My husband turns everything around on me
3 Tips to Restore Your Peace
Inside: “My husband turns everything around on me and I’m frustrated!” Here’s why he does it plus how to take back your power and restore your peace.
I gaped, my eyes bulging as I stood across the granite-topped island from him. My brain struggled to register what had just come from his mouth.
How, for goodness sake, had he so skillfully turned this around on me?
I’d strategized and prepared for days. I knew the conversation wouldn’t be easy and he wouldn’t take my feedback lying down. So when I finally bit the bullet and brought up the subject, I used every diplomatic skill in my arsenal.
My goal was to minimize the hit to his ego because I knew he’d come out swinging if his pride—always his priority—felt bruised. I’d expected some pushback, but not the nuclear fallout that continued for days afterward.
I should have anticipated it, though. Because although he wasn’t my husband, he’d been my boyfriend for long enough that I was used to him blaming me for everything.
Even so, as I stood in my kitchen on that Saturday afternoon listening to his accusations, all I could think was, “He did it again. Somehow, he managed to turn this around on me.”
My Husband Blames Me for Everything…Every. Single. Thing!
In that one instance, my partner blamed me for his inaction, laziness, and lack of contribution to our financial life. It was huge, obvious, and beyond ridiculous, even for him, the ultimate blame-shifter.
But he doesn’t only behave this way with big issues, does he? He turns everything around on you—and everyone else, for that matter—in small ways too. All the time.
Like when he:
- Low-key blames you for not nudging him to do something as if you’re his personal reminders app.
- Comes back at you with, “But you didn’t…” whenever he feels like you’re criticizing him.
- Accidentally leaves his wallet at home (which was obviously your fault since you annoyed him just before he left the house).
Let’s just rip the bandage off and call a spade a spade. Your husband or partner may be a narcissist. Or he may simply be a jerk.
Either way, he’s mastered the art of sneaky fault-finding and blame-shifting. And now you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, waiting for him to explode the next molehill into an unnecessary mountain.
But why does he behave this way?
Part of taking back your power is understanding what’s beneath his behavior. So let’s dig in and find out.
Bonus: As a bonus for joining my weekly newsletter, get these free Scripture Cards. They’ll help you get back the confidence you’ve lost to your husband’s endless blame game.
But First, Let’s Be Honest
Let’s be real: sometimes it’s your fault. After all, you’re only human, which means you’re imperfect and you mess up at times.
But in a healthy relationship, each person pretty evenly takes responsibility for the inevitable issues that crop up.
In an emotionally mature relationship, partners own up when they fail because they care about their integrity and their partner’s emotional well-being.
Plus, when they need to discuss the issue, they do it with love as their motivation. Not because they have to prove they’re right, or to put down the other person so they can build themselves up.
This is the complete opposite of the sneaky blame game your partner has going on, where nothing is ever his fault.
My Husband Turns Everything around on Me. Why Does He Do That?
You can find lots of reasons why he behaves this way. But let’s talk about three of the most common ones you’re probably dealing with right now.
Then we’ll talk about how to take your power back and restore your peace.
1. My Husband Blames Everything on Me: His Insecurity
Your husband or partner may turn everything around on you because he feels insecure.
It may not seem like it but many blame-shifters often have low self-esteem. So, to feel better about himself, your husband puts you down and makes you feel like you’re not good enough.
Here’s how it works in his head.
When he turns things around on you, he proves that he’s better than you. This takes the spotlight off you and puts it squarely back on him, where he wants it. Now you’re the one who looks bad instead of him.
He’ll even deliberately go digging for your faults just so he can feel better about himself. This happens especially when you’re winning—at work or in life—and he feels like he’s not.
Related: How To Pray For Love And Peace In Your Home
2. My Partner Turns Everything around on Me: His Need for Control
Your man may turn everything around on you because he wants to control you.
If your husband is a typical blame-shifter, he’s very good at using what he calls logic. In this case, he twists things around and manipulates you into taking responsibility for his mess-up.
Blame-shifters are masters at this tactic. Basically, he “logics” you saying it’s all your fault.
Over time, he conditions you—using his special brand of logic that you can never beat—to believe you’re always to blame.
Eventually, he wears you down until you lose your confidence, doubt your own motives, and—with an ache in the pit of your stomach—reminisce about the good old days when your self-esteem was healthy.
You become his puppet—controlled by a simple look or a word from him—all without noticing what’s happening. He’s even conditioned you to second-guess every decision for fear he won’t approve.
3. My Husband Turns Everything around on Me: His Guilt
Your partner may turn everything around on you as a diversionary tactic. In this case, one of two things is happening. He may not want to admit guilt for a failing you know about. Or he wants to avoid confessing to a secret sin.
You see, coming off as less than perfect is his kryptonite. So he doesn’t like taking responsibility for his not-so-great action or inaction.
When he shifts the blame to you, he distracts you from the issue at hand—where he knows he’s at fault—by putting you on the defensive. In effect, he baits you away so you won’t probe too closely.
A Pro Skill for What to Do If Your Husband Blames You for Everything
Now you know three reasons why your man constantly shifts the blame to you:
- He’s insecure and protecting his low self-esteem.
- He wants to control you.
- He doesn’t want to admit blame or he’s hiding a secret sin.
Can you see how his blame-shifting has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him? You’re simply his convenient scapegoat.
Still, you wonder, “My husband turns everything around on me, and that’s not right. How do I handle this?”
How do you maintain your peace when he’s doing everything to wreck it? And how do you get him to stop destroying your confidence and self-esteem with his harmful actions?
Here’s the bad news first: you can’t do anything about his behavior.
Sorry, girl. It’s hard to swallow but it’s the raw truth.
He’s a grown man so he has the right to do whatever he wants. Short of domestic violence or physically endangering you, of course.
You can’t change him, not by anything you say or do. You see, he’s convinced he’s never wrong. So you trying to point out his faults will get you exactly nowhere.
Yes, God can and does work miracles. But your man most likely won’t just up and change. So don’t depend on any solution to your problem where he magically becomes different.
Fools are headstrong and do what they like; wise people take advice.Proverbs 12:15 (MSG)
But here’s the wonderful news. You have all the power you need to create a solution for yourself.
I’ll show you how by answering your 3 most pressing questions.
As I answer them, I’ll reveal a master technique for feeling better the next time your husband turns something around on you.
1. My husband thinks he’s always right and I’m wrong. How can I get him to believe it’s his fault?
Bet on this: you’ll never convince him that he’s wrong.
Remember who you’re dealing with. He’ll go down swinging to protect his pride, his low self-esteem, and his perfect image of himself.
So walk away from that idea and stop wasting your time.
But how do you walk away from an argument when you know he’s wrong and you’re right?
Well, you just allow him to be wrong.
There’s no law saying you have to prove yourself right and him wrong. That’s your desire for fair play talking.
Sure, it would be great if every person in the world would own up and fess up when they’re wrong. Then we could keep things nice and fair all the time.
But that’s a pipe dream and you’re not the Galaxy’s Guardian of All Justice.
So here are three things you can stop doing right now:
- Stop wishing for him to admit he’s wrong and apologize.
- Stop wishing for him to stick to the script you have for him.
- And stop wasting your energy fighting a war you can’t win.
Let go of how you expect him to behave and let him be wrong.
The day you start allowing people to just be wrong—about you, about themselves, and about any hot-button issue that usually riles you up—is the day you take back a whole lot of peace in your life.
2. What’s the best way to treat people who continuously find fault with everything you do?
“But, Kris,” you say, “That is not OK! How can I just let him be wrong when my husband turns everything around on me? Are you saying I should roll over and take it?”
Nope, I’m not saying that.
While you’re letting him be wrong, you don’t have to stew over the unfairness of it all. And you don’t have to let yourself feel persecuted.
You see, you’ve gotten into the habit of being his victim whenever your husband turns everything around on you. Each time, the story in your head goes something like this:
- Here we go again, he’s blaming me for everything. Why am I always at fault and he’s never wrong? This is so unfair! It’s not right and he needs to stop doing this to me. He’s totally ruined my day, acting like a jerk…again!
You’ve given away your emotional power, which feels terrible, doesn’t it?
Instead, tell yourself an empowering, better-feeling, more self-supportive story like this:
- Would you look at that? My husband is turning this whole thing around on me again. He’s at fault—it’s crystal clear—but he’ll never admit it. It must suck to be wrong and not want to hear it because of your ego. Too bad for him. Well, back to this great book I was reading.
See? When you let him be wrong, you:
- Don’t let him get under your skin;
- Keep your power; and
- Maintain your inner peace.
Heck, you may even feel compassion for him.
3. But how can you maintain a healthy relationship with someone who turns things around on you?
Now, I’m not saying you should subject yourself to emotional abuse, from him or anyone else.
Because while you’re maintaining your peace amid his blame-shifting, you also need to decide if this is the type of relationship you want for yourself.
Especially if this man isn’t your lawfully wedded husband. Like my ex-partner wasn’t my husband.
A few simple questions—and a commitment to be honest with yourself—will help you decide.
As you think about these questions, keep this context in mind: you can’t stop your man from turning everything around on you.
- What type of person do I want to be with?
- What qualities do I value in the people I let into my inner circle?
- Which of these qualities are the most important for my partner to have?
As you think about these questions and any others that come to mind, journal your answers. Then ask yourself similar questions about your current relationship so you can see where the biggest differences lie.
Once you’ve uncovered the differences, decide how you can bridge the gaps without requiring him to change. Or if you even want to bridge them.
Finally, pray and think about how you want the rest of your life to unfold. Because God’s plan for you isn’t to be in an emotionally abusive relationship with a man who isn’t your husband.
Husbands, love your wives [be affectionate and sympathetic with them] and do not be harsh or bitter or resentful toward them.Colossians 3:19 (AMPC)
If you’re in a marriage with this type of controlling person, you can do the same exercise.
But add one more question to your self-reflection list:
- What kind of wife do I want to be?
You can answer this question by listing the qualities you want to have in your marriage. For example:
- In my relationship, I want to be slow to anger and quick to forgive.
- I want to be kind and generous with my love.
- I want to feel confident in my relationship.
You can even do your own Bible study on what it means to be a godly wife. Then focus on showing up as the wife you want to be.
Related: 4 Uplifting Tips That Will Make You Feel Appreciated in Every Situation
Beyond focusing on yourself, you may try to get your husband into counseling with you. But straight up, this is next to impossible with a blame-shifter. So don’t bank on it happening.
Plus, if you do achieve the miracle of getting him into counseling, he may use his pro skills at blame-shifting to convince the counselor that you’re the source of all your relationship problems. So don’t get your hopes up too high.
Meanwhile, you can also seek advice from an experienced Christian mentor or counselor at your church. You can even find a support group online.
Get Your Free Scripture Cards (With Bible Verses to Boost Your Confidence)
When you build up your confidence on purpose, you take back your emotional power from your husband—or anyone else who’s stolen it!
One way to keep your power and your peace is to know what God says about you. Use these Scripture cards to set that foundation now.
- Get the free Scripture cards. You’ll get the printable cards and join my weekly newsletter. Just click here to get the cards and subscribe.
- Print the cards. You can print them on any type of paper but heavy cardstock is best so they last.
- Keep the card you need most right now in your wallet (they’re sized to slide right in next to your driver’s license and bank cards), stick it on your bathroom mirror, or prop it on the base of your bedside lamp so it’s the last thing you see at night and the first thing you see in the morning.
Here’s a sneak peek of your free printable Scripture cards:
Your Action List for When He Turns Everything around on You
Long before that stunning conversation in my kitchen when my boyfriend turned everything around on me yet again, I knew our relationship was toxic.
Looking back now, it’s obvious. But by then, I’d bought his lie—hook, line, and sinker—that I was always the problem.
You see, he had me well trained and my self-esteem was in shambles. Plus, I didn’t have the tools or the confidence to handle the situation in ways where I wouldn’t end up feeling like roadkill.
But you do.
So next time your husband turns everything around on you:
- Allow him to be wrong. It doesn’t feel fair but you have nothing to gain in a war you can’t win.
- Tell yourself a more self-supportive story about his wrongness so you can keep your inner peace.
- Think about and choose what kind of relationship you want, and how you want to show up in it.
Before you go, get your FREE Who God Says I Am Scripture Cards.
In the end, you can’t control your man, the way he’s trying to control you. And you can’t force him to stop turning everything around on you.
But…you can control your own mind so you keep your peace and your power.
Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.Philippians 4:7 (NLT)
My Husband Blames Everything on Me Action Checklist
Use this short but powerful checklist when your husband turns everything around on you:
- Let him be wrong.
- Drop your expectations for how he should act.
- Restore your peace with an empowering, better-feeling perspective on his actions.
- Rebuild your stolen self-esteem and self-confidence with reminders about who you are to God.
- Evaluate your relationship against what you desire for yourself.
- Decide if you want to bridge the gaps you discover.
- Decide on purpose who you want to show up as in your relationship, even when he blames everything on you.
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My Husband Turns Everything Around On Me
If one major complaint in your marriage is: My husband turns everything around on me, this article is right up your alley.
The evil art of blame-shifting as well as gaslighting is something many spouses (read: narcissists) resort to when they are unwilling (and unable) to take responsibility for their behavior.
A controlling person such as your husband will blame you for everything (even the little things) and put you through emotional abuse with their narcissistic ways.
They will make a big deal out of a tiny issue and give you a hard time whenever you suggest seeing a marriage counselor.
While the extent of your marital issues is between the two of you, this much I can say: Domestic violence never starts as one big thing.
At first, you’ll feel as if you’re in a loving relationship with your best friend. He’s still the kind human being you met for the first time years ago and his narcissism is nowhere to be found.
He tells you he loves you numerous times a day, and your family members are most likely fond of him, too.
But then, one day, you start seeing the warning signs you may have been oblivious to all this time.
You don’t use the word abuser lightly, but compared to what he was like last year, you’re starting to see a different picture.
He undermines you constantly. He shatters your self-esteem, and the healthy relationship you were so proud of has turned into an emotionally abusive relationship.
There’s no physical abuse (yet), but he’s becoming a bad person that you have to walk on eggshells around.
The thought: ‘My husband turns everything around on me’ is constantly rummaging through your head. Are you leaning toward a breakup, and why is he acting this way?
Here are 20 unbelievable reasons why your husband is pushing the blame. How many of them can you check off the list?
See also: My Husband Is Mean To Me And It’s Slowly Ruining Our Marriage
My Husband Turns Everything Around On Me – 20 Explanations
Here’s everything you need to know about your husband’s sudden toxic behavior. These explanations will help you figure out your next move.
He feels unappreciated by you.
The simplest solution could be that he simply doesn’t feel valued by you. While I always say that it takes two to tango, there could be some truth to this after all.
You’re the only one who knows whether this is the case or not.
His emotional abuse is never tolerable, but if you feel that your actions somehow contribute to this behavior, you might be able to sit down and talk it through after all.
RELATED: 15 Painful Signs Your Husband Doesn’t Love You Anymore
He lacks empathy.
There are people in this world with severely low empathy levels. These individuals have a hard time sympathizing with other people’s feelings.
Oftentimes, they are also called narcissists. While not everyone who lacks empathy is referred to as a narcissist, they do share eerily similar traits.
If your husband finds it challenging to realize that blaming you is wrong, he might lack empathy.
He has a holier-than-thou attitude.
His self-righteous moral superiority doesn’t allow him to ever question his actions and behavior. God forbid he did that!
People like this will be in firm denial and refuse to face the facts even when they’re staring them right in the face. You shouldn’t get involved with someone like this in the first place.
Why? Because you’ll never have a life partner in the proper sense of the word. Their moral high ground is always going to be one level above yours. At least, according to him.
Every time you face him with something he doesn’t want to hear, he gets overly emotional. He takes everything way too personally, which makes you constantly walk on eggshells.
It’s like you didn’t marry a man, but an immature boy. He doesn’t have his emotions in check, and that means that blaming you is a common issue in the marriage.
If you can’t handle yourself, how can you be mindful of your partner’s needs?
See also: I Don’t Want My Husband To Touch Me Anymore (Causes & Solutions)
His extreme vulnerability can cause him to crave power and superiority. In turn, this can result in him putting you down for his satisfaction.
Another thing vulnerability can create is a sense of insecurity. This can make people never want to be seen as a bad person. Do you have reason to believe that this could be your husband’s struggle?
If he has to win every argument and keeps deflecting the blame from himself to you, the answer is probably yes.
He gets offended easily…
Especially at the thought of marriage counseling. All you want to do is work it out and talk to someone who genuinely might be able to help you, but he won’t hear of it.
He takes it as an offense and doesn’t give it any thought. When my husband turns everything around on me, I immediately ask him to explain his behavior.
I demand to know why he refuses to see my idea as something helpful. You need to remind him that you two are a team.
You’re not trying to cause him to feel bad; you’re merely trying to make things better for the sake of your marriage.
He’s plagued by a sense of entitlement.
This is something his family members, friends, co-workers, and anyone who knows him can tell you. He is a covert narcissist with a severe case of entitlement.
This causes him to turn everything around on you, as whatever happens, he was either right to do it or he didn’t do anything wrong at all.
That’s what you get when you get involved with narcissists. They are self-absorbed, always in the right, and if you care to question their behavior, they’ll make you feel sorry.
He’s a perfectionist.
His point of view is always the right one. Why? Because he’s incapable of doing anything wrong.
Now, this doesn’t make it true. His perfectionism doesn’t mean that he’s faultless. Being married to a perfectionist isn’t necessarily bad.
But, when they resort to blame-shifting and gaslighting, now, that’s a problem.
He’s controlling and dominating by nature.
Ultimatums are his way of accomplishing things. He demands to know all about every phone call you take and every person you see.
He doesn’t let you control your own life, as he needs to be on top of everything when it comes to you. He knows best.
When you married him, it wasn’t nearly as severe as it is now. You could never imagine calling him an abuser before, but how else can you explain his behavior?
See also: What Should I Do When My Husband Chooses His Family Over Me?
He thrives on watching others fail.
He often says things like “OMG, did you see what a fool Steve made of himself last night? Wasn’t it AMAZING?”
And, you think to yourself how sad his words are. Who could enjoy watching someone they care about fail? Your husband, I guess.
This type of behavior is directly connected to his inability to sympathize with someone who is going through hardships. Moreover, it makes him more likely to lose his moral compass.
Therefore, you so often think to yourself: My husband turns everything around on me, but why? Now, you have an idea why.
He avoids feeling emotions, as to him, it’s a sign of weakness
In every good relationship, both partners need to be able to communicate their needs and wants. Emotions are a big part of that. You can’t see this as a weakness.
But, your husband does. He’ll never say how he feels. He’ll never let himself be vulnerable. You’ve probably never even seen him cry.
All that macho crap has turned him into a toxic partner who blames you for everything. That’s easier than admitting that you’re only human, and that, yeah, you’ll make mistakes.
He’s an egomaniac.
You’ve never seen someone as egotistical and self-absorbed as your husband. His excessive obsession with his ego means he never stops to consider how that makes you feel.
He’s preoccupied with his delusions of personal greatness and shows a lack of appreciation for you and all that you do.
Sometimes, egomaniacs resort to aggression to try to prove their point.
Don’t ignore the warning signs of this. This might be a case of emotional abuse, but it could also be a matter of time before it turns physical.
He needs people to know how great he is.
He needs people to be aware of his greatness. His sense of grandiosity is at an all-time high. He makes a big deal out of every mediocre thing he does.
How could a person as flawless as your husband do anything wrong? Moreover, how could he let anyone else think that?
He can’t allow you to be right, as that would suggest he’s human after all.
He’s the master of projecting.
A narcissist skillfully uses projection to get you where he wants you. That’s his area of expertise.
What is this projection that I speak of?
‘’In the field of psychology, projection – or psychological projection – is the denial of subconscious impulses by the human ego.
For instance, someone accusing their partner of cheating when they’re the one engaging in the scandalous act is projecting.”
And, something tells me that this describes your husband to a T. Am I right in thinking so?
He likes to control with fear.
Everytime he wants something, he uses scare tactics to get you to do it for him. He’s a controlling person, and creating fear is what he thrives on.
That way, you’re unlikely to stick up for yourself, and he’s always in control of his surroundings.
See also: What Does It Mean When Your Husband Looks At Another Woman?
He naturally likes to cause trouble.
He’s just a jerk by nature. Sometimes, that’s all there is to it. He enjoys causing trouble. He loves being the reason why someone suffers be it his wife, friends, or family members.
He can’t leave negative social media comments alone. He has to get involved every single time.
Not to mention real-life arguments… he can’t let things go. He’ll bite your head off if you dare defy him (yours and everyone else’s).
Sometimes, you wonder whether the signs were there all along.
But, it’s easier to believe that he just suddenly became this toxic person rather than accepting the fact that you’ve been living with him all this time.
He’s emotionally immature.
He’s an emotionally immature mama’s boy. He was raised to be a needy, demanding, attention-seeking narcissist, and over time, the symptoms only get worse.
While this isn’t entirely his fault, he was fully able to shake it off and become a kind, considerate human being as he grew up.
You can’t do anything about how your parents raise you when you’re a kid, but as you get older (and hopefully more mature), you start seeing the error in their ways and do everything in your power to change them.
Obviously, this wasn’t the case with your husband, and that tells you everything you need to know about him.
He can’t handle negative feedback.
His thought process is probably like: “OMG, how dare you question me or anything that I say and do?”
In translation, his ability to handle any type of negative feedback is astonishingly nonexistent. You feel as if he’d fall apart if he was forced to face all of his BS throughout the years.
But, he uses his fragile demeanor as an excuse to do as he pleases without suffering the consequences.
He uses guilt as a tool.
Often, controlling people are highly skilled at manipulating their spouses and their emotions in a way that serves their goal.
What’s that you may wonder? It is getting you to feel a constant stream of guilt about every little thing that happens throughout the day so that you can do their bidding for them.
He guilt-trips you into doing his work for him, and you never complain as you feel immense pressure to do so.
Oftentimes, by doing this, you give up your power in the relationship. Needless to say, that plays right into his hands.
See also: What Should I Do When My Husband Thinks He Does Nothing Wrong?
7 Questions You Need To Ask Yourself In This Situation
Before you decide what your next step is, ask yourself these questions and be honest in how you answer them. They will help you see how you feel about your marriage.
Do you believe that his behavior is in any way your fault?
The first thing you need to ask yourself is whether or not he is successful in making you believe that it’s you?
Newsflash, it’s NOT, but you have to figure this out for yourself. I can keep convincing you that this is all him, but if you refuse to see it, not much can be done.
So, do you? Do you believe his behavior is on you? Do you believe that somehow, you make him turn everything around on you?
Depending on your answer, you’ll start seeing what your next steps should be.
Does being married to him make you feel good about yourself?
This one’s simple. Being married to someone is supposed to make you feel good about yourself. Not just on some days, but EVERY day.
It’s supposed to emphasize all your best qualities and increase your self-esteem. It should make you feel like you can accomplish all your goals without ever questioning your abilities.
A marriage is supposed to be an uplifting, nurturing, healthy environment where you feel your absolute safest. Do you?
Do you feel like your husband has your back?
Does he have your back? Would he defend you in your absence? Does he encourage you when you fail?
The answer to all of these questions is supposed to be an unequivocal YES.
Partners should be there for each other through thick and thin without hesitation. If you don’t feel that way in your marriage, what does that tell you?
See also: My Husband Wants A Divorce But I Still Love Him – 16 Dos & Don’ts
What advice would you give a close friend who is going through the same thing?
This is one of the surest ways to see things clearly once and for all. If one of your closest friends is going through the same thing, what would you tell her?
I’m pretty sure I already know. Isn’t it amazing how differently we treat ourselves versus our best friends?
You’re putting up way more than you ever should while I’m sure that if your bestie was in your shoes, you’d be telling her to leave his sorry ass yesterday. Why do you think that is?
Is there anything YOU can do to improve things?
While his behavior is in no way on you (as made clear by the first question), you can still ask yourself whether there’s anything YOU can do to improve your unhappy spousal union.
If there’s a slight chance that your actions could somehow make a positive shift, it could be the saving grace for your marriage.
In an ideal world, how would you want to be treated by your S/O?
Forget about your current reality. How would you like to be treated by your significant other if you lived in an ideal world?
Think about this one, then answer me this: Do you need to be living in an ideal world to be treated fairly?
The answer is no. Your marriage should be a safe haven regardless of the kind of world we live in.
When you come home, all your worries should dissipate (at least for a minute) and a sense of tranquility should overwhelm you.
What does your future look like without him in it?
Look into your future with him versus one without him. How does the former make you feel as opposed to the latter?
Do you see yourself happy, fulfilled, and taken care of if you stay with him? Or, is there a sense of relief at the thought of a future in which he isn’t a part of your life?
Think long and hard about this one. The answer will tell you all you need to know about what you need to do next. All it comes down to is whether or not he makes you happy.
See also: 7 Signs Of A Controlling Husband And Everything You Need To Know
Wrapping It Up
My husband turns everything around on me, but this is the last time I’m going to let it fly.
This is what your mantra should be from today on. After carefully having gone through all of my points, isn’t it obvious that this is not a healthy environment that you can thrive in?
Being married to a narcissist sucks the energy right out of you day after day, week after week. When is it going to be enough?
His blame-shifting and emotional manipulation are making it difficult for you to react the way you want to. Due to his gaslighting, you’re slowly losing self-respect and your sense of self.
Don’t let this go on any longer. It’s time to start taking responsibility for your actions. As long as you keep idly sitting around, suffering in silence and doing nothing, things will never change.
But, the moment you stick up for yourself and start letting him know that you’re not his punching bag, your life will change.
I can’t say for certain what this means for your marriage, but when you start prioritizing your well-being over his scare tactics, you’ll know what you need to do.
See also: When Is Cutting People Off Necessary? ( + 7 Tips To Do It)
Husband turns my words around - Advice from psychologists, consultations
Good afternoon. I am 34 years old, my husband is 40. We have been married for 15 years, and seven years ago we decided that we were ready to have children, but it turned out that my husband had a problem with this. The husband began to be treated, but medicines are medicines, and he does not change his lifestyle (drinks beer, smokes cigarettes ....) - it turns out that he contradicts himself (seven years ago - he persuaded me to become parents). This is an introduction to the course of events in our lives. Now the main thing: when we communicate, everything seems to be fine; but if I ask him for something or ask him, my husband starts to freak out (points to my intonation ... yes, I'm not always soft and fluffy). When you praise him, show tenderness - everything is fine (I try to constantly maintain his self-esteem and do not skimp), but if you make a remark to him or say that he is wrong - he is so psyched ... if I ask with whom and where he is going - my husband begins to accuse me - that I consider him a traitor and a bad person . ... although I didn’t have such subtext .... (although he came a couple of times after such meetings with his trousers down and it was that he came without panties. and to to my regret, I caught him repeatedly in lies of this type: I saw him after work in the city and called him, asking where he was now; to which I received an answer - at work, of course, I immediately announced to him that I was looking at him at the moment ) But I still try to believe him (I'm not one of those who forbid meeting friends and I think that everyone should have a personal space) It's hard when a person doesn't take criticism. thanks in advance for your reply.
Could my words lead to my husband's death? (2 answers)
Hello, Anna. Unfortunately, your husband suffered a strong, prolonged maternal criticism in childhood. And constant criticism and maternal treachery not only humiliates, but also lowers the value of the child in the feelings of the child himself. And YOU got a husband with low self-esteem. Very vulnerable to criticism based on the memories of the past. Relatively speaking, the vulnerability is so strong that, for example, you can just cough, and he will already think that you are unhappy with him again. He will first perceive any of your ambiguous phrases as an attack on a person and an insult. And when you are interested in where and with whom he went, this is a fact of distrust towards him, which is again considered by him as an attack. It contains a lot of aggression against the mother, which now feels like aggression against his wife. To change in this sense he will not be able to. You will have to change. Or become even more patient and more careful in choosing words (a word is like a scalpel), or if you are already tired of his ingratitude and humiliation, follow the path of it is necessary, like a flower, only to undead and cherish.
Karataev Vladimir Ivanovich, psychologist Volgograd
Husband says terrible things about my relatives (1 answer)
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Why does the husband try to make himself a victim?
Why the husband is trying . ..
Last - the last Go to
door closer Set
He twists any situation thus
quote="Guest" message_id="58585436"] and you try to put a rug like a large tray in the bathroom for the dog at night. a box low with a filler. look and teach like a cat. and it will not be necessary to walk when it is cold and slushy. and your dog is like an elderly homebody. it should suit her.
The problem is not the closed door, not the dog, it's just an example. He twists any situation in this way.[
and is it true that this Torsunov has followers of a man?? this is completely contrary to male nature. men love Novoselov. True, he recently decided to cooperate with the Russian Orthodox Church in the fight against matriarchy.))))) Rzhako)))) on YouTube there is his speech at the conference. which he himself organized with the Russian Orthodox Church. The hour is not even, soon the priests will persuade the Novoselov to get married, and not to commit adultery by cohabitation in sin)))))
What is the ROC???? Damn what passions are going on, you need to read what about love about ministry?))
#290 November 29, 2016, 14:24
And if it does not reward, then I tried bad my bat . ... my hands itch.
but the followers of Novoselov hate the Russian Orthodox Church, pour buckets of shit on the masculist.============================
this is exactly what the whole laugh is))))))))) after the conference, he and a couple of abfs argue in another video that the priests, it turns out, are quite sane smart people, and that in primitive times, when the leader with the peasants went to war, then he left the shaman as a deputy instead of himself. In general, the new settlers swam, got confused and already contradicts himself in places)))))
Vera Vladimirovna Zolotykh
Vyacheslav is rich
Certified practitioner. ..
Nidelko Lyubov Petrovna
Yesterday I told him - why are you shifting the responsibility for the situation to the dog? You are smarter than a dog, it is easier for you to train yourself to close the door than to wean a dog from a new habit.