Tips for dating an introvert

How To Date An Introvert When You’re An Extrovert, According To Experts


by Natalia Lusinski

BDG Media, Inc.

When it comes to dating, you may seek out someone who’s similar to you in both personality and character. However, what happens when you’re an extrovert and they’re an introvert, or vice-versa? If you don’t understand the intricacies of each personality type, you may have more conflict in your relationship than is necessary. So, it’s best to know how to date an introvert in order to avoid potential personality clashes.

“Introverts and extroverts can create beautifully balanced, whole, and healthy partnerships together,” Lisa Olivera, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Oakland, CA, tells Bustle. “It takes honoring each other’s needs and learning about how you each best function in the world.” She also thinks it requires practicing patience.

“With the right tips and understanding, blending these two personality traits can lead to wonderful relationships,” she says.

However, to get to that level of understanding with one another, Olivera suggests learning what type of extrovert you are, as well as what type of introvert your partner is. One way to do so is through the Meyers-Briggs test so you can figure out your personality type. You can either do the test online or with someone like a therapist. “When we not only learn about ourselves, but also about our partner, we gain a better sense of how we work as individuals,” she says. “In turn, we learn how we can support our partner based on their traits and natural ways of being in the world.”

That said, here are more tips for dating an introvert if you’re an extrovert, according to experts.


Be Supportive

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If you’re an extrovert, a full-on people person who gets more energy around others versus alone, it may be difficult to acknowledge that your introvert partner is not wired the same way. “By understanding what our partner needs in order to function well as a human, we can do things to support them,” Olivera says. She says this may include giving them space alone, asking if they want support, and reminding them you are there for them.

“Furthemore, you can offer to partake in activities together or separately, such as taking different cars so that each person’s needs can be met,” Olivera says.


Don’t Judge Them

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Dan Neuharth, PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, founder of, and author of If You Had Controlling Parents: How to Make Peace with Your Past and Take Your Place in the World, says it’s best not to be judgmental. “Try not to judge or change the other person — introverted and extroverted tendencies are often set at birth,” he tells Bustle. “Instead, appreciate what the other person *does* offer. Introverts can offer extroverts the opportunity to slow down, reflect, self-soothe and increase introspection. Extroverts can offer introverts the opportunity to try new experiences, meet new people, and grow in new ways.


Respect Their Preferences & Don’t Take Them Personally

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If you haven’t dated an introvert before, you may take it personally when they need space or alone time. But you shouldn't. On top of which, every introvert is different, so one may need more alone time than another. “Respect your partner’s preferences while also respecting your own,” Olivera says. “For example, if you are extroverted and want to attend a party, but your introverted partner is feeling drained, have a conversation about meeting your socializing needs, but also fulfilling their needs of wanting to stay home.”

She stresses that if your introverted partner needs time for themselves, respect that need by not taking it personally. “The more partners can practice recognizing and honor the needs of their partners AND themselves, the more satisfied and fulfilling their relationship will be,” Olivera says.

Dr. Dan thinks so, too. “Introverts need alone time and quiet time, but this doesn’t mean they don’t want you,” he says. He recommends letting them recharge in their own way. “If you’re an introvert, it’s OK to say to your partner, ‘I am overstimulated and need some quiet time.’ Similarly, an extrovert can say, ‘I am restless and need more stimulation.’ How else can two people with such different personality styles know how the other is feeling unless they tell each other?”


Have A Safe Word (Or Phrase)

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Adam C. Earnheardt, Ph.D., Chair and Professor of the Department of Communication at Youngstown State University is an extrovert and has been with his introvert wife for more than 20 years. Keeping lines of communication open is important, he says, which is something that may be a little difficult for new couples. “The trick for me has always been to listen to my wife’s needs about crowded spaces and public events,” he tells Bustle. “It took me a while to learn, but it’s actually physically and emotionally draining for her to be ‘on’ for other people, as it is for most introverts.”

Their solution? Having a safe word. “When we’re out in public, and she’s feeling overwhelmed by people and conversations, she’ll use our predetermined ‘excuse’ for bolting,” he says. He says after dating an introvert for a while, you might not need a safe word. “Instead, you simply pick up on the nonverbal cues, or that ‘look’ your partner gives, and you know it’s time to pack it in for the night,” Dr. Earnheardt says.


Don’t Be Afraid Of Their Silence

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Extroverts usually don’t love silence, but it’s often an introvert’s best friend. “Extroverts like it when introverts express enthusiasm and gratefulness, so extroverts may interpret silence as disapproval or a lack of enthusiasm,” Dr. Dan says. “But introverts often need more time than extroverts to mull over important issues. Try not to let this frustrate you.”


Highlight Your Introverts Partner’s Strengths

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There are strengths to being both an introvert and an extrovert, and it helps to remind yourself of your partner’s strengths. “For example, if you admire your partner’s ability to be in solitude without feeling lonely, point it out to them,” Olivera says. “Similarly, they may recognize how great you are at being around groups of people without getting depleted.”

She says that when you highlight differences as strengths instead of barriers, the differences becomes less important. “Instead, the recognition of our partner and their needs becomes the focus,” she says. “From this space, relationships can flourish and grow in a healthy and supportive way.”


You May Have To Ask Them Questions More Often Than Not

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As an extrovert, you probably have no issue with talking to your partner nonstop, about everything and anything, sharing your deepest, darkest feelings. However, that may not be the case when it comes to how your introverted significant other communicates with you. “Many introverts share more in response to questions rather than volunteering their thoughts, so ask away,” Dr. Dan says. “And, by allowing an introvert time, you are more likely to get deeper and more authentic responses than if you apply pressure.”



Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

Whether or not you’re dating an introvert, compromising in relationships is key, and Dr. Dan suggests maximizing ways to do so with your introverted partner. “Seek compromise,” he says. “For example, take two cars (or Ubers or Lyfts) to social gatherings. This will allow the introvert to leave early if desired, which is better than not going at all. Look for win-wins.”

Dr. Earnheardt also thinks compromising is essential. “As extroverts, the activities we choose on dates can’t always be about us,” he says. “So be cognizant of the activities you suggest to your introverted date, being sure to pick an activity they’ll enjoy, like a hike in the park, a quiet dinner at your apartment, or talking about a book you’ve both just read. On the flip side, I promise, the right ever-observant introverted partner will see the effort you’re making and pay it back.”


Have Couples Time

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No matter how much your introvert partner values their solitude, it’s also important that you continue to spend time together. “Make sure to make couples time,” Dr. Dan says. “Extroverts may need to do social things on their own just as introverts may need alone time. But don’t forget why you are together. Make time to give each other undivided attention.”

Dr. Earnheardt agrees, adding that it’s good if you and your introverted partner know what leads to intimacy. He says that while extroverts thrive in parties and public settings, meeting new people and experiencing new things, introverts see these activities as energy drains, sometimes to the point of near exhaustion. “Unfortunately, as extroverts, we don’t always think to talk about those potential energy drains with our partners,” he says. But he adds that talking about those limits may lead to great satisfaction as a couple.

“Plus, spending time alone as a couple, in quiet spaces, tend to be less physically, mentally, and emotionally demanding, and can lead to a greater levels of intimacy.”

As you can see, there are many ways to navigate an extrovert-introvert relationship. “I really think these kinds of pairings are best suited for long-term relationship success,” Dr. Earnheardt says. “All it takes a lot of good conversation and negotiation.” Of course, the bottom line is, communication is everything, and the sooner you master the communication style you and your introverted partner have, the better, though it may take some practice, which is completely OK.

15 Awesome Tips To Consider Before Dating An Introvert

Dating an introvert is not as difficult as you have assumed it to be. This shy and sweet person can make a good partner owing to their sensitive and intuitive nature. So, if you have fallen for an introvert, there is absolutely nothing to worry about.

As someone who has only dated extroverts, it is common to have certain apprehension about dating someone quiet, independent, and solitary. But remember, introversion is a highly misunderstood concept, and wrong notions can be easily ignored.

As introverts control their emotions and words, you may have to take the initiative in many things. For example, they may not even open up about their feelings and shy away from proposing to you. So, it is important to understand how an introvert thinks and act accordingly.

In this article, we have listed the 15 best steps to understand an introvert better and make your relationship with the person a smooth and memorable journey. Keep reading!

In This Article

15 Tips For Dating An Introvert

1. You Can Make The First Move If They Don’t

There is a relatively fine line between shyness and introversion – but a necessary one.

While introversion is a personality type, shyness is an emotion. Though not all introverts are shy, some definitely are. However, introversion and shyness overlap for some people, giving rise to the stereotypical notion that introverts are shy.

Shy introverts may not feel comfortable approaching someone to chat or ask out for a date. Often, they tend to make eye contact from across the room or smile at you without saying anything. If the introvert you are currently crushing on is doing these things, it can be a good indication of their interest in you.

Don’t discount the subtle signs when dealing with an introvert. Sometimes, an introvert may even attempt to approach someone they are interested in but then end up feeling awkward.

So, what if you are interested in an introvert who gives you subtle signs but never attempts to talk to you? As the more extroverted person, you can approach them first and start a conversation. Observe their body language while they are talking to you. Do they seem comfortable? Are they smiling a lot?

If your conversation is flowing smoothly and they seem genuinely interested, you can ask them out for a date. However, if they don’t seem comfortable talking to you, take that as a cue and make a graceful exit.

Stylecraze Says

Talking face-to-face with an introvert may seem confrontational and make them feel uncomfortable. Instead, you can talk to them while doing some activity like cooking or shopping to make it easier for them to open up.

2. Accept Them For Who They Are

In our society, extroversion is often treated as the default personality trait, and introverts are made to feel as if there is something wrong with them for not wanting to party all night or hang out with friends at a club.

Many extroverts make the mistake of trying to change their introverted partner instead of accepting them for who they are. Remember – if you have chosen to date an introvert, learn to appreciate them for their unique qualities instead of attempting to mold them into someone they are not.

Introverts and extroverts can form beautiful partnerships, with each partner complementing the other. While the extrovert can provide the introvert more opportunities to meet new people or try new things, the introvert can help the extrovert develop a new love for reading books or pursue a new hobby.

3. Understand What Their Definition Of Hanging Out Is


One of the main traits of an introvert is the need to spend lots of time alone. While some introverts may enjoy socializing and partying to an extent, many others choose to spend more time in solitude or chill with just a friend or two.

If you love to dance all night in the disco or catch a movie every weekend with a group of friends, it is natural for you to assume that your partner may enjoy the same things. However, introverts differ in the ways they connect with their loved ones. Just because your latest crush has declined your invitation to a big party doesn’t necessarily mean that they are not interested in you. They may just not like big parties!

In such scenarios, you can have a direct conversation with your crush and discuss options you both enjoy. For example, while they do not want to attend a big party with too many people, they may be happy attending a small and cozy get-together at home with a few close friends.

4. Be Supportive

Introverts and extroverts have different ways of replenishing their energy levels. Just like you need to be surrounded by friends and family to feel a surge of emotional energy, introverts must get their daily dose of solitude. As an extrovert who loves being around people all the time, it can be difficult to understand your introverted partner’s need for solitude.

However, supporting their need to be alone is important for your relationship to flourish. In fact, it becomes even more crucial if they are the type of introvert that struggles to express their needs and wants. While they recharge their batteries in solitude, you can go out and watch a movie and have lunch with your pals.

5. Give Them Time To Open Up


Let us get this clear – many introverts have great communication skills. They may be holding high-profile leadership positions in their workplaces. However, when it comes to matters of the heart, some introverts tend to feel awkward and nervous.

Unlike an extrovert who tends to wear their heart on their sleeve, introverts tend to be more guarded about their feelings. They may hang out with you and communicate a lot over the phone or through texts, but introverts still need more time to open their hearts and reveal their true feelings to you.

As a result, you should be patient if you are currently dating an introvert. Establish honest and open communication with them and give them time to open up.

6. Get Comfortable With Texting


We all know someone who never calls us back or picks our calls but puts in great effort to keep in touch by texting regularly. If you love having long phone conversations or video calls, you may find it irritating to communicate mainly through texts.

Although the evidence for this is largely anecdotal, introverts prefer texting over talking on the phone or via a video call. If you are an extrovert dating an introvert, you may have to get more comfortable with texting to keep your communication with your sweetheart free-flowing.

Related: 18 Reasons Why He Isn’t Texting You Back

However, it is also important to note that introverts are of many types, and some may enjoy long phone calls. Moreover, as you and your partner get to know each other better, they will surely get more comfortable talking to you over the phone.

7. Work Towards Finding A Balance

For any relationship to work, both partners need to communicate openly with each other and find fun and enjoyable things to do together.

As an extrovert, you probably enjoy watching the latest movie with a bunch of friends and traveling to new places to explore tourist attractions. Friday nights for you mean hitting a bar with your colleagues to unwind after a hectic week of work.

On the other hand, your introverted partner’s idea of a fun weekend could be reading a novel while relaxing with a mug of hot chocolate. They may also enjoy tending to the garden on a sunny Saturday morning.

Since your hobbies and interests are likely to differ, make honest communication a priority and work towards balancing your need to socialize with their need for solitude.

8. Resolve Conflicts Amicably

Conflicts are natural and inevitable in any relationship. What is important is that you learn to resolve conflicts amicably. Extroverts and introverts deal with conflicts differently.

While introverts first want to think about the issue at hand in private before discussing it with their partner, extroverts are more likely to want to confront the issue right then and there. This difference in approach to conflict resolution may further intensify the ongoing tension if not dealt with healthily.

As a couple, you can decide beforehand how to deal with conflicts. A good tip for dating an introvert is to take a break of 20 to 30 minutes after an argument. This gives the introvert time to think over the issue whilst also ensuring that the extrovert doesn’t have to wait too long to confront the problem.

Stylecraze Says

You and your partner can create a signal which lets you both know that you need a time-out. After your timeout, you can drop in a comforting text and check on your partner to see if they are ok and ready to talk about the issue calmly.

9. Define Your Needs

Any relationship can be truly meaningful and fulfilling to both parties only when the needs of each partner are being met. As extroverts and introverts, you may have very different needs to be addressed.

Being the more extroverted one in the relationship, you need to learn to respect your introverted partner’s need for solitude without compromising on your own need to socialize and interact with other people.

Express your needs to your partner in clear terms so that they understand your requirements. For instance, after spending one weekend relaxing at home eating takeout food, you can plan a fun get-together at your favorite cafe with a group of friends for the next weekend.

The trick is to ensure that neither of the partners is forced to compromise with their needs just because the other partner’s needs differ.

Related: Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her

10. Make Quality Time Count

When it comes to dating, extroverts love to spend as much time as possible with their partners. However, introverts may not want to spend each waking hour away from work with their partner.

But this doesn’t mean either person has to compromise when it comes to spending time together. Whenever you do meet, make sure that you two have a great time together.

Plan your dates in advance, incorporating elements that you are both likely to enjoy. If you want to see a movie on Friday, you can let them decide what to see. If another day your partner wants to stay home and order in, you get to pick the restaurant.

Putting away your mobiles and laptops whenever you are together is another key tip for dating an introverted man or woman. Try to spend as much time talking and laughing with one another so you can to make each and every moment count.

11. Explore New Interests And Hobbies Together


On the surface, it seems like introverts and extroverts are very different from each other – and in many ways, they are. However, if you are an extrovert who is in a relationship with an introvert, you both obviously have a few things in common that attracted you to each other.

Did you first meet while browsing through the science fiction section in a library? You two probably can join a local group of sci-fi lovers that meets over coffee once a month to discuss the latest releases in your favorite genre.

Or did you catch each other’s notice in a rally for animal rights? Why not volunteer as a couple at an animal shelter where you can help animals while getting to spend time with each other?

12. Understand Introverts Show Their Affection Differently


While some introverts are quite talkative and can openly express their affection for you, others tend to be more reserved in the romantic arena. But this doesn’t mean they don’t love you!

Many introverts tend to express their love through thoughtful gestures instead of grandiose statements or over-the-top acts of romance. When your introverted partner prepares a special lunch for you with your favorite dishes or surprises you with a piece of jewelry they caught you admiring in a store, it means they love you and want to make you happy. Small, sweet gestures mean a lot to introverts.

13. Acknowledge Your Differences

No two people are alike. But the differences can be even more pronounced when you are an extrovert and your partner is an introvert. Building a successful relationship with someone requires both parties to acknowledge their differences.

Dating an introvert is hard because, as much as you wish, your partner cannot change for you. At the same time, you should not attempt to change yourself in order to appease them.

Instead, it is better to respect them for who they are while staying true to yourself as well. Focus on building mutual understanding and respect while acknowledging that you are two different individuals with their own unique characteristics.

14. Don’t Misinterpret Their Silence

While extroverts are known to be more talkative and expressive, introverts are more thoughtful and tend to speak less. But be careful not to interpret their silence as anything more than a personality trait.

Your introverted partner’s love for silence has got nothing to do with their level of commitment to you – it is just how they are wired. As long as they maintain open and honest communication with you, there is no need to worry about their occasional silence. Just accept the fact that your partner is not a big-time talker!

15. Understand It Is Perfectly Fine To Have Separate Social Lives

During the initial weeks of dating someone new, it is natural to want to spend all your waking hours either with your partner or texting or calling them when you are not together.

However, as the relationship progresses, it is perfectly fine to pursue separate social lives in addition to the time you spend together. This is especially significant in relationships between introverts and extroverts.

Socializing is as important to extroverts as solitude is to introverts. You can have fun going for a weekend hike with your outdoorsy friends while your partner calls over their introverted best friend for a home-cooked meal and a heart-to-heart chat.

Related: Dating After 60: Rules, Advice, And Common Mistakes

At first, it might seem concerning for an extrovert to date an introvert, but you may rest assured that you have nothing to worry about. Extroverts and introverts have many obvious differences in their likes and preferences, but you could build a beautiful relationship once you work out a balance. What is important is to avoid any sort of judgments and biases and, at the same time, to listen to the other person actively. This means observing the other’s body language, tone of voice, and perceiving the emotions. Paying attention only to the words would mean putting an unconscious limitation to the quality of the relationship itself.

The key is to respect your differences, honestly express your needs, and accept your partner for who they are. Spend time together indulging in common interests and getting to know each other. Introverts may take time to open up but be patient, and your relationship will be fulfilling and rewarding.

Frequently Asked Questions

Are introverts slow in relationships?

Possibly. Introverts tend to guard their feelings and take time to open up. This may lead the relationship to move slowly and tenderly.

Are introverts better in relationships?

Can’t say. There’s no proof suggesting that introverts are better (or not) at relationships than extroverts. However, they value a slow process of building trust, spending time together, and being introspective, which makes the relationship worthwhile.

Do introverts prefer being single?

Possibly. It isn’t very easy for introverts to maintain an intensely close relationship because they value their private space.

Are introverts clingy?

Possibly not. Introverts are naturally drawn to personal spaces to reflect, and they can sense when their partners require it as well. In these cases, they maintain an appropriate distance out of respect for their partner’s privacy.

Key Takeaways

  • Introversion is a personality type and is not the same as being shy.
  • While dating an introverted person, it’s important to observe their body language for subtle cues.
  • Introverts may take time to open up, but are usually honest in communicating and connecting with their person of interest.
  • Introverts and extroverts can beautifully complement each other as partners.

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How to make friends with others if you are a modest introvert

April 29, 2022 Relationship

Advice from psychologists will help you achieve your goal and not suffer.

1. Be yourself

Introverts need solitude and should not refuse it. It's okay if you don't want to be around other people all the time. Therefore, before looking for new friends, ask yourself, do you really need it? Maybe you just think that you should have more acquaintances - like everyone else? Or maybe you have imposed this point of view?

But if you really want to expand your social circle, first determine what kind of people you want to see next to you. Usually the most comfortable is with those who share your interests and outlook on life.

Therefore, you should focus on what fascinates you, find people with similar hobbies and let new acquaintances get to know themselves better, fall in love with who you really are.

2. Change not yourself, but your behavior

Personality traits are not easy to change, but you can sometimes try to behave differently. Psychologists have found that more extroverted behavior can have a positive effect on a person's well-being.

Try to have a quick word with a colleague in the office kitchen, accept an invitation to a party, leave a comment in a community on a social network. Track how you feel when you do unusual things. If you're uncomfortable, don't force yourself.

3. Don't be afraid that people won't like you right away

We often try to make a good first impression on people, we're afraid of disappointing them, and we think they might dislike us. But you don't have to worry about it. Experts from various US universities have proven that after meeting people like you much more than you think.

4. Say hello to people first

The advice may seem banal, but humble introverts are often embarrassed to say "hello" or look people in the eye. But it is these simple actions that show people that you are friendly. Therefore, do not be afraid to be the first to wave to someone and smile.

5. Use friendly body language

To gain self-confidence and improve interaction with people, try to show with your body that you are open to communication, advises Vanessa Van Edwards, writer, founder of The Science of People Lab, which studies human behavior.

Do not cross your arms over your chest as if in defense, keep your back straight. Smile and nod to encourage the other person and encourage them to continue the story.

6. Give yourself time

We only show ourselves as real when we feel comfortable with someone. But this takes time. And if you're uncomfortable with new friends at first, don't beat yourself up, says writer Jenn Granneman. The more time you spend with them, the more comfortable you will feel.

7. Be interested in people, ask questions

When we meet new people, we have to talk about ourselves, and every introvert is afraid of this. But the conversation doesn't have to be about you.

Jenn Granneman

Author of the book The Secret Life of Introverts. The art of survival in the "loud" world of extroverts.

Introverts have a superpower: to listen. So get the other person talking by asking them questions.

People love to talk about themselves and what they think. Give them a chance and occasionally answer their questions.

8. Use your strengths

Other people may like your character traits, behaviors, skills. Use it.

Study yourself, find out what you are good at. For example, you can be a great listener, compassionate and empathetic person, and your friends can count on your support and ability to keep secrets.

Your unique qualities may appeal to another introvert who recognizes you as a kindred spirit, or may complement the opposite traits of an extrovert.

9. Don't be afraid to try new things

If your current hobbies don't help you expand your social circle, look for new hobbies. You can start with what you have always been interested in: signing up for a dance class or a tour of your hometown, volunteering or participating in social events.

You don't need to talk to anyone for the first time if you feel uncomfortable. But if you like it, you can keep going to events and keep in touch with someone you've already met there.

We are often drawn to people with similar values ​​and experiences, but don't be afraid to meet people who are different from you. Communication with them will help expand your horizons or even change your outlook on the world.

10. Look at people you already know

You don't have to look for friends among strangers. The author of books about introverts, Sophia Dembling, suggests paying attention to others: one of them may turn out to be an interesting person with similar hobbies and outlooks on life.

Maybe your colleague loves the same music as you and would love to accompany you to a concert. Or he reads just as much and is willing to share his collection of interesting books. Or maybe your former classmate is actually an interesting girl with whom you can talk about everything in the world? Look at people!

11. Be a little more persistent

If you want to make friends with someone, don't be afraid to take a risk and take the first step, write, start a conversation.

Sofia Dembling

Author of books about introverts.

What seems intrusive to you may seem friendly to others. Our sensitivity can work for us or against us. Don't be so sensitive as to be afraid to take risks. Be empathetic enough to know if it's worth stepping aside.

And do not be afraid of awkwardness in communication if it arises at first. It does not characterize you or the other person in any way. It just happens at the beginning of a friendship.

12. Don't chase the number

Psychologists believe that it doesn't really matter how many friends you have. What matters is how they suit you. Because the quality of relationships with people directly affects the feeling of happiness and satisfaction with life.

It may be enough for you to have a strong relationship with your family and one friend, get along with your colleagues and, if necessary, maintain a polite conversation. And if you're comfortable with that, fine. In the end, it's better to have one but a good friend than to gather a crowd of acquaintances for whom you have neither time nor energy.

13. Practice communication, but don't overdo it

To improve your ability to interact with other people, communicate with them. However, you do not need to be socially active all the time. Don't spend too much time with your friends if it causes you stress.

14. Dive into a friendship routine

Many introverts love routine, so don't be afraid to ask friends to meet once a week at a specific time. For example, to dine on Saturday at your favorite restaurant or take a walk in the park on Tuesday after work.

Jenn Granneman

Author of The Secret Life of Introverts. The art of survival in the "loud" world of extroverts.

When we know what to expect, we feel more comfortable and use less energy. In addition, this way you won't have to come up with something new and interesting every time you get together.

15. Don't be upset if the friendship doesn't work out

It also happens that some relationships just don't work out, and that's okay. Sophia Dembling says: when friendship fails, there are no losers. Therefore, give up self-flagellation and continue the search for your man.

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  • How to be most productive if you are an introvert, extrovert or ambivert0111 How to manage a team if you are an introvert

Tips for introverts on how to make business connections and acquaintances

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As you know, connections are everything. And in the business world, you can't do without useful acquaintances. This is both the necessary information and help in a difficult situation. The ability to make connections is a necessary quality for business.

Rajiv Behira has been working in Silicon Valley for the past 7 years, leading marketers at various start-ups. He now leads a startup that has developed the Reflective software, which allows company employees to give and receive real-time feedback on a continuous basis. Like most top managers in Silicon Valley, Rajiv is an introvert, but he can teach how not only to keep up with sociable and active extroverts, but also bypass them in the number of business acquaintances. Three of his tips.

1. Focus on face-to-face communication with your manager

Extroverts, naturally sociable, are always ready to discuss their current job, goals and progress made with ease. They talk about it easily and openly, so managers usually know very well how productive they are. Silent introverts may seem less productive in comparison.

The ability of introverts to communicate in depth helps them quickly establish friendships with partners

Rajeev Behira invites introverts to use their strengths, such as the tendency to discuss problems in more depth, delving into details. Try to talk to your manager one-on-one for at least 5 minutes every day, telling you how the work is going. This not only allows you to convey your ideas to management, but also helps to build strong relationships with your immediate superiors.

Since it is often easier for introverts to talk one-on-one than to speak in front of colleagues, this tactic will help them become more "visible" to their managers.

“When communicating, the key is to actively share valuable thoughts and be clear about the work you do. Build a personal relationship with your manager outside of group meetings."

2. Focus on quality over quantity

Group meetings - conferences, congresses, symposiums, exhibitions - are an indispensable part of business life. And for many introverts, it seems heavy and uncomfortable. During group communication, an extrovert quickly moves from one person to another, communicating with each for a relatively short time, and introverts tend to have long conversations with a relatively small number of people.

Such long conversations can be the beginning of a friendship (and business) relationship that will last for years. An extrovert will return from a conference with a thick stack of business cards, but after a brief and superficial communication, at best, he will exchange a couple of emails with new acquaintances, and they will forget about each other.

Introverts are often asked for advice because they can synthesize information

Similarly, introverts form and maintain close relationships within a company. When an employee reaches a certain level in the hierarchy of an organization, he becomes part of a small team of closest colleagues.

However, it is useful to maintain relationships with employees working in other sectors and departments. So introverts ensure that they are well known inside the company, maybe not all employees, but those with whom personal contact is established, they know them really closely.

3.Synthesize information

It is always helpful if the boss has an additional source of information. For Rajiv Behira, colleagues with whom he has built a good personal relationship have become such a source. At meetings in their working groups, these employees synthesized information and conveyed the most important to him.

One of the strengths of introverts is their ability to process large amounts of information. At meetings, instead of talking a lot, they listen carefully and then retell the most important things to their manager. Due to this skill, they are often especially insightful, so they are often turned to for advice and involve them in the process as much as possible.

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