Married to a narcissist husband


15 Signs You’re Married to a Narcissist

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Published: August 18, 2022 Updated: October 12, 2022

Published: 08/18/2022 Updated: 10/12/2022

A narcissistic spouse is typically manipulative, self-centered, difficult to feel connected to, and may be verbally aggressive or abusive. Being married to a narcissist can result in low self-esteem; diminished healthy connections with others; restricted access to resources needed to leave the relationship; and mental health struggles as a result of the narcissistic abuse endured.

What Is a Narcissist?

Someone with a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) will have an overinflated ego, a lack of empathy for others, and an intense need for excessive attention and admiration from others. 1 All of this stems from having a fragile self-esteem, which can make a person explosive and hostile when criticized.

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A narcissistic spouse will primarily focus on themselves, with their secondary focus being on attaining the admiration and attention of others. They will often deploy a variety of manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively. This is done to maintain a facade worthy of praise from others, making it difficult to see or believe the signs that your partner is actually a narcissist.

Here are 15 signs you’re married to a narcissist:

1. You Don’t Feel Connected to Them

One of the foundational diagnostic criteria for NPD is a lack of empathy. 2 Human beings connect emotionally by feeling seen, heard, and understood by others, which is at the core of empathy. In place of this trait, narcissists tend to be overly charismatic, thus naturally drawing others toward them. This can feel confusing for their partners, as they may find it difficult to distinguish between narcissistic charisma and a lack of empathy.

2. You Are Gaslighted by Them

People with narcissism often gaslight their partners, which is the act of invalidating another person’s experience in order to make one question its authenticity. Narcissists gaslight others because their fragile self-esteem crumbles if their imperfections or mistakes are perceivable.3 When these mistakes can’t be hidden, narcissists will outright change the narrative to reflect a more favorable narrative for themselves.

3. They Love Bomb You

Love bombing is when someone bombards their partner with affection; strong emotions; and gifts of time, energy, or things. A narcissist uses love bombing to build a facade of intimacy and trust, so their partner will stay in the relationship. Because of this, the partner may not notice the deeper underlying problems; this in turn creates an idealized situation that the partner will attempt to pursue and re-create throughout the relationship.

4. They Hold Grudges

When a narcissist feels as though they have been slighted or insulted, all of their insecurities and deepest fears are realized. They cannot process, understand, or release internalized pain in a healthy way, so they often hold grudges and seek revenge in the future.

5. They Use Triangulation

Triangulation is when two people are having a disagreement, and a third person is brought into the argument in order to resolve the problem. Narcissistic triangulation is a manipulation tactic to ensure that only the narcissist’s viewpoint is validated. The opposing person’s perception is then invalidated, convincing the victim to question themselves and eventually abandon the argument altogether.

6. They Control You

A narcissist fears being rejected and abandoned so much that it often leads them to seek control of those around them. They may do this by restricting who you spend time with; how much money and resources you have access to; and how many decisions you are able to make for yourself before you face negative repercussions from them.

7. They Isolate You

Narcissists cannot keep up their facade of perfection forever, so they isolate their partners from loved ones that may point out their manipulative and abusive behaviors. In order to keep you from leaving, a narcissist will convince you to cut off these relationships. This may be done by the narcissist formulating lies about your loved ones, or telling you that it’s best for you to cut ties.

8. They Treat You Like a Child

Narcissists truly believe that others are less competent than they. Because of this, narcissists often use what’s called “infantilization.” They may treat you as though you were an infant or child, allowing the narcissist to take away your responsibilities, talk down to you, or limit your ability to perform simple tasks.

9. They Call You Names & Put You Down

A narcissistic person will often call their partners names or highlight their weaknesses in demeaning ways. Over time, this can convince a person that they aren’t worthy of being treated better. This often starts in small, sometimes seemingly “joking” ways, but usually builds in frequency and intensity until their partner gets used to it.

10. They Feel Impossible to Please

“Moving the goalposts” is when someone changes the rules of a situation midway through, in order to keep another from succeeding or meeting expectations. A narcissist will do this so that their partner will continue to seek their approval, allowing them to maintain a place of authority.

11. They Are Always Talking About Themselves

Because narcissists are solely focused on themselves, they will often incorrectly assume that everyone else is as interested in their thoughts, feelings, and desires as they are. They may talk about their opinions in inappropriately lengthy detail, failing to realize that others’ viewpoints deserve to be heard, too. Because of this, conversations often feel one-sided, as others are rarely permitted to contribute anything substantial to the dialogue.

12. They Never Seem Happy With Your Present Life

Another foundational diagnostic criteria for NPD is a preoccupation with fantasies about being successful, wealthy, powerful, beautiful, etc. Because they are preoccupied with the possibilities of their grand future, it may seem that they are dismissive or unappreciative of the current life you share together.

13. They Fish for Attention & Compliments

A narcissist’s lack of self-esteem keeps them from seeing the positives within themselves, keeping them reliant upon the positive input they receive from others. Because of this, a narcissistic person will often fish for compliments or ensure that all attention remains on them. They will continue to engage with those who provide them with praise and favorability. Alternatively, those who do not do so, will be treated negatively by the narcissist.

14. They Are Highly Reactive to Criticism

Comments perceived as negative or critical will feel like a direct attack to a narcissist, because it elicits the shame that is often associated with their need to outwardly project perfection.4 A partner with narcissism may lash out to conceal this sensitive aspect of themselves through denial, insults, and verbal or physical violence.

15. They Treat You Like an Object

Narcissists cannot comprehend why you are deserving of love and attention. Because they see their needs and wants as paramount, they will often completely ignore your own desires. This can result in you feeling more like a “thing” within the relationship, instead of a person.5

Marriage & Couples Online Counseling Options

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Effects of Being Married to a Narcissist

Being married to a narcissist can affect your life in a variety of ways. It can impact your relationships, self-esteem, finances, and ability to be independent. Moreover, it can lead to negative effects on your mental and physical health.

Effects of being married to a narcissist include the following:

  • Low self-esteem
  • Loss of connection with other people in your life
  • Losing a sense of your own identity and individual needs
  • Poor boundaries in all areas of your life
  • Low motivation and fatigue
  • Developing mental health concerns, such as anxiety and depression

How to Deal With a Narcissistic Partner

Living with a narcissistic partner can be incredibly difficult. However, taking steps to recognize and mitigate negative impacts can make a major difference in protecting your mental health.

Here are nine tips to cope with a narcissistic partner:

  1. Learn about Narcissism: The more you understand NPD, the easier it will be for you to recognize emotional manipulation tactics and the reasons why your partner behaves in certain ways.
  2. Set and maintain your boundaries: Boundaries are defined as the maintenance of both party’s needs with as much balance as possible. Take time to identify your needs, communicate these clearly to your partner, and restate them as often as you need to.
  3. Learn to identify manipulation tactics: Narcissists use manipulation tactics to meet their needs in a variety of ways, resulting in others being hurt by their actions. Taking time to recognize and understand manipulation tactics can help you know how to stop these unhealthy behaviors when they occur.
  4. Foster other healthy relationships: It is important to have relationships outside of your marriage, but it’s particularly important when you’re married to a narcissist. This way, you have objective input that has your best interest in mind.
  5. Don’t tolerate insults: Name-calling and insulting your partner is unhealthy and can be abusive in any relationship. Communicating that this behavior is unacceptable will help to protect your self-esteem.
  6. Don’t feed into emotional tantrums: When a narcissist lashes out, they are attempting to intimidate others into offering them the attention that they desire. If your partner is having an emotional tantrum, give them space to begin learning how to self-soothe and to break this cycle.
  7. Recognize that you are not to blame: A narcissist will treat everyone the same way; there is nothing that you have done wrong to deserve their behavior. Realize that their actions are a projection of their illness, and they have nothing to do with you.
  8. Focus on recognizing and meeting your own emotional needs: When you give in and prioritize your partner’s needs over your own, this opens the door for resentment and burnout in the relationship. Take time to recognize your own needs just as often as your partner’s.
  9. Work on acceptance: As much as you might like to, you cannot change your partner or control their actions. Trying to do so will only cause exhaustion and frustration. Accept what you can, and know that it is okay to leave the relationship if there are major issues or your partner is unwilling to work toward compromise.

What Are My Options When Married to a Narcissist?

Narcissists will often convince you that you have no options outside of the relationship, and that you can’t be trusted to make decisions on your own. This fallacy is created to protect their best interests, not yours. If your partner recognizes their fears and is willing to take responsibility for them, therapy can help improve the health of your relationship. However, due to the nature of NPD, this will rarely be the case.

The number one thing to determine is whether or not you feel safe in the relationship. This applies to a variety of areas in your life – your physicality, emotional well-being, financial stability, and parental role. If you do not feel safe in any of these areas, it may be time to consider what an exit plan from the relationship might look like.

When & How a Therapist Can Help

When considering professional help, individual therapy will likely be best for both you and your partner. Couples counseling is generally advised against when one member is actively abusing and manipulating the other. This being because what is covered during a session will likely be used against the victim later on.

When looking for an individual therapist, it is important to ask if the professional has experience and training with survivors of narcissistic abuse. Because this type of abuse can take many forms, having the support of a therapist who can help highlight the ways that a narcissist might twist or manipulate a situation is beneficial. In turn, you’ll be better equipped to ground yourself in reality, begin to trust yourself again, and heal from narcissistic abuse. Finding a therapist using an online directory is a great way to get started.

Final Thoughts

Being married to a narcissist is challenging and can impact you in a multitude of ways. Recognize the ways in which your partner is affecting you, validate your needs and wants, nurture other healthy relationships, and make sure you’re getting the support you need. Remind yourself that it is not your job to change your partner; instead, advocate for your needs and be sure to take care of yourself.

Additional Resources

Education is just the first step on our path to improved mental health and emotional wellness. To help our readers take the next step in their journey, Choosing Therapy has partnered with leaders in mental health and wellness. Choosing Therapy may be compensated for referrals by the companies mentioned below.

BetterHelp Online TherapyBetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $60 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you. Get Started

Talkspace Online Therapy – Online therapy is convenient with Talkspace. Get therapy for as little as $69 per week, or potentially much less if you have insurance from Cigna, Optum, or UHR. Try Talkspace

Choosing Therapy’s DirectoryFind an experienced therapist who is committed to your wellbeing. You can search for a therapist by specialty, availability, insurance, and affordability. Therapist profiles and introductory videos provide insight into the therapist’s personality so you find the right fit. Find a therapist today.

Online Psychiatry & Medication – Answer a few questions and Talkspace will match you with an online prescriber and get schedule a video psychiatry session. Your online psychiatry prescriber will personalize your treatment, which may include psychiatric medication and follow-ups. Get started for $249 or see if your insurance is one of many Talkspace accepts. Learn More

Mindfulness & Meditation App Headspace is an easy way to incorporate mindfulness and meditation into your routine. See for yourself how a few minutes each day can impact your stress levels, mood, and sleep. A monthly subscription for Headspace is only $12.99 per month and comes with a 7-day free trial. Try Headspace

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for referrals by BetterHelp, Talkspace, and Headspace

Additional Resources

Education is just the first step on our path to improved mental health and emotional wellness. To help our readers take the next step in their journey, Choosing Therapy has partnered with leaders in mental health and wellness. Choosing Therapy may be compensated for referrals by the companies mentioned below.

BetterHelp (Online Therapy) – BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $60 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you. Get Started

Online-Therapy.com – The Online-Therapy. com standard plan includes a weekly 45 minute video session, unlimited text messaging between sessions, and self-guided activities like journaling. Recently, they added Yoga videos. Get Started

Headspace (Meditation App) – Headspace is the leading mindfulness and meditation app with over 70 million members. Headspace offers guidance and exercises for all skill levels, including beginners. Free Trial

Choosing Therapy’s Directory – Find an experienced therapist who is committed to your wellbeing. You can search for a therapist by specialty, availability, insurance, and affordability. Therapist profiles and introductory videos provide insight into the therapist’s personality so you find the right fit. Find a therapist today.

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for referrals by Circles, BetterHelp, Online-Therapy.com, and Headspace

For Further Reading

  • Mental Health America
  • National Alliance on Mental Health
  • MentalHealth. gov

5 sources

Choosing Therapy strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.

  • Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research. (November 18, 2017). Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Mayo Clinic. Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662

  • American Psychiatric Association, (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.) Arlington VA: American Psychiatric Publishing.

  • Casale, S., Rugai, L., Fioravanti, G., & Puccetti, C. (2018). Narcissism and authentic self: An unfeasible marriage? Personality and Individual Differences, 135, 131–136. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2018.07.008

  • Tracy, J. L., Cheng, J. T., Martens, J. P., & Robbins, R. W. (2011). The Emotional Dynamics of Narcissism: Inflated by Pride, Deflated by Shame. In THE HANDBOOK OF NARCISSISM AND NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER: Theoretical Approaches, Empirical Findings, and Treatments (pp. 330–343). Essay.

  • Määttä, M., Uusiautti, S., & Määttä, K. (2012). An intimate relationship in the shadow of narcissism: What is it like to live with a narcissistic spouse? International Journal of Research Studies in Psychology, 1(1). https://doi.org/10.5861/ijrsp.2012.v1i1.28

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9 Signs You’re Married To A Narcissist—And What To Do About It

It’s not that there are no red flags that signal narcissism during dating, it’s that many of the tell-tale traits of narcissism become more pronounced after getting hitched. “With marriage—and parenthood—there’s more interdependence, more demands,” says Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., author of Should I Stay or Should I Go: How to Survive a Relationship with a Narcissist. “And that often doesn’t play well with an egocentric narcissist.” Could your dearly beloved, in fact, be a narcissist? Here are some signs to clue you in.

The 9 Signs You Married A Narcissist

Some of the same things that attracted you to your partner, such as confidence, assertiveness, and a big personality, may actually be the same characteristics that fuel their narcissism. Not all of the signs are obvious either, and some may have you wondering if you're the problem, not them.

#1: You Feel Isolated

Drifting apart from some friends after a big life change (marriage! babies!) happens to everyone, but if your life is now rife with severed ties, it’s time to pause and reassess. “After marriage, narcissists often isolate their spouses from their friends through a slow and methodical process,” says Cristina Dorazio, Ph. D., a psychologist who provides both individual and couples therapy in New York City. Your significant other may go out of his way, for instance, to make an argument as to why he doesn’t like your friend. (Bad-mouthing others is a very common narcissistic behavior, notes research in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.) “They can be very good at this, even making you start to question why you were ever friends in the first place,” says Dorazio. This is especially true for friends who are “on to” your narcissist spouse’s behavior.

#2: You're Being Gaslighted

Why can’t you take a joke? I never said that! Why are you always so angry? You’re being paranoid. Why can’t you let go of the past? No one will ever love you like I do. These questions and phrases are often standard issue with narcissists. “This is all part of gaslighting,” says Durvasula. Here, an individual uses words or behavior to cause you to doubt and confuse your own reality. “I have never seen a narcissistic marriage in which gaslighting did not happen,” says Durvasula.

#3: Praise Looks Like This

Before you were married, there’s a good chance your now-spouse heaped on the flattery. (Narcissists know how to woo.) After the I Dos, however, that often shifts dramatically. Now, the compliments may only arrive when you are in the company of others. “This allows the narcissist to look like a great husband in front of other people and contradicts any complaints you might share about him later,” says Dorazio. Another flattery twist: While compliments directed to you might fizzle, a narcissist might instead lay it on thick to others in your orbit. “They do this to feed your insecurity,” says Dorazio.

#4: It Feels Like Your Partner Is Trying To Make You Jealous

Beyond praising others, a narcissist may talk glowingly about an ex or flirt with someone right in front of you. This is no accident or innocent misstep, but a strategic move designed to make you feel jealous, according to a 2017 report in the journal Personality and Individual Differences. Beyond stoking your own insecurity, researchers note that narcissists do this in order to wield control and/or to buoy their self-esteem.

#5: There's This Jealousy, Too

Jealousy is not an uncommon reaction when a baby joins a narcissist’s family, says Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D., professor and chair of the department of counseling and higher education at Northern Illinois University in DeKalb. “Narcissistic partners can become resentful of the time you invest in childcare, so he might begin to insist that you focus more attention on the marriage than the child.” This, however, is not universal. Some narcissists, in fact, dramatically shift their focus solely on the baby. “These narcissists may see the child as an extension of themselves, so they co-opt the child, leaving you on the sidelines in terms of attention and family involvement,” says Degges-White.

#6: Your Parenting Skills Are Criticized

“Narcissists often blame any perceived ‘bad’ behavior of their children on their spouse’s lack of parenting skills,” says Dorazio. Adding insult to injury, narcissists are often not as involved as their spouse in raising children in the first place—and they often use their career as an excuse to bow out of responsibilities. “In fact, if the narcissistic husband is the sole provider or earns more money in the marriage, they’ll often use that as a counterargument to not taking care of the children,” says Dorazio.

#7: They “Confide” In Your Family

Narcissists are, by definition, self-involved folks who lack empathy. So it’s no shock that you’d likely turn to your support system to complain and commiserate about this type of behavior. The catch? Knowing very well that you’d likely do this, a narcissist may talk to your family and friends before you get the chance to. “A narcissist may say he’s concerned that you’re a bit ‘off’ lately,” says Dorazio. “Because, if he confides about your problematic behavior first, he takes the heat off himself.”

#8: The Signature “Love Bombs” Dwindle

When dating, you were likely overwhelmed with signs of adoration, like constant love notes, flower deliveries and surprise gifts. (This is what it feels like to be swept off your feet, you thought!) After marriage, however—_poof—_it all stops. “You’ve been conquered through marriage, so courting with ‘love bombs’ is no longer needed,” says Dorazio, noting that these extravagant displays can often return, however, but only when your spouse wants something from you. “For example, if you’re surprised with a trip, you may be expected to show your gratitude in a very specific way, like dressing a certain way while on the trip or being available for sex whenever your spouse wants,” says Dorazio.

#9: They Admit It!

A study of more than 2,200 people found it’s actually pretty easy to ID narcissists. You simply need to ask them the following: To what extent do you agree with this statement: "I am a narcissist." And you need to define “narcissist” at the same time, noting that it means egotistical, self-focused and vain. Researchers relayed that the reason this works is that those who are narcissists are almost proud of it.

How To Deal With Your Narcissist

“Narcissists typically don’t perceive their behavior as a problem. Instead, they feel that they’re perfectly fine and others have problems,” notes Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D., professor and chair of the department of counseling and higher education at Northern Illinois University in DeKalb. That doesn’t mean that there’s no hope. Here some tips on wading the treacherous waters.

  1. Argue this way. Narcissist cannot be wrong, making arguing with them close to impossible. “So it’s smart to find a way to convince your partner that the ‘right answer’ or the ‘right thing to do’ was their idea,” says Degges-White. “This way, you can compliment them on what a great idea they had to solve the issue.”

  2. Ignore insults. Insults are bait. A narcissist wants you to take them, react to them, and engage in a fight. But if you refuse to play, a fight can’t happen.

  3. Ask yourself questions. It’s likely a good idea to reflect on any unconscious reasons you may have chosen to be with a narcissist. (A therapist is great at helping you navigate this.) Once you start to understand your motivation, you’ll have more clarity as to what you need.

  4. Foster other healthy relationships. Turn to friends, family, a therapist—any supportive individual who can offer you the respect and sounding board to help with your emotional health.

Being married to a narcissist isn't always a picnic. The very traits that attracted you to the person are often the ones that can make the relationship super-difficult. For more information about narcissism, read this.

  • What you say about others could point to your own narcissism: Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2010. “Perceiver Effects as Projective Tests: What Your Perceptions of Others Say about You.” https://digitalcommons.unl.edu/
  • Why narcissists spark jealousy: Personality and Individual Differences. 2017. “Do narcissists try to make romantic partners jealous on purpose? An examination of motives for deliberate jealousy-induction among subtypes of narcissism.” https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Gregory_Tortoriello/publication/315693591_Do_narcissists_try_to_make_romantic_partners_jealous_on_purpose_An_examination_of_motives_for_deliberate_jealousy-induction_among_subtypes_of_narcissism/links/59d4ceed4585150177fc820f/Do-narcissists-try-to-make-romantic-partners-jealous-on-purpose-An-examination-of-motives-for-deliberate-jealousy-induction-among-subtypes-of-narcissism.pdf
  • How to ID a narcissist: American Psychological Association. 2016. “Speaking of Psychology:Recognizing a narcissist” https://www.apa.org/research/action/speaking-of-psychology/narcissism
  • Are you a narcissist?: PLOS One. 2014. “Development and Validation of the Single Item Narcissism Scale (SINS).” https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone. 0103469

Notes: This article was originally published July 10, 2020 and most recently updated May 12, 2022.

Holly Pevzner

Holly is a self-described "slipper-wearer; Brooklyn-dweller; slow-cooker addict; and mom to two human rascals." She writes about parenting, pregnancy, health, nutrition, and family travel. Holly started her career as a magazine editor and spent years at several glossies, including Self, Prevention, and Fitness magazines. Now, as a freelancer, she works as a contributing editor at Scholastic Parent & Child, writes the family health column for First for Women, and regularly contributes sponsored, social, and traditional content to brands, pubs, and websites such as The Bump, Everyday Health, and Fisher-Price.

You married a narcissist. What to do next? | Lifestyle

Saving a marriage can be a difficult task even under the best of circumstances, but if one of the partners suffers from a mental disorder, the difficulties in living together only increase. If you are married to someone you truly love and they turn out to be a narcissist, it's important to figure out what to do next.

Personality disorder

Almost all of us have one or two qualities that are inherent in narcissists. But narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a common pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.

Before a mental health professional can diagnose a disorder, at least five supporting criteria are required, such as a desire for unlimited power and success, a need for extreme admiration, and exploitative behavior. However, it can be very painful to experience the complexities of living with a narcissist, given their excessive self-centeredness and lack of concern for your feelings.

How to understand that you are married to a narcissist

Marriage with a person who has a narcissistic personality disorder is not an easy test. Few people manage to live on the same territory with such a person and feel like one with him. Therefore, before you decide what to do about it, it is very important to understand whether your spouse really suffers from this disorder or just acts like a scoundrel. You can solve the problem in the second case, for example, by visiting marriage counseling. But if your spouse suffers from narcissistic personality disorder, even a specialist will not help your union. Therefore, it will be wise to meet with a professional (together or alone) to make sure your assumptions about his diagnosis are correct before deciding how to handle the situation.

If you suddenly realize that you are married to a narcissist, the most important advice is not to get involved. The narcissist may start arguing with you, manipulating and shifting the blame for the quarrels onto you. Most likely, he will refuse to visit a family therapist with you, since he sincerely believes that his behavior is in order and it is you who provoke him to adverse actions.

What to do if your husband is a narcissist

Psychologists say that people with narcissistic personality disorder have a deep need to control others, especially loved ones, and they tend to justify their behavior, no matter how much harm it brings to others. But if you start behaving like a narcissistic husband (for example, cheating on him and staying late at work), he will say that you are to blame for everything.

Learning to set boundaries with a narcissist is key, as trying to get them to have an honest and frank conversation can be ineffective and often impossible. As soon as you get into an argument with such a person, you give him the opportunity to manipulate you in order to prove his own point of view. Therefore, it is worth making it clear to your husband that you have boundaries and you are ready to break off relations if he crosses them. People with narcissistic personality disorder like to argue, but if you don't give in to it, he won't be able to continue his line of behavior and he won't have a chance to get back at you.

How to handle a conflict

If you have a conflict with a narcissistic spouse, you should give yourself time to calm down, cool down and not react to attempts to involve you in a quarrel. It is best to leave the "war zone" and not even respond to calls and messages. Tell him that you will call back when you are ready to talk. With a narcissist, it is important to be able to restore balance and not compromise your ability to control the situation.

Breaking up a relationship is a difficult choice

If you decide that your marriage can no longer be saved, you should proceed with caution. The main thing not to do is tell the narcissist about your intentions to end the relationship. This advice may seem counterintuitive, but once you voice your desire to file for divorce, one of two scenarios awaits you. The narcissist will either start bombarding you with affection and affection to keep you emotionally trapped in the relationship, or else his behavior will become even more toxic. Your husband will try to harm your overall well-being, physical security, or reputation, and sometimes both. Why take the risk?

What is important to do first

Therefore, the first thing to do if you decide to end your relationship with a narcissist is to analyze which areas of your life he controls. Are you financially dependent on your husband? Perhaps all this time he did not allow you to keep in touch with family and friends, and now you need to renew these relationships in order to receive support if necessary? Or do you need to take better care of yourself in order to find the strength to walk away from him? Analyzing where your narcissist husband occupies in your life will allow you to fill it with healthy positive people and deeds.

No matter what plan of action in dealing with a narcissistic husband is right for you, you will still need the support of loved ones and care for yourself. And if your narcissistic spouse is abusive in any way, it may be time to evaluate whether this marriage is important to you. Is it worth it to continue to endure all the antics, manipulations and threats of a narcissistic husband, or is it better to end a painful relationship? Why waste your life on a person who hurts you?

11 signs that you are married to a narcissist

Are you married to a narcissist? It is very easy to fall into the narcissist's web. They are supremely charming, confident, talented, charismatic and successful.

They can easily engage you in an exciting conversation, shower you with attention and compliments. It is only when you become attached to them that they reveal their true nature to you.

By the way, if you do not know how to part with a narcissist or, perhaps, improve your relationship with him, then we advise you to make an appointment with a psychologist. A specialist will tell you how to get rid of a toxic relationship.

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Are you married to a daffodil? 11 Easy Ways to Know for Sure

If you've ever been in a sexual or romantic relationship with a narcissist, you may have already figured out that they're more interested in sex and pleasure than actual emotional intimacy.

Narcissists and those diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are more likely to flirt and leave their partners than people who consider important parts of the relationship. Also, narcissists have a heightened sense of sexuality, but they tend to view sex in a very different way than other people.

They view sexuality more in terms of power, influence, in contrast to people with low narcissistic qualities, who associate sex more with care and love. This is why some narcissists tend to bounce from one relationship to another, and more often than not, relationships don't last long and don't involve a lot of emotional intimacy. Even when they are in a relationship, they are always looking for other, more profitable partners.

Whether this is the reason for their heightened sexuality or the fact that they think that multiple partners increase their self-esteem is not entirely clear. Narcissists are always on the lookout for the best deal even in relationships. Narcissists usually have an inflated sense of self and they expect others to admire and care for them. They often develop an oversized ego and can be very charming if they choose to.

Here are 11 behaviors that are common in narcissists and sociopaths. They are as follows:

1. You feel like you're the one doing most of the "work" in the relationship.

2. Your partner does something to sabotage the relationship and keep it from moving forward, but doesn't want to let you go.

3. Your partner may have a history of problematic relationships and/or addictions.

4. Your partner has episodes of excessive and often unjustified anger, sometimes even infidelity, and he views this as your fault.

5. You feel emotionally tired, often completely exhausted by how hard you have to work to make your partner happy.

6. Relationships are mainly focused on the interests and activities of your partner.

7. You feel that your partner's mood controls or manipulates you to the point where you may feel like you are walking on thin ice all the time, being his slave or his whims.

8. You find an explanation for each of his bad behavior or actions.

9. Your partner may make unilateral decisions that affect your safety and well-being.


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