Husband and depression
SAMHSA’s National Helpline | SAMHSA
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SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
Also visit the online treatment locator.
SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.
Also visit the online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message: 435748 (HELP4U) to find help near you. Read more about the HELP4U text messaging service.
The service is open 24/7, 365 days a year.
English and Spanish are available if you select the option to speak with a national representative. Currently, the 435748 (HELP4U) text messaging service is only available in English.
In 2020, the Helpline received 833,598 calls. This is a 27 percent increase from 2019, when the Helpline received a total of 656,953 calls for the year.
The referral service is free of charge. If you have no insurance or are underinsured, we will refer you to your state office, which is responsible for state-funded treatment programs. In addition, we can often refer you to facilities that charge on a sliding fee scale or accept Medicare or Medicaid. If you have health insurance, you are encouraged to contact your insurer for a list of participating health care providers and facilities.
The service is confidential. We will not ask you for any personal information. We may ask for your zip code or other pertinent geographic information in order to track calls being routed to other offices or to accurately identify the local resources appropriate to your needs.
No, we do not provide counseling. Trained information specialists answer calls, transfer callers to state services or other appropriate intake centers in their states, and connect them with local assistance and support.
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Suggested Resources
What Is Substance Abuse Treatment? A Booklet for Families
Created for family members of people with alcohol abuse or drug abuse problems. Answers questions about substance abuse, its symptoms, different types of treatment, and recovery. Addresses concerns of children of parents with substance use/abuse problems.It's Not Your Fault (NACoA) (PDF | 12 KB)
Assures teens with parents who abuse alcohol or drugs that, "It's not your fault!" and that they are not alone. Encourages teens to seek emotional support from other adults, school counselors, and youth support groups such as Alateen, and provides a resource list.After an Attempt: A Guide for Taking Care of Your Family Member After Treatment in the Emergency Department
Aids family members in coping with the aftermath of a relative's suicide attempt. Describes the emergency department treatment process, lists questions to ask about follow-up treatment, and describes how to reduce risk and ensure safety at home.Family Therapy Can Help: For People in Recovery From Mental Illness or Addiction
Explores the role of family therapy in recovery from mental illness or substance abuse. Explains how family therapy sessions are run and who conducts them, describes a typical session, and provides information on its effectiveness in recovery.For additional resources, please visit the SAMHSA Store.
Last Updated: 08/30/2022
Alcohol, Tobacco, and Other Drugs
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Misusing alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs can have both immediate and long-term health effects.The misuse and abuse of alcohol, tobacco, illicit drugs, and prescription medications affect the health and well-being of millions of Americans. NSDUH estimates allow researchers, clinicians, policymakers, and the general public to better understand and improve the nation’s behavioral health. These reports and detailed tables present estimates from the 2021 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH).
Alcohol
Data:
- Among the 133.1 million current alcohol users aged 12 or older in 2021, 60.0 million people (or 45.1%) were past month binge drinkers. The percentage of people who were past month binge drinkers was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (29.2% or 9.8 million people), followed by adults aged 26 or older (22.4% or 49.3 million people), then by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (3.8% or 995,000 people). (2021 NSDUH)
- Among people aged 12 to 20 in 2021, 15.1% (or 5.9 million people) were past month alcohol users. Estimates of binge alcohol use and heavy alcohol use in the past month among underage people were 8.3% (or 3.2 million people) and 1.6% (or 613,000 people), respectively. (2021 NSDUH)
- In 2020, 50.0% of people aged 12 or older (or 138.5 million people) used alcohol in the past month (i.e., current alcohol users) (2020 NSDUH)
- Among the 138.5 million people who were current alcohol users, 61.6 million people (or 44. 4%) were classified as binge drinkers and 17.7 million people (28.8% of current binge drinkers and 12.8% of current alcohol users) were classified as heavy drinkers (2020 NSDUH)
- The percentage of people who were past month binge alcohol users was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (31.4%) compared with 22.9% of adults aged 26 or older and 4.1% of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (2020 NSDUH)
- Excessive alcohol use can increase a person’s risk of stroke, liver cirrhosis, alcoholic hepatitis, cancer, and other serious health conditions
- Excessive alcohol use can also lead to risk-taking behavior, including driving while impaired. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that 29 people in the United States die in motor vehicle crashes that involve an alcohol-impaired driver daily
Programs/Initiatives:
- STOP Underage Drinking interagency portal - Interagency Coordinating Committee on the Prevention of Underage Drinking
- Interagency Coordinating Committee on the Prevention of Underage Drinking
- Talk. They Hear You.
- Underage Drinking: Myths vs. Facts
- Talking with your College-Bound Young Adult About Alcohol
Relevant links:
- National Association of State Alcohol and Drug Abuse Directors
- Department of Transportation Office of Drug & Alcohol Policy & Compliance
- Alcohol Policy Information Systems Database (APIS)
- National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism
Tobacco
Data:
- In 2020, 20.7% of people aged 12 or older (or 57.3 million people) used nicotine products (i.e., used tobacco products or vaped nicotine) in the past month (2020 NSDUH)
- Among past month users of nicotine products, nearly two thirds of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (63.1%) vaped nicotine but did not use tobacco products. In contrast, 88.9% of past month nicotine product users aged 26 or older used only tobacco products (2020 NSDUH)
- Tobacco use is the leading cause of preventable death, often leading to lung cancer, respiratory disorders, heart disease, stroke, and other serious illnesses. The CDC reports that cigarette smoking causes more than 480,000 deaths each year in the United States
- The CDC’s Office on Smoking and Health reports that more than 16 million Americans are living with a disease caused by smoking cigarettes
Electronic cigarette (e-cigarette) use data:
- In 2021, 13.2 million people aged 12 or older (or 4.7%) used an e-cigarette or other vaping device to vape nicotine in the past month. The percentage of people who vaped nicotine was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (14.1% or 4.7 million people), followed by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (5.2% or 1.4 million people), then by adults aged 26 or older (3.2% or 7.1 million people).
- Among people aged 12 to 20 in 2021, 11.0% (or 4.3 million people) used tobacco products or used an e-cigarette or other vaping device to vape nicotine in the past month. Among people in this age group, 8.1% (or 3.1 million people) vaped nicotine, 5.4% (or 2.1 million people) used tobacco products, and 3. 4% (or 1.3 million people) smoked cigarettes in the past month. (2021 NSDUH)
- Data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s 2020 National Youth Tobacco Survey. Among both middle and high school students, current use of e-cigarettes declined from 2019 to 2020, reversing previous trends and returning current e-cigarette use to levels similar to those observed in 2018
- E-cigarettes are not safe for youth, young adults, or pregnant women, especially because they contain nicotine and other chemicals
Resources:
- Tips for Teens: Tobacco
- Tips for Teens: E-cigarettes
- Implementing Tobacco Cessation Programs in Substance Use Disorder Treatment Settings
- Synar Amendment Program
Links:
- Truth Initiative
- FDA Center for Tobacco Products
- CDC Office on Smoking and Health
- National Institute on Drug Abuse: Tobacco, Nicotine, and E-Cigarettes
- National Institute on Drug Abuse: E-Cigarettes
Opioids
Data:
- Among people aged 12 or older in 2021, 3. 3% (or 9.2 million people) misused opioids (heroin or prescription pain relievers) in the past year. Among the 9.2 million people who misused opioids in the past year, 8.7 million people misused prescription pain relievers compared with 1.1 million people who used heroin. These numbers include 574,000 people who both misused prescription pain relievers and used heroin in the past year. (2021 NSDUH)
- Among people aged 12 or older in 2020, 3.4% (or 9.5 million people) misused opioids in the past year. Among the 9.5 million people who misused opioids in the past year, 9.3 million people misused prescription pain relievers and 902,000 people used heroin (2020 NSDUH)
- According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Understanding the Epidemic, an average of 128 Americans die every day from an opioid overdose
Resources:
- Medication-Assisted Treatment
- Opioid Overdose Prevention Toolkit
- TIP 63: Medications for Opioid Use Disorder
- Use of Medication-Assisted Treatment for Opioid Use Disorder in Criminal Justice Settings
- Opioid Use Disorder and Pregnancy
- Clinical Guidance for Treating Pregnant and Parenting Women With Opioid Use Disorder and Their Infants
- The Facts about Buprenorphine for Treatment of Opioid Addiction
- Pregnancy Planning for Women Being Treated for Opioid Use Disorder
- Tips for Teens: Opioids
- Rural Opioid Technical Assistance Grants
- Tribal Opioid Response Grants
- Provider’s Clinical Support System - Medication Assisted Treatment Grant Program
Links:
- National Institute on Drug Abuse: Opioids
- National Institute on Drug Abuse: Heroin
- HHS Prevent Opioid Abuse
- Community Anti-Drug Coalitions of America
- Addiction Technology Transfer Center (ATTC) Network
- Prevention Technology Transfer Center (PTTC) Network
Marijuana
Data:
- In 2021, marijuana was the most commonly used illicit drug, with 18. 7% of people aged 12 or older (or 52.5 million people) using it in the past year. The percentage was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (35.4% or 11.8 million people), followed by adults aged 26 or older (17.2% or 37.9 million people), then by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (10.5% or 2.7 million people).
- The percentage of people who used marijuana in the past year was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (34.5%) compared with 16.3% of adults aged 26 or older and 10.1% of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (2020 NSDUH)
- Marijuana can impair judgment and distort perception in the short term and can lead to memory impairment in the long term
- Marijuana can have significant health effects on youth and pregnant women.
Resources:
- Know the Risks of Marijuana
- Marijuana and Pregnancy
- Tips for Teens: Marijuana
Relevant links:
- National Institute on Drug Abuse: Marijuana
- Addiction Technology Transfer Centers on Marijuana
- CDC Marijuana and Public Health
Emerging Trends in Substance Misuse:
- Methamphetamine—In 2019, NSDUH data show that approximately 2 million people used methamphetamine in the past year. Approximately 1 million people had a methamphetamine use disorder, which was higher than the percentage in 2016, but similar to the percentages in 2015 and 2018. The National Institute on Drug Abuse Data shows that overdose death rates involving methamphetamine have quadrupled from 2011 to 2017. Frequent meth use is associated with mood disturbances, hallucinations, and paranoia.
- Cocaine—In 2019, NSDUH data show an estimated 5.5 million people aged 12 or older were past users of cocaine, including about 778,000 users of crack. The CDC reports that overdose deaths involving have increased by one-third from 2016 to 2017. In the short term, cocaine use can result in increased blood pressure, restlessness, and irritability. In the long term, severe medical complications of cocaine use include heart attacks, seizures, and abdominal pain.
- Kratom—In 2019, NSDUH data show that about 825,000 people had used Kratom in the past month. Kratom is a tropical plant that grows naturally in Southeast Asia with leaves that can have psychotropic effects by affecting opioid brain receptors. It is currently unregulated and has risk of abuse and dependence. The National Institute on Drug Abuse reports that health effects of Kratom can include nausea, itching, seizures, and hallucinations.
Resources:
- Tips for Teens: Methamphetamine
- Tips for Teens: Cocaine
- National Institute on Drug Abuse
More SAMHSA publications on substance use prevention and treatment.
Last Updated: 01/05/2023
How to live with a partner in depression
If one person in a couple develops depression, it becomes a difficult situation for the other. We are not accustomed to thinking of depression as a disease, despite the fact that it is surprisingly widespread - at any moment in the movie theater or in the mall there is a person who has been clinically diagnosed with this disease.
Today I want to talk about how to live with a person who is depressed . We will discuss who is at risk, how to distinguish depression from a "simple" life crisis. And let's be honest about the unpopular solutions to this problem.
- How depression starts
- How to distinguish depression from bad mood
- Why depression occurs
- What to do when your husband is depressed
- How to persuade to see a doctor
- How to explain the depression of one of the parents to children?
- Do's and Don'ts
- How to support yourself if your partner is depressed
My colleague Julia, author of a positive psychology blog, shared her family's experience and her husband's history of depression.
How depression begins
Three years ago Yulia moved to China with her husband, where he lived most of his life and successfully developed his company. Two months later, they went on a long (two years) journey, at the same time the first bells appeared - it became difficult for him to perform simple daily actions that had not previously been difficult - household or business-related.
Of course, at first they considered this a consequence of a change in the situation, but when they returned home, there was no improvement, the symptoms progressed. If earlier it was difficult for him to go to a meeting, then then answer the phone, write a letter. If, however, he gathered his courage, applied a strong-willed effort to complete the task, then then a “rollback” happened, it became even worse.
Self-criticism was added to the depressed state, which aggravated the already gloomy picture. A stable and adequate self-esteem of a successful entrepreneur has become unstable.
We don't expect depression to affect anyone in our family, much less a strong-willed, self-made person. This makes it difficult to be wary and seek help at the onset of the disease.
Often mistaken for depression
personality crises,
bad mood,
depression
How to distinguish depression from a bad mood
Personality crises, bad mood, depression under the influence of external circumstances are often mistaken for depression. This is what distinguishes depression:
- Difficulties in performing ordinary, everyday activities that do not create difficulties in the normal state. First it may be phone calls and then showering
- Over time, the symptoms increase, each such action requires more and more willpower
- The depressed state does not go away even when the external situation becomes prosperous
- The already difficult state of a person is aggravated by uncontrolled self-criticism and just a hellish feeling of guilt
Why depression occurs
Although depression is associated with an imbalance of biochemical processes in the body, such as diabetes, in contrast, it generates an oppressive feeling of guilt and self-worthlessness, which, individually, is difficult to bear, but together they tighten the noose. And it becomes more and more difficult to get out of it without help.
There are 2 types of depression:
- Endogenous is caused by a violation of the concentration of serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain. It can be hereditary and manifest itself with the change of seasons of the year or at other intervals. She does not need any external stresses and troubles.
- Psychogenic depression occurs for psychological reasons. It can also appear in quite successful people when a critical amount of mental pain accumulates. Often old, many years old.
Any kind of depression requires patience, care, and attention to the sick person. But often they are replaced by fatigue, anxiety for the future, helplessness and even anger. It is embarrassing to experience all these feelings. Guilt connects: “ He needs my support so much! I must endure, understand, love endlessly.
What to do when your husband is depressed
Realize and accept that this is a disease, and a person should be treated the same way as a person with diabetes, for example. This may take a long time.
Very often people with depression keep up with friends and strangers, but when they are with their wives, they lose their temper. And their bad mood is a huge risk factor for a person who is constantly around.
Psychogenic depression occurs
for psychological reasons.
may appear even successful people
Separate the wheat from the chaff. Understand that his dejected state, perhaps rudeness, decadent moods are manifestations of the disease, and not his attitude towards you.
Do not plunge into its hopelessness, so as not to drown yourself. Julia, whose story we started with, found it very useful to study positive psychology in order to support herself.
In this situation, self-flagellation is useless: “ Now, if I were a good wife, this would not have happened, I could have prevented it”, , etc. Most likely no. It is unlikely that if you were more diligent in the role of a wife, it would help your husband to withstand the emerging illness.
Be aware of the characteristic features of depression - acute feelings of guilt and worthlessness. This is the key difference between depression, a feeling that is impossible to try on when you are healthy.
Keep your responsibility, give it to him. You cannot be responsible for the partner's status. It is impossible to follow the path of recovery for a partner, no matter how clearly you see it. All you can do is support. Only he can make his own steps. Your task is to maintain your own resourceful or at least normal state.
How to persuade a doctor to see a doctor
When we are depressed, we are faced with a cognitive distortion: a person feels that no help can help him, nothing good will ever happen, there is no hope that someone or something will help “such a terrible to him".
For the wife, the way out seems obvious, it is nearby - you just need to see a doctor.
Many men don't even want to hear about contacting a specialist. Even if a person does not deny the existence of a problem, it is still very difficult to bring him to the doctor.
You cannot instill in your husband the desire to go to him. You can't move his legs. And this impossibility is very difficult to accept. There is a feeling of the futility of their efforts, and one can only grieve about this.
Partner can say:
- I'm with you
- I am ready to help
- When you're ready, tell me and we'll make this decision together
- Here, I have a solution, the doctor's phone number, I think it's good for this and that. When you're ready, let me know and I'll make an appointment for you
- Tell me when you're ready, I'll arrange everything
How to explain to children the depression of one of the parents?
It can be said to kids that dad/mum is ill, so he (she) needs to rest a bit, gather his strength. And you don't have to be scared.
For older children, it is quite acceptable and even desirable to explain in more detail that the father/mother's brain has not produced enough hormones, so he/she cannot live at the same pace as before, and must comply with the regimen. In any case, you should not hush up the situation, escalate fear, or vice versa, promise the child that "daddy will sleep a little now and everything will pass."
Correct and kind
to a partner in depression —
is to give yourself space
for a normal life
What not to do
- Make a strict plan supportive actions
At the first suspicion of depression, Yulia and her husband made a sleep schedule (it is important to sleep at least 8 hours, for example) and nutrition, exercise in order to get out on her own.
But they approached the observance of the regime too carefully. When it was not possible to support him, the husband was even more immersed in the feeling of his badness.
- Trying to measure the complexity of the situation with “one’s own ruler”
It is impossible for a partner to imagine and difficult to accept how little a depressed person needs to fall into a bottomless pit of worthlessness. For example, from the fact that he overslept and violated the regime.
It is impossible for a healthy person to truly try on the sense of self of a sick partner. You can only roughly imagine it and constantly remember.
- Hide your feelings
To remain silent and say nothing about your feelings, to pretend that there is no problem, being afraid to upset your husband is not an option. As well as pouring out all your anxiety and anxiety on your partner. It is possible and necessary to share carefully, balancing the risk and benefit in each case.
- Sacrificing oneself for the sake of something incomprehensible, if the husband does not believe in treatment or does not recognize the presence of the disease
It is important to remember that everyone has their own resource. Determine how much this state of affairs destroys you. And determine the time frame in which you are ready to be with a partner in depression, without risking collapse after.
There are some types of depression which have socially acceptable forms . And someone is quite capable of living with such a partner. But if you feel that you can’t endure it endlessly, that it undermines your vitality, honestly answer yourself the question of how long you are ready to be with him if the situation does not change, and he does not take any measures to improve his condition. .
How to support yourself if your partner is depressed
- It is very important to understand yourself and your feelings
Conscious meditation can help with this, which teaches you to separate what is happening outside of you from what is inside. Observe what exactly you are reacting to, what you are worried about - from how things are in reality, or from the likelihood of an unfavorable development of events in the future.
When anxiety sets in, you can focus on bodily sensations . Focus on how firmly you feel the floor with your feet or how comfortable you are sitting, that nothing hurts in your body, the room is at a comfortable temperature.
Everyone has their own resource
Determine
how much
destroys you such a state of affairs
Think about what keeps you going: a meaningful job, a hobby you love, maybe you have the opportunity to eat fresh fruit every day, other delicious food that gives energy. Around you is your cozy home, a prosperous lifestyle, small familiar joys - focus on the sensations from them. This is how we expand the ball of comfort around us.
If you feel good physically, then all the discomfort is caused by "terrible if" thoughts. About what will happen to you if…
- It is important to be able to separate yourself from your disturbing thoughts
Developing a "compassionate observer" in yourself helps a lot - the ability to talk to yourself carefully and with sympathy, as with a good friend:
Develop a "compassionate observer" in yourself: "Yes, you have such a situation now. Honey, how hard it is. Such a period is now. What a pity you have to go through this."
Your husband is depressed, that's a fact. But the wife should not suffer solely because the husband is now unhappy. You need to support yourself, because if you collapse, then you definitely won’t help anyone.
- Allowing yourself to experience positive emotions is important
Allow yourself to laugh, meet friends, engage in hobbies, watch comedies. You do not betray his sadness by this. It's just that at least one of you should stand firmly on your feet, so that later you can help the other one return to a normal life in the family.
It is hard for any person to be a source of suffering for his loved ones. If you support yourself, experience positive emotions, then this lightens its burden. For post-Soviet women, this may be counter-intuitive. But if you are constantly sad, then the sick person will drown in the abyss of his guilt for pulling you along with him.
It is correct and kind to a partner in depression is to give yourself space for a normal life.
Please remember what you want to achieve and keep it focused: so that he, we feel better - do not suffer and donate . You cannot live his pain for a person, walk his path, no matter how closely you are connected.
Your life is bigger than your problem. Your life goes on. This experience gives a great increase in inner maturity.
signs of depression in your boyfriend
If you notice that your relationship with your beloved man has changed dramatically for the worse, and it’s his fault, if your lover has begun to treat you completely differently than before, do not rush to blame him. It may very well be that your sweetheart is depressed. Now we will tell you how to recognize it.
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Guess
Always so level-headed and caring, he suddenly rolls up a row over an egg not boiled in a bag, as he likes, but hard boiled. A day later, your skirt falls under a hot hand: "The limit of bad taste, how can you buy this?" Hearing a timid remark that he himself chose her for you last year, he is offendedly silent for three hours. Further - even worse. He does not go to his best friend's birthday and generally stops going anywhere. He doesn’t call his mother for a month (it’s better not to remember about yours with him). Complains of chest pain and insomnia. You sort through the versions: fell out of love, problems at work, secret debts, a midlife crisis, aliens and fell out of love again ...
Attempts to understand and cheer up are replaced by confusion, resentment and even anger: “How much can you do? Which of us is a woman with a weak psyche, and who is the head of the family and the man in the house? However, this does not give results, at least not positive ones. If time passes, and the condition of a loved one remains the same, worsens or even becomes unpredictable, we can talk about depression.
In contrast to a bad mood, she sucks in completely and does not let go. You need to take the problem seriously. Psychologist, candidate of sociological sciences Anetta Orlova urges not to confuse depression with blues and not to consider it the prerogative of the weaker sex: “This disease is considered to be female. But every year, about eight million men in Russia experience a bout of depression. With one this happens once in a lifetime, and the other begins to suffer bouts of recurring depression.
Refine
How to understand that a man has a disease, and not a bad character, which he successfully hid during the period of courtship? Typically, depression is characterized by a complex of symptoms. Psychologist Nadezhda Zarochintseva advises to take a closer look at your partner: “Sudden pain (most often in the heart), sleep disturbance, loss of appetite and sexual desire, apathy, nervousness are the main symptoms of depression along with a low emotional background, stunted speech and movements, aggressiveness, gambling , extreme sports or excessive physical activity.
Be careful: if for a week he sadly and intently studies the ceiling, and then suddenly jumps up and rushes in a car to St. Petersburg to look at the bridges, this does not mean that the depression has receded. On the contrary, you need to be careful.
“Periods of excitement, screaming and swearing can be replaced by complete indifference to what is happening around,” warns Nadezhda Zarochintseva. “Today he spends money in the casino, tomorrow he flies to the Alps for off-piste skiing from a helicopter, and a week later he is already lying at home with an indifferent look. Depression also affects sexual function. A man in horror thinks about impotence, you think about a rival, but in fact the problem is in his head.
There are several types of depression. The rarest, endogenous, is caused and associated with the work of the brain - fortunately, it overtakes only 1% of the population. Somatogenic manifests itself against the background of injury or illness, and psychogenic is usually caused by the loss or illness of loved ones, serious disappointment, lack of money.
“Diagnosing depression in women is much easier than in men. Boys are used to hiding their emotions and experiences, so pay close attention to what is happening in the life of a loved one and his reaction to events, advises Nadezhda Zarochintseva. “If a depressed man is left unattended, he may begin to seek solace in alcohol and even consider suicide.”
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Help
Few people can get out of depression on their own. A man in such a situation needs your help, and in difficult cases, also a professional consultation. Do not expect that during the first conversation you will merge into an embrace and your tears will mix. Most likely, you will come across aggression and a rude "Don't touch me, everything is fine." Do not insist, do not provoke frank conversations, but constantly emphasize your love and show care. Be interested in how the day went, how you feel, what to cook for dinner. But do not go to extremes: plunging into the experiences of a loved one, you risk your own mental health, and no one needs this, especially in such a situation.
Seemingly fair maxims about the miners in the slaughter and the starving people of Africa, who are much more difficult, should not be used. After all, the perception of depression as a frivolous problem makes people hide the pain even from their closest ones. Do not make this mistake: show that you understand and accept experiences and your man has the right to them. Think about how to distract your loved one. Even a trip to a neighboring city for the weekend, walks, proper nutrition and tireless sports will help to cope with a mild form.
And work with your immediate environment. Ask his parents not to be offended by a harsh tone and not to cling to trifles, tell what is happening to mutual friends: let them dispense with the questions “Why are you so sad, old man?” and visit you more often.
If a man loves animals, offer to get a cat or a dog: animals, like fresh air, help relieve nervous tension (only this decision should be as balanced as possible, we are talking about a living being).
If you understand that depression is serious and you cannot cope even together, persuade your loved one to go to a psychologist. Explain that this is a common illness and a visit to a specialist is as necessary as a visit to the dentist for pulpitis. Yes, it’s not pleasant enough, but you can’t pull it, it will only get worse.
By the way, many representatives of the stronger sex react much better to the word "neurologist". You can start with this doctor, as if about insomnia and palpitations. The specialist, most likely, will be with you at the same time, in addition to physiotherapy, he will advise the same psychologist. In extreme cases, you go to him yourself: he will tell you what tactics to work out and how not to get depressed from what is happening.
Cold head
It happens that the reason for rudeness and bad mood is really caused by cooling towards you. The symptoms may seem similar, but only at first glance.
You have relationship problems
- He moved from the bedroom to the sofa in the living room. He does not kiss, does not hug, there is no talk of sex at all.
- He doesn't like everything you do, from soup to new hair. At the same time, his bad mood does not apply to friends, colleagues and sellers in the store.
- Weekends and holidays are no longer family days. Every weekend he disappears somewhere, returns late, with lipstick marks on his shirt, sometimes tipsy.
- He generally stopped giving you flowers, making coffee in the morning, but he bought himself three new sweaters, four ties and perfume at once.
- Your favorite series "Friends" has stopped making him laugh - he demands to immediately turn off this muck.
He is depressed
- Sex happens, but often a man is insolvent, which makes him angry or withdraws into himself.