Best book for marriage counseling


Marriage Troubled? 5 Books To Save Your Marraige — Annis & Vercollone

San Diego Divorce & Family Law Resources

Couples that are working to save their troubled marriage can find any number of resources on how to tackle whatever specific problems they are personally experiencing. In fact, there are so many strategies for a failing marriage that it can be difficult to know where you should start. As San Diego family law experts, we don't specialize in marriage counseling. Thankfully, there are plenty of marriage books available to offer insight, resources, and tactical advice for a healthy marriage.

Whether you're going to counseling together, separately, or not at all, it can be beneficial to explore as many different tools and techniques as possible. After all, you never know what will work for you and your marriage. We've compiled a list of some of the best relationship books for married couples struggling in their relationships and shared some details on what you can expect to find inside each book. We hope this list helps those of you struggling to find new tools and strategies for your marriage and will help create a strong relationship. We encourage you to share this blog post with others who you think it could help!

1. HOLD ME TIGHT: SEVEN CONVERSATIONS FOR A LIFETIME OF LOVE, BY DR. SUE JOHNSON 

This book presents an approach called Emotionally Focused Therapy, which aims to “reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond.” It's structured a bit as a how to guide for working through some heavier, more vulnerable topics that can (and should) arise in marriages. There are practical exercises and case studies throughout the book to help demonstrate ways to open up and connect with your spouse. This book will teach you ways to be emotionally safe and fearless when opening up with one another.

About the author: Dr. Sue Johnson is a recognized leader in the field of clinical psychology. Known for her approach “Emotionally Focused Therapy”, she has spent her career finding ways for couples to better connect and communicate.

2. THE SEVEN PRINCIPLES FOR MAKING MARRIAGE WORK: A PRACTICAL GUIDE FROM THE COUNTRY'S FOREMOST RELATIONSHIP EXPERT, BY JON GOTTMAN, PH.D. AND NAN SILVER

This book is great for the couple that wants to work through the pitfalls of marriages using a scientific, research-based approach. The tools and techniques that are presented have been extracted from the author's analytical study of couples over a period of years. The insights and advice are laid out in a very straight forward manner. The book aims to teach couples how to better resolve conflict, find common ground, and create higher levels of intimacy. The revised edition includes research-based updates from the Gottman Institute as well as new exercises based on that research.

About the author: Jon M. Gottman, PH.D. claims to be able to “predict divorce with 91% accuracy. ” He is able to do so after having dedicated his career to long-term studies of couples. If you respond to this book, feel free to take a look at some of his other work – he has 42 books published on the subject!

3. WIRED FOR LOVE: HOW UNDERSTANDING YOUR PARTNER'S BRAIN AND ATTACHMENT STYLE CAN HELP YOU DEFUSE CONFLICT AND BUILD A SECURE RELATIONSHIP, BY STAN TATKIN, PSYD.

We are all different, and it speaks to reason that what works for some may not work for others. Using principles of neuroscience, this book aims to teach you exactly how we are all “wired” differently, and with that knowledge, help you understand what you need from your spouse and vice versa. The book offers 10 “guiding principles” to make your marriage last, such as learning to fight so nobody loses, morning and evening rituals to keep you connected, and creating a safe “couple bubble.” 

About the author: Stan Tatkin, PsyD is invested in the clinical aspect of relationships. He teaches the use of psychobiological techniques in couples therapy.

4. I LOVE YOU BUT I DON’T TRUST YOU: THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO RESTORING TRUST IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP BY MIRA KIRSHENBAUM.

This book is recommended for any couple struggling with trust, whether the struggle comes from infidelity, dishonesty, betrayal, or something from the past. It’s written in a way that helps you to better understand the levels of trust, so that you can identify the stage you’re on and learn how to progress through the stages and fully regain a loving, trusting dynamic within your marriage. 

About the author: Mira Kirshenbaum works Chestnut Hill Institute, known for it’s work in research and psychotherapy. She has written eleven books and also has trained clinicians at many institutions. 

5. THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES: THE SECRET TO LOVE THAT LASTS BY GARY CHAPMAN

No list comprised of the best relationship books for married couples would be complete without The Five Love Languages. With over 11 million copies sold, it is one of the most often recommended books for a failing marriage, and with good reason. To put it simply, the book is designed to teach you how to love each other. Sounds simple enough, but couples often get lost. Not everyone shows their love in the same way, and it can lead to a disconnect between two people that want to give their best but just can't seem to find the right way. The book helps you learn which of the 5 “love languages” you and your spouse speak – words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Knowing exactly what makes you and your partner feel most loved is an excellent tool for saving a marriage.

About the author: Gary Chapman is a doctor and pastor with a long career of mentoring couples. He hosts a radio program “A Love Language Minute,” and holds regular marriage conferences.

Fixing and maintaining a marriage is hard work, but you don't have to get through on your own. These are just five examples of marriage books that can cultivate a healthy relationship, but there are countless others out there that can help. Remember that many couples have been where you are, and they have found successful strategies to rebuild a marriage filled with love, trust, and intimacy. So long as you and your spouse both want to improve your communication and relationship, any one of these books would be worth a try.

Marriage TipsJames Vercollone

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15 Best Marriage Books 2022 — Helpful Books For Married Couples

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For newlyweds and long-timers alike.

By Mekita Rivas

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Let’s be frank: If there’s one steadfast truth that most married couples can agree on, it’s that marriage isn’t always easy. Whether you’re newlyweds or many anniversaries in (congrats!), every marriage can benefit from some outside expert advice from time to time. You’ve heard of couples therapy, but don’t sleep on couples books. The best marriage books provide actionable advice, practical tips, and a framework to view your relationship through. And that comes in handy when your marriage is struggling—or simply in need of some strengthening.

Once the newlywed phase wanes and reality sets in, no matter how well you know your spouse or how long you’ve been together, you may suddenly find yourself wondering, “Who is this person, and why are they getting on my last nerve?!” But, the good news is that’s totally normal. You can’t share your entire life with someone and not be annoyed with them at one point or another. The key to ensuring that your marriage doesn’t crumble at the first sign of trouble is understanding where your partner is coming from. And if you don’t quite have the tools or know-how to do that, get to the library or your local bookstore ASAP.

Reading up on what the experts say about marriage can make you feel less alone when your relationship hits rocky waters. You’ll remember that whatever you’re going through is probably more universal than you realize. And if your marriage needs guidance, but you’re not sure working with a licensed therapist is something you want to do at this stage, a helpful marriage book may be the right place to start. For a bonding activity, read these books together and debrief afterward to share what you’ve learned, kind of like your own personal marriage self-help book club.

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The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman

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The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled Marriages, by Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey

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The All-or-Nothing Marriage, by Eli J. Finkel

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Mekita Rivas Mekita Rivas is a freelance journalist based in Washington, D. C.

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Books on family psychology. TOP-5 books according to the Genesis Publishing House

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  • Books on family psychology. TOP-5 books according to the Genesis Publishing House

The psychology of relationships is one of the most significant topics for many people. These are interpersonal relationships, and of course family relationships, love, marriage.
Books on family psychology will be interesting and useful to all those readers who want to understand the problems, as well as to establish and maintain emotional closeness, harmonious relationships and a good atmosphere in their family.

Author: S.K. Nartova-Bochaver, K.A. Bochaver, S.Yu. Bochaver

nine0029 Item information:

S. K. Nartova-Bochaver - Doctor of Psychology, Professor, National Research University "Higher School of Economics"
K.A. Bochaver - Candidate of Psychological Sciences, Associate Professor of the Moscow Institute of Psychoanalysis, Leading Expert of the Association of Interdisciplinary Medicine
S. Yu. Bochaver – Candidate of Philology, researcher at the Institute of Linguistics of the Russian Academy of Sciences

The book discusses topical issues of organizing the family's living space: territory, time regime, possession of family and personal belongings. The right of every person to privacy is argued. The life and development of the family system are considered from the point of view of building and violating personal boundaries. Typical conflicts that arise between parents and children, husbands and wives, and other family members are analyzed. The book is equipped with exercises on self-knowledge and self-diagnosis. nine0011 The book is addressed to practical psychologists and other professionals, as well as to a wide range of readers interested in strengthening family values.

Buy

Author: A.Ya. Varga

Item information:

AND I. Varga - Candidate of Psychological Sciences, Head of the Department of Systemic Family Psychotherapy of the Institute of Practical Psychology and Psychoanalysis.

The book outlines the rules for the functioning of the family system, provides examples of compiling genograms and their analysis. The description of numerous cases from practice illustrates and complements the theoretical provisions. The family is considered here as a social system, as a complex of elements and their properties that are in dynamic relationships and relationships with each other. nine0011 The book will be of interest both to specialists and to everyone who is interested in psychology and psychotherapy, questions of family relations.

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Author: E. Glozman

Item information:

E. Glozman - family psychotherapist, supervisor and teacher of family psychotherapy, psychologist-educator, EMDR (EMDR) therapist.

The author offers the reader specific advice and recommendations for reviving emotional intimacy in the family. nine0011 The book is intended for parents who think, doubt and are ready to work on relationships in the family. Consistently analyzing their own attitudes and line of behavior, the reader will have the opportunity to become an active participant in family psychotherapy: to see the family scenario, the specifics of marital relations in marriage and relationships with children, learn how to properly resolve conflicts and quarrels and overcome stressful situations. Special techniques, exercises and practical examples will help you understand how to build relationships with loved ones and make them more trusting. nine0011 The book is intended for parents, for those who want to establish and maintain harmonious relationships in the family.

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Author: C. Whitaker, O. Napier

Item information:

K. Whitaker - MD, famous American psychiatrist, one of the founders of family therapy
O. Napier - a student of C. Whitaker

If anyone has psychological problems, then first of all it is necessary to look at his family with an experienced professional look - perhaps it is there that you can find both the sources of problems and the means to overcome them. The book "Family in Crisis" is unique in that, using the example of working with one family (wife, husband, children), it outlines the basics of family therapy and at the same time analyzes the psychological mechanisms of intra-family interaction. nine0011 For over 25 years, the book has been not only a professional bestseller, but also an interesting and intelligent read, as gripping as a good novel.
The book is intended for professionals in the field of psychotherapy and psychological counseling, for couples - potential clients of family therapists, as well as for all who are interested in psychology and good relations between family members.

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Author: I. Mlodik

nine0029 Item information:

I. Mlodik - Candidate of Psychological Sciences, existential psychotherapist, chairman of the Interregional Association of Psychologists-Practitioners "Simply Together"

Our relationship with children exactly copies the relationship with our "inner child", which, in turn, repeat the model of adults' attitude towards us when we were children ourselves. And if parents during their childhood did not adequately live a certain age, did not solve some important age-related task, then they most likely will not allow their children to do this ... Unless, of course, they do not engage in self-study and work out something which for some reason they failed to do at the time. The book is about just that. nine0011 The psychological part is supplemented by a fictional story, which is conducted on behalf of the child and makes it possible to imagine what he could tell adults if he knew how to express his thoughts.
The publication will be interesting for both parents and grown-up children trying to figure out their lives.

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Books on family psychology have always been and will be in demand by readers - both specialists and a wide audience - whether it be a husband or wife who wants to strengthen a marriage; parents who are trying to establish contact with their children or all family members interested in maintaining family values. nine0003

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41,878

Books Man and woman

1.

Map of Love

John Gottman, Eksmo, 2011

The book is based on the famous 1999 study of marriage partners by American family therapist John Gottman.

Volunteers, married couples of different ages and relationships, were tested by psychologists under the supervision of video cameras and microphones.

Analysis of their facial expressions, gestures, intonations and feelings during the discussion of controversial topics allowed John Gottman to formulate the basic principles of a happy marriage. These laws of harmonious family relations are described in the book. nine0003

2. “WE. Deep Aspects of Romantic Love”

Robert Johnson, Cogito Center, 2009

Romantic love is both a state of being in love and a psychological phenomenon, a time when, in communication with another person, we learn the meaning of our life. But also expectations, and disappointments in them.

American Jungian psychologist Robert Johnson explores the nature of love using the method of depth psychology - the analysis of myth (in this case, the myth of Tristan and Iseult) as an expression of our symbolic unconscious. nine0003

The book shows the origins of romantic illusions and the authenticity of mature love.

3. “You and your family. Guide to Personal Growth”

Virginia Satir, Institute for Humanities Research, 2015

“Family life is somewhat like an iceberg. The fate of a sailor depends on the knowledge that the iceberg has an underwater part, and the fate of the family depends on understanding the feelings, needs and structure that lie behind its daily life, ”says the founder of family counseling, American psychotherapist Virginia Satir. nine0003

She wrote this book for men and women who have difficulty relating to each other. Having learned how the family structure functions, according to what laws it develops, you can understand what happens to our couple in everyday life, and “make your family happy on your own”.

4. “Love, love, love: about different ways to improve relationships, about accepting others and yourself”

Liz Burbo, Sofia, 2013

“Acceptance” is the key word around which the narrative of the book by Liz Burbo, a Canadian psychologist, is built , creator of the school of spiritual development "Listen to your body. " It's about learning to accept ourselves, our loved ones the way we are. nine0003

The book is a detailed transcript of the psychologist's dialogues with his clients - a married couple. By asking questions and analyzing the partners' answers, Liz Burbo analyzes each situation in detail.

This is an exciting read, because from chapter to chapter (from meeting to meeting) we observe how each of the participants in the dialogue changes, how he learns to accept his close and external circumstances. As a result, relationships within the family become different, more trusting and close. nine0003

5. “Why men want sex, but women want love”

Allan Pease, Barbara Pease, Eksmo, 2014

Talking about the priorities, needs, communication methods and brain structure of representatives of each sex, psychologists Allan and Barbara Pease confirm some myths , debunk others and give a scientific explanation to others.

It turns out that men cannot help but lie to their wives, that 80% of couples where one of the partners snores break up, and that women are terribly excited by the husband's offer to vacuum or wash the dishes. nine0003

After devoting many pages to a convincing presentation of the insurmountable differences between male and female nature, the Peases soften the blow in the end: “Humans differ from other animals in that they are able to determine and change their behavior by making conscious choices.” To help us in this, this book is written.

6. "Marriage is dead - long live marriage!"

Adolf Guggenbühl-Craig, Cogito Center, 2007

A Swiss psychotherapist reflects on what today is a condition for a happy marriage. He carefully examines the history of the institution of marriage and comes to the conclusion that the myth of a happy marriage was formed under the influence of the image of the Holy Family. nine0003

But it is nothing more than a myth: according to the author, "the so-called happy marriage definitely lost." Nevertheless, the author does not call for widespread divorces and families consisting of one person, giving us the opportunity to choose: “marriage is the path of happiness for many, but it can also be different.

7. "How to live in a couple and stay free"

Tina Tessina, Riley K. Smith, Phoenix, 2005

Is it possible to live together with another person and still avoid conflicts? Do you need to sacrifice yourself? Do we lose ourselves in a love union or, on the contrary, do we find ourselves? Is it necessary to defend your position? nine0003

American psychotherapists Tina Tessina and Riley K. Smith prove that the freer each partner feels, the happier and more durable their union is. The book describes behavioral strategies that allow you to peacefully overcome problems in relationships, love each other and at the same time remain free people.

8. "Honey, we need to talk about our relationship"

Patricia Love, Steven Stosny, Sofia, 2008

Loss of trust and connection between a man and a woman is the main cause of many divorces. American psychologists Patricia Love and Stephen Stosny, each of whom has been counseling couples for more than a quarter of a century, argue that in most cases it is possible to overcome the resulting alienation. nine0003

In the book, they analyze the “dialogues of two deaf people”, explaining in detail why it is so difficult for us to “hear” each other, what may be the subtext of certain accusations of inattention and insensitivity. Gradually analyzing mutual claims, the authors explain how you can establish an emotional connection with your partner in moments of crisis, when the marriage is about to collapse.

9. Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love

Helen Fisher, Alpina Non-Fiction, 2013

Anthropologist Helen Fisher analyzed a lot of information about lovers: she made tomograms of their brains and conducted in-depth questionnaires; measured levels of dopamine and other chemicals that make us feel aroused and pleased.

Fischer shares the results of his many years of research and explains what happens to us on a biochemical level when we fall in love, experience passion, love or suffer from unrequited love.

10. Secrets of happy families.

Male look»

Bruce Feiler, Alpina non-fiction, 2015

What does "male" look mean? A minimum of psychology, a maximum of technology, in our particular case. We won't find advice like "Listen to yourself" in this book. But we will find a variety of instructions "How to make it so that ..." - the children learned how to manage pocket money, the quarrel turned not into a scandal, but into a step towards mutual understanding, and so on.

Also, notes Bruce Feiler, New York Times columnist and father of the family, it's important to recreate your family's history. A common story is not only a reason to spend time together, listening and creating fascinating stories, it is also a sense of one's place and one's significance, one's responsibility. nine0003

But the author is not only busy with children. Marital intimacy - in it, too, he discovers something completely unexpected: for sex, “intimacy is the last thing a couple needs ... Married people need a sense of isolation. Relationships that are too close kill desire.”

11. “Systemic Psychotherapy of Married Couples”

Anna Varga, Cogito Center, 2012

The collection, compiled by Anna Varga, a family psychotherapist, touches on many problems of family relationships - the inability to speak and express emotions, the contradiction between the marital and parental roles , living with an alcoholic partner...

Vivid examples, important topics. Theory and live practice. The authors of the articles are domestic psychologists and psychotherapists (we have the opportunity to make an appointment with each of them!): Inna Khamitova, Grazhina Budinaite, Tatyana Drabkina, Lucy Mikaelyan, Ekaterina Zhornyak.

12. Marriage and Family

Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh, Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh’s Spiritual Heritage Foundation, 2014

which form the very core of our life: about family and marriage, about divorce and monasticism, about raising children. nine0003

And the main attention is focused on love — the one that is akin to the realm of faith: “.


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