Physically abusive husband
Why Do People Abuse | The National Domestic Violence Hotline
Domestic violence stems from a desire to gain and maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abusive people believe they have the right to control and restrict their partner’s lives, often either because they believe their own feelings and needs should be the priority in the relationship, or because they enjoy exerting the power that such abuse gives them.
Tactics of abuse (in any form) may be aimed at dismantling equality in the relationship in order to make their partners feel less valuable and undeserving of respect.
Remember that everyone deserves to have a healthy, loving, and respectful relationship—no matter what.
Abuse is a learned behavior. Some people witness it in their own families growing up; others learn it slowly from friends, popular culture, or structural inequities throughout our society. No matter where they develop such behaviors, those who commit abusive acts make a choice in doing so — they also could choose not to.
There are many people who experience or witness abuse who use their experiences to end the cycle of violence and heal themselves without harming others. While outside factors (including drug or alcohol addiction) can escalate abuse, it’s important to recognize that these issues do not cause domestic abuse themselves.
Who does abuse affect?
Anyone can be abusive and anyone can be the victim of abuse. Abuse happens regardless of gender, age, sexuality, race, economic status, ability, citizenship status, or any other factor or identity. Feelings of confusion, fear, or anger are normal responses to abuse, but they may also make you feel isolated or like no one will understand. Remember that expert advocates from The Hotline are available 24/7 to talk through your situation and help you build a safety plan tailored to your circumstances.
Being abusive is a decision: it’s a strategic behavior by your partner to create their desired power dynamic.
Regardless of the circumstances of your relationship or past, no one ever deserves to be abused and you’re never responsible for your partner’s abusive actions.
Domestic violence can also strain the people who witness, intervene, or simply recognize the tragic realities of relationship abuse. It can be painful and draining — physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially — to watch the people in our lives abuse or be abused. In that regard, we are all impacted by any and all forms of abuse, and it’s on each of us to take steps in our daily interactions to end and prevent future abusive behavior.
a quote mark iconBeyond the physical risks of leaving an abusive relationship, there are countless other reasons why people stay in their relationships. Survivors deserve to be supported in their decision-making and empowered to reclaim control over their own lives—no matter the circumstances.
5 Facts About Physical Abuse in a Relationship
Physical abuse in a relationship is real and it is far more common than what many believe. It is also devastating and life-altering.
And most importantly – it happens in silence. It often remains invisible to the outside world, sometimes until it is too late to fix anything.
Whether you or someone you know and care about suffers from physical abuse in a relationship, it can be hard to see the signs and know what is considered physical abuse. Here are a few illuminating facts about physical abuse in relationships and some physical abuse facts that may help the victims in getting the right perspective and the right help.
Related Reading: What Is Abuse?1. Physical abuse in a relationship is more than just battering
Many victims of physical abuse don’t realize that they’re in an abusive relationship.
This is because we are taught to view physical abuse in a relationship in a particular way, and if we don’t see that, we begin to doubt whether the abuser’s behavior constitutes as violence at all.
But, being pushed aside, held down against a wall or a bed, “lightly” smacked on the head, dragged along, roughly tugged, or driven recklessly, these all are, in fact, physically abusive behaviors.
Related Reading: What is Intimate Partner Violence2. Physical abuse in a relationship rarely comes alone
Physical violence is the most apparent form of abuse, but it rarely happens in a relationship where there is no emotional or verbal abuse as well.
And any abuse from the person that we were expecting would treat us kindly and protect us from harm is a ruinous experience. But when we add physically aggressive behavior to the emotional abuse and verbal insults in a relationship, it becomes a living hell.
Related Reading: Surviving Physical and Emotional Abuse3. Physical abuse in a relationship often develops gradually
What counts as physical abuse in a relationship doesn’t necessarily involve being harmed physically, but many forms of verbal abuse can also be constituted in an abusive relationship.
And emotional and verbal abuse can and often present an eerie introduction to a highly toxic and even dangerous relationship.
Not that psychological abuse can’t lead a victim into a range of self-harming beliefs and behaviors, but physical abuse in a relationship usually presents a dark culmination of such a pathological connection.
Not every emotionally abusive relationship reaches that point, but most physically abusive ones are filled with demeaning and controlling behavior at the beginning.
So, if your partner is constantly belittling you, causing you to feel guilty for their aggression and making you believe that you don’t deserve any better, be careful and watch for the signs. They may be on their way towards becoming physically violent as well.
Related Reading: How to Recognize and Deal with an Abusive Partner4. Physical abuse in a relationship has long-lasting consequences
A lot of research has been conducted to determine what leads to physical abuse in the marriage, and what it causes. Obviously, there are immediate physical consequences of being tossed around or beaten.
But, these heal (even though they too can have severe and long-term consequences). In its extreme (which is not that rare), physical abuse in a relationship can be life-threatening to the victims.
For those who do survive, being exposed to continuing violence in what should be a loving and safe place results in a number of psychological and physiological changes.
Chronic headaches, high blood pressure, gynecological illnesses, and digestive problems are just a few of the most common consequences for the victims of physical abuse in a relationship.
Adding to these ailments of the body, the psychological damage that results from being in an abusive relationship is equal to the damage to war veterans.
According to some studies, victims of physical violence in relationships or physical violence in marriage are also more susceptible to developing cancer and other chronic and often terminal diseases.
Victims of physical abuse in a relationship (regardless of its duration, frequency, and severity) are at higher risk of developing depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, or an addiction.
And, since abuse rarely comes without the victim becoming socially isolated, they are left without the protective role our friends and family play in our lives.
Also watch:
Related Reading: The Effects of Physical Abuse5. Suffering alone makes it worse
Victims of abuse know this very well – it seems impossible to leave the aggressor or a physically abusive partner. Regardless of how violent they may be at some moments, they are usually quite seductive and charming in other moments.
The abuse can happen with long periods of seemingly peaceful and quite happy days. But, unfortunately, once a partner has crossed the line of raising their hands to you, it’s highly likely that they will do it again.
Some do it in a few years, others never seem to stop, but it’s rare to see isolated occurrences of physical violence that never happened again, except when they don’t get a chance to repeat what they did.
Can a relationship be saved after domestic violence? Can a marriage survive domestic violence? Even if you can’t answer these questions, always remember that hiding and suffering alone is never the answer.
Tell someone you trust, get help, get in touch with a therapist, and discuss your possibilities.
Going through physical abuse in a relationship is, without a doubt, one of the most difficult experiences one can have. It is dangerous and has the potential of causing long-lasting negative consequences. Yet, like many other horrible encounters in our lives, this too can be directed towards self-growth.
This doesn’t need to be the thing that destroyed you.
You survived, haven’t you?
References
https://scholarworks.sjsu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?referer=https://www.google.com/&httpsredir=1&article=1016&context=themis
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Husband offends and beats! What to do?
#1
#2
#3
Selyanavik
happy beats means loves.
..
#4
unhappy
When they met, everything was fine: loved, appreciated, cherished.
unhappy
(he is a policeman)
By the way, are you aware that it has been renamed? Now he is a cop. Maybe you're lying here?
#5
If I didn't want this, I would have run away long ago.
What is he - Mr. Evil, who will destroy his parents, etc.?
#6
Specialist
unfortunate
(he is a policeman)
You had a clear and clear signal from the very beginning. They don't just go to the police. nine0005
By the way, are you aware that it has been renamed? Now he is a cop.
Maybe you're lying here?
#7
#8
:)
If I didn't want that, I would have run away long ago.
What is he - Mr. Evil, who will destroy his parents, etc.?
#9
unhappy
:) If a woman lives with such a man, then everything is fine, everything is fine.
If I didn't want that, I would have run away long ago.
What is he - Mr. Evil, that he will destroy his parents, etc? he just has the best friend the prosecutor, and they will stop at nothing, it would be where to run away ...
#10
unhappy
:) If a woman lives with such a man, then everything is fine, everything suits.
nine0005
If I didn't want that, I would have run away long ago.
What is he - Mr. Evil, that he will destroy his parents, etc.? he just has the best friend the prosecutor, and they will stop at nothing, it would be where to run away ...
#11
unhappy
:) If a woman lives with such a man, then everything is fine, everything suits.
If I didn't want that, I would have run away long ago.
What is he - Mr. Evil, that he will destroy his parents, etc.? he just has the best friend the prosecutor, and they will stop at nothing, it would be where to run away ...
#12
#13
Unhappy
I see that I absolutely do not love, and I don’t know how to live on .
.. Yes, and I do not like him
#14,0005
#15
#16
Mischievous Pig
unhappy :) If a woman lives with such a man, then everything is fine, everything suits. nine0005
If I didn't want that, I would have run away long ago.
What is he - Mr. Evil, that he will destroy his parents, etc? he just has the best friend the prosecutor, and they will stop at nothing, it would be where to run away ... and how the prosecutor will help him destroy his parents? them with a cop's baton?
describe your fears, perhaps they are only in your frightened and downtrodden mind, in fact they are hardly realizable, wouldn't your husband kill you?
#17
Guest
Author, why is the advice to leave him not suitable for you?
#18
:)
If I didn't want that, I would have run away long ago.
What is he - Mr. Evil, that he will destroy his parents, etc.? he just has the best friend of the prosecutor, and they will stop at nothing, it would be where to run away ...
Oh yes, a farted cop and a prosecutor like him will grind the whole of Ukraine to powder, and what's there, the whole planet. He just sees that you are a coward, and intimidates you.
#19
#20,0005
I have this papa. I stopped wondering why she didn't leave him. Well, I just like to suffer, probably that's all ..... But I wouldn’t want to, I would run only my heels into *** stuck. So are you. nine0005
#22
Woman.
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#24
Yazva
"Best friend" under execution will not risk his place.
#25
Lyalya
Author. Even snot like: why, why and blah blah blah are not interesting.
I have such a father. I stopped wondering why she didn't leave him. Well, I just like to suffer, probably that's all ..... But I wouldn’t want to, I would run only my heels into *** stuck. So are you. nine0005
#26
Yazva
unhappy:)If a woman lives with such a man, then everything is fine, everything suits.
If I didn't want that, I would have run away long ago.
What is he - Mr. Evil, that he will destroy his parents, etc.? he just has a prosecutor's best friend, and they will stop at nothing, it would be where to run away ...
"Best friend" under execution will not take risks your place.
#27
Invented stories
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I am infuriated by my husband with his children and grandchildren .
.. 972 Reply
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The man immediately warned the children
9000 9000 794 -
Such a salary - I don't want to work
548 answers
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A lie 22 years long. How to destroy?
819answers
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Husband left, 2 months of depression... How will you cope if you are left all alone?
183 answers
If I didn't want that, I would have run away long ago.
What is he - Mr. Evil, that he will destroy his parents, etc.? he just has the best friend the prosecutor, and they will stop at nothing, it would be where to run away ...
"Best friend" under execution will not risk his place. Yes, she understands everything. The topic is about nothing. Advice is not needed. Came to brag.
#30
#31
unhappy?
#32
:) still think something.
working on any options? I realized this is not the first case of beatings. nine0005
#33
I can't read topics like this - I want to come and kill the bastard!
Author, if you don't feel sorry for yourself, have pity on the child. He sees everything and grows up with the wrong family model. Who will grow out of it?
Search the Internet for a society for the protection of families from violence. there are such. if there is nowhere to run, they will help.
Understand, you have to go anywhere. Anything would be better than like this...
#34
unhappy
I want to leave him, just first you need to somehow convince him not to take the child ... in other words, so that he himself will let us go in a good way
#35
unhappy
I want to leave him, just first you need to somehow convince him not to take the child .
.. in other words, so that he himself will let us go in a good way
usually the court of the child leaves the mother. Furthermore. I would film the beating. here after them figs who will give him a child. nine0005
#36
unhappy
MasyanyaYazvan unhappy:) If a woman lives with such a man, then everything is fine, everything suits.
If I didn't want that, I would have run away long ago.
What is he - Mr. Evil, that he will destroy his parents, etc.? he just has a prosecutor's best friend, and they will stop at nothing, it would be where to run away ...
"Best friend" under execution will not take risks her place. Yes, she understands everything. The topic is about nothing. Advice is not needed. I came to brag. Is it easy to judge from above? nine0005
#37
:)
what does it mean to take the child??? took = stole
usually the court of the child leaves the mother.
Furthermore. I would film the beating. here after them figs who will give him a child.
#38
New topics
13 answers
why do they get married if they cheat later? nine0358
10 answers
Husband molests the child!
80 answers
I want to live alone, but I am married to
10 answers
after marriage. After marriage, my husband stopped respecting
#39
#40
unfortunate
:) what does it mean to take the child away??? took = stole
usually the court of the child leaves the mother.
Furthermore. I would film the beating. after them figs who will give him the child. he said that he would bribe the court, that he would find false witnesses, that I was a mentally unbalanced alcoholic, and the child would stay with him, and they would deprive me of the right to even see him (
#41
Guest
You shouldn't talk so badly, it just says that in such a situation, x.r. who will help, if only to pop.. children. rejoice and do not spread rot on a person. This can happen to anyone. Her husband waited until she trusted him, gave birth (2 years old child and not independent yet), knows her situation, character, habits + he has an aggravating circumstance (works in the authorities, to whom as they don’t know how it’s better to give in, so that there’s nothing for it) and now he’s assaulting.So you can’t solve the problem right away, especially since the author missed the moment when she had to make it clear that this was not acceptable for her.
To begin with, minimize run-ins with him, try not to provoke, if he starts, go quietly into another room, but not with the appearance of a victim, but calmly. When the child grows up, get divorced, if it is unbearable, prepare a mat base if possible. And for the screaming, I would, I would: violence is not only physically, but also psychologically people are broken, at least oppressed, not so easy to cope with. But in fact, I don’t know a single one that would immediately leave, even though I would have screamed earlier, I would. I'm a psychologist if anything
if she continues to live in marriage, as you say, he will not only break her, but kill her, God forbid,
and how do you know who was in what situations, tea is not a girl already,
we are trying to the author give confidence and say that he is a person, not a dog, she is a MOTHER, WIFE, and her husband is ***, from whom you need to get away
