How to stop excitement
5 effective hacks to calm yourself down when you’re over-excited
Emotional Health
Learn to cope with over-excitement, ladies. Image courtesy: ShutterstockNikita Bhardwaj Published on: 25 January 2021, 13:23 pm IST
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Have you ever met an over-excited soul? Well, if you have, then you must know that this category of people are full of life, and big optimists. They find joy in even the smallest of things. Basically, their attitude is to always see the silver lining – which is not bad at all.
But at times, over-excitement can backfire. That’s because it impacts the way they think, and can also trigger them to make biased decisions. Not to forget, over-excitement can also make them panic at times, because of the sudden rush of emotions.
But why do people get over-excited in the first placeHormones, hormones, and hormones are to be blamed for this. According to renowned psychiatrist, Dr Rahul Khemani, excitement of any kind is all about a state of arousal. In the arousal state, the heart rate increases, the sympathetic nervous system observes increased activity, and the brain begins to signal at the increased production of hormones. The hormone, which is responsible for this is dopamine. It is also known as a ‘happy hormone‘, as it plays a big role in the brain’s reward system.
“When a person is excited, their emotions become more powerful and can affect their decision-making abilities. It can also lead to impulsive behaviour,” he says.
But is there a way to lower this over-excitement? Thankfully, there is.
Dr Khemani recommends five simple yet effective ways to keep calm:- Awareness is important
Look for signs that make you aware about your over-excitement. You could be more talkative, aggressive, demanding, and generally don’t feel as grounded. You could also experience some form of disorientation with regard to your surroundings.
- Step outside if over-excitement is making you anxious
Yes, that’s true. A sudden high in hormones can make you pretty anxious. If you feel breathless, then step out of your premises, inhale fresh air, and expose yourself to sunlight. This will help you calm down
- Practice meditation and breathing exercises
Meditation will help you to calm down, because at times, too much excitement can be awkward. And as we have discussed, over-excitement can amp up your heart rate, so breathing exercises will come in handy.
Rejoice the super power of mediation. Image courtesy: Shuttestock
- Indulge your senses
“Listen to some music, look at different colours, eat something or drink water, and move around,” suggests Dr Khemani.
- Practise balancing your emotions, even otherwise in your daily life
The mind has to be trained to not vacillate between highs and lows.
Using a detached approach towards your emotions, observing them as an outsider without judgment, can help in this process.
So, if you are over-excited for a trip or maybe meeting your bestie, just ensure that this emotion doesn’t impact your well-being. Rest, there’s no harm in being excited in life.
About the Author
Nikita Bhardwaj
Six-pack abs are all that Nikita needs, along with her daily dose of green tea. At Health Shots, she produces videos, podcasts, stories, and other kick-ass content.
How to Refrain from Getting Too Excited about Potentialities
A lot has been happening in my life.
I’ve had a lot of really exciting opportunities, for which I’m incredibly thankful, but I’ve also had many potential opportunities that fell through. Sometimes they fell through based on my inability to do the work, sometimes it just wasn’t the right fit and sometimes it was no fault of my own and extenuating circumstances got in the way.
Starting out, I would get overly excited about these opportunities. They would spark an excitement in me that, frankly, was hard to contain. When they fell through, though, I would be crushed.
Experience has taught me better than to count on something like that for any measure of success and self-worth. The truth is, your self-worth doesn’t depend on what you’ve accomplished. Although you can be proud of yourself, self-worth comes from within.
The point of all this is to say that getting too excited about potentialities can be dangerous. It can cause you to be risky, it can cause you to become a little delusional and it can crush you when it, whatever it is, doesn’t play out the way you imagined it would.
It’s best to embrace realism. Knowing and being aware that things may not work out can give you a different kind of strength. It can fuel the realization that you’re OK with or without a huge opportunity. Success certainly isn’t everything. You’ve got to have a good head on your shoulders to begin with.
I know getting too excited about potentialities can be a problem. I’ll try to offer advice on what to do when these situations present themselves.
It’s important to realize that a single opportunity is not going to make or break you. If it’s good, the repercussions will last a few days at most and you’ll always come back to feeling exactly like yourself. If it’s bad, nothing lost, nothing gained, right? You’re still the same person. You always will be. Successes are great but it’s important to know that they don’t define you.
A good safeguard is to go into a situation with no expectations. If you keep in mind the fact that it may not work out, it’s not such a killer if that’s what happens. On the flipside, if something amazing happens, that will be wonderful. If you go into a situation expecting amazing things to happen and they don’t, you may be crushed and unable to get out of bed for a few days.
A good technique is embracing the result, whatever it is, good or bad.
If you can fully accept the result and not let it be some life-changing thing, you can maintain what I like to call “homeostasis” or balance. You’re still the same person whether something amazing happened or whether something horrible happened. You are still the same person.
I know what it’s like to deal with potentialities. I’ve seen more than my fair share of them. After a while you get used to them. You come to see the rollercoaster of emotions going into something like that as something that you don’t necessarily have to ride.
If good things happen, that’s great. If bad things happen, there’s always a next time. Your life is still yours and ultimately it’s you who has to decide whether you let the things that happen change the person you are and always have been.
How to stop winding yourself up: 10 recommendations from Dale Carnegie's book
Contents of the article
Excitement and anxiety accompany us everywhere: at home and at work, on the bus and in the store, in line and in traffic jams.
There is practically no person who does not face excitement. But some people can pull themselves together and survive an unpleasant moment, while others begin to wind themselves up even more, turning simple anxiety into chronic stress. We've summarized the tips from psychologist Dale Carnegie in How to Stop Worrying and Start Living? to change your perspective and reduce stress.
Tip 1. Distinguish between the past and the present
To stop overthinking yourself and worrying about problems that may happen in the future, you need to live in the present. Dale Carnegie proposes to mentally install an "iron curtain" that will delimit the past and the future, preventing a person from regretting old mistakes once again or thinking about tomorrow's difficulties.
Advice 2. Answer the Questions
At the height of your panic attack, ask yourself three questions from Willis Carrier's magical formula from Dale Carnegie's book.
- What is the worst thing that can happen in this situation?
- How can this problem be solved?
- Will I be able to cope with these difficulties?
If you honestly answer these questions for yourself, you will understand that even in the worst case scenario, you will be able to cope with trouble.
Tip 3. Think about the harmful effects of stress
In times of stress, you must constantly remember the harm that anxiety can do to your body. The author of the book cites the sad fact that business people who live in chronic stress die early. Therefore, it is important to take care of yourself and stay calm.
Tip 4. Think positively
Cheerful thoughts can reduce anxiety and calm down quickly. To do this, you need to develop positive thinking in yourself, try to maintain a good mood and look at life with a smile.
Advice 5. Start acting
When a person is inactive, bad thoughts begin to creep into his head. The best way to get rid of them is to keep yourself busy. So the brain will switch to action, and psychological stress will decrease.
Tip 6. Get rid of the habit of being nervous
Surely you have met people who, for any reason, begin to worry. For them, anxiety for no reason has already become a habit, which is still better to get rid of.
To do this is simple - create a new useful habit - do not worry about trifles.
Advice 7. Do not worry about what has already happened
Many people continue to reproach themselves for past mistakes that cannot be corrected. In this situation, you need to accept the inevitable and let go of the past. Just say to yourself, “What happened that should have happened” and calm down.
Advice 8. Set an acceptable level of emotions
To control excitement and anxiety, you need to mentally set a "limiter" to your emotions. Just assess the situation and determine the acceptable level of experience, beyond which you can not go.
As you can see, Dale Carnegie's recommendations are quite simple and easy to apply in everyday life. The main thing to do is to firmly decide to change your thinking. You can also study the nature of stress and master relaxation techniques - see the instructions in the free online course "Stress Management".
How to Stop Worrying: 12 Failing Strategies
43,167
BooksPractices how toAntistress
1.
You seek validation You worry that you don't look good enough and keep asking your partner, "Do you think I'm fine?" It seems to you that chest pain is the first symptom of cancer, and you often visit doctors to find out: “Will I live?” Or maybe you're nervous about a guy you met at a party. "He yawned, was he bored with me?" - ask your friend.
The problem is that one confirmation is not enough. You will look for them again and again, trying to get more guarantees in order to reduce your anxiety and insecurity for at least the next couple of minutes. But no confirmation helps, because you will soon begin to doubt the confirmation itself.
Maybe your friend is just encouraging you by saying that you look good, but in reality she thinks otherwise. Or the doctor can't tell for sure if it's cancer without doing certain tests. In doing so, you are trying to gain assurance, rather than learning to live with insecurity, which is a very important element in dealing with anxiety.
2. You are trying to stop thinking
You may have heard of stop thought therapy, which involves getting rid of negative or unwanted thoughts by suppressing them. Its essence is this. Every time you are worried that you will lose all your money in the stock market, you must force yourself to stop thinking about it, flick your wrist with a rubber band, or mentally shout to yourself: “Stop!”. This is supposed to reduce your nervousness.
Unfortunately, not only does this method not work, but it leads to a "rebound thought" and only worsens the situation in the long run
Let's check the "stop thought". Close your eyes and relax. Imagine a clear image of a polar bear - cute and fluffy. Now that you have a vivid picture in your head, I want you to stop thinking about polar bears for the next ten minutes. No matter what you do, don't think about any polar bears. Psychologists have long noticed that attempts to suppress certain thoughts lead to their renewal or even intensification.
3. You collect information
When you are worried about something, you try to find out everything you can about the problem. Knowledge is power, isn't it? After all, this is how we find out the facts. Perhaps you really collected a number of facts (or perhaps not). But even real facts can be selected biased, that is, on the basis of prejudice, and misleading.
This is what happens when you are looking for information to support your negative beliefs. You see a trend that doesn't exist, you overestimate the risk and give importance to what is unimportant. Trying to figure out if a negative prediction can come true - “What if I have cancer?”, You find the information you need and tend to confirm the prediction.
If you are worried that you are annoying someone, you will not only look for any signs that this person is treating you badly, but you will also interpret their neutral behavior as negative. Research shows that chronic neurotics view neutral or ambiguous information as a threat.
Shy people consider any complex facial expression to be angry
Psychologists have also found that when we gather information about a threat in a state of anxiety (for example, the possibility of a plane crash, a terrorist attack, or contracting a dangerous disease), we almost always overestimate the risk.
At times like this, we don't try to figure out the most important thing, which is, "How often does the worst thing NOT happen?" If you're afraid of flying, how carefully do you search for information about planes that land successfully? If you fear being fired, do you keep track of how many days/months/years you haven't been fired?
4. You check again and again
You try to reduce your anxiety by making sure everything is in order. You think: “I may have forgotten something”, “I must have missed something”, “If I can detect some little thing in advance, then I can prevent the worst” and “I should check everything, then (perhaps) I can do something.
” The key points are as follows:
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"If I figure everything out, I can reduce my uncertainty."
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"I can't stand uncertainty."
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"If I detect the signs of disaster early, I can prevent the worst."
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"I can't rely entirely on my memory."
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"Caution is never too much."
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"This is my responsibility."
You think you look terrible. Every time you think about it, you rush to the mirror to make sure your makeup is in order. You look at yourself in a magnifying mirror, which allows you to see any wrinkle or broken capillary in the eye. This, of course, makes you even more worried about your appearance.
You explain to yourself: “I look in the mirror to see something wrong early on and do something about it.” . This reduces anxiety: fixing your makeup makes you feel better for a while, and avoiding social events feels safer.
What you don't know is that going to a party would help you overcome your anxiety. Checking never addresses the root of your anxiety: "I can't stand being insecure." Checks cost you stress, time, and energy, and reinforce your belief that constant monitoring is necessary to feel safe. What about the meaning? For a period of five minutes to an hour you feel better, and then you need to make sure again.
5. You avoid discomfort
A common way to deal with anxiety is to avoid or put off what worries or worries you. If you're worried about taxes, you're avoiding filing your tax return. If you are worried that something is seriously ill, then put off going to the doctor.
Avoiding what bothers you works instantly. However, it also reinforces the belief that you are unable to solve these problems, making you even more afraid of facing them in the future. There is simply no way for you to know that you can handle it all on your own. You have no chance to disprove your negative beliefs.
6. You stun yourself with alcohol, drugs and food
Anxiety and depression are caused by the abuse of alcohol, drugs and food. If you're worried about losing your job, you overeat and drink a lot to calm down. If you're worried about getting pissed at a party, you can always "take a couple of drinks" to "relax."
Suppression of anxiety through drugs, alcohol or food indicates that you do not know how to deal with your anxieties and emotions. You do not reflect, do not try to figure out how much your prejudices correspond to the truth.
The advantages of suppression and avoidance are that they work instantly and are easily accessible
And no consequences - for the next couple of hours. You will not feel bad until late, you will have a hangover tomorrow, you can enjoy drugs and not think about life in the real world, because your motivation and ambition have decreased significantly. However, you still do not resolve the existing issues.
As a result, you will have two problems - anxiety and self-destructive behavior.
7. You suffer from "overpreparation syndrome"
You are nervous about having to give a report next week. Although you know that you are competent and have deep knowledge on the topic, you are nevertheless disturbed by the thought: “What if everything goes out of my head?”, “What if someone asks a question that I can’t answer?” .
You think through the speech down to the last word, and when the time is right, you get up and read the speech... but you are so boring! You sound like a robot. People think: "That's a bore!" And you were worried that if you were even a little spontaneous, you would certainly forget something and go astray.
Excessive preparation reinforces the belief that you must be in complete control of what worries you, otherwise disaster will occur focusing on a feeling like "I think I know this stuff."
The speakers who liked the audience the least prepared the most.
Overpreparation does not help, because it is impossible to prepare for everything in the same way: something unexpected can always happen.
8. You use safe behavior
When we are anxious or afraid, we use “safe behavior” – “rituals” that make us feel safe even for a moment. People often don't think about their rituals until others point them out and ask them to stop.
For example, a person who is afraid to drive on a bridge performs the following rituals for safety: plans the path so that he knows exactly where the bridge awaits him, tries not to look over the edge of the bridge, drives in traffic lanes, does not look in the rear-view mirror, squeezes steering wheel, take a deep breath and slam on the brakes. Each of these aspects of safe behavior gives him a sense of control over the situation. In fact, this only reinforces his belief that he is not capable of controlling her.
The use of rituals convinces you that you cannot manage on your own, that this situation will remain dangerous and problematic unless you "protect" yourself with some action.
As soon as you stop practicing them, you will start doing what you are afraid of, and you will understand that in fact, everything is in order without these “rituals”.
9. You are always trying to make a good impression
Perhaps you are worried about how you look or that you will say something inappropriate. You worry that people will notice your restlessness, insecurity, and awkwardness and judge you. You reason like this: "If I don't make a really good impression in every way, everyone will think I'm a failure."
Most neurotics grew up without warm affection from their parents, but with the need to be guided by the thoughts and feelings of other people and with the obligation to please them. As a result, a person is never sure that he can like, that relations with him will be maintained.
You are too focused on being nice to everyone. You are constantly trying to guess what others think. Believing that you must always “make an incredible impression on people,” you expect the most harsh criticism - and accordingly worry.
10. You meditate by thinking over and over again
When you meditate on something that is disturbing, you “chew” it many times like a cow chews its cud. You hope that if you keep thinking, you will find a solution, feel better, and stop thinking accordingly.
Belief in the usefulness of reflection is absolutely false. The awareness of how bad you feel only gets stronger because you focus on the negative emotions.
It makes you avoid positive feelings, as if you refuse to change your attitude to the situation or find any advantages in it. Fruitless reflections are the eternal "chewing" of reality that you cannot swallow.
11. You Need Total Confidence
It may seem that gaining confidence right now will make you less nervous. But even if you finally believe that the situation is as it seems to you and start looking for the perfect solution to the problem, you will soon realize that it is not ideal - and you will start to get nervous again.
As you search for confidence and the perfect solution, anxiety grows. In reality, anything can happen. Living with uncertainty means living in the real world.
12. You refuse to accept the existence of your "crazy" thoughts
Many people worry about thoughts that seem to them completely contrary to their character and beliefs. Almost everyone talks about "crazy" thoughts - disgusting, immoral or cruel.
People worry about them for several reasons:
see them as an omen of something terrible,
feel ashamed and guilty,
think they should get rid of them immediately.
For example, people with panic disorder fear that the thought of a panic attack indicates that one is about to happen. OCD sufferers believe that the thought of losing control predicts that they will behave violently, lose control of themselves. Neurotics also tend to believe that their thoughts will inevitably lead to actions.
It's helpful to ask yourself, "How many times have I had 'crazy' thoughts?" and “How many times have these predictions actually come true?”
Obsessive-compulsive disorder research indicates that almost 30% have real obsessions, unwanted thoughts, urges that do not affect behavior in any way. Thinking about something is not the embodiment of what you thought about.
Many people who think about cruel and bad deeds believe that having these thoughts makes them immoral, disgusting, corrupt. Character and sanity, however, are not determined by your thoughts - they are determined by what you actually do.
For example, if you have images of violence in your mind, ask yourself: Are you the abuser in these scenes? Not? So these images have nothing to do with your character. And to fight them - instead of acknowledging their existence - means only to increase your own anxiety. How to replace all of the above false strategies? What steps in working with anxiety will be truly effective?
About the author: Robert Leahy is a psychotherapist, one of the world leaders in cognitive behavioral therapy, and author of The Cure for Nerves: How to Stop Worrying and Enjoy Life.
