Life with anxiety disorder

Living With Anxiety | Tips for Managing Life With Anxiety Disorder

Anxiety symptoms can interfere with work, school and relationships. Learn what it is like to live with anxiety along with management tips.

Although everyone experiences anxiety at some point, persistent or excessive stress, worry or fear can interfere with daily life. When living with anxiety, symptoms can interfere with one’s career, education and personal relationships. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the country, affecting 40 million adults in the United States. Living with an anxiety disorder means everyday anxiety does not go away and can worsen over time. Understanding life with anxiety, including identifying triggers and developing coping strategies, is critical to successfully managing this common and challenging condition.

What Does Anxiety Feel Like?

Anxiety feels different for everyone and includes both physical and psychological symptoms. Anxiety can be debilitating, especially when it triggers panic attacks. Individuals dealing with anxiety may live in fear of daily activities and feel as if their anxiety dominates their lives. In some cases, people may use substances such as drugs or alcohol to self-medicate their anxiety symptoms. However, substance use can worsen anxiety and lead to addiction.

Physical anxiety symptoms include:

Rapid heartbeat
Insomnia
Teeth grinding
Nausea
Sweating
Shortness of breath
Dizziness
Headache

Psychological anxiety symptoms include:

Inability to relax
High levels of distress
Persistent worry
Agitation
Difficulty concentrating
Excessive mental repetition of thoughts or problems

How Does Anxiety Affect Daily Life?

How anxiety interferes with daily life differs from person to person, depending on their triggers and symptoms. The fear and stress of anxiety can make even everyday tasks challenging. An individual facing anxiety may be performing their typical routine when suddenly a trigger makes them feel panicked, short of breath and nauseous. For example, an individual with social anxiety may suddenly experience intense fear and panic when asked to speak in front of a class. The terror they feel may be so severe that they are unable to speak and must quickly leave the room. Not knowing when anxiety will strike can lead to uncertainty and stress.

Some examples of how anxiety affects your life include:

Difficulty getting out of bed to attend school or work
Excessive fear of meeting new people
Trouble running routine errands
Inability to participate in a child’s school functions
Difficulty falling asleep
Struggling to focus on work tasks
Failure to make important decisions
Excessive fear of attending group gatherings
Trouble maintaining relationships
Inability to drive or fly on a plane

First-Hand Accounts of Life With Anxiety

Anxiety personal stories serve as a first-hand exploration of the daily challenges encountered by those living with anxiety and provide hope through shared successes.

For some people, anxiety feels like:

Overwhelming fear
Being hit by a ton of bricks
A see-saw
A wave

According to Kerryn, 39, “ I couldn’t function. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me.” If you struggle with anxiety, remember you are not alone. Considering joining a support group to connect with others facing similar struggles or reach out to a loved one you feel comfortable opening up to.

Tips for Managing Life With Anxiety

Managing life with anxiety can feel insurmountable at times. Fortunately, dealing with anxiety and living a happy, successful life is possible through a combination of professional help and self-help tips.

Professional anxiety management can include:

Anti-anxiety medications
Psychotherapy such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
Acupuncture

Self-help tips for managing anxiety include:

Scheduling worry time to limit its ability to dominate the day
Practicing deep breathing exercises
Exercising regularly to reduce stress
Getting adequate sleep
Limiting caffeine intake to minimize its anxiety-promoting activity
Practicing relaxation techniques such as yoga and meditation
Volunteering for an organization
Accepting loss of control
Maintaining a daily routine to reduce uncertainty

Editor – Megan Hull

Megan Hull is a content specialist who edits, writes and ideates content to help people find recovery. Read more

Medically Reviewed By – Dr. Candace Crowley, PhD

Dr. Candace Crowley received her B.S. in Biochemistry from Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo, and her Ph.D. in Immunology from UC Davis, where her thesis focused on immune modulation in childhood asthma. Read more

Anxiety and Depression Association of America. “Facts and Statistics.” Accessed August 14, 2019.

Beyond Blue. “Personal Stories: Kerryn 39.” Accessed August 14, 2019.

Anxiety and Depression Association of America. “Support Groups.” Accessed September 3, 2019.

Medical Disclaimer

The Recovery Village aims to improve the quality of life for people struggling with substance use or mental health disorder with fact-based content about the nature of behavioral health conditions, treatment options and their related outcomes. We publish material that is researched, cited, edited and reviewed by licensed medical professionals. The information we provide is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. It should not be used in place of the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare providers.

11 tips for coping with an anxiety disorder

Speaking of Health

Tuesday, July 20, 2021

Topics in this Post

Behavioral Health
Anxiety
Balance your mental and emotional health

Having occasional feelings of anxiety is a normal part of life, but people with anxiety disorders experience frequent and excessive anxiety, fear, terror and panic in everyday situations. These feelings are unhealthy if they affect your quality of life and prevent you from functioning normally.

Common symptoms of anxiety disorders include:

Feeling nervous
Feeling helpless
A sense of impending panic, danger or doom
Increased heart rate
Hyperventilation
Sweating
Trembling
Obsessively thinking about the panic trigger

These feelings of anxiety and panic can interfere with daily activities and be difficult to control. They are out of proportion to the actual danger and can cause you to avoid places or situations.

You should see your health care provider if your anxiety is affecting your life and relationships. Your provider can help rule out any underlying physical health issue before seeing a mental health professional.

While most people with anxiety disorders need psychotherapy or medications to get anxiety under control, lifestyle changes and coping strategies also can make a difference.

Here are 11 tips for coping with an anxiety disorder:

Keep physically active.
Develop a routine so that you're physically active most days of the week. Exercise is a powerful stress reducer. It can improve your mood and help you stay healthy. Start out slowly, and gradually increase the amount and intensity of your activities.
Avoid alcohol and recreational drugs.
These substances can cause or worsen anxiety. If you can't quit on your own, see your health care provider or find a support group to help you.
Quit smoking, and cut back or quit drinking caffeinated beverages.
Nicotine and caffeine can worsen anxiety.
Use stress management and relaxation techniques.
Visualization techniques, meditation and yoga are examples of relaxation techniques that can ease anxiety.
Make sleep a priority.
Do what you can to make sure you're getting enough sleep to feel rested. If you aren't sleeping well, talk with your health care provider.
Eat healthy foods.
A healthy diet that incorporates vegetables, fruits, whole grains and fish may be linked to reduced anxiety, but more research is needed.
Learn about your disorder.
Talk to your health care provider to find out what might be causing your specific condition and what treatments might be best for you. Involve your family and friends, and ask for their support.
Stick to your treatment plan.
Take medications as directed. Keep therapy appointments and complete any assignments your therapist gives. Consistency can make a big difference, especially when it comes to taking your medication.
Identify triggers.
Learn what situations or actions cause you stress or increase your anxiety. Practice the strategies you developed with your mental health provider so you're ready to deal with anxious feelings in these situations.
Keep a journal.
Keeping track of your personal life can help you and your mental health provider identify what's causing you stress and what seems to help you feel better.
Socialize.
Don't let worries isolate you from loved ones or activities.

Your worries may not go away on their own, and they may worsen over time if you don't seek help. See your health care provider or a mental health provider before your anxiety worsens. It's easier to treat if you get help early.

Learn more about anxiety management:

5, 4, 3, 2, 1: Countdown to make anxiety blast off
9 ways to tame anxiety during the COVID-19 pandemic
Addressing your mental health by identifying the signs of anxiety and depression

Siri Kabrick is a nurse practitioner in Psychiatry & Psychology in Fairmont, Minnesota.

For the safety of our patients, staff and visitors, Mayo Clinic has strict masking policies in place. Anyone shown without a mask was either recorded prior to COVID-19 or recorded in a non-patient care area where social distancing and other safety protocols were followed.

Topics in this Post

Behavioral Health
Anxiety
Balance your mental and emotional health

National Bullying Prevention Month: Educating children and ourselves

Identifying signs of anxiety and depression

Anxiety disorders: Is it really all in your head?

How to live with an anxiety disorder? Psychotherapy for GAD in the Central Medical Center "Alliance"

Anxiety disorder is a group of diseases in which pathological anxiety is the leading symptom. Unlike anxiety in a healthy person, in an anxiety disorder it is very intense; is inadequate in terms of the strength and duration of the situation that provoked it and is not amenable to self-control. To answer the question: "How to live with an anxiety disorder?" - First of all, you need to understand what a person suffering from this disease experiences.

In the case of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), anxiety is present almost constantly and is accompanied by extremely unpleasant somatic manifestations: heart palpitations, increased blood pressure, headaches, muscle spasms, tremors, etc. Various thought and sleep disorders are also integral companions of GAD.

A person in this state experiences constant mental and physical torment, becomes socially maladjusted. Even on "good days", such people experience a strong sense of guilt and oppression due to the inability to control their lives and the anxiety they bring to loved ones. The worst thing is that many do not even realize the presence of the disease, but perceive what is happening as a personal failure.

How to live with an anxiety disorder?

Generalized anxiety disorder, like most mental illnesses, does not run in a "linear" fashion. During the day, the condition fluctuates, there are even whole days when a person may feel better than usual. However, even under favorable conditions, it never goes away completely.

Trying to figure out how to live with an anxiety disorder, first of all, you need to realize that this is not just a “bad character” or a habit of “making an elephant out of a fly”, it is a disease. It cannot be controlled by an effort of will, so calls to "pull yourself together" are useless here. Moreover, trying to cope on your own, most likely, will only aggravate the situation.

Spending strength and energy on the implementation of a deliberately impossible task, a person becomes even more exhausted, and the frustration experienced due to constant failures can lead to the addition of depression and the formation of an even more serious illness. It is much more efficient and safer to seek help from a specialist who will select an individual treatment program; help create a healthier, more supportive environment for the patient and their families.

A few simple but important tips

Assistance

Speaking of GAD, it is important to note that this is a situation where not only the interaction between the doctor and the patient, but also the patient and his immediate environment is of great importance for successful treatment.

Here are a few principles that will help you communicate with someone with an anxiety disorder in a gentle yet effective way:

No need to dissuade! In a conversation with a person suffering from GAD, it is not worth broadcasting the idea that his anxiety has no basis. Usually, he himself understands this, but he cannot help himself. Such statements will only increase in him a sense of helplessness in the face of the disease and isolation from those around him.
No need to calm down! When you say to a person with an anxiety disorder, "Calm down!", you are implying that experiencing these emotions is a conscious choice. In fact, this is not so - anxiety in this situation is not amenable to volitional control.
To accept does not mean to agree. For people with an anxiety disorder, it is very important not to feel isolated. Close people can demonstrate understanding and sympathy, and at the same time disagree with the point of view of a sick person on what is happening. This can be achieved by voicing feelings but avoiding comments about the situation itself. For example: “I see you are worried. I'm really sorry this situation upsets you so much."
Don't be afraid to ask for help!

Generalized anxiety disorder is a disease that exhausts not only the patients themselves, but also their loved ones. It is especially difficult in a situation where the disease has remained unrecognized for a long time. It is the painful state of the psyche that imposes actions and emotions on a person, and not his personal qualities and character traits. Maintaining a healthy relationship against such a pathological background is very difficult. People who were once relatives to each other eventually begin to experience great difficulties in communication and mutual understanding. In such cases, psychotherapy can come to the rescue.

Individual, family or group (depending on indications) psychotherapy has established itself as a highly effective method not only at the stage of treatment itself, but also at the stage of social rehabilitation of the patient and his relatives. The mental health center "Alliance" employs highly qualified psychotherapists. Using advanced diagnostic methods, our specialists will be able to clarify the diagnosis and draw up an effective treatment plan that includes not only proven psychotherapeutic techniques, but also, if indicated, additional wellness methods.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder is a disease that completely subjugates a person’s life. It affects not only the patient himself, but also his family members. You have to fight it every day, every minute. Remember, you don't have to fight this fight alone! There are people who can help you and, working together, it is possible to significantly change your life for the better.

No, I can't "just calm down": how do I deal with my anxiety disorder

42,628

Key messages

• It is important to distinguish between anxiety and stress. Stress is a reaction to dangerous external factors or threats. With anxiety, you begin to fear the most harmless things.

• Anxiety can be hidden behind other problems, such as depression.

• Meditation, deep breathing, and relaxation techniques can help you deal with an anxiety attack.

• It is also important to isolate yourself in time, focus on something or give vent to emotions.

Last weekend I was at Dragon Con, the biggest party in Atlanta for nerds like me. On Saturday, I had to leave the event to panic, to feel the futility of my existence and to cry myself to exhaustion. Then I returned to the party. This is my life with a diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

According to the American Institute of Mental Health, anxiety disorders are a fairly broad range of illnesses. Generalized anxiety disorder is the most common.

Anxiety comes when your brain becomes afraid of ordinary things, such as socializing or paying utility bills

It is important to distinguish anxiety disorders from ordinary stress. Stress is a spontaneous fight-or-flight response to dangerous external factors or threats. Stress is normal.

Anxiety comes when your brain becomes afraid of ordinary things, such as socializing, paying utility bills, or going to work after the weekend. Anxiety activates the same parts of the brain that trigger the fight-or-flight response, and you have no control over it. This impairs your ability to make even the simplest decisions and often multiplies the problems you worry about. Here are some of the things I've learned while dealing with anxiety.

Anxiety may be hidden behind other problems

As a child, I did not often go to holidays. I haven't been to my own prom, and I haven't been to high school parties in general. This is probably why my first "going out", when I was twenty, turned out to be a nightmare. I was invited to a Halloween party. I like this holiday, so I thought I'd have a great time. But I did not know how and with whom I would have to communicate.

I was invited by a pretty girl whom I met at the cinema, but I didn't know anyone else. I was too nervous to talk to anyone, and to everyone in the audience I was a strange guy that no one knew (at least I felt like that). In the end, I hid from everyone, huddled in a chair in the farthest corner. Not my best memory. Returning home, I tried to figure out what had gone wrong and came to the conclusion that my depression was to blame. If I didn't feel so numb, I would have something to discuss with these glowing people. I was wrong: I had something to talk about with them. I loved Halloween, I was fascinated by the costumes and the music. I was just afraid to talk to anyone. My anxiety was insidiously hidden behind depression.

My depression and anxiety were two separate but intertwined problems

My depression and anxiety were actually two separate but intertwined problems. Due to depression, I avoided communication, because social connections seemed useless to me. By isolating myself, I came to the point where I didn't know how to carry on a simple conversation. Because of this, I began to feel acute anxiety when meeting new people.

I blamed depression for depriving me of the energy to connect with people, and did not realize that in addition to depression, I have a separate problem - social anxiety disorder, which requires completely different strategies and treatments.

The relationship between mental health problems is not always clear. If you have a cold, you know the symptoms. Anxiety disorders can occur alone or in combination with other diseases.

The American Anxiety and Depression Association notes that anxiety disorders may accompany other psychiatric or physiological conditions such as eating disorders, sleep disorders, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), chronic pain, and even prolonged stress. In my case, anxiety turned out to be something of a bonus for a loyal customer.

You can't 'just calm down', but you can try

The most disliked words of those with anxiety disorders are variations on 'just calm down'. We can't "just calm down". And if they could, it would not be an anxiety disorder. I heard "just calm down" so many times that those words made me furious.

At the very beginning of my writing career, I lived in a hostel. One day someone wrote a vicious comment on my blog. It's generally considered normal to worry about such things, but I was in such unbearable pain that I began to sob out loud over the kitchen sink. A friend asked if I should go to my room to calm down. In response, I yelled that I couldn’t calm down, that he couldn’t even imagine what it was like to be in constant stress (which, of course, is complete nonsense, but I really felt like that at the time).

I screamed that everything was terrible and nothing good would ever happen in my life

I lamented my worthless writing skills and vowed never to write again. I screamed that everything was terrible and nothing good would ever happen in my life. Finally I collapsed on the floor in the middle of the kitchen and burst into sobs. My friend, to his credit, stayed with me until I started breathing normally.

The word "calm down" still irritates me, but the kitchen scene helped me realize that my friend didn't deserve to be treated like that - he was trying to help me. Moreover, he correctly identified that I needed to find a safer place where I could deal with my anxiety. “Just calm down” isn’t bad advice in and of itself, it just doesn’t work for people with anxiety disorders. An ordinary person can “just calm down” by making a deep entrance, counting to ten, or mentally transporting himself to a corner of paradise. But for us it is not.

Practicing relaxation trains the brain not to dismiss the “calm down” option as alien

However, it is also important for us to teach our body to respond differently to anxiety, as it leads to an increase in heart rate, rapid breathing and muscle tension. It is worth learning the techniques of meditation, deep breathing and relaxation and practicing them every day, regardless of the level of anxiety. Practices should not be expected to have an immediate effect, and they will not solve problems once and for all. Anxiety disorders require qualified medical intervention.

Despite this, by practicing relaxation, we train the brain not to dismiss the "calm down" option as alien. Part of the problem with anxiety disorders is that we can't move from a state of fear to a state of calm. But the more we practice relaxation techniques, the more natural this state becomes. I have learned from experience that even if “calm down” is not something I can tell myself to do, it is still an indication that I am having an anxiety attack and something needs to be done.

Anxiety has a terrible habit of popping up when you least expect it. When I'm on the edge of my emotions and I start freaking out and panicking, if someone tells me to "calm down", I know it's time to act decisively. Of course, I don't count to ten, I just get out of the situation and have an attack until my anxiety subsides.

Make a plan to deal with seizures

Once, when guests came to my hostel friend, I had an anxiety attack. I no longer remember what caused it - perhaps it started without a reason.

While I was sitting alone in my room, I began to hyperventilate. I was frightened: the attack was more serious than usual - but my fright only aggravated the situation. I couldn't call for help because I was barely breathing. Eventually I managed to push the chair against the door and it broke with a bang. This attracted the attention of a friend and his guests. One of them called an ambulance, which scared me even more, and the attack intensified. Later we discussed what to do in similar situations in the future.

Anxiety disorder can present in many ways, but a seizure management plan can help

The alarm is inconvenient. If an attack happens when you are alone, it is scary. When anxiety strikes you in public places, your behavior during an attack can cause misunderstanding of others and lead to problems. An anxiety disorder can present in many ways, but a seizure management plan can help.

It is important to remember that severe anxiety attacks last about 10 minutes, rarely up to 30 minutes. Some people experience difficulty breathing, others endure sudden stress. In most cases, the attack goes away on its own.

What helps with seizures

Interrupt the situation: if you can control the situation, try to pause. Postpone the discussion if you are in the middle of a difficult conversation. Do not continue to quarrel with your loved one. Pull over to the side of the road if you are driving.
Isolate yourself from the source of stress: try to retire to a quiet place for at least a short time.
Focus on something else: this can be tricky due to the nature of anxiety attacks that cause you to fixate on terrible thoughts, but it's still very helpful. If you distract yourself and your thoughts from the subject of anxiety, your body will return to normal faster.
Alternative: release emotions. Shout. Cry. Sometimes, when anxiety overwhelms you, you need to let it out. Soon your body will be tired: it cannot be in a state of tension forever, and certainly not after five minutes of screaming.

This method is not suitable for every situation. If you are having trouble breathing or are in a public place, this is not the best way to go. But if you're alone, it can help you deal with your emotions quickly.

Your problems are usually not with other people

Like most of the world's population, my first romantic relationships were terrible. Now I understand that in many ways it was my fault. My childhood was not typical or normal, and it made me feel rejected and bitter. Naturally, when I first had a girlfriend, I perceived her as my personal source of approval and support. We went to college together in the directing department. One day my friend suggested going to a local film festival. The very idea of going to a noisy crowded place and "meeting new people" sounded terrifying. But I decided, counting on the fact that my girlfriend will support me in difficult times.

I was unable to handle the situation. I did not communicate with anyone and eventually told my girlfriend that I would be waiting for her in the car. She asked how I felt, we talked a little, but she left me alone in the car to "rest" and went back to the festival.

The reason for our disagreement was that I did not resist my anxiety disorder.

I felt abandoned and betrayed. How could she leave me alone? When we got home, we had a big fight. After that, our relationship did not last long. It is now clear to me that the reason for our disagreement was that I did not fight back against my anxiety disorder. It wasn't my friend's fault that I was anxious, and blaming her only made the problem worse. The worst consequence of such accusations is that it alienates us from people who want to help.

This was a good lesson for me. I thought that the reason for my problems was in the people around me, and I found excuses for myself: “my friend is insensitive”, “my girlfriend doesn’t give a damn about me.” When anxiety overwhelms you, the ability to soberly assess the situation comes to naught.

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