How to tell if your empathic
What Is An Empath? 15 Signs and Traits
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You may be an empathic person if you have a lot of empathy for others and good intuition but have difficulty setting boundaries. You also may be highly sensitive, overly aware of others’ feelings, or experience sensory discomfort.
Do you often feel deeply tuned in to the feelings of people around you? Do crowds make you uncomfortable? Would you (or the people closest to you) describe yourself as a sensitive person?
If so, you may be an empath.
Dr. Judith Orloff, a pioneer in the field, describes empaths as those who absorb the world’s joys and stresses like “emotional sponges.”
In her book “The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People,” she suggests empaths lack the filters most people use to protect themselves from excessive stimulation and can’t help but take in surrounding emotions and energies, whether they’re good, bad, or something in between.
Kim Egel, a San Diego-based therapist, expands this further: “Empaths have a higher sensitivity to outside stimuli such as sounds, big personalities, and hectic environments. They bring a lot of heart and care to the world and feel things very deeply.
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Sound familiar? Here are 15 other signs you might be an empath, along with tips for dealing with being one.
The term empath comes from empathy, which is the ability to understand the experiences and feelings of others outside of your own perspective.
Say your friend just lost their dog of 15 years. Empathy is what allows you to understand the level of pain she’s going through, even if you’ve never lost a beloved pet.
But as an empath, you take things a step further. You actually sense and feel emotions as if they’re part of your own experience. In other words, someone else’s pain and happiness become your pain and happiness.
Empaths often find frequent close contact difficult, which can make romantic relationships challenging.
You want to connect and develop a lasting partnership. But spending too much time with someone leads to stress, overwhelm, or worries about losing yourself in the relationship.
You might also notice sensory overload or a “frayed nerves” feeling from too much talking or touching.
But when you try to express your need for time alone, you absorb your partner’s hurt feelings and feel even more distressed.
Ever felt like you have a strong gut reaction to things that feel a bit off? Maybe you pick up on dishonesty easily or just know when something seems like a good (or bad) idea.
This may be your empath trait at work.
Empaths tend to be able to pick up on subtle cues that provide insight on the thoughts of others, suggests Barrie Sueskind, a therapist in Los Angeles who specializes in relationships. “An empath’s intuition often tells them whether someone is being truthful or not,” she says.
As an empath, you might put a lot of faith in your instincts when making decisions. Although others might consider you impulsive, you’re actually trusting your intuition to guide you to the choice that feels right for you.
Anyone can benefit from spending time in natural settings. But empaths may feel even more drawn to nature and remote areas, since natural environments provide a calming space to rest from overwhelming sensations, sounds, and emotions.
You might feel completely at peace when hiking alone in a sunlit forest or watching waves crash against the shore. Even a quiet walk through a garden or an hour sitting under trees may lift your spirits, soothe overstimulation, and help you relax.
According to Sueskind, empaths can absorb positive and negative energy just by being in someone’s presence. In crowded or busy places, this sensitivity may seem magnified to the point of being almost unbearable.
Egel agrees, adding that “empaths can be easily overwhelmed by feeling everything more intensely.” If you can easily sense how others feel, you’ll likely have a hard time handling the emotional “noise” from a crowd, or even a smaller group of people, for an extended period of time.
When you’re picking up on negative emotions, energy, or even physical distress from people around you, you might become overwhelmed or physically unwell. As a result, you may feel most comfortable on your own or in the company of just a few people at a time.
An empath doesn’t just feel for someone — they feel with someone.
Taking in others’ emotions so deeply can make you want to do something about them. “Empaths want to help,” Sueskind says. “But this isn’t always possible, which can disappoint an empath.”
You may find it difficult to watch someone struggle and act on your natural inclination to help ease their distress, even if that means absorbing it yourself.
Caring about the suffering of others isn’t a bad thing, but your concern for another’s difficulties can overshadow your care for yourself. This can factor into compassion fatigue and burnout, so it’s essential to save some energy for yourself.
Sensitive, empathic people tend to be fantastic listeners. Your loved ones may feel comforted by your support and reach out to you first whenever they experience difficulty.
Caring deeply can make it hard to tell people when you approach the point of being overwhelmed.
But it’s important to find a balance. Without boundaries, unchecked kindness and sensitivity can pave the way for “emotion dumps” that may be too much for you to handle at once.
Empaths may also be more vulnerable to manipulation or toxic behaviors. Your earnest desire to help people in distress can leave you unaware of signs of toxicity.
You may have a deeper understanding of the pain fueling their behavior and want to offer support. But it’s important to remember you can’t do much for someone who isn’t ready to change.
An empath’s increased sensitivity doesn’t just relate to emotions. There’s a lot of overlap between empaths and people who are highly sensitive, and you might find that you’re also more sensitive to the world around you.
This could mean:
- Fragrances and odors affect you more strongly.
- Jarring sounds and physical sensations may affect you more strongly.
- You prefer to listen to media at low volumes or get information by reading.
- Certain sounds may trigger an emotional response.
It should be noted that covert narcissists, also known as vulnerable narcissists, are also highly sensitive. They may appear to be empaths to manipulate others.
“Heightened sensitivity to other people’s pain can be draining, so empaths may find themselves easily fatigued,” Sueskind says.
Even an overload of positive feelings might exhaust you, so it’s important to take the time you need to reset.
If you can’t escape overwhelming emotions and rest your senses, you’re more likely to experience burnout, which can have a negative impact on well-being.
Needing time alone doesn’t necessarily mean you’re an introvert. Empaths can also be extroverts, or fall anywhere on the spectrum. Maybe people energize you — until you reach that point of being overwhelmed.
Extroverted empaths may need to take extra care to strike the right balance between spending time with others and restoring their emotional reserves.
If you’re an empath, you likely dread or actively avoid conflict.
Higher sensitivity can make it easier for someone to hurt your feelings. Even offhand remarks might cut more deeply, and you may take criticism more personally.
Arguments and fights can also cause more distress since you’re not only dealing with your own feelings and reactions. You’re also absorbing the emotions of the others involved. When you want to address everyone’s hurt but don’t know how, even minor disagreements can become harder to cope with.
Despite being highly attuned to the feelings of others, many empaths find it difficult to relate to others.
Others might not understand why you become exhausted and stressed so quickly. You might struggle to understand the emotions and feelings you absorb or feel like you aren’t “normal.” This may lead you to become more private. You might avoid talking about your sensitivities and sharing your intuitions so you feel less out of place.
It’s never easy to feel like you don’t belong, but try to see your ability to deeply empathize with others as something special.
It may not be common, but it’s an important part of who you are.
Isolation can help empaths recover from overwhelm, so completely shutting out the world may seem healing. But prolonged isolation can take a toll on mental health.
There are different types of isolation, and some may offer more restorative benefits than others. Try taking your time alone outdoors when possible and meditate in a quiet park, walk in the rain, take a scenic drive, or garden.
Boundaries are important in all relationships.
If you’re an empath, you may struggle to turn off the ability to feel and find it impossible to stop giving, even when you have no energy left. You might believe boundaries suggest you don’t care about your loved ones when the exact opposite is true.
Because the experiences of others have such an intense impact on empaths, boundaries become even more essential. They help you set limits around words or actions that may affect you negatively, allowing you to get your own needs met.
When you start to feel unable to decipher your emotions from those of others, it may be time to explore healthy boundary setting with a therapist.
Deeper emotional understanding can drive your intuition, and you likely pick up on things other people miss or make connections that aren’t clear to anyone else.
But this increased connection to the world can also have drawbacks. Environments that don’t provide much space for emotional expression can dampen your creativity and sensitivity, Egel says, leaving you disinterested, disengaged, and struggling to thrive.
It can be difficult for empaths to protect themselves from taking on other people’s emotions, Sueskind says.
Good self-care practices and healthy boundaries can help insulate you, particularly from negative emotions and energy. But the emotional “noise” of the world can cause significant distress when you lack the tools to manage it.
There are different types of empaths, including emotional, physical, and intuitive empaths.
Emotional empath
This type of empath is highly sensitive to the emotions of other people.
For example, when another person is sad or happy, an emotional empath also becomes sad or happy.
Physical empath
Physical empaths are very sensitive to the pain and illnesses of others.
They may even experience empathic illnesses or symptoms that are not actually their own.
Intuitive empath
People who are intuitive empaths are extremely perceptive.
Although there is no scientific evidence to support it, intuitive empaths may believe they are psychic or telepathic. Some may think they are able to communicate with plants and animals.
If you are an empath, setting healthy, clear boundaries can help reduce distress, Egel suggests. “You must know how to preserve yourself so you don’t get your energy and emotional reserves swallowed up,” she says.
You can also try taking some of the following steps to help protect your psyche:
- If people drain you easily, consider adding a pet to your life.
Empaths may connect to animals more intensely and draw deep comfort from this bond. - If you’re struggling to manage overstimulation on your own, and it affects your quality of life or keeps you from relationships and other personal goals, a therapist can help you learn to develop boundaries and identify helpful self-care approaches.
- To emotionally decompress, take frequent short breaks during the day to meditate, go for a walk, or do another stress-reducing activity.
- Build your sense of self awareness by paying attention to your own feelings and the characteristics defining you.
- Try to maintain a positive outlook. Avoid negative people and negativity in general.
- Boost your self esteem by repeating positive affirmations.
Remember, your needs and emotions are just as important as the ones you pick up in everyone around you.
The following are some of the pros and cons of being an empath:
| Pros | Cons |
You sense when someone needs help. | You may often feel emotionally exhausted |
| You help others by providing emotional support. | You may spend more time focused on others rather than yourself |
| Because of your strong intuition, you may not easily be taken advantage of or tricked. | Other people may be put off by your intuition |
Crystal Raypole has previously worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy. Her fields of interest include Asian languages and literature, Japanese translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex positivity, and mental health. In particular, she’s committed to helping decrease stigma around mental health issues.
Signs, Types, Downsides, & Self-Care
Intuitive empaths are believed to be a unique kind of empath that combines empathy, or the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, with instinct and perception.
Have you ever been told you’re too sensitive? Or advised to toughen up and develop thicker skin?
Maybe you’ve always felt you know what’s going to happen before it occurs, or you know how others are feeling without them telling you.
If so, you could be an intuitive empath.
Some believe intuitive empathy is a powerful gift that may come with its own unique challenges.
It’s important to note that there is no scientific evidence for the existence of intuitive empaths.
Some experts believe that intuitive empathy is most closely related to what the scientific evidence calls sympathy. One study asserts that sympathy overlaps with the emotional component of empathy.
Authors in the same study drew comparisons between empathy and compassion, noting that both emotions are evoked when something bad happens to another person.
Alternatively, intuitive empathy may actually correspond most closely with high emotionality.
While the existence of empaths, as discussed here, isn’t supported by science, some people believe strongly in them and offer anecdotal evidence for their existence.
“There are different kinds of empaths,” says Judith Orloff, MD, a psychiatrist, intuitive empath, and the author of “The Empath’s Guide To Survival: Life Strategies For Sensitive People.
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According to Orloff’s own experiences (rather than empirical research), there are three types of empaths:
- physical empaths
- emotional empaths
- intuitive empaths
“The physical empaths pick up a lot of stuff in their own bodies. They pick up other people’s physical symptoms and can actually take on the illness of other people,” Orloff says.
On the other hand, Orloff asserts that emotional empaths pick up on others’ feelings.
Then, there are intuitive empaths. “The intuitive empaths are those who experience life with extraordinary perceptions,” Orloff says.
According to Orloff, intuitive empaths are extremely perceptive and may have the following traits:
- psychic ability that can manifest as a sense of knowing
- openness to telepathy
- ability to receive messages in dreams
- capacity for animal and plant communication
- ability to receive gut feelings and the signals of the body
“They’re highly intuitive and sensitive, and they can use this to guide their lives,” Orloff says.
Again, it’s important to note that there is no scientific evidence to support Orloff’s claims and these concepts cannot be measured empirically.
Some people believe that intuitive empaths fall into certain categories and have subtly different characteristics. However, there’s no scientific evidence to support these claims.
While the research is lacking, you may feel your traits and characteristics resemble one of the following types if you identify as an intuitive empath.
Highly intuitive empath
This kind of intuitive empath is believed to have very high levels of intuition. They are said to be extremely perceptive and sensitive to others’ emotions.
They may take on the suffering of others and often go the extra mile for people as a result. They may also be easily overwhelmed by noises and smells.
Claircognizant intuitive empath
While there is no evidence supporting clairvoyance, some people believe claircognizant intuitive empaths have psychic and telepathic abilities.
It’s suggested that they have a strong sense of knowing, whether it’s telling when someone is lying or perceiving the best course of action to take in any situation.
Emotional intuitive empath
Some people believe that emotional intuitive empaths tend to absorb others’ emotions and can become easily drained and exhausted as a result. It’s believed they are hugely impacted by external energy and need to be very careful about who they choose to spend time with.
One study noted that people with high trait empathy may be able to tap into other people’s emotions. However, there is no evidence that this is the case for intuitive empaths specifically.
Animal and plant intuitive empath
Animal and plant intuitive empaths are believed by some to feel a deep connection to flora and fauna and have the ability to communicate with them. They are considered to be very nurturing, loving, and compassionate.
According to one study, plants are in constant dialogue with organisms in their environment through volatile organic compounds (VOCs).
This may even have applied uses for agriculture.
However, there is no research indicating that human beings can communicate with plants via VOCs.
Although Orloff believes that being an intuitive empath is a wonderful gift, she also believes it can carry a lot of complex difficulties. Being so deeply in tune with others can be a heavy weight to carry, she says.
“It can be challenging, because intuitive empaths don’t have the same filters when it comes to negative energy,” Orloff says.
Luckily, there are ways to manage these difficulties. Orloff says intuitive empaths benefit from learning to listen to their inner guidance. This helps them avoid absorbing others’ pain, stress, and emotions.
“There’s all this other information that’s available to intuitive empaths, so it’s really a gift, so long as you don’t absorb everything,” she says.
Orloff includes a 20-point self-assessment quiz for intuitive empaths in her book. She explains that the more questions you answer yes to, the greater your degree of intuitive empathy.
She advises asking yourself some of the following questions to identify your level of intuitive empathy. The more you identify, the further you are up the scale.
Have I been labelled as overly sensitive or too shy throughout my life?
“Often, intuitive empaths are labelled as too sensitive all their lives,” Orloff says. “They are often told to develop a thicker skin, which can make [them] feel like there’s something wrong with [them].”
Do I often feel like I don’t fit in?
Orloff calls this the “square peg round hole syndrome. It often comes with a strong sense of not belonging.
“Intuitive empaths often feel like they don’t fit in with the rest of society,” she says.
Do crowds drain me? Do I need a lot of alone time to revive myself?
Big crowds can feel overwhelming and draining for intuitive empaths, as there are so many competing energies. They tend to prefer one-on-one company.
Do noises, smells, or excessive talking overwhelm me?
Likewise, intuitive empaths can experience sensory overload and feel drained or overwhelmed by too many stimuli.
Do I prefer taking my own car places, so I have the option to leave?
“Intuitive empaths want to have the option to leave. They don’t like to be trapped in social situations,” Orloff says. “It’s too overwhelming for them. They need to give themselves permission to leave.”
Do I tend to socially isolate?
When you absorb the energies of others, it’s only natural that you might like to spend time alone. For this reason, intuitive empaths often isolate themselves and shy away from social situations.
Socially isolating and planning ahead to make your exit at social events can be symptoms of a mental health condition, like social anxiety disorder or depression.
It’s important to be aware of these tendencies and, in some cases, seek treatment from a qualified mental health professional.
Do I pick up intuitions about people and know things without them telling me?
Perhaps you know straight away when someone is lying, or you get a strong feeling about something right before it happens.
These are characteristics of intuitive empaths.
Have other people been frightened by my intuitions?
“Ask yourself: Can I predict the future? Do I know things without people having to tell me?” Orloff suggests.
Intuitive empaths often have an innate knowledge about people, places, and events that can seem spooky or disconcerting to others.
“Intuitive empaths are emotional sponges. They tend to absorb what’s going on in other people. They don’t have the regular filters that other people have, and so everything comes in,” Orloff says.
According to Orloff, intuitive empaths need to learn that it’s not their job to absorb the suffering of others.
Based on her experience with her clients, Orloff advises that empathic individuals learn how to stay grounded.
“If you’re wide open and you have no training in how to ground yourself, it can be too much,” she says. “Intuitive empaths who haven’t learned the skills [to deal with their gift can] suffer tremendously.
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Orloff believes the right kind of self-care can remedy the challenges intuitive empaths face.
“Once an intuitive empath is diagnosed, they can learn to thrive and expand their intuition,” she says. “They can learn how not to be overwhelmed by their gift and learn how to use it for good.”
Take breaks
One of Orloff’s suggestions is to take mini-breaks throughout the day. Instead of pushing yourself to go from one thing to the next, schedule in replenishing breathers.
She suggests taking time “to come back to your heart and recenter yourself, so you’re not exhausted.”
Be careful who you spend time with
Many people believe that intuitive empaths can be easily influenced by the energies around them.
“Listen to your body, and see who gives you energy and who drains you,” Orloff says. “Don’t stay around people who are just sucking you dry all the time. It’s very important to be aware of the body’s signals and not reject them.”
Shield yourself
Orloff advises that empaths practice shielding to avoid absorbing unwanted energies.
“Visualize a shield around your body to protect yourself from any draining, negative energy when you’re around energy vampires,” she suggests.
It’s important to note here that Orloff isn’t suggesting emotional avoidance, a destructive coping mechanism that involves burying your emotions and steering clear of potential conflict.
Instead, she’s suggesting giving yourself a protective bubble that, in her opinion, can help you to maintain your balance. She believes this can prevent you from absorbing negative energies of other people without shutting yourself off emotionally.
Try using crystals
“I’m a big believer in holding powerful gemstones in your hand as a grounding technique before going through something stressful,” Orloff says.
While there is no scientific research to support the benefits of crystals, their use is an important practice for many.
Meditate
Regular meditation may help to replenish your energy.
“In my book, I talk about a 3-minute heart meditation to bring you back to yourself where you breathe, center yourself, put your hand on your heart, and picture something loving,” says Orloff.
Orloff suggests meditations that center around the full and new moon as well as the solstices and equinoxes. She claims this can help intuitive empaths connect to the greater life cycles of nature.
While there isn’t evidence to suggest meditating at certain points in the lunar cycle has any added benefit, there’s no harm in using this method to enhance your awareness of lunar rhythms.
There isn’t scientific research on intuitive empaths.
Nevertheless, Orloff says empaths can follow the above steps to become empowered.
“It won’t be a miserable thing. It will be a powerful way to deepen your connections to others and nature, and to love life. You just have to learn the skills to manage the challenging parts,” she says. “Empaths have to keep going back to the well to replenish themselves. They can’t forget that.”
Victoria Stokes is a writer from the United Kingdom. When she’s not writing about her favorite topics, personal development, and well-being, she usually has her nose stuck in a good book.
Victoria lists coffee, cocktails, and the color pink among some of her favorite things. Find her on Instagram.
(Not) sympathize: determine your type of empathy
(Not) sympathize: determine your type of empathy
Empathic people are able to respond to other people's feelings, empathize with them, form strong connections, and be aware of their own emotions. Human beings are empathic by nature. However, some empathize with their hearts, others with their heads, some practically do not feel other people. T&P have compiled a test that can determine your type of empathy.
Start test
10/1
If I see a person who is very upset or crying, it hurts me too
Yes, it is. I feel almost the same as him, and I feel myself in his place I not only feel his pain, but I can also imagine and understand what feelings he will experience later It’s hard for me to feel the pain of another I worry about this person and understand his pain, but I don’t feel it on myself
2/10
If someone is nervous, this state is easily transmitted to me
I feel this tension and I understand how the mood of others will change I see and understand that other people are nervous, but I do not immediately get this state Yes, I quickly become infected with anxiety and feel it in the same way as others I do not always notice that others are nervous
3/10
I often feel that something is wrong with someone close to me, even at a distance
what state he is in I live this state with him and I can predict what emotions we will experience later Unfortunately, without explanations, I won’t even notice this Yes, I don’t even need explanations, his state is immediately transmitted to me
4/10
I feel strong emotions when watching a movie or reading a fiction book, and I often worry about the characters
I see the experiences of the characters and observe them, but I don’t always feel them I understand the feelings of the characters, and I know that they will to experience in this or that situationYes, I definitely feel everything and transfer it to my life.
It's just a movie, just a book. Characters are fictitious, coincidences are random
5/10
When I make a decision that affects other people, I am very worried about how it will affect them
No, I don’t care about others and focus only on my decisionI understand that my decision has consequences, but I don’t empathize emotionallyYes, it’s hard for me to predict how they will feel, but I feel that I am responsible for others I feel
6/10
I often feel embarrassed if a friend tells me about his problems
I know how my friend will feel if the problem is not will decide No, I immediately start to worry about my friend Yes, it’s really embarrassing, it’s not easy for me to listen to other people’s problems I’m always ready to listen and find ways to solve the problem, look at it from the outside
7/10
Someone else's laughter is contagious
No, not contagious! Definitely! And you can laugh for a long time if other people pick up this mood Not really, you still need to understand why they laugh Yes! I don’t even always understand why others laugh, but I start laughing myself
8/10
If I see a sick animal, I feel incredibly worried
No, I don’t feel any strong emotions Of course, I worry about the animal, but first of all I try understand what is wrong with him I feel incredibly hurt for him Yes, it’s like I feel his pain and live it
9/10
When I see betrayal.
..
Honestly, I don't care, it's none of my business A sense of justice awakens in me, and I am incredibly indignant, because it’s impossible to do this I have a feeling that I was betrayed I feel and know in advance how a person will feel in this situation
10/10
If a child cries, it irritates me
I feel terrible pain for him, I want him to stop crying as soon as possible. No, I'm not irritated. I understand that children are crying, this is normal Yes, children's screams and crying infuriate me I feel his anxiety and understand that he will not calm down quickly
what empathy really is
Some empathize with their hearts, others with their heads, and some have little or no feeling for other people. Why is this happening? Is empathy a gift, or is it an acquired skill? How to understand that you are an empath? We understand the phenomenon of empathy, its signs and types.
Not given to everyone?
Empathy - conscious empathy with the emotional state of other people, the ability to recognize the emotions and feelings of others and express compassion.
This process is ensured by the work of mirror neurons, which are located in the cerebral cortex and allow "reflecting" the emotional behavior of others. For example, if someone nearby fell and hurt himself, the observer's anterior cingulate cortex and insular lobe (brain regions associated with pain) are excited. The ability to empathize helps to feel ownership of what is happening to oneself and to others.
Empathic people are able to respond to the feelings of other people, empathize with them, and also be aware of their own emotions
The level of empathy is completely different for everyone. And sometimes this skill, at first glance, seems to be completely absent. But this is not entirely true: its manifestation is simply indirect, and a person suppresses his feelings. A more serious obstacle to the development of this ability are mental illnesses: narcissistic personality disorders (such a person is focused exclusively on himself, and considers others as a means), psychopathy, autism.
Empathy can be either innate or acquired. Scientists from the University of Cambridge came to this conclusion. They did a study with genetic testing company 23andMe. They took DNA samples from 46,000 of their clients and asked them to complete a questionnaire that measured their level of empathy. After that, these data were compared with genetic data.
Empathy is 10% genetic, while the other 90% is acquired.
Signs of empathy
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You instantly read the emotional state of a person, even if you have not spoken to him.
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You begin to experience the same emotions as the person next to you (for example, cry, laugh, feel pain).
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You recognize lies.
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You have mood swings that depend on how others feel.
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You intuitively understand how to help another person: both in physical actions and in moral support.
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You sincerely want to help and expect nothing in return.
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After talking to a lot of people, you feel empty.
Types of empathy
Emotional empathy
This type of empathy means that you can instantly put yourself in the place of another person and feel the same as him. You are able to immerse yourself deeply in the experiences of the people around you and experience the same pain, even if it was previously unfamiliar to you. However, control yourself and do not forget about personal boundaries, otherwise you may injure yourself.
Cognitive empathy
Empathy happens at a cognitive level - you see that a person is worried and strive to understand the reasons. People with cognitive empathy are able to objectively analyze the situation and find a way out of it. That is, it is not just emotional empathy, but also concrete help.
Predicative empathy
You not only feel a person at the moment, but you can also predict how he will feel in time and what factors may affect this.
