Smart mouth people

How to Deal With a Smart Mouth Person in the Workplace | Work

Navigating difficulties in the workplace can sometimes feel complex, especially when dealing with a coworker who has a strong personality or smart-mouth tendencies. It might feel tempting to return the behavior in kind, run directly to a supervisor or avoid the coworker entirely, but there are more productive ways to address the root of the issue. Some understanding, boundaries and good communication can soon have you on your way to a more comfortable work environment.

Smart Mouth: Meaning

Typically, when someone talks about someone having a smart mouth, they are referring to someone who makes crass, unkind, brash, inappropriate, impulsive, ungracious or disrespectful comments. Usually, these interactions happen quickly and without notice, leaving those around the person feeling befuddled, confused, offended or hurt.

Keep in mind that sometimes the culture of origin and life experiences influence how you perceive the behavior of others. For instance, if you come from a culture that is more reserved and are interacting with a coworker from a more expressive region or culture, there will be differences in communication. The coworker would communicate more expressively but kindly and not with a smart mouth, meaning that they do not intend to cause harm and are not struggling with impulse control. These kinds of cultural differences are an opportunity to learn about one another and do not equate to inappropriate workplace behavior.

Smart Mouth: Examples

When it comes to dealing with a coworker who has a smart mouth, examples of behavior are probably going to vary widely. All of these examples demonstrate inappropriate behavior within the workplace and can be hurtful:

Your coworker talks back when you ask them to complete a simple task.
Your coworker suddenly uses profane language toward you.
Your coworker mocks or mimics you in unkind ways.
Your coworker uses inappropriate sarcasm intended to harm you.
Your coworker calls you names or raises their voice toward you.

This list is not exhaustive and while some of these scenarios are minor annoyances, others can be downright abusive. The nature of the comments will partially prescribe the best course of action.

Personal Differences vs. Abusiveness

Sometimes it can be difficult to tell when a coworker's behavior crosses the line from offensive to downright abusive. If comments involve name-calling, making fun of you, or relate to gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, class, religion, age, health or any other protected identifier, it is abusive and even discriminatory. If you find yourself in this situation, it could be that your coworker is creating a hostile work environment and that their behavior needs to be documented and reported to human resources.

Other times, you and a coworker might simply have differences of opinion or expression and their behavior is grating but not hateful. In addressing scenarios with this kind of workplace smart mouth, examples could include a coworker who thinks it is funny to make jokes when you would rather work quietly, or a coworker who disagrees with how you approach a certain problem and makes passing remarks that are disrespectful. In cases of personal differences and disagreement, there are several things you can do to address the situation in healthy ways, perhaps without needing any outside intervention at all.

Practice Emotional Boundaries

You do not have to give your peace of mind to the office smart mouth, meaning it is entirely possible to practice healthy emotional boundaries so that their comments do not bother you as much as they used to. When you have less of an emotional reaction, their behavior might not go away but they will not be rewarded with your reaction, and you will have the reward of more contentment in the office.

There are many ways to practice healthy emotional boundaries. Some people imagine the offending person with a cartoonlike voice to take the sting of hurtful words away. Others picture a child instead of an adult when they think about the person. You might also try reminding yourself that their reactions are about them and not about you. Their behavior is not yours to carry.

For a more concrete tool when you are new to practicing emotional boundaries in the workplace, consider breathing exercises that you can engage in as you continue to work. For example, according to PBS, HeartMath's Cut-Thru technique prescribes three basic steps:

Notice the problem with your coworker and how you feel about it as you breathe in and out through the area of your heart.
Imagine the issue is someone else's problem, and what you might say to them.
Practice letting the intense emotions from your work situation soak in the area of the heart to lessen the intensity.

Practice Relational Boundaries

When dealing with intense personalities in the workplace, relational boundaries become vitally important. According to Forbes, healthy boundaries can help you maintain a sense of self-respect and empowerment. How we communicate with others indicates to them what behaviors are okay and not okay to use around us. When your coworker is exhibiting smart mouth behavior, try setting boundaries using some of these tools:

Interrupters: "Oops! Is that what you meant to say?"
Redirection: "I am not currently accepting comments about that. Did you hear the news about the new program?"
Clear communication: "I am uncomfortable with what you said because I think it is intended to hurt me. Let's agree to be kind to one another."
Saying no: "I hear what you are asking for, but no I cannot accommodate that request right now."
Validation: "It seems you are really upset about this. I hear you and I would like to communicate in a mutually beneficial way."
Referral: "This request is out of my lane, but I know that Joseph's job responsibilities meet what you are looking for. "
Alternatives: "I hear that you really want to pursue this course of action, but what if we included our other team member to distribute things more evenly?"
Minimize contact: Sometimes you do not need to engage with a coworker at all. Disengaging creates distance that diffuses interactions.

However you choose to respond to your coworker, remember that you can only control your own actions and reactions, not theirs. So, choose professional responses to poor behavior, and remember to document any interactions that go against company policy, especially where ethics, discrimination and abuse are concerned.

When to Seek Outside Help

Although you can probably address most workplace conflicts on your own, there are times when it is best to ask for outside help from a supervisor or your human resources department. Remember to document your interactions by date and time in case any of the following occur and you need to file a complaint:

Abuse: You never need to endure emotional, physical, sexual or spiritual abuse, so go ahead and report it.
Discrimination: Most workplaces have inclusion policies that prohibit discrimination, and this is serious enough that you do not need to handle it on your own.
Ethics: If your coworker's inappropriate behavior is going to cost your company big money, do not keep it to yourself.
Escalation: If you set healthy emotional and relational boundaries, but your coworker continues to escalate their behavior instead of respecting boundaries, outside intervention might help to calm things down.

Your human resources department likely has their own protocols for addressing situations where significant behavioral issues are at play. This might range from mediation, to requiring therapy for the offending party, to disciplinary action or even dismissal. Your human resources department might also be able to help you through ensuring the individual is not in your immediate work circle, just depending on your company structure.

How to Curb a Smart Mouth

The tendency to shoot from the lip has doomed many an endeavor or personal interaction. If you are prone to speak first and think later, you could be missing out on opportunities. These tips can help to curb your impulsive blurts and make your life happier as a result.

Imagine you’re stepping off a cliff.
The next step you take could be momentous, or it could be disastrous. Before you open your mouth to say whatever pops into your head, think of the potential consequences or ramifications. This will give you a little time to edit your words before they’re spoken. Remember, you can’t take back what you said, so use your words wisely.
Employ the two-second rule.
If imagining standing at a precipice doesn’t help, there’s always the tried-and-true two-second rule. Count to two slowly, breathing in to get sufficient oxygen to your brain. Believe it or not, this brief pause is often enough to allow you enough time to change what you’re about to say — for the better, that is.
Think of the effect your words will have on the recipient.
The religious advice to do unto others as you would have done unto you applies to spoken words as well. Before you let your words escape, think of the way the recipient will receive them. Chances are that you don’t really want to create a painful experience or cause that person to instantly dislike or fear you. Since others can generally detect a blatant lie, do you want them to distrust you? How would you feel if those same words were directed at you? Perhaps this is enough to soften your word choice prior to speaking.
Ask a trusted friend for his or her opinion.
You might not be the best judge of how you speak, so it might be advisable to ask a good friend to tell you the unvarnished truth. Be prepared for a few surprises, as your own perception of how you come off to others is likely a little different when someone who knows you well gives you the straight scoop. If you’re able to accept the critique, this may go a long way toward helping you curb your impetuosity.
Practice before you need to deliver.
Suppose you’re about to address your employees, or counsel a family member on an important matter, or offer your advice to someone who requests it. If you know you have a tendency to be a little too blunt, practice what you intend to say before you actually say it. You don’t need to memorize a script, just get the right tone.
Remember that intent has a great deal to do with what you actually say. If you want to be helpful, supportive and constructive, your words will tend to support that intent.
Write it down first.
Imagine you need to have a conversation with your boss. You want to ask for a raise, but you’re worried that some of your less-than-stellar performance might work to your disadvantage. Or, perhaps you have come to the painful decision that you need to break up with your significant other. You don’t want to hurt him or her, but this is a necessary step you realize you need to take. Instead of letting fly with whatever impulsive remarks come to mind, a better strategy might be to write down key points you want to make. This will help you stick to the important parts and avoid getting into the weeds with negative ones.
Remember that a smart mouth lives forever on the Internet.
In today’s tech-savvy society, much of human interaction occurs via texting, posts on social media and email. You’d be wise to remember that anything you say using these methods will never disappear. Calling someone a jerk or being hypercritical isn’t good for your image, no matter how good it feels to get something off your chest. Remember that what goes into cyberspace is going to stick. This should help you restrain yourself – and result in better messages.
Think who you most admire and try to emulate them.
Take some time to think of all the people you know who’ve been instrumental in your life, or those you may not know but admire their leadership skills. What is it about them that strikes a chord with you? If you really want to improve your ability to speak persuasively, to inspire confidence, spark enthusiasm, to comfort or counsel, perhaps emulating the people you most admire is a good approach.
Consider professional speaker training.
People who regularly speak in public don’t just have a natural ability to talk to strangers. Many find that taking a class in public speaking helps them organize their thoughts, work on their breathing and body language, and practice their delivery. Pay attention to the tone, as well as the words.
Keep a positive outlook.
It’s not easy taking a hard look at yourself and finding the courage to make changes. A positive outlook will help. You don’t have to have all the answers right now. Just making the decision to change is a tremendous first step. Take comfort in incremental improvements with an eye toward the goal – being comfortable with what you say, wherever, whenever and whomever you say it to.

Speak no evil photo available from Shutterstock

Eight signs of smart people | 07.10.2022, InoSMI

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traits of intellectuals? and got a good hundred opinions. Some answered based on personal experience, others made assumptions based on scientific evidence. Business Insider selected eight of the most interesting options and found out what experts think about it. Here are eight signs of smart people. nine0004

Jon Velander

What are the characteristics of highly intelligent people? Business Insider researched this topic and identified eight signs of truly smart people.

One of the readers of the educational site Quora asked the question "What are the common features of intellectuals?" and got a good hundred opinions.

Some answered from personal experience, others made assumptions based on scientific evidence. Business Insider selected eight of the most interesting options and found out what experts think about it. nine0004

Here are eight signs of smart people.

Know how to act according to circumstances

Warren Buffet's career as an investment guru is an example of an excellent ability to adapt to changing market conditions and different business climates.

Several users on Quora commented that intellectuals are flexible and able to succeed in a variety of environments. One person writes that smart people adapt to the circumstances, "showing what they can do, regardless of difficulties and restrictions." nine0004

This idea is supported by the Human intelligence study (https://global.britannica.com/topic/human-intelligence-psychology). It emphasizes that the mind is the ability to change behavior in order to achieve greater success in given circumstances, or to change the very conditions of activity.

Realize they don't know much

Donald Trump ran for president with no political experience. He is often criticized for both incompetence and unwillingness to admit it. nine0004

The most intelligent people are able to admit that they do not understand this or that area. A Quora user writes that intellectuals are not afraid of the words "I don't know." And the one who can admit that he doesn’t know or can’t do something is ready to learn.

The observation is also confirmed by the classic study "How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assesments" by Justin Kruger and David Dunning, who found that the more stupid a person is, the more he overestimates his abilities. In particular, an experiment was conducted that showed that those students whose results on the exam turned out to be worse than others overestimated the number of correct answers to questions by 50%. And the winners of the best results, on the contrary, slightly underestimated their achievements. nine0004

Very curious

Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer is known for being passionate about what she does. She calls herself a knowledge-hungry nerd.

Albert Einstein is rumored to have claimed to have no special talents. “But I am passionately curious,” he said. Or, in the words of a Quora user, “smart people allow themselves to get passionate about things that others take for granted.”

In the study "Childhood Intelligence Predicts Adult Trait Openness" ("High intelligence in childhood indicates openness to new things in adulthood") by 2016, one thousand Britons under 50 took part. As it turned out, those who at the age of 11 showed good results in IQ tests, at the threshold of 50 years, were more ready for a new experience than those around them.

They are not biased

US Federal Reserve Director Janet Yellen is constantly exposed to new information about the economy and is always ready to reconsider. nine0004

Intellectuals are open to new ideas and possibilities. As Quora puts it, they are “ready to take in and think about new information with greater openness” and “welcome alternative solutions.”

Psychologists say that open-minded people who are interested in alternative points of view and who are able to objectively consider arguments from all sides usually perform better on intelligence tests. nine0004

At the same time, intellectuals are usually careful in choosing points of view and perspectives.

"Intellectuals have a strong reluctance to form an opinion at a glance, so they are slow to draw conclusions until they have gathered enough evidence," as one of the panellists put it.

Interesting with yourself

Apple founder Steve Jobs was known for his individualistic style of managing the company.

One user remarks that highly intelligent people are usually true individualists. Curiously, the authors of the recent study “How intelligence, population density, and friendship affect modern happiness” concluded that intellectuals get less pleasure from communicating with friends, than others. nine0004

High level of self-control

Trader and financier George Soros has excellent self-control: for many years he made risky decisions and did not abandon them, despite initial losses.

A Quora panelist believes that smart people are able to control their impulses by “defining and planning goals, exploring alternative strategies, and considering consequences before than to get down to business." nine0004

Scientists have also found a connection between the mind and self-control. Participants in the 2009 study “Individual Differences in Delay Discounting. Relation to Intelligence, Working Memory, and Anterior Prefrontal Cortex" ("Individual differences in time preference. Communication with intelligence, working memory and prefrontal cortex") were asked to choose one of two financial incentives: a smaller amount of money immediately or a larger amount later. As it turned out, those who chose to pay more money deferred, that is, had a higher level of self-control, performed better on average on intelligence tests. The scientists who conducted the experiment believe that the same part of the brain is responsible for solving complex problems and for self-control when achieving goals. nine0004

They are fun to be around

Comedian and Friends star Lisa Kudrow is said to have an IQ of 160.

Another Quora user believes that intellectuals always have a great sense of humor.

Experts agree, as Business Insider wrote in "Scientists say being funny is associated with having above-average intelligence." Those who came up with the funniest comic lines scored the best on verbal intelligence tests. There is also a study that has shown that professional comedians, on average, have a high IQ. nine0004

Considerate the feelings of others

When former SAS CEO Jan Carlzon published a book on leadership 30 years ago, it was a breakthrough. He called "loving" leadership and creating good conditions for workers as the key to success.

Smart people “practically feel other people’s thoughts and feelings,” write on Quora.

As psychologists explain, empathy, that is, the ability to read other people's feelings, is an important part of emotional intelligence (EQ). Individuals with high emotional intelligence usually enjoy meeting new people and willingly learn from them. nine0004

Society

6 reasons why friends and colleagues think you are a fool

August 24, 2020 Relationship

See if you have these unpleasant qualities.

1. You love to lecture

People who consider themselves super experts and give “valuable” advice right and left, even if they are not asked for it, are usually deprived of intelligence. If a person is sure that he has learned absolutely everything and can carry the truth into the world himself, things are bad. nine0004

He stops noticing his own mistakes, but actively criticizes others. As a result, he stops in development, because he is sure that he has achieved everything. And those who do not agree with him are simply "short-minded and ignorant people." And someday they will definitely regret it.

A fool never reaches a dead end, because there are a lot of smart people there. More precisely, "too smart."

A wise man loves to learn, but a fool loves to teach.

Anton Chekhov

2. You are constantly trying to prove that you are not a fool

Everything seems to be fine. But from time to time, an unpleasant feeling gnaws at you from the inside. It seems that friends and colleagues say one thing to your face, and something completely different behind your back. And you have no choice but to deliver a preemptive strike: actively prove to everyone that you are not a fool.

Unsure of their knowledge and skills, people are in great need of outside support, recognition and confirmation of their own merits. No wonder they say that a smart person is happy only when he receives his own praise, while a fool is content with the applause of others. nine0004

A fool who confesses that he is a fool is no longer a fool.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

3. You can't see perspective

If they say about you “He can't see beyond his own nose”, others may doubt your mental abilities. Limited people do not know how to think on a large scale, they do not undertake to analyze what is happening and make predictions, including those relating to their lives.

This limitation often manifests itself in a lack of interest in trends and unwillingness and even fear to look beyond the horizon. You live in a cozy mink from which you do not want to get out. But this, alas, limits your development and opportunities. nine0004

An intelligent person sees before him an immeasurable area of the possible, while a fool considers only what is possible to be possible.

Denis Diderot

4. The mind of others irritates you

A good phrase: a fool is the first to notice how much is divorced around smart people. If you are surrounded by exceptionally annoying people who "make themselves do not understand what," this is a bad sign.

Smart people, as a rule, rejoice in other people's achievements and are rather loyal to shortcomings. And fools notice and emphasize them, love comparisons and very often condemn them. nine0004

If vanity made someone happy, then surely that someone was a fool.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau

5. You talk first and think later

This bad habit usually leads to big problems. Fools love to cut off the shoulder and do not think about the consequences that carelessly expressed thoughts can lead to. But a thoughtlessly thrown phrase can hurt no worse than a knife.

As a rule, this distinguishes people who do not know how to think, compare facts and draw conclusions. And those around you suffer from it.

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