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I hate everything in my life


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SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.

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If you hate your life. I hate myself

Life is not just existence, breathing or heartbeat. This is what our days and thoughts are filled with. Everyone feels happy when his life brings him satisfaction. Of course, even the most cheerful person sometimes gets upset or sad. But sometimes what fills life greatly depresses from day to day. From those who have experienced this, you can hear: “I hate my life. I hate people, I have a terrible job, everything that happens in my life is bad.” Such feelings can leave you restless for a long time. To understand how to get rid of them, you need to figure out what can lead to them.

Causes

Hatred of one's life is an unnatural state for a person. The more interesting are the reasons that can lead to this. Among them:

Sometimes it is difficult to notice one of these reasons in oneself. For clarity, standard situations with fictional characters will be given below.

Fashion trends. Anya was a cheerful child. But then she noticed that classmates like to play a joke on her optimism, but cynical, daring and caustic teenagers are considered the elite of the class. She wants to show that she is no worse than them, and she thinks up witty and caustic replies to their jokes. In social networks, Anya found many pages with humor that makes fun of kindness, generosity and marital fidelity. Gradually, she adopted this way of thinking, and everything that pleased her in life now causes only a cynical smile. But now they don't make fun of her.

Hatred, cynicism and insolence are now at the height of fashion. Even the villains in the movies are charming and witty. They attract rather than repel.

Comparing oneself to others. Irina is a deeply unhappy person. She hates life because she doesn't have a husband like her sister Tanya. After all, happiness is in such a life partner. Lena, Irina's friend, also does not have a husband. But there is a car and. Irina's appearance is not at all the same as that of those whom she considers beautiful. Everyone has something that makes them happy, and that's what Ira doesn't have.

Sometimes the habit of comparing yourself to others goes back to childhood. Previously, my mother said: “Here, all your friends are excellent students, and you again brought a three.”, and as a person grows up, he begins to expose himself in a negative light, comparing himself with others.

Fixation on the past. Luba knows exactly why she has a terrible life. The fact is that she went to study not as a seamstress, as she wanted, but as an accountant, on the advice of her mother. If only she had acted differently then! Then she married more sensibly, and certainly would not have been left alone with a child. Looking back, Lyuba is very sorry that she made a mistake that ruined her life. She hates her mother, who then insisted on her own, and the life that goes wrong because of this.

Situations that cannot be changed. Svetlana is only 20, but she is disgusted with her life. After her uterus was removed due to a tumor, she sees no point in waking up in the morning. She will never be able to have children. Why then live? Why create a family, and who wants to marry her? Why build a career and earn money if there will be no one to leave it later?

Every day is torture for Lyudmila. All members of her family died in a car accident, and she is alive only because she did not feel well that day. Why live if you don't bring the children's laughter back to their empty rooms? She is oppressed by a sense of guilt for not knowing, not stopping, not saving. Luda is firmly convinced that she should have died, and they should have lived. Thoughts of suicide come more often.

Emotional illnesses. Natalia has a wonderful life. Beloved husband, work, healthy children. But at times she is overcome by such a feeling of longing that she feels physical pain. Natasha cannot explain what is happening to her, and even just pull herself together. She constantly wants to cry, there is no appetite and sleep. The husband is upset, and the mother says: “You are mad with fat.”

What if in one of these situations you manage to recognize yourself? Does this mean that life will never bring joy again? It all depends on what to do next.

What can be done

First of all, you should firmly realize for yourself that it is definitely worth fighting for joy in life. Whether a person lives in vain or not depends on his mood. In response to such an attitude, life will definitely give something good. And despondency and pessimism have a very bad effect on health.

If fashion trends are the cause of such feelings, it is worth recognizing that our thinking shapes what we fill it with. This greatly affects the quality of life. You should not sacrifice it for the sake of fashion, because happiness is much more important. No matter how charming cynical and impudent people may seem, the soul is truly drawn to the kind and happy.

Great wealth - being able to be content with what you have. The feeling of contentment protects against envy and sadness. To learn to notice the good, you can start a gratitude diary - a notebook in which in the evenings you need to write down three reasons to say thank you to God, loved ones, or even yourself.

In addition, it would be wise to modestly admit that it is impossible to see everything from the outside. In every life there is something good and bad, but this is the business of those who live this life.

Past mistakes can really affect life. But, as a rule, this does not mean that absolutely nothing can be done. Focusing on the past is like a rearview mirror in a car. Sometimes it is helpful to look into it to learn from past situations. But if you look at it constantly, then it is impossible to make decisions, given what is happening in real time. It may take an effort of will to focus on what is happening now.

Unfortunately, not everything in this world can be influenced. Sometimes admitting it can be hard, and moving on can be even harder. To have strength, you need to find someone who needs care. A person becomes happier by giving someone part of his warmth.

The death of loved ones is the most powerful shock that can happen to a person. Where can you find the strength to move on? If necessary? It is worth considering, would a person who died want those he loved to lose the will to live? Of course not. Letting go doesn't mean forgetting. You can keep warm memories, the good that is left. And continue to live - the way those who love us would like it. So, set goals, even small ones, and achieve them.

It is worth enlisting the support of friends so that they are there on difficult days, for example, on a wedding anniversary, when it comes to the loss of a life partner.

The human nervous system is not adapted to a lifestyle that many consider normal. Every fourth inhabitant of the planet suffers from some kind of emotional disorder, and life would be much easier if all these people sought help in a timely manner. It is not at all necessary that antidepressants will be immediately prescribed for the treatment of depression, which will turn a person into a vegetable, as many are afraid of. It is quite possible that the body simply lacks some vitamins, or there has been a hormonal failure, or maybe someone just needs to speak out, who will not judge and will be able to look at the situation from the outside.

Life is always the way we see it. Loving her can be hard at times, but it's a good way to live her better.

Larisa, Shuya

Ananas , age: 16/16.03.2016

Responses:

Dear, if you only knew how many people consider themselves the most unfortunate, inferior, the most unworthy. And they are very much mistaken in themselves! We didn't just come into being. We are
called here by God, and He loves us more than anyone, more parents (who may be too harsh in their statements), more friends (who may turn away from us). Yes, we can have
be health problems, there may be some difficulties in learning, difficulties in relationships with people. But the most important thing that we have from God is life. And each of us living on
earth is a Personality. Each of us is unique, valuable in itself, unique and therefore deserves respect. Simply because he is called by God into this life. This is where your
attitude towards yourself should be built. Yes, each of us has shortcomings, both mental and physical. But each of us has his own positive aspects, abilities, talents, talents, skills. What are yours? They are
because you definitely have it. Reflect on this. And this will help you gradually fall in love with yourself and your life. And the attitude of those around us very often surprisingly reflects our dislike
for ourselves. And if you change your perception of yourself - and others will behave differently with you. So, start working on yourself. Wish you happiness!

Natalia, age: 44 / 03/25/2016

Pineapple, there are numerous logical errors in your assessment of yourself that create a false image of yourself in your mind.
1. "the most terrible person in the world" - if we consider "the whole world", then the category of "most terrible" in it will be firmly occupied by militants (banned in the Russian Federation) Daesh and terrorists of other origins, then,
, probably, drug dealers and child molesters, various murderers and other criminals. So you will be left with the place of the "middle-lazy teenagers of the Central Russian Upland."
2. "stupid" is also a rather dubious assessment. Just look in several dictionaries (preferably from the Soviet era) for the definition of this characteristic and objectively apply it to yourself.
For example, a characteristic given by a parent about the fact that "she herself could have guessed that we would come home from work tired and need to wash the dishes" is not an objective indicator of "stupidity", but
rather a lack of life experience of a student who, due to age, was not a parent and an employee.
3. "terrible" - this is what they are afraid of. Those. if you have all your teeth, hair in place (other people look at your face first of all), there are no disfiguring scars, neighbors, meeting you in the dark
do not scream at the entrance and do not try to get self-defense means, then, alas, this epithet is also erroneous.
So I propose to find all the logical errors in your message and analyze them. This will help develop concentration and analytical thinking and will be the first step towards preparing for the profession
architect)

Strict aunt, age: 03/46/26/2016

Svetlana, age: 03/34/28/2016

Dear Ananas, please, love yourself. You are alone, the only one. Why do you say such terrible things? Don't you feel sorry for yourself?
What did you do wrong to become the worst person in the world? Why did you decide that you are useless and no one needs you? Has everyone been asked in this world? Believe me, many
would need your help if you wanted to do good.
As for the figure and face, everything is fixable. Eat food, exercise, and you can do it at home.
You have good goals, study, find a job, start a family. But do not grab onto everything at once, go gradually, first start with a figure, with nutrition, then decide on your future profession,
try and don't be afraid that it won't work. No one succeeds right away. The worst thing is not to start.

Nika, age: 35 / 03/28/2016

Hello!
You write: "The thing is, I'm the worst person in the world.
I'm dumb, scary, and selfish. Nobody except my parents talks about this, but they say it in the heat of quarrels, so there are no
what to blame."
Honey, you are actually a wonderful person. These thoughts are instilled in you by your parents. And they do it from their own
self-doubt and discontent. After all, a happy and self-satisfied person will not criticize others, right? Everything is fine with you
. Does independence scare you? But it is in it - the way out of your situation! She will save you, you will become strong and
free. You are able to change your life. You are able to go to a place where you are loved and accepted for who you are, or at least
just do not touch or criticize. Believe me - this world is so huge and beautiful, there are so many wonderful people in it!
you will succeed, dear! One has only to start moving in the right direction, and life will begin to change for the better! Take
the first step towards happiness - get rid of all sources of negativity. And understand... Our parents are not perfect, and they can make mistakes
and even ruin our lives without realizing it... Think, and you will definitely find the right way out of your
situation.

Hello, I apologize in advance for mistakes, huge text, unnecessary problems, whining, etc. In fact, I'm not sure that I can correctly describe what I feel.. Or maybe it's not so important.. I just want to express everything that has accumulated..
Lately, my life has been heading towards the abyss, it's just getting worse and worse every day, I'm really tired of it all, I can't anymore . . This year I went to grade 9, everything started quite well, the school year I I started with good grades, I had a desire to study well, to change something in life, to strive for something, I dreamed that I would go to college, I would help people, I would save someone's life, every day was special, not I remember that I was in a bad mood, etc., I felt good and light.
One fine day everything changed, I was never confident in myself, my appearance, I always had complexes, such as "facial asymmetry", "imperfect features", etc., but within reason, but suddenly banal complexes grew into something much more, with every trip to a public place I got worse, I began to consider my appearance absolutely terrible, I thought that I was a subhuman and all that, I was a monster .. I began to be embarrassed by my appearance, especially showing up in front of people. that everyone is looking at my ugly face, which is why all the problems in communication and so on.
Gradually, I began to skip school very often, because of the fear of people, my appearance, I wanted to hide from everyone, forever.
I stopped being interested in anything, almost every day I cried because of all this, as if I had a breakdown. Sometimes there were thoughts “Appearance is not the main thing in a person, everything will be fine, and then I realized that this is not so, that they don’t choose appearance, it’s not my fault, etc. My older brother noticed that I had changed, he certainly could not understand my strange problems and decided to take me to a psychologist.
After some time of working with a psychologist, I stopped worrying about it for a while, but there is also the other side of the coin, in general, it happened that one event happened that affected me, after which I began to constantly think about death, a similar topic, I started to be afraid of her, and, as often happens, I had a real phobia, mb it's depression, I don't know.
I'm always anxious and scared in my soul, I hate myself, my life, I'm no longer interested in living, doing what I used to bring before, every day, every minute I think about this world, about life, about death, the brain boils, I want to get rid of this. I am unable to relax. I sleep very badly. I have a constant headache, maybe it's a migraine due to my thoughts.
I don’t know how to live on, what can I say, I can’t even answer myself why, I won’t be able to pass the exams, I missed a lot of classes at school, my relatives don’t understand me, they are disappointed in me, because of which is worse for me. I have absolutely no friends, although I'm not surprised what a normal person wants to communicate with such a miserable creature, and I don't want anything now, all day I'm waiting for the moment when I finally fall asleep ..
Everyone around is having fun, they want to have fun spend time, strive for something, and I’m just a miserable creature that is no longer capable of it, I’m sad, but more often it’s just empty, sometimes this emptiness is replaced by fear or anxiety, I don’t know how to accurately describe this feeling.
And I would also like to say that I stopped seeing the meaning in this life, I mentally try to prepare for death, I don’t know why, but when I start to resist these thoughts I get worse and worse, I have a strange feeling of anxiety in the morning, sometimes , I wake up, look at the clock and mentally begin to fall, I think "Well, another day, with every second closer to death, closer to the end.
I'm madly afraid for my family, I see my mother now, I love her very much, more than life , but I understand that every day I move away from my relatives, I understand that they will die, and I will never be able to survive this, because of which I begin to dream of dying earlier, although I am terribly afraid of death. .
My health has become terrible, every day I have a temperature, my head hurts a lot, etc., but this cannot be compared with. I can’t imagine myself in old age, I can’t imagine that today I am, and tomorrow I will lie and rot in the damp earth, devoid of consciousness, soul, thoughts, I am no more, there is only a wretched body.
Sometimes thoughts come, well, time will pass, it will get better, everything will pass, time heals, etc., but it does not get better.
Sometimes I want to get on a train and so that only I sit in it, so that it accidentally crashes, so that once and for all, so that I don’t understand anything before I die, after such thoughts I calm down a little, but then everything comes back, I start understand how scary it is to say goodbye to this world and so on.
I would like to come to terms with death, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t, I’m very scared.
I would like to find salvation from God, but I don't believe in him, I'm an atheist, like almost everyone in my family, there is no faith, it's like it was laid down from birth. I think that I am a stupid burden for my beloved family, I am ashamed in front of my brother, in front of my mother, I failed as a daughter, as a sister, I also have to support them, help in everything, but all I do is complain about life and think about my problems, I hate myself.
I'm tired, I have no more strength, I don't know where to go, what to do, how to live on, why, for what? ..
I want to get rid of this, once and for all.
I feel like nothing now.
In general, I just want to believe that there is someone or something who can help me.

Support the site:

Alya, age: 14 / 04/04/2016

Responses:

Dear Alechka! You have an age full of doubts and self-knowledge, the formation of personality, hobbies. to the street, to a public place, a museum, etc. Even if you don’t feel like it, force yourself to walk, admire the evening city and drink coffee from a paper cup, look at the city lights and people in a hurry, plan a trip to the museum, feed the birds in the park, because out of the billions of those who are not yet there, you have appeared, and this means something. Look for yourself, drink sedatives, happiness to you)))

Paco, age: 35 / 04/04/2016

Hello Alya!
I also thought about the meaning of life at about your age, but then I stopped thinking about it - we were born, we live - you just need to live this life with dignity, try not to harm anyone and try to do good so that our conscience is clear. It seems to me that you have concentrated too much on yourself - transfer your gaze to the outside world - there are so many beautiful things in the world - nature, music, painting, theater, sports, sunrises, sunsets, the first spring rain and birdsong outside the window - explore this world and learn - and you can, as you dreamed of helping people. And it is never too late to believe in God - people come to faith in different ways - we are free and the Lord does not force us - He is waiting for us to turn to him ourselves - and then he will gladly accept us in his arms. Go to the nearest Temple (best on Saturday evening or Sunday morning - usually there is a service in all Temples at this time), tell (maybe a church shop worker) that you would like to learn more about God, about faith - and they will tell you - to to whom and when it is better to approach, maybe they will recommend a book. Everything will be alright!
Happiness to you and the Guardian Angel!

Michael, age: 46 / 04/04/2016

Hello, Alya. You are now at a difficult age, for some reason you are going through it more difficult than the rest of the guys, but you have to hold on! For mom, brother, loved ones! After all, if you do something to yourself, they will not survive it! No need to move away from relatives, on the contrary, hug, say how much you need them, how much you love them! Read sections from this site, for example, the fate of relatives of suicide, stories about suicide. You will definitely understand that this is not an option! Don't deprive yourself of the future! Your family, your future husband, children need you! Away with bad thoughts!!! Take care of yourself!

Irina, age: 28 / 04/04/2016

Hello!
At your age, many think about different things.
You write that you are an atheist. But in the soul something says "to find salvation in God"
Do you know why some people believe and others don't?
There is such a parable. That three seeds were sown by the plowman. One fell into the ground, the other near the road (where the ground is rocky), and the third on the road.
What fell to the ground grew well. The fact that the road is very weak. What is on the road has not grown. (Because it was trampled)
So faith in the soul is a Seed.
You know, God gives all the answers. For all questions. And about loved ones, and about life. About everything.
Now you have many questions in your mind. But you don't know the right answers.
There is such a book. Answers of the priest to the young. author Kuraev.
You know, my niece was 13 years old. And her thoughts were the same as yours. And this book helped her a lot.
Everyone has a seed of kindness, understanding, happiness, it must be grown.

Julia, age: 32 / 04/04/2016

Hello, Alechka! I sympathize with you. Open Wikipedia "Depression". You have listed the symptoms of this disease here. Under the influence of certain reasons, periodically an imbalance of substances occurs in the brain, such as serotonin, dopamine .... hence the fears, and obsessive thoughts, bad sleep, the world in gray colors ..Depression is treated. You and your mother need to go to a psychiatrist and get treated. And about the "ugly" !!! When I was at school, there was a girl in our class who had one eye covered with an eyelid, that is, her eyelid was half open. She was very insecure, always silent, looked at the floor, didn’t go anywhere, we didn’t notice her. imagine that immediately after school she married a cadet, didn’t even study, and exactly a year later I met her with her wife, with a tummy, they were expecting a baby. She blushed out of habit ..... So that everything in life is relative .... Get well soon!

Violet, age: 45 / 04/05/2016


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I hate my life - what if you really hate your life

" I hate my life" 0231 is an infamous internal expression that people of all ages struggle with. But where do these thoughts come from? These thoughts stem from negative experiences in early childhood. The way we see ourselves as we grow up and the attitude towards us confirms how we see ourselves later.

expression " you are your own worst enemy" often contains great truth. It is a painful reality that what limits us so much in our lives is our feelings of worthlessness and self-hatred. But where do these feelings come from? How do they affect us? What can we do to live a life free from the harsh attitude of our inner critic?

First, let's summarize what negative emotions most often affect us in life:

  • I hate my life, be sad all day and want nothing
  • I always hate to think badly of people and I don't trust anyone
  • I hate it when someone doesn't text me, says they can't stay, or takes longer to reply to a message, or replies to me soon: thinking it's because of an unfavorable feeling towards me.
  • I hate my life because it is empty
  • I hate my life because I have no friends
  • I hate my life because everyone underestimates me
  • I hate being taught and telling myself what to do
  • I hate it when I don't know how to react to people
  • I hate my life for not having the money to become independent
  • I also hate the lack of courage to earn money
  • I hate my life when I look at myself in the mirror and I don't like what I see
  • I hate my life when I see others have the life I want
  • I hate my life because I don't know how to organize myself financially or in my business
    ...

Further reading: What to do if you don't know what to do with your life

We could go on and on with the one thing a person can hate in their life when they are just not happy with it. But let's try to find ways to love our life a little, and then, realizing its value, try to enjoy it.

You must have wondered at different stages of your life why something should happen to you.

Did you do something wrong, or maybe you got bad karma from past lives? Or maybe you haven't learned how to deal with life's situations, be wiser in relationships, business, or life in general.

You feel that everyone is happy except you, and everyone has such a quiet life that failures in life do not happen often. This is one of the biggest mistakes.

Don't compare your life so much with a seemingly perfect example, don't think everything is as it seems!

After all, if that's the case, your life is yours and all you need to worry about is it. Your soul is unique and cannot be compared with any other.

Life is unique and precious, don't waste time despairing, feeling sorry for yourself, or blaming yourself or anyone else that your life is not what you wanted it to be.

Try to do what few people can do in stressful life situations - try to make the most of what you have at the moment!

This does not mean that you have to give up, leave and be content with what you have, put up with the offer and give up. It simply means that you must learn to enjoy what you have now and fight for what you want at the same time.

We often see this life as cruel, serious, tense. We allow our worries and problems to completely eclipse the sun that should shine every day of our lives. And this is wrong. It only matters if we know how to enjoy life.

What we can and want to learn, discover, know, love... People, situations, circumstances, objects, real estate cross our lives, trying to teach us to know ourselves better. With them, the only path leads to the center of our souls.

Since nothing in this world lasts forever and we do not own anything forever, we must follow this:

  1. Do not look at life with discouragement!
  2. Plan your best weather.
  3. Do not include only obligations in your plans, but also entertainment!
  4. Spend more time with people who inspire you with positive energy.
    Learn more