Signs his family doesn t like you

Signs Your Boyfriend's Family Doesn't Like You (39 Clear-Cut Signs)

One of the early signs of a serious relationship is meeting your partner's family. Nevertheless, while you may be struggling to leave a good impression with your looks, conversation, and mannerism, gaining the love of your future in-laws is never going to be a guarantee. It is possible that despite all your efforts, they may still not like you. 

You see, being unliked by a partner's parents, especially during the first few meetings, is not uncommon. However, it becomes a problem if you have spent months or years with the guy, and things don't seem to be changing. Perhaps their reason for dislike could be that they misinterpret your body language and words due to environmental and cultural differences. 

Unfortunately, despite being almost impossible for a person to change their behavior when they are unaware of what they are doing wrong, your boyfriend's family may not be willing to be upfront and honest about their feelings towards you. As such, you must take it upon yourself to pick up on the signs. On that note, here are 39 subtle and not-so-subtle signs that your boyfriend's family doesn't like you.


  • 1 39 Signs Your Boyfriend's Family Doesn't Like You
    • 1.1 1. They do not want to meet you
    • 1.2 2. They withhold praise and compliments
    • 1.3 3. They never buy you gifts
    • 1.4 4. They mispronounce your name
    • 1.5 5. They leave you out of conversations
    • 1.6 6. They don't include you in family photos
    • 1.7 7. They talk about their past relationships in front of you
    • 1.8 8. They are uninterested in what you do
    • 1.9 9. They blame you for his distance
    • 1.10 10. They avoid intimacy
    • 1.11 11. They scrutinize everything you do
    • 1.12 12. Your achievements are undermined
    • 1.13 13. They judge your decisions
    • 1.14 14. They do not laugh at your jokes
    • 1.15 15. They make a big deal out of your mistakes
    • 1. 16 16. They keep suggesting new girls to him
    • 1.17 17. They criticize your looks
    • 1.18 18. Conversations are kept short
    • 1.19 19. They never ask how you are doing
    • 1.20 20. They bombard you with personal questions
    • 1.21 21. Your boyfriend doesn't want to introduce you
    • 1.22 22. Your boyfriend worries about leaving you alone with them
    • 1.23 23. They don't invite you to family events
    • 1.24 24. They don't trust you with tasks
    • 1.25 25. They leave you out of the inside jokes
    • 1.26 26. They avoid speaking directly to you
    • 1.27 27. They cancel plans randomly
    • 1.28 28. They talk behind your back
    • 1.29 29. They try to tear you down in front of your boyfriend
    • 1.30 30. They reveal your boyfriend's complaints about you
    • 1.31 31. They give backhanded gifts and compliments
    • 1.32 32. They don't have your number
    • 1.33 33. They do not attempt to know your side of the family
    • 1. 34 34. Boundaries do not exist when it comes to you
    • 1.35 35. They are controlling
    • 1.36 36. They never speak of a wedding
    • 1.37 37. You get 'weird vibes' around them
    • 1.38 38. They still make attempts to reunite him with his ex
    • 1.39 39. They are upfront about their feelings
  • 2 FAQs
  • 3 In Conclusion

39 Signs Your Boyfriend's Family Doesn't Like You

1. They do not want to meet you

Undoubtedly, every girl likes to view their boyfriend's family as their future-in-law, or even better, an extra family. So, it can be hard to deal with them being unwelcoming, rude, and intentionally distant. If your boyfriend's family seems to be purposely avoiding you, it means they do not like you and do not want to spend their precious time around you.

Admittedly, this hurts and can make you want to retaliate by avoiding them. However, you should avoid paying them back in their coins. Instead, you might want to consider finding a middle ground or shared interest to enable them to connect better with you.

2. They withhold praise and compliments

Even the most confident woman on earth enjoys receiving a compliment or two now and then, and these compliments mean much more if they come from people they look up to and respect, like your future in-laws. Therefore, when your boyfriend's parents never praise or compliment you, it can be a sign that something is awry about their feelings towards you. 

For instance, a family who is thrilled about you dating their son will want to make you feel good and comfortable around them, and one of such ways is by appreciating the good in you. So, if you have been in a relationship for a significant amount of time and his family never compliments you, it means they do not like you.

3. They never buy you gifts

Holidays come and go, and no gifts from your boyfriend's family? Well, that's a sign that they either do not like you or consider you a long-term girlfriend. 

Perhaps, you should consider getting them presents during holidays and their birthdays or send messages and call at the very least. These actions can help warm up their hearts towards you and move them towards reciprocating the love.

4. They mispronounce your name

One of the easiest ways to show disrespect and disregard towards a person is not caring to know how to pronounce their name correctly, and this might be the line your boyfriend's parents are treading. 

On the one hand, they may find your name difficult to pronounce, but on the other hand, if your name is short and straightforward, they do not care to learn the correct pronunciation, so they choose to stick to their version, not minding if it upsets you or not. This is a sign that they do not care about you.

5. They leave you out of conversations

When it comes to feeling lonely amid people, it's usually because we are left out of the conversation, or we cannot relate to what is being said or done. However, when you are with people who care and love you like your boyfriend's parents should, it is only right that they try to carry you along in their conversation.

This could mean providing backgrounds to throwback stories to enable you to catch up or let you in on the inside jokes, which draws you closer into the family. Therefore, if it seems like his family isn't doing any of this but continues to carry on conversations like you aren't present, it means they do not like you.

6. They don't include you in family photos

It is not out of place to start as the new girlfriend who takes the family pictures during the Christmas or Thanksgiving holidays. However, when it's been about three years or more, and you are still stuck with this role without anyone suggesting you join in on the photos, it is a sign that your boyfriend's family isn't fond of you.

The chances are that they do not want you in the photos because they do not support your relationship or want it to be long-term. So they are hoping that when you eventually break up, there won't be any reminders of your existence in their family.

7. They talk about their past relationships in front of you

Except if you are in your teens or early twenties, chances are your boyfriend had ex-girlfriends that his family knew about, and perhaps there was one or two which your family loved. Nevertheless, this does not give them the right to disrespect you by talking about them in your presence. 

When your boyfriend's family makes side remarks that refer to his ex-girlfriend or consistently ask after her in your presence, it is an indication that they believe she is a better fit for him than you. In this case, don't let their discussions faze you. Instead, pay attention to your boyfriend's reaction and act like it doesn't bother you. 

8. They are uninterested in what you do

Many people take pride in what we do, and to a large extent, we enjoy having conversations about them or educating people about the significant contributions we make to society. As such, having your boyfriend's folks not care about what you do or even ask what you do at the very least can be disheartening and a red flag.

Asking what a person does is a general question people ask during a first meeting, so having your boyfriend's relatives not ask or support your career is a sign that they do not care about you.

9. They blame you for his distance

Perhaps your boyfriend is a mummy's boy who spends a lot of time with his mom, but being in a relationship has caused a slight change in his schedule and excessive visits. This can cause your boyfriend's mom to have a grudge against you. 

You see, it is not abnormal for a mother-in-law to feel like she's in competition with her daughter-in-law for her son's attention. So if it feels like you are getting negative vibes from your boyfriend's mom, this could be her reason. Perhaps, you should consider inviting her for events, so she doesn't feel an immediate withdrawal from her son or consistently bug your boyfriend to call and visit home regularly.

10. They avoid intimacy

Physical and emotional intimacy is vital to any relationship. Therefore, the willingness to spend time and have a conversation with someone means that you want to have a relationship with them. 

Where your boyfriend's relatives avoid sitting close to you, embracing you, or holding you, it means they are repulsed by you and possibly hate you. You see a rub on the back, a hug, or even a handshake can go a long way to make a person feel welcomed. So if your partner's family isn't doing any of these, it means they do not like you.

11. They scrutinize everything you do

Does it feel like your in-laws are always looking over your shoulder, controlling or monitoring your every move? This kind of behavior can make you feel uncomfortable as it is a clear indication that they do not trust you or your intentions. 

Do you feel like he kind of takes you for granted?
Unfortunately this is one of the most frequent complaints we get from our readers, where they feel they aren't a priority for their boyfriend or husband. They always seem to have some excuse as to why they can't spend some quality time with you like they used to.

To see if he actually likes you take this quick free quiz and we'll let you know if it's worth putting any more time into this guy.

While you shouldn't pretend to be who you aren't, you must also avoid situations and circumstances that will give them more reasons to doubt you.

12. Your achievements are undermined

Every parent loves to brag about their son and take pride in his achievements. So at the start of your relationship, it is normal if it seems like they are always trying to equate your achievements to your boyfriend's or make him look superior. It's most likely something they are doing unconsciously.

However, this attitude becomes a problem when you have been dating your boyfriend for a while but still find yourself struggling to get their attention and impress them. It could mean that they see you as incompetent and incapable of accomplishing great things.

13. They judge your decisions

When dealing with in-laws that hate you, it can feel like the critics are never-ending, and maybe it's true. That's because such a family will believe they know everything better than you do, from how you clean your home to how you dress and how you choose to raise your kids.

Therefore, if it feels like regardless of what you do, your boyfriend's fold is never satisfied, it means they dislike you and would prefer it if you weren't with your boyfriend.  

14. They do not laugh at your jokes

Some people are naturally funny and do not have a hard time making people laugh. If you are one such person, you would think making your future in-laws laugh would be easy, but it seems not to be the case. 

Their unwillingness to laugh at your jokes even when you have told your best ones means they do not care about your goofy antics or jokes. Perhaps you should consider a different approach towards being friendly, like complimenting them and asking follow-up questions to show that you care.

15. They make a big deal out of your mistakes

Does it feel like your boyfriend's family always makes a big deal out of all your mistakes? Or do they hold onto the bad first impression they had of you and refuse to see that you have changed? This is an obvious sign that they do not like you. 

Their short temper and unforgiving nature indicate that they do not like your presence. In some cases, it may not even be that you have made a mistake. It could be them over exaggerating situations, being overly sensitive, and making it a mission to talk negatively about you.

16. They keep suggesting new girls to him

Some parents can take the level of disregard and disrespect they have for their son's partners by attempting to hook them up with new people as though they are still single. This shows that not only do they consider you a bad fit for their son, but they also do not acknowledge you as his boyfriend.

While you may not be able to control your boyfriend's parents' or siblings' actions, you should consider telling your boyfriend how it makes you feel. If he loves you, he will take a firmer stand beside you and ask his family to back off.

17. They criticize your looks

As ladies, we are not strangers to being judged by our appearance, from our outfit to hair, body, and face. As a result, negative comments about our looks can hurt and cause us to question our self-esteem. 

If your boyfriend's family makes it a habit to criticize your looks, particularly features beyond your control, it means they are deliberately trying to hurt you and do not care about how it makes you feel. They probably want you to think less of yourself and feel insecure.

18. Conversations are kept short

Forced conversations, one-word responses, and no follow-up questions from your boyfriend's parents are all signs that they do not have any interest in getting to know you. 

In some instances, they can purposely steer conversations away from you to make you feel alienated and uncomfortable in their presence. This is a form of emotional manipulation to ensure that you don't get comfortable with the family.

19. They never ask how you are doing

When your parents call, they most likely ask about your boyfriend, how he's doing, and sometimes ask to speak with him. However, when it comes to his parents, they do not seem to care about how you are doing - they do not ask after you, let alone request to speak with you and say hello.

It is understandable if you feel hurt by their actions because it shows that his family disapproves of your relationship. Nevertheless, if they never ask to say hello to you, you can initiate the conversation from your end or make it a point of duty to check in on them at least monthly.

20. They bombard you with personal questions

On the other spectrum of acting indifferent towards you, another way to know that your boyfriend's family doesn’t like you is that they pry you for personal details about your life. From your previous relationships to your career history and your family - they want to know it all, not minding if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

In some cases, relatives like this can go the extra mile to investigate you without your consent or that of your boyfriend, all with the hopes of finding something that they can use to discredit you.

21. Your boyfriend doesn't want to introduce you

Common knowledge among ladies is that if a man hesitates or refuses to introduce you to his family, he does not like you enough or does not take you seriously. While this has some truths to it, it is always good to leave room for doubt as there is also the possibility that he is worried about his parent's behavior.

The truth of the matter is that your boyfriend understands his family better than you, and he can read that they do not like it, so he was worried about conflict and believes the best solution is to keep you away from them.

22. Your boyfriend worries about leaving you alone with them

The next sign in line to your boyfriend not wanting to introduce you to his family is him not feeling confident about leaving you alone with them. Suppose you find your man behaving this way or being fidgety whenever you suggest going to visit his family on your own. In that case, the chances are that they do not like you, and he is worried that they might behave in a way that will jeopardize your relationship.

In situations like this, it's always best to clarify from your boyfriend why he is always nervous about being alone with his family. This will enable you to see things more clearly and adjust your behavior accordingly.

23. They don't invite you to family events

It is the third year and third family reunion in a row, and your boyfriend's family has somehow forgotten once again to invite you. They also failed to invite you to his father's birthday party and cousin's wedding to make things worse. At this point, it's obvious they are not forgetting but choosing to leave you out of family gatherings.

It goes without saying that if they liked you, at this point, you should have been integrated into their family dynamics. So their constant forgetful excuses are a facet to mask their true feelings of dislike and towards you.

24. They don't trust you with tasks

When you have been around your boyfriend's relatives long enough, it is only normal to expect that they will let their guards down and begin to trust you with simple tasks like babysit or watch the pets for a few hours. However, you should worry if there is still no change, despite being in the relationship for some time.

Probably his family doesn’t like you enough to trust you with tasks. Perhaps you should consider dropping subtle hints that indicate you are capable of these tasks. This will show them that you are trustworthy and ready to help.

25. They leave you out of the inside jokes

Inside jokes or in-jokes are private jokes that are understood only by members of a particular group, community, or family, as in your case. Therefore, when your partner's family continues to crack inside jokes in your presence without explaining, it is a sign that they do not like you.

The chances are that they are making deliberate attempts to ensure that you feel alienated and get the message that you are not welcomed in the family. 

26. They avoid speaking directly to you

Does it ever feel like your boyfriend's parents love to talk about you as though you are not in the room? It is strange behavior that can easily make you feel insignificant. In most cases, when people do not speak directly to you, it's because they are uncomfortable with you. So they will ask your boyfriend questions like 'what will your girlfriend have for dinner?' or 'Is X okay if I borrow you for a minute?' instead of asking you directly.

This can be a sign that they do not want to engage or have any semblance of a conversation with you, and these types of actions can make things feel awkward. To avoid uncomfortable situations like this, answer the questions they ask your boyfriend about you directly to them as this will force them to address you finally.

27. They cancel plans randomly

While canceling plans is not wrong in its entirety, it sits at the intersection between showing up for yourself and showing up for those you love. As such, when people cancel plans, we should judge them based on their reasons and actions afterward. 

If your partner's relatives are constantly canceling plans with you without valid reasons or a plan to reschedule, it is a subtle sign that they do not care about you. In other words, you are not important to them, and as such, they don't care about your schedule and are hoping you get the message that they are disrespectful on purpose

28. They talk behind your back

Sometimes, as children, we do not realize that our parents hate our partners, and it could take our partners pointing out their behaviors for us to see them for what they are. If your boyfriend is constantly reporting to you supposedly 'funny' remarks his family members made about you while you were in your absence, you might be in this situation.

On the other hand, it could be his younger siblings or nieces and nephews giving you the tea of what goes down when you are not around; after all, kids are known to say the darndest things. For instance, 'mummy says you are a gold digger' or 'daddy says he doesn't think you will last. Are you dying?' These comments are apparent signs that they hate you.

29. They try to tear you down in front of your boyfriend

It doesn't matter who is talking negatively about you; whether they are your friends or your partner's relatives, it still hurts. However, what's worse is when this is done in front of your boyfriend. 

Suppose your boyfriend's relatives make it a duty to criticize you in front of your boyfriend and never have anything good to say about your looks, career, or even your relationship. In that case, it can only mean that they are deliberately trying to hurt you and ruin your relationship. 

30. They reveal your boyfriend's complaints about you

 On the other end of publicly tearing you down are the relatives who act passive-aggressive by keeping you close enough to hurt you. Like telling you the negative things your boyfriend says about you to hurt you, but they make it come off as advice or 'chit-chat.'

You see, many people view their families as their number one support group, so it's not unusual that they would turn to them to rant about you when things are going rough in your relationship. Nevertheless, if his family members make it a habit of coming to you with these stories, it is a breach of trust and an intentional attempt to damage your relationship by sowing seeds of doubt in your mind.

31. They give backhanded gifts and compliments

I know I mentioned earlier that one of the signs that your boyfriend's family doesn’t like you is the absence of gifts and undermining your achievements, so it's understandable if you find this sign contradictory. However, the point here is the undertones that these give and compliments carry.

For instance, instead of congratulating on a job well done, they might say something along the lines of how they expected much less or are surprised you got the job done. Another example would be them giving you specific gifts that in some ways address an issue they have picked on about you. It could be gift cards to particular clothing stores because they question your dress sense or skincare products because they think you have terrible skin.

32. They don't have your number

It might seem far-fetched but having the phone number of your son or sibling's boyfriend is a way of acknowledging them and their position in the family. Therefore, if you have been in the relationship for a long time and his family members do not have your number, despite spending holidays and a considerable amount of time with them, it could be a sign that they do not like you.

What's worse, they still have contacts of his exes or a particular ex-girlfriend. It means they are not confident in your relationship and are simply holding their breath, waiting for it to be over.

33. They do not attempt to know your side of the family

There comes a time when your family and your boyfriend's family must meet. This could be at family events or planned hangouts, and the aim is to form a bond with both families and strengthen your relationship with your boyfriend. 

However, if his family remains hesitant about meeting your family, it could be that they don't like you or consider you to be a long-term figure in your boyfriend's life. After all, if they are looking forward to your relationship blossoming into a marriage, they wouldn't want to miss the opportunity to meet your family and their future in-laws. 

34. Boundaries do not exist when it comes to you

Toxic people always seem to have a problem with boundaries, let alone know when they are overstepping. So if your boyfriend's relatives are exhibiting this sign, it's because they do not like you or care about your opinions. For instance, if you live together with your boyfriend, they could show up unannounced, stay longer than you would like them to, and try to boss you around. 

They believe what belongs to your partner belongs to them, and your feelings do not matter because, in their world, you are insignificant and perhaps, a temporary figure. When faced with a situation like this, you should consider talking to your partner about setting firm boundaries and ensure that he communicates them to his family.

35. They are controlling

One reason why your boyfriend's family doesn’t like you could be because you are uncontrollable and do not conform to their expectations. You see, controlling people find outspoken people problematic and will do anything and everything to pull them down or bend to the rules.

However, before you conclude on this as a sign, make sure you look out for other signs that they are controlling and educate yourself on the best ways to handle such people.

36. They never speak of a wedding

Every parent's wish is to train their little boy and watch him grow to become an independent man, get married, and start a family of his own. So, if your partner is stable financially and emotionally but it's pretty clear that his parents avoid talking about weddings, then there's a cause to worry.  

This is a sign that his family disapproves of your relationship and doesn’t think you are 'the one' for their son, so the thought of you getting married to him makes them uncomfortable. Perhaps, you should consider having a conversation with your partner to know the root of their concerns, as this will help you understand what areas of your life you need to work on and improve.

37. You get 'weird vibes' around them

Sometimes, people are not upfront about their feelings, so you will have to count on their behavior to reveal the unspoken words they harbor, and other times, it's your instincts that do the telling. For instance, you may notice that your partner and his friends always compliment his mom for being friendly and warm, but she seems the opposite - cold and distant when you are around her.

Her display of a frigid attitude could signify that she doesn't like you or disapproves of your relationship. In this case, try to be patient and continue to show kindness towards her with hopes that she will appreciate them someday and warm up to you.

38. They still make attempts to reunite him with his ex

This is probably one of the most disrespectful and obvious yet unspoken ways to know that your boyfriend's family dislikes you. While it is not unusual to find that his ex-girlfriend is still close friends with his sisters or mom, they probably dated for a long time. However, what's disrespectful is them inviting her for family outings, knowing that you will be there.

If this happens to you, it's safe to say that they are out to draw blood and embarrass you while at it. So, to ensure that they don't win, avoid rewarding them with a reaction. Instead, you keep your cool and act unbothered.

39. They are upfront about their feelings

Sometimes, people mask and wrap their feelings under jokes, laughter, and advice, making it hard for a simple-minded person to fish out the underlying message. For instance, imagine you are shopping with your boyfriend's mom, and you show a preference for one style over another. She passes off a comment like, 'this is why I don't take styling advice from you, you are too materialistic and over the top with your style.' 

While she might have said this as a joke and during a casual activity, it could imply that she doesn't like your sense of style or your view on life. Take it seriously and address it if need be.


How do you know if your boyfriend's family doesn't like you?

An obvious sign that your boyfriend's family doesn't like you is that they will be passive-aggressive towards you, offer you backhanded comments, say hurtful things behind your back, and find ways to jeopardize your relationship.

What do you do when your boyfriend's family doesn't like you?

Many people believe that avoiding their boyfriend's family is the best way to handle things if they don't like you. However, this is a wrong approach as you will be making things uncomfortable for your partner and giving his family more reason to detest you and the relationship and hold false impressions about you. Instead, tactically confront the problem. Be true to who you are and honest in your feelings, but remain kind in your behavior.

How do you tell if your boyfriend's family likes you?

A family that likes you will first and foremost want to ensure that you are comfortable around them. As such, they will invite you to family outings and events, try to stay in touch, let you in on private jokes, and include you in everything from vacation plans to family photographs.

Can a relationship work if you don't like the family?

While getting along with your partner's family can make relationships a lot easier and more enjoyable, not everyone receives this blessing. So if you find yourself not to be on good terms with your boyfriend's family despite all attempts to fix things in the relationship, don't be so quick to spell doom for your relationship as it can still work.

How do I fit in with my boyfriend's family?

I can relate to the pressure of meeting your boyfriend's family and struggling to make them like you and fit in. Nevertheless, don't put too much pressure on yourself. Instead, be confident in who you are, be open to learning new things, be kind, ask questions, and engage with them. This way, your relationship will blossom naturally.

In Conclusion

Family relationships are a lot to handle sometimes. So while you may be hoping to have a good relationship with your boyfriend's family, you must also understand that not everyone will like or respect you. Hopefully, this list will help you identify signs of a family that does not like you to enable you to know how best to relate with them. If you enjoyed reading this list, don't forget to share it and leave a comment behind.

Does it feel like pulling teeth getting him to say how he feels about you?
Some men can be very guarded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you and leaves you wondering whether he's actually into you.

Find out to see whether he actually likes you by taking this quick free quiz

20 Signs His Parents Probably Hate You

You're a ways in to the relationship and you're starting to wonder if your boyfriend's parents hate you. But how can you tell? Some days you catch his mother grumbling about you on the phone, but maybe she's having a bad day. Other times you've witnessed his father praising his ex-girlfriend in front of you, but maybe he is just being nice. Little actions like this can be hard to decipher and can leave you scratching your head. The Huffington Post wrote in an article about the relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, that if the two don't learn to get along, the broken relationship can go on to negatively affect the entirety of the relationship between her son and daughter-in-law—eventually leading it to its death. So if you're lost and need help in translating his parent's actions to fix the problems, most of these signs can be a definite indication that your boyfriend's parents probably don't like you.

20 They Don't Include You In Family Pictures

 You started out as the new girlfriend who takes the family Christmas pictures, but now it's three years in and you're still stuck taking the family photos. It's okay every once in a while to take the pictures for your bae's family, but when it's every single time, then you should start to worry. Chances are, they don't want photographic evidence that you were ever a part of their family. Next time you have to hold the camera, ask to get a picture with his sister or parents so you feel more involved. They might like you taking the initiative.

19 They Talk About Your Boyfriend's Ex In Front Of You

 You know your boyfriend dated his ex-girlfriend for a while and she was close with his family. What's even more disquieting is when you notice his parents talk about her all of the time—right in front of you. It's a glaring indication that his parents are still obsessing over his ex-girlfriend. In this position, you want to change their minds and make them see all of the positive aspects of your personality. Spend more time with his family and plan intimate outings. Ignore their ex chatter and act like it doesn't bother you. Go the extra mile and ask about her.

18 They Can't Remember Your Name

 When you really enjoy someone's presence, you'll most likely remember their name or who they were. One sign that his parents definitely hate you is they won't remember who you are. This is when his parents refer to you as, “that one girl” or “her.” Obviously, they have no intention of keeping you in their thoughts and would rather forget you even exist in their son's life. To turn the tables and make a really shocking impression, use their name when talking to them and remember little details about their lives. They'll come to appreciate how much you remember.

17 You're The Reason He Doesn't Call Home

Many girlfriends have heard it before, the infamous “You're spending too much time with her, so much that you haven't called home in a while.” Just because your boyfriend sucks at communicating doesn't mean it's your fault. But if his parents are constantly complaining to him about you keeping him away from home, odds are they really don't like you and are looking for a reason to boot you out of their lives. Bug your boyfriend to visit or call home routinely. Once they see you aren't the source of the problem, they might come to respect you after the fact.

16 His Parents Won't Let Their Guards Down

 It's normal for first-time meetings to be uncomfortable between you and his parents. They don't know anything about you and you are the person he's spending most of his time with. They will be analyzing every single detail about you. But after time passes, if they still don't warm up to your presence, then they are holding back for a reason. Either they don't trust you enough or have no intention of keeping you in their lives. Start to get to know them better and ask questions about their interests. Maybe that will help his parents warm up to you.

15 Your Achievements Are Never Enough

 It's normal for a mother or father to brag about their son's achievements. And as time goes on and you get closer to his parents, they'll learn to brag about you, too. But if you find yourself still trying to impress his parents long after the relationship has begun, something's up. It might seem like they don't want to believe you are capable of doing great things or accomplishing your goals. To change their opinion, try to casually mention something great you did that day. Or ask about their accomplishments so it opens a window to shine light on yours.

14 They Constantly Question Your Career Path

 In the hilarious and memorable film, Meet The Parents, Greg was constantly teased for taking on the career of a nurse practitioner. If you find yourself in a similar situation, it's fair to say your boyfriend's parents do not respect you as a person or what you have chosen to do with your life. When conversing with his parents, tell them heart-warming stories from your day at work and ways you may have made an impact. Or even stories about how hard your job might be. They might learn to respect your career and what you do for a living.

13 You're Not Invited

 Family events are very intimate gatherings and most feel honored to be invited to such events. If you find you are constantly being left out of these cozy gatherings, it sounds like you aren't a part of the inner circle. His parents don't want you to meet the rest of the family because they don't like you. Rather than inviting yourself to the events, casually ask, “if there's anything I can do to help” or if it's someone's birthday party, ask your boyfriend to bring a present from you. Hopefully in the future they'll consider inviting you to a gathering.

12 He Doesn't Want To Introduce You

 Meeting your boyfriend's parents is an important event, but if he keeps making up excuses for you not to meet, you should be suspicious. If he's as genuine as you think, then he might be trying to shield you from his parents' animosity. Regardless of how they developed this strong hatred, whether it was the result of hours of in-depth social media stalking or dissecting your boyfriend's details about you, the situation is still in its early stages. All you have to do is officially meet his parents and change their minds; don't let his parents' initial judgments scare you.

11 They Have A Cold Attitude

 It'll be immediately noticeable if his parents are tense and display a frigid attitude toward you. They might not smile around you, make cold comments or talk negatively about you behind your back. Try complimenting his parents on a daily basis, or take notice of things they may have spent a lot of time doing. Offer to do things together or plan special events so they can learn to enjoy the loving side of you. All you can do is continue to show kindness in the presence of their coldness and hope that one day the ice is melted away.

10 They Won't Trust You With Simple Tasks

 There comes a time in a relationship when the parents can trust their son's girlfriend to do things like watch their cat or babysit for a couple hours. If you're far into the relationship and still haven't been entrusted with these opportunities, you should start asking questions. It sounds like his parents don't like you enough to trust you with such simple tasks. If you want to change their minds, drop subtle hints that showcase how great you are with kids, or that you absolutely adore animals. You want to show them you are ready and capable of their trust.

9 You Are Left Out Of Family Jokes

 Family inside jokes hold a family together and are a means of nostalgia. In the presence of someone new, it's common courtesy to laugh about it and explain the story behind the joke—because it's probably a pretty humorous story. But if his family purposefully keeps you out of the joke and doesn't explain why it's so funny, it might be smart to start wondering why. You can always ask about the joke. This makes them have to tell you the story. But if you aren't aggressive, laugh along and don't let it be apparent that being left out bothers you.

8 His Brothers And Sisters Spill The Beans

 Kids say the darnedest things, right? When your bae has younger brothers and sisters, they might repeat painfully truthful things that they've heard their parents say out of your earshot. It could be as truthful as, “Why doesn't mommy like you?” or something more cloaked like, “Daddy says you show off your melons too much. What kinds of melons do you have? I really like watermelon!” When it comes to kids, saying the least is probably best. Or just change the subject completely. Take advantage of short attention spans. Then you can think about what to do with the information.

7 His Parents Have Said “We Don't Like You”

 You might overhear your boyfriend's mom on the phone or they might say it to your face. If for some reason his parents openly admit they don't like you, take it very seriously. But instead of getting angry, ask them why and if there's any way you can change their thoughts or feelings. Obviously, there was something that caused them to think so negatively of you. Find out what it was and work to change their opinions. Keeping the attitude that you don't care what they think is wrong, because they could come to affect the outcome of your relationship.

6 His Mom Invites His Ex-Girlfriend Over To Visit

 This is probably one of the most uncomfortable situations you can find yourself in with a new boyfriend. If his mother and ex-girlfriend got along incredibly well, chances are they will still talk. But when she invites the ex-girlfriend over when you are visiting, then you can safely assume she's out for blood. Don't let her win; keep your cool and act like it doesn't bother you at all. Chat in a friendly manner and ask the ex questions like you're interested. Who knows, you may end up liking her and then his mother will be the one feeling uncomfortable.

5 They Try To Force You To Go To Church

So you aren't a church-goer and your boyfriend's family probably has some thoughts about that. They despise the fact that you stay home in bed while they all attend mass. If one of his parents approaches you and asks you to repent or accept Jesus Christ into your heart, they probably think you need to be saved or reintroduced to religion. You could look at this as they are looking out for you. Or it's possible they think you are severely misguided or headed down the wrong path. If it's the latter, they probably don't think very highly of you.

4 His Parents Avoid Speaking Directly To You

 This is an odd sort of behavior. Many times when his parents aren't comfortable with you, they won't speak directly to you. They will ask your boyfriend questions about you rather than ask you directly. They will laugh and joke with your boyfriend, but usually leave you out of it. This might be a sign they want nothing to do with you. Actions like this can make things very awkward. To break the awkwardness, ask them questions directly and speak directly to them to force them to give you attention. Joke with them casually to make them feel at ease.

3 They Never Speak Of A Wedding

 It's pretty clear his parents don't like you when you bring up the subject of getting married and they change the subject rapidly. It's obvious at this point that talking about getting married makes them very uncomfortable. This is a definite sign they don't see you being with their son long-term or that you're not “the one.” This will take some serious investigation to find the root of their dislike and how you can work to change that. This might be a good time to ask your boyfriend what you could do differently to make a positive impact on them.

2 They Don't Share Food

 You might think that sharing food with your boyfriend's parents is pretty strange. But sharing food is a sign of being comfortable with someone else. Sharing food can be as simple as eating out of the same bag of chips. When his parents watch you eat and don't eat with you, it's possible that they aren't comfortable around you. A study done at the University of Antwerp in Belgium found that sharing food naturally brings out everyone's social side. So if his parents aren't sharing food with you, either they aren't social or don't want to be social with you.

1 You Can't Make Them Laugh

 If you're a naturally funny person and have an easy time making people laugh, you would think that making your boyfriend's parents laugh is easy. But if they aren't even smiling after one of your jokes, there's a good chance they don't care for you—or your goofy antics. If making jokes isn't resting well with them, try a different approach. Compliment them or ask them questions about what they do. Make it seem as if you are truly interested in who they are as people. Once you have won their respect, then maybe you can start cracking your jokes again.


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About The Author

Kayla Herrera (1 Articles Published)

Kayla Herrera freelanced her way through school, landing her an editorial internship with Game Informer Magazine straight out of college. She was on the writing team for NCSoft's massive multiplayer online game, Blade & Soul set to release this winter. And she was an editor for marketing start-up, All Day Media, heading 12 writers and striving for content of quality. She's a true gamer at heart and loves spontaneous trips to Santa Monica Pier.

More From Kayla Herrera

How to understand that he is not in the mood for a serious relationship: signs

No one wants to waste time on a relationship that will end in a month. But it’s one thing if you just don’t suit each other, and it’s completely different if a man is initially set up only for sex without obligations - and then as long as it’s convenient for him. The question is how to recognize what he really wants? Here are 10 signs that he is definitely not planning anything serious.

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He doesn't use "we"

Speech is what gives men away in the first place. They know how to lie, they are able to come up with a legend and never make a mistake on the mismatch of small details, but it is ordinary, daily conversations that give them away. He will, of course, use the pronoun “we” because you cannot do without it, but it will always be said about the near future: “Are we going to the cinema tomorrow? Or how?" But not: “When we go to the sea, we ...” There is no “we” in connection with “when”. Because never. nine0003

He doesn't talk about his childhood

Because it's too intimate in the first place. And, secondly, any hint of a childish theme is a taboo for him. Just because he does not plan to have any children in common with you, which means that it makes no sense at all to give you food for thought on this topic. And if you ask - and you will ask, because you yourself probably already told him something about your childhood - he will answer that childhood was the most ordinary and there is nothing to remember at all. Can you imagine a boy who spent his childhood in such a way that there is nothing to remember about them? Here we are not. nine0003

He does not forget his things and returns yours to you

There are two versions of the reasons for this behavior, and neither is better. Both are worse. First, we, like animals, “mark territory”, leaving little things that are associated with our presence. And the fact is that if your "marks" do not make a man nervous, then he very quickly ceases to notice them. That is, he sees your lipstick on the shelf in the bathroom, perhaps it even annoys him because it comes to hand, but it never occurs to him to take a tube and carry it in his pocket until the next meeting. Simply because he will forget to either take it or give it away. If he remembers this, then "the case is a pipe." The second option is absolutely logical, without any reference to our instincts: forgotten things are an excuse for an extra meeting that he does not need. nine0003

He doesn't ask you serious questions

Not the slightest hint of pro-life talk: he is not interested in your family, your hobbies, your friends and your worries. He talks only about what is happening at the moment with both of you. He can discuss with you the movie you just watched, but he will never ask who your favorite director is and why. If you yourself start a conversation about what worries you, he will support it in exactly the way so as not to be involved in the problem. That is, he will sympathize, but will not offer help. nine0003


Slava and other stars who became parents early

Nastya Slanevskaya became a star by accident. In 2002, director Sergei Kalvarsky noticed the girl in karaoke. So Anastasia turned into the singer Slava. At 17, Anastasia Slanevskaya became pregnant. Alexandra's daughter's father, Konstantin Morozov, was in business, but he and Slava had different outlooks on life. Soon after the birth of Sasha in 1999, the couple broke up, but Slava did everything possible so that her child did not need anything. Now Anastasia already has two children: the eldest Alexandra and the youngest Antonina, who was born in 2011 from businessman Anatoly Danilitsky. Young Sasha already has a serious relationship, but Slava is not afraid that her daughter will repeat her fate. The singer is sure that she will be a great grandmother. nine0003

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He doesn't help you "like a man"

Whether we like it or not, some small household chores are still divided into typically feminine and typically masculine. This system works, and we turn to it daily: if you need help preparing a festive dinner, you will most likely call a friend, and if your tap suddenly broke or another gadget collapsed, you will most likely ask a man for help . So, this man will refuse you. He will refuse with a completely logical wording: he does not understand anything about this, let the professionals do their job. But a man who is in the mood for a serious relationship wants to show his young lady that you can rely on him in everything, even if his hands do not grow from where they are supposed to. Therefore, he will take a tool and pick the unfortunate pipe until one of them breaks: either he or the pipe. A man who does not have serious intentions does not care about all these "marriage games". He is not going to prove to you that he is the coolest and most reliable male here. nine0003

He gives you gifts that you can give to any other girl.

Flowers, candy, spooky cosmetic baskets Everything that you can give to any girl at any time. There is not the slightest interest in your personality in this, that's all. It is clear that at the beginning of a relationship it is hard to guess what will delight you, because we girls are very different: give one a pendant with an emerald, and the other a certificate for a parachute jump. But a man in love is able to remember the name of your favorite author, the brand of your favorite perfume, or at least your taste preferences. But it's in love. And this one is not. This one will bring milk chocolate and roses. Because it will do. nine0003

He is always busy

Always. There has never been a case that you called, and he did not turn off the conversation, citing urgent matters. He never answers SMS and messages on social networks immediately, he does not pick up the phone, although you know that right now he got into a taxi and he has absolutely nothing to do there. Then he will apologize, tell that he could not answer in any way, forgot to turn on the sound, or something else happened to him. But in fact, he just teaches you that it is he who will decide when you communicate. One fine day, you will just get used to calling him yourself. And on another fine day, he will not call himself - well, that's all, in fact. Like there was nothing. nine0003

He doesn't introduce you to his family

With friends, please. It may very well be that literally after the second date he invited you to his best friend's birthday. It’s not worth deceiving yourself: some men still perceive a woman as a trophy, they are not averse to showing off her to their friends. The main indicator is the family: if you don’t know anything about his loved ones and he’s not going to introduce them, well, you understand.

He doesn't ask you for help

You, in principle, could come and feed his cat while the owner is away, but for some reason the neighbor does it. You have an extensive circle of professional acquaintances, but he does not ask for your advice if he needs a specialist from your field. He doesn't ask you for anything at all. And this is a sign that he is not going to stay around for a long time.

He directly tells you that he does not want a serious relationship

On the one hand, what a pity that you got such an enchanting woodpecker. What made him think that you were counting on something serious?! On the other hand, well, thank the gods that you have every reason to say goodbye to him right away. Because the phrase "I'm not ready for a serious relationship right now" implies only one answer: "Well, come on, goodbye!" nine0003

How to understand that a man doesn't care and he is with you out of boredom: signs

We can't say better than the classic: “Don't cry, don't cry, my child, He's not worth the crazy torment. Believe, he caressed you jokingly, Believe, he loved you out of boredom! "(c) But how to understand that these lines are about your relationship? Here are 10 sure signs.

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Relationship psychology

Male psychology nine0003

Psychologist's advice


The initiator of the relationship is you

No, this is not about the “first step” - it doesn’t matter which of you takes it, if your feelings are mutual. We are talking about a situation in which a man behaves according to the principle “I want something, but I don’t know what”, and you are pushing him towards a relationship. When we were little girls and spoke to each other frankly, but very cruelly, it was called "You run after him." Now we say, "You initiate the relationship." But the essence, in fact, does not change: offering a relationship to a man and insisting on them are two big differences. And if you insisted, if you “wanted” his love, then this is a sure sign that he is with you out of boredom. nine0003

The main thing in your relationship is sex

In other words, you never have meetings without sex. Your man will refuse to spend time with you unless the date ends in bed. He will not go to the cinema with you on Sunday morning, so that immediately after the session he will part until the next meeting. He will not go to a party with you, after which you will need to go home. But he will not refuse to come to your house - in the event that you explicitly invite him for the night.

But in bed he thinks only of himself

If you have a lot of sex in your life, but you don’t get pleasure, you most likely got into a relationship with a guy who doesn’t care about you. And it is important to understand from the very beginning that the problem is not in you, but in him. The way he treats you. A loving man may be a completely inept lover, but he cannot be inattentive. That is, if this guy really loved you, he would notice that something was wrong. If you see that a one-sided game is being played in bed, it’s bad. nine0003

He does not care about you

However, if sexual difficulties can still be attributed to a mismatch of temperaments, a man’s inexperience, or even to your own intimate difficulties, then this number will not work with care: you just need to be in a difficult situation once. situations to understand why this man stays with you. And we are not talking about some kind of tragedy: just catching a cold is enough. He calls and asks how are you feeling? He asks if you need medication? After work, does he come to your place and bring ready-made food and some cute movie? If yes, congratulations: he loves you. If not, alas: he does not have any feelings for you, he is just killing time with you. nine0003

He never says "we"

Speech is what betrays men in the first place. They know how to lie, they are able to come up with a legend and never make a mistake on the mismatch of small details, but it is ordinary, daily conversations that give them away. He will, of course, use the pronoun "we" because you can't do without it, but it will always be said about the near future: "Are we going to the cinema tomorrow, or what?" But not: “When we go to the sea, we ...” There is no “we” in connection with “when”. Because never. He knows that you will never have anything serious, so why say "we" about a future that will not become a present? nine0003

He doesn't introduce you to his relatives

With friends, that's welcome. It may very well be that literally after the second date he invited you to his best friend's birthday. It’s not worth deceiving yourself: some men still perceive a woman as a trophy, and are not averse to showing off her to their friends. The main indicator is the family: if you know nothing about his loved ones and he is not going to introduce them, this is not a relationship, but their appearance.

He controls the time you spend together

You rarely call him because you know that if he doesn't want to, he won't pick up the phone. And he won't answer the message either. He calls you when he wants to, and makes an appointment when it suits him. And he simply cancels it, because "it felt like it. " Then you can find out that he "wanted" usually means that he was somewhere having fun with friends.

He is not interested in what is happening to you

Not the slightest hint of talking “for life”: he is not interested in your family, your hobbies, your friends and your experiences. He talks only about what is happening at the moment with both of you. He can discuss with you the movie you just watched, but he will never ask who your favorite director is and why. If you yourself start a conversation about what is bothering you, he will change the topic or silently listen to you, without reacting in any way. The worst thing is that at this moment you can feel guilty: why, they say, burden a man with your petty problems? In fact, only one person is to blame here, and that is him. Basically, he's brainwashing you, you know? nine0003

And he's not ready to help you

Nothing. It is useless to complain to him that your laptop is broken, the tap is leaking, or you are sent on a business trip, and you have absolutely no one to leave the cat with. Your man will come up with any excuse, but will not help you. At the same time, any means of influencing him will not help you: if you insist, "kitty will be offended", yes. And will ignore you until your problem is solved.

He doesn't need proof that you are his woman

In love, everyone is an owner: both men and women. At the moment of falling in love, in that very “candy-bouquet period”, we are all terrible, terrible, completely insane owners. We need constant confirmation of our partner's love. We need to know that it belongs entirely to us, and we demand proof. This short-term madness overtakes everyone without exception. If your man absolutely does not care if he is the center of your universe, this is not your man. This is a man who meets with you out of boredom.

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