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Signs of a neglectful mother


Neglect is also Child Abuse: Know All About It

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  • What is neglect?
  • Types of neglect
  • Signs of neglect
  • If a child reveals abuse
  • Effects of neglect
  • Who's at risk?
  • Support for parents, children and young people

Every child deserves to be loved, cared for and protected. But 1 in 10 children have experienced neglect1. That’s why we’ve got advice on the types and signs of neglect and what you can do if you’re worried about a child.

Worried about a child?

If you're worried about a child, even if you're unsure, contact our helpline to speak to one of our counsellors. Call us on 0808 800 5000, email [email protected] or fill in our online form.

What is neglect?

Neglect is the ongoing failure to meet a child's basic needs and the most common form of child abuse2. A child might be left hungry or dirty, or without proper clothing, shelter, supervision or health care. This can put children and young people in danger. And it can also have long term effects on their physical and mental wellbeing.

Types of neglect

Neglect can be a lot of different things, which can make it hard to spot. But broadly speaking, there are 4 types of neglect.

  • Physical neglect
    A child's basic needs, such as food, clothing or shelter, are not met or they aren't properly supervised or kept safe.
  • Educational neglect
    A parent doesn't ensure their child is given an education.
  • Emotional neglect
    A child doesn't get the nurture and stimulation they need. This could be through ignoring, humiliating, intimidating or isolating them.
  • Medical neglect
    A child isn't given proper health care. This includes dental care and refusing or ignoring medical recommendations.

If a child reveals abuse

A child who is being neglected might not realise what’s happening is wrong. And they might even blame themselves. If a child talks to you about neglect it’s important to:

  • listen carefully to what they're saying
  • let them know they've done the right thing by telling you
  • tell them it's not their fault
  • say you'll take them seriously
  • don't confront the alleged abuser
  • explain what you'll do next
  • report what the child has told you as soon as possible.

Report abuse

Call us on 0808 800 5000, email [email protected] or fill in our online form.

Effects of neglect

Neglect changes childhood. Children who've been neglected might experience short-term and long-term effects. These can include:

  • problems with brain development
  • taking risks, like running away from home, using drugs and alcohol or breaking the law
  • getting into dangerous relationships
  • difficulty with relationships later in life, including with their own children
  • a higher chance of having mental health problems, including depression.

Who's at risk

Any child can suffer neglect. But some children and young people are more at risk than others. These include children who:

  • are born prematurely
  • have a disability
  • have complex health needs
  • are in care
  • are seeking asylum.

Other problems and life circumstances can make it harder for parents and carers to meet their child's needs. When one or more of these issues occur, it can put a child at risk of neglect.

Children living in home where there's domestic abuse are more likely to experience other types of abuse and neglect.

Children living with parents with alcohol or drug problems can be more at risk of harm and neglect. These issues can make it difficult for parents and carers to look after their children.

Being abused or neglected as child doesn't mean someone will go on to harm others. But a lot of people who abuse or neglect children have experienced it themselves. We've got support for adults who faced abuse as children.

Just because a parent has learning disabilities or difficulties it doesn't mean they aren't a great mum or dad. But some parents can struggle to understand what they need to do to provide proper care for their child. In some cases, this can lead to a child being neglected.

Most parents or carers with a mental health problem give their children the love, care and support they need. But some might struggle at certain times. This can mean children might be at a higher risk of abuse or neglect.

Housing and money worries can put a lot of stress on parents. This can stop them being able to provide the practical and emotional support that children need, which can lead to neglect.

Family, friends, neighbours or the wider community can give parents the support they need to help keep their child safe. But sometimes parents don't have this support which can put children at a higher risk of neglect.

Support

For parents and carers

We run therapeutic services for families under pressure:

  • Building Blocks
  • Parents Under Pressure™.

Find out more about all our services, including how to get in touch with ones in your area.

Family Lives offer a free and confidential helpline service for families. You can talk to them about any aspect of parenting and family life. Call 0808 800 2222 or email [email protected].

We're here to support you, no matter your worry. Call us on 0808 800 5000, email [email protected] or fill in our online form.

For children and young people

How Childline can help

Children and young people can get support and advice about neglect from Childline if they're facing neglect or if they're worried about a friend or family member. Whether it's happening now or happened in the past, Childline can be contacted 24/7. Calls to 0800 1111 are free and confidential. Children can also contact Childline online.

Graded Care Profile (GCP) was originally created by consultant paediatrician, Dr. Srivastava. We worked with him to redevelop the tool to be more comprehensive and easier to use, naming the updated version Graded Care Profile 2 (GCP2).

GCP2 helps professionals build constructive relationships with the families they work with and helps parents to understand what their child needs. We’ve found that GCP2:

  • helps parents see where they are strong and where they need support 
  • teaches parents and carers about health and hygiene, to protect against neglect 
  • shows parents and carers how they can support their children, helping them to stay safe and develop through play
  • encourages families set up positive routines that support their child’s development 
  • and gives professionals insight into how to best support children and families. Read our full evaluation on NSPCC Learning.  

Since 2016, over 21,000 professionals have been trained to use GCP2 in 85 local authority areas. In 2020/21 alone, our partner organisations used the GCP2 assessment tool to support over 19,000 people around the UK.2 Our training is available in multiple languages, and we’ve developed accessible versions for adults and children with learning disabilities.

Help us make a difference

Campaign. Donate. Fundraise. Race. Whatever you do, you'll help us make the world safer for children.

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More support for you and your child

Domestic abuse

Witnessing domestic abuse is child abuse. If you're worried about a child, we have advice to help you keep them safe.

Find out more

Emotional abuse

It can be hard to know what emotional abuse is. We’ve got advice on the signs, effects and how to report it.

Find out more

Physical abuse

If you're worried about physical abuse, we have information and advice to help you feel confident in taking the next steps to keep children and young people safe.

Find out more

References

  1. 2. According to the impact report for 2020/21: We reached many more children and adults through our scaled-up services than target, once restrictions eased and staff returned. GCP2 reached 19,898 people

  2. Radford, L. et al (2011) Child abuse and neglect in the UK today. London: NSPCC. 

Childhood Emotional Neglect - 37 Signs, Effects and How To Overcome

| What Is Childhood Emotional Neglect | Effects | Signs | How To Heal |

Childhood emotional neglect from parents is a type of emotional abuse that often goes unrecognized and unreported.

This form of child maltreatment is not always obvious because few people talk about it or know what signs to look for.

Being emotionally neglected can be a devastating experience.

Not only can this childhood trauma affect the child’s sense of self, capacity to trust, and their ability to build healthy relationships, but it can also affect a child’s health conditions.

The effects of psychological abuse can carry over to one’s adult life.

In the United States, child neglect includes physical, medical, educational, and emotional neglect​1​.

Parental neglect causing physical harm through the denial of proper care or the lack of supervision is a criminal act as defined by Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA, 1996).

What is Childhood Emotional Neglect? (Definition Of Neglect)

Child emotional neglect (CEN) is the parent’s failure to meet their child’s emotional needs during the early years. It involves unresponsive, unavailable, and limited emotional interactions between that person and the child. Children’s emotional needs for affection, support, attention, or competence are ignored.

CEN also occurs when the parent or primary caregiver exposes the child to extreme domestic violence, allows the child to engage in maladaptive behaviors, refuses to seek treatment for the child’s emotional problems, or doesn’t provide them with adequate structure.

Maternal deprivation, such as being institutionalized or placed in an orphanage, is also a form of emotional neglect. Children of absent parents may also experience similar neglect.

Effects of Emotional Neglect in Childhood

Child emotional neglect is a form of psychological maltreatment. It is also one of the most prevalent types of childhood abuse​.

Despite the lack of overt traumatic events, experiencing emotional neglect as a child can be just as damaging as abuse​​.

In fact, studies indicate that CEN might have the most wide-ranging negative mental health impact among all childhood maltreatment types. It is associated with adverse physical, psychological, and educational outcomes.

The short-term consequences of neglect include increased risk for childhood internalizing and externalizing behavior, as well as delays in cognitive and emotional development.

Amygdala is the part of the brain responsible for learning emotional significance. It affects arousal reaction to environmental stimuli​2​.

When a child experiences severe forms of CEN during early brain development, such as institutional rearing, the amygdala becomes bigger in volume and more reactive.

As a result, individuals raised by neglectful parents tend to have worse mental health outcomes and long-term effects.

A child’s perception of neglect is important.

When a child perceives they’re being neglected emotionally, they are twice as likely to develop psychiatric disorders by age 15, including the development of depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, panic disorder, phobias, and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Adolescents with their emotions neglected as a child are more likely to have poor academic performance, substance abuse, risky sexual activity, and suicide attempts.

Emotional neglect is often transgenerational​3​.

Parents who have experienced a lack of nurturing in childhood from their own parents tend to adopt similar parenting styles when raising their own children.

Unlike physical neglect or abuse, neglectful parenting doesn’t have outward signs such as bruises or injuries.

Symptoms of emotional neglect in a child are subtle. Despite individual differences, neglected people tend to show certain behavioral patterns.

In addition, abuse experiences are often accompanied by other types of abuse, such as physical abuse or sexual abuse, which tend to have more obvious signs.

17 Signs of emotionally neglectful parents

​4​
  1. Speak with a cold and unfriendly tone
  2. Unresponsive to the child’s feelings
  3. Dismiss the child’s emotions
  4. Don’t talk to the child very much
  5. Spend little time with the child and make them feel they are unwanted
  6. Less positive feedback or praise
  7. Express less affection
  8. Show less positive social interactions
  9. Disengaged and uninvolved in the child’s life
  10. Lack of interest in children’s activities
  11. Persistently find fault with their child
  12. Ignore the child’s cues for help in problem-solving tasks
  13. Offer no encouragement when the child fails a task
  14. Verbally aggressive discipline
  15. Addicted to substance misuse
  16. Show depressive symptoms
  17. Suffered from emotional neglect themselves in their own childhood

20 Common Signs of Child Emotional Neglect in children

​5,6​

CEN signs include:

  1. Insecure-avoidant attachment pattern, disorganized attachment, and, in extreme cases, attachment disorder
  2. Show passive, withdrawn, and aggressive behavior patterns with their parents
  3. Suffer from child development delay, failure to thrive
  4. Negativity during parent-child interactions and anger towards the parent
  5. Significantly less positive social interaction
  6. Delay in language development
  7. During free play, anger toward the parent
  8. Avoid interactions with other children
  9. Poor peer relationships
  10. Disruptive and impulsive behavior, including aggression, hostility, and oppositional
  11. Lower cognitive functioning
  12. Low self-esteem and self-compassion
  13. Shame, humiliation, self-blame, and feelings of worthlessness
  14. Attention problems
  15. Higher rates of dissociation
  16. More behavioral issues, including conduct disorder symptoms
  17. Less emotional knowledge, difficulty recognizing angry faces​7​
  18. Symptoms of depressive disorder​8​
  19. Symptoms of anxiety disorder
  20. In severe cases, the child develops symptoms resembling autism, such as stereotypical rocking and self-soothing

Note that whether a child is emotionally neglected needs to be evaluated by qualified specialists. If you suspect or observe signs of neglect, report to the authority as soon as possible.

Also see: Family Estrangement – Why Children Reject Their Parents & How To Mend

Also See: Phubbing – How Parents Contribute to Teenage Cell Phone Addiction

How To Overcome and Heal From Emotional Neglect In Childhood

Neglected children

Child maltreatment ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) can have an adverse impact on one’s adult well-being and family life. A child’s emotional experiences can affect their future adult relationships.

Family therapy with trained mental health professionals can help both the neglectful mother, neglectful father, and neglected child.

Therapy can help parents understand the severe impact of their neglect. A good therapist can also teach the child proper coping mechanisms.

Through early intervention, behaviors that lead to neglect may be modified and corrected.

The symptoms of childhood neglect usually improve when neglected children are subsequently cared for by loving family members, especially before age two.

Neglected parents

Parents who had neglectful early life experiences themselves can also benefit from others’ emotional support. One study has shown that overcoming childhood emotional neglect can be achieved with parent aide counseling (lay counseling) and Parents Anonymous.

These effective treatment options have relatively high success rates.

Neglected adults

Research indicates one in five individuals grew up in a family environment where caregivers deprived them of love and attention without abuse​9​.

Neglected adults who have experienced emotional abandonment as a child are at elevated risk for internalizing distress and substance abuse.

Getting professional help to address the long-term effects of emotionally unavailable parents is especially important.

It is common for adults to avoid seeking help. They prefer to handle problems on their own.

However, overcoming childhood abuse is not a matter of willpower.

Even as adults, abused children can have a hard time coping with a traumatic past. With the help of an experienced mental health professional, you can speed up your healing process.

Also See: Parenting

References

  1. 1.

    De Bellis MD. The Psychobiology of Neglect. Child Maltreat. Published online May 2005:150-172. doi:10.1177/1077559505275116

  2. 2.

    Adolphs R, Tranel D, Damasio H, Damasio A. Fear and the human amygdala. J Neurosci. Published online September 1, 1995:5879-5891. doi:10.1523/jneurosci.15-09-05879.1995

  3. 3.

    Champagne FA. Epigenetic mechanisms and the transgenerational effects of maternal care. Frontiers in Neuroendocrinology. Published online June 2008:386-397. doi:10.1016/j.yfrne.2008.03.003

  4. 4.

    Strathearn L. Maternal Neglect: Oxytocin, Dopamine and the Neurobiology of Attachment. Journal of Neuroendocrinology. Published online October 18, 2011:1054-1065. doi:10.1111/j.1365-2826.2011.02228.x

  5. 5.

    Ney PG, Fung T, Wickett AR. The worst combinations of child abuse and neglect. Child Abuse & Neglect. Published online September 1994:705-714. doi:10.1016/0145-2134(94)00037-9

  6. 6.

    Hildyard KL, Wolfe DA. Child neglect: developmental issues and outcomes☆. Child Abuse & Neglect. Published online June 2002:679-695. doi:10.1016/s0145-2134(02)00341-1

  7. 7.

    Tottenham N, Hare TA, Millner A, Gilhooly T, Zevin JD, Casey BJ. Elevated amygdala response to faces following early deprivation. Developmental Science. Published online February 18, 2011:190-204. doi:10.1111/j.1467-7687.2010.00971.x

  8. 8.

    Hanson JL, Hariri AR, Williamson DE. Blunted Ventral Striatum Development in Adolescence Reflects Emotional Neglect and Predicts Depressive Symptoms. Biological Psychiatry. Published online November 2015:598-605. doi:10.1016/j.biopsych.2015.05. 010

  9. 9.

    Cohen JR, Menon SV, Shorey RC, Le VD, Temple JR. The distal consequences of physical and emotional neglect in emerging adults: A person-centered, multi-wave, longitudinal study. Child Abuse & Neglect. Published online January 2017:151-161. doi:10.1016/j.chiabu.2016.11.030

About Pamela Li

Pamela Li is a bestselling author. She is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Parenting For Brain. Her educational background is in Electrical Engineering (MS, Stanford University) and Business Management (MBA, Harvard University). Learn more

View all posts by Pamela Li | Website

90,000 a criminal case was opened against a negligent mother from Primorye - News of Vladivostok and Primorye (16+)

Society

The child is removed from the family and placed in a specialized institution for minors.

When the Frunzensky District Court of Vladivostok considered a civil case on the claim of the department of guardianship and guardianship of the administration of Vladivostok on the deprivation of parental rights and the recovery of alimony, the prosecutor participating in the case, based on the results of a survey of the defendant and witnesses, established that the mother not only did not fulfill her duties of raising a five-year-old son, but also treated him cruelly. This is stated in the release of the prosecutor's office of Primorye. nine0004

Based on the results of an inspection immediately organized by the district prosecutor's office, it was established that the young child lives in inadequate conditions, he has burn marks and signs of starvation.

Photo from the website of the IC

The prosecutor of the Frunzensky district of Vladivostok sent the materials of the check to the preliminary investigation body for a procedural decision. Based on the results of their consideration, a decision was made to initiate a criminal case against the mother of the child under Art. 156 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation (non-fulfillment or improper fulfillment of obligations for the upbringing of a minor by a parent, if this act is connected with cruel treatment of a minor), which the prosecutor's office recognized as legal and justified. nine0004

At present, the woman has been deprived of her parental rights on the basis of a court decision, the child has been removed from the family and placed in a specialized institution for minors.

The course and results of the investigation of a criminal case initiated on the basis of the materials of the prosecutor's check are under the control of the prosecutor's office.

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Descending narcissus: who was revenged by the careless mother of Kirov | Articles

The murder of a three-year-old girl in Kirov is striking in its cynicism: the child was locked up in an apartment for a week by her own mother. A 21-year-old girl deliberately left her daughter without food and water in order to go on a spree. While the child was dying locked up, her mother broadcast on social networks and congratulated her daughter on her birthday. The girl's corpse was discovered by her grandmother, who came to congratulate the baby on the holiday. While the pages of a young mother in social networks are filled with hundreds of angry comments, she herself demonstrates complete indifference to what happened and does not repent of what she did. nine0065 What could push a young girl to a terrible act and what are the roots of maternal cruelty - in the material of Izvestia.

Maria Plenkina is a single mother, she gave birth to her first child at the age of 18. The father lives in another city, but helps with money. The grandmother also helped raise the child, who periodically sat with the girl. They used to live together, but separated a few months ago.

A young mother left the house on February 13, turning off the water taps before leaving. The body of the child was discovered by the grandmother almost a week later, on February 20. nine0066 Shortly before this, during a conversation with her daughter, she realized that the child might not be alive, and called the police and an ambulance to the house. According to initial information, the child's death could have occurred as a result of several factors at once - hunger, dehydration, hypothermia and poisoning (the child ate washing powder). A forensic examination later stated that death was due to dehydration.

A criminal case was initiated on the fact of the incident, the girl was charged with a crime under Part 2 of Art. 105 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation (murder of a minor with special cruelty), the Investigative Committee for the Kirov region said in a statement. The punishment under this article is from 8 to 20 years in prison. nine0065 Maria Plenkina was placed under arrest. During the meeting, she calmly answered the investigator's questions and did not object to the arrest. Previously, the girl was convicted of credit fraud.

Maria Plenkina

Maria Plenkina during a court session

Photo: youtube.com

Terrifying calmness

Perhaps the massacre of a child would not have caused such unceasing indignation in society (alas, even the murder of children today has become commonplace), if it were not for the behavior main accused. nine0065 During this seven-day brutal murder, Maria broadcast live on social media, during which she mostly silently stared at the screen, danced to music in a bar, smoked a hookah, sucked on a lollipop, and greeted the few onlookers. In the videos, the girl does not appear to be amused or worried. It seems that she is bored and she is just killing time. And at these moments, a girl fought desperately for her life in a locked apartment. She screamed, called for help, tried to get something to eat. But her mother didn't give her the slightest chance. nine0004

Photo: vk.com

Maria Plenkina with her daughter

However, Maria remembered her baby. On the birthday of the girl, she published a post in which she wished her to always remain healthy and happy. The girl was already dead at that time, and the mother most likely knew about it. In the comments, she accepted congratulations and promised to “kiss” the child. There are dozens of photos with her daughter in her social media profile: Plenkina supported the feeling among those around her that she was a good mother and loved her daughter. nine0065 However, the defendant's friends during interrogation said that she repeatedly thought about sending the child to an orphanage. The father of the child claims that he wanted to take the girl to him, but he was not allowed to do so.

Grandmother did not live with her daughter and granddaughter, but, according to her, they constantly saw each other and called each other. In her video message, the woman thanked the people who provided material assistance and collected money for the funeral of the child. Neighbors say they didn't hear anything suspicious. nine0065 According to the grandmother of the deceased girl, if she had been told that the girl was throwing toys out of the window, trying to attract the attention of passers-by, she would have raised the ears of the police and guardianship authorities. During the whole week of her absence from the apartment, her daughter said that the child was fine.

House where Maria Plenkina lived

Photo: youtube.com

“I don't know how to qualify my daughter's actions. Or treat it like the police: article 105, part two - "Murder"? Or is it all the same ... But if it was a hoax, then it was for three years. I don’t know, ”said Yulia Plenkina in an interview with the KP. nine0065 Previously, the woman did not notice anything suspicious in her daughter's behavior and did not know about her long absence from home. According to her, the young mother did not have a permanent job and was interrupted by temporary earnings in clubs and cafes.

Similar symptoms

However, it is difficult to believe in the grandmother's words that everything was normal. One of the signs of the daughter's antisocial behavior was, for example, a conviction for credit scams. In addition, the young mother was an infantile person. She could not cope with the elementary duties of an adult. nine0066 The regional department of the ICR also opened a criminal case against employees of prevention agencies and healthcare institutions. It turned out that the girl had not been seen by a pediatrician for the past two years. And due to the lack of control by the inspection authorities, the child continued to live in conditions of complete unsanitary conditions. The whole apartment is littered with garbage: plastic bottles, clothes, bags. The walls are painted with graffiti. Despite the fact that the apartment was renovated some time ago, it seems that it has not been cleaned for several months. nine0066

apartment

Maria Plenkina's apartment

Photo: youtube.com

A similar tragedy happened in 2012, when another negligent mother strangled her 4-year-old daughter in Kansk after facing credit bondage. She broke up with her husband, lost her job and used her credit card extensively. When it came time to pay the bills, she did not think of anything but to throw a noose around the girl's neck. After that, she attempted suicide, according to some sources familiar with the situation, defiant. “I'm leaving because the loans got me, I have debts in one bank, about 30-40 thousand, there are loans in another bank. I don’t want to pay, ”the woman wrote in a posthumous note. In September 2013, a resident of Kansk was sentenced to 11 years in prison. nine0004

Settled scores... with her mother

Social media accounts of the main defendant can hardly be called original — selfies, selfies, selfies. It is obvious to an experienced user: a lot of enhancers, photo filters, the same “slimming” angle. It would seem that there is such a thing, many embellish reality. But the difference between the girl in the frame and the person that the whole country saw in the courtroom is striking. What is there - the person is simply unrecognizable. The arrested woman looks much fuller than in the photos on social networks. nine0004

Who is not a sinner, many want to appear slimmer in pictures on social networks, as it seems to them, better than in life, to correspond to some fashion trends. But in some cases, excessive embellishment of reality may indicate deviations. In any case, deviantologists and psychiatrists think so. One of the cornerstones of the mental problems of female child killers is the relationship with the mother. In the specific Kirov case, we can say that the conflict was present. nine0066

“Well, we didn't have such scandals, first of all. I know the testimony of the neighbors. I was introduced to this. Neighbors say unanimously that they have not heard anything suspicious. And the fact that I did not live with them, this does not apply to quarrels. From time to time they were with us, of course. I scolded her for her attitude to life, for the fact that sometimes I came, and it was not tidied up there. Not globally ... Suppose, for some such moments, she scolded, ”the mother of the accused told Komsomolskaya Pravda about her relationship with her daughter. nine0004

According to the famous British psychotherapist, an expert in the field of deviantology and forensic psychology, Anna Motz, when women torture their own bodies, inflicting various kinds of injuries on themselves, engaging in promiscuity, starvation or other abuses, they are symbolically taking revenge on their mothers, writes "Mediazona". Moreover, self-torture often includes bullying and killing their own children. According to another authoritative psychiatrist, Estela Welldon, who has studied mothers who killed their own children for many years, such women do not consider their offspring to be separate beings, but perceive them as a narcissistic extension of themselves. nine0066

Narcissistic expansion refers to the parent's view of the child as an extension of himself, the inability of the mother or father to accept the child as an independent person. Scientists give a shocking interpretation of the actions of female child killers: violence against one's own children is a symbolic attack on the body of one's mother.

Photo: vk.com

Maria Plenkina

As a rule, in such a terrible way, the killer mother tries to take revenge on her own internalized, often cruel and perverted (sexually perverted or licentious) mothers. nine0066

“The main difference between male and female perversions lies in the goal towards which their actions are directed. While in men the action is directed at an external object, in women it is directed against themselves: against their own bodies or objects created by them - their children, ”Estela Welldon wrote in one of her works in 1992.

If we analyze the Kirov tragedy, it is obvious that the main spectator of the terrible finale, according to Maria's plan, was to be her mother. The main blow was intended for her - to see the death of her granddaughter. nine0066 Investigators have yet to figure out the details of the relationship between the grandmother and the mother accused of murder.

Psychiatrists also have an explanation for the imperturbable, like an elephant, calmness of the main accused. Narcissism, expressed by the accused in the impossibility of seeing the child as a person, manifests itself in behavior even after direct murder. So, the defendant does not forget to put herself in order before entering the courtroom, paint her nails, and collect her hair in a ponytail.

Learn more