Narcissist physical violence

Five Types of Physical Abuse Narcissists Use on Spouses

Medically reviewed by Scientific Advisory Board — By Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC on April 22, 2015

Have your clients experienced a time when their narcissistic spouse lost control and became scary angry? Did they cause physical pain? Do your clients feel that somehow they provoked it?

Narcissistic spouses will blame others for their abusive behavior. You made me upset, If you wont say this (or act that way), then I wont have to get so forceful, or It is because of you that Im like this are all typical remarks. Usually, these statements are sandwiched between half-hearted apologies (if lucky enough to get one). The bottom line is by the end of the rant their violent response was because of others, not them.

There are many forms of physical abuse. Just because a mark was not left on a body, does not mean that there wasnt cruelty, violence, neglect or exploitation. Here is the progression of physical abuse:

  1. Intimidation The narcissistic spouse becomes a bully by standing over their prey, looking down or getting in your face and then refusing to back off. They may even throw things, break things, or punch walls and doors dangerously close by. This is a scare tactic designed to frighten into submission by letting their spouse know that they are capable of physical harm. While there is no actual physical contact, the threat of bodily harm is every bit as real as if it had already occurred.
  2. Isolation The narcissist substantially limits their spouses ability to escape especially in dangerous situations. For instance, they might drive recklessly with no escape out of the car. They might expose others to severe weather or environmental conditions. They might take their spouse to stranded locations. When others are injured, they might prevent the seeking of medical care by minimizing and name calling. They might destroy important personal items calling them insignificant. All of this is done to force the spouse to rely solely on them and trust only their judgment.
  3. Restraint Physical contact begins in the form of holding a person back. The narcissist will confine their spouse by blocking a doorway, grabbing when trying to leave, locking doors with no key, or tying the person up. This causes a feeling of entrapment or imprisonment without any way to escape. Because they have already demonstrated through isolation their ability to cut a person off, physical restraint becomes a promise of additional aggression. When this begins to happen, it is a warning sign to get out immediately. The next two steps are not that far behind.
  4. Aggression It is important to remember that any physical force which results in pain, discomfort or injury is completely unacceptable in a marriage relationship. There are many types of aggression such as: hitting, kicking, punching, arm twisting, pushing, beating, shoving, biting, slapping, striking with an object, shaking, pinching, choking, hair pulling, dragging, burning, cutting, stabbing, strangling, and force-feeding (including overdose or misuse of drugs). Because the narcissist will blame their spouse for their violent behavior, they will not stop using force once it is started. They will instead find more reasons to justify their brutality.
  5. Endangerment This is the most dangerous stage because life is in jeopardy. The intimidation and isolation become so ordinary that the spouse is numb to the effects. Restraint becomes a waiting game that the spouse has mastered. Aggression is expected and no longer shocks them. The narcissist then realizes they are no longer commanding the same level of fear, so they escalate the attacks. Verbal threats of killing their spouse, family members or themselves are mixed with physical violence and use of weapons. Do not stay. Get out immediately.

Not all narcissists resort to physical abuse, some never escalate beyond intimidation. Not all physical abusers are narcissists, some have other mental illnesses. But a narcissistic physical abuser is not someone to take lightly. No matter what they say, you cannot make them better. This is a decision they need to make for themselves and is best done away from anyone they have harmed in the past.

Narcissistic Abuse: 15 Signs & Warnings To Look Out For

At its core, narcissism is selfishness and entitlement taken too far. Narcissists stretch the boundaries of self-confidence to embody a superiority complex and exhibit a lack of empathy toward others. Living with or loving a person who has narcissistic traits is no easy feat. In fact, due to narcissists' manipulative behaviors, it may be months or even years before a partner realizes that something is truly wrong. By then, they may have normalized narcissistic abuse and have no clue how to recover.

Here, licensed psychotherapists Carrie Mead, LCPC, and Kimberly Perlin, LCSW-C, explain the telltale signs of narcissistic abuse, how narcissistic abuse syndrome is diagnosed, and offer tips to heal from a toxic relationship with a narcissist.

What is narcissistic abuse?

Narcissistic abuse is a specific form of abuse perpetrated by narcissists. According to Mead, it typically looks like one partner manipulating the other for personal gain.

"It is a form of relating with another where one demeans and controls the other," Perlin explains. She says whether the control is explicit, (e.g., I don't want you going over to your mother's house) or more subtle (e.g., I wish you wouldn't go out because I really need you tonight), the narcissist's goal is to keep their partner dependent on praise and preoccupied with the narcissist's needs.

Narcissistic abuse also tends to involve copious amounts of gaslighting, Mead adds. "This means they deny any wrongdoing when confronted by their partner, and they flip the situation in such a way that the victim is now to blame for whatever felt abusive."

When this happens repeatedly, the victim begins to question their own self-worth, intuition, and reality. In Mead's experience, abusers also alienate victims from friends and family so the victim feels isolated, alone, and afraid.

"There can be physical abuse, controlling one's money, free time, friendships, and opinions.  The non-abusive partner is often called names, their motives are questioned, and they are told how to feel," Perlin adds. The abusive partner may justify these actions by claiming to be well intentioned. 


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Where narcissism comes from.

While narcissists display various patterns, the psychology behind narcissism shows that this kind of self-aggrandizement typically comes from a deep-seated sense of shame. Perhaps a person has developed a maladapted way of covering up a personality or physical flaw, or they are hoping to distance themselves from some element of their past that makes them feel small or powerless.

Perlin says that narcissism often stems from childhood experiences. "A parent may have either trained you to care for their needs or neglected you by catering to all whims, thus setting up the expectation that others would as well," she offers. Another explanation is that people who were abused and demeaned as children may have normalized such behaviors and carried them into adult relationships. 

Some say that narcissism can be easiest to identify in people with the power and money to self-isolate, meaning that they can control their environment enough to minimize contact with people who give them negative or critical feedback. Yet, an extreme need to be the center of attention or disregard others' feelings can also take the form of feigning victimhood or unhealthy codependency. 

The fact is that narcissism is hard to diagnose. There are no medical tests that identify it, so psychologists consider an amalgam of signs and symptoms that alone might be perfectly healthy traits. Therapists use a chart of the most common behaviors associated with narcissistic personality disorder to see if a person is displaying an abnormal sense of grandiosity, perfectionism, or self-loathing associated with the condition.

Narcissistic abuse syndrome.

"Narcissistic abuse syndrome occurs when one is abused and demeaned so much by another that they believe they deserve the abuse," says Perlin. "They can no longer distinguish their thoughts from the abuser's. At times they cannot recognize when their abuser is lying to them, even when they have evidence of the lie. Victims learn to auto-agree with the abuser without questioning or considering their own thoughts."

Mead says that after being in a relationship with a narcissist, it is common to feel mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained. Some people suffer physical symptoms of prolonged stress, like difficulty sleeping, digestive problems, and anxiety-induced attacks or triggered reactions.

"Recovering from toxic or narcissistic relationships takes time," she says. "You feel fragile, unsure of yourself, and unable to trust. These are all signs that you are in recovery from an abusive relationship." With time and help from a professional psychotherapist, you can heal.

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Warning signs to look out for.

Below are some specific tactics narcissists might use to control their victim. The order and magnitude of these behaviors can vary based on how far the abuser is willing to go to get what they want. Unlike sociopaths, who seem to enjoy witnessing others in pain, narcissists just enjoy getting what they want. They don't necessarily revel in the situations they produce and may not even notice that they are hurtful. When their immediate goal has been met, abusive behaviors may recede—only to return when there is something new at stake.

Keep an eye out for these early warning signs:


Controlling behavior 

People who exhibit the traits of narcissistic personality disorder are prone to display controlling behaviors. At first, it may seem like they just want to control their partner's time and attention, but they will increasingly demand more. They may insist that their likes are adhered to, and they may even try to get their significant other to exclusively take part in activities that are pleasing to or benefit the narcissist. While some controlling behaviors are subtle, all are persistent. Expect that a narcissistic person will lie, cheat, or withhold information to get their way repeatedly. For narcissists, control is equivalent to power.


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Narcissistic abusers are self-aggrandizing and self-centered. They manipulate others into giving them an excessive amount of attention by displaying a variety of antics that range from entertaining to violent. Sometimes, displays of violence make others awe-struck. Other times, they intimidate. Either way, narcissists want to be held up on a pedestal, and they don't care who they have to step on to get there. They are also known to have unpredictable mood swings that ensure that their victim is hyper-attuned to the narcissist's feelings and expends a great deal of energy trying to anticipate their whims and wants.



Psychologists say that gaslighting is manipulation meant to disorient. This technique is employed to make another person question their reality. A person may feign to have forgotten an incident or deny knowing about a situation to which they were integral, or they'll cast doubts on others' perceptions and memories. The entire point of this technique is to remain in a powerful position in relation to others.

Narcissists will try to make other people feel like their own judgment or memory is unreliable, which helps the narcissist's narrative of the truth prevail. Once in control of the narrative, they believe they can control outcomes to their own benefit.


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Social isolation 

Narcissistic abusers may try to isolate their partner, often as a precursor to harsher forms of abuse. By removing a person's support system, including relatives, friends, and social networks, the narcissist makes themselves the primary source of affection, validation, and support. Also, keeping a person away from the gaze of loved ones who know them best can buy an abuser time to secure control.

The narcissist will try to keep their victim from spending time with loved ones and friends, particularly ones who ask questions about how much the victim has changed since being with the narcissistic partner or those who display disapproval toward this partner. The narcissist may also try to break bonds of trust by lying or speaking poorly of their partner's loved ones, or they may create confrontation or emergencies to ensure that the partner is too distracted to make or keep plans with others.

Victims report feeling disoriented about social norms after having been disconnected for so long. After becoming accustomed to controlling behaviors, a victim may not know how to behave "appropriately" around others. This might look like being standoffish in social settings or avoiding those who the narcissist may deem threatening. A lack of grounding relationships outside of the abuser results in the victim's social isolation.


Creating mistrust for those outside the relationship

Mistrust of others is a natural progression from social isolation. Narcissists often lie or manipulate fragile situations to ensure that they are their victim's most trusted source of information. Therefore, victims often rely upon their abusers to confirm the "truth" or to verify when conditions are "safe." Narcissists may actively sow seeds of distrust in the victim's mind around previously trusted loved ones, as well as authority figures or professional experts whose advice contradicts the thoughts or ideas of the narcissist.


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Digital invasions of privacy

While sometimes isolation is imposed physically, such as by moving away from a person's home city or state, many victims also report technological restrictions, like GPS trackers, social media blocking, or stealing passcodes. These invasions of digital privacy can be just as intrusive and damaging as physical isolation. Abusers may go so far as to create a fake profile to interact with their victim online to test their victim's loyalty. They may even threaten to share intimate images or secrets on social media networks. Invasions of digital privacy are among the many controlling behaviors meant to ensure the victim's full dependence and compliance.


Verbal abuse 

Narcissists use put-downs and insults to ensure that their victims never trust their own judgment. Verbal abuse is used to belittle or degrade the other person, though it can often be subtle. Hurtful comments about a person's decisions or physical appearance may be said in jest or posed as positive encouragement (see negging).

In its most egregious form, verbal snipes become emotional abuse. Name-calling, blaming, and judging can give way to threats, yelling, and the silent treatment. And while verbal abuse may not involve physically touching a person, these interactions can still be violent. Narcissists' superiority complex also helps them justify bullying and harassment.


Threats of physical violence

While narcissistic abuse tends to focus on emotional manipulation, these abusers may still break things, hurt others (or threaten to do so), or inflict self-harm to punish or instill fear in a partner. Remember, narcissists want attention. When manipulation is no longer working, they may grow more aggressive and coercive. Their delusions of grandeur commingle with arrogance, and their inability to self-regulate can lead to violent outbursts, threats, and scary episodes.



Hoovering is a form of emotional blackmail that's common among narcissistic abusers. This technique is coined after the vacuum company because it sucks a person back into another cycle of abuse. When an abuser feels that they are starting to lose control, they may go through a cycle of trying to make things better. This could look like finally validating the victim's feelings or easing prior restrictions on social behaviors and interactions. But this refractory period tends to be rather brief. As soon as the abuser regains the victim's trust, they recommence the cycle of social isolation and control.


Disregarding boundaries

Victims of narcissistic abuse report the inability to make independent choices or decisions, particularly anything that involves physical separation. Codependency and physical togetherness are part and parcel of the abovementioned control techniques. Narcissists thrive on tipping the scales in their favor, so they may overstep normal boundaries to ensure that they are always one step ahead. Victims report that abusers read their journals, diaries, or private emails. Other basic boundaries like being able to use the restroom alone or making decisions about one's own body (i.e., diet, exercise, clothing, etc.) are commonly violated. 


Instilling fear of negative reactions

Narcissistic abusers enjoy when others display fear and anxiety that could be used to get what they want. Victims may be visibly afraid of the abuser but also psychologically anxious about how to predict or improve the abuser's reactions. This can look like indecision on the part of the abused, who may be paralyzed by fear of making the wrong move or anxious about overstepping boundaries set by the narcissist. Or it could turn the victim into their partner's gofer, who always tries to meet the abuser's needs before an outburst begins. Abuse may be most visible when the victim does menial and degrading tasks either to minimize their partner's negative reactions or to try to avoid them altogether.


Strategic people-pleasing

Researchers say that some narcissism comes from guilt or shame from childhood experiences. Even in adulthood, those nuggets of self-doubt might be buried but not forgotten. Thus, to get that validation, many adult abusers people-please or strategically over-accommodate people they think will help them get ahead. Abusers may volunteer for activities or situations simply to impress others, even when these situations are difficult or counterproductive.



Narcissists have a way of making their victims feel like they're walking on eggshells. Victims of narcissistic abuse may find themselves suffering from hypervigilance or racing thoughts. In an attempt to satisfy or appease the abusive partner, they may constantly run scenarios through their head to imagine how their partner will react. Implicitly, narcissists have ingrained a code of conduct. Therefore, censorship becomes the norm.

Partners of narcissists may say things, like "I don't want to say the wrong thing. You should really ask him/her what is best. I'm afraid I'll say or do something that s/he won't like. It is best that I stay out of this." All of these statements show a power dynamic tipped toward the side of the abuser. 


Excuses for bad behavior

Narcissists don't take criticism lightly, and they often train their victims to do their blocking. This means a victim may try to intervene before criticism gets to the narcissist. They may improve a situation quietly and let the abuser take credit. Or they will make excuses to soften the blow.

A person who has been subject to abuse for a prolonged period may make comments like, "Don't say that about them. You don't know them like I do. They're dealing with a lot and don't normally act this way."

These are common cover-ups. Victims may be saying this because they truly do believe that their partner is good, but often it is a self-preservation mechanism. To save face, a narcissist may appear to take bad news well publicly, but privately they can take out their anger and insecurities on the victim.


A history of abuse in past relationships 

It is common for both victims and abusers to have a history of abuse, whether physical, mental, emotional, or a combination. This shared empathy toward one another's pain might have been one of the things that attracted such partners in the first place. But old patterns die hard, and both parties may find themselves replicating those old situations. A victim in one relationship can be an abuser in another; this is particularly true in cases of abused parents, who might take out their stress on children or teach them behaviors to cope with a dysfunctional or abusive household. Anyone who normalizes manipulation, lying, and controlling others has likely been exposed to abuse before—whether as the victim or the perpetrator.

How to deal with it & seek help.

Although it is possible for a narcissist to seek treatment, it is rare. They are unlikely to see anything wrong with their behavior and may only get treatment when required to do so. Mead says that in cases of divorce, custody battles, or legal disputes, mandatory counseling may be revelatory for these individuals. But for those coping with the effects of a narcissist's wrath, treatment is much easier to obtain and more likely to result in meaningful change.

Recovering from toxic relationships takes time because, after such a relationship, everyone seems threatening. The manipulation of such a partnership has likely isolated victims from a social system that could help in recovery, so it is essential to revisit the past to understand better how to start fresh.

"In therapy, we also explore why and how you got into this relationship. Often this involves exploring unhealed childhood wounds and lifelong people-pleasing behavior," Mead explains. "When trust in self and trust in others returns, healing begins to take place."

The bottom line.

Falling in love with a narcissist is easy to do, but staying in love is not. Admitting that your partner is a narcissist is an excellent place to start turning the tide on the power dynamic that narcissists prey upon. While your natural inclination might be to push them to get help, it is much more realistic for you to do so first.

Healing from narcissistic abuse begins with rebuilding your self-identity, restoring a self-care routine, and establishing personal boundaries that protect your mental and physical well-being. Regular healthy communication with a professional can offer new insights to improve the relationship or prepare the necessary groundwork for a safe breakup.

Talking through what happened in one toxic relationship tends to uncover many more lurking in the shadows. Some might be familial, making them much harder to walk away from permanently, and deep-seated in trauma or abuse. In those cases, holistic mental health therapy can help you heal from those traumas and set healthy new boundaries for the future. Seeking professional help is imperative to breaking patterns of physical and psychological abuse.

Narcissistic Abuse: 16 Dangerous Harbingers

Contrary to popular belief, narcissists don't really love themselves. In fact, all their actions are explained by the desire to hide a sense of shame. We can say that they are driven by shame.

They once created an idealized image of themselves that they expect others to admire. But deep down, narcissists constantly feel this gap between the real "I" and the fictional image. So every day they try to somehow fill this void. To fill this gap, narcissists resort to destructive defense mechanisms that hurt loved ones.

Many of their coping mechanisms are offensive to other people. This is where the specific term "narcissistic violence" comes from.

However, one must clearly distinguish between narcissists and people who have a tendency to offend. For example, individuals suffering from other mental illnesses (bipolar disorders, sociopathy, etc.), drug addicts can also abuse people, but they are not narcissists.

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1. Make sure that insults are taking place.
2. Create your own support system.
3. Learn to protect yourself.

What is narcissistic abuse?

Abuse can be emotional, mental, physical, financial, spiritual or sexual. Here are a few good examples that will help you understand this issue:

• Verbal abuse. They include humiliation, accusation, shame, demand, order, threat, criticism, sarcasm, resistance, blocking. Please note that many people periodically resort to such actions. However, with the narcissist, this practice is constant.

• Manipulation. The narcissist indirectly influences someone to achieve their goals. He acts like a wolf in sheep's clothing. At first, it seems to us that his words are harmless. But at the end of the conversation, humiliation and even hidden aggression and hostility are clearly felt.

• Emotional blackmail. It includes threat, anger, warning, intimidation or punishment. This is a form of manipulation that causes doubt in the victim. She feels fear, obligation and guilt. Her feelings seem to be in a fog, she cannot express them and interpret them correctly.

• Deliberate provocation. The narcissist deliberately behaves in such a way that the interlocutor turns out to be abnormal, and not himself. To do this, he resorts to many different tricks: for example, casually mentions being overweight, and then says that he was joking that the interlocutor reacts too violently to this news.

• Competition. He always tries to hurt the opponent in order to force him to enter into a tacit game. For the sake of victory, the narcissist will do anything, even cheating.

• A game of contrast. He specifically compares a person with someone else, emphasizing the superiority of the latter.

• Sabotage. He interferes in your affairs and relationships in order to bring chaos and discord into them and to obtain personal gain.

• Exploitation and objectification. He uses other people to achieve his goals, while not taking into account other people's desires and feelings.

• False. He resorts to deceit to avoid punishment and responsibility for his own mistakes.

• Retention (concealment). He deliberately hides money from a loved one, manipulates sexual relationships, sets the tone for communication and plays on affection.

• Neglect. Usually the narcissist neglects the needs of the child for whom he is responsible.

• Invasion of private property. He does not respect personal boundaries, takes your phone without asking, sits on your page on a social network, reads your mail. At the same time, he completely ignores requests for non-interference in personal life.

• Libel. He spreads gossip, tells false details about you to other people.

• Violence. It includes a variety of forms: from damage to your property, ending with a fight and emotional abuse.

• Financial claims. He controls your income, extorts money from you through manipulation, maybe even steals.

• Insulation. He forbids you to communicate with anyone other than himself, trying to maintain control and status of authority.

Narcissism manifests itself in many ways. It can range from ignoring your desires to violent aggression. As a rule, narcissists do not take responsibility for their own actions, always shifting the blame to the one they offended. They justify it by saying that the person provoked them.

Narcissists and sociopaths

There is a concept of "malignant narcissism". People suffering from this mental illness have a heightened level of self-love, a complete absence of disturbing guilt, and they are extremely hostile. Some people even show sadistic tendencies, that is, they feel pleasure from inflicting pain on another person. Their behavior is antisocial, and the resulting paranoia only adds fuel to the fire.

Malignant narcissism can resemble sociopathy. However, they are distinguished, first of all, by motives. The narcissist maintains the image he has created, while the sociopath constantly changes masks to fit the situation. Sociopaths do not attach to people, unlike narcissists. The latter do not want to be abandoned, they literally depend on relationships.

Only a person with adequate self-esteem can fight a narcissist. It will help you set boundaries and improve communication.


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What are the signs of narcissistic abuse and what to do about it?

Author: Claudia M. Elsig, MD

“Daffodils and psychopaths are everywhere. They are hard to recognize and harder to deal with.” These are the words of Sam Vaknin, professor of psychology, expert on narcissism and author of Malignant Narcissism: Narcissism Revisited , the first book on narcissistic abuse.1

A narcissist can be your neighbor, boss or co-worker, difficult partner, parent or child. Perhaps you are dating a narcissist? Whoever this person is, those under the influence of a narcissist often live in loneliness, pain, and fear.

The exclusive CALDA clinic specializes in individual mental health rehabilitation programs, including the treatment of problems resulting from narcissistic abuse. This blog reveals some of the signs to look out for and provides guidance on what to do.

So how do you know if there is a narcissist in your life?

What is narcissistic behavior?

The first signs that your partner/boss/friend is a narcissist are often subtle. At first, they will shower you with praise, and in the case of a romantic relationship, with love. Relationships can seem almost perfect. When the first cues appear, the behavior may show itself as occasional outbursts of anger, or you may notice that the person is unable to take any kind of remarks or criticism. Or they may begin to negatively evaluate your appearance or behavior.

Narcissists tend to be domineering, dictating what to do, where to go, and even what to wear. This will gradually manifest itself as the relationship develops. The narcissist in your life will start to neglect you and your needs, and if you try to reason with them, they will put you down by saying things like "you're over-dramatizing" or "don't be funny. " Your dreams, ideas, and needs are completely ignored by them because they lack the ability to care for and empathize with you.

For narcissists, there is only a sense of self-importance. They behave spoiled, expect constant praise and consider themselves superior to others. They can be proud and arrogant, expecting people to want to be around them. When a narcissist doesn't get what they want, they become irritable, rude, and angry. The narcissist easily feels offended and is often in a bad mood. He (or she) will never admit that the problem is in their own behavior - the fault always lies with someone else.

It is not a problem for a narcissist to destroy relationships openly and recklessly.

Why do people become narcissists?

Professor Vaknin describes the narcissist as "a collection of personalities in one body."2 The narcissist cannot be calculated because the behavior fluctuates between two limits. While the narcissist may appear unpredictable, incomprehensible, and complex, in reality, according to Vaknin, it is "a very simple binary machine" with "the behavior of a two-year-old child. "

According to him, this is due to the fact that the parents do not provide the child with the opportunity to properly separate from the mother. The child was unable to perceive reality and "individuality". Narcissists become this way because they had an emotionally painful, neglectful, or even abusive childhood.

Narcissistic relationships are often based on superficial attributes such as beauty, power, and wealth. The narcissist wants to surround himself with people who fit the pompous image, so he is often attracted to people with strong wills. At first, the narcissist will idealize their partner, putting him on a pedestal - this is the place of shared fantasies. They are attracted to people who treat them well, as they like to present themselves in a favorable light. At first, the narcissist gives the impression of a likeable and charming person.

As the relationship progresses (when the honeymoon ends), the narcissist becomes disillusioned, unbalanced and aggressive. When the narcissist's behavior switches, he (or she) will seek to destroy the talents and qualities they initially admired. At this stage, the narcissist is in a state that Vaknin describes as "pathological narcissistic space". It is then that the narcissist will show his true colors. They may begin to insult, manipulate, use emotional blackmail and psychological pressure. They may be denied money, sex, or communication; do anything to make their victim feel emotionally unstable.

What is the impact of narcissistic violence?

Daffodils are difficult to recognize; they are prone to manipulation and exploitation, and many of them do not exhibit extreme narcissistic behavior. In other words, many of them are not textbook narcissists. But, as Vaknin reminds us, daffodils are everywhere. They, according to Vaknin, have reached the top in all areas of life, from politics to show business, law enforcement, the media, the judiciary and even the clergy. Everyone knows a narcissist.

The impact of this is enormous. There are many victims of narcissistic abuse today, including those in the upper echelons of society.

So what is the impact on those who are on the side of the victim?

Narcissistic abuse is mostly emotional but can also include physical and sexual abuse. As with any humiliating relationship, the abuser wears down the victim. Constant emotional trauma over a long period of time can lead to the development of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This persistent traumatic stress has been shown to have a real physiological effect on the brain, damaging the ability to think clearly and negatively impacting learning.3

The constant humiliation dosed by the narcissist leaves the victim with low self-confidence and self-esteem. Imagine how you would feel if you were constantly told that you are wrong.

In the short term, when the body builds up stress, it can cause physical symptoms such as body aches, headaches, and digestive problems.

Long-term symptoms may include cognitive, behavioral and emotional problems. For example, confusion, nightmares, poor thinking ability, poor attention span, poor problem solving ability, difficulty making decisions, poor memory, disorientation, feeling withdrawn, nervousness, inability to rest, associativeness, increased anxiety, feelings of fear, guilt or shame, feeling irritable, restless, depressed, angry, or overwhelmed.

What can you do?

First, it is important to understand that the consequences of narcissistic abuse are complex and can be profound. But don't despair, you can be reborn from narcissistic abuse with the right help.

Some victims of narcissistic abuse try to change the person, to help. But it's useless. The narcissistic personality type does not want to change and will constantly affect the world in accordance with their distorted vision. They consider themselves ideal and cannot understand why others do not see in them only brilliance, intelligence, magnificence and so on.

For those who are still in a relationship with a narcissist, it is not easy to end the relationship. Living in a narcissistic relationship is like walking on eggshells! But choosing the easiest path and continuing the abusive relationship will eventually take its toll. If you try to leave, they may beg you not to and shower you with gifts, but be aware that the narcissist will always return to their abusive habits.

However, you can take back control. You need to trust friends or family to help you develop an exit plan. When you distance yourself from your abuser, it is best to cut off all contact, although this may not be possible completely if you have children together. In this case, you should limit the topics of conversation, and, most importantly, avoid casual conversations. This is very important if you want to heal from such a toxic relationship.

Healing from narcissistic abuse is extremely painful. Therapy can help you process and heal from trauma, teach you how to deal with challenges, and give you the opportunity to set boundaries for normal communication in the future.

It is important that you choose a therapy clinic/therapist who is experienced in treating this type of injury.

CALDA Clinic

CALDA Clinic is a privately owned Swiss facility specializing in mental health rehabilitation programs for VIPs, the super rich and celebrities. The unique CALDA concept guarantees personalized precision medicine and personalized premium support, including personalized counseling and state-of-the-art psychiatry delivered by a highly qualified team and network of experts. The concept of CALDA is highly regarded as an effective treatment for narcissistic abuse.

If you would like to know more about the CALDA concept, please contact us personally. Absolute tact, trust and humanity are the top priority at CALDA. All clients are self-payers, which ensures the possibility of absolute secrecy.

Reference sources

  1. Prof. Sam Vaknin, YouTube / Prof. Sam Vaknin YouTube
  2. Prof. Sam Vaknin, September 23, 2021 / Prof.
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