How to make yourself stop crying
9 tips for instant control
Uncontrollable crying can be upsetting, uncomfortable, embarrassing, and exhausting. Understanding what causes crying, and learning how to control it is often a huge relief.
Sometimes, people have the urge to cry when they don’t want to and while it is important to note that there is nothing wrong with crying, there are some ways to control and prevent it from happening.
It is important to remember that crying could be a sign of a deeper problem, and if anyone suspects this is the case, they should visit their doctor.
Fast facts on crying:
- Some people hardly cry at all, even in very sad situations, while others find even small things can set them off.
- There is no specific cure for crying.
- Crying is a normal response to a wide range of emotionally charged stimuli.
- Treatments can help, especially if the person has a mood disorder.
- Other management techniques and tricks can help control crying.
There are three kinds of tears that humans can produce, each of them has a different purpose.
Basal tears make sure the eyes do not dry out and are always present in the eyes. Humans produce around 5 to 10 ounces of basal tears each day.
Reflex tears are produced to help protect the eye. If smoke or dust gets into the eye, or it is irritated, the nerves in the cornea send a message to the brain and reflex tears occur.
Emotional tears. When a person is feeling emotional, the cerebrum (the front part of the brain) registers that emotion and a hormone is triggered causing emotional type tears to form.What are tears made of?
Tears are made up of protein, water, mucus, and oil. However, their content will vary depending on what kind of tears they are. Basal tears, for example, are 98 percent water, where emotional tears contain several different chemicals, proteins, and hormones.
Share on PinterestThere are no rules on crying too much, but any crying that affects everyday life should be referred to a healthcare professional.
There is no rule about how much crying is too much, and whether it is a problem depends on how an individual feels personally, and whether bouts of crying affect daily activities, relationships, and other aspects of everyday life.
Crying is normal, as are many of the reasons for crying. Some common reasons why a person might cry are:
- receiving bad news
- missing someone
- sad memories
- feeling overwhelmed
- a relationship breakdown
1. Walk away
Walking away from a situation, it can be a helpful way to stop getting worked up and bursting into tears. Getting too angry, upset, or frustrated can cause crying so removing themselves and returning when calmer can help a person regain control.
2. Use words
Failure to communicate properly can lead to anger and frustration, which can trigger the urge to cry. Learning how to express feelings clearly, staying calm, and using words can help to keep tears at bay.
3. Have props and use distractions
Having something to scribble on, a stress ball, or something to look at visually may be of use when heading into a situation that could trigger crying. Distraction is another popular technique. Focusing on an activity or task, listening to uplifting music or starting a conversation can also be helpful.
4. Think about something positive or funny instead
Try to replace negative thoughts with positive ones or think about something funny or silly instead. Seeing the lighter, funnier side to a stressful situation can make things easier and stop someone from crying so easily.
5. Concentrate on breathing
Taking a deep breath and focusing on breathing slowly and calmly can help regain control.
6. Blink and move the eyes
Moving the eyes around and blinking back the tears can prevent them from spilling out.
7. Relaxing facial muscles
When a person cries their face tends to tense up. Focusing on the muscles in the face and relaxing them can help prevent crying.
8. Get rid of that throat lump
Emotional crying also affects the nervous system. One way it reacts is by opening up the muscle at the back of the throat (called the glottis). This feels as though a lump is forming in the throat. Sipping water, swallowing, and yawning can help make the lump go away.
9. Do some exercise
Exercise releases feel-good endorphins and is a great distraction from what is causing the upset too.
Share on PinterestTalking to someone may be a recommended strategy to avoid triggers.
Avoiding triggers is about knowing the things that make a person cry and being able to identify them. This makes it easier for them to manage their emotions, as they can spot and prevent familiar thought-patterns long before reaching the point of crying.
Some strategies include:
Sometimes crying can be a reflex because people struggle to acknowledge how they are feeling.
Trying to understand the cause of distress and coming up with practical solutions will be more helpful than masking the problem by crying.
Behavioral modification is where a person is asked to try and focus on their thoughts and actions and identify the triggers that cause them to cry. Doing so enables them to come up with coping mechanisms to help. The more a person repeats these, the more control a person will have over their emotions.
Talking to someone
Talking to someone, whether they are a trusted friend, a family member, or a trained professional such as a therapist, can help a person work out problems, relieve stress and feel freer.
Writing it down
Some people find keeping a journal or writing their emotions down is a beneficial way to explore their feelings, find patterns, and see if there is a root cause for their problems that needs addressing.
Although crying is a normal part of life, excessive crying can be a sign of several mood or personality disorders that usually need professional help to control. Some common mood disorders are:
- anxiety disorder
- Pseudobulbar affect (PBA) – intense feelings of anger or sudden, unexplained laughter or crying
While it is perfectly normal and acceptable to cry, if a person suspects they cry more than normal or crying is getting in the way of their daily life, they should seek help and advice from a medical professional.
If they are considering harming themselves or others then seeking immediate help by calling 911, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 1-800-273-8255, or confiding in a trusted adult is the best course of action.
Crying in itself can sometimes be helpful and make a person feel much better so people should not try to hide tears, bury emotions, or suffer alone.
How to Stop Crying so Much, so Easily, and at Work
People often cry at funerals, during sad movies, and when listening to sad songs. But other people may find themselves crying while having heated conversations with others, confronting someone they’re angry with, or talking about something important.
This kind of crying can cause embarrassment and confusion. The good news is that with time, you can learn how to control it.
You should also ask yourself if your crying really is a problem. Sometimes, through our tears we release emotions that are penned up and need to be expressed. There are times when crying can help you to actually feel better.
If you cry a lot, you may feel self-conscious. It may feel like people are taking you less seriously when they see you cry, or you may feel weak (which isn’t really true).
But if you cry a lot, it may mean you’re having difficulty dealing with your stress. Or you might feel helpless when stuck in certain situations or talking to certain people. Or, according to research, you might be stressed out by, or have trouble reading, people’s facial expressions.
Learning how to control your stress can sometimes help you better control your tears. Here are some tips to help you stop crying quickly:
- Tilt your head up slightly to prevent tears from falling. The tears will collect at the bottom of your eyelids so they don’t run down your face. This can stop the flow of tears and redirect your focus.
- Pinch yourself on the skin between your thumb and pointer finger — the pain might distract you from crying.
- Tense up your muscles, which can make your body and brain feel more confident and in-control, according to scientists.
- Make a neutral face, which can calm the person you’re talking to and make it less likely they’ll put on an expression that triggers your tears. Scientists have found that neutral faces trigger less brain activity than facial expressions exhibiting specific emotions.
- Physically step back from a stressful situation, such as a heated conversation.
- Focus on controlling your breathing. Consciously attempt to take in deep breaths and slowly exhale. This may help you to feel more calm, reduce your overall feelings of stress, and decrease your chances of starting (or continuing) crying.
- Blink rapidly if you’ve already started crying to help clear away tears so they don’t roll down your face.
- Do not blink if you feel like you might cry, this can prevent tears from falling.
- Change your thoughts and frame of mind. If you feel stressed out and like you will start crying, divert your attention from your worries and tears, and instead think of something else — a happy moment, a funny scene from a movie, or something you’re proud of — that will distract you.
Crying is something that everyone does. But if you feel like you’re crying too much, you might be too easily overwhelmed by stress, or you may have another issue going on, such as a depressive disorder. You can begin by focusing on reducing the stress in your life to reduce your crying. You can get a handle on your stress by taking these steps to identify, confront, and deal with the stress in your life:
- Identify what is causing your stress (and your crying): Is it a personal issue, your environment, the people around you, or something else?
- Reduce the number of things you commit to. Overscheduling is a major cause of stress in many people’s lives. Look at your calendar and think about what activities, obligations, or events you could cut out to help reduce your overall stress.
- Stay on top of your obligations. Tight deadlines and procrastination can increase stress. Prevent stress by staying on top of your work and setting more realistic goals for yourself if you feel pressed for time when trying to complete projects.
- Ask for help when you need it. Determine which people in your life — friends, family, and coworkers —you can call on for help coping with your stress.
- Find a hobby. Enjoyable activities such as art, music, or volunteering can help reduce your overall stress level. Noncompetitive activities such as reading, fishing, or gardening are often the best at relieving stress.
- Use relaxation techniques. Deep breathing, stretching, visualizing a peaceful scene, and repeating a mantra can help calm your brain and body when you feel stressed.
- Make sure you get enough sleep. A lack of sleep can make it more likely that your emotions will get the better of you when you’re stressed. Most adults require seven to nine hours of sleep per night.
If you’re having trouble dealing with your stress, or you find yourself crying all the time, you might be dealing with a mental health condition such as major depression or bipolar disorder. These are serious mental health conditions that require medical treatment. If you’re concerned, see your mental healthcare provider right away for help.
Crying is a natural response to emotional situations. But some people cry more than others, and crying excessively can be uncomfortable. However, there are many things you can do to decrease the likelihood that you will start or continue crying. And there are things you can do at home to reduce the likelihood that you’ll start crying the next time you encounter a stressful situation. You should also know when to reach out to your doctor for help.
Next time you feel like you’re going to cry, or if you’ve started to tear up, remember that there are things you can do to stop your crying. Use these tips and confront the stressful situations in your life knowing you don’t have to cry, and if you start, you can control it. You don’t have to let your tears hold you back from being taken seriously or expressing your needs during difficult conversations.
What to do if you want to cry from resentment? How to learn to hold back tears?
Tears are a natural reaction of the body to what is happening. The reasons may be varied. Psychologists say that crying is useful and sometimes necessary. There are situations in life when it is impossible to cry. How to hold back tears at this moment?
When to hold back tears
Tears help to cope with stress, throw out emotions. There are a lot of situations when it is necessary to hold back tears in public, but not all of them are justified. For example, in an exam. Sometimes a bad grade, teacher's pickiness, tense nerves can lead to tears. It is best to give vent to feelings after the exam, but not in front of the teacher. It will not cause pity, but negative feelings may appear.
No need to give vent to tears in the interview. Even in the case when the employer asks incorrect questions, behaves aggressively, presses. He has his own ideas about what kind of employee is needed. Perhaps in this way he checks the applicant's resistance to stress, how he knows how to set personal boundaries. Crying in an interview can mean failure.
It is not recommended to shed tears on the street, with a large crowd of people. For the most part, passers-by will not be able to help, and swindlers will certainly take advantage of the state of the victim for their own selfish purposes.
In an abusive relationship with a manipulator, holding back tears and not crying is more likely to be the key to success. So the manipulator will not know that he has hit a sore spot where he can beat and control.
Important! It is necessary to understand when it is appropriate to cry and when it is better to abstain. Holding back tears constantly is unhealthy. Negative emotions accumulate, which leads to health disorders.
How to learn not to cry
It is quite difficult to contain the storm of emotions. This requires a huge amount of strength. There are some simple ways to calm down and not cry:
- switch attention. You can concentrate on work issues, household chores, favorite items;
- turn on the imagination. You can imagine the offender in a funny way;
- bite your lip, wring your hands - pain distracts from negative emotions. The main thing is not to turn this procedure into the norm;
- breath control. At the moment when a lump comes to the throat, you need to slowly inhale deeply and slowly exhale through the mouth;
- leave at the right time;
- wash your face with cold water;
- drink sweet tea;
- recall happy, funny moments;
- meet with loved ones.
If you want to cry over trifles and often, it is very difficult to hold back tears, contact our doctors for advice. such a condition may mean the presence of psychological problems, trauma. Our doctors at a remote consultation will analyze each case, identify the cause, provide psychological support, and be in touch at any time of the day.
Physiological causes of lacrimation
Not always tears in the eyes can be caused by emotional factors. Predisposing factors are physiological problems:
- conjunctival damage. In this case, there will be constant lacrimation, burning sensation, itching, pain;
- inflammation. Pathogenic microflora can cause inflammatory processes, accompanied by lacrimation;
- food - onions;
- long stay at the computer, phone.
A sharp surge of emotions can also cause tears.
Read also How to stop being offended
Benefits and harms of tears
If you constantly hold back tears, the risk of developing emotional overload is high. Expressing your feelings by crying is a normal reaction. Crying has two sides of the coin:
Restoring balance is a way to get rid of strong emotions, both positive and negative.
Uncontrollable tantrum lasting several hours
Pain relief - Crying releases endorphins and oxytocin. They are able to relieve emotional, physical pain
Developed habit to achieve desired goals, manipulating crying
Mood lift - oxytocin and endorphin relieve pain, improve mood
Shattered nervous system, psyche
Strength in tears - crying - a kind of method to show the world that a person needs help. Crying in public requires inner strength, self-confidence
Sleep is getting better - tears have a calming effect, in addition, it takes a lot of emotional strength. A person gets tired, he is drawn to sleep
Adults may cry as a signal of trouble. In other words, crying is a kind of facial expression that makes others understand that something is wrong.
Effects of holding back tears
Holding back tears in a difficult situation, conversation, from resentment - the accumulation of negative emotions. It takes a lot of strength to stop crying. At the moment, social attitudes have established new rules under which it is shameful to cry.
Girls are forbidden to show anger, anger, while arguing that good girls are calm. Boys are encouraged to endure pain of any kind, but moderate anger is acceptable.
Suppression of emotions has become the norm. It is permissible to show them alone with oneself, in the circle of close people. A striking example is the stereotype of men. If he cries, he is weak. The absolute inability to cry indicates psychological problems. In this case, emotional pain is reflected bodily, manifesting itself in problems with the cardiovascular, nervous systems, and digestive disorders.
The child may burst into tears of resentment when shouted at. This can be both at home and in the classroom. Sometimes it's hard to stop crying. Children are more emotional than adults and express emotions without hesitation. The ban on tears will lead to mental disorders, the child will be clamped, tense, irritable. Later, the attitudes instilled in childhood will lead to a fear of expressing emotions openly. To get rid of this, you need the help of a psychologist.
Do I need drugs in the fight against tears
Any drug, even herbal and homeopathic origin - serious drugs. Their use is permissible after consultation with doctors. For example, sedatives will give relief for a while. However, most of them are addictive, withdrawal syndrome, drowsiness. Instead of experiencing emotions, they are drowned out with the help of drugs. In other words, the symptom is treated, but not the disease itself, the root cause of tears.
Some drugs are addictive, you will need the help of specialists to get rid of it. At a remote consultation, our doctors will talk about techniques that help to cope with stress, resentment, and work out situations. If necessary, they will tell you which clinics to contact for an examination.
Can you make it so that you never cry?
Getting rid of tears forever is an impossible task. You can learn to control yourself, control your emotions. at the same time, always remember that sooner or later, but the release of emotions will still take place.
How to control yourself and not cry when they yell at you?
You can try to calm the opponent by pointing out that there will be no conversation with this manner. Or try to switch attention to something else, some case, object, funny story. You can keep from crying by pinching yourself, looking at the sky, just step back and end the conversation by leaving the room.
What to do when it's insulting to tears from any little things?
In this case, consultation with specialists is necessary. It is important to isolate the reason for this behavior. This may be due to low self-esteem, self-doubt, as a result of an abusive relationship, etc.
Why do girls often hear that they are crybabies?
This is due to the fact that girls are more emotional than men. Plus stereotypes imposed by society. It is normal to express your emotions openly. it's not okay to hide them. You can stop crying by understanding and analyzing the situation.
Tears are the body's physiological need to release emotions, both positive and negative. It is important to understand that there is nothing shameful in the fact that a person cries. Of course, there are times when tears are used to achieve their own goals. But here it is enough to observe the behavior of a person and find out sincerely he is crying, or trying to get some kind of benefit. If possible, it is better to cry alone with yourself, to allow the body to experience and work through emotions.
We publish only verified information
Monakhova Albina Petrovna clinical psychologist
Experience 17 years
Specialist in clinical psychology. Help in finding tools for self-realization, working out beliefs, fears and anxieties. Work with self-attitude, internal boundaries, understanding of interaction with society through conscious personal changes.
- 2007 - 2008 Children's polyclinic No. 4 - teacher psychologist
- 2008 - 2009Healthy Country LLC - Clinical Psychologist
- 2009 - 2021 Republican Narcological Dispensary - psychologist
- 2012 - 2013 Occupational medicine - psychologist
- 2013 - 2015 LLC Vozrozhdenie - psychologist
- 2019 to present Teledoctor24 LLC - psychologist
"How to stop crying over everything?"
Everyone reacts in their own way to the surrounding world and ongoing events, which is absolutely normal and natural. Some cry for any reason, others are so restrained that even an objectively serious situation is not capable of causing them a single tear.
Why are we crying?
Tears are a physiological reaction that occurs in order to protect a person from stress. Everyone has their own predisposition to them, and it depends on many factors: temperament, attitudes that parents and the environment passed on, events from childhood and the reaction of others to them. Yes, of course, crying for any reason in front of strangers, even if they are colleagues or friends, is uncomfortable, but you should not constantly restrain yourself either.
If there is an opportunity to be alone and cry, allow yourself to do this, as this will help to shed the accumulated negativity and restore the emotional state. But if you understand that lately your eyes have been constantly “in a wet place”, then you should understand the reasons for such an emotional reaction and, possibly, seek help.
Possible physiological causes of tears
Several factors can influence your excessive emotionality:
Hormonal changes in the body;
chronic fatigue, depression;
Avitaminosis and anemia;
Psychological reasons should not be discounted:
Difficult life situation;
Loss of a loved one or separation;
Prolonged exposure to stress;
Conflict with others;
Internal conflicts, lack of balance and harmony.
Can you help yourself?
The first thing to do is to eliminate or minimize the factors that upset you as much as possible. It is also necessary to relax the body and mind, as a state of constant tension can lead to more serious and irreversible consequences.
If there is no way to consult a specialist, you should start with self-help. There are several psychological methods of controlling the emotional state, which are considered to be effective and efficient.
Start keeping notes to find out what events, thoughts trigger certain reactions in you. Start tracking exactly what emotions arise and gradually try to manage them. An observation diary will allow you to understand what charges you with positive, and what, on the contrary, unbalances you and makes you nervous and upset.
Factors can be completely different, and in everyday life we sometimes do not attach importance to them. For example, watching the news or talking with a neighbor, scrolling through chats on your phone, or unfinished business that weighs you down.
Many underestimate the power of gratitude. But if you start looking every day for something to thank the events and people around, there will be much less reasons for tears. After all, you will consciously focus on positive things and events, which means that more and more of them will happen in your life. And most importantly, you will learn to notice them!
List of joys
Think about and write down everything that can make you happy, from a cup of aromatic coffee to horseback riding. Fill your everyday life with accessible pleasant moments, whether it's an interesting book or shopping. In a situation where you feel that the usual sadness “rolls up”, change the focus and please yourself.
These practices are not as difficult as they might seem at first glance. Start with a few minutes or seconds: retreat and relax your body, let go of all thoughts and catch the inner silence. These simple but effective steps will help you restore your inner balance and bring more positive emotions.
Sometimes tears are a reaction to both a negative and a positive event. Is it worth worrying about this? First, allow yourself to be yourself. If you are a sensitive person and this feature does not give you much trouble, then tears of joy are by no means your “minus”. But if tears cause a lot of inconvenience and sometimes it is necessary to stop the flow of tears in the moment, use one of the "mechanical" tricks.
Blinking or no blinking
There is something for everyone. For example, frequently batting your eyelashes will help evenly distribute tears and prevent new ones from forming.