Help with frustration
18 Ways to Cope with Frustration
Frustration can be hard to put into words – it’s a complicated mix of anger, disappointment, and annoyance. For most health care workers, frustration levels are particularly high right now as many face PPE shortages, minimal workplace support, and a seemingly careless general public. Anger and frustration aren’t always productive emotions, and while we can’t necessarily control that we feel them, we can control how we react to them. If you need to release some of your pent-up negative energy, here are some healthy ways to do so:
- Do some breathing exercises: when having a strong emotional response, you may notice your breath getting faster and shallower. By regulating your breathing, you can get more oxygen to your brain and help yourself calm down. A good technique is 4-7-8 breathing: breathe in for four seconds, hold for seven, breathe out for eight
- Progressive muscle relaxation: one of the ways our bodies respond to heightened emotion is with muscle tension.
Relieving that physical tension will help your mind relax too. Lay down and work your way through each muscle group: tense as you slowly inhale, and release as you slowly exhale. If you prefer some instruction, try a guided audio.
- Meditate: Meditation can be a great way to connect with your feelings, but it can also help you create space between your thoughts and emotions as you settle into self-awareness. Download an app like Headspace or Calm and look for a guided meditation that fits how you’re feeling.
- Exercise: Physical activity is a mood booster, helps you regulate stress and adrenaline, and is a healthy way to release pent-up energy. If you can, try going for a run and really focus on your feet hitting the ground. If you prefer instruction, see if your local gym has online classes or search for your favorite type of workout on YouTube.
- Yoga: If you prefer low-impact workouts, yoga is a great way to get your body moving in a meaningful way.
Yoga Pose has an online directory of poses searchable by symptom (like anxiety or back pain) and has categories including poses for calmness.
- Vent: Ruminating on your anger only perpetuates it, so give yourself some time to let it all out with a trusted friend. As long as you don’t focus on it for too long, venting can be a healthy emotional outlet – just try to keep it to 15 minutes, and then move on to more positive conversation. If you want to vent anonymously, try an app like Lyf or reach out to Magellan Health’s free crisis hotline for frontline workers at 1(800) 327-7451.
- Journal: If you’re dealing with the the kind of frustration where you can’t even think straight, try writing (or typing) it all out. This can help you process a situation and calm your brain down so you can approach the issue with a more level head.
- Get outside: Spend some time in your backyard, go for a walk around the block, or head to your favorite park.
If you’re crunched for time, even just stepping out for 60 seconds of fresh air can help you recalibrate. To really help ground yourself, slip off your shoes and let your bare feet touch the dirt or grass.
- Manage your expectations of others: Often, negative feelings come from misaligned expectations. Recognize that you can’t fully anticipate anyone else’s behavior; change your own mental framework so that you aren’t holding them to standards they won’t meet – it’s only hurting you.
- Treat yourself: Sometimes you just want to lay on the couch with a bag of chips and your favorite movie, and that’s OK! As long as it doesn’t become an unhealthy habit, there’s nothing wrong with treating yourself to some guilty pleasures.
- Spend some time with animals: Many people find animals to be a source of comfort and support. Interacting with animals has been shown to decrease levels of cortisol (a stress hormone) and lower blood pressure, as well as elevate levels of serotonin and dopamine, which calm and relax[i].
- Distract yourself: Leaning into feelings doesn’t always help. If you need to detach from your anger, try doing something that requires focus (like a puzzle or reading).
- Take a nap: We all need a brief reset at times. If you hit a wall where you are completely overwhelmed with everything going on, set a timer for 20 minutes and climb into bed. The rest will do your brain well and checking out for a little bit often helps you go about the rest of your day with a fresh start.
- Start a garden or get a new houseplant: Numerous studies have found that the act of gardening can be beneficial for numerous health outcomes, including anxiety and stress reduction[ii]. Don’t have the outdoor space? Taking care of an indoor plant has similar effects on your mental health[iii].
- Get creative: Art is a great tool for emotional expression. Crafting, drawing, painting, writing poetry, and other art forms are all healthy ways to channel your anger into something fun.
- Turn on some music: Music has a powerful effect on our brains. Search for a playlist of relaxing or happy music to turn your frustration into a more enjoyable emotion. Bonus points if you dance it out!
- Get organized: Take ten minutes to clean, plan, or otherwise streamline something in your life. Turning your extra energy into something productive will not only help you get rid of some of that frustration, but you’ll also have accomplished something.
- Wash your face: It seems so simple but putting cold water on your face doesn’t just feel refreshing – it triggers your mammalian diving reflex which slows your heart rate and breathing. By reducing the physical symptoms of frustration, you can interrupt your brain’s feedback loop and reduce your emotional frustration as well.
[i] National Institutes of Health. (February 2018). The power of pets: Health benefits of human-animal interactions.
NIH News in Health. https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2018/02/power-pets
[ii] Soga, M., Gaston, K.J., & Yamaura, Y. (2017). Gardening is beneficial for health: A meta-analysis. Preventive Medicine Reports, 5, 92-99. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pmedr.2016.11.007
[iii] Lee, M.S., Lee, J., Park, B.J., & Miyazaki, Y. (2015). Interaction with indoor plants may reduce psychological and physiological stress by suppressing autonomic nervous system activity in young adults: a randomized crossover study. Journal of Physiological Anthropology, 34(1). DOI: 10.1186/s40101-015-0060-8
Dealing with Anger and Frustration
Dealing with Anger and Frustration
In challenging times, you may find that you have little patience with other people or get upset over minor things. Anger and frustration are complicated emotions that often stem from other feelings, like disappointment, fear, and stress. Taking some extra steps to decrease your overall tension can prevent your feelings (and the reactions that they cause) from spiraling out of control.
Fast Facts
- Of people who took an anxiety screen at mhascreening.org in 2020, 71% felt easily annoyed or irritable at least half of the time or nearly every day. [1]
- Of people who took a bipolar screen at mhascreening.org in 2020, 82% reported being so irritable that they shouted at people or started ÿghts or arguments. [2]
- One poll found that 91% of respondents said that they feel people are more likely to express their anger on social media than they are face-to-face. [3]
Tips for Coping
| Pause before reacting. When you feel yourself getting mad, take a moment to notice what you’re thinking, then take a few deep breaths or count to ten in your head. By giving yourself even just a few seconds before reacting, you can put some emotional distance between you and whatever is upsetting you – and you might even realize that you’re actually tense because of something else. | |
| Change your surroundings. Anger can make you feel trapped. Whether you’re mad at someone in the same room as you or just angry at the world, sometimes physically relocating yourself can help you start to calm down. Go to another room or step outside for a few minutes of fresh air to help disrupt the track that your mind is on. | |
| Get it all out. Keeping your feelings bottled up never works, so allow yourself time to be angry and complain. As long as you don’t focus on it for too long, venting can be a healthy outlet for your anger. You can open up to a trusted friend or write it all down in a journal. Sometimes it feels better to pretend to talk directly to the person (or situation) that you’re angry at – pick an empty chair, pretend they’re sitting in it, and say what you need to get off your chest. | |
| Release built-up energy. Anger is a high-energy emotion, and we store that energy and tension physically in our bodies. | |
| Get organized. When things around you feel chaotic, it’s often a lot easier to get frustrated and snap at people. Dedicate a few minutes each day to tidying, planning, or reorganizing. Implementing a routine can also help you feel more on top of things by adding structure and certainty to your daily life. | |
| Eliminate stressors if possible. Sometimes there’s no way to completely get rid of a big problem, but there’s often more than just one issue contributing to your frustration. | |
| Manage your expectations. Negative feelings often stem from people or situations not meeting your standards or assumptions. It’s frustrating to feel let down but recognize that you can’t fully predict anyone else’s behavior or how situations will play out. Shift your mental framework so that you aren’t setting yourself up for disappointment. | |
| Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you’re working to cope with your anger but feel like you can’t get it under control, it’s time to get some extra support. Anger can fester and become explosive if not resolved. A number of mental health conditions can manifest as anger, so this may actually be a sign of depression or anxiety – treating an underlying condition can help heal your anger as well. |
Exercise is a great way to get rid of extra energy and can improve your mood. Some people find grounding exercises (like meditation or deep breathing) helpful to calm intense feelings, while others prefer more high-impact activities like running or weightlifting. Think about what you usually do to decompress, like taking a hot shower or blasting your favorite music, and use the tools that you know work for you. 
Things like an overwhelming workload or unhealthy relationship can make you feel on edge. Pay attention to how and why you’re feeling stressed and see if you can make small changes to improve a challenging situation to make it less burdensome. 
Get Screened Now
| Sources |
| 1. Proprietary data. MHAScreening.org. 2020. 2. Ibid. 3. IBM Watson Health-NPR Health Poll. November 1-14, 2018. https://www.ibm.com/downloads/cas/2YQ8NLD5 |
What to do when things don't go the way we expect
November 20, 2014 Life
How to deal with disappointment? Does it really have such a detrimental effect on us as we used to think? Quora users asked these questions, arranging a lively discussion, the most interesting opinions of which we want to share with you.
No expectations - no disappointments
We live by setting goals and expecting that when we achieve them, we will get what we want. We live, thinking that we have friends, expecting that they will come to our aid in a difficult situation. We think that we will always be welcome at home.
But, as everyone knows, in our world, not everything always happens as we expect.
If you own a car dealership, you might set a goal to sell 25 cars a month, but actually sell only 8.
Why?
Because you have set yourself an overly ambitious goal, which you cannot achieve yet due to a lack of resources, connections and other things.
We can expect our friends to listen to us when we are depressed. But sometimes they don't drop everything at all and rush to our aid. And we in such a situation feel that they are ignoring us, our friends do not give a damn about us.
Why?
Because we expect too much from our friends when they have their own lives and their own problems.
Every morning we calculate the way to work: if I leave this moment, I will arrive there in an hour. If our car stalls on the road, we panic - because we are late, and besides, we have one more extra problem.
Why?
Because we expect the world to play by our rules.
All expectations often lead to one result - to disappointment. We cannot achieve absolutely all the goals that we set for ourselves. Our friends cannot always be with us. We can't always get where we're going in time.
The best way to deal with disappointment is not to expect anything.
No expectations, no disappointments.
This is one of the most difficult lessons: you must work on yourself and not expect anything from the world.
An easy way to deal with disappointment
1. Manage your emotions
This is the very first and most important step towards resolving any difficulties. Do not let your emotions get the best of you, do not make important decisions until you calm down, even if it takes you several hours or days.
2. Never take anything personally
Many of us are ready to attribute everything bad that happens to us to our personal shortcomings.
We say we don't deserve to get this or become this or that yet, we think we're "just not good enough".
Stop torturing yourself. This is perhaps the most important.
Do not be afraid to ask for help
- Do not be afraid to ask for help: from family, friends and acquaintances. And never seek revenge on those who made you suffer - nothing good will ever come of it.
- Take care of your health: don't forget to get enough sleep and eat right.
- Be alone with your thoughts, put magazines and newspapers aside, turn off the TV and stay away from the Internet.
Understand that not everything always goes as we plan
At any moment, things can go wrong as you planned, and you should always be prepared for the consequences. This is the best way to deal with disappointments that were, are and will be.
Just accept everything that happened
Just accept everything that happened. Or live with regrets for the next few years.
Why worry about what we can no longer change?
Life does not always give us what we want. It's hard to accept, but in the end, realizing it will make us stronger.
Sounds absurd, but sometimes when we don't get what we want, that's the best outcome.
Disappointment is valuable
Disappointment is a wonderful experience not to be avoided. Think about it from the point of view of a child. If he had received everything he wanted from the very beginning of his life, without knowing the refusal, he would never have learned to be grateful.
Disappointments are valuable - they make us human.
Direct your emotions in the right direction
Disappointments drain us. But go from the opposite: instead of wasting energy on anger and worries about what can no longer be changed, direct your emotions in the right direction. Learn something new, help someone, or create something. This will help you relax. Moreover, it will help you to benefit even from a situation that, at first glance, seemed hopeless to you.
What do you think about this?
Help, how to survive the pain of disappointment and separation?
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9000 #3 9000 January 4, 2017, 05:53 PM
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#9000 #9000 #9000 #9000 #9000 #9000 #9000 #9000 #9000 #9000 #9000 #9000 #9000 #9000 #9000 #9000 #
Yes, I sneezed in your face, go teach people who need it, I'm here Aunt with another problem turned and obviously not to you, would you go past the cash register
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Guest
Russian language or learn better 9Thank you! Have you been experiencing this for 10 months now? When did it get easier?
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#15 9000
I even even I left the country to my friends, it got even worse there, I constantly try to communicate with someone where to go, but to no avail, I come home and roar, I forgot everything about him, but mooozg, how does he do this to us ???! The pain is so
#16
Anastasia
And you would have more thoughts of
#17
Thank you, I will be a lot believe, good luck to you!
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#19
Anastasia
Yes, take up literacy, and then you will correspond only to loaders and gastricians, you will have it.
just marry them. A smart and good guy will immediately merge.
Yes, I sneezed in your face, go teach people who need it, I'm here Aunt turned with another problem and obviously not to you, would you go past the cash register
#26
For all the time, all my girlfriends scream with one voice that I just need to be happy, which took me away from such an asshole, I probably drove the girls myself, because now I have to do special work and nothing, thank you
Unreliable stories
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I am infuriated by my husband with his children and grandchildren .
.. 1,440 answers
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The man immediately warned that all property was recorded for children
1 095 answers
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Such a salary - I don't want to work
710 answers
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A lie 22 years long. How to destroy?
965 responses
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Husband left, 2 months of depression... How will you cope if you are left all alone?
203 Request
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9000.000 #29
Anastasia
I understand women who were abandoned unexpectedly for them.
.. You can understand them. They were blind, they did not expect ... But when there was no normal relationship, why regret? Need to rejoice.
For all the time, all my friends shout with one voice that I just need to be happy, which took me away from such an asshole, I probably drove the girls myself, because now I don’t have much to do and nothing, thank you
#30
Anastasia
Hello friends! I broke up with my beloved for 3 years, we broke up because of our many quarrels and misunderstandings, and the last time I caught him on a dating site, I corresponded with him from another person, divorced him like a girl, after which he claims that it was not him, but a fake, but I know this can’t be, in general, in principle, he didn’t appreciate me in a relationship, but I don’t find a place for myself, why it’s so bad and painful, it’s been almost two months, and now the pain has only become more serene, I roar without a break, as I look into the future that without him, immediately tears of hysteria, how to cope, tried to communicate with others, but this only makes it worse
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#34
Sorry, with all due respect - it depends how You treat yourself, look more carefully - you know the feeling of the victim can drag on so much that it will be your usual state;)
Anastasia
how can I look into the future that without him, immediately hysterical tears, how to cope, tried to communicate with others, but this only makes it worse
New topics
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Mandatory conditions for a wealthy man - 4
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Pay for yourself?
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I cannot decide on my feelings for the guy
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Pets against pets
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to put themselves higher ?
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Anastasia
author, roar more now because apparently, you clearly understand what is really going on without him and he will not return.
how much it will hurt you - it's hard to say. Someone finds a new love in a couple of months, and someone forgets for years.
be strong and strong to you. everyone goes through this. and then they are happy. [/
Thank you! Have you been experiencing this for 10 months now? When did it get easier?#39
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9000 #41Elli
The author, I had a similar situation and I survived it, no matter how hard it was, no matter how long it all took place, always remember that it will pass, you will find a new love, you will be happy, I say this from my own experience, because . for a long time it seemed to me that the gap was not visible, no matter how I tried to distract myself, all the same, all thoughts returned only to him, I could not even just get carried away by someone else for a while.
Tips are banal, you will find them in any women's magazine - at first you can cry, feel sorry for yourself, let the offense go out, then you already need to actively change your life in everything - in appearance, travel, possibly work, try to find a new circle of friends, sign up for some some courses that you are interested in, the main thing - do not look for a meeting with him, do not look through his page on social networks, delete all memorabilia (photos and everything that reminds you), or at least put it away. How long will you forget this person no one he doesn’t know, it all dragged on for an obscenely long time for me - almost 3 years, I don’t want to scare you, but for my other friends in a similar situation, everything went much easier and faster. And yet - do not do anything that can humiliate you in your own eyes, do not impose yourself, do not try to return it, you will survive the separation, but you will remember your humiliation for a long time, so be proud and do not do stupid things.
