Self respect in relationship
What is respect in a healthy relationship?
People have a lot of different ideas about what the word “respect” means. Sometimes, it is used to mean admiration for someone important or inspirational to us. Other times, respect refers to deference towards a figure of authority, like a parent, relative, teacher, boss or even a police officer. In this context, it is presumed that respect should be given to those who have certain types of knowledge and power. And then other times, respect means upholding the basic right that every person has to make their own choices and feel safe in their own daily lives.
In this post, we’re talking about respect in the context of dating. In a healthy relationship, partners are equals, which means that neither partner has “authority” over the other. Each partner is free to live their own life, which can include deciding to share some aspects of their life with their partner. Respect also means that, while we may not always agree with our partner/s, we choose to trust them and put faith in their judgment.
This trust can be built over time as your relationship progresses and you learn more about each other.
How do you show respect in a healthy relationship?
Respect in a relationship is reflected in how you treat each other on a daily basis. Even if you disagree or have an argument (and arguments do happen, even in healthy relationships!), you are able to respect and value each other’s opinions and feelings by “fighting” fair. Respect isn’t about controlling someone or making them do what you want them to do. Respect is actually about the freedom to be yourself and to be loved for who you are.
In a healthy relationship, respect looks like:
- Talking openly and honestly with each other
- Listening to each other
- Valuing each other’s feelings and needs
- Compromising
- Speaking kindly to and about each other
- Giving each other space
- Supporting each other’s interests, hobbies, careers, etc.
- Building each other up
- Honoring each other’s boundaries, no matter what
Self-respect
While it’s important to respect your partner in a relationship, it’s also really important to have respect for yourself, whether single or dating.
Self-respect is the key to building confidence and maintaining healthy relationships with other people throughout your life.
So, what is self-respect? Self-respect is acceptance of yourself as a whole person. It doesn’t mean you think you’re perfect; in fact, we all deserve respect even though we are NOT perfect. You have worth and value just because you’re you. Self-respect means you hold yourself to your own standards, and you try not to worry too much about what other people think of you. You take care of your body and mind (or you’re learning how!), whether that’s through eating healthy foods, moving your body in ways that feel good to you, reading and learning, going to therapy, practicing your faith or any number of things that honor who you are.
Do you have questions about what’s healthy/not healthy in a relationship? Are you concerned that your partner doesn’t respect you? Call, chat or text with a loveisrespect advocate today and let’s talk it out.
Answers shouldn’t be hard to find.
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Maintain Self-Respect in your Relationships — Mindsoother Therapy Center
Relationships are all about compromise and balance. They require us to listen to others, to voice our point of view, and to engage in a give and take. However, not all relationships are balanced. Sometimes we overstep our roles. We may assert our point of view so strongly that we cause others to act in ways that make them uncomfortable. Other times, we don’t stand up for ourselves. We follow along with what other people want to do, even if it does not align with our values. In relationships like these, it may be helpful to use the FAST skill to navigate difficult interpersonal situations—like setting boundaries, for example. FAST helps us keep our self-respect so that we feel good about our relationships.
F: Fair -
Being fair means being fair to others and to yourself.
Don’t put other people’s wants and needs above your own. Instead, balance your wants and needs with the wants and needs of the other person. Voice your point of view, listen to the other person, and take turns giving and taking. Then, you can find a happy medium that both of you are comfortable with. It’s also important to accept responsibility when you are wrong and be kind when others make mistakes. We’re all human and we should treat each other fairly.
A: no Apologies -
Don’t over-apologize, especially for things that are not your fault. When you say “I’m sorry” repeatedly, you are sending yourself the message that you are wrong and you’re lowering your self-esteem in the process. Before you apologize, ask yourself, “Does this situation call for an apology, or am I over-apologizing?” Be mindful of how often you apologize and only apologize when necessary.
S: Stick to your values -
You have every right to stick to your values; don’t feel that you have to do anything that goes against your values in order to please others.
For example, you should not have to abandon your family, friends, religion, or hobbies to continue a relationship. Consider what your values are before deciding on what to do. What is most important to you? How would you like to be seen and remembered? Then, act in ways that match your values.
T: be Truthful -
It’s generally best to tell the truth. Even a little lie can build up or cause others to lose trust in you. Sometimes we lie to avoid trouble, confrontation, or hurting someone’s feelings; however, in the long run, it’s best to be honest and work through it. Avoid lying and making excuses because they only hurt your relationships. Be honest and authentic as much as you can.
Relationships can be complicated at times. It’s not always easy finding balance while sticking to what you believe in. FAST can help you act in ways that increase your self-respect in relationships. As you build mastery of this skill, you can gain the confidence to stand up for yourself and enjoy healthy, balanced relationships.
Action steps, Boundary Setting, Family relationships, Self-improvement, Tips for Your MindEmily Zemanrelationships, self-respect, self esteem, self-help, balance
0 Likeshow it manifests itself and how to achieve it
Respect in relationships: how it manifests itself and how to achieve it: Unsplash/Katherine HanlonHealthy relationships are built not only on love, but also on mutual recognition of the partner's personality. How is respect shown and how can we learn to live in harmony with each other? Psychologists Emerson Eggerich, Christina Valentsova and Erich Fromm answer this question.
Showing respect in relationships
In the first moments of falling in love, people seem to be perfect for each other. Minor inconsistencies do not hurt until the romantic period passes and monotonous everyday life comes. During this period, it is important not to lose mutual respect in everyday life and make it part of a love relationship.
What is respect in a relationship?
It is expressed in respectful attention to the partner, interest in his aspirations, decisions and actions, in honoring his life goals and values. A couple living in harmony always communicates as equals. In a relationship built on respect, the value of each partner is recognized.
On a subconscious level, people converge with each other not only because of feelings, but also for the sake of comfort. Traditionally, each singles out his area of responsibility:
- A man takes on global issues of life and material well-being, takes care of the safety of his partner.
- A woman takes care of the emotional component of relationships, comfort and aesthetics of everyday life.
In this division, partners allow each other to have rights and obligations, learn to interact and negotiate, plan a common future and their own implementation. In the process of communication and living together, they get to know each other better, reveal controversial points previously hidden under the veil of love.
Author of the book Love and Respect. How to learn to understand your other half and find harmony in relationships ”Emerson Eggerich wrote that respecting a husband does not mean being weak-willed and irresponsible, ignoring your own opinion or putting a man’s needs above your own. In a relationship, both partners are equal.
Ideal people do not exist, everyone has features of appearance, character traits and standards of behavior. By not accepting each other's idiosyncrasies and uniqueness, partners become toxic and relationships quickly lose their meaning.
Partners share responsibilities: Unsplash/Becca TapertHow do you show respect in a relationship?
Appreciate the personality of a person, accept and love his features, show sympathy and support, provide freedom of action and the right to make mistakes. You can not limit, insult, humiliate and remake each other. In order to demonstrate a special relationship to a loved one, it is necessary to take into account:
- Desires and needs of a partner.
It is necessary to help in their satisfaction, because then there is a feeling of happiness and fullness of existence. - Personal characteristics of a loved one, his character, manners and habits. You should not try to change it.
- Each other's feelings and experiences. People need emotional support, they always look for it in intimate relationships.
- Interests and preferences of a loved one, his hobbies and hobbies. You can separate them or give the opportunity and time for the partner to implement them independently.
- Point of view, way of thinking, values, vision, picture of the partner's world.
- Plans, dreams, goals and understanding of the future of the one you love. It depends on them where a person aspires to.
- Social circle (family, friends, colleagues). It's good when partners have a common circle of friends.
- Image, manners, clothing style. Next to the second half should be comfortable, you can not be ashamed of each other.
In addition, one should take into account how a person manages personal time. It is important to spend enough time together and allow the person to be on their own. You can not limit, insult, humiliate and remake each other.
Tips on how to achieve respect in a relationship
Respect for each other is a necessary condition for the existence of a couple. The ability to love and accept a partner with all his strengths and weaknesses is the foundation of strong bonds. To develop it, you need to work on yourself and relationships.
How to achieve respect in a relationship?
To do this, you need to value other people's interests as your own, have warm feelings for each other, build trusting relationships, and don't forget about romance. You can not hang labels, fit a person to patterns, encroach on his personal boundaries.
Kristina Valentsova, author of the book My Man Doesn't Respect Me: What Should I Do? notes that many are accustomed to regularly condemn or ridicule other people, compare themselves with them, perceive themselves as a threat or an enemy.
We seldom say hello, even less often we thank, we lose respect for all those around us and our loved ones, thereby forming disrespect for ourselves.
Fortunately, everything can be fixed. The following recommendations will help in achieving mutual respect:
- Listen carefully to your partner, try to understand him.
- Demonstrate that the person, his desires and needs are important.
- Respond to requests, show care.
- Thank and admire your partner, emphasize his strengths. Compare him to other people only in a positive way.
- Keep secrets. Do not discuss your loved ones with other people.
- Praise your partner for the abundance of ideas, appreciate his initiative.
- Let the person act as he sees fit. Support his decisions.
- Appreciate the partner's contribution to the overall budget.
- Demonstrate the importance of his/her intangible contributions to relationships, emotions and feelings.
- Talk about love more often and that you are proud of your partner.
- Show mutual respect in private and in public.
In order for a couple to have mutual respect, each partner must value himself. Self-realization will help with this, because it is much easier to recognize a successful person than someone who is notorious and not satisfied with life.
How to restore respect in a relationship?
To regain lost respect in a relationship, you need to restrain your emotions and statements, show patience, understanding and attention to your loved one. You can not sort things out publicly, involve third parties in the conflict. It is important to find out the causes of the problem, discuss them with a partner, find a solution and come to an agreement. If necessary, contact a specialist who will help you find the right way to return mutual respect.
Psychologist, author of the book "Humanistic Psychoanalysis" Erich Fromm wrote that without respect for the one you love, and without the desire to get to know him more fully and better, love degenerates into domination over a person and possession of him as a thing.
This should be avoided. Even in the most harmonious couple, a crisis is possible, but this is not a reason to break off relations if love, respect and common interests are alive.
Here are some simple tips to help with this:
- Do not complain about your partner and relationship to strangers.
- Be careful in words, do not use sarcasm, do not hurt your partner.
- Learn to express your dissatisfaction correctly, do not show disdain, do not speak with irritation and impatience.
- Argue not to win, but to find a compromise. Handle disagreements calmly.
- Give your partner room to make mistakes. Accept his apology willingly.
- Admit mistakes, ask for forgiveness.
Do not be silent and do not accumulate resentment. Review conflict situations, take responsibility, change behavior where possible and necessary.
Mutual respect is the basis of healthy relationships between people.
It needs to be developed and strengthened by taking reciprocal steps towards each other. Thanks to the common work, relationships will become stronger and more comfortable.
Original article: https://www.nur.kz/family/relationship/1281225-uvazhat-zhenshhinu/
How respect is shown in a relationship: 10 signs Psychologist Irina Chesnova shows with specific examples how this respect can be shown.
Respect for needs and wants
A need is a need for something very good for oneself. The need for an external good. Any person needs food, security, rest, communication, acceptance, love. Needs are always good and natural. There is nothing shameful in needing, for example, support. Or in recognition. It's about feeling good and needed. And to be in silence and solitude.
Needs should not be critically assessed, nor should the other person's (or yours) have them "wrong" or stupid.
They are always correct! And they need to be treated with care and respect. Because the realized needs form the general satisfaction with life and a feeling of happiness.
- I am very tired, I need half an hour to rest.
How will you answer this?
- What was there to get tired of? He didn’t load bags!
This phrase does not respect the needs of another person.
— Of course, take a rest, you need to recover.
And this one has it. Now about desires.
- I really want pizza with bacon!
- Where else is pizza with your weight?
People who respect each other will never take a position of "above" in communication. Respect is first and foremost the recognition that your human value is equal.
- I really want pizza with bacon! - And I want ice cream! Even if it's very harmful. Well, let's go all out or show willpower? - this is how a conversation looks like between two people who do not put themselves either higher or lower than the other.
Respect for peculiarities
Your life together will be the more comfortable and happy, the better you can see and take into account what kind of person is next to you, what are his mental properties and character traits, what he is capable of, and in than its limitations.
— I can't do/decide this so quickly, I need more time!
- You're always slowing down! We need to think faster!
Here we see irritation and rejection that the other person is less quick and quick-witted.
- Okay, I'll wait until you finish. And tell me if I can help you with something? - a calm and respectful phrase in which there is no confrontation, but there is an offer of cooperation.
Respect for feelings and experiences
We are all living people, not robots. Sometimes something makes us very sad, pisses us off, angers us.
— I get very upset when you say such things...
— How gentle we are! Does it hurt your eyes?
This is neglect and the desire to hit harder.
- I'm sorry. This whole situation is very frustrating for me too.
This is how you show: I acknowledge your feelings, you and I are in the same boat. And cracks do not appear in your relationship.
Respect for interests and tastes
Examples of disrespect:
— Rather than go fishing (poking around with flowers), it would be better to read some smart book!
— Only dim-witted women watch such serials.
— How can you eat something like that? Looks terrible!
The tastes and range of interests of any person is a personal territory, completely inviolable for others (even those closest to you). If you don’t like that your loved one pays too much attention to their addictions, this can and should be discussed. But to criticize, to ridicule his hobbies "in general" is a blow below the belt and absolutely unacceptable things in a respectful relationship.
Respect for values
Values are something that is of great importance to us, what we firmly believe in, what we stand on.
This is our attitude to the fundamental things in life, our ideas about acceptable behavior, our internal obligations to ourselves.
- Instead of going to my parents to dig a garden, you could take me to the sea! - here there is disrespect for what is important for a man - to help elderly parents, to be a good son.
- I know that your parents need help. But I also want to go to the sea. Let's think about how we can combine it so that everyone is satisfied.
By acknowledging your partner's values, you can expect him to be considerate of what is dear to you.
Respect for the point of view / vision / picture of the world
- Only people who are behind the times can talk like that!
- You don't understand anything and you haven't smelled life.
Is it nice to hear this in a conversation when you express your point of view? Of course it's unpleasant. Nobody is uncomfortable. And how can you respectfully express your vision, which is different from the vision of another? Very simply - with the words “I have a different opinion” (followed by an opinion starting with the words “I believe that”, “I believe that”, “my experience says that”) or “I disagree / I do not agree".
Respect for plans and aspirations
— I want to get a second education.
- Are you out of your mind? So much time and money to spend on it! You do not need it!
“You have no right to your own development and your own life, I will decide what to do and what is good for you,” this phrase seems to say. Here the partner is perceived not as a separate person with his own free will and the right to dispose of himself, but as the property of another.
— I want to get a second education.
- I'm not sure if now is the right time for this, but if this is your decision, I will support it.
You do not have to accept all the intentions of your spouse with enthusiasm, you may doubt their expediency and prospects. But in any case, your loved one is an adult, and he is able to make life choices and be responsible for them.
Respect for social circle
— What can you have in common with these strange personalities with whom you communicate? They are not worth your time!
The social circle, like tastes, like the circle of interests, like the outlook on life, is yours personally.
No one can invade this zone with their opinion and advice, if these tips were not asked. We are friends, communicate with someone, because we are interested in them, we are connected by some kind of our own, unique story and emotional attachment. To respect these stories and the emotional attachments of your loved one means to respect him, his personal space.
— You know I don't feel very comfortable with your friends, but you feel good with them. Well, great, meet, chat.
Friendship is wonderful. Respect for the social circle is another thread that will strengthen your union, make it strong and safe.
Respect for choice
— Look what I bought myself!
— Could/should have found something cheaper/more practical/better! - and again we hear here neglect, disapproval, confidence that the other is not able to make a good choice, the desire to assert oneself and at the expense of a loved one to find peace of mind.
Everything that another chooses for himself is good, practical, right for him personally.
