Men who can't love

10 Men Who Can't Love [How To Avoid It]

Men and love, it's important to consider the men who find love difficult. The men who, therefore, can't find love. These men exist and tend to cause chaos in their attempts at relationships with women.

In another article I looked at How to Love a Woman. In talking about men in love. I said that it's an overwhelming emotion you have about another person, an emotion that you can't truly explain but you can't get rid of. It makes you want to be with that person, hold them, touch them, have sex with them. It shows itself as an exchange of energy, a polarity, that excites your soul. Love makes you feel great and totally transforms life. So to show what love is I will look at 10 men who can't love. It is in this contrast that the true depths of love are revealed.



It makes me sad that so many men just don't feel this emotion, that there are so many men who can't love. Yes, they have relationships, get married, have sex, bring up children, but still their lives remain relatively barren, they are still men who can't find love. They try hard but remain separated from their wife, girlfriend or partner. They sometimes have co-dependent relationships that are based on need or gap-filling, but they never truly know the wonder of an inter-dependent relationship based on trust and self-knowledge.

On balance what is it that holds them back? What is that gets in the way and stops them? Who are the Men Who Can't Find Love? They stand in our midst and we often fail to see them.

Who Are The Men?

Here are some pointers to what is happening in their lives instead of love:

1. Men who are looking for their mother.

I don't know whether the mothers or the men are to blame for this. The men are looking to be fed, have their cleaning done and be generally molly-coddled.

She didn't really teach me to look after myself or care for my woman.

I can remember my mother feeding me to show her love for me. It was great but it got too much for me at times. She didn't really teach me to look after myself or care for my woman. However I did not realise this at the time.

I now do the cooking and take part in the household chores, it is not my woman to look after me. I must do my part.

2. Men who are too absorbed in themselves.

It is their life, their hobbies, their friends, their ambition, their children, their... Somehow their women do not seem to come into the equation.

I can remember staying at work too long.

Men are used to running the world and filling their lives with activities and occupations. Nowadays men have even taken the role of father so seriously that they can forget that their woman is more than a mother.

I can remember staying at work too long when things were growing in my business. I can remember staying behind for a drink with my colleagues, forgetting my wife waiting for me at home. It was not good...

3. Men who are too on mission.

This is slightly different from the previous men who can't love because woman love their men to be on mission. The focus and dedication of a man on mission is an amazing sight.

Men need to find a balance.

Sometimes it just goes too far. Sometimes the climber climbs one too many mountains and kills the relationship in the process, Sometimes the businessman goes on one too many trips abroad and loses sight of home.

Men need to find a balance on their focus on their mission.

4. Men who see themselves as alpha.

These are the ones that cause me so much pain. They are men who have a misplaced idea about men needing to be the alpha-males. Yes, dogs do it, but they do not have the intelligence we have.

They just show how lacking they are in any emotion.

These men chase and conquer women to show how great they are. In the process they just show how lacking they are in any emotion, understanding or even humanity.

They are no better than dogs even if on the surface they appear to know what women want.


Men who just want a pal.

These are the sad ones who spend their lives going to the pub or the football game. They remember the great times with their pals when they were young and just want it to continue.

Sometimes men just need to realise they need to grow up.

Occasionally it works when the woman becomes one of the lads, but this never lasts, then the man is left wondering what happened.

Sometimes men just need to realise they need to grow up.

6. Men who are afraid of intimacy.

It is clear from looking at many relationships that men often have difficulty dealing with intimacy, particularly when a relationship appears to be out of their control.

Men need help to overcome their fear.

The interesting part of this is that men also have difficulty acknowledging that they have difficulty dealing with intimacy. They usually sublimate the emotions into actions that they can understand.

This can show itself as aggression or even abuse, but generally just results in sullenness and withdrawal. Men who have this difficulty need help to overcome their fear and learn to become a normal part of the world.

7. Men who want their lost youth.

This shows itself, classically, in the mid-life crisis. Things were great when they were young, or so they remember. Life was free and easy, there were no pressures, no mortgages. Their women were beautiful and nubile in the time before children.

It is possible to bring youth into your life by changing outlook.

They have affairs trying to reach their long lost nirvana. In the process they throw everything away.

It is possible, however, to bring your youth into your present life by changing your outlook.

8. Men who want to control.

Furthermore there are men who can't love who just never seem to get over the temper tantrums of their childhood. They want everything and they want it now. No-one is going to stand in their way.

There is a world out there that doesn't revolve around them!

They lash out at their wife and children as well as their employees at work. Nothing is good enough for them.

All in all they need to open their eyes and see that there is a big wide world out there that doesn't revolve around them!

9. Men who lack a sense of polarity.

These are the 'New Men' who feel compassion for their women and want to spend their lives honouring and worshiping them. There's nothing wrong with this as such but the problem comes when their masculinity disappears in the process.

Polarity disappears and relationships become empty.

As a result they go into their feminine and lose their sense of being a man. They seek equality with their woman and end up being the same.

The polarity disappears and the relationship become empty.

10. Men who are just too macho.

They just get so tied up with being a man. They look good, they drive a great car and they just expect women to fall over themselves to get to him.

Look at yourself for what a woman sees in you.

Well at first women do. Then they find that there's nothing there, there's no substance, no real man at all.

Don't get caught in this trap, look at yourself long and slow and look for what a woman sees in you.

Does This Mean Men Are Incapable Of Love?

This list seems to suggest that men are incapable of love. This is far from the truth. Most men I know are able to deeply love their partner, but they do not always show it. This is not because they do not feel it but because they have become afraid of displaying their emotions. So the lesson here is to sense the depth of what you feel and let it show. Do not shy away from what does not appear to be a masculine thing to do. I can assure you that it is.

When a man develops his presence and awareness he can find a power deep down inside that women are seeking. It is this power and confidence, an authentic power and confidence that successful men have. It is not arrogance or domination, it is a depth of love and compassion that is unbeatable.

So men, take care, become aware of who you are and how women see you. Don't become one of the 10 men who cant love a woman, be strong, be present and find love.

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  • Image copyright Mariya Georgieva

10 Sad Signs He's Incapable Of Love

Love is something that everyone should be able to do, but some just can’t. No matter how much you try with some people, they will never be capable of love or even showing empathy to other people.

Men who can't love and are like this are only out there for themselves.

And the moment you become inconvenient, useless, or otherwise not interesting, they’re done with you. Or, worse still, they may actually just date you because hurting you or controlling you makes them feel better.  

What I’m saying is that these guys are bad news.

When I used to date, I often wanted to show guys who were like this that love was a real thing. But if you run into one of these people, you shouldn’t try to fix them. Trying to do so will only end with you being used, hurt, or even abused.

Sadly, there are a lot of men out there who are incapable of love. And these warning signs indicate that the guy you’re talking to may be one of them.

RELATED: Men With These 5 Traits Are The Most Likely To Be Emotionally Unavailable

1. He makes misogynistic comments around you, or you find out later on that he makes those kinds of comments to other people. 

If a man hates women or talks about seeing them as objects, I have news for you: He can't love you!

How can he love a person that he’s automatically written off as a member of a group he hates? The truth is, he can’t. He just can’t.

Going into a relationship with a guy who hates women will mean that he’ll always find fault with what you do, no matter how good to him you are. Leave guys like this alone — all they know is hate, and you don’t need that poison around you.

2. He has a history of abuse and cheating.

Some behaviors don’t change, ever. This is because the behaviors in question tend to be a part of that person’s character and moral fiber.

If he has a history and a reputation for cheating on women and abusing them, then that tells you volumes about his character. A man doesn’t do this to his partners if he loves them, and a leopard doesn’t change its spots.

3. He’s incredibly shallow.

After having seen the difference in the way men treat me after gaining and losing weight, I have become a firm believer that men who are exceedingly shallow aren’t capable of loving anyone but themselves.

This is especially true if he brags about “only dating hot women” and doesn’t seem to actually listen to you when you try to talk about yourself.

If you were to gain weight or lose those looks, who’s to say that they would still be interested in you? Chances are, he’d leave.

RELATED: Why You Keep Falling For Guys Who Don't Love You Back

4.  People have a history of being used (then thrown away) by him.

If he uses other people for his own financial or social gain, who’s to say he won’t do the same with you?

You should never expect to be an exception when it comes to guys’ behavior. If the people that he surrounds himself with are people he wants to use, then he’s going to use you, too.

5. He’s got really bizarre views on dating that have no roots in reality.

A lot of men view love as a transaction, and that’s really not healthy. Men who have this transactional thinking tend to believe that every man is entitled to a girl and that buying dinner means that they are now entitled to sex.

Unfortunately, this kind of a disconnect makes it impossible for guys to actually see women as people. He can’t love you if he can’t see you as the person you are.

6. He sends unsolicited pictures.

Men who do this don’t see women as people because, if they did, they’d have more respect for themselves than to show them a photo like this out of the blue.

Ninety-nine percent of guys know that girls don’t like this. The ones that still do it just don’t care, and that means he’s incapable of empathy and is too selfish to care about manners.

RELATED: 10 Signs A Person Is Incapable Of Loving Someone

7. He’s very self-centered.

There are a lot of things that being selfish can be good for, but love isn’t one of them.

Having dated a lot of selfish men, I can tell you that guys who only care for themselves are men who will basically expect you to be an accessory in his life rather than a partner. And with guys like this, once they decide you’re “out of season,” they’ll stop caring to keep up the relationship.

8. He refuses to take blame for anything that he did wrong. 

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This just means he’s a bad person and he’s got problems you don’t want to touch. It also means that he’s incapable of the loving gesture of admitting he’s wrong when he actually is wrong.

9. He makes a point of telling you that he won’t be good to you. 

I’ve tried to date men who straight-up said they didn’t want to be in committed relationships, that they would cheat on me, and that they would hurt me.

Speaking from experience, I should have listened to their warning. When a man warns you about himself, listen.

10. There’s always an excuse.

He bailed on his pregnant baby mama because he “was too young to take that responsibility on.” He cheated on his ex because “she let go of herself.” He hit that one girl “because she deserved it.”

Men capable of love don’t make excuses for horrible behavior, because they don’t behave horribly. 

RELATED: 12 Sad Signs You're Emotionally Damaged & Are Too Broken To Love

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Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey. She writes primarily about lifestyle, food, finance, and relationships. You can follow her Twitter.

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Not everything is given! 3 types of men who do not know how to love

Psychology of relationships

There are several categories of people who are not capable of love. Most often, they use partners to achieve their goals. A meeting with a similar type on the path of life often turns into not just torment, but also therapy by a psychotherapist.

What kind of men they are, unable to love, let's find out with our expert, the founder of the dating club "Classic Relationships", Olga Romaniv.

Founder and head of the Classics of Relationship dating club, writer

First of all, people who are alien to such a feeling as love include people with borderline personality disorders - antisocial and narcissistic.

Revealing that a man has a personality disorder is not easy when meeting.

All these three types, especially people suffering from narcissism, often have remarkable charm and good mental abilities. Such people are not capable of emotional empathy. Therefore, from childhood, they learn to rationally calculate strategies that help to charm others. And only after a while you will feel that you were used, but not loved.

Selfless love alone is sometimes not enough!

Getty Images

The main characteristics of pathological individuals with antisocial disorder include:

  1. high self-esteem

  2. Inability to sympathy, unwillingness to enter into someone else's position

  3. A tendency to manipulate

  4. Lack of remorse about their actions

  5. Manifestation of cruelty, outbreaks of anger, unmotivated aggression

  6. 9000 9000 9000 9000 in the center of attention in any companies

  7. pathological deceit

  8. use of any means to achieve one's goals, disregard for moral standards and even laws

  9. everyday "vampirism" and provoking conflicts for self-affirmation

  10. desire to benefit from everything, including relations with a woman (including material)

  11. lack of desire to take responsibility for relationships, woman, family, their actions, etc.

Beware of charming scoundrels, romance with such is only good in the movies ...

Getty Images

Often people with antisocial disorder abuse alcohol and forbidden substances.

As a rule, attempts to build relationships with such individuals lead to serious mental problems.

Living with a person for whom sympathy, empathy, empathy is an empty phrase is not easy.

In addition, most of us are arranged in such a way that in response to the manifestation of love, we want to see something similar from a partner. We are hurt by the neglect of our feelings and parasitism on us, including financially.

Therefore, having met an unscrupulous but charming bastard on your life path, you need to run away from him as fast as you can. You should not try to prove to the whole world and to yourself in particular that love can work miracles and conquer anything.

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1. He tends to blame others

A person who lives without love tends to blame others for the problems that arise - while he does not want to notice his mistakes and take responsibility. He views situations and interpersonal relationships solely through the prism of his own benefit.

2. Not ready to take responsibility for his mistakes

As we have already said, one who cannot truly love is not capable of taking responsibility for his mistakes. He almost does not notice his own misdeeds, does not know how to compromise and always stubbornly insists on his own. This is logical: if a person is so limited that he is not able to love even himself, how can he see his mistakes? He won't even try.

3. Constantly looking for excuses

A closely related symptom: not being able to admit their mistakes, such people come up with various excuses for their behavior. For example: “Don’t be offended, I just drank too much” or “All because you constantly annoy me!” Is he so irritated that he loses his human form? Weak excuse!

4. Easily rejects people

Without any hesitation, he gets rid of things that are no longer useful or interesting, and boring relationships can often be on this list. He is indifferent to the feelings of another person, because the most important thing is his own benefit and pleasure.

5. Doesn't want to change

Since a person far from love is unable to see his problems, he sees no point in any changes either.

6. Not ready for communication

Due to his inability to love, as well as his general closeness and narrow-mindedness, he rarely dares to speak frankly. Such a person accumulates resentment and discontent inside himself until the pressure of negative emotions becomes unbearable. And then there is an explosion.

7. He moves away from the partner

Because of the partner's emotional closeness, you most likely do not realize it right away. And then, while you are trying to somehow save the relationship, he will move away from you more and more.

8. Unhappy

People who are unable to love are often unhappy. And the real reason for their unhappiness is that they simply do not know themselves.

9. Egocentric

The life of a person who does not know how to love is arranged simply: everything revolves around him, his desires and interests. He is not ready to understand himself and share. He only wants to take, take, take...



Such a person is rarely distinguished by broad-mindedness and flexibility of thinking. Rather, on the contrary: he is prone to prejudice and negative stereotypes.

11. He worries about what they think of him

The approval of others is more important to him than the needs and needs of his partner.

12. Possibly suffers from emotional deprivation syndrome

This syndrome occurs due to lack of emotional support from parents in childhood. In adulthood, such a person is most often not able to maintain healthy relationships, as he does not have the emotional knowledge and skills necessary for this. He does not understand what to do, where to start, how to react...

The person has never been allowed to sort out his feelings and experiences, so he does not know what to do with them. Even if he experiences something like love, he most likely will not understand it himself.

Text: Nikolai Protsenko Photo credit: Getty Images

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