How to gain confidence with girls
25 Ways to Masterfully Make Conversations With Girls
Some guys seem effortlessly suave with women. They know the right gestures, compliments, and questions to make her swoon over him.
Others feel impossibly shy or anxious every time they try to approach a girl. Maybe their palms get sweaty, they feel awkward, or they stumble over their words. If this is you, don’t worry!
Talking to women is a skill, just like riding a bike or working on cars. Once you acquire the tools of the trade and start practicing, it can become second nature.
If you’re wondering how to make conversation with a girl so she’ll like you and maybe go on a date with you, here are 25 actionable secrets:
25 Ways to Start a Conversation With a Girl
While you may think it’s just good looks that win over ladies, women are almost always more impressed by charm and wit. Good looks and confidence may attract her initially, but the dating game is about conversation and personality.
#1 Build up your confidence with these tricks
We don’t need massive research to know that confidence is ridiculously sexy. Nonetheless, the time has proved that women prefer confident men and find them more desirable as romantic partners.
But how do you build confidence from thin air?
You don’t… It takes time and self-work.
However, there are some things you can “fake ’till you make it.” If you want to be more confident as you approach a woman, try these hacks:
- Hype yourself up: Positive internal dialogue is closely associated with higher self-esteem. Right before you try to talk to a girl, internally tell yourself some positive affirmations like “I’ve got this,” “I am charming and interesting,” or “I’m unique and interesting to talk to.” Check out these 11 Scientific Strategies for More Confidence.
- Walk like a winner: Stand up tall and never make yourself small. Walk with a purpose as you approach a woman. Use these 4 Body Language Tips for Introverts and Shy People to Inspire Confidence.
- Talk with purpose: Vocal inflection drastically affects how women perceive you. Most women want to converse with a man who seems solid in his self-worth and knows his reason for being there. Avoid whispering quietly or in a high-pitched nervous tone. Instead, speak to her with conviction by:
- Using a lower voice (that’s still within your appropriate vocal range)
- Speaking from your diaphragm
- Maintaining a moderate volume
- Say don’t ask. Try to avoid using the question inflection accidentally on a statement. So say, “My name is ___.” Not “My name is ___?”
Want more? Check out How to Build Rock-Solid Self-Esteem in 8 Weeks (or less!) and try these body language hacks to appear more confident:
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#2. Read her body language to see if she’s interested
If you don’t know how to read a woman’s nonverbal signals, you could be dooming yourself to rejection from the very start. While women aren’t always known for being transparent with their words (ah, the dreaded mixed signals), they tend to be much more apparent with their body language.
At the very least, they will tell you if they’re uninterested…
To avoid wasting your time, search for these signs before you approach her:
Signs She’s Probably Interested(Approach!) | Signs She Doesn’t Want to Talk to You(Don’t Approach!) |
She holds your eye contact for more than 1-2 seconds (bonus if she winks, flutters her eyelashes, or looks over to you multiple times!) | Averts or avoids eye contact |
She “preens” herself by stroking or twirling her hair, re-applying lipstick, playing with her earrings, or checking her appearance in a mirror | She doesn’t make visible efforts to look more attractive |
Her body looks open (arms relaxed and freely moving or pushing chest outward) | Her arms folded, she is clenching her purse, or her chest is hidden |
She smiles at you (especially if she licks or bites her lip) | She frowns or holds a tense facial expression |
She faces you (with her head, torso, or knees) and leans toward you when you talk | She turns her body away from you or starts a conversation with somebody else |
She “accidentally” touches you or subtly brushes past you (women rarely feel someone they’re not interested in on purpose) | She avoids getting close to you or stands at a distance |
She sways her hips or flips her hair when she walks past you (often moving slower) | She quickly walks away from you with a rigid posture |
Try a test real quick. Would you try to go up to this girl and start a conversation?
How about her?
If you would approach the second but not the first, you’re on the right track. The first girl is on her phone, facing the other direction, and not returning eye contact. Marilyn is turning her body toward a guy she’s interested in, licking her lips, and making direct eye contact.
If this seems like a foreign language, learn more about Reading Female Body Language: 15 Cues to Reveal Attraction.
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#3 Make intentional eye contact
Speaking of eye contact, it’s an essential part of the dating game. Eyes are the windows to the soul, and interested women enjoy your eyes on them (why else would they put so much effort into their hair, makeup, and outfit?)
So what’s the trick to avoiding creepy eye contact…
And are they instead exchanging a sexy gaze?
Here are a few tips:
- Slowly exchange an initial glance
- Avoid darting your eyes toward or away
- Don’t stare for longer than 5 seconds
- Don’t stare at her breasts or body (look her in the eye)
- If you lock eyes, hold her gaze for 3-5 seconds, then slowly look away
- Don’t forget to blink normally
- Maintain eye contact for about 50% of the time while talking and 75% of the time while listening
Girls like to be looked at and will typically return your gaze if interested in you.
But if she looks uncomfortable or uninterested, steer clear:
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#4 Ask her name, then repeat it
This is one of the simplest tricks in the book. Once you know her name, you are no longer strangers. Asking her name also allows you to read her body language and warm up the conversation.
But to take it up a notch and stand out, you will want to say her name back to her.
In How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie famously wrote:
“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
Repeat her name after she says it, and throw in a little compliment or cultural reference if you’d like:
- Well, Jessica, it’s a pleasure to meet you.
- Zendaya, what a unique name!
- Oh, Logan like The Wolverine? (chuckle)
- Julia, that’s a beautiful name.
As a bonus, the repetition will help you remember her name, especially if it’s a unique one. If you’re unsure of the pronunciation, ask her how the spelling.
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#5 Give her a unique compliment
Men are constantly trying to figure out what women want. But the answer could be surprisingly simple. In a survey of over 64,000 women, what was the number one thing women desired in a man?
Not money.
Not height.
Not macho muscles.
It was kindness! Followed shortly after by supportiveness, intelligence, education, and confidence.
Complimenting a woman is one of the easiest ways to start a conversation. You’re showing her that she stands out to you, and you noticed something you like about her.
But the genuine flattery comes when you go for unique compliments beyond the bland “you are so pretty” or “I like your hair.” If you want to be memorable, try a compliment with a little more depth (just make sure it’s genuine and relevant to her):
- Your hair is stunning.
- Those earrings make your eyes sparkle.
- Your style is so unique.
- Your smile lights up this room.
- (At work or school) I admire your work ethic.
- (After a presentation) I loved the way you spoke so confidently on stage.
- Your eyes are captivating. Did you get them from your mom or dad?
- That color looks fantastic on you.
- Your skin is glowing.
And if you must compliment her body, try it in a non-creepy way. Women enjoy feeling sexy, but they don’t want to be like a piece of meat. Try these respectful compliments:
- You look incredible in that dress.
- That outfit looks great on you.
- You have an excellent physique. What kinds of workouts do you do?
At the very least, she will remember you. At best, she will continue the conversation or even ask for your number. While she may hear “you’re beautiful” regularly, guys don’t give these types of thoughtful compliments every day.
Keep in mind that kindness isn’t all about words. It should also combine with action…
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#6 Be chivalrous
Back in the day, it was commonplace for men to open doors, help women carry things, or offer their jackets when their lady was cold. However, in this day and age, these simple gestures can set you apart:
- Hold the door open for a woman entering a store, restaurant, or venue.
- If she drops something, pick it up for her.
- Pull out a chair for her to sit down.
- Walk on the outside (street side) of the sidewalk.
- Give up your seat on a public train or bus for her.
- Ask her if she needs help carrying a heavy item (but be careful not to insult her by asking to take super light bags).
- If you are talking in a social setting, always introduce her to others who approach.
- Show up or call her when you say you’re going to.
A genuinely good guy will do these things for women (young or old, attractive or not) regardless of their interests. After all, chivalry is about being a gentleman.
But the secret to turning a chivalrous act into a conversation is following up with a question or conversation starter…
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#7 Ask how she’s doing
While it may seem cliche, asking a woman how she’s doing is a great conversation starter in public scenarios. It’s low-pressure and quickly opens the door for introductions.
Put your twist on the question to show your personality:
- How’s your day going so far?
- How are you doin’ today/tonight?
- What’s the highlight of your evening?
- What’s up? How are you?
- How’s life treating you today?
- Hello Miss, how are you?
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#8 Introduce yourself
Sometimes formality isn’t a bad thing. Introduce yourself with a classic “I’m Rob, nice to meet you.” Keep introductions simple and personalized, for example:
- Hey, I’m Chandler. What’s your name?
- How’s it going? I’m Lee. I come here all the time and have never seen you before.
- My name is Brandon. What’s yours?
- Hello, I’m Jeff. How are you?
Depending on your situation or age, you may want to reach for a light handshake or nod.
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#9 Use a conversation starter
So you’ve analyzed a woman’s body language, approached her, and asked her name. Now what? Avoid the boring “where are you from?” or “what do you do?” and use an intriguing conversation starter to get things flowing:
- Tell me about you.
- What’s your story?
- Working on anything exciting lately?
- What are you into?
- Are you having a good day/good time?
- Have you been to this event/bar/restaurant before?
- What kind of music do you like?
Once you’re done with conversation starters, continue that development and dive into this ultimate toolbox on self-improvement. Check out this free goodie today:
Communicate With Confidence
Do you struggle with small talk? Do you often run out of things to say or feel awkward and self-conscious in social situations? Our Conversation Mastery Course teaches you the secrets of master conversationalists and gives you the skills you need to have confident, engaging, and captivating conversations with anyone, anywhere.
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#10 Ask about her passions and interests
Don’t be that guy who spends a whole date going on and on about himself. A conversation with a girl should be a mutual exchange, not a sales pitch of why you’re so great.
Express interest in her by asking:
- What are you passionate about?
- What’s your favorite band/musician lately?
- Do you have any hobbies?
- What’s your favorite thing about where you grew up?
- Do you do anything creative?
- Do you have any pets?
- What motivates you to get out of bed in the morning?
When a woman gets to talk about herself, it lights up the same parts of her brain as food, drugs, and sex. Give her a dopamine rush and show that you’re curious about her passions and interests.
Here are 450 Fun Questions to Ask People in ANY Situation.
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#11 Display open body language
Expansive body language is a crucial signal of confidence, poise, and dominance. Psychologists have found that women are more attracted to the perceived openness of expansive posture.
In other words, when your body language displays that you are “open” and specific (rather than hiding something or appearing unconfident), ladies are more likely to find you romantically appealing.
Here’s how to do it:
- Stand up straight and roll your shoulders back
- Exaggerate puffing your chest out and lifting your shoulders (just for a moment)
- Then, settle your shoulder blades back against your spine
- Keep your heart and pectoral muscles forward
- Make sure your hands are showing (keeping them in your pocket or hiding them in crossed arms can make you seem less trustworthy)
- Take a deep breath and settle into the posture with a straight spine and relaxed neutral head
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#12 Notice a minor detail and ask about it
Guys notice women’s hair, smile, and body all the time. But what about the subtle details? Everything a woman wears or carries is an expression of who she is. When you notice a minor point and ask about it, you can easily thread the conversation into deeper topics, for example:
- (If she has a book next to her) How do you like that book so far?
- (If she has a tattoo) What inspired your tattoo? Where did you get it?
- (If she’s wearing a logo shirt) I love that [band name] shirt. What’s your favorite song by them?
- (If she’s wearing jewelry) That’s a gorgeous necklace. What kind of stone is that? (maybe it’s her birthstone… then you can ask about her birthday, or perhaps it was her grandmother’s, and you can ask about where she grew up)
Pro Tip: Avoid mentioning anything that might make her feel insecure or uncomfortable. For example, don’t point out a scar or facial blemish. And don’t mention her bra strap subtly showing beneath her tank top. Most importantly, don’t say anything that could be perceived as insulting or a “backhanded compliment. ”
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#13 Offer to buy her a drink
If you’re at a coffee shop, bar, or brewery, buying her drink is a super-easy way to get talking. Spending a few bucks on a coffee or cocktail indicates that you’re a gentleman who is genuinely interested in a conversation.
This also gives you the opportunity to find out a little more about what she likes: black coffee or a latte? Is she into wine—red or white? Fruity cocktails? Be sure to ask her about her selection, especially if it’s unique.
Pro Tip: Be sure she is interested in you before investing any of your drink budgets. If you’re prone to people-pleasing, you’ll go broke trying to buy every pretty girl you see a drink. It helps to initiate a conversation before buying a drink.
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#14 Make a joke
Numerous studies have found that women are more attracted to guys who can make them laugh. Cracking a joke lightens the mood and shows your quirky sense of humor. Think of some clever one-liners or charm her with some spur-of-the-moment witty banter. Just be sure you avoid anything offensive or controversial.
While some guys are natural-born comedians, there are quite a few ways you can learn how to be funny. Here are 7 Easy Steps to Improve Your Humor.
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#15 Use a corny pick-up line
Speaking of humor, pick-up lines are some of the oldest tricks in the book. When used correctly, they show that you don’t take yourself too seriously and are not afraid to be silly. Context and reading her cues are vital for making this tactic work.
Watch this hilarious Battle of Pickup Lines on Steve Harvey’s show and try one for yourself:
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#16 Bring up thought-provoking topics
Studies show that the more physically attractive a woman is, the more likely she is to desire a more intelligent man. Once you warm up to each other, try bringing up intriguing discussion topics like:
- Science/Education: What’s your favorite documentary? What was your favorite topic in school?
- Nature: Do you feel connected to nature? Where’s your favorite natural place you’ve ever been? What’s your favorite plant/flower/tree?
- Books: Have you ever read a book that changed your life? Who is your favorite author?
- History: If you could live in any time period, what would it be?
- Technology: Do you think driverless cars will change society? What’s your opinion on robots and artificial intelligence?
- Business: What’s the most valuable thing you’ve learned in your line of business? Have you ever thought of starting your own business?
- Language: Do you speak any other languages? How did you learn? If you could learn any foreign language, what would it be?
You can bring these questions best after a conversation has already started flowing. Be sure you avoid awkward topics like politics, parents, or exes. Here are 7 Things You Should Never Say on a First Date.
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#17 Ask for her suggestion
Who doesn’t like to share their opinion? You can ask a woman for her suggestion in just about any scenario, then build off of her answer for a deeper conversation. For example:
- What’s your opinion on…?
- What’s your favorite thing on the menu here?
- I’m new to town. Are there any spots you think I should check out?
- Do you have a favorite movie or TV show recommendation?
- What song can you not stop listening to? I’d love some playlist suggestions.
- I’ve been looking for a new podcast/book/audiobook. Do you have any suggestions?
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#18 Notice more than her looks
Everyone wants to feel physically attractive. But as you get to know women, you will find that they appreciate a man who notices what’s below the surface.
Demonstrate that you’re not only into her for the physical by complimenting:
- Her mind: I like the way you think.
- Her intellect: You are so brilliant. You inspire me to learn more about…
- Her speech: You speak so well. Your voice is so unique.
- Her creativity: I loved that painting/song/poem/article you made. You are so creative.
- Her perspective: I enjoy the way you see the world. It’s always a pleasure to hear about your viewpoint on things.
Remember that these may be a little weird to say to a stranger. This approach works best for continuing a conversation with a woman you’re already slightly acquainted with at work, school, or a social group.
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How to Make a Conversation with a Girl Over Text
Once you’ve got a girl’s number or social media handle, you’ve got to pique her interest to keep the conversation going.
Few things are more boring than text conversations that go like this:
- “Hey, wyd?”
- “Not much, you?”
- “Nothing”
Spice things up with these easy ways to talk to a girl over text message:
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#19 Reference something she mentioned
Women value a man who listens to what she has to say. Show that you were paying attention during the last time you talked. Reference an inside joke, a topic, or something she said she was interested in:
- If she says she’s currently in school, ask her what she plans to do after college or her dream career.
- If she mentioned music, ask what playlist she has on repeat today.
- If she mentioned that she likes to travel, ask about her dream destination or if she has any upcoming trips planned.
- If she mentioned astrology, ask what her horoscope said today.
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#20 Send a photo of something that reminds you of her
This is a very thoughtful way to express interest in a woman without showering her with gifts or compliments all the time. When you’re out and about, notice when you come across something this girl likes.
Did you see her favorite breed of dog, walk past where you met, or a mural with an inspirational quote you think she’d like? Snap a pic, send it her way, and tell her you’re thinking of her.
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#21 Say something flirty or funny
If there is an undeniable sexual attraction between you and a woman, texting can be a great way to build tension. As long as you aren’t too raunchy, these flirty and funny texts could win you some interesting responses:
- The image of you in that dress last night is stuck in my mind.
- I can’t stop smiling when I think about last night.
- Do your legs hurt? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day.
Flirty texts often take women by surprise and make her day a little more interesting. They can also be corny enough to make her smile.
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#22 Ask more about her
Get past the small talk and simply dive into more questions about her. Show that you want to know more about her life and her interests. Here are 257 Juicy Questions that you can use to spark a random text conversation and set yourself apart from everyone else in her inbox.
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#23 Send her a good morning text
Most girls dream of waking up to a thoughtful, sweet text message from a guy they like. This sets the tone for a great day and (bonus!) also means that you’ll be on their mind. Try something like:
- Good morning gorgeous😍 Hope you have a fantastic day.
- I had the best dream about you. I can’t wait to see you later today❤️
- I hope your morning is as bright and beautiful as your smile.
- I woke up thinking about you. How has your morning been?
- How is the most beautiful woman on earth doing this morning?
Pro Tip: Using emojis in text messages helps portray when you’re joking, being flirty, or
Here are 45 Emoji Faces You Should Know and Their (Hidden) Meanings.
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#24 Invite her out
The best connections undeniably happen in person. If you’re not much of a texter, you can build up anticipation and excitement by keeping your text exchanges short. Simply invite her out to a movie, dinner date, or concert, then leave the text cliffhanging for your next interaction.
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#25 Avoid these two ultimate texting fails
Perhaps it should go without saying, but you should avoid this two epic text fails at all costs:
- Don’t complain about your emotions, your day, or negative things in your life. Keep things positive so she’ll want to text you more. However, don’t be afraid of being vulnerable, either, if you’re getting into a deep conversation.
- Don’t ask her for photos, especially not naked ones. This is the biggest turn-off for a girl.
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Key Takeaways: How to Start Talking to A Girl (With Confidence)
Ultimately, starting a conversation with a woman isn’t rocket science. It comes down to reading her cues, being polite, complimenting her, and expressing interest in her. The most important things to remember are:
- Approach confidently: Most women are seeking an assured man who is solid in his self-esteem and his masculinity. Expansive posture, a purposeful walk, and an assertive voice are crucial to becoming confident.
- Flatter her politely: Women love compliments, especially when you notice something about her that is subtle or specific. Catch her attention with a unique compliment about her beauty or smile, then keep the flattery coming by seeing non-physical attributes like her intellect and unique style.
- Focus on her: Asking about her life and interests is the easiest way to her heart. A lot of men focus too much on themselves. When you’re curious about her, she will probably return the interest.
- Be engaging: Set yourself apart and talk to her about things other guys don’t usually mention. Most women draw themselves to novelty and intellect. If you can make yourself stand out, she won’t forget you.
Starting a conversation with a girl doesn’t have to be complicated or awkward. Be yourself and take solace, knowing there are many (female) fish in the sea. If one conversation goes awry, you can use it as a lesson for the next!
If you want to uplevel your dating game, learn How to Flirt: 8 Tips to Make You The Master at Flirting.
4 Body Language Tips for Introverts to Inspire Confidence
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- Take Up Space
- Don't Cross Your Arms
- Don't Check Your Phone When You Are Nervous
- Use the Triple Nod
Many people worry that they have to be extroverted to use body language. But this is far from the truth! If you have shy body language or consider yourself an introvert, you can master body language and nonverbal behavior to strengthen your interactions and gain confidence.
Susan Cain, champion of Introverts and author of the New York Times Bestseller, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, argues that as a society we dramatically undervalue introverts. In her book, she shares the success stories of many introverts to persuade both extroverts and introverts alike to see the power in the quiet. Here’s a few of our tips for introverts:
Take Up Space
When you take up more space in your environment, this helps you claim territory and assert your confidence. So instead of crossing your legs or tucking in your shoulders and head, try being expansive. Keep your head high, your shoulders loose, sit larger in your chair and walk with long strides.
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Don’t Cross Your Arms
Defeated or low power poses lower your testosterone levels and increase your stress hormone cortisol. So avoid crossing your arms and tightly crossing your legs. Keep your trunk wide open to people around you. Remember, this shows you are approachable to others and keeps you in a more open-minded attitude.
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Don’t Check Your Phone When You Are Nervous
Introverts tend to check their phone when they are nervous, but this puts you right into defeated body language. So try to avoid checking your phone when you want to feel confident and again try to relax and be expansive. I know someone who carries a newspaper around with him because that is an easier way to take up space.
Special Note: I love this drawing by Gemma Correll –>
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Use the Triple Nod
The triple nod is the nonverbal equivalent of the ellipses or three periods. It is a nonverbal cue for someone to keep talking. If you are introverted and aren’t great at making conversations, you want to encourage the person you are speaking with to keep talking. Once they are done speaking and pause, nod three times in quick succession and they will often continue. If not, you can pick up where the conversation left off, but this is a great way of showing engagement and lengthening a discussion.
Simply being aware and wanting more open body language can help you engage people and have better connections.
Crack The Code on Facial Expressions
The human face is constantly sending signals, and we use it to understand the person’s intentions when we speak to them.
In Decode, we dive deep into these microexpressions to teach you how to instantly pick up on them and understand the meaning behind what is said to you.
Don’t spend another day living in the dark.
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How to win a girl's trust.
Successful relationships have a solid foundation - trust. When your attention is occupied by an attractive girl, and you want to win her favor, all your instincts will be directed towards achieving this goal. they are in no hurry to open up to a new person who has entered their life sphere. So trust has to be earned. It is believed that this process is not fast. We agree with this. However, after passing pickup training, you will learn how to win the favor of women's hearts in a short time. How to win the trust of any Virgo girl, you will also learn in an exciting pickup class.
There are certain behavioral and psychological trainings to change the image and character, with the help of which you can easily cultivate in yourself those traits that are most attractive to girls.
Ways to quickly win the trust of any girl
- Be real and sincere. Don't try to pretend to be someone you really aren't. If you're doing this to get a girl interested, she'll sense a catch, realize she's being played with, and put you on the list of those who can't be trusted. To quickly gain the trust of your girlfriend, find something that can unite you, be correct in a conversation, and listen more than you talk.
- Make eye contact. But do it right, don't stare like you've never seen a woman. So you will embarrass her, make her feel uncomfortable in your presence, any girl will only think about how not to lose face, slip on the street or choke on a cake in a cafe where you invite her. If you look at her like a basilisk, she will not only not trust you, but will try to retreat as soon as possible.
At the other extreme, you are so embarrassed at meeting that you are ready to look at anything, just not to meet her eyes. And if the girl you love can't catch your eye, she's bound to question your motives.
In general, this option will also lead you to a fiasco. The moments when the eyes meet should be brief but frequent. Do not allow arrogance and superiority in your eyes.
- If you want to win the trust of a Virgo girl, trust her yourself.
- Don't hide anything from her. No, of course, there is no need to tell everything, but what concerns your future with her should not be hidden from her. Do not forget that your relationship is a personal life, a space where others are not allowed. Therefore, never discuss your girlfriend with friends. Even if she is wrong about something, even if she offended you, it does not concern them.
- Do not lie to her even in small things. Little lies always hide big ones.
- Don't rush her with sex. Physical contact should be appropriate and optional.
Sometimes it seems that the relationship with a girl is quite successful, but something is still missing in them. If there is unreasonable jealousy, constant quarrels and tantrums on this basis, all these are manifestations of distrust. But only trust is a reliable foundation for successful relationships.
Very many girls are in no hurry to open up to a new person who is striving to enter their sphere of life. There are many reasons for this, but most often the girl was deceived and offended in a previous relationship, so her trust must be earned, and this is not a quick process, besides, in such situations, you always have to sacrifice something.
The main thing is to be sincere and real. You don't have to pretend to be someone you really aren't to get a girl interested. Sooner or later, the truth will still be revealed, and almost any girl is able to notice that she is being deceived. Only not everyone will talk about it openly, so it’s better not to deceive, because trust is built, among other things, on honesty. No need to lie, even in small things, because small lies give rise to big suspicions.
Another important aspect is that there is no need to rush. A person cannot be forced to trust, trust can be built on appropriate actions, and such a construction can take time, and sometimes not a small one. To win the trust of your girlfriend faster, you need to try to find something that can unite you, and in the process of talking, listen more than speak.
One of the main reasons for mistrust is jealousy (whether justified or not). If you want to earn trust, you do not need to give reasons for jealousy. So it will be necessary, except for the moments when it is really necessary (for study, work).
How to build trust with a girl?
And yet, the more time a girl spends, the more she understands what this person really needs. If a girl does not know where her boyfriend is, what he is doing, most likely, her thoughts on this matter will be impartial.
In any case, you need to remember that a relationship with a girl is a personal life, where others should not “get in”. You should never discuss your girlfriend with your friends, even if she has offended you in some way or is wrong in some way. This does not concern them, and you will resolve your differences yourself.
With intimate relationships until a trusting relationship is finally built. Sexual contact should always be appropriate and occur according to mutual desire.
And one more thing - trust must be mutual. And before building relationships built on trust, it would be nice to check the girl, what if she is registered on dating sites or there is other information about her. And after that, decide whether these relationships are necessary. It may well be that the girl is just passing the time "licking her wounds" after a painful breakup with another person.
In this article, we will talk about how to win a girl's trust and what you need to do to achieve this.
Let's start by deciding what stage your communication is at: either you just started dating her, maybe it's just, or maybe you've been in a relationship with her for a long time, but you have some kind of discord.
See how it can be applied:
But on a date, for example, to inspire confidence, you need to: Touch not immediately, everything is very gradual, show with your whole appearance that you are not at all attached to the result of your communication. Talk to her about her dreams, about what she wants in life, tell her about your desires, ask. Talk about childhood, who dressed up as whom at children's parties, who did what at school. Talk to her about your parents, tell her about yours, and ask about her.
How to gain trust girls? Cause different emotions, not only try to show your best side, but you can also tell a story about yourself that speaks about your jambs in life or cases when you had a hard time. There is nothing dumb and shameful here, she will simply understand that you are the same person as everyone else, like her. And you will have more confidence.
As for trust in relationships, everything is much more complicated here, especially if you screwed up. In order for a girl to start trusting you again, time must pass, and sometimes quite serious, for which you again showed yourself to be a good guy, and in order to speed it up, take care of her. Here, only deeds can cause her disposition towards you, words alone are no longer enough.
In this article, we talked to you about how to earn a girl's trust. But, in general, the word “Deserve” is somehow not very suitable here, you only need to deserve it if you screwed up, and if not, then it’s probably better to call it - to inspire the girl’s trust.
Restoring a girl's trust after a lie will not be easy. If you lied about the other girl, about cheating, or anything else that really hurt her feelings, it will be very difficult for you to win back her trust - very difficult, but possible. If you are honest, patient, and don't lie in the future, then perhaps slowly you can win back her trust and love. How to do it? Follow these steps.
Steps
Talk to her
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Sorry. If you want to regain her trust, the first thing you need to do is sincerely apologize for your lies and her hurt. If you cheated on her, cheated on the weekend with friends or withheld something about yourself - she will be hurt, she will be confused, for her, you will be a different person whom she does not know. Let her know that you are aware of how much you have made her life difficult and that you are very sorry for what happened.
- Don't say "I'm sorry" because "it's necessary" - say it because you think so. If you are not sincere, she will see it.
- When you ask for forgiveness, look into her eyes, speak slowly and lean towards her so that she can feel your attention.
- You do not need to apologize a hundred times - the main thing is quality, not quantity.
- Make it clear that you are aware of all the pain and suffering you have caused her. If she thinks you don't realize it, she won't want to listen to you.
- Make it clear that you, too, are hurt by your mistake, although in general, do not focus on yourself.
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Be sincere about your action. You don't need to go into details about what happened if you know it will hurt her more; be sincere about the reasons for your lies. Maybe you wanted to protect her, maybe you knew the truth would hurt her, or maybe you were ashamed of the truth and wanted to hide it. Whatever your reason, let her understand why you did it - this will show that you accept responsibility for your act, and that you have realized the gravity of what happened, for the future.
- Telling the truth about the reasons for your lies will make her feel that you will be honest in the future.
- Knowing your motives, she will be able to put herself in your shoes.
- Know when it's best not to tell the truth. If you wanted to spend time with another girl, out of boredom or desire, then it's best not to mention it.
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Promise it won't happen again - and be sincere. First, make sure this doesn't happen again. If you doubt your future actions and think that you can make the same mistake, then do not torture the girl and work on yourself before entering into another relationship. If you are confident that you can be trusted, promise her that such a story will not happen again.
- Be sincere. Do not promise empty.
- Let her know that your actions will be stronger than your words, and from now on your actions will live up to your promises.
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Promise you will change. Tell her that you will work on yourself to become a better, more collected person who will not lie to her. Be open, tell her that this process will take some time, reassure her that you will do your best to change for her. If you have a plan on how to change for the better, maybe a magazine, a psychiatrist, and anything that can help you become a more open and honest person - tell her about it, you will sound more truthful.
- Let her know again that you can't change overnight, but you are willing to do whatever it takes to win back her trust.
Return of her trust
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Give her time and space. After you've told her everything you wanted to say, you must give her time and space. The worst thing you can do is constantly pester her with your presence - don't "strangle" her with your insistence. Instead, let her know that you won't bother her and wait for her call when she's ready. This does not mean that you need to ignore her, it means that you need to step aside and give her time to think.
- You can text or call once every few days, but only if she wants to talk to you.
- If you want to be nice, you can send her flowers, but don't overdo it. If she is angry, then she may not be ready for your gifts yet.
- You can make a small gesture, like writing her a letter, letting her know what you think of her.
- If you meet, be friendly, but don't talk to her for too long, she might get the impression that you were waiting for her.
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Be patient. Time for a girl will be as important as space. You need to be patient and wait until she makes the first move instead of pretending like nothing happened or insisting. You need patience to do this, even if you spend a lot of time together, don't expect her to forgive you right away. Do not ask about her decision every two seconds, do not try to arrange romantic meetings - she herself must make the first move.
- Even if you spend time together, don't expect things to be the same. Be careful with touching, complimenting, and in general, during your meetings.
- Keep your nose up. It's okay that you want to be forgiven as soon as possible, but unfortunately that's not how the world works.
- Be yourself. You don't have to talk about this incident all the time. Just be careful, but at the same time, act natural and wait for her trust to return.
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Be reliable. If you want your girlfriend to trust you, be a reliable person, even if you weren't in the past. This means that you should always be ready to be there for her, to help, to keep your word, to be on time for dates - or even a little earlier.
- Try to be helpful and support her. Let her see that you will always be there. Even if you haven't attended her basketball games before, go and show that you care about her life.
- Let her open up to you, tell you about her problems. This will mean a return of trust.
- Be there, but don't run after her - be yourself and help her at the same time. You do not want her to think of you as a guy running after her, this will not play in your favor.
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Be available. If you want to win back a girl's trust, you'll have to be available to her. You don't have to fill her in on every detail of your day, but she needs to be aware of where you are at the moment or she will start to worry again. If she calls or texts you, you should call her back as soon as possible. If you make her wait for hours or days, she will begin to doubt that you can change.
- As if not on purpose, you can say what you will do during her absence. If you're going to a football game with your friends, buy her a toy with the logo of your favorite club. If you're going to your uncle's house on the coast, take a picture and send it to her, saying "I wish you were here too."
- Don't be weird. If you're spending time together and you need to leave, shine a light on her reasons for leaving.
- This does not mean that you need to have a GPS transmitter in your car - it means that it must have a general idea of what you are doing in order not to worry.
- Even if you're away for a few days, don't forget to contact her. Call or send a message to say how much you miss you.
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Continue to be sincere. As your meetings increase, continue to be honest. Talk to her if you're sad, confused, or hurt, and let her know if you're out of breath and can't keep up. She will want to know about your feelings in order to understand what is going on in your head. If you lie to her again, everything will be over between you.
- Be calm and tell her what's on your mind. Slowly, trust will begin to return to you. You don't have to say "everything" that's on your mind, but try to be open to her.
Save her trust
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Make her feel special. Her trust may be returning, but how do you keep it? She needs to feel special, that she means a lot to you, and that you won't lie to her in the future. Act like a gentleman, invite her on romantic dates, compliment her appearance and personality, and show interest in her hobbies and accomplishments.
- If she looks pretty, don't be afraid to tell her.
- Send flowers or a love poem if you feel like it.
- Ask her opinion, maybe it will be your new hairstyle or some other event.
- Take an interest in her life. Ask about her family, her studies, or even ask about her childhood.
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Open up to her. If you want to keep her trust, then learn to open up to her. Tell her things about yourself that you've told almost no one - or no one at all - and she'll see that you really trust and care about her. If you share personal information, she will understand that you trust her opinion and want to be completely honest.
- You don't have to talk about every detail that makes you feel uncomfortable. Let her see that you trust her in personal matters, and perhaps she will reciprocate.
- If you try to make her get to know you better, she will appreciate it and see your sincerity.
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Be honest with yourself. If you really want to keep a girl's trust, act natural. You may have changed some parts of your life to win back her trust, but don't change completely for her. If you feel like you're being humiliated, sucked up, or wasting all your energy to get her back, you may be trying to be someone else, and that will make you miserable in the future.
- Ask yourself if you are comfortable with being who you are now and if the girl trusts you and not the new person you are trying to become.
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Know when it's too late. Unfortunately, there is a chance that you won't be able to win back her trust. If weeks or even months go by and you don't feel resilient that you're not trusted, like she's constantly checking on you, or you're constantly apologizing for what happened, it might be too late to change. It may be better for you to end this relationship and not try to restore what can no longer be returned.
- If you feel like you've done your best and the girl still doesn't trust you, you might be better off breaking up.
- If all else fails, consider other relationships after learning from your mistakes.
- Once you know it's over, don't procrastinate, it can only cause you more pain.
Trust in any relationship, including between a guy and a girl, is key. If there is a desire to get close to the girl you like, then first of all you need to think about how to win the girl’s trust or return it if it is lost. It should be remembered that without trust there can be no happy and harmonious relationship.
Why are girls so distrustful?
Many have probably come across such a situation when, when meeting a pretty girl, doubts about the sincerity of words can be read in her eyes. What is the reason? There may be several.
- The girl is dissatisfied with her appearance and is a bit insecure about it.
- The girl was already burning herself, believing another sweet-talking handsome man.
- The interlocutor is sure that all men are their own!
- Too often one has to listen to lies.
- You have already been convicted of betrayal.
- To dispel all doubts about the sincerity of your intentions, you must actively act and prove the opposite.
- Follow the rules and you will be trusted!
In an effort to win the girl's trust with all your might, do not rush to get intimate. This will not only not bring you closer, but it can quickly push you away from each other.
If a relationship is just beginning, try to be honest with your crush. You don't have to wear masks. Remember, they break very easily. Be yourself.
Do not lie even in small things. It is difficult to love a liar and a deceiver.
Girls are very fond of skillful and skillful. Show yourself from this side. The feeling that there is a handyman nearby who will always come to the rescue is very pleasant for a lady.
Try to devote more time to your girlfriend and less time to look at others. The thought that she and only she is interested in a boyfriend will undoubtedly bring you closer.
If there are quarrels, try to be restrained, try to do without bad jokes, shouting and, God forbid, physical assault. It is always better to be the first to take a step towards reconciliation and ask for forgiveness, even if in your heart you do not consider yourself guilty.
Never mention your ex in conversations, let alone make comparisons between them. Neither good nor bad. They are no longer in this life next to you, and will not be. This is what your position should be if you want to be completely believed.
And there is one more important condition, how to win the trust of the girl with whom you want to have a close relationship. If you promise something, then please keep your promises. A woman at any age dreams of seeing a reliable faithful person next to her.
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10 Ways to Earn Your Girlfriend's Trust Without Losing a Limb / Read for Men
Do you want to earn your girlfriend's trust, but don't want to cause drama when her defenses go up? Here is how you can do it.
Trust issues are common in the dating world! That's why gaining the trust of a girl you're just starting out with can be a challenge. Often girls have trust issues because of their past relationships, their childhood, how they were treated by loved ones, and for many other reasons..
The girl you start dating may be hesitant to get too close to you because she may be afraid that you will hurt her when she opens up. You may really like her, but she may also need some kind of sign that she can trust you. You can't blame her for that. In the end, like any issue worth solving, it will not be resolved without delay.
So the question remains: how can you make a girl feel comfortable enough with you to trust you?
How to Win a Girl's Trust
While no two relationship problems are the same, you can still use these tips to try and make it easier for her to finally trust you.
#1 Don't pressure her. If your girlfriend tells you she's not ready to meet your friends, or go on a trip with you, or even sleep with you, don't pressure her anyway. Putting pressure on her will likely make her more resilient to do what you want to do with her.
She has boundaries for good reason. To gain her trust, you really have to respect those boundaries and allow her to take risks according to her comfort level with them.
# 2 Chat with her. Effective communication with your girlfriend can help her understand that you care about her emotional well-being. This will help her feel safe around you. her to know that she is in good hands. Of course, you also need to be understanding and sympathetic towards her in order to show her that you really care about her.
# 3 Be patient. Although you may want to go to deeper levels of communication, you may have to wait a while before it is ready. Sometimes all you can do is just wait and try not to stir the emotional pot while she gets used to you..
#4 Spend a lot of time with her. Spending time with her will help her get used to you. Confidence will naturally grow after you spend more time with her and she will realize that you are someone she can feel comfortable with. Open up to her and let her see different sides of you, whether you're excited, sad or upset. Showing her true colors will help her decide if you are truly worthy of her trust.
# 5 make her laugh. If you can make her laugh, it will help her lower her guard and calm her down. Laughter comes with happiness and comfort, and that's what you want her to associate with your company.
# 6 Ask her what you can do to make her trust you. Although it may seem a little strange at first, asking her if there is anything you can do to help her feel comfortable can be effective. For example, some women who have been scammed may feel more at ease if they can see your social media account or your phone from time to time. It tells her that you are different from the jerk who hurt her before.
# 7 Show her that you care about her. If you can give her some nice gifts or make a few thoughtful gestures whenever possible, that can really go a long way in terms of getting her to trust you. For example, you can cook her a meal or offer to run some of her errands or just give her flowers from time to time.
Part of the reason she's trusted you for so long is because she's probably trying to figure out if it's safe to let her heart invest in you. So if you show her that you care about her, it will be easier for her to tell that it is safe for you to fall.
# 8 Don't check on other girls in front of her. This is no brainer! If a beautiful woman passes by, it is sometimes very difficult not to look at her. But if you know that looking at a cute stranger will make your girlfriend think you have roving eyes, it definitely won't be worth it, right?
# 9 Give her compliments. Compliments go a long way when it comes to boosting a woman's self-esteem. When you do this for her, you show that you appreciate her and a woman is more likely to trust someone who appreciates her presence..
Just remember that your compliments must be sincere so as not to sound like a flatterer. Genuine compliments about her abilities will also be better than superficial compliments just on her looks.
# 10 Ask her friends for advice. There's a good chance your girlfriend's friends will understand how she works. So why not ask them for advice on how to gain her trust? They may have some really specific advice that can help, like how to make her feel loved, what gestures she wouldn't appreciate, and how not to offend her with seemingly harmless statements.
Gaining your girlfriend's trust without losing a limb can be quite rare. You can probably thank her ex-boyfriend for that. However, if you play your cards right, you will realize that she can get closer and closer to finally trusting you.
Even if sometimes you feel like throwing in the towel, if you really like a girl, it's probably worth the emotional journey to gain her trust.