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How to Deal with Energy Vampires

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HOW TO DEAL WITH

ENERGY VAMPIRES

Over the years I've heard many stories from people who read The Energy Bus about how they dealt with Energy Vampires. Some successfully transformed them. Others let them go so they could no longer sabotage the team. And some unfortunately abused their power by labeling anyone who disagreed with them an Energy Vampire. I've learned a lot from these people and have garnered lessons from their successes and mistakes. In this spirit I wanted to share some thoughts about how to deal with an Energy Vampire (EV):

First and foremost, love them. No one really wants to be an Energy Vampire. He/she is likely negative for a reason. The first step should always be to love, understand and transform. For example, Martin, from the company Seventh Generation, told me that he put a sign on his door that said "Energy Vampires Welcome. Expect to be filled up with positive energy."

While I love Martin's approach, I also know from personal experience and the work I do with teams and organizations that not every EV is willing to change. If your efforts to transform an EV are not successful and they are sabotaging the team and organization then they should be let off the bus.

If you don't like the thought of letting people off the bus you are not alone. That's why I always tell leaders and managers that you won't have to let EV's off the bus if you create a positive culture where EV's are uncomfortable being negative. If you create a strong, positive culture that attracts positive people, fosters positive communication and generates positive energy, the EV's who are unwilling to change will walk off the bus themselves because they don't fit in. Energy Vampires don't like the light.

The best way to deal with Energy Vampires in your organization is at the culture level where you set the expectation that people who drain the energy of others will not be tolerated. One college football coach did this with his football team a few years ago. He had all his players read The Energy Bus and had an artist draw a huge picture of an Energy Vampire on the wall of their team meeting room. Any time a player was being an EV they put the player's picture on the wall. No one wanted to be on the wall. In essence, the coach was telling his team that we will not allow negativity to sabotage our team and goals. While I don't recommend business leaders and school principals utilize the Energy Vampire on the wall strategy, I do believe they must make it clear that negativity that drains others and sabotages team performance is not acceptable. Leaders/managers/coaches/principals must create a positive work environment where their people can do their best work without being affected by an EV.

If you are not a leader or manager and you're not in a position to define the culture or hire and fire people you are likely wondering what you should do if you have an EV on your team or in your office. In this case you can influence your team and office culture by sharing The Energy Bus with your manager/leader and encouraging them to utilize it to create a positive culture. I've witnessed many organizational transformations simply because an employee shared The Energy Bus with a leader and the leader invited everyone on the bus. Please know I'm not trying to be promotional here. People tell me all the time that The Energy Bus is an effective tool that creates a common language for organizations to talk about and address negativity. Since it's a tool that works I believe in helping others use it. You can read some quotes about it here.

If you are not a manager or leader and you have EV's on your team or in your office it's also important that you decide to be more positive than the negativity your face. A simple rule is: Your positive energy must be greater than all the negativity.

If you encounter Energy Vampires in your daily life remember Gandhi's words: "I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet." (Neither should you)

If you have a personal friend or a friend at work who is an EV you may decide to talk to them about their negativity. If you have a strong relationship with them and they know you care about them, they may be open to your advice. But remember Energy Vampires can't see their own reflection. They may not realize they are an Energy Vampire. Proceed with caution if you decide to go this route. And if you do, do it with love.

If you have a neighbor that is an EV and it's one of those days where you just don't want their negativity to impact you, run away as fast as you can when you see them. Just say you have something in the oven. : )

Finally, if you have Energy Vampires lurking in your family I recommend you become a positive force of positive energy that demonstrates to others what real positivity, in the form of love, patience, kindness, and care, looks like. Honestly it’s something I'm still working on myself. It's not easy but it's worth the effort.

How do you deal with an Energy Vampire?

Share your thoughts with me on Facebook , Twitter , or LinkedIn .

- Jon

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How to deal with an "energy vampire"

https://ria. ru/20200930/vampir-1577975594.html

How to deal with an "energy vampire"

How to deal with an "energy vampire" - RIA Novosti, 09/30/2020

How to deal with an "energy vampire"

Many people around have people who, after communicating with them, feel a breakdown. How to avoid such a state, the psychologist said in an interview with Sputnik radio ... RIA Novosti, 09/30/2020

2020-09-30T04:25

2020-09-30T07:04

society

psychologists

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MOSCOW, September 30 - RIA Novosti. Many in the environment have people, after communication with which there is a breakdown. How to avoid such a state, psychologist Natalia El told Sputnik radio in an interview. An "energy vampire" is a person who sucks energy from others. He can do this even unconsciously, even at the expense of the closest people: children or parents. Psychologist Natalia El considers children's whims as a case of such "vampirism" and this explains that after communicating with children, parents can feel tired. Strangers can also recharge your energy. Where do energy vampires come from? Everything is from childhood, the psychologist believes. - said Natalia El. Adult "energy vampires" are, as a rule, very receptive and emotional people who are constantly looking for someone to throw their negative emotions onto. Avoiding contact with such people is almost impossible. But it is necessary to limit contacts as much as possible, Natalia El believes. And if you still have to communicate, you need to use special psychological techniques. "Do not look into the eyes. He says something, and you try to think about the good. You can build psychological protection, imagine yourself in a mirror cocoon, behind a brick wall. No more no methods. Nature, walks in the park, herbal tea help to recover from such contact," Natalia El added in an interview with Sputnik radio.

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society, psychologists

Society, psychologists

MOSCOW, September 30 - RIA Novosti. Many people around have people, after communication with which there is a breakdown. How to avoid such a state, psychologist Natalia El told Sputnik radio in an interview.

An "energy vampire" is a person who drains energy from others. He can do this even unconsciously, even at the expense of the closest people: children or parents. Psychologist Natalia El considers children's whims as a case of such "vampirism" and this explains that after communicating with children, parents can feel tired. Strangers can also recharge your energy.

"Older people often like to make scandals in queues, in transport - they try to involve others in the conflict. Thanks to the response, they replenish their energy background. If we fall for these provocations, the "vampire" gets what we want," she noted Natalia El in an interview with Sputnik radio.

Where do energy vampires come from? All from childhood, says the psychologist.

"Children who feel detached, cold, indifferent, subconsciously begin to take revenge. They persistently demand attention to themselves, deliberately committing bad deeds. They know that they will be punished, but still act in their own way," said Natalia El.

Adult "energy vampires" are, as a rule, very receptive and emotional people who are constantly looking for someone to project their negative emotions onto. Avoiding contact with such people is almost impossible. But it is necessary to limit contacts as much as possible, Natalia El believes. And if you still have to communicate, you need to use special psychological techniques.

"Don't make eye contact. He says something, and you try to think positive. You can build a psychological defense, imagine yourself in a mirrored cocoon, behind a brick wall. There are no other methods. Nature helps to recover from such contact, walking in park, herbal tea," Natalia El added in an interview with Sputnik radio.

The psychologist explained how to overcome the "imposter" in yourself0001

And even though we have long grown out of fairy tales and horror stories, the reality is that monsters and evil spirits live next to us. And we're not talking about some fantasy representation of them, no. These are the most ordinary outwardly people, they only replenish energy in very strange ways. If most people just need to lie on the couch for a day in order to recover and gain strength, energy vampires act differently. They "feed" on negative emotions, deliberately leading us to a quarrel or conflict. But is it possible to recognize an energy vampire and protect yourself from him? Yes, and we'll show you how.

What are energy vampires?

Have you ever felt empty after talking to someone? As if he sucked all the strength and positive emotions, loading them with problems? After a conversation with such an interlocutor, a feeling of weakness, doom, or even a headache may appear. If so, no congratulations - you've been talking to an energy vampire. Each person has an internal energy resource that is developed through communication, actions and emotions. It is the latter that vampire people love so much. No, they won’t bite you and drink blood like in horror stories, but it’s easy to bring you into conflict, arouse a feeling of compassion and self-pity. Energy vampires feed on negativity, thus depriving you of strength.

Specialists and esotericists distinguish three types of people somehow connected with energy thieves: vampires themselves , donors and neutrals . Let's talk a little more about each. Neutrals are a certain group of people born with strong protection. They cannot become victims and "feed" a vampire, even if he is nearby, but they will not become a monster themselves. These are emotionally strong people with confident outlooks on life. Donors are a more common unit, they serve as "food" for the vampire. Such people give away emotions, but cannot replenish energy at the expense of others. Because of this, donors need to monitor their social circle very carefully to prevent a monster from appearing in it. And, in fact, themselves vampires - people who can lead others to negative emotions and feed on them. Often, after quarrels, their mood rises, they feel a surge of strength.

There are two types of energy vampires: solar and lunar . The former behave as aggressively as possible: they lead to direct conflict, provoke scandals and frequent showdowns, and become tyrants in the family. On the street or in public places, such vampires are the instigators of showdowns, they can push into the subway and not give up their place on the road. In general, they will do everything to make you angry and somehow respond negatively. Lunar vampires act differently - they put pressure on pity and guilt. They constantly complain and say how bad they feel, wanting to hear words of support and compassion. But they won’t stop there and will constantly sit on your neck later, hoping for more consolation in their direction. That's how they eat.

Signs of an energy vampire

Modern vampires are reflected in mirrors and wear more than just black clothes. Very often you do not even suspect that there is a monster next to you. Why do people even become vampires? Esotericists believe that everything is due to a lack of innate internal energy and an unwillingness to correct it on their own. It is easier for them to "suck" to another person and replenish supplies, without particularly bothering. So how do you recognize an energy vampire so you don't "feed" it with energy next time? Very simple - you should pay attention to the following signs.

1. Energy vampire seeks pity

A dangerous trap that both solar and lunar vampires like to set. These people always have a couple of terrible stories, because of which you want to feel sorry for such a person, to help him. Having fulfilled your seemingly sincere desires, you will feel like a hero: you helped and supported a person in a difficult situation, perhaps not only with words. But they didn’t notice at all how the trick worked and you spent too much time and attention on the interlocutor, who from time to time comes to you with new problems.

2. A person loves gossip and intrigue

A day is spent in vain if one fails to get new gossip or start an intrigue. Energy vampires do not like when everything around is calm and peaceful, so they often become a source of gossip in the team. They subtly feel the weak points of people and know where to hit. In addition, they feed on negativity, so everything is logical.

3. There is always some drama going on in the life of energy vampires

Black PR is also PR, which means attention to yourself. Vampires often play the victim, telling colleagues and friends about how hard life is for them. Everything in the life of such people is not thank God, and almost every day something terrible happens. And this is done for only one purpose - to replenish your energy with your compassion and partially solve problems at your expense. Did you listen? Now help with difficulties.

4. Man is an obvious provocateur

As we have already said, vampires need to feed on the negative emotions of those around them. And the fastest way to get them is to provoke a person into a conflict. An energy vampire can either independently participate in quarrels and fights, or play people against each other and enjoy the spectacle from the outside.

5. Vampires don't take responsibility

Like most "parasites", energy vampires have learned how to deftly manipulate others and shift responsibility onto donors. After all, it often happens that these monsters are charismatic people who know how to build innocents out of themselves and convince them that they are right.

6. Energy vampire constantly competes

Such people often occupy leadership positions not only because of easy access to "food" (after all, you can always yell at an objectionable subordinate), but also because they hate to feel worse or lower than others. An energy vampire will never give you normal praise. But if you hear words of approval from his side, get ready to find out next that the vampire, in fact, has been able and knows all this for a long time. And you're done, now a little closer to his level.

7. An energy vampire often goes to extremes

Another indirect sign that a person you know is an energy vampire is his risky behavior and going from one extreme to another. Often such people are engaged in extreme sports, lead a risky lifestyle and are capable of completely unpredictable behavior. Esotericists attribute this to the vampire's lack of the amount of emotions he needs, which the monster compensates for in such ways.

How to protect yourself from an energy vampire

Let's say you managed to recognize an energy vampire, what should you do now? How to protect yourself from it and is it possible at all? Certainly. But it all depends on the specific case. If an acquaintance or colleague turned out to be an energy vampire in your environment, learn to better defend personal boundaries and say "no" . You can even avoid spending too much time with your vampire by not having lunch together at work and seeing your vampire friend no more than once a week.

If the energy vampire is one of the relatives or a husband/wife, it will not be possible to isolate oneself completely from him. In this case, it costs to find a new area of life to which the vampire will not have access . This way you can move away for a while and replenish energy in the safety of . And, again, feel free to assert personal boundaries, refuse uncomfortable requests, and disbelieve gossip and rumors that a vampire may be telling you.

Have you met an energy vampire before?

Yes, I work with such a.

Learn more

No energy vampires allowed

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How to Deal with Energy Vampires

How to deal with an "energy vampire"

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