Struggling to get out of bed depression
Can't Get Out of Bed From Depression? 11 Tips — Talkspace
It’s normal to occasionally feel overwhelmed, stressed, and down. Everyone feels blue and in a low mood to some extent at some point in their life. What’s not normal, however, is experiencing what feels like can’t get out of bed depression for a long period of time. This is a mental health problem that can affect your ability to take on the day. If you’re in that place right now and experiencing this type of depression, we’ve got some tips to help.
Depression can make the most basic, everyday tasks feel virtually impossible. If your morning depression is making everything from showering regularly to getting dressed in the mornings more difficult, you should know: you don’t have to be depressed in bed today.
Read on to learn more about how to get out of bed when depressed and miserable. These tips can be helpful in moving ahead and trying to manage your depression.
1.
Light TherapyResearch shows that light actually can help improve our mood. Light therapy has proven effective in treating depression symptoms, which is known to affect circadian rhythms and sleep cycles.
“Light therapy is an incredibly effective tool for individuals struggling with depression. The amount of comfort and energy sunlight affords us is huge. Light exposure boxes are great in allowing this to occur but nothing beats the power of the sun.”
Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC
You don’t even need a light box or any fancy, expensive equipment to see the positive effects light can have in helping you get out of bed every day. Even just opening the blinds to let natural light in might be just what you need to help you get up and out of bed today.
2. Establish A Morning Routine You Enjoy
From our sleep habits to work life, we naturally thrive on schedules. If you’re constantly feeling like you must drag yourself out of bed every day, that mental mindset might be contributing to why it’s so hard to get up in the first place. These negative thoughts can hold you back immensely and, in some cases, make your depressive symptoms worse.Instead of focusing on those negative thoughts, which can ultimately lead to a stressed and rushed morning where you’re constantly feeling behind, try creating a routine that you can find joy in.Whether it’s meditating in the morning, doing a quick 10-minute stretch, making a fun breakfast, getting outside for a walk, or even getting a full 30-to-60 minute cardio workout in, giving yourself something you enjoy to look forward to might make it easier for you to begin your day.
3. Find A Reason to Get Out of Bed
If routines you enjoy can help motivate you, finding a fun or exciting reason to get out of bed in the morning might help even more. Maybe it’s a special breakfast or treating yourself to a fancy cup of coffee on the way into the office.
Giving yourself a reason to get up is always a good motivator. Positive reinforcement can be a great influencer and help you break the hold that I can’t get out of bed depression has on you.
4. Start Your Day with Baby Steps
If just the thought of swinging your legs over the edge of the bed feels overwhelming, keep in mind that you don’t have to take on the whole world at once. Take baby steps. Be kind to yourself and have a plan with small, attainable, achievable tasks that are easy for you to take on, one at a time. Think in terms of 1-foot-in-front-of-the-other. This can be a great mindset if you’re trying to overcome feeling depressed in bed.Start with something as small as getting a glass of water. Know that you’ll have a light breakfast just after that. Then move on to brushing your hair and teeth. Getting dressed might be after that. Keep moving forward with these small, isolated tasks, one after the other, until your morning routine is complete and you’re ready to take on your day.
“Even the smallest of acts can be a massive struggle but trying to do something you would already do is starting the day. It may not be precisely in the morning but doing something is starting down the path. Including our basic needs into the small steps counts.”
Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC
5. Let Your Appetite Draw You Out of Bed
Our bodies have a way of telling us it’s time to move forward. If you’re hungry, or if you really enjoy that 1st cup of coffee every morning, you might be tempted enough to actually get out of bed. The idea of a tasty breakfast might just spark your appetite. You might even discover that it’s a blueberry muffin and a glass of orange juice every morning that encourages you to get out of bed despite feeling depressed.
6. Set More Than One Alarm
If the temptation to turn off your alarm and go back to sleep feels so strong that you can never get up the first time, consider setting more than one alarm, 5 to 10 minutes apart. You might need to set your first alarm earlier to allow for multiple alarms without you being late, but that can be easy to fix.
7. Make (and Stick To) A Schedule
When you don’t have a schedule in place, you might feel like you need to make constant decisions about every little thing. Creating and sticking to a schedule can take the stress out of your mornings. Having set times to start and end tasks can be very helpful in reducing some of the morning dread you might be feeling. Additionally, depression is known to have a significant impact on how well you can make decisions. Having that schedule set can help eliminate some of the decisions you need to make — from what to wear, to what to eat, and more.
8. Plan for the Occasional Day in Bed
We all have bad days from time to time. Some days can be worse than others. Plan ahead for the times you just can’t find it in yourself to jump out of bed and take on the world. It might be something as simple as throwing on some comfy clothes, having a special treat in the freezer for breakfast, or maybe even keeping face masks, lotions, or other at-home spa treatments readily available for those extra difficult days.
9. Reach Out for Help
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you might just feel too depressed to get out of bed. You should know that it’s OK if this happens. Recognizing the fact that your depression is getting worse, or that you’re no longer able to manage it on your own, is a huge step. If you’re starting to feel like the number of days your depression is making it hard to get out of bed is increasing, it might be time for you to reach out for help.
If you’re starting to feel like the number of days your depression is making it hard to get out of bed is increasing, it might be time for you to reach out for help.
You can talk to a friend, your partner, or even a doctor or online therapist to ask for help. You might even find that just verbalizing how you’re feeling can be empowering. At the very least, you might be surprised to learn that you’re not the only one who feels like they can’t get out of bed because of depression. Sometimes knowing that you’re not alone in how you feel, and that others are experiencing something similar, can be helpful.
10. Talk to A Mental Health Professional About Your Depression Treatment
Don’t let your depression go on so long that it becomes debilitating. If you’ve tried all the tips we’ve given here today and you’ve talked to a friend or loved one about how you’re feeling, you should be proud. However, if you still can’t seem to shake your depression, and being depressed in bed is becoming something that interferes with your daily life, you should consider talking to a mental health professional.
A doctor or therapist can help you come up with a new depression treatment plan or adjust your current one to help you manage depression. Make sure that you’re communicating with them so they know how severe your depression has become. They can help you better understand what type of depression you’re dealing with or if other mental health conditions are affecting your energy levels.
It might be something as simple as adjusting the dosage or type of medication for depression you’re on, or it could also be a matter of finding the right combination of therapy and medication.
11. Let Yourself Have a Mental Health Day & Stay In Bed
Remember that you don’t always have to be 100% on point. Maybe you need that mental health day today. Maybe staying in bed and watching a movie, or reading, or catching up on emails and working from bed is exactly what your body and mind have been craving. Sometimes you just need to make self care a priority, and that’s OK.
We often convince ourselves that persevering is the most important thing, but sometimes it’s important to acknowledge the importance of taking care of our most basic needs, like rest and relaxation.
“Pushing ourselves constantly when struggling with depression takes its toll on us. Ensuring some sort of self care day is important. This may be the day you allow yourself to stay in bed or just stay in your PJs and lounge.”
Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC
This essential part of self care is just as important as knowing how to get out of bed when depressed. In fact, it might be the best thing you can do, so tomorrow you can get out of bed just a little bit easier.
See references
- Oldham M, Ciraulo D. Bright light therapy for depression: A review of its effects on chronobiology and the autonomic nervous system. Chronobiol Int. 2014;31(3):305-319. doi:10.3109/07420528.2013.833935.
- Germain A, Kupfer D. Circadian rhythm disturbances in depression. Human Psychopharmacology: Clinical and Experimental. 2008;23(7):571-585. doi:10.1002/hup.964.
- Leykin Y, Roberts C, DeRubeis R. Decision-Making and Depressive Symptomatology. Cognit Ther Res. 2010;35(4):333-341. doi:10.1007/s10608-010-9308-0.
- Lyall L, Wyse C, Graham N et al. Association of disrupted circadian rhythmicity with mood disorders, subjective wellbeing, and cognitive function: a cross-sectional study of 91 105 participants from the UK Biobank. The Lancet Psychiatry. 2018;5(6):507-514. doi:10.1016/s2215-0366(18)30139-1.
Talkspace articles are written by experienced mental health-wellness contributors; they are grounded in scientific research and evidence-based practices. Articles are extensively reviewed by our team of clinical experts (therapists and psychiatrists of various specialties) to ensure content is accurate and on par with current industry standards. Our goal at Talkspace is to provide the most up-to-date, valuable, and objective information on mental health-related topics in order to help readers make informed decisions. Articles contain trusted third-party sources that are either directly linked to in the text or listed at the bottom to take readers directly to the source.
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SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
Also visit the online treatment locator.
SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.
Also visit the online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message: 435748 (HELP4U) to find help near you. Read more about the HELP4U text messaging service.
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English and Spanish are available if you select the option to speak with a national representative. Currently, the 435748 (HELP4U) text messaging service is only available in English.
In 2020, the Helpline received 833,598 calls. This is a 27 percent increase from 2019, when the Helpline received a total of 656,953 calls for the year.
The referral service is free of charge. If you have no insurance or are underinsured, we will refer you to your state office, which is responsible for state-funded treatment programs. In addition, we can often refer you to facilities that charge on a sliding fee scale or accept Medicare or Medicaid. If you have health insurance, you are encouraged to contact your insurer for a list of participating health care providers and facilities.
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Last Updated: 08/30/2022
How to get out of bed during depression — Snob
Anastasia Maksimova in her book “Out of Depression. Exit nearby” shares his personal experience and gives a number of recommendations: when it is necessary to seek help from a specialist, how to concentrate, what to eat and how to help a person who has become a hostage to this disease. "Snob" publishes one of the chapters of
Photo: Twinsfisch/UnsplashIn the midst of depression, I knew exactly why I was waking up in the morning: to enjoy my sleep when I got home from work. Sleep, sex, a hot bath where I could sit for hours, and aerial gymnastics - only they brought me back to life. I know that many depressed people not only can't have sex, they literally can't get out of bed, take a shower, or cook food. Depression breaks willpower like a cookie and plunges us into apathy.
I lie down and stare at a wall with a faded pattern. I know that in moments of immobility I am vulnerable to my demons, and still I cannot move. Hands and feet seem to be nailed to the mattress, thoughts are stratified by fibers - I can’t concentrate on any of them. It is worth thinking about something, as it immediately crumbles into dust. My ability to focus is zero.
I'm screaming inside my head.
When I manage to get up and go to the kitchen, I stand by the table and try to force myself to do something. Turn on the kettle. You still have to decide what to wear. Brush your teeth. Too many tasks... And why all? For what purpose?
I'll start by saying that it's not your fault. This is not laziness, not idleness, not weak will. You are sick, and your condition is the result of an illness that makes you feel sick. Depression is known for its ability to paralyze desire and control. Even if before the first episode you were happy to meet every new day, then at the peak of depression it may seem to you that you won’t be able (and it’s pointless) even to get out of bed.
Why is this happening? Daily mood swings are normal in depression. At certain times of the day - right after sleep, in the middle of the day or late in the evening - you can feel a sharp deterioration in mood, weakness and lack of any motivation. During these peak moments, it is hard to get out of bed, it is impossible to get to work, brush your teeth, have breakfast or take a shower. Depressed people live on such “emotional swings” for months, balancing between the desire to die and the fear that it will take too much strength.
By the way, the time of day when the “worst thing” comes is different for different people. For me, for example, it was always morning, and in the evening I felt much better.
Stillness is calming. Lulls. But it also makes us easy prey for bad thoughts. Why can't we get up in the morning?
You didn't sleep well at night. There is a very strong link between depression and sleep disorders. Approximately three-quarters of patients with depression suffer from insomnia or, conversely, sleep too much, can not wake up. Sleep disturbance is one of the most dangerous symptoms of depression, it increases the risk of suicide. The feeling of lack of sleep affects those diagnosed with depression more than healthy people. The structure of sleep in patients with depression also changes: due to high levels of stress, they wake up more often at night, and their total sleep time is significantly reduced. The ratio of sleep phases also changes. The worst thing is that, unfortunately, many antidepressants not only do not solve this problem, but, on the contrary, worsen sleep. If you have been tossing and turning all night, it is not surprising that in the morning you do not want to get out of bed: your body is broken, your head is foggy, and most of all you want to stay in bed and continue to sleep.
No motivation. The main question that pops up in my head: why? Why get up, wash the dishes, take the children to kindergarten, why go to work, turn on the laptop, why strain? After all, it doesn't make sense. Depression plunges us into absolute emptiness, into a vacuum. It takes away every grain of joy, and most importantly, it takes away the meaning. The paradox is that the longer we lie and let our thoughts circle over the garbage pit of consciousness, the worse it gets.
There are many decisions to be made. As soon as we get up, a whole mountain of tasks piles on us. It seems that making a choice is not difficult, but for a depressed person it easily becomes a straw that breaks the camel's back. I could easily burst into tears, deciding whether to wear jeans or trousers for me - from the mere fact that it is necessary to think about it. Will paralysis is one of the symptoms of depression. More conscientious people fear that they will spoil everything with the wrong decision, but I was repelled by the very need for choice. One day I was driving to work and thinking about the afterlife (why not?). It suddenly occurred to me that when I die, my consciousness will die: no more decisions to make, no more early mornings, no more daily chores to deal with. This made it so good! Honestly, it was a very deep feeling of accepting death.
Guilt. It is born and consolidated due to inaction and is like running in a wheel of self-torture. You feel guilty for not being able to cope with depression, pull yourself together and finally start doing something, and these experiences take even more strength, weakness increases, and it becomes even more difficult to get up.
No positive expectation. Another reason why people stay in bed even when they have to get up and go to work is because they don't see anything joyful during the day. Everything comes down to routine: work, lunch, subway, home ... And so again and again: not a single joyful event that would make you smile.
Fatigue. This is my middle name. What it's like to sleep 15-16 hours a day and still feel overwhelmed - I know this well. I could fall asleep on the subway, on the escalator, I could doze off at work with my head in my hands. It was like we were playing hide-and-seek with sleep, and I was a little kid who stuck his head under the bed and thought no one could see him. Sleep found me everywhere I went. Getting up in the morning was torture for me - and if not for the alarm clock, I would have stayed in bed until late at night.
Just no strength. There is such an eerie phenomenon - psychomotor retardation. This is a violation of not only cognitive, but also motor functions. In other words, you cannot move your arm or get out of bed, not figuratively, but literally. This symptom occurs only in very severe cases of depression.
Terry Cheeney, in his article for Psychology Today, describes this condition as follows: “One of the hardest things about depression that I explain to people is that the disease takes away control not only over emotions, but also over the body. This is called psychomotor retardation. It begins with a general slowdown of mental and physical processes and can lead to a state close to paralysis. One of those things that tops the list of symptoms of depression that I hate.
Not only is it difficult for me to move, it is literally impossible. Imagine that there is a bowl of frozen yogurt in front of me. I love frozen yogurt, I believe it makes the world a better place. But when I'm depressed, I can't muster the energy and will to bring myself to move my hand and take a spoon. Yogurt just stands in front of me and teases me: “Well, who’s frozen now?” If I can’t force myself to do what will bring me pleasure, you can imagine how I feel when I have to do household chores.
I can't tell you what to do in each of these cases because medication is often needed to break this vicious cycle. As, for example, for cases where depression prevents you from moving, including psychomotor retardation. I will tell you about the ways that helped me force myself to break out of the horizontal captivity.
Photo: Ben Blennerhassett/UnsplashSimplify the morning as much as possible
The thought that I need not only to get up, but to make decisions immediately drove me into a state close to a stupor. If you work outside the home, you start to get nervous about what to wear, what to take with you, remember the tasks for the day ... These thoughts make you feel sick - you want to freeze and not move, preferably never. I couldn't bring myself to open the closet to pick out clothes.
If my partner didn't make me breakfast, I wouldn't eat anything because I wouldn't have the strength to choose between cereal and a sandwich.
But every depression has "bright spots" - short periods when there is a clearing. For me, they happened mainly in the evenings, when the mood swings reached the “tolerable” point. I grabbed them to spread the straws and alleviate the morning suffering as much as possible. I laid out clothes next to the bed - down to my underpants, bra and tights. I packed my bag, put the cosmetics that I would need on the washing machine, and thought about what to eat for breakfast. So my morning became almost autonomous: after sleep, I could act without loading my brain.
It took away the fear of decisions. I was no longer so afraid to get out of bed: it no longer seemed to me that I would immediately be attacked by a million and one choices that had to be made. I have completely automated my morning.
Organize your time
The situation is more complicated if you work from home. On the one hand, you do not need to rush anywhere. On the other hand, you don't have to rush anywhere. Unfortunately, this requires even more self-discipline, which you most likely do not have the strength for right now. Structure your morning as much as possible. You should have a plan for literally every 10 minutes: I get up, brush my teeth, pour coffee into the coffee pot . .. The more detailed the schedule, the easier it will be to implement this plan.
You must not leave yourself room for thought. If you leave space for depression to seep in, she will take advantage of this, you can be sure. But when your head and hands are busy with actions, your brain becomes “closer”.
It doesn't matter at all which part of the plan you implement. The main thing is that you have a plan for this time. Praise yourself, even if you have made two points out of ten, and do not forget to tell yourself that this is already an amazing success.
Monitor "bank account"
There was a wonderful episode on the Talking Brains podcast in which 20-year-old psychologist Dr. Irene Kerzhnerman recommended that we treat our mental energy like a bank account: “Everything we do requires us to use energy. And there are things that we need to “charge the battery”. They usually fall into five categories: eating, sleeping, reading, laughing, and moving.” To continue the bank account metaphor, these are incomes, and everything else is expenses.
If you are depressed, it's time to recalculate, because the disease - depending on the severity - is a tax on your income of about 50%. Try to treat life like a bank account. Suppose a person wakes up with 1000 energy points in his pocket. He spends 1-2 points each on a routine like brushing his teeth, walking the dog, or making breakfast. Then he probably spends about 200-300 points on a difficult task at work, but he goes to lunch, laughs with friends and reads an interesting book in between, thus compensating for the costs. Maybe after work he goes to the gym, gets another 400 points, and by the end of the day is in the black.
Well done man! We envy you. But we are not like that.
Instead of waking up with 1000 points, we wake up with 500 or 300... Try to estimate how many points you will give yourself at the beginning of the day. I know the most tempting answer is "0" or "1", but try to be realistic. Give yourself some space.
What takes a couple of points for a non-depressed person will require much more from you. Write down each action that takes energy. For example: get out of bed (100), brush your teeth (50), take a shower (400), put on makeup (1000) ... Now see what you can throw away from this list if you don’t have enough points for life. Or think about how to replenish the energy balance.
Draw a table with one column for the action, a second for how many points you think it will take, and a third for how much it actually took. I understand this may sound silly. But many actions are much easier to perform when you are ready for them than when you think about them. Planning itself calms the nervous system and activates the cerebral cortex.
Try this for at least a few days. Don't forget to write down things that give you strength. So you will evaluate whether everything is in order with your "account" and how to fix the situation.
Do one thing
Sometimes we want too much of ourselves. And then this endless line floats in my head “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t” - until we give up, cover our heads with a blanket and allow ourselves to fall into a slumber.
Don't let apathy take over your mind. I know this is easier said than done because I was there too. But we underestimate ourselves even when we are depressed. No need to plan to move mountains and build a crystal palace, just get up and do one thing.
If you're frustrated by the pile of dishes in the kitchen, get up and wash one cup. Only one. It will not take much time and effort, and you will make a breakthrough from your swamp, and it will be much more valuable. If you feel the energy in yourself to wash the plate as well - great, let's go! If not, that's fine too. Go back to bed if you want to, and praise yourself for being able to get up and do something. See, it's not that hard. Or, on the contrary, it is incredibly difficult. And then all the more worth considering yourself a good fellow.
Don't get up
Actually, this advice goes against most books I've read about depression. According to their authors, the main thing is to get up. But, in my opinion, it is much more important to make the “rational brain” move.
You may simply not be able to get up no matter what you do. I understand because I know what it's like. A familiar feeling: just put your foot on the floor - and all the sorrows of this world will fall. And here, in bed, there is at least the illusion of security and tranquility.
And you know what? Don't get up. Nobody dies if you just stay in bed today. There is absolutely no reason to blame yourself. Accept it as a decision, not a defeat. Much more important is not to allow yourself to lie down staring at the ceiling or the wall. Grab a book, laptop, notepad, coloring book, and crayons—anything that will keep you entertained. Shake your brain. In the end, you can even stretch in bed - you don’t have to leave the “island of calm” for this.
Don't make it a daily practice, but don't beat yourself up for spending one full day in bed.
Most importantly, whatever method you choose to get yourself to stand up, praise yourself for every action. There is nothing ridiculous here. Now you are a fighter, and every step for you is a victory. It's not your fault that you feel lethargic, it's just how your brain works right now. You can change it. The main thing is to give yourself time for this.
Can't get out of bed? You may have disania
Image copyright, Getty Images
You may not think there are too many reasons to get out of bed. It's warm in there, it's cold outside, and you can get rid of the problem by simply pressing the "Stop" button on your alarm clock.
On October 28, the clock was moved back one hour again. Leaving your cocoon has become even more difficult, as this moment marks the beginning of winter and means that in just a few weeks you will have to wake up when it is still dark outside.
- Clock change: what doctors advise
- Is it worth accustoming yourself to wake up early?
But what if the problem is much more serious and you find it difficult to get out of bed at all, and not just during such periods? There is a special word for this: disania.
"The term 'dysania' is sometimes used to describe the experience called 'I don't want to get out of bed today'," says Dr. Mark Selter of the Royal College of Psychiatry. from depressive disorders,” he adds.
Dysnia, which has not yet been officially recognized as a disease, is not only an increased feeling of drowsiness. It is a chronic inability to get out of bed.
Such “sicks” can stay in bed for several days: the mere thought of getting up already makes them anxious, and many admit to having a “craving” to get back into bed once they try to get out of it.0003
It is important to know that you are unlikely to ever be diagnosed with dysnia on its own. This is usually a symptom that indicates possible depression or chronic fatigue syndrome.
To understand if someone you know is suffering from dysania or klinomania - a similar term that describes the desire to stay in bed all day - Dr. Selter advises first to make sure that such people are doing well with physical well-being.
Image copyright Getty Images
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, after that, he will ask the patient in the patient. Such a conversation may end with a diagnosis of depression. It is this that often causes a range of effects that manifest themselves in physical well-being, says Selter.
"Sleep disturbances, lethargy, early awakenings are all physical signs of depression," he adds. a glass of water."
If there are no other symptoms, this may mean that such people are simply afraid to get out of bed. In this case, it is not the same as disania.
If you are unsure if your sleepiness is normal, try changing your habits.
First, try to keep track of how long you sleep.