Signs of neglect in a relationship

24 Sad Signs & Consequences of Emotional Neglect in a Relationship

When we are in a relationship, we expect to be loved and cherished. But many times, emotional neglect is something that can ruin a partnership.

A truly loving relationship is mutually beneficial. You want to build up your partner to make them feel good and support them to be the best they can be. You do so because you love them. It makes you feel good to see them doing well. However, not all relationships are like that, making the recognition of the signs of emotional neglect in a relationship essential. Because sometimes relationships turn toxic.

What is emotional neglect in a relationship?

Very simply, emotional neglect is when a person is deprived of the basic expectations and needs from the relationship. If you feel like someone you love is hurting you emotionally by not giving you love, that is when you feel emotionally neglected by them.

This could happen to a child who is deprived of their emotional needs by the parent, a romantic partner who is emotionally ignored by their partner, and also, between friends when one friend feels used and taken for granted by the other.

What makes someone emotionally neglect you?

When it comes to romantic relationships, this can be down to one partner lacking empathy, not being particularly interested, or simply having narcissistic tendencies that aren’t so obvious, or it can be because events within a relationship have caused it to completely break down.

Whatever the reason, an unhealthy relationship with emotional neglect can run you into the ground, zap away your self-esteem, and cause you to feel completely alone.

To understand how to heal from emotional neglect in a relationship, we need to learn to recognize the signs of neglect, and take a deeper look at the causes. We’ll do all of that here AND look into the consequences and what you can do to nip emotional neglect in the bud.

[Read: Are you feeling neglected in a relationship? Why it hurts and how to get over it]

So first, what causes emotional neglect?

The causes of emotional neglect in a relationship

The specific causes of emotional neglect vary from relationship to relationship. However, the underlying theme tends to be a shift in the support one partner gives to the other.

The cause could be anything from a new job, having a baby, or an affair.

The causes could even be deeper than these issues. It could be because of an individual’s own attachment problems. If someone never learned how to have a healthy, supportive, loving relationship in their childhood, then they will struggle to be emotionally available in their own romantic relationships.

Just because someone is emotionally neglectful in their relationship doesn’t mean that they can’t change with enough guidance and effort. It might even be difficult, but they can learn new skills, especially with the help of a trained professional.

Now let’s take a look at some common signs of emotional neglect. [Read: The raw psychological effects of being ignored by someone you love]

Am I being emotionally neglected? The subtle signs of emotional neglect in a relationship

Emotional neglect is just as damaging as physical abuse. They are both things that should never be present in a relationship. Sadly, many people find themselves in this very situation.

Sometimes the neglect is so carefully disguised that you can go for months or even years without realizing that you’re being subjected to emotional abuse or neglect. For that reason, understanding the signs of emotional neglect in a relationship is key.

1. Regular bouts of gaslighting

This one isn’t so easy to spot straight away, mostly because gaslighting is extremely subtle. It’s a form of manipulation that narcissists regularly use. Unfortunately, it’s all too common too. Gaslighting means that you cause someone to doubt themselves, sometimes to the point where they doubt their own sanity. [Read: How to spot gaslighting in a relationship and learn how to shut it down for good]

For instance, your partner might arrange to meet you after work at your favorite restaurant at the end of a busy working week. You get excited, wait outside the restaurant as planned, only for them not to turn up.

When you call to ask them where they are, they deny any knowledge of arranging the meeting. They make you question whether it actually happened or not.

Over time, gaslighting is extremely dangerous and certainly one of the signs of emotional neglect in a relationship to be aware of.

2. Saying one thing and doing another

Inconsistency is not attractive. Sometimes, it’s carefully hidden and erodes away at your happiness in a relationship.

If your partner is regularly saying they’re going to do one thing, but then they do the exact opposite, it’s not only frustrating, but it’s a sign of disrespect and emotional neglect too.

If someone cares about you, they will do as they say. Sure, we all make mistakes occasionally. If it’s a regular thing, it’s something to view as a red flag. [Read: The scary signs you’re in a toxic relationship that is breaking you]

3. Simply not listening to what you say

If your partner often cuts you off mid-sentence, changes the subject, or doesn’t listen to you at all, they don’t respect you. Everyone is allowed a voice.

Everyone deserves to be listened to. If your partner is constantly cutting you off and just not listening, it’s one of the major signs of emotional neglect in a relationship.

4. Often putting you down

This sign can either be in private or in front of others. The damage is the same either way. In a healthy relationship, you want to build up your partner and make them feel good.

You see the best in them. If your partner is always pointing out your negative traits or pulling you down, it’s not a sign of a healthy relationship. [Read: All the ways manipulative people emotionally mess with your mind]

5. Blaming you for every little thing

If you often find that whatever goes on in life is always your fault, the chances of that being true are slim. You are not to blame for everything. Sure, we all do things occasionally and it’s our fault when the outcome is negative.

But if your partner is making you feel like you’re to blame for everything, that’s a huge red flag. Healthy relationships create a sense of safety. Even if you do make a mistake, you work through it together. [Read: 34 big relationship red flags that most people ignore early on]

6. They make you feel like you’re worthless

This is one of the major signs of emotional neglect in a relationship. And it is certainly one of the side effects of gaslighting.

Narcissists often make their partners feel like they’re worth nothing so that they stick around and don’t attempt to leave for someone else.

It’s abuse, plain and simple. You’re not worthless. No loving partner should ever make you feel that way. [Read: Why and how a narcissist so subtly can control you]

7. Never sitting down to talk

Not everyone likes deep and heavy conversations. Nevertheless, sometimes you have to talk about things in some way.

If your partner simply refuses to acknowledge a problem in the relationship, never wants to sit and talk about important things, and always brushes it off as not important, it’s a sign of emotional abuse over the long term.

When you neglect your partner, you fail to give them what they need from you. If you need to discuss something and your partner flatly refuses, they’re neglecting your emotional needs.

8. Not being there for you when you really need them

Everyone struggles sometimes. If you just need a hug from your partner and they’re never there for you, they’re neglecting your basic needs. In a relationship, it’s important to be each other’s biggest fans.

It also means being there when someone is having a bad day or struggling with a particular issue. [Read: Am I being taken for granted? 16 discreet signs to watch out]

9. Never meeting your eyes

You might think that eye contact is nothing special, but when your partner never looks you directly in the eye, they’re basically showing you that you’re insignificant to them.

It’s also a sign that they’re hiding something. It does nothing but makes you feel worried and potentially paranoid. That’s not a good state to be in.

10. They make everything about them

We can all be selfish or self-absorbed occasionally, but if everything is always your partner’s needs, they’re failing to meet yours. Everything should be equal.

While it’s normal for the balance to tip slightly if your partner is going through a rough time, it should never be over a prolonged period of time. [Read: Selfishness in relationships and 15 ways to do the right thing]

11. Giving you the cold shoulder

If you say or do something which your partner doesn’t like, do they give you the cold shoulder or come over all passive-aggressive?

This is a common thing to occur in abusive relationships. It neglects your emotional needs because they’re not opening up and talking to you. A supportive partner will communicate when they’re not happy about something, in a way that is constructive and non-blaming.

12. They don’t make an effort with your nearest and dearest

We all want our partners to get along with our friends and family members. Even if your partner isn’t the greatest fan of someone in your inner circle, they should make an effort and not allow it to show.

If your partner doesn’t even try, they simply don’t care. This is one of the signs of emotional neglect in a relationship over time. [Read: 20 signs you’re a people pleaser and don’t even know it!]

13. You regularly feel alone, even when they’re next to you

This is a huge red flag. Someone who isn’t having their emotional needs met will always feel lonely, even if the person they love is next to them. If you never feel loved and supported, it’s time to question the relationship. [Read: 28 truths about feeling alone in a relationship and how to fix it ASAP]

The consequences of emotional neglect in a relationship

Being emotionally neglected by your partner can have some negative consequences for the person who’s being neglected. Let’s take a look at some of them.

1. Being overwhelmed and discouraged

When you are emotionally neglected in a relationship, you are probably trying to resist it by putting more effort into the relationship.

However, when your efforts aren’t met with the same effort from your partner, it causes you to be overwhelmed with trying to fix it. And when no changes happen, it can lead to a feeling of discouragement. [Read: Feeling hopeless – How to stop feeling overwhelmed and see hope again]

2. Depression

If a person has been emotionally neglected for a long time, then it can lead to depression. Whether it’s situational depression or the clinical type, it should be dealt with. Being neglected and depressed at the same time is a toxic combination.

3. Low self-esteem

When you are being ignored by the person you love, it’s not surprising that it would lead to low self-esteem. You might have thoughts like, “What’s wrong with me?” or “What am I doing wrong?” or “I am not worthy of their love.”

4. Perfectionism

In the person’s mind, they might think that if they were a better person, then they wouldn’t be emotionally neglected by their partner. So, this could lead to perfectionism.

They think if they can just be perfect, then their significant other would pay more attention to them. [Read: How to love yourself – the 23 best ways to find love and happiness]

5. Feeling numb

When you are emotionally neglected, you might just feel numb. You might cut yourself off from your own emotions so you don’t feel the pain of abandonment.

6. Blaming yourself

If you are also being mentally abused, you might start to think that it’s all your fault. Similar to being a perfectionist, you think that if you were better or did things differently, then you would have a loving relationship. You take all the responsibility and the blame as well.

How to deal with emotional neglect in a relationship

If you think you are being emotionally neglected, what can you do about it? There are steps you can take because living in a relationship where there is no affection or intimacy can be toxic to your life.

1. Don’t be a victim

We know you feel like a victim. However, while your partner’s behavior is hurtful to you, it’s important that you don’t play the “victim card.”

If you do, you’ll most likely be accusatory and tell your partner everything they are doing wrong. [Read: Playing victim – 13 signs and reasons why it makes your life way worse]

It is important to talk to your partner, but try not to make them defensive because then you won’t be able to work through it. You can have an initial conversation about your hurt feelings, but after that, just try to focus on solutions instead of blaming so you can have a healthy relationship.

2. Be proactive

As the saying goes, “it takes two to tango.” And while your partner is probably the one most at fault, you shouldn’t just sit back and do nothing.

Sometimes people don’t see their own behavior. So, if your partner doesn’t see that their behavior is neglectful and hurtful to you, it’s up to you to help them see their flaws and help them correct themselves.

3.

Try to spend quality time together

After having a conversation to tell them how you feel, then you can suggest spending more quality time together.

Tell them that you both need to get away from the stress of life and take some time to rediscover each other. Go on date nights or even take a trip if you can. This will allow you to reconnect. [Read: How to emotionally connect with someone – 21 steps to feel instantly closer]

4. Seek professional help

A lot of people simply don’t have the skills it takes to fix their own relationship. So, that’s why seeing help from a counselor or psychologist is very helpful.

This is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength. So, if your partner agrees to this, we definitely recommend going this route.

5. Be patient

Remember that change does not happen overnight. People are creatures of habit, so getting your partner to realize that they are being emotionally neglectful to you might not be easy.

And even when they do admit it, practicing the skills it will take to change will take time. So, just be patient with them and hope for the best.

[Read: How to know the signs you’re overly dependent on someone else for your happiness]

How many of these signs of emotional neglect in a relationship can you spot? Now that you know the consequences and the best ways to deal with neglect, never stay in a relationship that causes you to feel alone and doesn’t make you feel supported.

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14 Signs Of Emotional Neglect In A Relationship

Get expert help dealing with emotional neglect in your relationship whilst simultaneously working to improve the situation with your partner. Click here to chat online to someone right now.

Human beings have complex emotional needs, and when we’re in a relationship with someone, it’s very important for those needs to be met.

Emotional neglect can be tricky to identify in a relationship or marriage, but it can also be very damaging.

We can all feel like our emotional needs are neglected now and again, but it becomes a significant problem when it happens consistently.

Not only can it take its toll on your relationship, it can damage your self-esteem.

Here’s an insight into what emotional neglect in the context of a romantic relationship is, how to spot it, and what you can do about it.

What does emotional neglect really mean?

Emotional neglect is a concept that we’re more used to hearing about in child-parent relationships rather than romantic relationships or marriages.

But that doesn’t mean it can’t be a big issue between romantic partners.

Emotional neglect is when a partner or spouse consistently fails to take the other person’s feelings into account, or actively ignores those feelings or emotions. It’s a failure to respond adequately to a partner’s emotional needs.

Emotional abuse can be tricky to identify as it’s not tangible, but it does at least involve some kind of negative action. Emotional neglect, on the other hand, is about a complete lack of action.

Have you ever heard someone complaining about how their partner is emotionally unavailable?

If someone is emotionally neglectful of a partner, it can feel like they constantly have their walls up. They don’t take any notice of their partner’s feelings, and definitely don’t do anything about them.

If you don’t have the emotional connection with your partner or spouse that you’d like to have, it can be difficult to pinpoint exactly what it is that they do or don’t do that makes you feel that way.

But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect you. It can make you feel un-loved and take its toll on your self-esteem. Not being noticed sends you the message that your feelings and needs just don’t matter.

As it’s so difficult to identify emotional neglect, we’ve put together some signs that should help you to spot it if it’s present in your relationship or marriage.

14 signs of emotional neglect in a relationship.

1. The focus is always on them.

Their life and their needs are always the center of attention. Your achievements or bad days go unacknowledged, but they expect you to celebrate or commiserate with them.

They’re the center of their own world, and you feel like a side show.

2. They aren’t the first person you want to tell.

You get some good news or some bad news and your first instinct is to tell… your best friend, or your mother, or your brother, or whoever it is.

Your partner or spouse isn’t the first person you want to tell, because you know you won’t get the reaction you’re hoping for or the support you need.

3. You feel like you’re on your own in the relationship.

Your overwhelming feeling is that there’s actually only one of you in this relationship. That they’re not really present at all.

You don’t feel like you have their support or like they’re committed to making the relationship or marriage work.

You can’t shake the feeling of being lonely, even when they’re right next to you.

4. They shut down when you try to talk to them.

If you try to talk to them about any issues in your relationship, they just close off.

They shut down, flat out ignore you, or even leave the room when you try to discuss any issues, or your future together.

They don’t engage in arguments with you, as that would just be too much like hard work and would mean the two of you would then have to resolve the conflict.

5. They give you the silent treatment.

When they’re angry with you, they don’t shout at you or tell you what you’ve done wrong. That would mean putting too much effort into the relationship.

They’d rather just give you the silent treatment and let you suffer, wondering exactly what it is that’s upset them.

6. You have no idea what they want from you.

You’re not sure what they want out of the relationship or from you. You don’t know what they expect from you or why they’re with you.

You feel like you’re at sea without so much as a lighthouse to let you know where the rocks are.

7. Your self-esteem is at an all-time low.

You’re starting to feel down on yourself.

Your partner’s lack of interest in you is taking its toll, as you’re starting to feel like you’re unworthy of their love and attention. Or, for that matter, anyone else’s love or attention.

8. You’re suppressing your feelings.

The message you’re getting from your partner or spouse is that your feelings aren’t worth paying any attention to and are insignificant, so you’re starting to believe that.

You don’t even take them seriously yourself, pushing them down and passing them off as inconsequential or petty.

9. They don’t spend time with you.

They don’t prioritize spending time with you, and sometimes it feels like they actively avoid it.

They’re always busy with one thing or another, and quality time together is few and far between.

You never have long, lingering phone calls just passing the time of day. They keep conversations brief.

10.

You feel like you can’t be yourself with them.

You can’t relax and unwind around your partner, because you just don’t feel comfortable around them.

You know they don’t really love you for who you are, and you’ve learned that they don’t take your emotions seriously.

So, you now just hide them away and just tell them what they want to hear.

11. They don’t make an effort with your friends or family.

They don’t make the effort to connect with you on an emotional level, and they certainly aren’t going above and beyond to connect with the people who are most important to you.

They’ve made it clear that they’re not interested in spending time with your friends or family. And, when they are with them, they don’t engage them in conversation or try to get to know them better.

12. They forget important dates.

If they’re not emotionally involved in the relationship or marriage, they probably don’t place any emotional importance on the dates that most couples celebrate together, or at least acknowledge.

They might forget your birthday, your anniversary, or never remember the date that someone important to you passed away.

That can be very hurtful and mean you feel unimportant or like your joy or pain isn’t worth taking seriously.

13. They put off taking steps forward.

You want your relationship to move forward, making plans for the future, going on adventures together, or even having children.

But they find ways to procrastinate and put it off. They tell you it’s not the right time, but they don’t offer you any reasons why.

They can’t understand your need to talk about, make plans for, and build a shared future.

14. You always solve problems single-handedly.

You’ve learned that there’s no point turning to your partner or spouse for help or support when things get tough, so by now you just automatically sort it out on your own.

You know that you’re on your own when it comes to sorting out all your problems, big and small.

You’ve developed some solid coping mechanisms that don’t involve asking your partner for their opinion.

8 steps to deal with emotional neglect.

1. Reflect on the underlying causes.

So, you’ve realized that there’s emotional neglect in your relationship or marriage. But before you can take steps to deal with it you need to think about where it’s come from.

What’s the cause of this emotional neglect? Where did it spring from?

Is it something that’s characterized your relationship since day one, or were they once incredibly supportive, and this neglect has developed over time?

Did it develop spontaneously and slowly, or can you trace it back to a certain event?

Sometimes, emotional neglect is a result of a lack of love in a relationship.

As the initial rush of passionate romantic love starts to fade, rather than being replaced with a different kind of love, as it does in most relationships, sometimes it just turns into apathy.

And rather than accepting that a lack of love might spell the end of the relationship, both partners just settle for an unhealthy dynamic.

But this is not always the case. Emotional neglect in relationships can come about if one partner is going through a tough time and becomes so centered on their own troubles that they forget to take their partner into account.

They take their partner’s support for granted and are so focused on their own struggles that they stop reciprocating that support.

Going through a tough time yourself can mean you can’t be quite as supportive to your partner or spouse temporarily, and that’s okay. In long term relationships and marriages, both partners will have to support each other at different times.

The problem is when someone sees their own issues as a valid excuse for totally neglecting their partner’s emotions in the long term.

A relationship should be an equal partnership and you can’t expect someone to always be your rock if you never give anything back.

2. Consider therapy.

Emotional neglect in a relationship or marriage can be something that’s very difficult to fix without professional help.

Finding the right therapist could give you both the space to express your feelings, get some perspective, and find your way back to each other.

We highly recommend the online relationship counselling services provided by Relationship Hero. You can discuss the issue at hand with a professional via video chat from the comfort of your own home and get the support you both need to turn your relationship around and make it healthy once again.

Click here to chat to someone right now and/or to book an online appointment for a later date.

3. Take positive action.

If you want your relationship to thrive and last, you can’t just sit back and wait for your partner to change or realize the way they’ve been behaving.

You’re going to have to accept the situation and actively do something to make a difference to your relationship.

Rather than just complaining about their behavior, to other people or to them, you need to start reflecting on how the two of you can fix this.

Although they’re the one neglecting you emotionally, you can’t expect them to take all the responsibility for changing things.

4. Sit down for a talk.

Many people try to avoid sitting down for serious talks about their relationship or marriage, but this isn’t something that’s going to be fixed with a quick chat.

You need to pick a good moment for both of you, when there are no time constraints and you’re not overtired, hungry, or stressed. Bring up the problems in your relationship that are being caused by their emotional neglect.

Make sure you come at this conversation from a place of love and understanding, rather than being angry and accusatory from the beginning, as that won’t get you anywhere.

5. Don’t play the victim.

The fact that your partner or spouse has neglected your emotional needs may well have caused you lots of hurt, but if you want to make things better between you, that hurt shouldn’t be the focus of your conversation.

Concentrating on how they’ve hurt you will only make them get defensive.

If you want to make this work, then by all means vent about their behavior to a trusted friend, but not to your partner’s face.

Instead, let them know that you want to get to the bottom of this so that your relationship has a healthy future.

Talk about what you can both do to make a difference and create a healthier dynamic between you.

6. Spend quality time together.

Suggest to your partner or spouse that the two of you spend more quality time focusing on each other to try to get that spark back.

Book a holiday, go out to meet friends together, try something new, or go on romantic dates.

Think about what it was that first attracted you to each other and do what you can to rekindle that.

7. Be honest with yourself.

Unfortunately, emotional neglect in a relationship isn’t something that can always be fixed. It could be a symptom of cracks that run so deep they can’t be patched up.

If you can honestly say that you’ve done everything you can to save your relationship and it just hasn’t worked, then it might be time to consider whether the two of you would be better off apart.

There’s no point staying in a relationship that’s making you both unhappy, so be honest with yourself if the time has come to let it go.

8. Be patient.

Always remember that problems like these will never be solved overnight. It’s going to take a lot of hard work from both of you to get your relationship back on track.

But, if you’re patient and willing to put that work in, there’s every chance that you’ll get back to a place of mutual emotional support and happiness.

Still not sure what to do if you feel emotionally neglected by your partner or spouse? We’ve just mentioned therapy in point #6 above and we really would advise you to at least consider it, whether by yourself or as a couple. What have you got to lose? Why not chat online to a relationship expert from Relationship Hero who can help you figure things out. Simply click here to chat.

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How To Make Your Relationship Stronger: 13 No Bullsh*t Tips!
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Attention deficit disorder - health articles

11/10/2022

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (abbreviated as ADHD) is a certain disorder in the psycho-emotional development of a child. The first symptoms begin to bother from the age of three: the baby cannot sit still and tries in every possible way to attract attention to himself by deliberate disobedience.

Many parents do not consider it necessary to deal with hyperactivity in children, attributing bad behavior to a difficult age. However, in the future, the disease turns into serious problems for the student: inability to concentrate, poor progress, frequent criticism from teachers and friends, social isolation, and nervous breakdowns.

Hyperactivity is a dysfunction of the central nervous system. If left untreated in childhood, the disorder can greatly affect the quality of life of an adult. Therefore, it is worth seeking the advice of a specialist and conducting a comprehensive corrective therapy if you suspect a child has ADHD.

The development of ADHD is hidden in several reasons that have been established by scientists on the basis of facts. These reasons include: genetic predisposition; pathological influence.
Genetic predisposition is the first factor that does not exclude the development of malaise in the patient's relatives. Moreover, in this case, both distant heredity (i.e., the disease was diagnosed in ancestors) and near (parents, grandparents) play a huge role. The first signs of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in a child lead caring parents to a medical institution, where it turns out that the predisposition to the disease in a child is associated precisely with genes. After examining the parents, it often becomes clear where this syndrome came from in the child, since in 50% of cases this is exactly the case. Today it is known that scientists are working on isolating the genes that are responsible for this predisposition. Among these genes, an important role is given to DNA regions that control the regulation of dopamine levels. Dopamine is the main substance responsible for the correct functioning of the central nervous system. Dysregulation of dopamine due to genetic predisposition leads to the disease of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Pathological influence is of considerable importance in answering the question about the causes of the manifestation of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Pathological factors can serve as: the negative impact of narcotic substances; influence of tobacco and alcoholic products; premature or prolonged labor; interrupt threats. If a woman allowed herself to use illegal substances during pregnancy, then the possibility of having a child with hyperactivity or this syndrome is not excluded. There is a high probability of the presence of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in a child born at 7–8 months of pregnancy, i.e. premature.

Symptoms

Attention deficit disorder is expressed primarily in hyperactivity and inattention of the child. These are the main symptoms of the disorder.

Signs of hyperactivity:

A constant feeling of internal restlessness causes the child to fidget in the chair, jerk his legs, wave his arms or fiddle with something.
Feelings of anxiety increase when adults are forced to be quiet and calm. This causes a backlash: the children respond to the request not to make noise with stormy laughter, stomping or jumping up from their seats.
Hyperactivity is expressed in impulsive behavior. For example, a child shouts out an answer in class before the teacher has finished speaking the question. Or he may get into a fight because he is unable to wait his turn in the game competitions.
Inattentiveness inherent in the hyperactivity syndrome is expressed as follows:
Any task tires very quickly, just a couple of minutes after the start. It is almost impossible to focus on learning a new subject. Usually children are able to keep their attention on what they are really interested in. But in a child with ADHD, boredom and an absent-minded look appear in any activity, even in the one with which he “fired up” in the first minutes.
Problems with concentration develop distraction. Sitting down for homework in the language, the child opens a math notebook and does not notice that he is writing the text on a sheet in a cage. He forgets to write down information in a diary, he may forget his textbook and notebooks on his desk, or he may not hear a request addressed to him.
There is a very poor memory. Trying to learn something by heart, a child can repeat a phrase twenty times and not reproduce it after a minute. This happens due to constant distractibility: children mechanically pronounce the words they are learning, but mentally follow the crawling fly on the wall or listen to the sounds from the street.

Diagnosis

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is diagnosed using a questionnaire, behavioral observation of the child and MRI examination of the brain.

Asking questions to parents, the medical specialist builds a clinical picture, differentiating normal behavioral symptoms from actual abnormalities, in order to accurately determine whether it is ADHD or normal puberty.

Frontal brain scan serves both to investigate attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in children and to confirm the diagnosis.

Treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

The best treatment option for ADHD is complex - psychological correction in combination with medications.

A lot depends on the actions of mothers and fathers. Do not constantly scold the baby for wrong actions and inappropriate behavior. It is much more useful to offer your help in cleaning things or preparing for school, to praise for the diligence shown and overcoming difficulties. It is very important to emphasize every achievement, no matter how small, and give the child confidence in their own abilities.

Praise the child for any possible reason - he washed his cup after himself, put away his toys, wrote neatly in a notebook or helped his mother set the table. Do not skimp on words of support even in case of failure, because adults quite often make mistakes and minor misconduct.

Relaxing music, board games, and a warm bath can alleviate irritation or dissatisfaction.

A daily routine put together will help the child gain peace and confidence, it is important for him to understand his duties and their sequence. It is useful to teach the student to make a list of upcoming tasks, given their importance. In order not to postpone the started lesson, the unobtrusive help of parents will also be required.

Communication is an important component of normal family relations and the normalization of a child's behavior.

Raising a child with Attention Deficit Disorder is not easy, but do not forget that this diagnosis is not a death sentence. It's just a disease that can be treated.

Absent-mindedness - causes, diagnosis and treatment

General characteristics

The basis of absent-mindedness is a violation of the ability to concentrate on certain actions or objects. Normally, attention provides direction and concentration of mental activity. These properties are understood as a person's ability to delve into activity, to distract from extraneous signals. The opposite of the state of concentration is absent-mindedness - the inability to maintain concentration on the chosen object: on the topic of conversation, physical or mental work.

There are several types of distraction according to the mechanism of attention disorder. The true one can be felt as drowsiness or dullness, manifested by unclear and vague perception, a decrease in intellectual functions, aimless fixation of the gaze into the void. Imaginary absent-mindedness occurs with intense concentration on one object, the impossibility of distributing attention to others. For example, a scientist who is constantly thinking about a new theory looks absent-minded.

The student's form of absent-mindedness is due to excessive switchability and mobility of thought processes. Such a disorder is typical for children; it is not associated with a lack of concentration, but with the inability to maintain it for a long time. The causes of senile forgetfulness are poor switching, insufficient concentration. Therefore, in a conversation, older people sometimes “get stuck” on one topic: they do not develop it, they talk about insignificant details for a long time, they cannot quickly start a conversation about another.

Directed, selective and motivational inattention are considered as types of absent-mindedness. When a person deliberately ignores certain thoughts, memories, sensations, we are talking about directed inattention. For example, a woman who has recently gone through a divorce may seem distracted when discussing the reason for the separation. Habitual inattention - ignoring the daily repetitive signals: ticking clocks, barking dogs, snoring. The concept of motivationally conditioned inattention was introduced by Z. Freud. It implies forgetfulness when visiting certain places, meeting certain people by chance.

Causes of absent-mindedness

Subjectively, absent-mindedness is experienced as a state of vagueness and vagueness of consciousness, insufficient mobility of the thought process, inexplicable forgetfulness. The emotional-volitional component is represented by instability of interest, indifference, lack of effort, passivity. The causes of absent-mindedness are varied - a state of fatigue, monotony, physical malaise, some diseases.

Physiological distraction

Most people are not always absent-minded, but only at a certain time - after an illness, at the end of the working day, when experiencing adverse life events. Their forgetfulness, lack of concentration are due to physiological factors, which are based on the depletion of the body's resources, natural fluctuations in the hormonal background. Restoration of the former attentiveness and working capacity occurs immediately after the elimination of the cause. The physiological basis of absent-mindedness can be:

Lack of sleep. Sleep deprivation due to insomnia or external causes is the most common cause of inattention. Sleep deficiency negatively affects the brain, provokes a slowdown in all processes - attention, memory, thinking, emotional-volitional acts. A sleepy person is distracted, lethargic, performs his usual activities worse.
Fatigue. Activity, purposefulness of intellectual activity naturally decreases after a period of stress. Fatigue is essentially exhaustion. Absent-mindedness, forgetfulness appear as a result of long work without breaks for rest.
Monotonous work. Monotony is a negative mental state caused by monotonous activity and lack of breaks for rest. It is characterized by a decrease in the speed of mental processes, a deterioration in the ability to switch attention. Develops long before true fatigue.
Pregnancy, menopause. Periods of childbearing and menopause are accompanied by hormonal imbalance. Excess or lack of hormones leads to changes in the functioning of the brain. This is reflected in the emotional sphere, performance: women become impressionable, irritable, forgetful.
Period after illness. Severe diseases deplete the body, take a person out of the usual social environment. Therefore, after an acute period, it takes some time to recuperate, adapt to the normal daily routine and stress. Distractedness and forgetfulness usually resolve within 1-2 weeks, a return to the previous level of activity indicates a complete recovery.
Intoxication. The state of intoxication (intoxication) develops as a result of taking alcohol, drugs. The psychoactive effect of substances is manifested by absent-mindedness, slow reaction, impaired coordination of movements. A slight decrease in concentration, combined with an elevated mood, is observed at the initial stage of intoxication. As intoxication increases, speech disorders are formed, orientation in space is lost.

Psychological factors of absent-mindedness

Sometimes absent-mindedness is the result of a person's attitude to the activity performed, surrounding objects. In interesting, personally important situations, people become collected, in insignificant, unpleasant - on the contrary. The inability to concentrate and hold attention is associated with emotional and volitional qualities, personal hobbies and preferences, and general rules for the functioning of the psyche. Common psychological causes of absent-mindedness:

Passion for one object. The condition is typical for people who are very passionate about some object - another person, scientific developments, an interesting hobby. Their attention is narrowed, not distributed to other situations and people, so when they try to distract, confusion arises. Examples of such people are scientists engaged in new research, artists in periods of creative upsurge.
Intense distractions. Concentration and stability - functions of voluntary attention. When there are many extraneous intense stimuli in a situation - noise, bright lights, voices - an involuntary switch occurs. Attention becomes scattered between many objects. Therefore, for example, it is difficult for many to read a book while traveling by public transport.
Limited RAM. According to experimental psychological studies, people are able to simultaneously hold in their minds from 5 to 9 objects (the exact number is individual). When there is more information, forgetfulness sets in, because the least significant stimuli cease to attract attention.
Reluctance to perform activities. The condition is noted when performing tasks that are perceived as uninteresting, seem meaningless, or cause personal dislike. In such cases, a person has to make great volitional efforts to organize his own purposeful activity.
Features of character. Sometimes there is no particular reason for forgetfulness and lack of concentration, these qualities are part of the character. People are described as dreamy, idiosyncratic, creative, sometimes infantile. Often this is based on a lack of need or experience of purposeful organized activity.

Distraction as a symptom of disease

Distraction is not a specific manifestation of any one disease. With disorders of the neurotic type, it is largely due to a change in the emotional-volitional and motivational component: it is difficult for patients to concentrate due to depression, lack of interest in what is happening or focus on a personal problem. In patients with neurological pathologies, there is a decrease in all cognitive functions: memory, intelligence, thinking, attention. The most common reasons for absent-mindedness:

Neurotic disorders. All cognitive processes are inhibited in people with depression, there is no involvement in surrounding events, motivation for activity is reduced, so they look forgetful, uncollected. In anxiety disorders, patients are overly concentrated on the thoughts that disturb them, unable to focus on something else. In everyday affairs they show confusion, often make mistakes, slowly get involved in new activities.
Schizophrenia. With this disease, biochemical changes occur in the brain, which are manifested by a change in emotions, personal qualities, and intellectual processes. The reasons for the absent-mindedness of patients in the initial stages of the disease are a decrease in the need for communication, a craving for loneliness. Patients stay in their fantasies and thoughts for a long time, and when communicating with others, they become confused. With a long course of the schizophrenic process, a neurocognitive deficit occurs, absent-mindedness increases against the background of a general decrease in intellectual abilities.
Organic brain lesions. This group includes a large number of pathologies that occur with degenerative changes in the nervous tissue, disruption of neurons, and death of nerve cells. Examples: traumatic brain injury, Alzheimer's disease, vascular pathology, brain tumors. Patients are characterized by difficulties in switching from object to object, decreased performance, increased distractibility to secondary insignificant stimuli, and forgetfulness. For this reason, people of the elderly and senile age are often absent-minded.
Endocrine diseases. Emotional state changes in violation of the functions of the hypothalamic-pituitary system, ovaries, adrenal glands, thyroid gland. Characterized by increased irritability and tearfulness, the appearance of depression, fatigue. The causes of absent-mindedness are an excess or lack of hormones that affect the areas of the brain that are responsible for emotions, self-control, and cognitive processes.
Drug withdrawal syndrome. Abrupt discontinuation of certain drugs is accompanied by the development of a withdrawal syndrome - the body's response to a lack of previously received compounds with the resumption of symptoms of the disease. Distractedness becomes stronger after a sharp cessation of therapy with nootropics, sedatives. Other manifestations are headache, dizziness, lethargy, insomnia. To prevent this condition, drugs should be discontinued gradually.
Nicotine withdrawal syndrome. After quitting smoking, during the first 2-5 days, there is a sharp drop in blood sugar levels. This process is accompanied by various ailments, the most common of which are distraction, forgetfulness, and dizziness. Poor health is often the reason for a return to smoking.

Examination

Identification of attention disorders is performed during the diagnosis of mental pathologies and neurological diseases, as well as within the framework of medical and psychological examination when applying for certain types of work. The examination is carried out by psychiatrists, clinical psychologists, psychotherapists. The results allow you to diagnose absent-mindedness, to determine what caused forgetfulness. The main research methods are:

Conversation. Signs of absent-mindedness are found during the initial questioning of the patient: he hardly keeps the topic of conversation, asks again, often distracted by a problem that worries him (physical pain, traumatic event, neurotic experiences). In severe cases, obtaining the necessary clinical information during the interview is possible only with the organizing assistance of a doctor, that is, with a special holding of the patient's attention in a loud voice, strict intonation, and frequent address by name.
Surveillance. The behavior of patients is characterized by reduced purposefulness. They are often distracted for no reason by external secondary signals - steps outside the door, noise outside the window, other people's conversations. They can look for glasses in a bag for a long time, they forget to take the medical documents necessary for the doctor. If they come to an appointment unaccompanied by a relative, they wander in search of the right office.
Tests for attention. Quantitative assessment of attention activity is performed using special pathopsychological tests. Common methods: finding numbers using Schulte tables, proofreading, forward / backward counting. Based on the results, the rate of sensorimotor reactions, the switchability of mental processes, fluctuations in working capacity, and fatigue are determined. Absent-mindedness is evidenced by a decrease in the concentration and persistence of attention functions.

To determine the cause of the state of distraction in patients with symptoms of neurotic or other mental disorders, a comprehensive study of the cognitive sphere, emotional and personal characteristics is carried out. If the patient's complaints indicate the presence of an endocrine or neurological disease, he is referred for a consultation with the appropriate specialists.

Treatment

In case of physiological absent-mindedness, medical intervention is not required, measures are needed that can restore working capacity - good sleep, alternating work with rest, reducing stress during pregnancy and rehabilitation after a serious illness. If distractibility and forgetfulness are associated with psychological causes, mental or somatic diseases, along with the main treatment, special therapy is necessary. Psycho-corrective methods, biofeedback training, drug therapy are used.

Psycho-correction is aimed at increasing the concentration of attention

Psycho-corrective classes

Lessons with a psychologist are aimed at developing the arbitrariness of the mental sphere. Exercises are used that require concentration, the ability to switch from one object to another, to keep several conditions or tasks at once. With pronounced absent-mindedness, a consistent retelling of the events of the past day is practiced, the search for surrounding objects with a common feature (for example, color). For moderate and mild violations, training takes place using Schulte tables, black and red numerical tables, and a correction test.

Biofeedback training

Hardware biofeedback autotraining is a method of teaching self-regulation of mental and physiological functions, during which a special computer program is used. To improve the functions of attention, EEG-BFB is effective, which fixes the bioelectrical activity of the brain. The patient is able to control the quality of the picture on the monitor, the soundtrack, the activity of the characters in the game, making an effort of will to maintain active attention. As distraction increases, the quality of the feedback decreases.

Drug therapy

Patients with absent-mindedness based on emotional disturbance may be given medication (antidepressants, anti-anxiety drugs). The elimination of symptoms of depression, anxiety, fear is often accompanied by the restoration of working capacity and the skill of concentration, the disappearance of forgetfulness. The use of nootropics may be effective in organic brain lesions. Medicines of this group improve the nutrition of nerve tissues, increase the flow of oxygen to the brain, due to which the simulation of mental activity occurs, concentration and memory improve.

Organization of time, space

Combating absent-mindedness helps to plan the day or any activity. It is worth considering the main tasks, how to accomplish them, the amount of time for work and rest. It is important that intellectual loads alternate with physical ones. Performing the task, you need to make an effort and concentrate on the main activity. To do this, it is recommended to properly prepare the workplace - remove all unnecessary items, such as telephones, magazines, decorative elements of the interior, that is, eliminate all potential causes of distraction in advance.

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