Pre wedding syndrome

Bride-to-be & Pre-marriage syndrome » Bali Exotic Wedding

by Bali Exotic Wedding 2 Comments

Who doesn’t want to find Mr. Right and marry him? This is what every woman on this planet dreamed of. Spend the rest of your life with him and grow old together. But who would have thought that it will not as easy as you think? A lot of considerations and drama along your way to your wedding day. And this is all about Pre-Marriage Syndrome.

1. What is Pre-Marriage syndrome?

It is a situation that most women who experience it and phase in which you will feel doubts, freak out, afraid and electron everywhere. It will make you think about everything twice or more. Like “Is this what I really want?” “Do I have to do this?” “Is he the best for me?” Those questions will haunt you whenever you think about your upcoming wedding. Not only arguing with him, with his and your family also

2. Indications of Getting Pre-Marriage Syndrome

Pre-marriage syndrome indications in each person must be different, depending on their personality and how they react. In general, the pre-marriage syndrome will make you feel anxious, less concentrated, and mixed feelings before the wedding. You worry if it turns out he’s not the right one for you, having thoughts about the wedding will not going smoothly, not feeling ready with your status changes, and feelings about what will happen about your relationship with your mother-in-law. On a more serious level, pre-marriage syndrome can make you stressful, lack of appetite or even over-eating, temperament, and also insomnia.

3.Bye-Bye Freedom?

Marriage life is not only about you. Your concern is getting bigger now and two minds become one. Two big families become one. Worried after marriage then your freedom will be lost, can’t spend your salary for personal use, not to mention the thought of losing your admirers. You have to throw these thoughts away from your head because married life is going to change how do live your life with your partner. You’ll meet a new kind of responsibilities, resolving issues, and more together

4. Unhappy?

Your married friends talking about their hard marriage life makes you afraid? And yes it’ll not be going smooth like all Disney movies’ ending. And there’s come your worst though you’ll divorce because you’re feeling unhappy at all. Well, all those bad rumors about post married blues could be happening to you but it now depends on you. How you handle it and how you take the lesson from it with your partner. Start to think positively and create your own happiness in your new chapter of life.

5. Tired of your Pre-Marriage Syndrome? Try this

If you’re getting tired of this drama, try to have “Me-Time”. Do something that you like or pampering yourself in a day spa, salon or shopping. And after that, call your partner and ask him to hang out with you without talking about any wedding things and just have your time together. You can also hang out with your best friend or your mother and tell them all about your problems. They must be loved to listen, support and give you some advice. Don’t forget to think positive every time, have fun, and enjoy the flow.

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What to Do If You Have Cold Feet Before the Wedding

Are you experiencing cold feet before your wedding? Maybe you're re-thinking your choice of a partner or questioning if you even want to get married at all. You might even be nervous that you won't be able to commit to being with one person for the rest of your life. Whatever the reason for your pre-wedding jitters, know that this is entirely normal: Many people have some level of cold feet before their wedding. But just because it's normal doesn't mean you can ignore these feelings; it's important to deal with them before you walk down the aisle.

What Does "Cold Feet" Mean?

"Cold feet" is a term characterized by a feeling of uncertainty around moving forward with your wedding.

For help, we turned to Jocelyn Charnas, a licensed clinical psychologist in New York City. She works with individuals and couples in all stages of relationships, and she even earned the term "the wedding doctor" for her work with those who are engaged. "I think of cold feet as an umbrella term for the fears, doubts, and anxieties we have as we anticipate getting married," she explains. "An experience of anxiety and uncertainty is normal as we plan for this very important life transition, but too much fear and doubt can be very unsettling." Ahead, she walks us through what to do if you have cold feet and when to pay closer attention to these feelings of uncertainty.

Meet the Expert

Jocelyn Charnas is a licensed clinical psychologist in New York City who specializes in working with couples and individuals who are engaged.

Signs of Cold Feet

It is normal to have many types of feelings before your wedding, including anxiety, so you might be wondering if you have cold feet. Charnas says having cold feet can manifest itself in a variety of ways. Some people have overt doubts about their future, "like the questioning of whether [it] is the right person, the right time," she explains. You might be thinking about if you want to get married at all or if you could possibly commit to somebody for the rest of your life. You may even take steps to explore breaking off the wedding.

Some signs of having cold feet are a little less overt, adds Charnas. In many people, cold feet can manifest as intense anxiety around wedding planning. If you are breaking down in tears over which flavor of wedding cake to choose or where to go on a honeymoon, it might be less about the details of your wedding and more about your fears of getting married. Some people take it out on their partners when they have cold feet. If you're fighting with him or her more often or start to find the person you love annoying, that could be a sign. You might also be having nightmares or lose your sex drive.

Why People Get Cold Feet

One reason you might have cold feet is because getting married is a big deal. "A healthy dose of uncertainty and anxiety can mean we are taking this decision very, very seriously, as it should be taken," offers Charnas. "If we aren’t nervous before a big job interview, that could be a signal that we’re not all that invested in getting the job. I think about marriage in the same way; we should be a bit nervous, we should exercise critical thinking, we should explore it from all angles."

Media depictions of marriage only make this worse, admits Charnas. "There is a misconception, which I think is furthered by media and Hollywood depictions of engagement and marriage that you should 'just know.' That’s a lovely concept, but in the real world, it's okay to have some uncertainty. The trick is to vocalize it and try to work through it, rather than suppress it."

How to Deal With Cold Feet

One of the simplest and most effective ways to deal with cold feet is to talk about it, advises Charnas. "In my work with engaged couples, I can feel the sense of relief in the room when I give them the green light to vocalize their fears and doubts. Whether or not you seek the help of a therapist or religious counselor, I encourage couples to take the time to talk about the things they fear."

The good news about talking about having cold feet with your partner is you might even walk away from the conversation feeling more confident that this is your person and you can handle anything going forward. "If you can view your partner’s fears from a place of empathy and understanding, rather than from a position of defensiveness, you are already practicing healthy marriage behaviors!" exclaims Charnas.

She also reminds us that having cold feet is normal. You don't have to think anything is wrong with you. "The most important thing to remember is that a certain degree of pre-wedding anxiety is a normal part of the tremendous life transition that is marriage," she assures. "Getting in touch with your own fears and uncertainties and being a good listener for those of your partner is a great starting point for a healthy and joyous union."

When Cold Feet Are a Sign That You Shouldn't Get Married

Sure, you can remind yourself that everyone has pre-wedding anxiety and cold feet is normal, but in the back of your brain, you might be wondering if your cold feet are telling you something serious. Maybe this isn't the person for you or maybe you aren't ready to get married? Charnas says one of the only times cold feet signifies something is deeply wrong is if you try to articulate your fears to your partner and it doesn't go well. "One potential red flag for me is if a member of the couple is unable or unwilling to vocalize their anxieties and/or hear their partner’s fears," she says. "This lack of communication can mean that perhaps the relationship is not yet ready for this next step." But even then it doesn't mean you need to break up right away; it just means you might need to work on your communication skills.

Another thing to look out for is if your anxiety is so crippling it affects other parts of your life including work, school, or self-care. "Too much anxiety, to a level that is paralyzing or widely disruptive to other areas of one's life, can be a sign of a deeper issue within the relationship."

The Complete Guide to Planning a Wedding

Pre-wedding depression

    / / /

Explaining what “bride syndrome” is and how to deal with it


A wedding makes you depressed. The hustle and bustle, the multitude of urgent tasks, and the pressing deadlines can cause panic. And the question constantly spinning in my head, “Maybe we don’t need this wedding?” finally wins. All this translates into the "bride syndrome", which makes preparing for the wedding even more difficult.

@emilisindlev, @liiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Pre-wedding depression is normal. But still, it is much more pleasant to prepare for the most important day in a light atmosphere. In order to help brides prevent or overcome the syndrome, we have detailed the symptoms, causes and ways to deal with it.

@antonovakseniya, @butenkovph

What is the “bride syndrome”?

Bride's syndrome or, in other words, pre-wedding depression is a condition in which a girl feels depressed, anxious, sad and has a strong reluctance to prepare for the wedding. As a rule, these emotions are accompanied by constant doubts: starting from the design, ending with thoughts about whether it was worth agreeing at all when the partner made an offer.

@aloeveraphotography, @peggy_loves


  • Pre-wedding turmoil. When, in addition to ordinary affairs, a whole bunch of tasks related to organizing a wedding appears, the usual daily routine becomes much denser. On the one hand, constant activity helps to forget about disturbing thoughts. On the other hand, it causes stress.

  • The beginning of a new life stage. Big changes can cause not only joy, but also panic: a person hopes for the best, but still understands that he is walking into the unknown. Brides may have the same feeling: the excitement of the upcoming wedding is periodically replaced by fear of change.

  • Fear that reality will not live up to expectations. And this applies not only to the celebration itself. Along with the fear that everything will not go according to plan at the wedding, and it will not be the same as it was originally imagined in the head, the bride is afraid of thoughts about living together. The girl may feel that the bonds of marriage will limit her and burden her with additional responsibilities.


Do not confuse this condition with a disease: the word "depression" in the name is only associative. If you understand that a bad mood, reduced concentration and lack of interest in any activities accompany you for a long time and they have nothing to do with the upcoming celebration, then you should contact a specialist. Symptoms of pre-wedding "depression" are:

  • You feel lonely.
  • You have doubts, anxious thoughts about the wedding.

  • There are problems with sleep.

  • Conflicts with loved ones are becoming more frequent.

  • You begin to notice flaws in the chosen one, as a result of which irritation appears.

  • Have you ever asked yourself the question “Should I have married him?”, @fisiuk_julia

How to deal with this?

If you realize that the feeling of anxiety has appeared due to the preparation for the wedding and it is temporary, then try the following:

  1. First of all, honestly admit to yourself in your own state: awareness and acceptance of the problem is 50% of success.

  2. Remember the "less control, more fun" principle. You do not have to follow the entire preparation process and be constantly involved. Do not take on too much on your shoulders - try to delegate tasks. There is nothing wrong with this: preparation for the celebration should be easy, so that after the wedding itself you have only pleasant memories, and not negative experiences.

  3. Switch from organization to another activity. Try postponing preparation for a few days. Spend time alone with yourself, take a trip to the country or have a day of relaxation with spa treatments, aromatherapy and your favorite movies. Don't feel guilty about an unplanned weekend. After resting for a couple of days, you will be filled with energy and will be able to make preparations for the celebration much more effective.

  4. See a psychologist. There is an opinion that only those who have diseases turn to him. But this is not the case at all: healthy people also work with specialists. Someone turns to them in order to maintain a normal mental state, and someone - to work out some areas of life. In any case, turning to a psychologist for help is not a manifestation of weakness, but a conscious step of a mature person.

  5. Practice mindful breathing techniques. Studies show that breathing practices have a positive effect on the nervous and cardiovascular systems. They not only reduce stress levels, but also help bring negative emotions under control. Making them is easy enough. First, find a quiet and secluded place. Sit in a comfortable position and breathe normally. After that, slowly take a deep breath through the nose, gradually filling the lungs with air. Now take the same deep and slow exhalation. Try to breathe with your stomach, not your chest: this way your body will receive more oxygen.



Author - Ksenia Aksyonova

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What is pre-wedding syndrome.

How to deal with it

Good to know

Perhaps, any girl is waiting for the moment when her beloved man proposes to her and she can finally prepare for her own wedding a significant event in the life of any couple, which is filled with positive emotions and pleasant expectation. Of course, for all women, a wedding is a joyful event, but very often brides experience the so-called pre-wedding syndrome, what is it like?

You can associate it with excitement, because every bride dreams of her wedding being perfect, so there are naturally fears that something might not go as planned. Girls are also concerned about their appearance, because it should be perfect. And even on the eve of the wedding, some brides have thoughts about whether they made the right choice at all and whether the person with whom they would like to spend their lives is really nearby, after all, this is an important choice and I would like it to be made once and for all .

The first two experiences are quite easy to deal with, it is enough just to plan everything correctly, but the last one is more serious. What can be done to understand whether the groom is the right person and is it really worth marrying him and starting a family?

First, you should sit down alone, take an ordinary piece of paper and write on it all the positive qualities of the future husband, you need to highlight the most valuable ones that the bride cherishes and which she always wanted to see in her chosen one. Next, a list of negative qualities is compiled next to each other, so you don’t have to be afraid to admit to yourself that the young man is not perfect. Particular attention should be paid to negative qualities, you need to understand whether the bride is ready to accept these qualities and live with them, because a person needs to be loved only as he is.

Secondly, it is worth talking frankly with your chosen one, find out what exactly his life goals are, what he represents his family, what he aspires to. It is very important that the couple have similar goals, because now they will need to go hand in hand together, and if after the wedding it turns out that the husband and wife want completely different things from life, then most likely the marriage will break up, so it’s worth deciding everything on the shore . You need to marry only a person in whom there is complete confidence, because a husband is a person who can be completely trusted.

Thirdly, on the eve of any significant event, unrest appears, this is a normal reaction of the body to changes in a person's life. Therefore, if there really are sincere feelings for the groom, if he really has a set of positive qualities for creating a family, if his goals and outlook on life are similar, then most likely all fears are far-fetched and caused by a stressful situation, after the wedding all these fears should pass.

Pre-wedding syndrome is not terrible if you control your emotions, if you control yourself and suppress negative thoughts.

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