Physical symptoms of lovesickness
Signs, What to Do, More
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Love can feel pretty wonderful — when all goes well, that is.
If your romance follows a rockier path, you might notice your inner compass needle swinging more toward abject misery than euphoric joy.
Maybe you haven’t yet found the courage to confess your love, or you have summoned the strength to share your feelings, only to face rejection.
Perhaps you’ve fallen for a person you know you can’t be with, like your boss or a friend’s partner, or someone you just know will never return your feelings.
An unexpected and unwanted breakup can also give rise to emotional turmoil and physical distress.
Any of these situations can leave you feeling somewhat unwell in mind and body. For example:
- You can’t eat or sleep.
- Your emotions show up way more intensely than usual.
- You just can’t concentrate on anything except the person you love, even if they don’t return your feelings or (worse yet) have absolutely no idea how you feel.
Sound familiar? Here’s a possible diagnosis: Lovesickness.
Below, you’ll find more details on exactly what it means to be lovesick and what you can do to recover.
People use the term lovesick in different ways.
You might hear it used to describe the range of feelings that accompany the early stages of being in love, such as:
- excitement
- lust
- euphoria
- jealousy
- attachment
- irrational or impulsive urges
These effects of love usually go by another name, though — we’ll get into that in more detail below.
Lovesickness generally refers to the more unpleasant aspects of love.
This ailment involves all those unwanted feelings you might experience when your passion doesn’t play out as planned, without the enjoyable effects of a mutual attachment.
It’s natural to feel sad and disappointed when you like someone who doesn’t feel the same way. The pain and frustration of heartbreak or unrequited love affects everyone differently, but the sting often lessens within a few weeks or months.
Not everyone coping with rejection will become lovesick, but you can often recognize the condition by its more intense symptoms.
The effects of lovesickness might stick around until they begin to affect your day-to-day life, and these symptoms can have a very real impact on your health and wellness.
And then there’s limerence
Some people also use the term lovesickness to refer to a phenomenon known as limerence.
Psychologist and professor Dorothy Tennov pioneered the research on this condition, introducing the term in her book “Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love.”
Tennov defines limerence as an involuntary fixation on another person. This fixation can feel a lot like love, but it has more of an obsessive component.
In a state of limerence, you desperately long for the other person to return your feelings and feel terrified they’ll reject you. Your mood often depends on how they treat you.
If they smile or speak to you, you might feel on top of the world. If they ignore you or seem indifferent, you might feel distressed or physically pained.
Other key symptoms of limerence include:
- intrusive or obsessive thoughts
- shyness around the person
- a tendency to focus only on their positive traits
- physical symptoms like sweating, dizziness, a pounding heart, insomnia, and appetite changes
Lovesickness is nothing new. This malady dates back to some of the earliest writings, in fact, though it sometimes went by different names.
You’ll find descriptions of the condition in ancient medical texts and classical literature, from Greek philosophy to Shakespeare to Jane Austen.
Research traces the concept of lovesickness to Hippocrates, who believed that lovesickness, like other illnesses, resulted from an excess or imbalance of certain bodily humors.
Galen, another notable ancient physician, was one of the first to diagnose lovesickness and other conditions where physical symptoms resulted from emotional causes.
From culture to culture and era to era, the general symptoms of lovesickness remain much the same.
If you’re lovesick, you’ll probably notice some of the following signs:
- insomnia
- loss of appetite
- restlessness
- flushed or feverish skin
- racing pulse, pounding heart, or unusually rapid breathing when thinking about the person
- dizziness, shakiness, or weak knees when encountering them
- pain or tension in your head or chest
- nausea or stomach distress
- increased tearfulness, or the sense you’re constantly on the verge of tears
You might also notice mood changes brought on by thoughts of the person you love.
Your emotions might range from a general sense of longing to frustration, anger, nervousness, and anxiety, and sometimes even hopelessness and despair.
Languishing over lost love can leave you feeling pretty rotten, to the point where you might begin to wonder whether you’re coming down with some type of flu.
Running a fever, which can sometimes happen with lovesickness, might only reinforce your concerns.
Love can’t give you the flu. But the hormone fluctuations associated with love and heartbreak — particularly the stress hormone cortisol — can prompt physical symptoms that affect your long-term health.
Lovesickness can also make you sick indirectly. A lack of sleep, good nutrition, or adequate hydration can absolutely worsen your health.
What’s more, changes in mood, such as irritability or a general sense of melancholy, can begin to affect your relationships with others or your performance at work and school.
Difficulties in these areas of life can eventually increase stress and affect your health, especially if your thoughts of love get in the way of regular self-care.
Serious cases of lovesickness can get intense. You might have trouble talking about anything besides the person you love and the relationship you want to develop.
Lovesickness can make it hard to concentrate and distract you from your responsibilities. You might forget important appointments, chores, errands, or plans with friends.
It’s also common to feel anxious about the outcome of your love.
Lovesickness can also involve difficulty getting over someone after they reject you.
Whether that’s an ex-partner who ended your relationship or someone you fell for who didn’t return your love, trouble moving on from the heartbreak could prompt feelings of melancholy or depression. Some people even have thoughts of suicide.
For those in the throes of limerence, persistent intrusive thoughts can fuel anxiety and rumination.
Some people attempt to resolve these thoughts with avoidance strategies or compulsive behaviors. These might seem to offer some temporary relief, but they generally won’t help long term.
Lovestruck and lovesick aren’t entirely unrelated concepts, but they do refer to separate states.
Falling in love prompts your brain to ramp up production of certain hormones, including dopamine, oxytocin, and norepinephrine.
So you’ll probably experience some level of surging emotions and temporary changes in mood and behavior as a natural consequence of falling head over heels.
When this happens, people might say you’re lovestruck or struck by Cupid’s arrow. (Cher and Nicolas Cage offer another name for this state of mind: “Moonstruck.”)
Lovesickness, on the other hand, tends to follow heartbreak, rejection, or unrequited love, so it carries more of a negative connotation. It might also involve mental health symptoms, including anxiety and depression.
Not everyone who falls in love will experience lovesickness, even after rejection, but some degree of lovestruck-ness is pretty universal — everyone has hormones, after all.
The early stages of a relationship usually involve some degree of infatuation.
For example:
- You think about your partner nonstop and feel euphoric when you’re together.
- They seem like the most amazing person in the world — you even find their quirks endearing.
- When you have to take a break from each other to attend to the responsibilities of daily life, you think about them so intently you have very little brain space left for what you’re supposed to be doing.
- You might notice some forgetfulness, increased energy, and less of a need for sleep or food.
- Friends and loved ones might say you seem distracted or beg you to stop talking about them for “just 10 minutes, please.”
This fixation can show up in physical ways, too.
You might notice signs of arousal as soon as you see them or, let’s be honest, whenever you think about them or remember your last encounter. When together, you might find it impossible to keep your hands off each other (or make it out of bed).
All of these things usually feel pretty good, and most people enjoy being in the honeymoon phase.
This stage can last anywhere from a few weeks to several months, but it usually passes once the relationship stabilizes and things become a little less rosy and a little more realistic.
If you think lovesickness sounds pretty awful, you might wonder whether pursuing love is really worth it.
Finding real, sustainable love can take time and effort, but romance isn’t all rejection and misery.
Each time you develop a crush or more intense liking for someone and follow up on those feelings by confessing your love, you’re making an attempt to find the romantic connection you desire.
You may not find this love without running the risk of potential rejection. For many people, the eventual outcome of lasting love is worth the risk of potential rejection or lovesickness.
Even if your crush doesn’t pan out, it may not necessarily feel bad. People who love the butterflies, energy boost, and euphoria that accompany their crushes might feel pretty fantastic in the thick of a crush.
Crushes can also teach you more about what you want (and don’t want) in a romantic partner. They can also lead to new friends.
Sometimes, the romance flops, but you find yourself connecting with your ex-crush in a completely platonic — but still rewarding — way.
In spite of lovesickness’ lengthy history, experts have yet to discover any real cure. Absent a vaccine or other quick fix, you’re left in the healing hands of time itself.
Lovesickness generally does ease eventually, much like the common cold. Here’s what you can do in the meantime to get some relief.
Embrace your creativity
Turn your feelings into something tangible by getting in touch with your creative side.
Art, journaling, poetry or short-story writing, and making music are all great ways to experience and express difficult emotions.
Listen to music
Cheery, energizing music might lift your spirits, but if you’d rather treat your senses to a favorite heartbreak playlist, go for it.
Research suggests listening to sad music could also have a positive impact on your mood.
Set boundaries for yourself and stick to them
Giving yourself time to heal involves creating some space. In other words, you’ll want to avoid texting, calling, and checking up on them — in person or on social media.
It’s also wise to wait on friendship until you’re feeling better.
Take care of your needs
You might not feel much like eating but try to plan balanced meals and snacks to help maintain good health.
Going to bed at the same time every night can make it easier to get the sleep you need.
Meditation and sunshine are other simple, low-cost methods to help boost a low mood.
Try positive distractions
Exercise, favorite hobbies, and time with friends can all help distract you from feelings of lovesickness and help improve your outlook.
A good book or favorite movie can also help you cope when you want to stay in and process your emotions alone.
We won’t lie. Heartbreak can take weeks, even months, to heal. This length of time varies from person to person, so there’s really no way to predict how long lovesickness will last.
If unwanted physical or emotional symptoms linger for more than a week or two, professional support can help.
Therapists are trained to help people navigate all the messy aspects of love, so your therapist won’t laugh at you or tell you it’s all in your head.
They will:
- help you explore any patterns or underlying factors that might contribute to or complicate your symptoms
- teach you coping skills to manage the most distressing moments
- offer support with building skills for healthy, fulfilling relationships
- help you address any mental health symptoms that accompany heartbreak
If you experience obsessive or intrusive thoughts, compulsions, or thoughts of suicide along with lovesickness, it’s best to seek support right away.
If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, a prevention hotline can help.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24 hours a day at 1-800-273-8255.
During a crisis, people who are hard of hearing should call 1-800-799-4889.
Click here for more links and local resources.
If you’re feeling a little lovesick lately, take heart. It won’t last forever.
To heal more quickly, treat yourself to some rest and relaxation, draw emotional support from friends, and remember to take care of your basic needs.
Crystal Raypole has previously worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy. Her fields of interest include Asian languages and literature, Japanese translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex positivity, and mental health. In particular, she’s committed to helping decrease stigma around mental health issues.
7 Signs You're Lovesick | Everyday Health
Sure, love comes with plenty of health benefits — but sometimes, Cupid's arrow hits you where it hurts.
By Elizabeth Shimer BowersMedically Reviewed by Pat F.
Bass III, MD, MPH
Reviewed:
Medically Reviewed
Ah, love: It can make you feel like you’re walking on air, like you’ll never stop grinning, like you’ve found your life’s purpose and you’re not turning back!
Or it can make you feel extremely nauseated, tremendously sweaty, and downright depressed.
That’s because the L-word has a powerful effect on your health in a number of ways — from the emotional euphoria felt during those first few months to the physical-pain-inducing devastation of heartbreak. In most cases, love-sicknesses (both the good and the bad ones) are temporary and fade on their own — but if they linger too long, you may want to consider seeking help a mental health professional.
From the psychological disorder limerence to broken heart syndrome, here’s a look at the most powerful forms of lovesickness.
The Love-Struck Bug
You have no appetite, and you haven’t slept in days.
You can’t concentrate at work, and you feel lightheaded and dizzy. Could it be a stomach bug? The flu? Nope — you are in love, my friend.
But those butterflies you’re feeling aren’t unfound: “As part of our genetics as tribal creatures, we have chemicals that make life more pleasant when we are in a relationship and less pleasant when we are separated from our beloved,” says Joseph Hullett, MD, senior medical director for OptumHealth Behavioral Solutions in Minnesota.
During the first few months of a relationship, the chemicals in our brains that get triggered include the neurotransmitters phenethylamine, dopamine, norepinephrine, and oxytocin — dubbed the love hormone, oxytocin is a strong pleasure and satisfaction neurotransmitter that helps two people bond, Dr. Hullett says. But while they can make us feel blissful, they can also result in loss of appetite, inability to concentrate, and difficulty falling asleep. Over time, however, these effects tend to subside, says Hullett.
Limerence: An Addiction to Love
For some people, lovesickness goes beyond butterflies: It may also induce physical effects, such as heart palpitations, shortness of breath, stomach pain, loss of sleep, and depression, all which may persist and prevent you from functioning normally. Also known as limerence, this condition is marked by extreme attraction to another, as well as an obsessive need to have feelings returned.
“Genetic levels of a chemical called monomine oxidase make some people more susceptible to addictions, one of which can be love,” Hullett says. “People who experience limerence tend to constantly fall in and out of love and remain in an enormous state of turmoil because of it.”
Post-Breakup Heartbreak
Anyone who’s been through a bad split can attest that breakups may take a powerful toll on health: One recent study in the journal Psychology showed that 58 percent of participants experienced serious breakup aftereffects, such as depression, insomnia, and distressing thoughts about the lost love.
Not to mention, you lose those powerful love hormones, says Hullett. “Instead of pleasure, you may feel depression, stress, and turmoil,” Hullett says. For some people, the loss can feel as devastating as the death of a loved one.
It takes most people 6 to 24 months to get over the emotional heartbreak of a failed relationship — but if you’re having trouble functioning in your daily life, seek help.
Broken Heart Syndrome
Imagine this scenario: An elderly man passes away suddenly, and then a few days later his brokenhearted wife of 60 years has chest pain.
Known in the medical community as stress-induced cardiomyopathy, broken heart syndrome mimics symptoms of a heart attack, including shortness of breath, chest pain, heart failure, and a feeling of impending doom. According to a study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, which looked at 19 women without existing heart disease, the overwhelming stress of heartbreak can cause the body to release hormones that may be responsible for this palpable reaction.
“This stress reaction causes the blood to form tiny clots that can actually trigger a heart attack,” explains Hullett.
The Post-Sex Blues
Feeling “so-so” after a not-so-great sexual encounter is one thing — but according to a recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Health, one in three women has experienced feelings of sadness and depression right after a romp in the hay (even when that sex was satisfying).
Normally, sex produces feelings of happiness and elation. But for reasons that researchers have not yet pinpointed, some women experience just the opposite — a state called postcoital dysphoria. Also known as post-sex depression, the condition is marked by feelings of sadness, anxiety, regret, and irritability. Hullett suggests that people prone to mood swings may be more sensitive to withdrawal from surges of oxytocin, “which is very pleasurable but short-lived,” he says.
Infectious Depression
You know you can catch a cold from your partner, but did you realize you can also catch his depression? Though states of mind are not technically contagious, research shows that someone with a blue mood can negatively impact the spirits of those around him.
In fact, “folie à deux, which is French for ‘a madness shared by two,’ is a classic disorder in which two people in a relationship begin to mirror each other’s expressions and moods,” Hullett says. If one partner is depressed, the other may indeed begin to experience that depression. Fortunately, by urging your partner to get help — you may start to feel better, too.
Love-Hate Hypertension
You love him; you love him not? Beware your blood pressure level.
A Brigham Young University study published in the journal Health Psychology revealed that being around people you have mixed feelings about can actually be worse for your physical and emotional health than being around people you flat out dislike. Researchers evaluated 100 people after different social interactions and hypothesized that the unpredictability of being around people you have both positive and negative feelings about can stress you out, affecting your blood pressure as well as your anxiety levels.
“A stressful encounter causes the muscles to tense, both in your limbs and your arteries, leading to a rise in blood pressure,” Hullett explains.
How to recognize an attack of lovesickness and what you can do to "cure" it
Love can be beautiful - when everything goes well.
If your romance is taking a more rocky path, you may notice that your inner compass needle swings more towards miserable misery than euphoric joy.
Maybe you haven't yet found the courage to confess your love, or have gathered the strength to share your feelings only to face rejection.
You may have fallen in love with someone you can't be with, such as your boss or a friend's partner, or someone you just know who will never return your feelings.
An unexpected and unwanted breakup can also cause emotional upheaval and physical suffering.
Any of these situations can cause you to feel some discomfort in your mind and body. For example:
- You can neither eat nor sleep.
- Your emotions are stronger than usual.
- You just can't focus on anything other than the person you love, even if they don't reciprocate your feelings or (worse still) have absolutely no idea how you feel.
Sound familiar? Here is a possible diagnosis: Longing for love.
Below you will find more information about what exactly lovesickness means and what you can do to get well.
What does “lovesickness” really mean?
People use the term "love" in different ways.
Perhaps you heard that it is used to describe a number of feelings accompanying the early stages of falling in love, for example:
- Excitation
- Lust
- Euphoria Jealousy
- Batter love usually has a different name - we will look at this in more detail below.
Lovesickness usually refers to the more unpleasant aspects of love.
This illness includes all those unwanted feelings that you may experience when your passion does not play out as planned, without the pleasant effects of mutual affection.
It's natural to feel sad and disappointed when you like someone who doesn't feel the same way. The pain and disappointment of a broken heart or unrequited love affects everyone differently, but the pain often lessens over weeks or months.
Not everyone who copes with rejection begins to yearn for love, but you can often recognize this state by more pronounced symptoms.
The effects of lovesickness can persist until they begin to affect your daily life, and these symptoms can have a real impact on your health and well-being.
And then there is limerence
Some people also use the term lovesickness to refer to the phenomenon known as fame.
Psychologist and professor Dorothy Tennow first began research on this condition, coining the term in her book Love and Fame: The Experience of Being in Love.
Tennov defines limerence as an involuntary fixation on another person. This fixation can be very similar to love, but it has more of an obsessive component.
In a state of fame, you are desperate for the other person to respond to your feelings, and you are afraid that he will reject you. Your mood often depends on how you are treated.
If they smile or talk to you, you may feel on top of the world. If they ignore you or seem indifferent, you may feel distressed or physically hurt.
Other key symptoms of limerence include:
- intrusive or intrusive thoughts
- shyness around the person
- tendency to focus only on positive traits
- physical symptoms such as sweating, dizziness, rapid heartbeat, insomnia, and changes in appetite
Where did this idea come from?
Longing for love is nothing new. In fact, this disease goes back to some of the earliest writings, although it was sometimes called by different names.
You will find descriptions of this condition in ancient medical texts and classical literature, from Greek philosophy to Shakespeare and Jane Austen.
Research traces the concept of lovesickness to Hippocrates, who believed that lovesickness, like other illnesses, results from an excess or imbalance of certain bodily fluids.
Galen, another famous ancient physician, was one of the first to diagnose lovesickness and other conditions in which the physical symptoms were caused by emotional causes.
What is it like?
From culture to culture, from era to era, the general symptoms of longing for love remain largely the same.
If you are yearning for love, you are likely to notice some of the following:
- insomnia
- loss of appetite
- restlessness
- reddened or feverish skin
- dizziness, trembling or weakness in the knees on meeting them
- pain or tension in the head or chest
- nausea or indigestion
- increased tearfulness or a feeling that you are constantly on the verge of tears
You may also notice mood changes caused by thinking about the person you love.
Your emotions can range from a general feeling of sadness to frustration, anger, nervousness and anxiety, and sometimes even hopelessness and despair.
Can you really get sick?
Longing for lost love can make you feel rather rotten, to the point where you may start to wonder if you've got some kind of flu.
Fever, which can sometimes happen with longing for love, can only increase your fears.
Love cannot give you the flu. But the hormonal fluctuations associated with love and heartbreak, especially the stress hormone cortisol, can cause physical symptoms that affect your long-term health.
Longing for love can also make you indirectly sick. Lack of sleep, good nutrition, or enough fluids can seriously impair your health.
What's more, mood changes, such as irritability or a general feeling of melancholy, can begin to affect your relationships with others or your performance at work and school.
Difficulties in these areas of life can eventually increase stress and affect your health, especially if your thoughts of love interfere with regular self-care.
Are there other signs to look for?
Serious cases of lovesickness can become intense. You may have trouble talking about anything other than the person you love and the relationship you want to develop.
Longing for love can make concentration difficult and distract you from your duties. You can forget about important meetings, business, errands or plans with friends.
Also often worried about the result of your love.
Lovesickness can also include difficulty in forgetting someone after they have rejected you.
Whether it's a former partner who ended your relationship, or someone you fell in love with who didn't return your love, problems coping with grief can cause feelings of melancholy or depression. Some people even have suicidal thoughts.
For those in the throes of fame, constant intrusive thoughts can fuel anxiety and rumination.
Some people try to resolve these thoughts with avoidance strategies or compulsive behaviors.
They may seem to offer some temporary relief, but they usually don't help in the long run. Is it the same as being in love?
Madly in love and in love are not entirely different concepts, but they refer to different states.
Being in love causes your brain to increase the production of certain hormones, including dopamine, oxytocin, and norepinephrine.
So you are likely to experience some level of emotional outburst and temporary changes in mood and behavior as a natural consequence of falling head over heels.
When this happens, people may say that you are in love or struck by Cupid's arrow. (Cher and Nicolas Cage suggest another name for this state of mind: "Power of the Moon".)
On the other hand, longing for love tends to follow a broken heart, rejection or unrequited love, so it has a more negative connotation. It may also include mental health symptoms including anxiety and depression.
Not everyone who falls in love experiences longing for love, even after rejection, but some degree of falling in love is fairly universal—we all have hormones, after all.
What about the "honeymoon phase" in a relationship?
The early stages of a relationship usually involve some degree of infatuation. For example:
- You think about your partner non-stop and feel euphoric when you are together.
- They seem to be the most amazing people in the world - you even find their quirks endearing.
- When you need to take a break from each other to attend to your daily duties, you think about them so intently that you have very little room in your brain for what you should be doing.
- You may notice some forgetfulness, increased energy, and less need to sleep or eat.
- Friends and loved ones may say that you look distracted, or ask you to stop talking about them for at least 10 minutes.”
This fixation can also manifest itself physically.
You may notice signs of arousal as soon as you see them or, let's be honest, whenever you think about them or remember your last meeting. When you're together, you may find that you can't tear yourself away from each other (or get out of bed).
All these things are usually pleasant, and most people enjoy being in the honeymoon phase.
This phase can last from a few weeks to a few months, but it usually goes away once the relationship stabilizes and things get a little less rosy and a little more realistic.
What's the point?
If you think that longing for love sounds pretty terrible, you may wonder if the pursuit of love is really worth it.
Finding true, lasting love can take time and effort, but romance is about more than rejection and suffering.
Every time you fall in love or have a stronger liking for someone and continue these feelings by confessing your love, you are trying to find the romantic connection you want.
You may not find this love without the risk of rejection. For many people, the end result of lasting love is worth the risk of potential rejection or lovesickness.
Even if your love is not successful, it does not have to be bad. People who love butterflies, the rush of energy and euphoria that comes with falling in love, can feel fantastic in the midst of falling in love.
Being in love can also tell you more about what you want (and don't want) in a romantic partner. They can also lead to new friends.
Sometimes the romance fails, but you find yourself connecting with your former lover in a completely platonic, but still useful way.
How can I "cure" my longing for love?
Despite the long history of lovesickness, experts have yet to find any real cure. In the absence of a vaccine or other quick fix, you are left in the healing hands of time itself.
Longing for love usually passes with time, like a common cold. Here's what you can do during this time to get some relief.
Embrace your creativity
Turn your feelings into something tangible by getting in touch with your creative side.
Art, journaling, writing poetry or stories, making music are all great ways to experience and express complex emotions.
Listen to music
Fun, uplifting music can lift your spirits, but if you'd rather indulge your senses with your favorite heart-breaking playlist, go for it.
Research suggests that listening to sad music can have a positive effect on your mood. Set boundaries for yourself and stick to them
To give yourself time to recover, you need to create some space. In other words, you should avoid texting, calling, and checking, whether in person or on social media.
It is also wise to wait with friendship until you feel better.
Take care of your needs
You may not be very hungry, but try to plan balanced meals and snacks to maintain good health.
Going to bed at the same time every night will help you fall asleep more easily.
Meditation and sunlight are other simple and inexpensive methods to help lift a bad mood.
Try Positive Distractions
Exercise, hobbies, and time with friends can help take your mind off feelings of longing for love and improve your outlook.
A good book or favorite movie can also help you deal with the situation when you want to stay at home and deal with your emotions alone.
What should I do if my symptoms persist?
We will not lie. It can take weeks or even months to heal a broken heart. This length of time varies from person to person, so there is no way to predict how long lovesickness will last.
If unwanted physical or emotional symptoms persist for more than a week or two, professional support may help.
Therapists are trained to help people navigate all the confusing aspects of love so your therapist won't laugh at you or tell you it's all in your head.
They :
- help you explore any patterns or underlying factors that may be contributing to or exacerbating your symptoms
- teach you coping skills to deal with the worst moments
- offer support in building skills for healthy, fulfilling relationships
- help you cope with any mental health symptoms that accompany a broken heart
If you are experiencing obsessive or obsessive thoughts, obsessive thoughts or suicidal thoughts along with longing for love, it is best to seek support right away.
If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, a prevention hotline can help. The National Suicide Helpline is available 24 hours a day at 24-1-800-273.
During a crisis, people with hearing loss should call 1-800-799-4889.
Click here for more links and local resources.
What is the point?
If you've been sick of love lately, take heart. It won't last forever.
In order to recover faster, treat yourself to rest and relaxation, enlist the emotional support of friends, and remember to take care of your basic needs.
DIAGNOSIS: "LOVE ADDICTION"
01.Nov.2019
Psychotherapists say: every fourth woman and every seventh man becomes a victim of love addiction
Love addiction is, first of all, a “bad” state of health. Similar to aching and incessant toothache. And, if with the latter, the main desire becomes a visit to the dentist, then love addiction is characterized by a strong and obsessive need for another person.
The real obsession with the subject. As a result of such attachment, self-respect, one's own "I" and even health are lost.
Unfortunately, statistics indicate that every fourth woman and every seventh man falls into a love addiction. With similar problems, people dependent on relationships quite often turn to psychotherapists for an appointment.
LET'S SEE IT
Why do people fall into a traumatic addiction? The reasons for such relationships are often: dislike by parents in childhood (strict control by adults). Unwillingness to take responsibility for your life and everything that happens in it. Infantilism. Fear of loneliness. Inability to make decisions. Fear of being rejected. Low self-esteem. Downplaying personal dignity. Lack of self-esteem. Lack of security and sense of security. Violence. Childhood trauma
Dependence in a couple can be compared with any other addiction, since the mechanisms developed on the basis of interpersonal relationships work identically.
One way or another, they lead to self-destruction. In dependence, one of the partners is always dominant, the other is subordinate.
HOW TO RECOGNIZE DEPENDENT RELATIONSHIPS?
First of all, in a dependent relationship is bad, and without them it is even worse.
Relationship addicts tend to have low self-esteem and self-destructive behavior. He always blames only himself for everything that happens in a couple. The addict cares too much about feelings, thoughts, actions, choosing another, while not paying attention to his own feelings, desires, dreams and fate. Dependent relationships always cause suffering, they often have conflicts, threats of termination of relationships, manipulations that do not reach real actions.
Secondly, in the absence of reciprocity and reaction, as well as the physical separation of the partner (business trip, vacation with friends), such relationships cause depression, despondency, anger, and fear of loss.
Other people surrounding the object of affection are perceived as a threat, rivals. Interest in other relationships is lost (meetings with friends, delays at work with colleagues, corporate parties), but at the same time there is a complete immersion in dependent relationships. In such relationships, an objective assessment of the shortcomings of the other is lost , and in the case of their indication, an aggressive reaction of defense follows. In a dependent relationship, the ability to independently complete a gravitating relationship is lost, since a break can bring the pain of loss, and in the case of personal initiative, a strong sense of guilt and destructive behavior.
REMEMBER! True love gives a feeling of joy and happiness, not sadness and despondency. Moreover, these feelings do not depend on where the partners are: close to each other or at a distance. Temporary separation does not affect mood and is easily tolerated.THERE IS A REASON TO THINK
Healthy love relationships do not require complete dissolution in each other.
A relationship is a voluntary decision of two loving people to be together. At the same time, the lack of the necessary “dose” of attention does not prevent each of the partners from feeling happy, filled with vital energy, free and independent.
If the relationship is not going the way you imagined it, there is reason to think:
Maybe you initially idealized a partner?
Maybe you came up with something that was not there?
Maybe you are too immersed in your partner and have forgotten what your life is?
Maybe it's time to think about what brings you joy, a feeling of fullness and pleasure from life?
Maybe you have chosen the wrong person with whom you would like to live?
It is important to remember that love relationships are only one of the areas of life where we develop, but there are other areas that require attention. For example, parents, colleagues, friends, children, hobbies, hobbies, entertainment, appearance. Only by paying attention to all facets, a person feels whole and self-sufficient.
DON'T BE A VICTIMS
In order not to fall into addiction, you need to ask yourself questions as often as possible:
What do I want right now for myself? What else will please and fill me at that moment when there is no loved one nearby? In what area do I want to develop? What makes me confident? What else makes me joyful? affairs and relationships time with pleasure and enjoyment?
Meet with loved ones, parents, brothers and sisters more often. Rod is our strength and support! Meet your friends. Such communication fills, broadens one's horizons and allows one to look at what is accepted by others. Sometimes you can get good feedback from friends. Build friendly relationships with colleagues. Engage in your development. Invest in your knowledge, skills and abilities. Pay attention to your inner state. Take responsibility for everything that happens to you. And remember - there is no limit to perfection! True love is a place for "I", "you" and "we".
