Types of selfishness

9 Types of “Selfish” Behavior We Shouldn’t Be Ashamed Of / Bright Side

Although being called “selfish” may sound offensive, it doesn’t always mean that a person has done something wrong. It’s more likely that they stopped being a wallflower and learned to stand up for themselves. And this quality irritates many people.

Bright Side has made a list of 9 types of so-called selfish behavior that actually indicates that a person is psychologically mature.

9. To demand compensation

A bad hairstyle, a too-salty soup, or defective merchandise are good reasons to complain. Specialists recommend expressing your dissatisfaction with the service and asking to fix this unpleasant situation. If it’s impossible, you’re entitled to compensation.

There are different forms of compensation:

To render a service free of charge
To return the defective goods
To get a discount or a gift card
To get a compensation in the form of a lump sum

A manager or an owner can usually solve these problems.

8. To do nothing

When a person feels guilty because of a lack of productivity or an inability to meet deadlines, it may be a sign of a low self-esteem coupled with a strong sense of responsibility. We have read dozens of articles on how to boost our work performance but we often forget that sometimes we need to stop, relax, and have some time for ourselves.

7. To refuse to gossip

Gossiping in the workplace or with friends is a widespread habit and a refusal to participate in it may cause conflict. For your peace of mind, it’s better to express your opinion in a straightforward manner even if it may sound harsh.

6. To separate your personal and professional life

Although it’s completely normal to ask your clients or colleagues to not disturb you after 6 or 7 p.m., it may cause a misunderstanding. However, psychologists believe that the ability to separate your personal and professional life isn’t actually selfish behavior but an effective method to prevent professional burnout.

5. To take your place

When you’re on a plane or a train, there are always people who want to change seats for various reasons. But you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to! You also don’t have to make up excuses for your behavior. All in all, it’s possible to book a seat in advance if it’s that important.

4. To ask for a raise

Imposter syndrome can make you doubt if you’re good enough for your current position and refuse a promotion. However, you should always ask your boss for a raise if you feel like you’re capable of doing a more difficult job and have a strong connection with your colleagues. Of course, only do it if you’re interested in a higher position.

3. To stop being everyone’s shoulder to cry on

If your friend calls you every day to complain about their life and it goes on for many years, maybe it’s time to think about your relationship. Friendship should bring joy and inspiration and it should work both ways. It’s essential to help and support your friends, but you should do it right:

Try to help a person stop feeling like a victim.
Give good advice or express your concern.
Don’t forget about your family and psychological comfort.

Pay more attention to your feelings after a conversation — do you feel psychologically satisfied or like you’re being used?

2. To do things for yourself

Living your life for others may look noble but can lead to devastating consequences. Psychological maturity means that a person can separate their real desires and aspirations from imposed ones and can make their dreams come true.

Besides, psychologists claim that only people with adequate self-esteem and an ability to do things for themselves can build a happy family and become good parents.

1. Not to be afraid of public opinion

The ability to freely express emotions and opinions is one of the main features of a strong personality. Strong people aren’t ashamed to say no to a meeting or a relationship with a person they aren’t interested in, speak their minds, or look silly.

What “selfish” behavior do you find normal and rational? Share with us in the comments!

Preview photo credit Depositphotos, Depositphotos

11 Insightful Characteristics of Selfish People

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We all know that the world is full of selfish people. They can make your life difficult, and they are often a drain on society as a whole. This blog post will explore 11 characteristics of selfish people in an effort to help you identify them more easily.

1. They are more concerned with their own needs than the well-being of others

Selfish people have a hard time caring about anyone but themselves. They’re not just being rude when they don’t care, it’s genuinely impossible for them to prioritize someone else’s needs over their own.

People who are selfish can be abrasive and uncomfortable to interact with because of this. If you find that your friends or family members are selfish, it’s important to make some space between you and those people.

2. They use manipulation to get what they want

Selfish people will do anything and everything in order to achieve their goals. Manipulation can take many forms, but no matter the form it takes, it’s always a sign of selfishness.

Selfish people are willing to say whatever is necessary when the situation calls for it; this means that they’ll often lie or change the truth, just to get what they want.

3. They value material acquisition

Selfish people are all about the pursuit of wealth and power. Material acquisition can mean different things for different people, but it’s always a sign that someone is looking out for themselves above everyone else.

They’ll take advantage of others in order to get what they want: this might be as simple as lying or taking something from someone without permission, but it might also be as complicated and dangerous as a criminal act.

4. They self-promote

Selfish people are always looking out for themselves, which means that they have to be in the spotlight. Self-promotion is a sign of selfishness because it’s all about getting attention and recognition without caring whether or not someone else has received any type of credit before them.

These types of people also want to receive all the praise for their accomplishments and will often take credit even when they didn’t do anything. Self-promotion is an easy way to spot a selfish person, but it’s not always obvious because these people might hide this characteristic from others.

5. They lack empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It’s important because it makes us more social beings, but selfish people are incapable of feeling this emotion for others.

This means that they’ll never miss their own interests over someone else’s; no matter what situation arises, you can be sure that they’ll prioritize their needs over someone else’s.

Selfish people are unable to feel the compassion for others that most of us can, which makes them completely intolerable in many social situations. They might not seem selfish all the time because they’re adept at hiding this characteristic from those around them, but don’t let yourself get fooled by a clever manipulator.

6. They’ll usually do anything to get what they want

Selfish people don’t care about doing anything that could be deemed morally wrong in order to gain some sort of personal benefit. This might mean lying or stealing; it also might involve more serious crimes like physical assault, theft and robbery, fraud, etc.

It’s important to note that selfish people will do whatever they can get away with as long as they get what they want. They’re not going to care about the consequences for anyone else, which means that it’s up to you if you want to continue interacting with a selfish person or cut them out of your life altogether.

7. They tend to be unkind

Selfish people don’t care about others’ feelings and needs, which means that they’ll often be inconsiderate of the emotions felt by an individual.

It might not always seem like someone is selfish because there are plenty of times when a person can act selflessly for others without being aware that they’re doing it, but those who are selfish don’t care about anyone else. This means that they’re not afraid to be unkind, rude, or disrespectful in order to get what they want.

Selfish people might also do things like insult someone’s intelligence or appearance just for fun because it makes them feel better than the other person; this is an especially dangerous characteristic because it makes them even more difficult to be around.

8. They tend to be self-absorbed

Selfish people are so focused on themselves that they become completely oblivious to what’s happening around them. Self-absorption is a hard characteristic for anyone, but it becomes especially dangerous when someone has power or authority over others.

When an individual with this personality trait holds any type of position where they have control over other’s lives, they’re likely to abuse their power and misuse it.

9. They don’t care about consequences

Selfish people are reckless and impulsive, which means that they’re not going to consider the possible outcomes of their actions.

This is one of the most dangerous characteristics because it’s difficult for anyone else to predict what a selfish person might do next; even if someone does know them well, there will still be times when they’re not sure what this person is capable of.

This means that it’s difficult for anyone to have any type of control over selfish people because if you try and assert your power, there’s no telling how the other person will react or respond. It might seem like some sort of balance can be established between a selfless individual and a selfish person, but it’s not something that will ever work.

10. They don’t feel sorry or remorseful

Selfish people don’t feel guilt, regret, or remorse for the bad things they’ve done. This means that if you apologize to them and try to make amends, there’s no guarantee that this person will accept your apology.

It also doesn’t mean that a selfish person won’t be able to understand why what they did was wrong or hurtful to you, but they won’t be sorry for the pain that they’ve caused.

11. They have a sense of entitlement and expect everything to go their way

Selfish people feel that they deserve anything and everything, which means that it’s difficult for them to accept when things don’t go their way.

They might be self-absorbed at the moment, but this doesn’t mean that a selfish person won’t take any responsibility or ownership of what happens if there are consequences; they’ll just make sure that they don’t get in trouble or suffer any negative consequences.

Final Thoughts

The list of characteristics that make up the personality of a selfish person is not exhaustive. However, it does give you a good idea of how to spot someone who only cares about themselves and will do anything necessary to get ahead without regard for others.

If you want your life or business to go well- consider following some of these tips for recognizing self-centered people so they don’t take advantage of you.

What is selfishness in reality and how to deal with it

The word "egoist" is translated as "I am." Selfish behavior is manifested everywhere - in gestures, speech, appearance, actions, and also leaves an imprint on professional activities. An egoist seeks exclusively for his own benefit and benefit.

What does selfishness mean in simple terms

In psychology, egoism is a natural human need, formed in the process of evolution. The difference is only in scale, so modern experts distinguish 2 forms of egoism - moderate and extreme.

Selfishness is still one of the least studied personality traits.

Extreme egoists behave consumerly with others, including even relatives. They are unable to assess the consequences of their own actions, and their relationships with family and loved ones are more like parasitism.

Attention! According to Wikipedia, the pursuit and upholding of one's own benefit is considered to be an extreme form of selfishness. Moreover, a person can help another if it will benefit him personally.

Types of selfishness

There are many varieties of selfishness:

hidden and obvious;
female and male;
post-traumatic;
age;
intellectual;
altruistic.

An obvious egoist lives according to the principle “I am the center of the universe, I demand submission and admiration.” The hidden egoist is more difficult to define, as he makes others feel pity: “I am a victim, and I suffer. Only an enemy worthy of universal condemnation can not support me.

A hidden form of egoism often suffers from:

children who fake tantrums;
the elderly, especially the unhealthy and weak;
irresponsible individuals.

Hidden selfishness is, in fact, a way of manipulation. After all, it does not cause aggression and desire to resist an assertive opponent. That is why a selfish person who hides painful self-esteem from others uses them very skillfully in his own interests.

The American philosopher J. Rose in his book "Theory of Justice" describes 3 types of selfishness in life:

No.	Attitude towards oneself and others, life credo	definition
one	Everyone owes me	All members of society serve the interests of one person
2	I do not owe anything to anyone	The individual pursues only his own benefit, ignoring social norms and violating prohibitions.
3	No one owes nothing to nobody	Everyone acts in their own interests and does not recognize rules, restrictions

An individual can behave selfishly in order to protect himself, maintain a standard of living and self-affirmation. The selfishness of self-defence is a basic instinct given by nature. Even the most balanced and intelligent people can turn into crazy savages in a situation that threatens their life and health. Everyone has seen how, during natural disasters and natural disasters, a stampede is created at the exits, and the distraught crowd runs, sweeping away everything and everything in its path.

How egoists behave: typical traits

The egoist always, under any circumstances, strives to satisfy his own needs and does not take into account the interests of other people. He doesn't care if anyone gets hurt because of his actions. However, it is not always easy to recognize an egoist, as he is well disguised.

You can recognize an egoist if you pay attention to a number of characteristic manifestations. Selfish behavior includes:

a tendency to blame others for one's own mistakes and failures;
100% certainty that you are right;
inability to listen to the interlocutor;
boasting;
attempts to manipulate others;
demonstration of material well-being;
indestructible desire to be in the center of attention;
evaluating people by "status" - wealth, success, level of intelligence.

You can call a person an egoist if you have at least 3 of the above signs. 1-2 manifestations are not enough, because each of us can periodically “turn on the egoist” in different situations.

Book an online consultation if you are regularly accused of being selfish and you are desperate to win back the favor of others. Our psychologists will tell you how to get rid of selfishness, cultivate responsiveness and generosity. Consultations are conducted remotely, by phone, around the clock.

Selfishness Quick Guide

In psychology, there are many ways to become less selfish if you really think your point of view is the best and hate helping others. Such a character trait as selfishness can be corrected, but this will take some time.

1 - ask for help

The value orientation of the individual to selfishness makes it difficult to admit mistakes and ask for help from others. Admit that you too have weaknesses, and don't be shy to ask for help from family and friends. Thus, you make it clear that in some way these people are superior to you.

2 - know how to thank

Gratitude is a powerful creative feeling that fills a person with positive energy. It not only teaches to appreciate everything that life gives, but also helps to distinguish one's own from someone else's. After all, selfish natures often consider as their own what does not belong to them. Due to the lack of sincere appreciation, conflicts and misunderstandings often arise.

Case study:

After the birth of a child, Larisa often asked her mother to sit with him. But she took the help for granted and did not say “thank you”. Such a consumer attitude did not suit the mother, and the selfish daughter in response accused her of not loving her granddaughter.

If the daughter were grateful to her mother for her help and returned kindness for kindness, then a common problem would unite them, strengthening their family ties.

Start thanking people for everything they do for you. Try to notice the good that is in your life thanks to relatives and friends. Do not skimp on kind words, share positive emotions.

Sign up for an online consultation if you find it difficult to subdue your egoistic qualities. Our psychologists will listen to you and outline the main points that you should pay attention to. We consult around the clock by phone.

3 - learn to compromise

When your interests do not coincide with others, look for a middle ground. Then everyone will be able to satisfy their needs and will not feel deprived.

For example, your child wants to go to a ski resort, and you dream of a beach holiday by the sea. Then just choose a country where there are both mountains and sea.

It is worth considering the scale of your own and others' needs. In practice, it looks like this: your husband plans to watch the final of the Boxing World Cup, and another episode of your series is on another channel at that time. The husband is a passionate fan of boxing, and he cannot miss a sporting event. Thus, the need of your second half is greater, so it is worth giving in to him.

Attention! When it comes to dealing with a group of people, it is important to hear everyone's opinion. So it's easier to come to a common denominator. Otherwise, they act as the majority decides.

FAQ

What are the benefits of natural selfishness?

When selfish needs are a priority, a person receives at least a double benefit. Firstly, he achieves his goals faster and easier, since he is not influenced by public opinion and does not follow the lead of relatives and friends. He acts boldly, not worrying about hurting anyone. A selfish attitude to life leaves no room for doubt when it is necessary to refuse someone. The ability to say “no” is one of the main character traits of an egoist.

What is included in the concept of "correct egoism"?

In short, a person with a healthy sense of selfishness pursues his own interests first, but he considers the opinions of other people. This means that he respects the wishes of the opponent, but does not change his principles either. A “reasonable” egoist is always ready to compromise and come to a mutual agreement.

How do I know how selfish I am?

There are signs of an egoist in this article (see content). You can also take an online screening test by answering a few questions, or call our psychologists.

Why do people do selfish things?

Selfishness is, in essence, a consequence of improper upbringing. Selfish children grow up most often in families with an authoritarian or, conversely, too democratic style of upbringing. If parents do not see a personality in a child, do not teach independence and responsibility, he will almost certainly become a capricious egoist. Excessive guardianship and lack of attention can also lead to this result.

Expert opinion

Everyone has selfishness within reasonable limits. It is natural for people to take care of themselves and their loved ones, because this is inherent in nature itself. But sometimes selfishness takes hypertrophied forms: a person gets hung up on himself and does not take into account the interests of others at all.

What can be done here? In short, it is necessary to develop adequate self-esteem and get rid of selfishness. Develop an understanding of your own importance without exaggerating it. Review your habitual scenarios of superiority in relationships with loved ones. Communicate with everyone on an equal footing, respect the opinions of others. In severe cases, contact a psychologist.

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Article author

Monakhova Albina Petrovna clinical psychologist

Experience 17 years

Consultations 1439

Articles 292

Specialist in clinical psychology. Help in finding tools for self-realization, working out beliefs, fears and anxieties. Work with self-attitude, internal boundaries, understanding of interaction with society through conscious personal changes.

2007 - 2008 MUS Children's polyclinic No. 4 - teacher psychologist
2008 - 2009Healthy Country LLC - Clinical Psychologist
2009 - 2021 Republican Narcological Dispensary - psychologist
2012 - 2013 Occupational medicine - psychologist
2013 - 2015 LLC Vozrozhdenie - psychologist
2019 to present Teledoctor24 LLC - psychologist

What is selfishness really and how to deal with it

What does selfishness mean in simple terms

In psychology, egoism is a natural human need, formed in the process of evolution. The difference is only in scale, so modern experts distinguish 2 forms of egoism - moderate and extreme.

Selfishness is still one of the least studied personality traits.

Types of selfishness

There are many varieties of selfishness:

hidden and obvious;
female and male;
post-traumatic;
age;
intellectual;
altruistic.

An obvious egoist lives according to the principle “I am the center of the universe, I demand submission and admiration. ” The hidden egoist is more difficult to define, as he makes others feel pity: “I am a victim, and I suffer. Only an enemy worthy of universal condemnation can not support me.

A hidden form of egoism often suffers from:

children who fake tantrums;
the elderly, especially the unhealthy and weak;
irresponsible individuals.

The American philosopher J. Rose in his book "Theory of Justice" describes 3 types of selfishness in life:

No.	Attitude towards oneself and others, life credo	definition
one	Everyone owes me	All members of society serve the interests of one person
2	I do not owe anything to anyone	The individual pursues only his own benefit, ignoring social norms and violating prohibitions.
3	No one owes nothing to nobody	Everyone acts in their own interests and does not recognize rules, restrictions

How egoists behave: typical traits

You can recognize an egoist if you pay attention to a number of characteristic manifestations. Selfish behavior includes:

a tendency to blame others for one's own mistakes and failures;
100% certainty that you are right;
inability to listen to the interlocutor;
boasting;
attempts to manipulate others;
demonstration of material well-being;
indestructible desire to be in the center of attention;
evaluating people by "status" - wealth, success, level of intelligence.

You can call a person an egoist if you have at least 3 of the above signs. 1-2 manifestations are not enough, because each of us can periodically “turn on the egoist” in different situations.

Selfishness Quick Guide

1 - ask for help

2 - know how to thank

Case study:

If the daughter were grateful to her mother for her help and returned kindness for kindness, then a common problem would unite them, strengthening their family ties.

Start thanking people for everything they do for you. Try to notice the good that is in your life thanks to relatives and friends. Do not skimp on kind words, share positive emotions.

3 - learn to compromise

When your interests do not coincide with others, look for a middle ground. Then everyone will be able to satisfy their needs and will not feel deprived.

For example, your child wants to go to a ski resort, and you dream of a beach holiday by the sea. Then just choose a country where there are both mountains and sea.

FAQ

What are the benefits of natural selfishness?

What is included in the concept of "correct egoism"?

How do I know how selfish I am?

There are signs of an egoist in this article (see content). You can also take an online screening test by answering a few questions, or call our psychologists.

Why do people do selfish things?

Expert opinion

We publish only verified information

Article author

Monakhova Albina Petrovna clinical psychologist

Experience 17 years

Consultations 1439

Articles 292

Specialist in clinical psychology.

Learn more