What to do if he ghosted you

7 Ways To Respond When You’re Ghosted

Lately, there’s been a lot of talk about ghosting. Ghosting, in case you’re late to the party, is when someone you’ve been dating just ceases all communication with you and pretty much drops off the face of the planet. One day you can think everything is going well and you’re about ready to finally introduce the person you’re seeing to your parents, then suddenly they’re gone. There’s no goodbye, no explanation, or even the weak, “It’s not you, it’s me,” line; they’ve just vanished and in most cases there’s nothing you can do about it.

According to relationship expert Rachel Sussman, author of The Breakup Bible, technology is actually helping to make ghosting more common. You might think that having access to easily a dozen ways to contact someone would make ghosting harder to do, but it really isn’t. As Sussman explains, the fact that so many people meet people online, as opposed to through friends or family like the old days, when someone wants to split without saying a word they can, because there’s no one to hold them accountable for it. Without someone in common to point out just how cowardly it is to ghost, the ghoster (yes, we’re making that word now) can just disappear, leaving the person they ghosted wondering what the eff the did. Honestly, unless someone burned your house down, no one deserves to be ghosted. But having been ghosted, I might be a bit biased.

Since manners and etiquette are disappearing at an epic rate in our society, meaning there’s a good chance you’ll probably be ghosted at least once in your life, you might as well prepare now. Here are seven ways to respond when you’re ghosted.

1. Make Sure You’ve Legitimately Been Ghosted

Although some ghosting cases are clear as day, as in your “What do you want to do tonight?” text goes unanswered for weeks, others can be a little cloudy. Like maybe it goes from texting a few times a day to every other day, or long messages go to short one-word answers ― neither of which are fun and can lead you to freak out. But if you find yourself in that particular scenario, don't immediately assume you're being ghosted; it could just be that they person you're seeing is having a family issue and they don't want to get into it at the moment. Basically, before you call it ghosting, you want to make sure that that’s what it is and not something that else. No one wants to be accused of ghosting, when they're not a ghoster.

2. Call Them Out On It

In the one time I was ghosted, I called him out on it. After a couple weeks of trying to get in touch with him and being completely and totally ignored, I called him out on it ― via text, email, Twitter, and Facebook messenger. I wanted him to know that I knew what he was doing, and that it was cowardly, sh*tty, and wrong. Of course I didn’t get a response, but at least I was putting it out there and felt better by letting him know that I knew what he was up to.

3. Cease All Attempts At Contact

This is the hardest one to do, because I know you want to drown them in angry texts, emails, and even sit on their front stoop declaring to everyone who walks by, “A ghoster lives here! A jerk face ghoster lives here,” but don’t do it. As much as it may be difficult, you want to take the high road as much as you can. You don’t want to ever give them a reason to think that them ghosting you was a good idea.

4. Delete Everything Related To Them

Since technology is essentially to blame for this behavior, then technology is the first place you should go to rid yourself of them. Block their number, set their email address to spam, unfriend or block them on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, and remove them from your contacts on whatever other apps you’re connected on ― all of it. You’re not just doing this so as to prevent yourself from reaching out and having the last word (which you will over and over again), but should they decide they want to be an adult and break-up properly or, even worse, have you in their life again, you don’t want to give them that opportunity. If someone ghosts you, they’re gone for good. You don’t give second chances to people like that.

5. Do Not Blame Yourself

Unless, as I mentioned above, you burned their house down, then you can’t fault yourself for their behavior. Don’t even waste your time trying to figure out what you did wrong, what you could have done differently, or anything that puts the blame on you. It’s not your fault that they’re immature, weak, and don’t have the ovaries to say to your face, like a damn adult, that they’d like to end things.

6. Be Grateful They’re Gone

You need to be sooo effing happy that they’re gone. You need to drink champagne, cheers your awesome life, and your even more awesome future with them. Someone who ghosts is someone you do not want in your life. If they can’t even breakup with someone properly, what else can't they do properly? You dodged a bullet when they ghosted you, so celebrate like crazy.

7. Have Yourself A Giggle

I cannot stress enough how important it is to laugh at all this, once the shock and anger have subsided, of course. Anyone who thinks ghosting is the best way to deal, or rather not deal with ending a relationship deserves to be laughed at, mocked, and ridiculed. So go ahead and have yourself a giggle, a laugh, or a delightfully wicked cackle. If this were a competition, you would have won, and winners always get the last laugh.

Images: Andrew Zaeh for Bustle; Giphy(7)

How To Make a Guy Regret Ghosting You (In 7 Steps)

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That guy who ghosted you? It’s time for PAYBACK! But payback in the best form – not through revenge, but instead through regret. So here’s how to make a guy regret ghosting you. The goal? To be able to move on with your head held high and your confidence still in tact. Sounds good? Alright then, let’s start from the top.

How To Deal With Ghosting

First up, before we explore how to make a guy regret ghosting you, there’s a few recommended reads you might like to have a look at before.

Uh huh, unfortunately ghosting is a pretty hot topic here at Forgetting Fairytales.

Why? Because it’s such a common thing. In fact, surveys show that “Nearly 80% of Millennial Singles Have Been Victims of ‘Ghosting’!

This means, however, you’re not alone and we have got you covered. So before reading any further, you may like to take a look at:

How To Deal With Being Ghosted
How To Respond To Ghosting (What To Reply)
How To Gain Closure After Being Ghosted

We’ve also got this one, which looks specifically at what to do if you’re ghosted before a first date (wimps!) You can find all ghosting articles here. I hope that helps as a starting point.

Why He Ghosted You

What next? Well, if you’re still wondering why he’s ghosted you – it’s important to determine that, whatever the reason- IT’S NOT ON YOU.

I mean, let’s say – worse case scenario – you messed up, made a mistake, had an argument with him, came on too strong, or didn’t seem interested enough… Whatever it is, does it justify ghosting? Well no, not really.

Ghosting is a weak mans way out. But it’s 100% on him, not you.

He didn’t need to ghost you. If he really wanted to reject you, was no longer feeling it or couldn’t deal with whatever it was, there were other ways to go about it. I mean…

Ghosting is basically rejection without the closure. It is the ending of all communication and contact with another person without any apparent warning or justification and then (to make matters worse) subsequently ignoring any attempts that a person makes to get in touch or reach out.
– Forgetting Fairytales
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It’s harsh. A little cruel in fact. And it’s just not needed. The guy could have at least said some final words before deciding to cut you out.

You deserve that much, right? Right. So what do you do?

How To Make a Guy Regret Ghosting You

Before we get into it, there’s a couple of “rules” when it comes to how to make a guy regret ghosting you.

1) Don’t Be Driven By The Wrong Emotions

If you’re going to do this, if you’re going to make a guy regret ghosting you and keep your sanity in the process, you have to do it for the right reasons. Have you heard the saying?

“You can’t have a sweet life if you’re bitter.”

There’s also another. This one is actually from Buddha:

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

Powerful huh? But take it in, acknowledge it and believe it. Because if you go on this mission to make a guy regret ghosting you and it’s fuelled by hurt, anger and pain, it’s only going to stir up more of those emotions for you AND is actually less likely to work anyway.

So feel the emotions that this experience stirred up, release them properly, then move forward with the kind of “I’m not going to let him beat me” determined attitude and the outlook of, “I’m going to show him exactly what I’m made of!”

Recommended Read: How To Properly Feel Your Emotions
Recommended Read: How To Stop Repressing Your Emotions

2) Don’t Let It Take Over

This guy took away your power the moment he suddenly cut you off. So please, oh please, don’t give him more power by letting this consume you.

See, when it comes to how to make a guy regret ghosting you – it has to be done on the side, it can’t be your full focus.

So if you notice an imbalance, take a step back, have a breather and resume your mission once you feel better.

Surround yourself with your friends, you family, people who make you feel good and remind you of how wonderful and valued you are!

Are we in agreement? Does that sound fair? Okay good. Then let’s move onto the nitty gritty…

How To Make a Guy Regret Ghosting You

Here’s how to make a guy regret ghosting you in 7 key steps. This is the process you want to follow my friends.

1) Block Him Out

The first step to make a guy regret ghosting you is to block him out. This means:

If he tries to pop back up “the ghoster returns” – unless it’s with a genuine heartfelt apology (highly unlikely) – you shouldn’t reply. It’s not about stooping to his level but instead, it’s about having the respect to know what you do and don’t deserve, and not just letting him straight back in.
You also certainly shouldn’t reach out to him again. He knows where you are, if he wants to, he will. So don’t chase him. That’s a big one. You’re better than that.
You may also want to unfollow him on social media. He cut you out of his life so why would you want to see his? (You should especially look to do this if he’s ghosted you and is now orbiting you too!)

If you do go for this last one, you’re likely to find, he’ll still follow you, or if he doesn’t he’ll still check in on you anyway. Curiosity will get the better of him in most cases.

So yes he may retaliate from the ego knock by unfollowing you in return, but this will probably get under his skin more than you realise and so you’re likely to find he does still check back for a little “online stalking” every now and then…

This is good though. This is what you want if you’re going to make him regret ghosting you.

2) Don’t React

If he does come back, and he doesn’t get your attention, he may start to go to more of an effort to.

So maybe he’s first to view your stories on social media, or he’s liking your pictures, or leaving reactions. When he does this – he’ll expect you to message, he’ll expect you to say something – but again, don’t. Let him simmer.

If it ever does happen that your paths cross, you have a conversation, or – for whatever reason – feel obliged to reply to something or another, then don’t, and I repeat, DON’T bring up the fact he ghosted you.

Also don’t bring up much about your relationship at all. Be perfectly pleasant, but come across as unaffected. This my friend is key. Even if there’s an element of “fake it til you make it.”

He’ll want you to react or reminisce, he’ll want to see that you miss him, that you still care. And as soon as you don’t – it will make him question himself, question the way he treated you and in turn, regret ghosting you.

You’ve not got angry, you’ve not lashed out, you’ve been the bigger person and that creates self-reflection on his side. Whether he’s a “good person” or not, it will get him thinking – which is what you want.

3) Keep Building Yourself Back Up

Happiness is the best revenge. Truly it is. But as part of that, in order to be genuinely happy, you have to be truly happy in yourself and who you are. You can’t let these negative experiences taint you.

So put more time into getting to know yourself again, set your dating and relationship standards, do what you can to give yourself little confidence boosts.

Ultimately you want to know who you are, what you want and what’s important to you – then never settle on these things or tolerate less than you deserve.

When you do date – qualify your dates better, make sure they’re on the same page as you so (right from the start!) so that you begin to have more good experiences than bad.

Recommended Read: 10 Qualifying Questions To Ask When Dating

Also make sure that you’re not relying on your dates to validate your worth. Try to get to the point where you feel good in yourself, no matter what your relationship status.

Because GENUINE happiness – that’s what comes across and that’s the kind of person this guy will regret letting go.

Recommended Read: What To Do If You Hate Being Single
Recommended Read: How To Create a Happiness Plan

4) Don’t Try Too Hard

The biggest mistake you can make when trying to make a guy regret ghosting you, is trying too hard. This could mean that you:

Are constantly sharing on socials about how happy you are – but in a disingenuous way.
Are clearly posting content to try to make him jealous – like, week after week, a new mysterious man? Come on!
Or maybe you’re even throwing out some quotes as digs. Totally not subtle, although I feel you, you’re hurting.

The thing is, all of this? It’s not going to make him regret it. It’s just going to show him how much it’s getting to you and that HE still has the power because you’re clearly trying to get to him. (Which will only backfire and not work anyway!)

Instead, leave a little mystery. Don’t share your entire life on socials, just share the things that you want to look back on and smile about, or the selfies that make you feel strong and confident in yourself.

Don’t craft anything around him – post it solely for you because this will then more likely create the more desired effect.

6) Seek Genuine, Pure Connections

On the flip side, the best thing you CAN do, is seek genuine, pure connections. Keep moving forward with your life. Find the people who are truly worthy of being part of yours. Because here’s the lucky spot right?

When you find people who truly make you feel good, when you start to fall in love, when you find someone who’s actually right for you – this guy who ghosted you? He’s going to be a distant memory.

When you think of him? It’s going to make you feel nothing at all – except smile a little perhaps. Only you’ll smile because you’ll think of how insignificant he really was, and how, HE was the one missing out – not you.

See if you want to know how to make a guy regret ghosting you – yes there are short-term little tricks, but the biggest and the best effect? It comes long-term.
Forgetting Fairytales
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Why? Because that guy – he doesn’t know how to treat women right, clearly. But that means, he’s never going to have the kind of relationship you will have. It will be incomparable. And that’s when the biggest regrets will set in.

The best thing you can therefore focus on, is truly moving forward and finding the people who actually belong in your life.

Recommended Read: 10 Signs He’s Emotionally Immature
Recommended Read: 10 Signs He Was Wasting Your Time

7) Keep Doing Fun Fun Things

So you should start to be seeing now – when it comes to how to make a guy regret ghosting you, it’s all about blocking him out and focusing on you. Staying calm and level-headed and the best version of you.

The more personal development work you can do, the better. But don’t forget to also carry on living your life, doing fun things… and don’t be afraid to share these things!

When he sees you, out with your friends, heading on adventures, having a laugh – it’s going to stir up a bit of envy. He’s reminded of the person that you are. The FABULOUS, fun person that you are.

He’s also going to start thinking that you’re not as affected as he’d have thought- which then provides a double-whammy sting. (Aha!)

And it sounds kind of mean, like you’re scheming – but remember, this guy didn’t value you. You’re not actually doing anything nasty. You’re simply holding your head up high and carrying on.

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How To Make a Guy Regret Ghosting You

Ultimately, when it comes to how to make a guy regret ghosting you – it’s quite simple. Block him out, don’t retaliate, don’t try to reconnect. Instead try to focus on your life, finding the right person and being truly happy in yourself. That’s the “magic formula.”

See I said it at the start and I’ll say it again – ghosting is a weak mans way out. But instead of holding onto this and letting it make you feel hurt and angry – use it as fuel and motivation to find the people who do treat you right.

And feel sorry for him… feel sorry for him because unless he changes, he’ll never be able to find and build what you will soon have.

That’s all for this one. I really hope it’s helped. Take care.

Love,
Ell_xx

What to do if you are blacklisted

It just so happened that in our time we actively use not only social networks and instant messengers, but also their functions. Services are constantly introducing new features so that users can diversify communication and protect themselves. Often you see a picture of how the interlocutor deletes his own messages. Sometimes we are blacklisted, often for hitherto unknown reasons. Virtual communication has its own specifics: if in real life you can avoid a person or not talk to him, then in social networks your account is always in sight or gets into recommendations. For this reason, many users block others - then all that remains is to wait for the weather by the sea. Why is this happening and what to do about it?

Have you been blacklisted? We figure out how to determine it

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Contents

1 What is the blacklist
2 How to understand that you have been added to the blacklist
- 2.1 Blacklist on the phone
- 2.2 Blacklist on WhatsApp 2013 9013 9033 in Telegram
- 2.4 How to understand that you have been blocked on Instagram
3 How to write to a person if he blocked you

What is a black list

into a black list. Behind the "ban" is the unwillingness to communicate, anger and resentment towards the person. Often, boors and trolls are sent to the black list, who are sharp in the comments, rude or just trying to find problems on their own heads. Sometimes readers of our Telegram chat do not behave quite correctly, which is why we also block them. Alas.

It's scary at first, but you get used to it. In general, one day you will be removed from the black list. Probably

In addition, girls often block obsessive young people in social networks who want not only to get to know each other, and guys block toxic friends and girlfriends who do not climb into their pockets for a word. Everything is understandable: there is no interest in a person, but there is a desire to protect yourself and your personal space from not the best behavior.

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How to understand that you have been added to the blacklist

This is how the VKontakte blacklist is displayed

There are several types of blacklists in smartphones and applications. What?

Blacklist in the phone : the subscriber's number is blocked, as a result of which he cannot call or send a text message.
Blacklist in messengers : you will not be able to call or write a message to a user in WhatsApp or Telegram.
Blacklist in social networks : VKontakte or Instagram will not be able to view the user's page or contact him.

Let's take a closer look at how to understand that you have been blocked.

Should I block in response? I think not

Even more life hacks in our Yandex.Zen: talk about problem solving!

Blacklist on the phone

In this section, you can add intrusive calls from "banks" and other scammers, as well as numbers of people with whom you would not like to communicate. If you call the subscriber, you will hear a beep, after which the call will be interrupted. If you do this several times and everything repeats, congratulations - you have been blocked. On some devices, you can hear that the subscriber is unavailable - this also says something. The user who blocked you will not even suspect that you tried to call him.

WhatsApp blacklist

If you are blocked on WhatsApp, you will not see the profile picture of the interlocutor, as well as the time of the visit. Also, your messages will be sent but will not reach him. Sent messages will always show one check mark.

Blacklist in Telegram

If the user "was a long time ago", then this is definitely a block

Very similar to the blacklist in WhatsApp. The main difference is that you will see the inscription “It was a long time ago” . The photo will not be displayed, and the messages will be with one check mark.

How to understand that you have been blocked on Instagram

If you cannot find the profile of person, but he is, try to find it through the browser, logging out of your account, or from another account. Found a page - it means you are blacklisted. In addition, messages in Direct will not be lost, but new ones will not reach the addressee.

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How to write to a person if he has blocked you

As a rule, if you have been blocked in one of the social networks, you can “knock” on the messenger. Again, if you understand that you were treated undeservedly, then this is the best way - practice shows that they usually block in one application, but not in all at once, leaving a certain loophole. Often this happens in the moment, on emotions.

You can use another phone or social media account to contact

Beforehand, of course, it is better to allow time to cool down so as not to aggravate the situation. In addition, many of us have a spare "left" account for work or other things - you can write through it. True, be prepared for the fact that you will fall under a hot hand and he will also be blacklisted.

If you can't get through to a person, the best way is to dial them from another number. It also happens that they block everywhere in a row - this is how much you need to infuriate the interlocutor for this to happen! I think the best way out is simply not to disturb the person, so as not to say too much.

What should I do if, after a quarrel, the guy added me to the emergency situation and ignores me, although it is he who is to blame? — www.ellegirl.ru

Love

Answer: He was offended that you were offended by him. It's time to be offended by him because he was offended by the fact that you were offended, we just tell you! :) Actually, no. Let's tell you a secret: there are no quarrels in which one person is to blame - both are always to blame, so the best thing you can do now is try to calm down and analyze what happened.

You don't need to re-read all your angry correspondence in order not to start up again if you quarreled on the Internet, but it is necessary to understand at what point everything suddenly went wrong. Firstly, so that this does not happen again, and secondly, in order to correctly apologize. Surely you were both emotional and said a lot of unpleasant things to each other, and at some point, perhaps he was just tired of swearing, and therefore he blocked you.

Photo: tumblr.com

We do not advise you to call him every five minutes, write hundreds of messages in the spirit of “What's up? You mean so, right? Wait for it!" and block him in response - one of you has not calmed down yet, and you definitely won’t be able to have a dialogue, but a new reason for a quarrel may well appear. Wait until he cools down too, unblocks you and is ready to discuss what happened, and then proceed according to the scheme:

Let him apologize and apologize yourself. Surely you both are sorry that you quarreled and said all sorts of nonsense to each other.
Tell him what you were wrong about, and what you think he was wrong about - so you will understand who was offended by what, and you will not be able to repeat the mistakes.
If, nevertheless, he did something serious (he canceled your meeting and went for a walk with friends, forgot that yesterday was exactly six months from the moment you started dating or slept and did not call all day while you were worried) and strongly you offended - without pretensions explain to him that it is impossible to do this. Be sure to explain how you felt when he forgot / did not call / left and ask him not to do this again. Guys really do not like to offend the girls they like, so if he loves you, he will try to improve.
Try not to complain and not to remember who and what specifically said offensive things to each other. If you have reconciled, it doesn't matter anymore.

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