Older men attraction

Why Am I Attracted to Older Men? (30 Reasons from Experts)

Have you ever asked yourself why you’re drawn to older men? Is it because they seem more mature, stable, and experienced in certain areas of life?

What is it about them that pulls you in and makes them so appealing? Is there any explanation behind this attraction?

If these questions are things you’ve always been curious about, you’ve come to the right place.

According to relationship experts, here are reasons why you are attracted to older men:

Amelia Prinn

Relationship Expert and Editor in Chief, Her Way

The heart wants what it wants. But you can’t help but wonder why your heart happens to want an older man. Is it just a mere coincidence? In my seven years of work as a relationship expert, I noticed a pattern.

There are a few common reasons why some women fall for older men:

Older men are emotionally stable and mature

Or at least you expect them to be. That is precisely one of the reasons you’re attracted to them.

They have mastered the art of communication
They have reached amazing levels of self-awareness
They are not afraid to show their feelings
They are realistic
They have a lot more patience than average guys of your age

Basically, an older man has no doubts about what he wants. And the best part is that he isn’t afraid to get it either.

Related: How to Figure out What You Want in a Relationship

An older man knows how to please a woman

Many people will assume that younger guys are better in the bedroom. After all, they’re probably fit and have more physical strength. Little do they know that experience beats all of this.

An older man knows how to please a woman. He has probably slept with more women than a guy your age and has encountered different types of females. He has had more than one chance to learn from his mistakes, which led him to perfection.

Besides, he has spent an entire eternity trying to figure out his preferences in the bedroom. He is not afraid to talk about sex and to tell you how to please him better.

At the end of the day, you don’t want to be someone’s learning experience. You don’t want a guy who needs teaching—that is why you are attracted to men who know what they’re doing.

They have a clear vision of the future

One thing that pushes you away from guys your age is their inconsistency. In most cases, they play mind games and send mixed signals. You don’t know where you stand and don’t have the time or energy to figure it out.

Related: Why Do Some Men Pull Away When They Are Falling in Love?

That is exactly why you go to older men. These men don’t have a problem putting a label on your relationship and have a clear vision of the future. They don’t play hard to get, and they see hot and cold games as a waste of time.

What woman wouldn’t be attracted to something like this?

You’re looking for a father figure in the men you’re dating

When you tell someone that you’re attracted to older men, most people will accuse you of having unresolved daddy issues. Even though this might sound like an empty phrase, most experts, including myself, will state that there is some truth to it.

According to some research, many young girls who go after older guys have dealt with an absent father in their childhood.

I’m not talking about a physically absent father here only. Your father might be a figure in your life, but he was never actually emotionally present. He didn’t provide you with everything you craved; now, you’re trying to heal your inner child.

So, what are you doing? You’re looking for a father figure in the men you’re dating. This is especially true for women who didn’t have a father at all while growing up.

Even though having “daddy issues” is not a psychological condition, it really can impact your relationships with men. Simply put, you’re looking for a father replacement—a man who will give you everything your father failed to provide.

You’re searching for financial security most men your age cannot give you

Dating an older man doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re a gold digger looking for a sugar daddy. But the truth is that you’re searching for financial security most men your age cannot give you.

You want security in the sense that you won’t be stuck with someone you have to support in the end. You don’t like the notion of being the only one earning and providing, so an older man with a steady job gives you the confidence it won’t come to that.

You see it as an opportunity to learn new things

When you meet an older man, he can knock you off your feet with his rich life experience in a blink of an eye. You see this relationship as an opportunity to learn new things — something you can’t do with a guy your age.

Instead of guiding him through life, you let him take the lead. He shows you the way because he has already gone down all the roads you’re just now venturing.

Michaela Bosquet Lambert

Transformational Love Coach, Your Second Soulmate

It’s their sense of security

Being with an older man can give a woman a sense of security, as he is usually more established in his career and has achieved more financial stability than his younger counterparts.

In this case, attraction comes from female hardwiring, especially if a woman’s biological clock is ticking. It’s far easier for her to consider having children if the man has the financial means to take care of her and the kids.

They give the opportunity to heal old wounds

We often choose partners who give us the chance to heal wounds that have been sustained during our formative years.

If your father was absent or if you spent a lot of your childhood chasing his affection and approval, then the chances are that you’ll subconsciously be attracted to an older man with some of the traits you associate with your father.

We are usually drawn to these relationships out of an underlying desire to heal the father’s wound through a “father figure” relationship.

Related: 8 Best Books That Help Families Heal From Trauma

There is likely a two-way fascination

If there is a significant age gap, there will likely be a two-way fascination. The younger woman (mainly if she’s attractive) will boost the older man’s perceived status and make him feel like he has won a grand prize.

Consequently, he will treat the woman better than her previous (younger) partners had treated her.

In return, the younger woman will:

Tend to treat the older man with more respect than women of his own age would treat him.
She will also appreciate his more mature outlook on life which might seem more attractive than the younger men she had previously dated.
She is more likely to respect his point of view and the wisdom that comes from his experience in life.

Related: How to Be More Mature in a Relationship

An older man who has already lived a full life before coming together with his younger partner can be extremely attractive.

Christan Marashio

Certified Dating Coach and Behavior Specialist, Dateology Coach

It’s because of your attachment style

Who we’re attracted to is often informed by our attachment style and relationship with our primary caregiver.

If someone with an anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment style finds themselves repeatedly drawn to the same type of person, that could result from repetition compulsion. This is a result of a core wound that needs resolution.

Sometimes we’re unconsciously drawn to older partners in an attempt to meet a need previously unmet by our primary caregiver. We repeat the pattern as a way to self-soothe.

Unfortunately, the relief is usually temporary. Due to the maladaptive attachment style, we’re ultimately drawn to people incapable of meeting our needs long-term or consistently. So the cycle continues.

They have an unshakeable sense of who they are

In 2022, women aren’t looking for providers. They’re looking for equals. They want a man with an unshakeable sense of who they are so they don’t have to make themselves smaller to be more palatable.

A man with life experience is more likely to understand the complexities of identity and appreciate a woman’s emotional intelligence without feeling threatened by either.

Dyann Bridges

Life, Relationship, and Performance Coach, The Relaters Manual for Men | Author, “The Relaters Manual“

It’s a matter of transference

When I’ve heard female clients say how attracted they are to older men, it’s usually because they had a strong attachment to their father in a positive way.

He made her feel safe and comforted as a girl. He was the protector she needed. The girl loved her father because of these qualities.

As a girl matures sexually, she can transfer these feelings of love and affection she had toward her father toward an older man. It feels natural, especially if the older man makes her feel the same way her father did.

When we’re young, our minds are not discerning. The young are emotional and instinctual. As a girl goes through puberty, she’s often catapulted into the throes of hormonal chaos.

Her father may be the one male who gives her a sense of stability during this time. If she is heterosexual, it feels natural to transfer feelings of affection toward feelings of attraction to an older man when she’s ready to date.

The love and support of a father (or father figure) create a deep subconscious desire to recreate that feeling with a man when a girl becomes a woman.

This can often happen with older men who give the woman the same feeling as her father did.

It may be because of daddy issues

Sometimes little girls are sexually abused by their fathers, an older male relative, or a man in the neighborhood. When this happens, the psyche sometimes seeks to protect itself by inverting the damage done.

Instead of loathing the man who took advantage of her, a little girl might blame herself. She may grow up feeling a sense of obligation toward older men, especially if they show affection toward her.

If there was little physical pain involved in the sexual abuse, a child’s mind could twist it into something she wants to do instead of resisting.

Resistance can be painful. The psyche seeks to shield us from pain, especially when we’re innocent. This is why you’ll see promiscuity among young women. They are trying very hard to please “daddy.”

The attention and affection of an older man become something she must attain. Her subconscious mind will often twist the abuse, so she feels like she must do something to gain “daddy’s” favor. Otherwise, she might get badly hurt or even die.

In the end, it doesn’t matter too much who you love as long as both people treat each other with love and respect.

Kevin Thibodeaux

Dating and Relationship Coach, From Casual to Serious

They have more wisdom and experience

By definition, older men have lived longer; therefore, they have more time to experience things that help them learn and grow.

Wisdom is the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment. This quality can be captivating to some.

Related: What Is the Difference Between Knowledge and Wisdom?

They are more stable and established

Older men have had more time to stabilize and become established. The stability and establishment enable confidence which can be appealing.

They are more mature

Older men tend to be more mature, responsible, and accountable. Who’s not attracted to that?

They have a distinguished look

Older men can appear more distinguished because they have grown into their physiques. They may also have subtle gray hair, which can have an air of distinction. The distinguished look can be quite alluring.

Their secure nature and self-development can be mesmerizing

Older men have probably grown more secure in who they are and what they have become. They may have also done the self-work “to be” and “to do” and connect with others better.

In the end, the knowledge that these insights are possible with older men can add to the attraction of experiencing them.

Robin Sutherns

Relationship and Style Editor, Galtelligence

There is a stigma associated with when women date older men. Women also often receive negative judgment for dating a man older than them. It’s high time that we normalize the concept of true love despite age gaps.

Here are common reasons why women tend to be attracted to older men:

You could be looking for love from your father

It could be because some women had absent fathers as a child and are looking for someone who can replace the love and attention they did not receive from their fathers.

It could also mean these women had a close bond with their fathers and were looking for the same qualities in a partner.

They are financially secured

Some women find financial security in older men. Not necessarily because they want men to buy the latest luxury items but because they see them as stable, financially mature, and who can take care of a family (if they end up together).

They know how the world works

Obviously, older men lived longer than you to know how the world works. They are often perceived as more likely to work on and nurture the relationship and learn from it.

Older men are sexy

Some older men are simply hot and oozing with appeal. Think Brad Pitt or George Clooney. Gray-haired men are often associated with respect, strength, and maturity.

Did I mention that they tend to be better in bed, too?

They don’t play games

Older men tend to be straightforward. If he likes someone, he will tell her directly and make her feel assured that his feelings are real and that he is too old to play games.

There is nothing wrong with liking older men. We should normalize loving someone romantically despite age gaps.

Related: How Do You Know If You Like Someone Romantically

Rori Sassoon

Relationship Expert | Co-Founder, Platinum Poire

You may be seeking to fulfill a void in your paternal life

Whether your father was absent, jetted in and out of your life, or sadly passed away, daddy issues can come in any form.

When you’re attracted to an older man, you may be (subconsciously or not) seeking to fulfill a void in your paternal life. It is very common to find that bond in an older man.

You are an old soul

Not all women are made alike, and some women appreciate a more mature man. A woman who has experienced more in life from an early age may naturally gravitate toward an older partner.

You seek the comfortability of an older partner

Men take longer to mature. With men being more commonly known as the breadwinner, a woman may seek financial protection from a man who has been successful in his career.

He knows who he is, what he wants, and has a certain joie de vivre.

You feel that an older man has your best interests at heart

Sometimes, the heart wants what the heart wants. Some women crave a man of experience, knowledge, and protection.

They’ll feel that an older man has their best interests at heart—alongside being around the block and knowing how the world works.

Megan Santiago

Mental Health Counselor Intern | Founder, Holistic-Momma

Women look for men who can provide for them in the future

The reason women are attracted to men older than them is that women look for men who can provide for them in the future if need be.

Women are in a vulnerable place in that they risk becoming pregnant, and being with someone who could still financially support their family if they did get pregnant puts their minds at ease.

Women like to be with someone mature and responsible

Another reason is that the prefrontal cortex is a part of the brain that creates rational thinking, and research says that it is not developed until around age 25. Therefore women like to be with someone mature and responsible.

Being older and having more life experience can also increase the man’s chances of having some emotional intelligence and knowing what he wants by now.

Age does not always equal maturity, but experiencing more life events can mature individuals and help them prioritize what is most important.

Emotional intelligence and understanding of a woman that may come across as angry but is petrified can be a turn-on for women to feel understood and cared for.

This goes for both men and women: understanding how you think and why you feel that way makes for a healthier long-term relationship.

Related: 10 Signs of a Good and Healthy Relationship

Sameera Sullivan

Relationship Expert, Sameera Sullivan Matchmakers

They lack the insecurities that younger men possess

Finding older men attractive might seem odd to experience, but it is very typical. Most women feel a sense of security with older men as they believe they tend to be more accomplished.

Another common reason is that women believe that older men usually lack the insecurities that younger men tend to possess and are more sure of themselves.

Related: Why Are People Insecure?

Also, older men come off as easier to communicate with as women believe they have better communication skills.

Plus, older men have more clarity in life which is an attractive trait for most women, so the next time you wonder why you are feeling a certain way towards older me, don’t be ashamed of it,

Michelle Devani

Founder, Love Devani

They are more mature in handling things

As I encountered many people as a relationship and dating expert, they have different perspectives in choosing whether they will enter a relationship with an older man or not.

And the reason why people are attracted to older men is that they like people who are:

more mature than them,
who can lead them, and
who knows better than them.

Most older people tend to be more caring, mature in handling things, and serious in everything they do.

Some might say that age doesn’t matter, but I think it does. It expresses how the relationship might go.

Arthur Worsley

Founder, The Art of Living | Author, “Stop Working Harder“

You modeled your ideal man in your father’s image

You have been raised by a strong, loving, emotionally available father, and you have modeled your ideal man in his image.

Every girl’s image of her ideal man is first affected by her father figure. If she has been raised by a loving and emotionally available father figure, chances are, she will try to find that in her future mate.

Since guys tend to mature more slowly than girls, especially when it comes to their emotions, women typically find stability, emotional availability, and love from older men.

This is the psychology of why some women are attracted to older men.

Leslie Radka

Founder and Hiring Manager, Great People Search

I’ve always felt that being attracted to older men is reasonable and well merited. I believe that women who are attracted to older men are after certain character traits in them, rather than just their age.

Keep in mind that you might be old and not have these character traits, or on the other hand, you might be 25 and already brandish these attractive traits that women are excited about.

They most likely passed their wild phase and are ready to settle down

One reason women like older men is for the basic fact that they are more mature. As you know, women generally mature earlier than men.

She may be ready to enter a serious relationship, but he is on the other end of the spectrum and wants to explore new, different things and people before committing.

Related: How to Tell if a Guy Is Confused About His Feelings for You

This is one reason many women feel that guys their own age are not the right fit for them. So they turn to an older man, who has most likely passed his wild phase and is ready to settle down and start a family of his own.

They can be looked up to as a personal hero

Another reason is that older men have more experience in life. They have been through plenty of experiences in life which has taught them various lessons.

As a result, they are more:

calm,
patient,
and understanding.

They don’t get easily upset at my mistakes and can understand and help me better when I’m having my share of bad days.

Women feel attracted to a person they can look up to as a personal hero while knowing that they are loved back, wanted, and understood.

They give a sense of security

The other main reason women are attracted to older men is that they give them a sense of security. Security is one of the basic needs of a woman, and who else could provide it better than a respectful, financially stable, mature man?

As younger men, in general, are still trying to figure things out in their own lives, women easily gravitate towards older men who have less mess and more stability in life—who can promise them the security they want.

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

We are sorry that this post was not useful for you!

Let us improve this post!

Tell us how we can improve this post?

Why Am I Attracted To Older Men? 10 Reasons Why

Last Updated on September 19, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester

Why am I attracted to older men? is a question a lot of younger girls ask when they find their gaze lingering on the silver fox-haired guy.

It’s a legitimate question because society indirectly tells us we should date people our own age.

But there are several reasons you might be attracted to older men, such as you’ve got daddy issues, you want financial security, and older men are more likely to work on the relationship.

Unfortunately, there is a stigma attached to younger women dating older men, which is why people stare at you when you’re with your significant other, or the shop assistant says something like, “Well, I’m sure your dad won’t mind.”

But the reality is, you can’t allow societal pressures to dictate how you live your life, or you’ll never be happy. So ignore the haters and date whoever you want.

In the meantime, here are ten reasons why you’re attracted to older men.

Is It Normal To Be Attracted To Older Guys?

Even though younger women receive judgment, hate, and ridicule for dating older men, it’s normal, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Many years ago, it was how things were during the Victorian era. Men married younger women.

Reading Suggestion: The 10 Best Excuses To Not Hang Out With Someone

Research suggests that women of child-bearing age seek out men between eight to ten years older than them because they believe they are more willing to settle down and they’ll be able to provide for a family.

The only reason women get paranoid about it is society’s flawed perceptions about women who date older men. Even if you’re in a mutually respectful and loving relationship, some women are labeled as golddiggers who are only with the guy for his money.

Reading Suggestion: 20 Signs an Older Man is Falling in Love With You

Older men are labeled as perverts, but there appears to be a double standard when it’s a celebrity couple. No one bats an eyelid at the George and Amal Clooney’s of this world with their seventeen-year age gap.

They’re congratulated for it, but the average joes get all the stick! Anyway, don’t worry about your preference for older men, stop focusing on what other people have to say, and date whoever you’re attracted to because life is too short!

10 Reasons Why You Are Attracted To Older Guys

Older men can be extremely attractive, but other than looks, there are several reasons why you might be attracted to them.

Such as you’ve got daddy issues, you want financial security, and they are more likely to work on the relationship. Keep reading to gain more insight into why you’re attracted to older guys.

#1 You’ve Got Daddy Issues

Psychologists suggest that women who like older men have attachment issues with men they see as a father figure. Your father was absent as a child, or he failed to provide you with the love and attention you needed.

You may have had an exceptionally close relationship with your father, and you are looking for the same in a partner. Late psychologist Sigmund Freud was the first to highlight the ‘daddy issues’ phenomenon when he spoke about the idea of the ‘father complex.’

He broke it down into two categories, the ‘Oedipus complex, and the ‘Electra complex.’ The Oedipus complex is when a young boy competes with his father for his mother’s attention.

The Electra complex is when young girls compete with their mother for their father’s attention. According to both theories, both complexes start at age three and should end by age five.

Reading Suggestion: Why Do Guys Flirt When They Are Not Interested?

If these complexes go unnoticed and there is no psychological intervention, it can cause problems in adult relationships. One of those consequences is that women are attracted to older men in an attempt to replicate their father-daughter relationship.

#2 You Want Financial Security

If you are looking for financial security in a relationship, you are more likely to find it in older men.

Maybe you’ve been in too many relationships with guys your age who couldn’t afford to take you to McDonald’s, let alone look after a family.

In general, women seek out financially secure men not so they can buy the latest Gucci sandals but because it ensures they can take care of a family if they end up settling down.

Additionally, because men understand their role in society and know they are expected to provide, younger men have no intentions of settling down until they are financially stable.

#3 They Are More Likely To Work On The Relationship

Older men understand that love is not a feeling. They know that those butterflies you get at the beginning of a relationship don’t last. That chemistry wears off, and most people call it quits when it does.

But because an older man has most likely experienced this and understands that love isn’t about feelings, it’s something that must be cultivated and nurtured, they are willing to do what is necessary to make the relationship work.

Reading Suggestion: How To Play Hard To Get With a Guy You’ve Already Slept With?

Think of love like this; it requires pressure and resistance for something to grow. In a relationship, that often comes in the form of conflict; it is what you manage to overcome that strengthens your relationship and not the intensity of the fireworks in your stomach.

#4 They Are Experienced

Older men are experienced in every area of life; they have been there, done that, and worn the t-shirt. They’ve traveled and appreciated the vast array of cultures.

They’ve been in enough relationships to know what works and what doesn’t. Older men have had their fair share of hard-knocks and understand that things don’t always work out as planned, and life isn’t always smooth-sailing.

They have a level of maturity that simply makes it easier to have a meaningful relationship with them.

#5 They Don’t Play Games

You won’t need to worry about playing games or an older man playing games with you. When you’re dating that hot young guy who probably has 25 other options apart from you, you know how it goes.

You play the ‘how long do I wait before I text him back game.’ Who’s going to call who first? How many times is too much to text throughout the day.

I’ll ignore him for a couple of days and see if he chases me. Older men don’t have time for that.

Reading Suggestion: How long Does it Take a Guy to Realize He Misses You?

First, they’ve played all the games and know when females are playing games. Second, they understand that time is short; they’ve lived most of their life, and they’re not going to waste the rest of it playing games.

If they like a woman, they will tell her and make her feel comfortable and secure enough so she doesn’t feel the need to play games.

#6 You Like The Silver Fox Look

Some older men are just hot…point blank, period! Think Denzel Washington, George Clooney, or Brad Pitt.

As they age, they get more and more attractive and have this magnetic quality that just makes them irresistible. The term silver fox originates from a rare breed of fox; they have silver hair, they’re clever, athletic, and eye-catching.

An accurate description of the George Clooney’s of this world, don’t you think? Additionally, a Match.com survey found that seventy-two percent of women are attracted to grey-haired men.

The reasons they gave were that gray hair is an indication of maturity and strength.

Reading Suggestion: 19 Signs Your Husband Doesn’t Value You Enough

#7 They Are More Respectful

In most cases, you won’t catch an older man bragging about his sexual escapades with their friends. Younger guys do this because they want to feel like the man in front of their comrades.

As soon as they’ve slept with you, they’re on the group chat the moment they get home bragging about how they made you orgasm ten times, even though he didn’t last two minutes.

Older men get tired of this bravado, so you won’t need to worry about having your intimate moments broadcast all over town.

#8 They Are Good In Bed

Yep…older men know how to work it between the sheets because they’ve had plenty of experience. They know exactly how to satisfy their women, and it’s something they thoroughly enjoy.

You’ll have no fumbling, awkward moments in bed with an older guy. Now that’s not to say he’s slept with a lot of women; his sexual expertise is simply a matter of years he’s had to perfect his skills.

During this time, he’s failed more than enough times to know what works and what doesn’t. Also, older men can handle constructive criticism.

They would prefer you told them that you don’t like something in the bedroom. Your honesty won’t bruise his ego like it would with a younger guy because he wants to make sure he gets it right.

#9 You Are Rebelling Against Your Parents

Do you have strict parents who have forbidden you to date men, let alone older men? Are they the authoritarian type who dictate every aspect of your life?

If so, then one way of secretly rebelling against them is to date who you know your parents will freak out about. And if you got caught, they’d ground you for eternity.

For the rebellious female, dating older men is more about the thrill of secretly getting revenge on your parents for being so strict.

#10 You Want To Date A Man With Money

If you enjoy the finer things in life, you have less chance of getting spoilt by a guy your age. Older single men want to date pretty young women and one way to woe them is to splash their cash.

It’s not uncommon for them to take their love interest on vacation, to fancy restaurants, and buy her expensive gifts.

Basically, you want a sugar daddy type of relationship where you both have a shared understanding of how things work between you, and you’re both comfortable with it.

What Does It Mean If You Like Older Men?

It means you like older men. Contrary to popular belief, there is nothing sinister about liking older men.

Most women with an older partner are not counting the days to the funeral to get their hands on his money.

Like any other person in a relationship with someone of a similar age, they are with their significant other because they are attracted to him, he’s got a great personality, and they enjoy being in a relationship with him.

Reading Suggestion: He Doesn’t Want a Relationship But Wants to be Friends

Nevertheless, if you’ve been messed around by younger guys, your attraction to older men may be because experience has taught you that older guys are more mature and more willing to settle down.

How Do You Attract Older Men?

Attracting older men isn’t rocket science; as with all men, you’re already ten steps ahead of the game if you’re attractive. But we also know that getting his attention is one thing, and keeping his attention is another.

The good news is that you can do things to keep his attention, including making sure you look good, don’t act your age, and don’t play games.

Research suggests that men are attracted to beauty. Now, this doesn’t mean you need to look like a catwalk model, but you should make an effort to look good.

Accentuate your best features with your clothes and makeup, wear a delicious smelling perfume and make sure you’re hair is on point.

Here are a few tips to make yourself look more attractive:

#1 Wear Red

According to research, red makes you look instantly more attractive because it triggers a man’s primal nature.

#2 Accentuate Your Hips

As Shakira sang, ‘the hips don’t lie!’ Men love a nice pair of hips on a woman, so wear figure-hugging clothes that accentuate your hips.

#3 Fix Your Posture

Are you a sloucher? A good posture shows you are comfortable in your skin and confident. Stand up straight by pushing your shoulders back, lifting your chin, and straightening your spine.

Reading Suggestion: 20 Honest Signs he Doesn’t Love You Enough

#4 Become Intentional About Smiling

Smiling more doesn’t mean you’ve got to walk around with a permanent cheesy grin on your face, but smiling more does make you look more attractive.

According to Dr. Jess Carbino, smiling helps break down people’s defenses. When someone sees you smiling, they smile back; smiling stimulates the release of the feel-good hormones endorphins.

So smile more when you get in the company of older men; they’re more likely to approach you.

#5 Use Open Body Language

We say more with our body language than we do when we speak.

In most cases, you can control what you say, but because body language is an unconscious response, you’ll often give the game away if you’re not confident about what you’re saying.

Open body language does two things: it makes you appear more confident and more approachable. If you stand with your arms folded in front of you, you create a barrier between yourself and the person who wants to approach you.

Reading Suggestion: 9 Flirty Texts To Get Him Chasing You

Crossed legs while seated can come across as aggressive and defensive; it signals that whoever is speaking to you should hurry up and get it over with because you’re not really interested in what they’ve got to say.

On the other hand, open body language, such as longer eye contact, signifies that a person is curious about and interested in what the person has to say.

Tilting the head to one side displaying the neck shows you are comfortable in your surroundings.

#6 Don’t Act Your Age

I’m not saying you should change who you are because that would make it very difficult to get comfortable in your relationship.

However, since older men are mature, you can’t put him in the same category as your female friends and act like a drunken fool on a night out. When you’re with your older guy, just tone it down and let him lead.

There may be times when it’s appropriate to act wild if he’s giving off those vibes. But in general, they’re a lot more reserved. Additionally, do more listening instead of talking.

Listening is a skill most people don’t possess. Are you the type to keep interrupting during a conversation and finishing their sentences? If so, cut that out when speaking to an older man because it shows your age.

#7 Don’t Play Games

Older men don’t have time to play games, and they’ll swiftly move on to the next if they suspect you’re doing so. If he decides he likes you, not only will he tell you, but he’ll show you.

There will be no doubt in your mind that you are his one and only. You will have a different experience dating an older man in comparison to a younger guy.

Reading Suggestion: How to tell a guy You Like Him?

You’ve almost got to play games with younger men because they’re so distracted, and their testosterone levels are so high that their minds are all over the place, including on other women.

So when you start dating a silver fox, don’t mess it up by playing games, or you’ll get dropped quicker than a hot potato!

#8 Act Confidently

Men, in general, do not like insecure women; it’s a massive turn-off when a female doesn’t value herself and seeks approval from men to feel worthy. There are several reasons why an insecure woman is off-putting:

It puts too much pressure on the man to keep giving her compliments to make you feel secure.
Insecure women are too emotional and make the relationship difficult. They get upset over everything, they hate it if their partner has female friends, and they’ll start a fight in the grocery store if they think their man has been looking at another woman for too long. They start arguments when their boyfriend goes out with his friends…the list is endless.
Men fear that an insecure woman will quickly seek validation in the arms of another man if they feel they’re not getting it from their partner.

So even if you don’t feel confident, fake it until you make it.

#9 Don’t Act Like a Golddigger

As you’ve read, one of the stigmas attached to women dating older men is they are using them for their money. Unless this is the type of relationship a man is looking for, he is likely to be suspicious of your intentions.

He would prefer to date a woman who’s got her stuff together for his peace of mind and so that prying eyes have no ammunition to make the gold digger accusation.

Not acting as a gold digger means don’t ever ask him for money, don’t expect him to buy you gifts. And every so often, offer to pay when you go out.

Additionally, show him that you’re capable of looking after yourself by talking about your job, and if you live alone or with roommates, let him know this.

#10 Ask Him For Advice

Don’t ask for advice about silly things you know you can take care of yourself just because it’s one way he’ll be more attracted to you.

But ask when you’ve got important life decisions to make. In this way, you show him you respect and value his opinion.

Additionally, it triggers the hero instinct; according to relationship expert James Bauer men are biologically wired to want to protect and provide for their women; when they can do this, they are more likely to stay in a relationship because it makes them feel needed.

Reading Suggestion: 13 Signs He Told His Friends About You

You see, it’s a bit of a tricky balance with men, you can’t be too independent because it puts them off, but you can’t be too dependent because it puts them off.

But what turns a man on is when an independent woman still needs him to do things for her.

Final Thoughts

Do any of these points resonate with you? If you feel you’re dating an older man because you’ve got daddy issues, you may need professional help to get over that.

Because regardless of a person’s age, dating when you’ve got unresolved childhood trauma is never a good idea as it can cause complications and may eventually lead to your relationship breaking down.

Other than that, date who you want to date and live your best life!

what does this mean and what are the reasons?

The longer you live in the world, the more you learn about strange sexual fantasies.

Content of Article

1 What
2 Called

4 Treatment
5 We are
6 Consolidation of material
7 Kino example

We all strive to keep youth, apply a bunch efforts to hide their real age.

Why are we doing this?

Well, obviously - everyone wants young, fresh and sexy boys and girls.

It turns out that not all of them.

We have gerontophilia on the agenda.

What

Gerontophilia is sexual disorder characterized by sexual attraction to the elderly people.

Important clarification: sex between two elderly people is not has nothing to do with gerontophilia.

Gerontophilus is a young man who for some reason attract persons several times older than him.

What should be the age difference between partners so that the youngest of them could be classified as gerontophiles?

As such no specific figures have been established. Some experts believe that the age difference between partners should be about fifty years old.

Here it is necessary to mention the existence of another paraphilia (sexual deviation) - graphophilia. Graophiles are more selective - they are attracted to specifically for older women.

Prevalence

We often see examples of unions in which one of partners are much older than the other.

Can we write each such pair in "gerontophilian"?

Of course not.

Gerontophilus experiences sexual (romantic) attraction to the elderly. Not for his welfare.

A young guy is turned on by his impressive age girlfriends, not her impressive bank account. The same is true with girls.

So not every "non-standard" pair has something in common with gerontophilia. With commercialism and cunning - perhaps.

Do not confuse attraction to women and men older than you for 10-15 years with gerontophilia.

If you are in your 20s and 30s and get turned on by 40 year old porn women, then ... you just turn on porn with 40-year-old women.

It is worth diagnosing yourself only if, in your 20-30 years old you like 70-year-old men and women.

Causes

Some experts believe that the reason lies in the fixation of the gerontophilus libido on a person who looks like one of the parents.
Not all young people start their sexual life the way they would like. If sex with peers for one reason or another does not bring sexual (moral?) satisfaction, a guy or girl can turn their attention to people, to put it mildly, older. Of course, not every unfortunate young lover, after a couple of failures, runs the risk of becoming a gerontophile. You won’t be able to get infected with this fetish if you don’t have the prerequisites.
Infantilism is the scourge of modern society. Twenty-year-olds seemed to be divided into two warring camps - some are in a hurry to plunge into adulthood, having barely received a certificate, while others desperately cling to childhood. It is the infantilism of young people that some experts consider the cause of the development of gerontophilia.

Sexual complexes and fears that prevent a young person from building relationships with peers are muffled when he communicates with older people.
Another possible reason for the development of gerontophilia is the presence of sadomasochistic inclinations.
Seduction of gerontophilus in childhood by elderly people.
Lack of attention from parents.

Treatment

Gerontophilia is included in the list of sexual disorders. Is it possible to recover from this unhealthy attraction?

Possibly, but the assistance of a qualified specialist.

Methods of treatment of gerontophilia:

Method of psychoanalysis
Hypnotherapy
Cognitive therapy
Drug treatment
Group therapy, including development communication skills and social adaptation

When should treatment be started? The experts claim that therapy should be resorted to only when a vicious desire interferes with patient to live. Many owners of this fetish learn to put up and live with it. ordinary life.

Among us

An example from life is a couple of Majori and Michael. Difference in the age between them is about sixty years (in favor of Majori).

That is, the guy is literally fit for her grandchildren.

Dozens of articles have been written about this couple, discussed and condemned.

Michael sings about the mature beauty of his girlfriend, praises her wrinkles and gray hair.

According to internet sources, the couple rarely goes out at home, spending a lot of time in bed.

Hmm, is that what we thought?

In this case, this non-standard couple can envy even relatively young lovers who have sex except on major holidays.

The audience immediately convicted Michael of self-interest, they say, he loves not Majori, and her money.

The happy woman herself assures that big does not have savings.

Then another interesting fact came to light - Michael has several more mature girlfriends.

Moreover, he does not hide their presence, and the jealous girlfriend is already reconciled with it.

If we discard the jokes and analyze this information, it is easy to conclude that Michael is a gerontophile. And his constant partner, and one-time friends are older women. As you can see, he is from his fetish does not suffer and enjoys life. Not only that, it helps gray-haired ladies don't get bored in retirement.

Consolidation of material

Gerontophilia - sexual attraction to men and elderly women (by a young man).
Graophilia - sexual attraction to the elderly women (by a young man).
To be considered a gerontophile, you must to be attracted to people much older than themselves. Exact numbers have not been established, but the difference in age should be about forty to fifty years.
To be cured of gerontophilia to some extent Maybe. But specialists resort to medical treatment only in exceptional cases. Initially, sessions are used for treatment. psychotherapy.

Film example

World cinema is rich in films on any subject. But paraphilia films are not superhero epics.

Such pictures often remain somewhere on the sidelines, but critics at film festivals and gourmet connoisseurs of non-standard enjoy them movie.

One of these films is Bruce LaBruce's "Gerontophilia".

Title "Gerontophilia"
Year of release: 2013
Country: Canada

Film duration: 1 hour 19 min. He no different from his peers. For the time being.

He begins to become sexually attracted to older people men.

Lake understands that this is not normal. They start to visit thoughts that he is mentally ill.

He looks at older people and imagines how they are were young. In his fantasies he sees all these old men full of life energy of youth and sexual attractiveness.

Life gives him the opportunity to become closer to those who is so attracted to him.

He gets a job at a nursing home.

The unsightly interior of such establishments opens up to him - patients are drugged to keep them unconscious condition.

Lake meets Mr. Peabody. old gentleman and young man communicate more and more.

Getting closer and closer to each other.

Lake fulfills the dream of his new lover.

But that's not all...

Gerontophilia

The translation of the word gerontophilia from Greek means love for elders. This is a kind of fetishism, when sexual desire is not due to a certain personality, but to the age of the woman / man. It can also be a love for old women, associated with sadism. However, such a deviation is extremely rare.

Causes of gerontophilia

In psychotherapy and sexology, gerontophilia is regarded as a disorder of sexual desire. This disease is an unhealthy sexual attraction to the elderly. It is observed in people suffering from psychopathy (personality disorder), schizophrenia and mentally retarded people. Causes of gerontophilia:

the result of molestation of minors, seduction of children and adolescents by older people;
the first sexual experience associated with an adult, in the future may affect the characteristics of sexual desire;
lack of confidence in one's own sexual abilities. A man is afraid of the "gluttony" of a young girl. His fear goes away with contacts with less demanding older partners;
with age, a person tries to find solace, to compensate for the lack of attention to himself from adults in childhood. This is explained by the child's attitude to an adult as a role model, an ideal;
problems of puberty, improper sexual education can cause illness;
infantilism, weak sexual desire, especially in girls;
sadism. Love against the background of sadism for older people who cannot stand up for themselves, they are weak and defenseless;
the desire of girls suffering from masochism to obey men of advanced age;
girls' attraction to older men is explained by the desire to gain experience.

During their school years, many girls fall in love with teachers, artists and adult actors. Young schoolgirls are attracted to older men. This is nothing more than a desire to meet someone who could protect just like a father. This is especially important for those girls who grew up without a father. In this way, they try to compensate for what they did not receive in childhood - paternal love and care.

Treatment of gerontophilia

Sexual perversions are serious changes in the nature and characteristics of sexual desire. Any deviation contributes to the desire to have sexual intercourse in an unusual setting, in a strange way, with an inadequate sexual partner.

Psychotherapy with the use of psychotropic drugs can help to get rid of this sexual disorder. In most cases, treatment is successful. However, drug therapy of sexual deviations cannot completely solve the problem. Taking hormones is advisable only with obvious endocrine disorders. If it is painful for a person to deal with sudden sexual impulses, then taking antipsychotics will not be superfluous.

Psychotherapy sessions with an experienced therapist work best. Here a person will have the opportunity to understand himself and, together with a psychologist, try to solve the problem.

Prevention of various kinds of sexual perversions is based on the correct upbringing of children. Instill in your child high moral qualities, various interests and aspirations, form his self-esteem. These factors reduce the risk of bizarre sexual tendencies. Also remember not to underestimate the role of more sexually experienced companions in your child's life. You are unlikely to succeed in protecting your child from them, but being a true friend for him is the main task. In adolescence, trust between children and parents is important. A worthy example of the latter will contribute to the principle of child duplication.

Transvestism

Such a concept as transvestism is unknown today, probably only to the lazy. Men dressed in dresses or (less often) women in the guise of men are a very real phenomenon of modern society. But few people think about what causes such a "masquerade". We tried to understand its psychological subtleties.

Frottery

What kind of entertainment people do not find for themselves because of the lack of sexual life! Even exhibitionism, or more simply, showing others around their genitals, is not the worst thing that can be found in everyday life. And only frotterism can be worse, in which at rush hour someone can start rubbing their genitals on you. We will discuss this problem in more detail below.

Antisocial personality disorder

When we talk about a personality, we mean not only a holistic image of a person. First of all, personality is a certain structure on which a person relies in his life. And she tends to get upset. We decided to figure out what antisocial personality disorder is.

Signs of stress

Many illnesses of the soul and body tend to sneak up unnoticed.

Learn more