual. A verbally abusive relationship can destroy a person. One form of verbal abuse that can be detrimental to a person's wellbeing is being called names. It's not acceptable to call another person names. You don't have to resort to that sort of behavior. There are many ways to deal with conflict, and name-calling makes the situation much worse. If you feel so angry that you can't control your temper, that could be a time to take space from your partner. Nobody likes to be told things like, "you're lazy" or "you're a loser." These are hurtful and abusive things to say to your partner.

If your partner is calling you names, you do not have to tolerate these actions. You can try setting boundaries if your partner is cruel. It's within your right as a human being to say, "I won't tolerate being called names. There are more subtle ways that a person can be verbally abusive. For example, someone might engage in stonewalling. That's when a person gives their partner silent treatment. Stonewalling is cruel and can make the person trying to speak to their significant other feel small or unloveable. The silent treatment is abusive and intentionally manipulative. It's a way that someone allows the person to be quite the power and control over their partner. If they don't speak, they can't be liable for their actions. Power and control are an illusion. If your partner is ignoring you, you don't have to engage with them. If you find yourself being stonewalled regularly, that's a sign that your partner is comfortable with abusing you. That's not okay and needs to change. Any abuse is wrong, and if it's a pattern and happening regularly, you can seek help.

How to Help Someone Else Suffering From Abusive Mistreatment

One resource you can refer people to when there's abuse is the national domestic violence hotline. There are trained, compassionate professionals on the other end waiting to help survivors. They can call the national domestic violence hotline and get support and guidance. If you're enduring verbal abuse, there is help out there. You don't have to suffer alone. There are some kinds of abuse that are difficult to detect. If your friend tells you, they find themselves apologizing to their partner but don't know why that could be a sign of abuse. If they admit that they're walking on eggshells around their significant other, that's another sign that something is off. In healthy relationships, two people are comfortable saying how they feel. Partners don't need to be walking on eggshells around each other. A person can give constructive criticism to their partner without worrying about the person's reaction. If your friend or loved one tells you they're concerned they're not in a healthy relationship, listen to them. They may be afraid to confront the issue and engage in circular arguments with you to avoid the fact that they're being abused. When, in fact, they feel isolated due to the abuse and are trying to reach out for help. Once they reveal that they're being abused, it could be a life-changing moment. Don't be shocked if they don't answer your calls after talking to them about the abuse. The person may be scared. The best thing you can do is support them. Empower them and tell them that they deserve a healthy relationship where they're treated with respect.

Fighting Back With Actions Against Abusive Treatment

When a person is verbally abused, they may feel powerless. It seems like there's no hope, and they can't escape their circumstances. The thing about abuse is that it can be insidious. You may not notice that someone is mistreating you until it goes on for a while. It could take years to recognize that you're being abused. If that's the case, and it takes a while to determine that you're being mistreated, don't blame yourself. It's not your fault that your partner is deliberately hurting you. You didn't do anything to bring this mistreatment on yourself. Some people will victim-blame you. These individuals could say that there's something you're doing to attract an abusive person. This isn't true.

Many people find themselves in abusive relationships, and they had no idea that their partner was capable of these acts. Abusers are sneaky, and they don't necessarily reveal their behavior right away. Another thing about abuse is that it isn't always constant. Abusers could be kind one day to make you stay and then cruel another. The cycle of abuse is vicious and difficult to escape. You mustn't take the blame for your trauma. Bad things happen to good people. Life isn't fair sometimes. Some young people get into relationships, and over time they realize that they're not good for them. The signs of abuse creep in. These individuals discover they're not in a healthy relationship, but one that is full of abuse. There is gaslighting, which means that when their partner tries to tell the abuser they're hurting them, the person claims that they are crazy. The abuser digs their heels in and tells their victim that they imagine the mistreatment. If this is happening to you, you can get the help you need. One place to start is with a licensed therapist. Mental health professionals have seen many people deal with abusive relationships. If you feel that there is hope and that your partner can stop engaging in verbal abuse, couple's counseling may be an option. You deserve to be in a healthy relationship where your partner treats you with love and respect. When you talk about verbal abuse in therapy, you can clarify how to take action and defend yourself. A healthy relationship means that partners care about each other and listen to one another's needs. If you are suffering from verbal abuse, speak up, and get support in therapy.

Staying Safe

If you have a verbally abusive wife, it can be an unsafe situation. Remember that your safety and wellbeing matter. You don't have to stay silent, and there is help for your situation. As much as it's scary for a man in an abusive relationship with a woman to seek help, it's important to do so. Many different organizations reach out to domestic violence organizations, such as the safe horizon and the crisis text line.

One of the reasons men struggle to reach out is that they're fearful that they won't be believed due to stereotypes. It's vital to have a safety plan because emotional abuse can get dangerous and can have long-term psychological side effects. It's important to note as well that emotional abuse can be the gateway to physical abuse.

Effects

Potential effects of abuse are:

Self-esteem issues
Difficulty with concentration
Nightmares
Body aches
Depression
Chronic pain
Anxiety
Insomnia
Social isolation or withdrawing from others

The effects of verbal abuse can be extremely detrimental over the long term. Undergoing verbal or emotional abuse can lead to eating disorders, substance abuse disorders, chronic mental health issues, and PTSD. Trauma can cause harmful effects to your brain, and verbal abuse can be traumatic. One of the things that stop men from detaching from verbally abusive partners is a sense of loyalty to that person. They feel as if they cannot leave the situation. However, staying in a harmful relationship causes long-term damage to your mind and potentially your body if the abuse escalates. That's why seeking help is crucial, no matter how hard it may seem.

Verbal Abuse Can Result In PTSD

Many people don't consider that verbal abuse, like any other form of abuse, can lead to PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). There are many misconceptions about who gets PTSD or why it develops, but the truth is that men who are verbally abused can develop PTSD symptoms as a result of the abuse. Some symptoms of PTSD include irritability, insomnia or hypersomnia, pervasive, intrusive thoughts, outbursts of anger, flashbacks, and nightmares. If you experience verbal abuse, you might develop C-PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) due to repeated abuse episodes. You can recover from trauma, but it's something that you need to work on in therapy. The right therapist can support you as you work through your trauma and rebuild your life after trauma.

Getting Help

You Don't Deserve To Be Abused, And It's Not Your Fault

Get Support From A Licensed Counselor and Move Forward

Your mental health matters above all else. Intimate relationships are fulfilling and important. It's crucial to make sure you are treated with respect and loved. You might be afraid to confront the idea that you are verbally abused, but the sooner you seek help, the better. The faster you confront these issues, the quicker you can start the healing process. Not all verbal abuse is hopeless. You and your partner may be able to talk through these issues and stop the cycle of abuse. Above all, the healing begins with you. Find a mental health professional to help you work through your verbal abuse.

How to humiliate a man smart. Offensive, but "cultural" insults for a man

Every woman has her own reasons for a negative attitude towards a man. And such sentiments are very noticeable if you are critical of women's posts on the World Wide Web. Representatives of the weaker half are especially interested in the topic of humiliation. Simply put, ladies need phrases with which you can morally humiliate a man.

What words can humiliate a man?

It is rare when a lady throws humiliating phrases at a guy just like that. This means that the limit of her patience has come. Although, as practice shows, the weak half of humanity does not have this patience.

However, the weaker sex of women can only be called conditionally. After all, men are morally less stress-resistant and it is very easy to get them out of emotional balance. Because of this, any instructive conversations with a man should take place under the sign of dissatisfaction with his shortcomings.

It is often easy to find them. Few of them can simultaneously boast of the makings of a breadwinner, a master and a great friend who knows how to empathize. Often a man is enough for only one role or none at all. But criticism can do its job. She definitely loses her self-esteem. So it will not be difficult to humiliate such a vulnerable person.

Self assessment. Puzzling over words for humiliation, it is worth understanding: men carefully guard their peace. This means that most of them have a “program” in their heads, according to which all criticism is a minus for the one who expresses it.

It is very difficult to shake the self-esteem of such a person. But there is a way out. It is necessary to put pressure on the most intimate - belonging to the species of males. It is important to cast doubt on the sense of pride that he feels about this. And hints of disappointment in his masculine strength will finish off even the most stubborn. In any case, a spark of doubt will already sink into the soul.

A cruel joke with a very transparent hint of his inappropriate behavior during intimacy will be especially unpleasant. It will hook any guy.

Most men pay great attention to appearance. Although they carefully hide it. It is easy to check his true attitude. You just need to sincerely admire the figure or facial features of another.

Talent. To offend a guy, it is not necessary to point out the inability to sing. After all, this is not always among his benefactors. But there is still some talent. Therefore, it would be useful to cite a celebrity with similar abilities as an example. And also transparently hint that the latter at his age already shone on stage or among fans.

Words like “coward”, “scumbag”, “rag”, “sissy” will act as catalysts for anger on the interlocutor.

What words can be used to humiliate a guy?

Apparently, general information will suffice. After all, it's all theory. And most ladies really want to learn in practice what words to annoy their missus.

You should immediately take into account the character and disposition of the interlocutor. Most likely, this is a person who knows what to answer in any situation. Otherwise, there would be no need to humiliate him. It is for this reason that it makes sense to view the dialogue below. Many will see their relationship in it. Especially in the part where the man behaves offensively.

- You're a fool!

Yes, it is. I even have a certificate about it. And in the column "reason" it is written: I communicate a lot with fools.

- You can't dance.

- Yes, what kind of dance is there. With you, the main thing is to have time to remove the leg quickly, so as not to crush.

— What did you bark there?

- Strange. I have no problem communicating with other people. Only with you. Maybe it's just you or your bad hearing.

— Are you very brave?

— What are you up to? Are you afraid that the coupon with a discount to the emergency room will burn in vain?

These are only approximate models of situations. You can choose a specific option and style of communication only taking into account the communication and character of the person.

It is worth remembering that it will not work to shake the self-esteem of a self-confident representative of the stronger sex. But with a weakling, there will be no problems. One way or another, to endure bullying and moral pressure is not worth it. To do this, you can use a number of universal phrases described below:

I probably need to look like a goofball to match you;
no need to feel sorry for him, he is not sick, this is his usual appearance;
yeah, beauty is clearly not your dignity;
would send you, but, apparently, you have already been there;
think, at least with some brains, you can use the ones in the back, closer to the ass, you always do that;
positive Rh factor is, apparently, the only "plus" in the list of your virtues;
don't worry, I didn't remember your name either;
my strength is not to listen to your insanity.

What words can humiliate a man?

I remember how a neighbor in the heat of a quarrel (which took place in the summer with open windows, so the whole yard could hear) shouted to her husband that he was a disposable syringe. A man in a stupor and binge spent two weeks ...

I consider the most insulting words for a man - this is an indication of his failure in bed. But if you tell him this at least once, then you will no longer have intimate relationships - a man is unlikely to forgive this.

Men are most offended by talk about their manhood. If you inadvertently notice that the size and shape matter, but not in his case, the offense will be for life. And if he also doubts (they all react a little uncertainly in this matter) - victory is on your side. Offended to the grave, even stop saying hello.

100% proven method!

It seems to me that a man can only be humiliated if you are no longer going to have anything to do with him. You can talk to him about what does not suit you, and if you want to humiliate him, then, I think, it's time to leave.

Women are amazing creatures: whims, accusations, tantrums are replaced by tenderness, affectionate words, an ostentatious demonstration of defenselessness. Further, if the actions did not achieve their goal, pathos and a desire to offend more forcefully follow. How? Thoughts wander, get confused, try to get to the surface, but... drown again. Literally go into a tailspin to the very bottom of common sense. And, when it already seems that there is no solution, the phrase pops up from the female lips by itself: Let's just be friends ...

Men will understand me...

I want to ask myself: I called the guy a coward and a scoundrel, I wrote in an SMS that it was a pity for the time spent on him And the boy seems to be not bad, now I’m thinking whether it’s worth apologizing, not to continue the relationship, but to remove the sin from the soul

The very thing that makes a man shudder, it seems to me, is the news from his wife that all the children are from a neighbor, and not from him, here he definitely won’t even be able to talk, he will go into himself for many years, well, of course, I think it’s not worth joking . .) but there are such cases, and in earnest .. This will offend a man, so for a man, offspring, his offspring, this is what they stand for, and here .. everything collapses in an instant.

My answer will be in opposition to Jenny's answer, I wanted to write a comment, but it was too voluminous.

Here is Jenny personally, out of everything you listed, only financial viability would hurt, everything else for a smart man is complete nonsense:

1 Physical data. A man may not be Apollo, but since something already connected him with this woman, it means SHE has already made a choice in his favor.

2 Giftedness. In the overwhelming majority of cases, a man will not care that he is compared with some kind of Lermontov. Not everyone should have such talents. He might as well say that Lermontov is a loser in his personal life, or that his carriage was not fashionable.

4 Text theme. If a man knows that women are fine with him, that he is not impotent, then he will not bother, what a single woman tells him.

5 Mama's boy? Well, if a man is really like that, then such an accusation should be said in a timely manner, and not in moments of vengeful resentment. The coward is the same, you need to blame it after the fact.

So dear Jenny, only grandmas remain 🙂 A man who does not know how to earn them, who cannot provide for himself and his loved ones - deserves, if not contempt, then reproach.

If you are looking for an answer to the question: What words can be used to humiliate a man or a guy? , then most likely he offended you with something. Do not be like this person - spit and forget. Revenge won't do you any good. And if in essence, then the best insults are connected with his manhood and finances.

People, what are you?)

Do you really have such a narrow fantasy?))

Everyone strives to hide their shortcomings.

And items of pride - put on display.

But it is possible to turn objects of pride into shortcomings, into a laughingstock.

Every man, one way or another, is proud of the fact that he is already an adult)

But you can always show the opposite.

Does he have many girls? - The kid is looking for a mommy and still hasn't decided!)

Does he defend his opinion? - He was naughty, how, uh-way))

Independent? Silently decides everything himself? - Behave like a three-year-old who hasn't learned to speak yet!)))

Agrees with women? - Hiding behind women's skirts, Zayubun!))

Let the snot dry.

And let him behave like an obedient boy.

Personally, my mother got me with all this. Damn, I'll remember for the rest of my life.

I think it will work on other men too.

Well, if you humiliate women, then this will not work. They are better compared to old women.

But this is me by the way)

Something like this 😉

PS: True, humiliation has a drawback. They can even begin to humiliate in response. Do you need it?

Show complete indifference towards him. He wanted to hook you, humiliate you, cause anger, annoyance. And you show that he is zero, no one - this will be the best revenge. The best action is inaction.

will underestimate the size of his dignity many times over and say that he never satisfied you. and loser

Well, it seems to me that the words “Impotent” will sound the most offensive, you are not capable of anything in bed!, Well, then, such words as a goat, p ... st, gigolo. in shock, and some even p ... st as a reward. So, everything depends on the character, how his male pride will react.

I can't help but agree with Diesil users. Why create such questions? it's just not pretty. if you decide to take revenge - take revenge, but do not stoop to insults. although what insults, what revenge is so low.

Most men are very sensitive to any criticism addressed to them, so it is easy to offend them:

Physical data. You don’t even need to criticize, it’s enough to praise another man with good muscles with a word or a look
Giftedness. Phrase But Lermontov at your age was already a recognized genius - and your interlocutor is guaranteed to get some kind of depression.
Financial viability. A very painful question for men. You can even not say anything directly, but he is already in hysterics: well, what can you do, happiness is not in money, it’s just given to someone to earn good money, and not to throw the rest into a landfill.
Pipiska theme. Any man can say that there are more and better. But this can only be said to someone with whom you are definitely not going to communicate anymore.
Mama's boy and coward are also a good blow

If you really need it badly

in my opinion the most humiliating thing is my mother's pussy

but seriously, it's very hard to humiliate a man with words. Personally, I don't care what anyone says about me.

Especially, oddly enough, the gender approach is important here.

What women say about me, I do not perceive at all, because I understand that it can be said from evil or from jealousy.

What men say, I perceive as healthy, constructive criticism, and if it is in my power I try to correct it. If not, then I say I can't. No, there is no judgment. Humiliate me as you like on this issue, I don't care, because I know that there are no ideal people in nature. Each one pierces in his own way.

Revenge is not the best human quality, you should not stoop to his level. But still, if you really need it, then repay him with the same coin, you just need to clean the coin.

You can humiliate, but is it necessary?

If you decide to finally break up with him, tell him with your head held high: - You are very good and handsome, I am not worthy of you, I need something better and more attractive, I'm sorry that I understood this too late!

Wish you good luck and leave without slamming the door.

Having offended you, he waits for the psycho to cover and rejoice from this. Deprive him of this pleasure, keep yourself in control and completely calmly, without emotions, conduct a conversation. From this, the psycho will cover him.

Can I answer about a real man

A real man does not get offended by empty accusations, but he reacts to comments on the case accordingly, draws conclusions and moves on.

If we talk about children who want to seem like men, then, of course, in the first place in terms of offenses:

the topic of money,
sex theme,
the theme of the mind.

But if there is a man nearby who wants to say hurtful words in order to take revenge, then it is better to let him go (thank him for showing himself) and live on without him.

Some relationships at a certain moment enter a phase when it is no longer possible to save them, and most importantly, there is no desire. Sometimes the guy is so disappointed or offended that it becomes difficult to calm the bitterness and calm the anger. In this state, sometimes there is an irresistible desire to inflict no less suffering on him. In this case, you can use words, because, as you know, this is the most powerful weapon that can even kill.

What to say

First of all, it depends on what relationship you had with the guy. Suppose close. So, quite a lot is known about its weaknesses and shortcomings. It is advisable to direct your efforts to these places. If you wish, you can even use its advantages for your own purposes. For example, he is outwardly attractive, knows about it and is very proud of his appearance. You can condescendingly say: “Strange. Usually girls are proud of a pretty face, in men, in real ones, that is, other qualities in price. I understand that you have nothing more to boast about, but you don’t advertise like that, otherwise the rest will know about it. ” Or: “You are so happy with your appearance, as if you were going to make money on it. Or is there something I don't know about you?!" Or like this: “Even a prettier guy will make you sick if he is so dumb. You'd rather read something, eh?"

A win-win option for any guy with whom you had a close relationship is to express joy at the end of it. You can say, “Well, better late than never! Finally at least meet a man. The phrase said with enthusiasm is also touching: “Yeah ... I lost a lot of time with you, I need to catch up!” Usually the guy in this case is trying to say something offensive, like “who needs you” or “you are intimately zero.” To this one can exclaim with amazement: “What was it that made you go crazy? Now I’ll find someone really worthwhile, at least I’ll finally experience pleasure. ” Or: “Didn’t you think, maybe I didn’t always notice your participation at all?”

You can say a lot of humiliating phrases to any guy who is not even very close, for example: “Excuse me, there is too much difference between us - they were engaged in my upbringing.” Or: "Just in case, move away from me a little, otherwise they will think that we are together." You can say something like: “I ask you one thing, if a miracle happens and you find a girl, the main thing is always to protect yourself! People like you can't breed. " The phrase said with participation can still be quite hurt: “Only one thing can save you: make a mysterious face and be silent, you can sometimes grin thoughtfully, just don’t open your mouth - you’ll ruin everything!”

Special attention should be paid to public insults. If there are spectators, humiliation with words can be turned into a subtle mockery. However, here you need to be especially careful not to lose your dominant position. To do this, you can use several methods prepared in advance. A universal way to repel a sudden attack from a guy is to exclaim with surprise, even approval, you can applaud at the same time: “Not bad, not bad! Even great for you! Answered directly almost on an equal footing! So maybe you've been pretending to be a fool so far? Come on, give me something else? After that, despite what he will say, without hesitation to answer in a disappointed tone: “No, I didn’t pretend, everything is true, it’s a pity.”

Being with a guy in the presence of third parties, you can have a lively conversation with everyone except the guy; suddenly turn to him and try to explain the meaning of a word that one of the interlocutors or you yourself just said. This should be done as naturally as possible, as if this explanation is dictated by concern for the mentally retarded young man, and not by the intention to offend him. You can also turn to him after the told anecdote with words full of sad tenderness: “Everyone laughs, and you laugh, poor thing? Let me explain to you the meaning of the joke?

If the situation is not conducive to a long conversation, for example, the guy will try to retreat as quickly as possible, you can use short, sharp phrases without a backstory. As a rule, they relate to the appearance of the guy. You can exclaim in surprise in front of everyone: “What is wrong with you? Did your mother dress you again? Or: “Why are you dressed so lightly? Look - you'll catch a cold! And everything is so bad, and in five years you can’t do anything at all. ” If at first glance there is nothing to complain about, you can say something like: “Why do you look like that, did you decide to put pressure on pity? Well, in general, maybe you are right, at least someone will pick it up. However, the most important thing is not what, but how to say it: in order to hurt more painfully.

How to behave

First of all, never get angry. It is best to pretend that you are in a great mood, or, in any case, a completely calm state of mind. The power of words spoken in anger is halved; in addition, a person who is out of balance loses his dominant position. Thus, it is necessary to tune in to a complacent, calm way and maintain this appearance no matter what.

Consider the possibility of force majeure. The situation can turn in the most unexpected way, besides, the guy will not necessarily be silent; perhaps he will try to respond with a barb or hit with a response word in a sore spot. You have to be prepared for this and take a hit. In this case, you must at all costs continue to remain calm or even pretend that this attack of his has sincerely amused you.

If you can't find the right words quickly, you can resort to the technique of distracting attention to appearance. This technique involves suddenly paying attention to some detail or change in the guy himself. For example, his insulting speech can be suddenly interrupted by the words: “What is wrong with you ?! You're all stained! No need to strain your modest mental faculties like that! Calm down, you can also live with this, ”while depicting almost concern for his condition, pity for him. Without letting you come to your senses, seize the initiative with the words: “Well, okay, okay, you gather your thoughts, come up with something original, consult with someone smart, then speak again.”

If additional background is needed as support or to create the illusion of immediacy and lightness, you can start a correspondence with someone by phone. And it doesn't matter if it's a friend, mom, or even a total stranger. You can pretend that this correspondence is much more important than the presence of this guy. When you receive each message, you can smile, sometimes laugh, answer briefly, but with a sense of joy, each time being distracted again by the guy with words like: “So what am I talking about? Oh yes. Well, so…”, and then continue verbal humiliation, interrupting each time for a new message with the words: “now, just a minute…”.

It is best to avoid such words as "idiot", "goat", "bastard", etc. They are not as humiliating as they might seem, but they significantly lower the status and sense of worthy dominance of the humiliating person, more like a tantrum. You can interrupt the conversation at any time, as if suddenly drawing attention to the guy again, while saying: “How, are you still here?” or: "You can go, you're free for today." If he tries to argue or add something else, interrupt him and say in a “confiding” tone something like: “Honestly, I would have chatted with you more, but I already wasted a lot of time. Understand: there are people who are worth this time much more. At this point, you can turn around with dignity and leave.

Very often, in a fit of anger, we hurt close people unpleasantly. And it happens that you specifically think about how to offend or embarrass a guy who allows some offensive actions for you and hurts your self-esteem. In general, the opposite sex is not so easily offended or embarrassed - these are very specific creatures. However, there are things to which they react very painfully. Knowing about these subtleties, you will no longer think about how to offend a guy or embarrass him.

How to offend a guy with a word

In your life, you must have offended members of the opposite sex with such remarks more than once in your life. Firstly, men do not tolerate remarks about their manhood, and secondly, heterosexuals cannot be called gays.

We all know how reverently they treat their "masculine power apparatus". If the size does not come out, then these are complexes for life. No woman trembles so much over her female organ as a man over his male. Due to him, one can say, their self-assertion takes place, as a real strong man.

If a woman dares to offend this shrine, she will hear a lot of unflattering things addressed to her. Better not to say things like that. Some men who are not quite balanced may also hit for remarks about their sexual "giant". Still, you need to be careful here.

Less aggressive, but still quite violently a man will react if you doubt his traditional orientation. Nevertheless, this is again indirectly connected with his self-affirmation. After all, they don’t consider gays to be men either.

For them, the fact that they are men is already a certain status. And this status can not be encroached in any way. You can say whatever you want, criticize his appearance all over, except for this cherished place. Any woman would have long since dunked her lover in a bowl of soup for commenting on her appearance, but they don't care.

However, it is worth saying that some women, without suspecting, can hurt a loved one. They don’t even have to think about how to offend a guy or a man. The fact is that some people react painfully to comments about their figures, while others are complex for other reasons. They have all their cockroaches in their head. There are not as many of them as we have - women, but they sit much deeper and bite more painfully. In addition, a woman can show her resentment, and a man is strong, so he should remain silent, and not cry furtively into the pillow.

How to embarrass a guy: 2 ways

Life practice proves that the older men are, the more difficult it is to embarrass them. And it is true. Over time, a man gains life experience in different areas and the embarrassment that was in early youth, it practically disappears. And you need to try very hard to bring it to such a state.

But it's easier to confuse a guy. It happens that a young man behaves very defiantly and the girl has nothing left to do but to drive him into the paint, to teach the impudent a lesson so that he does not become arrogant. But, as we have already said, this is not so easy to do. You need to know the methods and ways to embarrass a guy. Now we will try to figure it out and make him blush a lot.

Method #1

Look directly into his eyes for a very long time. For representatives of the stronger sex, such a view is evaluated as a warning. Usually women do not look directly at a man, on the contrary, they look away. In such a specific situation, it will seem to the young man that the aggression comes from you.

He will feel threatened by his leadership. Your superiority will embarrass the guy. And in general, they are not used to when girls look at them like that. It seems that the girl takes power into her own hands. And he may be embarrassed;

Method #2

Start chatting with his friends about topics he doesn't know about. And when talking, sometimes turn to him with questions on the topic. A guy will certainly be very embarrassed by such a situation in which he knows less than a woman. It would be better if it was some kind of "male" theme.

Almost all young people are embarrassed when girls talk only about women's topics in front of them. You can also discuss with the guy the advantages of his friend, emphasizing that he himself does not have these advantages. You can also chat on women's topics or tell him about all the virtues of his friend and note that he does not have such. After a while you can see the color of his face - the color of a boiled crayfish;

Method #3

Don't forget sign language. This will help answer the question: "how to embarrass a guy" if you insist on expressing your sympathy. Direct interested glances at him, straighten your hair, twirl an object in your hands, lick your lips a little when talking. Take out your lipstick and touch up your makeup. All these gestures aimed at attracting a representative of the stronger sex in a perverted form will cause the guy's embarrassment.

If a guy doesn't know you, then rest assured that all gestures and facial expressions will make any man blush. A languid look, correcting hair, licking lips, tinting lips with lipstick. Persistently show your interest in him;

Method #4

Try to get close to a stranger, put your hand on his shoulder and, looking into his eyes, start a conversation. You can not only confuse, but also scare the guy in this way.

Method #5

Exaggerate his dignity in the form of a compliment. For example, praise a fat man for his slender figure or the height of a short young man. But keep in mind that it will become quite problematic to continue acquaintance with such a person in the future.

Most likely, the guy will not only be embarrassed, but also very offended. This may introduce him to the paint. But after this, you better not continue the conversation or acquaintance. Just a person can be offended by you.

The main thing is that your actions do not become destructive and unpleasant, otherwise you may be completely alone. And the person with whom you do this will not want to see or hear you at all. As the saying goes, for every action there is a reaction. The main thing is not to stumble upon such opposition.

Do not forget that the representatives of the stronger sex, as well as young ladies, do not like those who assert themselves at their expense. So do not overdo it in your desire to embarrass the guy, otherwise you can be left in splendid isolation.

Honey, I'm sorry that we quarrel so often out of nowhere because you're an idiot. And the color is rarely seen outside of the circus.

You have golden hands, a golden head. Another would be a driver between them ....

Didn't you happen to play Shrek?

Do you have such lush vegetation everywhere, or only in the nose and ears?

Did you see your reflection in the mirror today? Yes, no, nothing, I just thought that you are not reflected in the mirror..

And you have strong nerves! It is understandable, go, look in the mirror every day when you shave.

And you are photogenic. Have you been invited to film yet? Documentary. About pig breeding. Or, as a last resort, about the pollination of field grasses.

You look at me like I'm already naked.

It's always nice to talk to an intelligent person, you probably don't have a newspaper in your bathroom, but an album of Russian impressionists?

And I recognized you!!! In the pioneer camp, you always ate everything for everyone.

You are so smart! Tell me, does your brain box not press?

Can you drink the second bottle?

You are good, safe, but do you still have a lot of money left?

How great you blow your nose! Do you have a handkerchief in principle?

Did you wet your T-shirt under your armpits on purpose?

And you remind me of the ocean, huge, strong, assertive, and I'm already sick of you.

Are you from Moscow? I wouldn't believe it for anything - don't swear, don't be rude, polite...

Eugene, who do you look like?! For mom?! Oh, Eugene ... I strongly doubt that Larisa Leonidovna is a drunken notorious schmuck.

Now you know how to insult a man! more funny insults .

How to deal with verbal abuse in a relationship - HEROINE

Realizing that insults and rudeness have become the norm in your relationship with a partner is not so easy. Not always offensive words are obvious curses, there are many other ways to hurt a partner with one phrase. We understand what verbal abuse in a relationship is and how to respond to them.

Hurt with a joke, word or compliment: types of abuse in a relationship

Understanding that you have been physically abused is much easier than realizing that a person is verbally abusing you. There are many ways to hurt your partner without seeming to say anything special. Here are the main types of verbal abuse in a relationship:

Swear words

The most obvious way to offend is to use obscenities and other swear words. When a partner allows himself such rude behavior, it is worth seriously considering whether to stay in such a relationship. The next step could be assault.

Depreciation

This is when a partner casually downplays everything you do. It may even sound like a compliment: “You are great, but ...”, however, the second part of such praise nullifies the first. The purpose of this behavior is to ruin your self-esteem.

Critical remarks

Close to depreciation, but here the partner does not even try to pretend that he is praising you, although sometimes he disguises criticism as irony. Giving advice or saying things you don't like from time to time is fine, but if a guy does this on a regular basis, on every occasion, and in front of other people, then this is already a form of verbal abuse and a way to take away your confidence.

Raising voice

When a partner repeatedly breaks into a cry, the second person in a couple may develop a constant fear of saying or doing something wrong and again causing anger. Understanding that a guy's habit of raising his voice becomes offensive is easiest in his reaction.

Threats

They can be half-joking, but in any case, the partner's habit of threatening something will have a bad effect on your relationship. In this way, he is trying to manipulate you.

Refusing to talk

Ironically, this is also a form of verbal abuse. When a man suddenly stops talking, if it develops in a way that is unfavorable for him, avoids topics that are important to you, ignores your words, this is a clear sign of disrespect.

Read Related: 8 Signs Your Relationship Isn’t Respectful

What to Do When Your Partner Behaves Abusively

Try to Understand the Reasons

People most often turn to abusive behavior when they lose control, but if it has become systematic, it is worth looking for reasons. Perhaps rude words are the norm for a guy to communicate, and he just doesn’t realize that such an attitude hurts you. Although if he began to allow himself insulting expressions not immediately, but in the process of relations, then it is clearly not a matter of poor education.

Do not make excuses

Understanding the reasons will help develop an adequate response, but this is by no means a way to justify a partner. Whatever his motives, it doesn't give a guy the right to treat you abusively.

Don't answer the same

The biggest mistake is to answer an insult with an insult. It only reinforces this way of communicating in your relationship. When your partner gets into cursing and is unable to speak constructively, the best thing to do is to walk away from the situation, end the conversation, and let it cool down before you talk too much.

Form a supportive environment

Abusive partner behavior seriously hurts self-esteem. To maintain self-confidence, you need to find those who will always support you: communicate with friends, relatives. Hiding your problems from everyone and isolating yourself from others in such a situation is very dangerous, because you give your partner more control over yourself.

Set boundaries

It is important to establish healthy boundaries in a relationship from the start. This means not enduring insults in silence, but immediately declaring that it offends you and asking your partner not to do this again. If you tolerate unacceptable behavior for yourself, then you let the guy know that everything is normal and he can continue to behave like that.

Get help

Professional help is especially important if the guy has problems with self-control. Maybe he should learn to manage his anger. You can also use couples therapy if you think the abusive behavior is the result of accumulated problems in the relationship.

Get out of the relationship

This is an extreme step, but sometimes the only possible one. When your partner doesn't respond to your attempts to set boundaries, doesn't want to deal with their abusive behavior, and doesn't acknowledge it at all, it's worth breaking up with them. Insults in a relationship should by no means become the norm, in such conditions it is simply not possible to form a healthy strong bond.

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