I want a man who wants me

How to Find a Man Who Loves You | Dating Coach

Have you ever dated a man who fulfilled every quality on your mental checklist?

* He’s tall.

* He’s cute.

* He’s intelligent.

* He’s successful.

* He’s funny.

* He’s kind.

The feeling you get when you’re around this guy is amazing; you might even call it love.

In fact, let’s call it love.

Yes, let’s say that you are completely in love with this amazing man. To you, he is virtually flawless. And who am I to argue?

There’s only one nagging issue:

This man doesn’t love you back.

Time to let go of that man who has a hold on you, even though he doesn’t make any effort to make you feel special. Until you do, you’re emotionally hung up, and preventing yourself from finding true love — the kind where a man actually GIVES to you.

There’s no reason to wait for something that’s not happening.

The man who doesn’t love you the way you love him is WORTHLESS.

Don’t feel alone. Your condition is universal. Thousands of songs have been written about unrequited love, and they all have the same unhappy ending.

I’m just asking you to think about YOUR unrequited love.

Maybe he’s a co-worker whom you’ve had a crush on for the longest time.

Maybe he’s a friend who you’ve secretly been falling for.

Maybe he’s even your boyfriend — the man who’s been with you for 6 months.

Doesn’t matter.

The man who doesn’t love you the way you love him is WORTHLESS.

You KNOW you’re not getting as much love as you’re giving, but you put up with it anyway.

Why?

Because, to you, it beats the alternative: breaking up with him, feeling sad, and going back to the dating pool once again.

So even though you’re with a man who is essentially using you, you’re okay with it. Or you blind yourself to it, and pretend it’s not happening.

Oh, it’s happening.

Every day you spend with a man who doesn’t love you as you love him, you’re playing it safe, you’re playing it scared, and you’re wasting your precious time.

Somehow, you would rather give your love to a man who has no intentions of marrying you …than to free yourself up to search for the man who WILL one day marry you.

Doesn’t that sound just a bit “off” to you?

Sorry, but life is too short to spend getting the short end of the relationship stick.

It’s like a guy pining for that same woman who thinks of him as “just a friend” — spending years getting close to her, in hopes that one day, she changes her mind about him. If that man were your best friend, you’d tell him to move on to a woman who appreciated why he was amazing, instead of steadfastly waiting for her to recognize that he’s been the man of her dreams all along.

I love John Hughes and Judd Apatow movies, but that sweet, nerdy guy usually DOESN’T get the class princess, and should probably find the sweet, nerdy girl who thinks he’s amazing, wouldn’t you agree?

And that’s the unfortunate part about dating — it often creates a power dynamic that is unhealthy. You undoubtedly recognize it.

You like the man who is more unavailable. You respect him more. He’s more challenging. And yet you never know where you stand with him.

When you find the guy who instantly communicates to you that you’re the woman of his dreams, it’s way too easy. He bores you. He’s not challenging enough.

It works the same way for men. The woman who declares her love on date 1 will scare the hell out of him. The woman who makes him work for it a little bit will be the one who wins his heart.

As a result, you have this push-pull dynamic in dating where you’re supposed to be available, but not too available. Flirty but not too easy. Authentic but not saying everything on your mind. Relationship-oriented but not pushing for commitment too soon.

No wonder dating is so difficult!

You’ve probably heard that old adage that tells women to find a man who loves you more than you love him.

The idea behind this is not to create an unequal relationship where he praises the ground you walk on and you have absolutely no respect for him.

No, the idea behind “find a man who loves you more” is really about ensuring that he’s truly devoted to you.

And, if you’re like many of my amazing women clients, you always end up with really impressive men…who don’t make a really impressive effort to be devoted.

Sorry, but life is too short to spend getting the short end of the relationship stick.

My client, Melissa, is a thirtysomething doctor in South Florida. She came to me two months ago, burned out on dating, frustrated by Match.com, confused about what role she played in all of the frustrating results she was getting.

She kept ending up with attractive, fit, charismatic men who didn’t make her feel attractive, didn’t make her feel safe, didn’t make her feel loved.

Two months into coaching, she’s got a new boyfriend. They met on Match and have been together for about a month. He’s already cooked her dinner, brought her chicken soup when she got the flu, and stuck by her when her father had to go to the hospital.

Yet THAT’s the man that you very often lose respect for: the guy who treats you well, the guy who is emotionally available, the guy who earnestly tries to win you over.

He’s devoted, in every sense of the word.

It’s clear, from his actions, that he feels like HE’s the lucky one — and he’s doing everything in his power to prove to her that he’s worthy.

THAT’s the man you want in your life.

Yet THAT’s the man that you very often lose respect for: the guy who treats you well, the guy who is emotionally available, the guy who earnestly tries to win you over.

It’s not nearly as exciting as the man who keeps you on your toes because you never know where you stand. His very UNavailability is part of what makes him so attractive.

But boy, is it unfulfilling to invest so much time in a man who doesn’t give you the security you deserve.

The moral of the story is NOT to find some wishy-washy guy who puts you on a pedestal. Believe me, I appreciate it if you’re uncomfortable finding a man who loves you more.

Feel free to take off the last word if you want.

Just promise me you’ll “find a man who loves you”…not just a man whom you love.

It’s possible — but it takes an effort to do things differently. You’re not alone.

How to Make a Man Want Me and ONLY Me?

Deep down, it’d feel nice to have a man desire you and ONLY you forever, wouldn’t it?

Does it sometimes feel to you like men are just not satisfied with one woman?

Do you fear that perhaps he feels attraction for other women even whilst he’s in a committed, long-term relationship with you?

There’s little else that’s as painful as the feeling of loss in life. And especially when it comes to a man.

Like, why would you even want to EVER have a relationship if you thought you were going to lose his attention to someone else?

You wouldn’t.

And here’s the thing. A lot of the time, when you ask men themselves, even THEY will tell you that it’s impossible not to feel attracted to other women whilst they are in a committed relationship with you.

(Click here to take the quiz “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

So, how on earth do you deal with THAT?

Related post: What to Do If He Takes You for Granted

Table of Contents

You cannot just take what men say as “Gospel Truth”

I mean, if he SAYS he could never stop feeling attracted to other women, it must be true, right?

Not quite.

There’s something I have to tell you.

And it’s something I talk about in my program Commitment Control 2.0…

You cannot just take what a man says for granted. Just like with life in general, you can’t trust what anyone says!

People say all kinds of things. What we need to do as strong women, is stop focusing on their words.

If you just take it for granted that he will feel attraction for other women whilst he is with you, or if you take for granted that he will always be looking for something else – then what kind of relationship will you have?

And honestly, how does it feel to YOU – knowing that he’s always going to be out feeling attraction for other women?

What are you going to do? Just turn a blind eye to it like most women?

No, no no.

I’m about to show you what it takes to get a man to be madly in love with you and ONLY you.

If you take what I’m about to teach you and use it, you can and WILL experience that kind of love and security and passion with a man that you’ve always wanted.

(What Is The One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Single Man in this World That Inspires Him to WANT to Commit to One Woman, Want to Take Care of Her, Worship Her and Only Her? Click here to find out right now…)

CLICK HERE to LEARN the one specific emotional trigger within every masculine man that inspires him to want to take care of you, worship you and deeply commit to you.

How to Get a Man to Desire you and ONLY you

Here’s the secret to getting a man to desire you and ONLY you.

The general rule that applies here when you want to get a man to be in love with you and desire you and ONLY you forever, is that your mindset changes everything.

Or your psychology, as some call it.

As many highly respected success coaches would say, success in anything is 80% mindset (or psychology) and 20% strategies.

If you don’t learn the mindset behind having a man want you and ONLY you, and if you don’t understand WHY most men simply don’t perceive one woman can meet all of their needs, then your relationship will probably fail.

80% of long-term relationships and marriages ultimately fail. So it’s important you as a woman to have the right mindset for making yours succeed.

So here is how you can get yourself out of ‘small thinking’ into ‘big thinking’…

how to make a man desire only you

Here’s how you can get a man to desire you passionately, the way you deserve…

Understand that most men don’t REALLY think that they can’t be satisfied with only you.

And it’s not that he REALLY thinks that he cannot be attracted to only you.

(Click here to find out the 17 Attraction Triggers that makes a man naturally attracted to you)

It is just his perception. It’s not really the truth.

The TRUTH is in how much you meet his needs and how much you fulfil him.

A man may voice and verbalise that he cannot be satisfied with only one woman, but it doesn’t have to be true for YOU, in your life.

When a man says he can’t be satisfied with only you, or when YOU think his behaviour dictates that he feels this way, what’s really going on is that he simply doesn’t perceive that all his needs can be met by just one woman.

And perceptions change.

They change, especially when you show up as the right woman in a man’s life.

Whatever belief your man holds onto right now doesn’t have to be true forever, even if it is true in this moment.

And this perception that he may have comes from his own pre-conceived ideas about women and about relationships in general.

This perception comes from his past experiences.

But this perception that a man has is something totally different to the excitement and fulfilment he could actually potentially have with you.

Men pick the idea up from popular movies, their peer groups, their father, their parents’ bad divorce, the media….the experiences of their guy friends or close relatives, etc.

By the way, it’s not just men. Women often doubt that one man can meet all of their needs. I used to doubt it too – until I met my man. and he owns me. he owns me completely.

He has turned me into a raving fan, and I wouldn’t have it any other way, because he always meets my needs in new ways, at such a high level, that I don’t even have space for another man in my mind, my body and my soul.

He has taken over my world – even years and years into our marriage.

It’s really not hard at all for a man to come to the conclusion that no one woman can meet ALL his needs.

Lost innocence can = negative beliefs about relationships

I mean, think about this for a second…

We all only have one chance. One chance at innocence in the context of human intimate relationship.

And once we lose it, we can become so hurt that it feels impossible to be fully satisfied with only one man, or one woman.

I’ve heard from (and heard of) many men who have been married just once – and afterwards, they just don’t want to marry ever again. Ever.

But haven’t we all said ‘NEVER again!’ to something, and later on, down the track, we find ourselves changing our minds?

Isn’t it true? We all start off as teenagers falling in love, and we get so consumed, and we fall in love, and we get hurt – and we tell ourselves “never again. No thanks.”

Many of us (men or women) have the idea that we can’t really be truly satisfied with one person (or attracted to) only one person.

So many men and women have been burnt in relationships.

And we are fed so much crap from disillusioned adults, from stupid media, that we tend to have really low expectations just to protect ourselves.

We don’t want to get too involved with one person out of fear that they will leave. Or hurt us too badly.

Until that bombshell (the “right” woman) comes along. Or that Mr. Right.

(What is the ONE thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! Click here to find out right now…)

CLICK HERE to LEARN the one specific emotional trigger within every masculine man that inspires him to want to take care of you, worship you and deeply commit to you.

To have the Relationship you want, you have to come from a Position of Power

You CAN’T just take what men say for granted.

This gives you no power. It’s a really low-level place for you to be, as a woman. The best man/woman relationships have a powerful woman in it who believes in her ability to influence men.

It’s not resourceful, and it’s definitely not going to get you that relationship you want, or that man you want so badly.

See, this is what most women do…

A man tells them something, or they get an idea in their head from other women about men, and they take it as gospel truth. They don’t even question it!

Well, it’s not hard to sit there and just be ‘told’ what reality to adopt in your own head.

It’s what most of us do. But little do we know that people and events are influencing us every day. Especially the people closest to us. Especially the man or woman we feel the most attraction for.

Think about it:

Haven’t you had one of those moments where you were SURE something was the truth, and someone or some idea came along and made you change your mind?

For example: have you ever had a really bad day where you thought “gee, nobody really cares about me at all”, and on that day, a stranger did something really kind for you?

They just did it without asking anything back – and it really changed your perception about people?

And then perhaps you thought: ‘oh. Maybe people aren’t so bad after all!’ or ‘my faith in humanity is restored!’

Once you let what others say be your ‘truth’, because they said it – you are instantly powerless.

Why are you instantly powerless?

Because you basically let the quality of your relationship with a man be at the mercy of his false preconceived ideas about relationships.

Which are, by the way, probably encouraged in him by people or media who don’t actually care about him.

Average people will have average ideas about relationships. They will only see surface truths.

Above average people will have above average ideas about relationships. Because they don’t want to settle for a feeling of disempowerment!

This is the type of person I am encouraging you to become: an above average person who uses their brain to investigate ideas. Don’t just settle for surface truths that only ensure that you have poor quality relationships.

Here are my Top 5 “Must-Follow” Rules For Dating & Relationships For Women.

CLICK HERE to discover the ONE PHRASE you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! (Works like magic in a high vale non-needy way!)

As a Woman, You are Always Influencing The Men Around You

See, as a woman, you instantly increase your attractiveness and desirability when you have the courage to acknowledge that just because someone says something, doesn’t mean it has to be true.

You can take the lead as a woman with your FAITH that you can fulfil a man so much that he is so filled up with attraction for YOU that all other women are like a piece of poo on his shoe to him.

After all, haven’t you heard of men who have been stuck to a woman (their wife) like glue for life? They’re not just stuck, they’re madly in love for life?

Here is an interesting scientific finding that will help you have hope that a man can really desire you and only you for a lifetime….

In fact, researchers have proved that some men and women are still madly in love with their beloved after 20 or more years of marriage.

The pathways of the brain associated with romantic love (intense attraction) were still lit up as much as they are lit up for couples when they first fall in love in the initial months of the relationship.

And in some cases, these couples actually showed more activity in the area of the brain associated with romantic love and intense attraction.

You’ve been in love before, haven’t you?

You know, that feeling where you are obsessed with one man and cannot get him out of your head?

Well, you can have a man feel this for you not just for a few weeks, not just for a few months, but FOREVER.

So, would you at least acknowledge that this kind of relationship exists? That’s the very first step. It is to believe.

Believe in something greater than you do right now.

Because if you don’t, you’re just shooting yourself in the foot when it comes to relationships.

(See my article on the 3 reasons why women are failing to attract good men)

Women everywhere, every day, are experiencing this kind of bliss in their relationship! And it’s partly because they are willing to trust and believe that it can be true for them.

This is the power of having a high value mindset. If you’d like to learn more about having a high value mindset, check out our program “High Value mindsets”.

(The promise of this program is to give you the ability to “trade in” your anxiety and insecurities for self esteem, self worth and intrinsic confidence, so that no one will ever take you for granted & high value men will recognise you as an indispensable “keeper”.)

SECRETS REVEALED… Discover how you too can use this little known “Dark Feminine Art” to weed out the toxic men whilst cultivating real emotional attraction with high value high esteemed men. (CLICK HERE to enrol in this free class before it’s gone.)

Shouldn’t you be able to relax and just be yourself?

It doesn’t have to be exhaustive, the idea of fulfilling a man and meeting his needs. I know it does feel exhaustive sometimes, kinda like you can’t just relax and BE YOURSELF, right?

But the real change is not in the effort you put in and the constant racking your brain and ‘trying” to keep a man interested.

It’s really not about putting in more ‘effort’ as such.

The REAL change is in your mindset.

Kind of like why for some people it’s so easy to stay slim, but for others, they cannot get the weight off! Right? We all know someone like this.

And some people can never seem to lose weight even if they are working their butts off physically at the gym EVERY NIGHT.

Why is this?

It’s because of their mindset.

Mindset dictates your decisions and actions subconsciously.

The truth about why so many men don’t feel happy with just one woman

Do you want to know the truth?

The truth about why so many men simply don’t want to commit to just one woman? The cold hard facts about what most women out there are like?

The facts are this: most women are completely and utterly boring. They’re always the same kind of person!

And the same is true with men, isn’t it? It’s not just women, it’s men, too.

Men can be really boring to be in a relationship with! Especially when you’ve been together for a while.

And it’s not their fault! It’s not their fault that they are boring.

The reason for why so many men and women are boring to be within a relationship is that in our society, most of us become one-dimensional people.

One dimensional people are always the same kind of person because we believe that we are only one kind of person. That’s why it’s so important to avoid being a one-dimensional woman.

Here’s an article on dark and light feminine energy to help you understand and explore the different parts of yourself!

QUIZ TIME: Are you truly living in your feminine energy? CLICK HERE to find out with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!

Most Women are One-dimensional

And we are raised to be one-dimensional at school, and often by our family and peers.

People always ‘box’ us in to one category and limit us to one identity.

For example: we are the sexy one, the quiet one, the ‘gentle, kind-hearted’ one. The daring one. The ‘smart’ one. The ‘elegant’ one.

But the truth is that you are a lot more than just that. You are a lot more than just elegant, for example.

Often, if we do something that’s different than what we normally do, people or our “friends”, are all like: “gee, that’s not like you!” or “you’ve changed” (in that dreaded negative tone, like changing is the most evil thing in the world).

As a result, it’s incredibly hard and feels unnatural to be multi-dimensional.

YOU are light feminine and yo are dark feminine. You are and can be a woman of mystery and feminine allure, when you’re multidimensional.

Once you embody all parts of yourself, you will find that men are lining up to devote themselves to you.

Why? Because they can’t help but feel deep emotional connection with you. Your multidimensional nature ensures that you are able to emotionally connect with them beyond the surface.

You are the woman who reaches beyond the surface into the deepest parts of him, the parts where all his masculinity and passion lies.

Men crave this kind of woman because they never lose their freedom by being with you! You don’t restrict a man because you’re not being a one-dimensional woman!

(There Are Exactly 7 Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to Men. Do You Know What They Are? (& How to Avoid Them Like the Plague)? Click here to find out right now…)

Here’s The ONE Thing A Masculine Man Will Never Give Up To Be With A Woman

Some experts say that women can become the kind of woman that makes a man ‘give up his freedom’ to be with her.

Well, the truth is that NO man is ever going to give up his freedom to be with you.

Not a masculine man on earth will ever give up his feeling of freedom. Freedom is at the heart of being a man; it’s at the heart of masculinity.

And I mean the ‘feeling’ of freedom here. I am not saying that no man can ever not be monogamous. They can be! I’m talking about the feeling of freedom within his masculine soul.

A man wants to genuinely commit to you for the right reasons (ie: because he’s a raving fan of you) when he feels more freedom by being with you than he does by NOT being with you.

Embodying your light and Dark feminine is something I talk about in depth in week 2 of Commitment Control 2.0.

If you want to avoid being one-dimensional, and have a man devote all his attention to just you, click here to register and watch the Commitment Masterclass.

2) Respect yourself enough to KNOW that you can be enough for this one man forever.

Once you have this confidence and this mindset, you will start to see him change, and you will attract something completely different in a man. And if you are single, you will attract a completely different kind of man.

You may find that you attract men who truly value you and want to make you their one and only woman for life.

Find out more about becoming his one and only (rather than ‘the one of many’ woman here.)

And here’s an article on How To Make Him Chase You And Value You: High Value Women Secrets.

Most of us have no idea how much influence we have over a man.

We don’t realize the power of a strong belief and great mindset. When we have the courage to acknowledge that we can and already have it within us to be more than enough for a man for LIFE, we bring more power to ourselves.

Make him want ONLY you by becoming his ONE AND ONLY woman…

After all, men will either make you their one and only or their one of many woman.

And remember, when met meet you, they will put you in either one of two baskets. The one and only basket, or the one of many basket.

And if you’re in the ‘one and only’ basket, he will never ever want to give you up. He will be in love and he will give you ALL of his resources. Every last morsel.

However, when he categorises you as the ‘one of many’, he will give you crumbs.

So remember this framework. Because it’s when you add enough value, when you show up as a woman of value to men, that you can easily slip into the ‘one and only’ basket for more men.

Don’t ever forget this framework. Make it a part of your internal positive mindset about men and relationships.

If you don’t, you’ll fall for all the fearful beliefs that the media and perhaps your jaded aunts or friends have towards men.

I don’t blame women for resenting men and harbouring mindsets based in fear.

After all, it feels MUCH safer if you just think you can’t have what you want with men.

Because then you can never fail.

And oftentimes, not failing seems a much more attractive idea than looking like a fool, doesn’t it? if you just take it for granted that men will always be looking for something “more” outside of a relationship with you – you can sit back and avoid being hurt.

But by doing this, you just end up powerless and miserable.

There are 7 common signs a woman is perceived as low value to all men, because men simply perceive value differently to women. Do you know what these signs are and how to avoid them like the plague? CLICK HERE to download this special report.

The Action Steps for Making a Man Desire you and ONLY You

So here are the three action steps to stop your man feeling dissatisfied with only you, and get him to desire only you and commit all his attention to only you.

1) stop ASKING him about whether he is attracted to other women, and stop FOCUSING on his possible attraction to other women.

Where focus goes, energy flows. The peak performance coach Anthony Robbins said that.

So the more you focus on the possibility of his desire for other women, the more likely you are to damage your relationship and push him away, because you’re leading with fear rather than leading with value.

And the less power you claim for yourself.

Remember that it’s exhausting to be with somebody who is always looking out for possible reasons that they are not enough for you.

Imagine yourself being with a man like this! Would it feel nice?

Instead, focus on a new truth: you CAN be the dream woman for this man that he may not even feel exists right now.

See, most men have no idea what they want and what they would commit to, until she shows up in front of them.

It’s no different to a guy asking you “what turns you on sexually?”.

It’s hard to answer/explain what turns you on, right? It’s much better that a man shows you what will turn you on and give you the opportunity to feel turned on, right?

The same thing is true of men and commitment. They don’t know exactly what it takes in order for them to commit to you and give you everything, until it shows up in front of them. Until you are the kind of woman that juices him and makes him unable to have room for any other woman in his mind.

Every single time you notice yourself looking for signs that he might be attracted to other women, INSTANTLY bring your focus back to YOURSELF and what you can do. (See my article on HOW to attract men without being low value)

This is the power of having a high value mindset, and we talk about it in our program “high Value Mindsets”.

2) Every time you notice yourself feeling insecure about other women – or about him not being satisfied – Stop what you are doing. Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, or jump up and down on the spot – whatever you want.

Change your physical state. Do something crazy to change your focus. Do ANYTHING just to change your physical state, because fear is physical.

And you cannot make the right decisions or be the woman he wants when you are coming from a place of fear. Anytime you are fearful, your heart rate is raised, your body’s whole biochemistry changes.

This is why it’s important to simply change your physical state – changing your physical state also changes your emotional state.

3) Start telling yourself a different story.

We all make up stories in our heads as a way of justifying our suffering, or as a way of justifying what we don’t have, or what we haven’t achieved.

A lot of us have stories that are complete lies that we tell ourselves.

Stories like:

“Men are always dissatisfied.”

“My relationships never last longer than a few months”.

“Men are never satisfied with ME. But they seem to be satisfied with OTHER women.”

Stories like:

“I’m not the kind of woman men are irresistibly drawn to. ”

Or…

“Men always leave. No matter how much I try to fulfil a man, he always leaves or he always wants something else. I just can’t keep him interested!”

Here’s an article on Is He Serious About You Or Just “Interested”? Critical Distinction.

We all tell ourselves silly stories that are untrue. So you need to tell yourself a better story. For example, say the story you habitually tell yourself is:

“Oh, I was never considered that beautiful, I’ve never had enough love from any man and my relationships never work out. I’m no Megan Fox, I could never be enough because he’s always going to want someone hotter, more popular, or younger.”

Remind yourself that that is bollocks. Megan Fox has been MADE OUT deliberately, to be a sex symbol, so of course, most people see her that way. Of course, MEN see her that way.

It’s the same way people box everyone in to little capsules of what they think they should be.

You have the capability to be a Megan Fox because all you have to do is stir a man’s physical AND emotional desire.

Stirring a man’s desire and triggering his attention are things you can learn. You just have to tap in to that part of yourself.

So, your new story could be:

“I am more than enough for this man. I have always been enough. I know the truth, I’ve just been lying to myself. The truth is that I have everything I need within me right NOW to be more than enough. Sexy enough, smart enough, poised enough, beautiful enough – all of it.”

And I have access to this power within me right now, TODAY. Not tomorrow, or next month, or next year. But right now, TODAY.”

Doesn’t that feel nice?

(Do You Know What the 2 Most Critical Elements of Any Intimate Relationship Are and How They Will Make or Break Your Love Life? Click here to find out right now…)

So here is what you need to do right now…

to make sure that you are on the right path to having the desire of the man YOU want on YOU and ONLY you forever, do this.

RIGHT NOW: you need to ACT so that you get this all in to place in your life, and so that you can be the kind of woman who has all the attention and devotion in the world from any man you want.

You need to write down what your old story (or stories) you’ve been telling yourself is:

Whether it’s that “men are never satisfied”

or…

“Men are horribly complicated creatures that are difficult to work out”.

(And you really need to dig deep here, a lot of our most negative stories are etched deep in to our subconscious, after telling ourselves the same story for years and year on end).

And once you’ve written out the old story you’ve been telling yourself, you need to write down what your NEW story is, and start telling yourself the new story.

For example, your new story could be:

“I am a ridiculously attractive and irresistible woman who always has something new and better to bring to the table. All I need to do is get a bit more understanding of men, and stop telling myself lies about my own capabilities and desirability.”

And once you’ve written this new story down…

You must acknowledge that most of us have just never been taught what truly attracts men and makes them go crazy with desire for you day after day, year, after year.

The same way most of us have never been taught how to start and maintain a business; how to initiate and take control of our destiny. That’s why 90% of all businesses fail within the first 5 years.

In fact, most of us have totally lost touch with that natural femininity and intuition needed to be successful in courtship and relationship with men, because we’ve become one-dimensional.

So if you want to go deeper, and take things to the next level in your love life, come on over and learn what 99.9% of women out there will never know about men and relationships. Click here to watch the Commitment Masterclass.

Until next time, love and femininity to you!

Share with us in the comments section below, what your beliefs are about the possibility of being fulfilled by one person for life. Do you believe it is possible?

(By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new program “Becoming His One & Only”. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!)

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Renee Wade

Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.

Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below.

Quotes from the book “Hunting for a male. How to Get Everything from a Man Alexa Leslie - LitRes

Quotes 107

CONCLUSION A man wants emotions. He wants to meet someone who will surprise him. Therefore, you see such seemingly incompatible qualities in the kind of woman he wants. Some write that those with whom they would like a permanent relationship do not exist in nature. The man wants the woman in bed to have the experience of a prostitute, but at the same time be a virgin. So that she would be an independent person, and at the same time wait for him at home and cook borscht for him. So that she had her own life and hobbies, while she lived only for them. A man wants her not to bother him and surprise him. He wants his friends to like her, to be wanted by other men. But at the same time, she must be faithful and chaste. And practice shows that when you provoke him, it works better than when you wait for him with your paws folded. The conclusion is simple - learn to be an actress. It's all a game. You balance between debauchery and chastity. Between bad and good. It is important to understand this. A man needs different emotions. If you love him too much and give yourself to him, he ceases to appreciate it. If you start cheating on him, he leaves. If you are too boring, he leaves. If life with you is like on a volcano, he gets bored with it too. Available - not interested. Unavailable - hits self-esteem. Balance. It is important to give him everything. Both positive and negative. Both dark and light. This is the answer to the question: What kind of woman does he need? - Different!

Roughly speaking, if you want to be twice as valuable to him, give him yourself, and then show that you can be taken away from him.

Effective and ineffective image In general, you always have only two options for creating an image. The image of a woman who is torn apart and with whom many men want a relationship. And the image of a woman who is looking for someone to marry. Generally speaking, we, men, we understand women very well. And their needs. But, to be honest, we are pretty tired of seeing these hungry eyes that scream: “HOW I WANT TO MARRY!” This, for you to understand, is like if a woman sees a man dreaming about sex with someone! It doesn't matter with whom, and he, hungry, rushes to any target. And all the women shy away. And we, men, treat such a woman in much the same way. Once I was returning from a concert of my friend, and my car was full of young girls. I threw the phrase:

– All girls want to get married in our hard time.

Everyone remained silent, but one answered:

– I don't want to! My friend, who was sitting next to me, turned around. To understand who said it. He was interested in this girl. - Why don't you want to? It's not normal. Or just no one offered you?

- They offered, just the wrong people. Oops! A serious claim to the title of gourmet. She doesn't eat everything, but only what she likes. “Ah, you want the oligarchs to offer you. Do you want a rich boy?

– No, it was the oligarchs who offered me. And I do not want a rich boy, but my beloved and mine. There is no such thing yet. What a literate girl, I thought to myself. In one minute, she managed to raise her bar compared to her friends and make me and my friend salivate.

A man has an emptiness in his head about you when he sees you for the first time. Or you fill it out yourself, as you need it. Or he will do it without your help, and you will not be able to influence it in any way. You don't have to give him a choice. Always decide what he thinks of you.

How to direct his thoughts towards wooing and winning you? Ultimatums!

If you think like this: “He used to do it. Now it has stopped. What the heck? You need to tell him that this will not work! He must take care, I'm a woman! ”This is male logic, male construction of a phrase. And the male strategy of "ultimatum" suggests itself! And what do you get in return? - Yes, I don’t owe you anything, I gave you flowers on March 8. Or: - Okay, - he says, lowering his head. And now wooing you is his job. And he used to enjoy it! But of course he won't tell you! You understand why! He comes to me and says this: “I used to like taking care of her, but now it’s my duty. It's stressing me out. But I understand that I have to behave this way. And I want a flight, I want a brain explosion, I want emotions. That's why I want to find a mistress! And he wants to find a mistress instead of you. And do it all for her. And why? Because now he does not "WANT" to care as before, but "SHOULD" do it. It depresses him, he feels it. Routine, he thinks. But he comes home with a smile, brings you gifts. And at this time you think that nothing is happening. In the meantime, he is looking for another. Because a man wants to “WANT” and not “SHOULD” him:

– When was the last time you gave me flowers?

Or:

- When was the last time you invited me somewhere?

Or:

– When was the last time you took me somewhere? - better bite your tongue, so that you can never say it again. After all, this will put an end to his DESIRE TO FIGHT FOR YOU! And we simply need this. He will never tell you this, because to say such a thing to a woman is contrary to his masculine nature. But it's true! HE WANTS YOU TO MAKE HE FIGHT FOR YOU AGAIN! HE WANTS TO FIGHT FOR YOU!!! I remember I once got into a fight over my girlfriend. And that day I had sex with her, which I remember for the rest of my life. Even though before that I was very cold towards her, this fight sharply cleared my feelings and hers! Instead of an ULTIMATUM, use a WOMAN STRATEGY!

Bleeding! Competition! A provocation! You start to sob and want to tell him: “But when was the last time you gave me flowers!” Instead, immediately replace it with another option: “They try to glue me under your nose, they give me flowers, but you don’t see it!” Do you want to lose me? Will I fall in love with myself? And they will take you away? And here you will see how his face will change, believe me! You will see a dog whose territory someone has encroached on. And here they are! instincts! He will immediately switch to hitting you! In any case, everyone always blames others. Never say you can leave! Instead of "I can leave" - say: "They want to take me away!" Instead of "I can fall in love!" - "I can fall in love with myself!".

Instead of "I'll move away from you!" "I'll be moved!"

Instead of "I'll get divorced!" say: "I can be divorced from you!".

Any active role you play in any scene is masculine behavior. Any passive role is feminine. Not even like that. In the first case, you have no influence at all. When you say: “I will leave,” he begins to answer like a man: “Well, go away, well, just try! Let's see what you get out of it! ” That is, you cause aggression on yourself. He thinks: “Where are you going without me!” Try it, go out the door of this house, I'll show you where the crayfish hibernate. There is still gunpowder in the powder flasks. In the second case: - Why the hell are they trying to take her away from me? Who allowed them to? They don't take me for a man? Who is it? I will now show them my territory and what happens for trying to climb on it. Imagine if the car said to the driver: “I will go to another owner!” The reaction of the driver: “Die, it’s better not to get to anyone!” And when something is taken away from him, this is a threat. And he will fight. You say: “I'm not your thing! I don't belong to you!" That's where you're wrong. You belong to him. He may deny it, but we really think so, and there's nothing you can do about it! Remember - you are his property. Don't argue with it. Use it! You are the property they are trying to take. And you shouldn't have any influence on it. It's his business. If he is not ready to fight for what is taken from him, he is not a man. He's not male, but female! I'll tell you what. No man will tell you that! But ... Believe me, all men would prefer that women behave this way! Cunningly. Thin. Competently and in a feminine way! Replace

Instead of "When did you give me flowers?" say: "All sorts of goats begin to court me."

Instead of "Why don't you take me anywhere?" - "I was invited on a date, but I would prefer it if it was you!"

Instead of "When was the last time you gave me something?" “They tried to give me a ring at work today. Can you imagine what you've come to? They think that I don’t have a boyfriend who can buy it for me!” In some countries there is such a tradition. Pay attention to the female partner. If your partner cannot decorate his woman properly, then you should not do business with him. Transfer it to our reality. You don't want him to give you, and you don't force him to do it. And they start to think badly about him at your work. - He doesn’t follow his woman, so you can encroach on her. That is, it’s not you who don’t respect him, but others stop respecting him. Use public assessment to force him to follow you look after. And always not in reproach. - Imagine what they say. My crazy boss hinted to me that if I were his woman, he would spend more money on me. Guess what a jerk? You are so good with me, I don’t love you for money. You are very mistaken if you think that we men will pay attention to the part of the phrase in italics. When it comes to how we are perceived in society, we don't hear anything else! PUBLIC PERCEPTION for us is much stronger than how we are perceived by one person, even the dearest, believe me. Therefore, the first instinct that any man will have is to prove to society that everything is wrong. Or give your boss in the face for such words. Or prove it in a more civilized way. For example, buy you a Porsche Cayenne. It would be nice, wouldn't it? Believe me, you yourself will never divorce him on a Porsche Cayenne. No matter how hard you try. Why would a man buy it for you? Just? And what will he get from this? So, if he receives public recognition, respect, then it may be worth it. Forget about selfless expensive gifts. Women who believe this have never received them! Never ask a man for flowers directly. Do it metaphorically: “They gave me flowers here!” CONCLUSION

If you want to download rights with a man on his territory, you are doomed to failure. Remake phrases that have non-feminine notes into feminine options, resort to female tricks and tricks. You will defeat him only if you drag him into your territory.

How to learn to enjoy being alone? It often happens that you are afraid to be alone. And because of this, you endure everything that is not worth enduring. And the man feels that you can't get away from him anywhere. Because of this, he is not afraid to lose you, and his attitude changes. And all just because he sees that you are afraid and cannot be left alone. Learn to live a life in which everything that happens is done for you! The sun rises to please you, restaurants and cafes - for you, clean air - for you, the sea and beaches - for you. The whole world exists for you. Look how many interesting things are around. You're free. You can go wherever you want, you can do whatever you want. Everything that interests you! And when you feel it, you feel the buzz of loneliness, immediately the men begin to stick like flies. We like to tie just such a woman to ourselves. Such a woman is a difficult prey. She is independent and interesting. I want to spend time on it to win it and make it my own! And the girl who hangs on her neck and will do everything not to be left alone - we will wipe her legs on her and send. We men are extremely cruel in this sense! This is the reality of life. When you learn to get high from loneliness, they will flock like flies to honey! One woman I know has been alone for four years for fifty dollars. She suffered in loneliness. And suddenly, after my book, she decided - what the hell am I worried about? You have to live for yourself! She got a lot of hobbies, she became interested in fitness, began to spend time in theaters and give herself pleasure. She finally crawled out of her lair and began to glow in public. And she liked this life. Now she has a problem. She has two men. Each of them proposed to her. And each of them insists on his own - calls her to marry! And four years ago she really needed it. But she tasted the free life. And now he answers: “I’m fine as it is!” Why do I have any obligations to someone? I do what I want. And I can leave at any time if I don't like it. Why should I give up my freedom? A person who has tasted freedom becomes necessary for everyone! Be free, get high from it, crawl out of your lair, wake up!

It is always a man who leads to bed. Down the aisle - always a woman!

In response to unwanted behavior in a relationship: – When you do this, you slowly kill feelings in me! This method is very good. Just a thrill! With this phrase, you show him that his unwanted behavior leads to the fact that he can lose you. And you kind of say to him: you're the one

Relationship BEFORE and AFTER sex Before sex, anything can happen. You can tease him as you like, behave as you like, play. But ... After sex - everything changes! No humor about sex. No talking. After sex, a man needs a boost in self-esteem, but it's important not to overdo it. But if you don’t do this, you can stay in a bad relationship with him. If you spam his SMS after sex, then he will definitely give a reverse move. But ... If you remain silent, he will think that there is no activity on your part at all. He may be frightened or, due to his pride, will not meet with you. Many do nothing, believing that a man should take the initiative. Write him one SMS: “I really liked you!” Or say once:

– I felt very good with you, I liked it with you! Everything.

Why is this so important? Many men are insecure. He can behave like a macho, while being internally insecure. All men think about sex like this:

- I'm the coolest, I'll just tear her.

And after sex it seems to them:

– What if she didn't like something? And he wrote about this SMS in his blog. Send SMS. This will give him confidence that not only he needs communication with you. In the end, even if you didn’t like it with him, but you want to use him somehow in the future, this will help to establish friendly relations with him. If you tell a man after sex that you didn’t like him, or you don’t react at all , then you run the risk of remaining in a bad relationship with him. In the future, he will not say hello to you. Not because he's an asshole. It's just because he's scared. You hurt his self-esteem, and now he is afraid that you will tell others or hurt him again. It’s more convenient for him to think that you are terribly ugly, that he didn’t like you, than to believe that you didn’t like him. Therefore, it’s better for him to think that you were very good with him. Then he will not be afraid to greet you and be on good terms. He will be happy for you. Purely human. Because you didn’t trample on his ego, his self-respect, and any man rests on this. Many people spoil relationships for some reason after sex. They just silently disperse, that's all. Bad sex is not a reason to ruin a relationship with a person and stop communicating. Lie to him:

- I like you very much, you are pleasant in sex.

And he will smile at you and rejoice, even if you beat him as a result. I have already mentioned that when parting with a man, the main thing is not to hurt his ego! After any sex it's the same! He's the best ever, even if he's actually the worst. It doesn't really concern you. Make a choice. Do you want to tell him the truth or stay on good terms with him? Many women don't understand that it's best to stay on good terms with all men. Especially young girls. They naively believe that there will be a lot of men in life, that the world is very big and that no matter what relationship you have with these men, you can change them. But the further you live, the more you will understand that every person can be to you useful and at some point be the key to your life. So it's better to stay on good terms with everyone. Just in case!

And as my artist friend says: “I'm a good lover, but a bad husband. Because I am a holiday in a woman's life. And there can’t be a holiday every day!”

Signs that a man wants sex

To understand what he really thinks, his body will help you. The position of the arms, the crossed legs, the turn of the head, even the way he stands - all this will give you an answer, what mood he is in and what he wants.

Hands in pockets

If your man is straight forward and can just walk up to you and say, "Honey, I've been dreaming of undressing you all day," you're in luck. As a rule, men love flirting, ambiguous jokes, by which you should understand what he is waiting for.

The very first position that says that he craves sex - hands in the pockets of his pants, and thumbs out. A more sexual gesture is hard to imagine. At the same time, he seems to be telling you that he will set the tone in your sexual game, the initiative will come from him. A man in this position says: "You will do as I said." In this case, he plays the role of the first violin. Remember, the man himself will set the rules of the game and he himself will finish it when he wishes. Cruel? Yes, but the game is worth the candle.

Attention
on... socks!

If you notice that he is standing with his hands on his hips, turning his body towards you, know that he is definitely not averse to continuing communication with you in a more intimate setting. Thus, a man shows that his attention is entirely focused on you. If also the toes of his shoes are also turned towards you, he shows to those other men: "Don't come near, this woman is busy, she is mine." Men rarely take such positions, most often they sit with their arms outstretched, the toes of their boots nearby. Sexologists call this the "inviting gesture." He seems to be calling other women: "Look, I'm free, let's get to know each other." But in this case, all he wants is you. Therefore, when a man sits in such a position, you can twist ropes out of him, he will fulfill your every whim. But it is enough for you to stand up or look away from him, as his contact with you will be broken.

Look at me!

There is another, less complicated way to understand if a man is ready for sex. Remember, when you liked a man, you suddenly start preening: you smooth your hair, your voice timbre changes, you start fiddling with jewelry. He does the same. If a man likes a woman, he begins to fiddle with the tie knot, straighten the sleeves of his shirt, run his hand through his hair. Many will take these gestures for excitement, but in fact he seems to be telling you: "Look how good I am, what hair I have, expensive cufflinks. I like you, take a closer look at me."

The main thing is lips

Men use gestures that indicate that he wants to kiss you. If, for example, you lick your lips when you want to tell a man about your desires, then the stronger sex acts more secretly. Take a closer look: does he keep touching his finger to his lips? This means that the man is trying to attract your attention to them and hint at further actions, he wants to touch your lips. You can let him know that you accept these advances, or you can ignore them altogether.

Only you!

You met the man you've been dreaming about for a week in the office, and suddenly he presses you against the wall and shields you with his hand, as if protecting you from the outside world. Well, congratulations - your dreams of him will soon come true. If a man stood in such a position, it means that he wants you to become his. With his hand, he seems to create a small world just for you. This position scares many women, but you should not be afraid. A man does not want to scare or offend you, he just wants to show how much he wants you.

Exciting look

Well, perhaps the simplest gesture is a sexy look that gives you goosebumps.

Learn more