Laid back and easy going
Can a Person Learn to Be Laid-Back?
In the New Year, my husband and I will be moving across the country from New York to L.A. and I think it’s the perfect time to finally answer that question.
You see, I suffer from anxiety and depression and a 3,000-mile road trip is a big stressor. After years of therapy, I’m proficient at avoiding preemptive anxiety. I don’t take an “everything that can go wrong will go wrong” attitude and I don’t immediately wilt at the first sign of defeat. But in the moment, I have a lot of trouble pumping the brakes and applying coping strategies.
I tend to overplan and control everything. If things don’t go according to plan, I feel like I’ve failed. As the stress builds, I don’t remember to tell myself to stop what I’m doing and focus on my breathing. Instead I explode with anxiety and find the odds insurmountable. I don’t take the time to reorient my train of thought and, while I focus on the negative and feel overwhelmed, depression starts to drag me down like quicksand.
I know this pattern well. It makes it difficult for me to try new things. It made it very hard to settle in when I moved to Brooklyn eight years ago.
But I also know that situations like these are the perfect opportunity to sharpen coping tools, get into the habit of using new strategies and reacting to life differently. I’d like to be more laid-back. I no longer want to make time for worry and waste my life thinking about every bump in the road. I want to give up “stressing” as my hobby.
So what do I mean when I say laid-back? I like to think of it as being able to roll with the changes and embrace spontaneity.
laid-back /lādˈbak/ (adjective informal): relaxed and easygoing.
Synonyms: relaxed, easygoing, free and easy, casual, nonchalant, unexcitable, imperturbable, unruffled, blasé, cool, equable, even-tempered, nonconfrontational, low-maintenance, insouciant, calm, unperturbed, unflustered, unflappable, unworried, unconcerned, unbothered.
Antonyms: uptight.
I’m not laid-back. I never have been. I envy people who don’t go to pieces when they have to improvise. The funny thing is that I can improvise quite well, but instead of meeting it head on with confidence, I stress over it first and stress is a killer. Here’s a succinct explanation from LiveScience:
Stress causes deterioration in everything from your gums to your heart and can make you more susceptible to illnesses ranging from the common cold to cancer, according to a review essay in the Dec. 2007 issue of the Association for Psychological Science’s magazine Observer.
If I follow the advice of self-help author Rosie Molinary instead of a steadfast New Year’s resolution, I should pick a single word to be my guide for 2015 and that word is laid-back.
I know it won’t be easy, but I believe change is possible. Sure, maybe some people are born with a laid-back temperament, but we can change the way we perceive and react to the world with practice.
For instance, people would never describe me today as a shy person or a wallflower, but five to 10 years ago that’s just what I was. How did I change? I’ve found that the best way to get comfortable with something that makes me uncomfortable is to expose myself to it. If you strategically place yourself in the position you fear the most, you learn to be competent in that position. (No, I’m not a CBT guru, but it has worked wonders for me.)
So I’ll be exposing myself to a lot of potential stress in the coming year:
- Packing up the apartment.
- Selling most of our furniture.
- Driving across the country, visiting family in three different states along the way.
- Traveling with a French bulldog who is allergic to almost everything, including the very yeast that occurs naturally on his skin.
- Subletting and then finding a new apartment.
- Getting new furniture.
- Trying not to spend all our savings.
- Hoping my husband gets a job soon after we arrive.
- Buying a new car — because people who don’t live in NYC have cars.
- Getting new drivers’ licenses, health insurance, and voter registrations.
- Learning a new city and a new way of life.
- Making new friends!
- And everything else I haven’t thought of.
It bears noting that I’m also traveling with my laid-back husband, who’s a pretty great model for optimism and rolling with the punches.
All the while, I plan on writing about my experience, both here on Psych Central (home to the most insightful audience in the world) and hopefully put a book together as well.
I think my first and primary goal is going to be learning to take a step back when I’m beginning to feel overwhelmed or unhappy, instead of letting it grow and fester. I want to ask myself two questions: Is this how I want to feel? and How did we get here? When in doubt, remember what Richard Carlson said in Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: “The truth is, in order to experience a feeling, you must first have a thought that produces that feeling.
”
What do you think about my plan? Do you suspect a series of meltdowns are in my future? Do you think people can cultivate their own temperament? Where would you start?
The Common Behavioral Traits of a Type B Personality
People belonging to personality type B are best described as being relaxed and easygoing. They are not stubborn, and adapt according to situations. Studying the traits of type B, in contrast to type A, will help in better understanding of the subject.
Personality tests are undertaken as a part of employee selection process. This is because it is believed that people belonging to certain personality types are more suited to specific fields like marketing, sales, management, administration, etc.
The personality type theory is based on the behavioral pattern portrayed by an individual. Personality types classify people broadly according to their behavioral traits, attitudes, preferences, way of life, etc. According to one of these personality theories, people are broadly classified into type A and type B personality.
Individuals belonging to type A and B personality are completely opposite to each other. In order to understand the traits of a particular personality type, it is essential to have brief information about the other. Knowing your personality type will help you know whether you are at a risk of suffering from coronary heart disease or not. People belonging to the B type personality can deal with stress, usually do not suffer from anxiety, and hence, are not at the risk of suffering from heart diseases.
It is essential to note here that the comparisons between personality types A and B are simply made for better understanding. It is in no way intended to prove that one is better than the other.
One of the major traits of type B personality is that these people do not get irritated or angry easily. They are laid back and relaxed. They rarely tend to be aggressive or frustrated. They are very calm as compared to their highly strung counterparts (type A). They are very patient and usually have a lot of self-control.
They are not obsessively competitive. Their competitiveness is often productive. These people tend to be productive under stress. People of B type personality tend to plan things in advance before executing them. They rarely complain or fret. They do not obsessively wish to lead the group or be in control of all the situations. They can easily face things and situations as they come.
People belonging to type B personality are very much tolerant and flexible. They can comfortably adapt to situations and changes. They may even let go of their habits, routine much easily than their counterparts. They do not mind waiting in a line or waiting to get their work done. They do not suffer from anxiety or extreme temper in these cases.
They are social and love to be part of a large group. As they are fun loving, people love being in their company. They are emotional, tend to express their feelings and are not indifferent towards others. They usually have a good social life. Relaxation, enjoyment, fun comes very naturally to them.
They spend their free time socializing, shopping or having a good time.
People of type A personality often wish they were working rather than spending their time in leisure; but, the type B individuals are just the opposite. People with B type personality have controlled eating habits and lifestyle. They usually do not have any obsessive compulsive habits.
On the other hand, people belonging to this type may also be criticized for not following time schedule. They often tend to procrastinate things and do their work at the last moment. Even then, they do not get stressed.
Due to their excessively relaxed attitude, these people are also, sometimes, criticized for being too casual in their approach. Secondly, they may even be overly emotional and lack the ability to take decisions.
Type A and type B personality theory was proposed in the 1950s when studies were carried out to identify behavior pattern that could, possibly, lead to heart diseases. One of the negative aspects of this theory is that the characteristics mentioned for personality types A and B are often limited to middle-aged people.
They are also very broadly classified, and hence, may not be applicable in all cases.
Also note that there has been no direct link between personality type and heart diseases. But, studies definitely prove that showing characteristic traits of certain personality type may have a negative effect on your overall health and also on your chances of developing any physical or mental illness. For e.g., being constantly nervous, anxious, stressed or high strung can be detrimental to your health.
The traits mentioned above broadly describe the type B personality traits. They will help in knowing whether you belong to this personality type or not. However, for more detailed and personalized result, you can consult a counselor or a psychologist and undertake a personality test.
Lastly, remember that although the personality type A and type B theory is one of the most popular theories in psychology, it cannot be taken as a foolproof basis to determine whether you suffer from heart diseases or not.
Belonging to a particular personality type is not the only reason to induce or avoid heart diseases. Good luck!
InterpretationTranslation
- quiet
-
- quiet
-
adj. , used very often
Morphology: calm , calm , calm , calm ; calmer ; ext. calm ; tale. calmly
about people
1. Calm is a quiet, obedient person who does not disturb anyone.
Calm child. | Our life is very good - the lake is nearby, the house is three-story, the neighbors are calm.
2. Calm is a person who is not worried.
I am completely calm, and there is no need to shout.
3. A person who knows how to control his feelings is called calm .
This usually absolutely calm and confident person suddenly exploded.
4. If you do something with a calm soul (conscience) , then this means that by this moment you have already done something that calmed you down, added confidence to you.
With a clear conscience, he said to himself: everything that could be calculated and foreseen, I calculated and thought through. | He's doing very well, I added; if it goes on like this, by the end of the summer I can safely call him a very competent naturalist.
5.
The sea is called calm if there are no big waves, storms. Calm ocean.
6. Calm is a life, work, place where no unpleasant events occur, no serious problems, no noise.
Quiet and comfortable existence. | Calm lifestyle. | Quiet duty. | Calm quiet corner, office, house. | Here is the quietest, most peaceful place to relax - like in a village.
speech
7. If your communication with other people proceeds easily, naturally, then it is called calm .
Calm business conversation. | Calm conversation over a cup of tea. | Calm discussion. | The conversation has returned to a calm course. | I recalled Masha's calm speech, the accuracy of her judgments, her enviable composure.
8. Saying goodbye at night, people wish each other good night .
Dmitriev's Explanatory Dictionary of the Russian Language. D.V. Dmitriev. 2003.
Antonyms :
restless, fussy, noisy, restless, stormy, restless, anxious
- calmness
Useful
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