Home » Misc » The cure for a broken heart

The cure for a broken heart


How to Heal a Broken Heart: 10 Tips

Dana Bottari, LCSW, a psychotherapist based in Florida, says that at the start of a relationship, our thoughts tend to be happy and uplifting. “We may have felt good about ourselves — thoughts about the time our ex commented that we were beautiful or handsome or how much they loved us,” she says.

However, when the relationship ends, your thoughts may be mixed. “We have the positive messages that were given by our ex, combined with perhaps our own judgmental thoughts that we are not good enough or thoughts that things never work out for us,” explains Bottari.

Thoughts affect feelings, and feelings affect actions, she says. When you’re feeling down, you may engage in behaviors you typically don’t. For example, you may skip showering or avoid getting together with friends and family. “We may now feel more alone than ever,” Bottari says.

Gina Moffa, LCSW, a psychotherapist based in New York City, adds that the details and circumstances of a breakup determine how you feel.

“If you feel you’re leaving someone in a painful place after you end it, you may be ridden with guilt and sadness. If you’re the one who’s been broken up with, you may be in a state of shock and go through different phases of grief, including anger, bargaining, depression, and anxiety,” explains Moffa.

As you cope with the loss of a relationship, these tips may help you on your journey to healing.

1.

Take time to grieve

If possible, try to think of the loss of the relationship as a grieving process.

“Give yourself time. Do not try to find someone new right away,” says Bottari. “The best thing we can do is to try to honor our emotions and not judge our emotions.”

To validate your emotions, it may help you to reframe your thoughts. Instead of thinking, “I shouldn’t feel so sad,” Bottari recommends thinking, “I am experiencing feelings of sadness, and that’s OK.”

While some people take time to be alone, look inward, or see a therapist to work through the complicated emotions of a breakup, others may suppress painful feelings and jump into another relationship. “I don’t recommend that. We need time to heal what’s been shattered,” says Moffa.

“We need time to look within and take inventory of what patterns we may have taken into the relationship with us that no longer work. We need to tend to our wounded hearts and take the time to allow the healing to happen with time, care, gentleness, and deeper self-understanding,” she says.

2.

Find a new source of joy

When you make time for self-inquiry and self-reconnection, Moffa says that this can lead to connection with what may have once brought you peace, joy, or inspiration but was put on hold during your relationship.

“We may be more open to saying ‘yes’ to new things, people, and experiences as a way to explore a newfound sense of freedom, even if it hurts,” she says.

Bottari suggests pushing yourself to do things, even when you don’t feel like it. “Chances are, even after meeting a friend for lunch, you arrive home feeling better than had you stayed home,” she says.

3.

Make a list of what you like about yourself

When you are feeling low about yourself, consider making a list of all the good things you did for your past partner or all the qualities they liked about you — and the qualities you like about yourself.

For example, you might write a self-love list like this:

  • I made him coffee in the morning.
  • I picked her up from the train station when it rained.
  • I put on her favorite song when she was sad.
  • I reminded him about his dad’s birthday.

You may also find it helpful to write out a list of positive things you’ll do in future relationships.

If you’d rather not think about relationships, Bottari suggests searching the internet for self-affirmations that resonate with you, such as:

  • I am not my mistakes.
  • I am enough.
  • There is no wrong decision.

“Recite these when you are having negative or self-defeating thoughts,” Bottari says.

4.

Acknowledge thoughts about your former partner

When thoughts of your ex arise, try not to stop or block them. Instead, Bottari says, practice being a “witness” to these thoughts. When the thoughts come up, take a step back and acknowledge them.

“You know you are experiencing them; they are passing through your mind. You observe them. You practice observing and letting them go,” she explains.

“The minute you pay attention to one and label it as something ‘important,’ you are no longer witnessing them. You are now judging them. Judging brings more negative emotions since your expectations were not met.”

5.

Express your needs to others

If you’re not feeling up to meeting friends out or are having a hard time following through on commitments, try to share your feelings with others.

“Try to reconsider your needs at this time and let others know what you are dealing with,” says Bottari. “Many people have felt the same way and will understand that you might need some time to return to your normal state. ”

6.

Turn your attention toward others

When the pain of a breakup is too hard to bear, you may find that focusing on the needs of others can help bring feelings of wellbeing and distract you from focusing on yourself, explains Bottari.

Consider volunteering at a local soup kitchen or animal shelter, helping a friend in need with meals or cleaning, or cutting a neighbor’s grass.

7.

Allow emotions to flow

You may find it helpful to talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about emotions related to your breakup or ex-partner.

If you’re not comfortable sharing all of your feelings, consider writing them down or meditating on them. You can also engage in another project, such as painting, that may help you release what’s on your mind.

8.

Find relief in exercise and movement

Research shows that exercise can reduce stress. “Use exercise as a healthy outlet to manage feelings of anxiety, sadness, lethargy, and stress,” Bottari says.

A daily walk, bike ride, or online workout video are ways to work exercise into your daily routine when you’re feeling sad or stressed about the breakup.

9.

Avoid activities that remind you of your ex

If you continue to feel overwhelmed by unwanted thoughts and emotions, consider staying away from places, music, and people who remind you of your ex for a little while.

“Try to go places that make you feel safe. Surround yourself with people that care about you. Go places that you have never been. Take a day trip and explore,” suggests Bottari.

10.

Make meaning of the breakup

If possible, try to make meaning of the relationship ending, or accept that there’s no meaning to why it ended.

“Over time, you may come to realize that the end of your relationship was ultimately in your best interest. However, it is possible that you might not be able to find any positive in the relationship ending. Both are valid conclusions. Try to have faith and keep moving forward,” says Bottari.

A breakup can leave you feeling sad and alone, no matter who made the decision to split up. Cycling through a variety of feelings after a breakup is normal, especially if it was unexpected.

“We forget that we are meant to grow and change and learn. That doesn’t always happen at the same time or in the same way in a relationship,” says Moffa.

“Sometimes, one person changes and the other doesn’t. So, be gentle with yourself. You’re changing and growing and healing. We can’t do that all by force.”

Remember, it’s OK to not feel OK for a while. Give yourself time to process the loss of the relationship and practice self-compassion.

32 Tips for Moving Forward

We include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission Here’s our process.

Healthline only shows you brands and products that we stand behind.

Our team thoroughly researches and evaluates the recommendations we make on our site. To establish that the product manufacturers addressed safety and efficacy standards, we:

  • Evaluate ingredients and composition: Do they have the potential to cause harm?
  • Fact-check all health claims: Do they align with the current body of scientific evidence?
  • Assess the brand: Does it operate with integrity and adhere to industry best practices?

We do the research so you can find trusted products for your health and wellness.

Read more about our vetting process.

Heartbreak is a universal experience that comes with intense emotional anguish and distress.

While many people associate a broken heart with the end of a romantic relationship, therapist Jenna Palumbo, LCPC, emphasizes that “grief is complicated.” The death of a loved one, job loss, changing careers, losing a close friend — all of these can leave you brokenhearted and feeling like your world will never be the same.

There’s no way around it: healing a broken heart takes time. But there are things you can do to support yourself through the healing process and protect your emotional wellbeing.

It’s essential to look after your own needs after heartbreak, even if you don’t always feel like it.

Give yourself permission to grieve

Grief is not the same for everyone, says Palumbo, and the best thing you can do for yourself is to give yourself permission to feel all of your sadness, anger, loneliness, or guilt.

“Sometimes by doing that, you unconsciously give those around you permission to feel their own grief, too, and you won’t feel like you’re alone in it anymore.” You just might find that a friend’s gone through similar pain and has some pointers for you.

Take care of yourself

When you’re in the midst of heartbreak, it’s easy to forget to take care of your personal needs. But grieving isn’t just an emotional experience, it also depletes you physically. Indeed, research has shown that physical and emotional pain travel along the same pathways in the brain.

Deep breathing, meditation, and exercise can be great ways to preserve your energy. But don’t beat yourself up over it, either. Simply making an effort to eat and stay hydrated can go a long way. Take it slow, one day at a time.

Lead the way in letting people know what you need

Everyone copes with loss in their own way, says Kristen Carpenter, PhD, a psychologist in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Medicine at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center.

She advises being clear about whether you prefer to grieve privately, with the support of close friends or with a wide circle of people accessible through social networks.

Getting your needs out there will save you from trying to think of something in the moment, says Carpenter, and will allow someone who wants to be supportive to help you and make your life easier by checking something off your list.

Write down what you need (aka the ‘notecard method’)

How it works:

  • Sit down and make a list of what you need, including needs for tangible and emotional support. This could involve mowing the grass, grocery shopping, or simply talking on the phone.
  • Get a stack of notecards and write down one item on each card.
  • When people ask how they can help, hand them a note card or have them choose something they feel they can do. This relieves the pressure to articulate your needs on the spot when someone asks.

Go outdoors

Research has found that spending just 2 hours a week outdoors can improve your mental and physical health. If you can get out to some beautiful scenery, great. But even regular walks around the neighborhood can help.

Read self-help books and listen to podcasts

Knowing that others have gone through similar experiences and come out on the other side can may help you feel less alone.

Reading a book (we’ve got some recommendations later in this article) or listening to a podcast about your particular loss can also provide you with validation and be a supportive way for you to process your emotions.

Try a feel-good activity

Set aside time every day for doing something that feels positive, whether that’s journaling, meeting up with a close friend, or watching a show that makes you laugh.

Scheduling in moments that bring you joy is vital for healing a broken heart.

Seek professional help

It’s important to talk about your feelings with others and not numb yourself out. This is easier said than done, and it’s totally normal to need some extra help.

If you find that your grief is too much to bear on your own, a mental health professional can help you work through painful emotions. Even just two or three sessions can help you develop some new coping tools.

Share on Pinterest

After giving yourself some space to grieve and tending to your needs, start looking toward creating new routines and habits that can help you continue to process your loss.

Don’t try to suppress the pain

“Don’t waste energy on feeling ashamed or guilty about your feelings,” says Carpenter. Instead, “invest that energy in making concrete efforts to feel better and to heal.”

Consider giving yourself 10 to 15 minutes each day to acknowledge and feel your sadness. By giving it some dedicated attention, you may find it popping up less and less throughout your day.

Practice self-compassion

Self-compassion involves treating yourself with love and respect while not judging yourself.

Think of how you would treat a close friend or family member going through a hard time. What would you say to them? What would you offer them? How would you show them you care? Take your answers and apply them to yourself.

Create space in your schedule

When you are going through a difficult time, it can be easy to distract yourself with activities. While this can be helpful, make sure you’re still leaving yourself some space to process your feelings and have some down time.

Foster new traditions

If you’ve ended a relationship or lost a loved one, you may feel like you’ve lost a lifetime of traditions and rituals. Holidays can be particularly hard.

Allow friends and family to help you create new traditions and memories. Don’t hesitate to reach out for some extra support during major holidays.

Write it down

Once you’ve had some time to sit with your feelings, journaling can help you better organize them and give you a chance to unload any emotions that might be hard to share with others.

Here’s a guide to get you started.

Find a support system

Regularly attending or engaging in in-person or online support groups can provide a safe environment to help you cope. It’s also healing to share your feelings and challenges with those in similar situations.

Connect with yourself

Going through a big loss or change can leave you feeling a little unsure of yourself and who you are. You can do this by connecting to your body through exercise, spending time in nature, or connecting with your spiritual and philosophical beliefs.

Share on Pinterest

As you navigate the process of healing a broken heart, it’s helpful to have realistic expectations about the process. From pop songs to rom-coms, society can give a warped view of what heartbreak actually entails.

Here are a few things to keep in the back of your mind.

Your experience is valid

The death of a loved one is the more overt form of grief, Palumbo explains, but covert grief can look like the loss of a friendship or relationship. Or maybe you’re starting a new phase of your life by changing careers or becoming an empty nester.

Whatever it is, it’s important to validate your grief. This simply means recognizing the impact it’s had on your life.

It’s not a competition

It’s natural to compare your situation to that of others, but heartbreak and grieving aren’t a competition.

Just because it’s the loss of a friendship and not the death of a friend doesn’t mean the process isn’t the same, says Palumbo. “You’re relearning how to live in a world without an important relationship you once had.”

There’s no expiration date

Grief is not the same for everyone and it has no timetable. Avoid statements like “I should be moving on by now,” and give yourself all of the time you need to heal.

You can’t avoid it

As hard as it might feel, you have to move through it. The more you put off dealing with painful emotions, the longer it will take for you to start feeling better.

Expect the unexpected

As your grief evolves, so will the intensity and frequency of heartbreak. At times it will feel like soft waves that come and go. But some days, it might feel like an uncontrollable jolt of emotion. Try not to judge how your emotions manifest.

You’ll have periods of happiness

Remember that it’s okay to fully experience moments of joy as you grieve. Spend part of each day focusing on the present moment, and allow yourself to embrace the good things in life.

If you’re dealing with the loss of a loved one, this might bring up some feelings of guilt. But experiencing joy and happiness is crucial to moving forward. And forcing yourself to stay in a negative state of mind won’t change the situation.

It’s okay to not be okay

A profound loss, like the death of a loved one, is going to look vastly different from a job rejection, notes therapist Victoria Fisher, LMSW. “In both cases, it’s imperative to allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling and remember that it’s okay not to be okay.”

Even if you’re doing everything you can to work through your heartbreak, you’ll probably still have off days. Take them as they come and try again tomorrow.

Seek self-acceptance

Don’t expect your suffering to go away sooner than when it’s ready. Try to accept your new reality and understand that your grief will take some time to heal.

Share on Pinterest

When you’re dealing with heartbreak, books can be both a distraction and a healing tool. They don’t have to be big self-help books, either. Personal accounts of how others have lived through grief can be just as powerful.

Here are some titles to get you started.

Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar

Cheryl Strayed, author of the bestselling book “Wild,” compiled questions and answers from her formerly anonymous advice column. Each in-depth response offers insightful and compassionate advice for anyone who’s experienced a wide range of losses including infidelity, a loveless marriage, or death in the family.

Purchase online.

Small Victories: Spotting Improbable Moments of Grace

Acclaimed author Anne Lamott delivers profound, honest, and unexpected stories that teach us how to turn toward love even in the most hopeless situations. Just be aware that there are some religious undertones in her work.

Purchase online.

Love You Like the Sky: Surviving the Suicide of a Beloved

Psychologist and survivor of suicide Dr. Sarah Neustadter provides a roadmap navigating the complicated emotions of grief and turning despair into beauty.

Purchase online.

The Wisdom of a Broken Heart: How to Turn the Pain of a Breakup Into Healing, Insight, and New Love

Through her gentle, encouraging wisdom, Susan Piver offers recommendations for recovering from the trauma of a broken heart. Think of it as a prescription for dealing with the anguish and disappointment of a breakup.

Purchase online.

On Being Human: A Memoir of Waking Up, Living Real, and Listening Hard

Despite being nearly deaf and experiencing the debilitating loss of her father as a child, author Jennifer Pastiloff learned how to rebuild her life by listening fiercely and caring for others.

Purchase online.

The Year of Magical Thinking

For anyone who’s experienced the sudden death of a spouse, Joan Didion offers a raw and honest portrayal of a marriage and life that explores illness, trauma, and death.

Purchase online.

No Mud, No Lotus

With compassion and simplicity, Buddhist monk and Vietnam refugee Thich Nhat Hanh provides practices for embracing pain and finding true joy.

Purchase online.

How to Heal a Broken Heart in 30 Days: A Day-by-Day Guide to Saying Good-bye and Getting On With Your Life

Howard Bronson and Mike Riley lead you through recovering from the end of a romantic relationship with insights and exercises meant to help you heal and build resilience.

Purchase online.

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Through her heartfelt, honest storytelling, Brené Brown, PhD, explores how we can strengthen our connection to the world and cultivate feelings of self-acceptance and love.

Purchase online.

The hard truth of going through loss is that it can change your life forever. There will be moments when you feel overcome with heartache. But there will be others when you see a glimmer of light.

For some grief, as Fisher notes, “it’s a matter of surviving for a while until you gradually build a new, different life with an open space for the grief when it arises.”

Cindy Lamothe is a freelance journalist based in Guatemala. She writes often about the intersections between health, wellness, and the science of human behavior. She’s written for The Atlantic, New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, Quartz, The Washington Post, and many more. Find her at cindylamothe. com.

Love Charo. The best cure for a broken heart. Book review

Let me touch you with my breath.
And I will embrace your soul with my soul.
With my lips I will gently kiss your lips.
And I will be there, every day with you.

Let me love you, inhaling the smell of passion.
And feel your warmth in my arms.
Let me feel your heart beat.
And see happiness in colors, and in all colors.

Alesya Kovalenok

I want to share with you a light, romantic story written with humor and intrigue. Do you want to plunge into the bright atmosphere of entertainment in a world where magic exists, completely different - dangerous and not very. Where they play drakball with great enthusiasm and choose their soul mate.) As the poet said: "To see happiness in colors ..." Will the heroine of the novel be able to see her fate and catch her luck?

"The Best Cure for a Broken Heart" is an intriguing title of a novel written by a wonderful author of wonderful stories Lyubov Charo. The novel was written in a combination of the genres of humor, fantasy-love novel.

Do you want to dream and smile? All this you will find in the novel.

The reader will discover a world where everything starts with a simple fun idea, and ends with... Intrigue? Certainly! Nothing without her. Everything is just beginning...

The author has created a very interesting world with the magic police. Everything is described in bright colors - unusual and colorful.

Extravagance and secular independence. What else do you need young, attracting all the attention?

Natalia is the main character of the novel. A proud beauty with a flying gait, a socialite and the best intriguer. Brilliant character and unforgettable.

Silin is the best artist and enviable groom. And is he really like that?

Here everyone is for himself and you have to earn high marks for your skills.

Rylan - mage policeman. A mysterious and, it seems to me, an attention-grabbing character.

Selection of brides with unpredictable trials will make you read without stopping.

The Artifact of Hekzal will reveal the secret and make you wonder.

Spells, attempts... interesting tests await the reader. The detective line in the novel is twisted into a tight spiral that will unwind at the most inopportune moment.) I would say that this is a fantasy detective story with humor.

Relations between the characters of the novel develop gradually and, of course, everything will come to a climax.

Artistic magic - unforgettable and so insightful that the reader will be surprised by the virtuosity of the author's imagination. )

The plot of the novel is gently untwisted, very beautifully presented by the author to the reader. It seems that everything is wonderful and good, but suddenly the plot will flash brightly and will develop so rapidly that the reader will follow the incredible events in the novel with great interest. And there will be many of them. ) Attacks, magic traps... "Take off your masks, gentlemen!" - exposure of the villain and setup. What feelings will be hurt by the characters, getting into various situations? Very different.) Excitement, love, passion and disclosure of secrets.

I really liked the novel and the sun remained in my soul.) I advise everyone to open and read this romantic story.

Irina Danilova


90,000 Jackie Endenen - Litres Broken Heart Read Online Free

12 3 4 5 7 ... 32

Jackie Endhenen

9000 9000

Demanding Hidden Heir

© 2019 by Jackie Ashenden

Cure for a Broken Heart

© Centerpolygraph, 2020

© Translation and edition in Russian, "Centrpoligraph", 2020

Chapter 1

Enzo Cardinali was not one of the people who love parties, considering such a pastime a waste of time and an excuse to get drunk to a bestial state in order to behave later in the most disgusting way.

It's been an hour since he stood in the corner of the sumptuously furnished living room with an undrunk glass of whiskey and looked with displeasure at the richly dressed crowd of guests who were laughing, shouting and talking all sorts of nonsense.

Enzo felt like Henry St. George's social event was taking forever, and he was running out of patience. What can I say, it ended as soon as he crossed the threshold of this house.

He didn't like to wait, but since other people moved much more slowly, it seemed that he was only doing what he was waiting for. Which constantly pissed him off.

Dante's younger brother often said that Enzo needed to learn to be patient, but he did not share his opinion. He was not born to please others. If they can't keep up with him, that's their problem. Of course, in the end it became a problem for Enzo himself, which did not cause him much enthusiasm.

At first, he was going to send Dante to England to make a deal, but at the last minute he decided that he could not entrust such an important matter to his too careless brother. And here he is, visiting Henry St. George on his vast estate in the Cotswolds.

The owner of the house, a large industrial magnate, gravitated towards the old world receptions, where he concluded most of his transactions. Enzo had to put up with this state of affairs, because St. George, on top of everything, owned an island off the coast of Naples, which he desperately wanted to take possession of.

So far so good, as the old man almost agreed to sell the island. True, Enzo could not understand why Henry was delaying the final answer. Although the need to act nice and friendly, which was always very, very difficult for him, he cared a lot more. After all, he wanted to close the deal this weekend.

Enzo watched as Henry bowed his gray head, listening to every word of the woman he held by the arm, and shifted impatiently from foot to foot. God, it was unbearable. He was waiting for the right moment to pin St. George against the wall and voice his final offer, but he was constantly surrounded by people.

Dante asked Enzo to be polite, but let his brother go to hell with his advice.

Enzo dreamed of owning Isola Sacra because it was closest to Monte Santa Maria, the tiny island kingdom in the Adriatic that had once been his home. Before his father and Dante, being king, decided to usurp power, but the parliament decided that they had enough of the monarchy, proclaimed the state a republic and politely asked the royal family to get out of the island. Forever.

The Cardinals found a place for themselves on the mainland, in Milan, but this city never became Enzo's home. He was fifteen when their family was expelled from Monte Santa Maria, and since then he felt like a "man without roots."

He was once the heir to the kingdom. And then he was left with nothing.

And even the construction company that brought him multibillion-dollar profits could not compare with what he lost.

Enzo dreamed of a home. And since there was no way to return to the old one, he decided to find a new one for himself, in another place.

He looked nervously towards St. George again and decided that if he didn't finish talking to his lady in a couple of minutes, he would come up to him and announce his proposal. And to hell with politeness.

The stateless 15-year-old boy who sat huddled in a corner of a Milan apartment is a thing of the past. Enzo was now the CEO of a company with offices in major cities around the world.

Although he did not have his own state, but in terms of business, he was still the king.

Enzo's thoughts were interrupted by the sudden opening of a door at the other end of the room, and he looked in surprise at the small child's head poking through the crack.

It is strange that the baby has not yet been put to bed, because the time was approaching midnight.

When the boy, in blue pajamas and tousled hair, stepped into the room and looked around uncertainly, something about him seemed painfully familiar to Enzo.

It must have been the owner's son, his late child, because St. George was in his sixties. Four years ago, he married a woman almost half his age, and her pregnancy that followed so quickly after the wedding caused a slight sensation in the press.

Enzo was never interested in gossip and could not understand how he remembered this fact.

The boy took a few more steps forward, and Enzo noticed the unusual golden color of his eyes, like those of freshly minted coins, and his whole body tensed. After all, of all those whom he knew, only two people had such eyes: his father and himself. The golden color of the eyes was considered a family trait of the Cardinali, and in Monte Santa Maria, he traditionally testified to belonging to the royal family.

Enzo found this coincidence quite unexpected.

Then the door to the room opened a little wider, and a woman appeared on the threshold.

She wasn't wearing the chic haute couture evening dress and jewelery of the rest of the ladies, but plain jeans and a loose navy blue T-shirt. The stranger's hair, the color of copper, like a blazing flame against the twilight sky, was collected in a careless bun on the top of her head.

Seeing her, Enzo froze as if struck by thunder.

Learn more