Socially anxious introvert
Difference Between Shyness and Social Anxiety — Mind My Peelings
Understanding Introversion, Shyness, and Social Anxiety
Before we can compare what the differences are, let’s look at what it really means to be introverted, shy, or socially anxious. Each has its own characteristics and should not be confused with one another.
What is an Introvert
The meaning of introvert comes from the Latin translation “intro-vertere”, which means “turning inward”. Introvert describes people who attend to their internal thoughts and feelings.
Everyone is born with an innate temperament; the way a person interacts and behaves with other people and their environment. Introversion prefers minimally stimulating environments.
Introverts can process everything in their surroundings and will pay attention to all sensory details, not just the people around them. They often have active dialogues with themselves and feel energized when reading a book, thinking deeply, or journaling.
Introversion is a spectrum and anyone can experience characteristics of both introversion or extroversion. Most people are not purely one or the other, but some characteristics may be stronger.
Common Signs of Introversion
drained by certain social interactions
prefer working alone so you can focus on the task at hand
rather spend time with a small group of close friends than a large group of people
find yourself daydreaming, allowing your mind to wander or escape
prefer expressing yourself through writing over talking
seek meaning in both your relationships and interests
What Causes Introversion
Introversion is an innate temperament you are born with. However, the degree to which you are introverted can be influenced by how you are raised and other environmental factors.
One of the biggest differences you’ll notice is your sensitivity to dopamine.
Introverted brains are far less driven by the rewards of dopamine than compared to extroverts.
This dopamine sensitivity is determined by genetics and one example of how our DNA plays a role in our personality.
What is Shyness
Shyness is a feeling of nervousness or discomfort, usually caused by fear of social situations. Shyness is often linked with low self-esteem and is characterized by:
excessive self-conscious
negative self-evaluation
negative self-preoccupation
People can feel shy from new situations, being among strangers, and even approaching or being approached by someone.
Common Signs of Shyness
negative feelings about themselves
worries about how others view them
withdrawal or avoidance of social interactions
blushing
sweating
racing heart-rate
upset stomach
What Causes Shyness
The three characteristics of shyness mentioned above all require a sense of self.
A sense of self does not begin to develop until about the age of 18 months, which suggests you are not born with shyness.
Shyness is driven by both biological and environmental influences. Research shows that shyness is influenced by social experiences, especially those with your parents.
Overprotective parents can cause children to be shy and have difficulty developing social skills.
What is Social Anxiety
Social Anxiety is one of the five major types of anxiety disorders. It is fear or apprehension about social interactions or performance situations such as:
public speaking
engaging in meetings or classes
meeting new people
going to social events or activities
talking on the phone
expressing opinions
Social anxiety occurs when you are exposed to judgment, scrutiny, or rejection in a social or performance situation.
Common Signs and Symptoms of Social Anxiety
feelings of humiliation or embarrassment
fear interacting with strangers
over-analyzing your performance
avoiding situations where you may be the center of attention
blushing
racing hear-rate
trembling
light-headed
upset stomach
If you experience anxiety about social situations, try our worksheet to challenge your worries or anxious feelings.
What Causes Social Anxiety
Like shyness, social anxiety isn’t something you are born with. However, genetics can influence whether you develop social anxiety or not.
Social anxiety can be caused by environmental factors such as your social interactions during your development years. People are more at risk of developing social anxiety in controlling or overprotective environments.
Being socially anxious is linked to a history of abuse, bullying, or family conflict. These negative experiences in combination with genetic and environmental factors can cause someone to be socially anxious.
Introvert vs Social Anxiety
Introversion and social anxiety are commonly confused. Social anxiety is often mistakenly thought to be an extreme form of introversion.
However, this could not be further from the truth and both are quite different. Introversion is about social energy, while social anxiety is a mental illness focused on fear of social interactions.
The main differences between introversion and social anxiety are:
Introverts recharge and feel energized when they are alone whereas social anxiety is a fear of social interactions.
You are born with introversion, it is a personality trait. Social anxiety is developed based on your environment.
Being an introvert is a way of life, you are in control of your choices compared to being socially anxious which can prevent you from doing what you want and interfere with your life.
Solitude helps introverts recharge but only provides temporary relief for socially anxious people.
Introverts aren’t afraid of what others think, but with social anxiety, you fear judgment from social interactions or performances.
Introverts like to keep their social circle small, build meaningful relationships and meet people on their own terms.
Socially anxious people want to meet others but fear or avoid doing so.Introverts are able to enjoy social activities. Socially anxiety makes it difficult to enjoy social engagements due to feelings of humiliation or embarrassment.
Introverts don’t have a perfectionism attitude. Socially anxious people will have that all-or-nothing perception and negatively critique their performance.
A person can be both an introvert and socially anxious. Both introverts and extroverts can experience social anxiety. But being an introvert does not mean you are socially anxious.
Shyness vs Social Anxiety
Unlike introversion, shyness and social anxiety share many common characteristics. Shyness is known as a more mild version of social anxiety.
In a study, it was found that shyness and social anxiety both exist on the same continuum. This means that the symptoms from both experiences are very similar, but the intensity can vary depending on where you are in the continuum.
The study reported that shy people had more similarities with social phobia on the affective dimension (fear and anxiety), and less so on the behavioral dimension (functional impairment and avoidance).
Common Symptoms
Shyness and social anxiety share many common symptoms such as:
negative feelings about themselves
worries about how others view them
embarrassment or judgment
difficulty speaking or speaking very softly
blushing
sweating
racing heart-rate
upset stomach
Difference Between Shyness and Social Anxiety
Although the symptoms of both are very similar, the main difference between shyness and social anxiety are:
Generally, people with shyness experience lower severity of symptoms. Most don’t experience any disruptions to their daily life compared to people with social anxiety. Avoidance of social activities is also much less common with those who are shy.
Although most with social anxiety experience symptoms of shyness, being shy does not mean you will have social anxiety. Less than 25% of shy individuals in the US have symptoms that meet the diagnostic criteria for social anxiety disorder.
Is Your Introversion or Shyness a Social Anxiety Disorder?
Now that we understand the difference between introversion, shyness, or social anxiety we can better understand what exactly we experience.
However, if you are concerned about whether you experience social anxiety, check out our guide on the different types of anxiety disorders to see if your symptoms fall into the social anxiety diagnostic criteria or share it with a friend who may be interested.
Introversion vs. Social Anxiety | Mental Health America
Am I an introvert or socially anxious?
When you’re in college, there’s a lot of pressure to measure up to your peers with academic and professional accomplishments – but there’s also a lot of pressure to make friends and maintain an active social calendar.
All of the change and newness in your social life can feel overwhelming. That’s completely normal, and it can be hard to figure out if that stress is coming from a place of introversion or anxiety. If you feel like you’re struggling to keep up (but want to), taking some time to better understand yourself can help you figure out where to start.
What is introversion?
Introversion is a personality trait, not a mental health condition. Introverts get their energy from within, meaning they need a lot of alone time to recharge. Many introverts prefer minimally stimulating environments – they often like doing solo activities or spending time in familiar spaces or with people they know well. Being in busier or more active social environments isn’t necessarily anxiety-inducing for them – they just know it will take a lot more energy to be “on.”
What is social anxiety?
Social anxiety disorder, or social phobia, is one of the five main types of anxiety disorders.
It is significant nervousness, fear, or apprehension in social situations or when thinking about social situations. This anxiety generally stems from a fear of rejection or negative judgment. Individuals with social anxiety may avoid situations or environments because they worry about how they’ll be received, even if they want to join in.
Common symptoms of social anxiety disorder include:[1]
- Blushing, sweating, trembling, rapid heart rate, nausea, or feeling your “mind going blank” when faced with a social situation
- Rigid body posture, little or no eye contact, or speaking with an overly soft voice
- Finding it scary and difficult to be with other people, especially those you don’t already know, and having a hard time talking to them even though you wish you could
- Being very self-conscious, embarrassed, and/or awkward in front of other people
- Fear of being negatively judged
- Avoiding places with other people
How can I tell the difference?
Social anxiety is not just an extreme form of introversion.
Introversion is related to social energy, while social anxiety is a mental health condition related to fear of social interactions.
Here are some key ways you can identify if you are dealing with social anxiety or introversion:
- Social anxiety often makes individuals feel bad from the beginning of a social situation (even making plans) or as an immediate reaction to a comment or interaction.
- Introversion is less reactionary, and needing alone time isn’t usually caused by anything specific – you may just end up “peopled out,” and allowing yourself downtime to recharge is crucial self-care.
- With social anxiety, avoidance of social situations is rooted in fear and choosing to be alone because it’s the only way to feel safe.
- When introverts choose alone time, it’s more likely rooted in genuine enjoyment and self-care rather than self-protection.
- Individuals with social anxiety may cancel plans even if they want to go or will miss out on opportunities otherwise.
- If skipping a social event or interaction means missing out on something meaningful, introverts can often find the motivation to participate.
- Those with social anxiety may avoid meeting new people – and even when they do meet and enjoy someone, their fears may hold them back from getting closer or inviting the new person to spend time together.
- Introverts are generally open to connecting with new people, as long as they can do it on their own terms.
- For people with social anxiety, it’s not just about making it past the initial roadblock of showing up or starting an interaction – it’s common to experience anxiety throughout the situation and feel lonely among the crowd rather than enjoy it.
- Generally, introverts are able to have fun and relax when they do join social situations and are able to “turn it on.”
- For people with social anxiety, alone time doesn’t recharge them; it may provide temporary relief from their anxious feelings but doesn’t make them feel better or more able to handle a future interaction.
- For introverts, having quality time alone is an important piece of feeling rested and reenergized so that they feel better able to handle other social interactions.
Can I be both an introvert and socially anxious?
Yes, anyone can experience social anxiety. Feeling too drained for social interaction isn’t the same as feeling anxious about it – as an introvert, you might have no problem spending time with others as long as you have the energy to do so and know you can leave whenever you want. If you find that you’re spending time alone not just to recharge but because you’re worried about how others will react to you, you may be dealing with social anxiety as well – take MHA’s anxiety screen and use it to start a conversation with your doctor or a therapist.
Whether you’re introverted, living with social anxiety, or both, you can develop skills to build your resilience in draining situations and feel more relaxed around group settings.
Check out the following tools:
- Thinking traps: How can I deal with negative thoughts?
- How can I improve my mental health on my own?
[1] National Institute of Mental Health. (2016). Social anxiety disorder: More than just shyness [Brochure]. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/sites/default/files/documents/health/publications/social-anxiety-disorder-more-than-just-shyness/19-mh-8083-socialanxietydisordermorethanjustshyness_0.pdf
Who are you - an introvert or a socially anxious person (and what does this say about you)
We are used to dividing people into introverts and extroverts (despite the fact that psychologists are sure that in most cases both of these “elements” are combined in a person’s personality) in various proportions). However, in practice, these personality types are divided into certain subspecies, and the socially anxious person is one of them. Together with psychologist Anna Sukhova, we understand the difference between an introvert and a socially anxious personality type, and also tell you how to understand which type you are.
An introvert is a person with a certain level of anxiety who is focused on his inner world, his emotions, feelings and sensations. Introverts are quite reserved and try to avoid excessive communication, because, depending on their level of anxiety, social interaction gives them some discomfort. They do not like unnecessary communication, most often they are selective in choosing friends and loved ones, and if you once offended an introvert, he can close himself from you and spend a lot of time thinking about what really happened.
In general, it is not always easy for introverts to build communication with the outside world, because they often think about hidden motives, subtext and other little things that prevent them from opening up to other people. In addition, introverts have a very well-developed left hemisphere - it is easier and easier for them to think in images, intuitively and creatively. Consider a number of characteristics that reveal their personality in full:
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They are perfectionists: accurate, precise and responsible.
It is sincerely important for them to do everything well and efficiently, so that there are fewer questions for them. They perfectly predict the desires of others, so the information from the introvert is structured, understandable and supported by facts -
Introverts try to be logical and consistent in everything - to ideally calculate their strategies and behaviors, to predict the reaction of the interlocutor. Such people are simply created for precise and creative work, and, as a rule, become unique specialists in their profession. Yes, there are rare cases when such people have a lower level of anxiety, and they are not at all interested in what is happening around them - they live in their own world without regard to reality. But more often you can meet introverts for whom leaving the comfort zone is a great stress and affects the internal perception of reality.
And it was from the last characteristic of the introvert that a special subtype arose, called the socially anxious introvert.
It is characterized by feelings of fear and anxiety associated with social interactions. A socially anxious introvert is afraid of society and situations in which he will have to contact with him, he will always worry about how he will feel in certain public situations. As a rule, they avoid public speaking, being in public, and even eating in public places is a stressful factor for them. Meeting new people for a socially anxious person is a very laborious process. They cannot control their emotions, evaluate their every step, trying to predict the course of events. And, by the way, sometimes they do it well, because they intuitively feel what to expect from the situation.
However, the problem is that any violation of the introvert's thoughtful script unsettles him - a socially anxious person is worried that he may in some cases meet with misunderstanding or condemnation from the outside, and therefore any correction seems fatal to him. The need to justify oneself for one's actions or conclusions makes a person with this psychotype withdraw into himself and not leave his inner world for the sake of his own peace and security.
Also, a socially anxious introvert is afraid of being humiliated and insulted — for an extrovert, for example, there is no need to constantly analyze the actions and words of others, since he is not fixated on how society evaluates him, while socially anxious people are in constant tension. In addition, they worry that some of their physiological reactions will become noticeable to the environment - a breaking voice, hand tremors, excessive sweating, or confused speech with excitement.
It is these qualities that prevent this introvert subtype from effectively socializing — as a rule, they experience difficulties in kindergarten, school, and later at work. Forced communication gives them only anxiety - they do not avoid communication with others, but the stress that they receive from this social activity. Socially anxious introverts are afraid to call, write, ask. They try to do everything on their own, just not to enter into communication.
Of course, all this leaves a certain imprint on the quality of communication with the opposite sex.
Socially anxious introverts are shy, afraid, anxious and generally prefer to be in dreams and fantasies than in the real and cruel, in their opinion, world, which often leads to isolation and loneliness (which, by the way, does not always seem to such people as something then scary) ( read also : What does the love of loneliness say about you).
Of course, introversion is an innate characteristic and remains unchanged throughout life, but socially anxious introversion can be "tamed". Gradually accumulating a positive experience of interacting with the outside world, a socially anxious introvert will be able to leave his comfort zone and become not only an excellent conversationalist or speaker, but also a professional, as well as a faithful and devoted friend or spouse - it is important to understand that if an individual with this type of personality will be able to make an effort on himself and trust someone, be it a friend, work colleague, lover, this person will forever remain in his heart and will be able to fully enjoy the deep and bright inner world of an introvert.
Psychologist, psycho-diagnostician, hypnologist, founder of the "Freedom from Anxiety" school.
Personal website
Photo: Getty Images
Marie Claire Editorial
5 signs that you are not an introvert, but a socially anxious person
“What, another term?!” some will exclaim in horror. Alas, yes, but you need to master it, because introversion and social anxiety are two different concepts, and in practice one is often replaced by another. While socially anxious introverts do occur, you may very well be an anxious extrovert. For example, you want to go to a bar with colleagues, but you are worried that what if they are not very happy with your company. Or you want to talk, but are afraid to freeze stupidity. Let's look at what separates a socially anxious person from an introvert.
1. Introverts are born, they become socially anxious
Introversion is an inborn trait, an integral part of personality.
A child is not born socially anxious, although there may be a predisposition to this. Various factors influence the development of anxiety: early social rejection, which teaches the child that peers are angry and critical; attitudes inspired by parents (never ask for help, because others will condemn for it). Perhaps, being in the center of attention, the child felt so uncomfortable that he began to avoid publicity.
The good news is that you can revisit early lessons about people who are bound to judge and criticize and learn new, more uplifting "material."
2. Introverts enjoy being alone
They really enjoy being alone. Only in solitude, one on one with a loved one or in a very small company of people whom he trusts, such a person gets the opportunity to "charge the batteries", relax, make up for the lack of energy.
Anxiety is caused by fear, which means that loneliness makes a person prone to it less restless. Does it bring happiness? No, more like a sense of relief.
Which, of course, is also not bad, but avoiding people, a person continues to be lonely or insecure. He is forced to refuse to participate in events that are interesting to him, because he is afraid that he will feel uncomfortable there, that he will get into a mess.
3. Introverts are confident in their abilities, anxious people are not. He is convinced that even if he opens his mouth, it will not end well: he will either not be understood or supported. Introverts are quite confident in their social skills and can turn them on when needed. It takes effort, but they can easily energize the next day by reading a book on the couch or having lunch with a close friend.
4. Anxious people fixate on the opinions of others
We are social beings and we care what others think of us, at least those we love and respect. Often we try to convince ourselves that we must be ourselves, we must not let someone else's opinion hold us back, but it is hardly possible to get rid of it one hundred percent.
