Should i stay with him quiz
Should I Stay With My Boyfriend Quiz
Relationships can be the most beautiful thing in the world. Still, they can also be the most challenging and confusing at times, especially when you hit a point in your relationship where you are contemplating a break-up. If you have started asking yourself if you should break up with your boyfriend or stay with him, navigating through that question might be creating feelings of anxiety and fear if you are not sure which answer is right. Take this short quiz to determine if you should start planning the process of breaking up with your boyfriend or if you should plan on staying with him.
Questions Excerpt
1. Are you still having sex regularly?
A. Not at all
B. Sometimes
C. Most of the time
2. Do you feel like you and your boyfriend are on the same page regarding what you both want, or are you feeling like you are on different pages?
A. I really don’t feel like we are on the same page at all
B. I used to feel like we were, but lately, it doesn’t seem that way
C. I do feel like we are on the same page, but we just need to get over this hump. I have hope for our future, but only if things get better.
3. Do you feel like you still enjoy each other’s company and doing things together, or do you feel more like you are going through the motions?
A. Definitely going through the motions
B. A little bit of both at times
C. We do enjoy each other’s company, but I don’t think we spend nearly enough quality time together or doing things we both enjoy anymore
4. Do you feel like you are always on edge or walking on eggshells when you are around your boyfriend?
A. Yes, all of the time (nearly every day)
B. Frequently (several times a week)
C. Sometimes (1-2 times per week)
5. Do you often feel hurt, neglected, not cared for, or like your feelings don’t matter?
A. Yes, all of the time
B. Only when we are fighting, and it has become frequent lately
C.
Sometimes, but I think he is working on that
6. Have you had an honest discussion with your boyfriend about how you are feeling and communicating your needs?
A. Yes, but nothing changed
B. It is awkward for me to explain how I am feeling, and I am not the best at expressing myself, but I am trying
C. Yes, and I think he understands my concerns and is willing to make some changes
7. Do you feel valued in your relationship? Are your emotional needs being met?
A. No, and when I try to express those things, it just turns into a huge argument, and nothing ever changes, and he doesn’t see it.
B. Most of the time, I don’t, but sometimes I do
C. I am confused, but it isn’t that he disrespects me
8. Would you rather spend time with your friends/family than with your boyfriend if you had the option?
A. Yes, definitely
B. Sometimes, but I do still enjoy spending time with him when we aren’t fighting
C. Not really. I enjoy time with them, but I wouldn’t say I prefer it over spending time with him.
9. Have you always felt less important or unappreciated in your relationship?
A. To some degree, there has always been an imbalance, but it wasn’t like it is now
B. There were always times where I felt that way
C. No, it wasn’t always this way
10. When you picture your future, do you picture it with him?
A. No, it is hard for me to envision marriage and a family with him
B. Sometimes, but I just try not to worry too much about the future
C. I do, but things will need to get better if we are going to have a future
Is It Time to Leave Your Relationship? Love Quiz
When asked what advice he would give his younger self, Dr. Gottman said “Get out of bad relationships sooner.”
When asked what advice he would give his younger self, Dr. Gottman said “Get out of bad relationships sooner.”
When asked what advice he would give his younger self, Dr. Gottman said “Get out of bad relationships sooner.”
The idea that the love in your relationship has expired is a difficult thought for one to stomach.
When love turns into hate and fondness into bitterness, and when negative sentiment override seems to be dominating your interactions, it’s likely a good time to question whether or not it’s worth staying in a relationship that simply may not be making you (or your partner) happy.
In these instances, the best thing partners can do is to walk away. When asked what advice Dr. John Gottman would give his younger self, he replied, “Get out of bad relationships sooner.”
Sometimes relationships get so turned around that you can’t tell if it’s time to leave or not. But your breakthrough research with thousands of couples discovered six telltale signs that can predict with over 94% accuracy whether a couple will break up within the next four years:
Sign #1: The Story of Us
The easiest way to tell if a relationship has passed its expiration date is to listen to the Story of Us couples share about their relationship’s history, philosophy, struggles, and achievements. If their memories are mostly positive, even with a fair dose of negativity regarding regrettable incidents, then there’s hope.
But if negativity takes over—if it becomes difficult, even impossible, to remember the good times and couples focus only on the bad—then that’s what we call the “Story of Us Switch.”
Think of this as a light switch. When it is turned on, love fills the relationship with positive stories, keeping irritability and emotional distance in the closet, even if there are some difficulties. But when the light is turned off, negativity takes over and the Four Horsemen likely charge in constantly. This is when partners begin to assume the worst about each other.
We call this a switch because we rarely saw a range of memories in our research. Couples seemed to either have joyful memories (even with a mix of negativity), or entirely bitter ones.
Whether the light is turned on or off is determined by the cumulative trust or betrayal each partner remembers.
The future success of your relationship is determined by the way in which you tell your Story of Us. If your relationship has all five telltale signs below, it may be time to break up.
In addition, the brief quiz at the end, adapted from the book “What Makes Love Last?” will give you a sense of whether to stay in your relationship or consider moving on.
Learn how to predict the future of your relationship in the all new Gottman Relationship Adviser
View Details Sale! View DetailsGottman Assessment
$39.00Gottman Relationship Adviser
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The Gottman Relationship Adviser, the world’s first complete relationship wellness tool for couples, takes the guesswork out of improving your relationship. Measure your relationship health with a research-based self-assessment, then receive a tailored digital relationship plan proven to heal and strengthen your connection.
Sign #2: Weak Fondness and Admiration
There is a major difference between couples who last and couples who separate.
Happy couples tell their Story of Us with warmth, affection, and respect for each other.
Couples who break up tend to recall unfavorable first impressions with their partners. The words they use to describe their relationship feel cold. The story unhappy couples tell will focus on a major blowup rather than a fun time or happy memory.
Sign #3: Me-ness Dominates We-ness
Happy couples tell their stories with a sense of “we-ness,” or of solidarity. You get the feeling that they are “in this together.” Often their words show similar beliefs, values, and goals.
When the solidarity and togetherness is lost, partners often describe their history in a way that emphasizes how it affected them individually (“me-ness”), rather than as a couple. They prioritize getting what they want and ignore their partner’s needs.
Conflict is inevitable in every relationship. Unhappy couples become gridlocked by these arguments because they are focusing on me, not we. When they each try to win, they become trapped in the roach motel, where there is no solidarity in the relationship.
Sign #4: Impersonal Details of Partners
When couples have vivid and distinct memories of each other, it’s a sign that they understand and respect each other, and that they know each other well and do their best to be there for each other. It’s important to know what makes your partner sad or happy, or what your partner cares about.
Couples who lack this connection do not reminisce with humor or vivid memories. They talk about their history in an impersonal way, mentioning nothing specific about each other. It’s easy to hear that they have lost their Love Maps to each other’s hearts.
Sign #5: Relationship Struggles Push You Apart
Couples who talk about their history as chaotic are often unhappy. The stories they share are not about pulling together or learning from negative experiences, or of making light of them even if they were difficult at the time. It’s clear that the past troubles and conflicts did not strengthen their bond. It pushed them apart.
Happy couples, on the other hand, express with great pride their ability to overcome difficult times together.
They glorify the struggle and talk about how it strengthened their bond. They were able to use it as a catalyst to grow closer together. When you talk to happy couples about the hardships they faced, you get a sense that they steered their own course together. These couples share profound meaning together and a life of purpose.
What matters is how couples interpret the negative and positive events in their history. Even if there are a number of negative events, happy couples can discuss how they grew together from those events—even if they resulted in a temporary disconnection.
Sign #6: The Relationship Falls Short of Your Expectations
It’s a clear sign a couple is at risk of splitting when one partner expresses disappointment in how the relationship has ended up. When these partners recall choices in the past, they often express cynicism about long-term commitment. And when they make those cynical statements, they are short, and they don’t try to explain the nuances of the situation.
Satisfied partners believe their relationship has met their expectations. A happy couple describes knowing that their partner was right for them, even if they faced some trouble along the way.
When we compared the stories of couples, those who would remain married and those who would split became very clear. If a relationship has all five telltale signs, then the negative switch has been made. Once the negative “Story of Us Switch” is clicked, it is very hard to reverse. Any intervention is most likely too late, even if one partner tries to make changes. At that point, it’s best for partner partners to let go and walk away to avoid suffering, and so that they can find happier and more stable relationships.
Have you ever wondered if it’s time to leave your relationship? It’s a tough decision. The Gottman Relationship Adviser can help you answer that question. The world’s first complete relationship wellness tool for couples takes the guesswork out of improving your relationship.
Measure your relationship health with a research-based self-assessment, then receive a tailored digital relationship plan proven to heal and strengthen your connection.
For a more in-depth analysis of your relationship health check out the Gottman Assessment, a virtual relationship evaluation tool for couples.
Do you agree with statements like: “my partner understands me” or “I don’t think the struggle in this relationship is worth it”? Take this free quiz and find out how well you know your partner while learning more about your relationship.
Subscribe to the Gottman Blog below to receive more research-backed information for cultivating healthy, successful relationships:
Sign up for the Love Notes Newsletter
Get the latest on relationships, parenting, therapy and more from the experts at The Gottman InstituteKyle Benson
Kyle works in The Love Lab where he nerds out on the science of relationships.
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Psychological test To leave or stay? Relationship test indicator. • Center for psychological assistance "New Decision"
This test was compiled by family psychologists of our center. It will help you understand the state of your relationship. Are they strong enough or cracked? Is it worth repairing this relationship or is it time to leave?
Like any test, our questionnaire shows the approximate state of affairs in your couple. You can get a more accurate diagnosis and recommendations at an in-person consultation with a family psychologist. nine0003
Please answer all questions on the test.
Name *
Email *
I want to receive newsletters and agree to the privacy policy *
1. I feel disappointed when I think about our relationship. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
2.
My husband (wife) has many good character traits. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
our relationship. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
We met. * nine0003
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
5. We can say that our couple does not live according to plan. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Absolutely agree
6. My husband (my wife) is an egoist (egoist) . *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Strongly agree
7. We love to make plans for the future together. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
moment I start to get angry.
*
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Strongly agree
9. It seems to me that together we can overcome the consequences of conflicts. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
10. My husband (my wife) thinks I am worse than I really am. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Strongly agree
11. My husband (my wife) always listens to me and thinks about my desires. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
companies of other people. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Strongly agree
13. My husband (my wife) admires my achievements. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
betrayal.
*
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Strongly agree
15. We are a wonderful family. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
relationship. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Strongly agree
17. We both remember our past together with pleasure. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Absolutely agree
18. I expected (was) different from family life. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Strongly agree
19. It's safe to say that we both have a "we" feeling, we think of us more as a couple than as individuals. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Strongly agree
that we often clash.
*
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Absolutely agree
21. I often hear unpleasant irony in my address from my husband (from my wife). *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
us starts the phrase, the other can continue and finish it. * nine0003
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
*
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
24. My husband (my wife) feels good about me. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Strongly agree
*
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Strongly agree
sad. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Strongly agree
27.
We love and respect each other. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
we can quarrel over it and never come to a compromise. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Strongly agree
29. My husband (wife) has strengths that compensate for my weaknesses. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
30. My husband (my wife) often declares his love for me . *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Strongly agree
property. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
32. We have something to talk about and we are happy to do it . *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
happy (happy) for me.
*
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Absolutely agree
time or divorce. * nine0003
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
35. I appreciate our family. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Strongly agree
love for me. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Strongly agree
*
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Strongly agree
wives). *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Strongly agree
39. We have achieved a lot together and we enjoy our life together. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
40.
I am proud and admire my husband (wife). *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Absolutely agree
*
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Strongly agree
43. My husband (my wife) often raises his voice at me. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
44. We share each other's values and views. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Absolutely agree
45. My husband (my wife) is gentle (gentle) with me. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
46. I want my husband (my wife) sexually .
*
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Strongly agree
47. When my husband (my wife) gets angry, he (she) says things that hurt me. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
48. My husband (my wife) talks to other people all the time that I'm crazy (crazy) *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Absolutely agree
49. My husband (my wife) often allows himself to speak negatively about my relatives. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
50. My husband (my wife) devalues my sexual preferences. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Strongly agree
*
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
52.
My husband (my wife) openly says they are disappointed inside of me. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Strongly agree
53. My husband (my wife) treats me worse and worse. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
54. I often get angry and upset when I am with my family. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Do not know
Rather agree
Strongly agree
55. I feel that my husband (wife) and I are very close. *
Strongly disagree
Rather disagree
Hard to say
Rather agree
Strongly agree
Psychological test about relationships: is it really time for you to break up? Ustaliy.ru
in Professional psychological tests, Tests about love and relationships
published Psychologist
This test was compiled by family psychologists.
It will help you determine the state of your relationship. Are they strong enough or cracked? Is it worth fixing this relationship or is it time to leave?
Like any test, this one shows the approximate state of the relationship in your couple. You can get more accurate diagnosis and recommendations from a family psychologist. nine0003
Like it?
17 Points
Yes No
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