How to give him space
How To Give Him Space But Not Lose Him: 25 Things To Do
Giving space while still being close is possible if you know these secret tips.
You understand the importance of space in a relationship but are unsure how to give him space. It’s time to learn about one of the most critical things that partners require in a relationship: space. You must know when to give him space if you want a happy and comfortable relationship. Due to lack of space and me-time, many relationships suffer. Even if a man is madly in love, he may choose to ignore you if he feels overwhelmed. Also, having some space creates a chance to miss each other, which can be refreshing at times. This post includes ideas to offer him space in your relationship without losing him. Also, it gives you some time to focus on yourself.
25 Tips For Giving Your Man Some Space
Giving space to your man might be especially helpful when you have had a fight or when he has become cold and distant. The time spent apart will help both partners to decompress and get back to thinking rationally.
1. Do not call him every second
During the initial stages of the relationship, it is normal to have the urge to call and text your partner many times a day. But, resist the urge and make sure you are giving him some breathing room. If you are always cross about him not messaging or calling you, then you may not be giving him the chance to respond. Avoid overwhelming him by calling four to five times a day. Also, keep the messaging to a minimum.
2. Do not ask too many questions
Where are you going? What are you doing? Who is that woman you are talking to?
You may not have the intention of spying on your man, but if you ask too many questions out of curiosity, it might vex him. While it is not wrong to ask questions, take your time and ask them at the right moment to get the answers without annoying him.
3. Do not be too available
If you are always at his service, he might feel you are obsessed with him. Do not dote on him from the onset. A kind gesture here and there is of course acceptable. Just make sure to seek out a balance between doing things he likes and giving adequate breaks so that he does not perceive you as clingy.
Related: 15 Notable Signs You Really Hurt Him
4. Have a life of your own
If you are in a relationship, then it does not mean that you should not have a life of your own. If you dedicate your entire time to your man, then he might feel the need for space. So, it is good to have your own hobbies, friends, and interests. Who knows it might even impress him more.
5. Never intrude on his personal space
This is something you need to keep in mind early on in the relationship. Some men take their time to open up, and you must respect that. Do not go snooping around his stuff or checking his mobile phone for no reason. Have patience. When it is time, he will even share his deepest thoughts and secrets.
6. Do not make decisions for him
You would look good in this shirt! Let’s sell your old bike!
Your intentions might be good, but never make his decisions for him. Remember that your boyfriend/husband is a functioning adult who had a life before you. Also, most men may feel stifled if you make decisions for them.
7. Do not nag
Another behavior that may drive your man away is nagging. Though this could be because he hasn’t fixed the kitchen drain, even after repeated reminders or his laziness when it comes to cleanliness, nagging incessantly can be a major irritant. So, rather than getting on his case about every small thing, save your grievances for the most important issues.
Related: 5 Signs Of A Nagging Wife And How To Stop Being One
8. Do not move too quickly in the relationship
If your man is taking his time to take next steps, respect his intentions and give him some space. Rather than pushing him into moving in together or popping the question, see if you can divert your attention into making the relationship more enjoyable for both of you.
9. Respect his decisions
If your man makes a decision you like, acknowledge it. This will make him feel important and valued. This does not mean you need to be okay with whatever he says. If you have apprehensions about his decision, initiate an open, calm discussion for better understanding his intentions.
10. Let him have some ‘me’ time
Guys need their personal time. If your man wants to hit the bar with his buddies or go on a fishing trip with his colleagues, then do not get paranoid and stop him. Instead, let him go. You may notice that by giving your man his space, you draw him closer to you. Of course, if he uses this as an excuse to escape from responsibilities, bring your concerns to his attention.
Related: 21 Simple And Effective Tips To Make Him Miss You Like Crazy
11. Do not try to change him
No two people are the same in a relationship, and that is the beauty of it. A relationship will blossom when both the partners learn to respect the uniqueness of each other. If your man has certain qualities that are not harmful but different, do not try to change them since it might smother his freedom to be himself.
12. Understand he might have other priorities
When he has to cancel your date night due to an unforeseen work emergency, understand that he has to prioritize other aspects of his life at times. Your understanding and support will give him breathing space when trying to balance his job, life, and relationship.
13. Do not get jealous
If your man has many close female friends, do not get jealous or doubt him. Do not let jealousy get the best of you. Nothing suffocates a man more than a girl who is jealous and doubts his every move.
Related: Top 15 Expert Tips To Keep Him Interested In You, Forever
14. Make him miss you
Making him miss you does not mean you disappear when he needs you, but it is to distance yourself and make him reach out to you. For example, if you fought with your man, then give him some space while showing him that you still care. This time you give him will make him forget the fight and look forward to being with you again.
15. Spice up your relationship
Did you know? You can spice up your relationship after you have given your partner some space. Wondering how? You can plan an annual vacation together. No matter where you both are all year long, make sure you make this work. A romantic union after some distance will make your man want more of you.
16. Do not force him to do things you like
Do not force your interests and hobbies on him. For example, if you love rollercoasters, while your partner dreads them, do not insist upon his sharing in this activity. Pressuring a man in the name of love will dampen his relationship enthusiasm, and might push him away. Instead, find out what interests both of you and try doing more of that.
17. Go out with your girl squad
If you find your life revolving around your man, and he has become distant or is ignoring you, then this could be an excellent time to gather your besties and go out for drinks or shopping. This time-out might make him miss you and think about you. And you too can cheer up and take your mind off him for some time.
18. Do not stalk him
You decide to give him space, but deep down,you might be suspicious about what he could be doing during this time. Do not fall into the temptation of stalking him, either in person or on social media. It will rob your peace of mind and also make him unhappy. Show some faith and let him have some space. If he has some ulterior pursuits (like an affair), you will know it eventually without having to resort to stalking.
19. Stop worrying
“What is meant to be yours will always find its way back.” So, if your man asks for some space and backs out, do not worry about losing him. Give him the time he needs. If you are sure your love for him is pure and genuine, then have confidence that he will eventually come back to you.
20. Do not be dependent on him
When you are in a relationship, you tend to depend on him for several things. It is okay during some major life decisions, but do not become a damsel in distress for trivial matters. Wanting him to help you in your day-to-day activities will leave him exhausted. Give him some space while you tend to some tasks on your own.
21. Do not punish him for wanting space
It might have hurt your feelings when your man asks for space. Try not to take it personally. Wanting space is a normal part of a healthy relationship. There are times when we all need time to deal with things alone, and getting that space just might bring you closer together.
22. It is not because of you
When a man says he needs space, it’s common to wonder if there is something we’ve done to push them away. But, this may not be the case. Your man probably wants some alone time to recharge or finish some errands. Do not overthink it and ruin your happiness. If you are curious, you can always ask him the reason politely without insisting upon a satisfying answer.
Related: Do I Love Him?' 25 Clear Signs To Know You’re In Love
23.Say no to unreasonable requests
While giving some ‘me’ time to your man is healthy, giving into his selfish requests is unfair. If he wants to leave you with your newborn baby to go on a trip to Las Vegas, then this is unacceptable. Try to set some boundaries between giving space and escaping responsibilities.
24. Accept his decision to need space
If your man said he wants space, then do not become sacred and beg him to stay, instead, accept his decision and let him go. During this time, focus on your own life and try to be a happy and positive person. Take up new hobbies that build your self-confidence. This time away will also give you a chance to look at the relationship from a different perspective.
25. Eventually, ask him why
It is not advisable to ask him why he needs space right away.Take your time and ask the question at the right time. It is your right to know why he needed some space. After a few days, sit with him and discuss it. If he opens up, then be receptive to his views and arrive at any changes through mutual understanding.
1. Does giving space mean no contact?
If your relationship has taken serious turns and either of you is thinking about breaking up, then giving space could mean staying away for a while without contact. This gives you time to think about your relationship. However, if everything is going smoothly between you and your partner, yet you are thinking about giving space, then it doesn’t mean no contact. Perhaps, you could take some time off your partner and set healthy boundaries.
2. How long to give him space?
There is no fixed time, and it could be weeks or months, depending on your relationship status. If your guy has asked you for space, give him all the time he needs and wait for him to reach out to you when he is sorted.
3. Can space save a relationship?
Yes, as long as the partners respect each other’s space and their boundaries, space can be good for the relationship. However, if one partner needs space and the other doesn’t, there should be some convincing reasons. For instance, giving space helps a person grow and makes them independent. When both understand the value of space in a relationship, it could be nourishing for their bond.
If your man has been a little distant lately, it is essential to understand how to give him space to reconnect with things that are important in life. There is a thin line between your partner wanting space and using it simply as an excuse to get out of the relationship. If someone genuinely needs some space and time away, they may distance themselves from you. However, they would never stop loving, caring, or checking in on you. So if he needs it, give him the space he wants while you continue to show that you care without being too indulgent. Also, know that anything meant for you will always return to you.
- If you fought with your man or your relationship with him has grown monotonous, giving him space may help.
- You may choose to have a life of your own while showering him with love and care.
- Respect his decisions but keep the communication channel open to discuss his views and feelings about the relationship.
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Sanjana did her graduation in Pharmacy from Andhra University and post graduation in management from GITAM Institute of Management. It was during her first job, she recognized her skills in writing and began working as a freelance writer. Later, she completely moved into content writing and began working as a full-time content writer. Sanjana's articles in MomJunction cover topics related to...
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Dr. Maggie C. Vaughan is an NYC-based marriage and family therapist with over 15 years of clinical experience. In addition to her private practice, Dr. Vaughan acts as founder and executive director of Happy Apple®, a Midtown Manhattan psychotherapy center. Her center offers online and in-person support groups and therapy to families, individuals of all ages, and couples. With degrees...
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20 Ways to Give a Man Space to Fall in Love
In This Article
Relationships are a fine balance between the never-ending cycle of push and pull. Sometimes, we’re aligned, and sometimes we need different things.
It’s perfectly normal, which is why you should give him space when your man asks for it. The key is to not panic and approach this time strategically.
What does giving a man space mean in a relationship?
We all go through ups and downs in life, and we deal with stress in different ways. Some people like to be alone, and others prefer to reach out to their partners for extra support.
That’s why giving a guy space isn’t necessarily cause for alarm.
It’s perfectly valid to give him space because he needs to sort out his emotions and feelings. Many people find it difficult to connect with their emotions, and men often also face societal pressures about feelings.
A study conducted by research firm Ipsos MORI and commissioned by men’s health charity Movember shows that 58% of men are expected to show no weakness, which is usually linked to emotions.
There’s also something called the Pursuer-Distancer Cycle that marriage and family therapist, Moushumi Gouse, explains in her article. Essentially, one of you tries to get closer, which pushes away the other one.
When this happens, the only choice you have is to give him space gracefully. It’s then a time to self-reflect and focus on personal growth.
The first thing you can actively do when you give him space is to practice breathing. This will help reduce any anxiety and stress. These exercises are a good starting point.
Why giving a man space will get him back?
When you give him space and make him miss you, first consider the physical versus emotional space. What exactly is he asking for? For example, many of us have firm physical boundaries, and we need alone time to recharge and self-reflect.
On the other hand, perhaps when he needs space, it’s simply to work through his emotions. It’s worth noting that emotions are complex and are still being researched. Nevertheless, this can work to your advantage.
Neuroscientists have proven that we need to seek things and people because the reward centers in the brain get activated even when we’re just chasing something we can’t have.
This isn’t about being manipulative when giving a guy space. Instead, it’s about showing yourself in the best light possible as an independent and confident woman.
There’s nothing more attractive than a woman who is at ease with herself and who can connect emotionally with those around her.What not to do when giving a guy space
First and foremost, if he wants space, never plead or cling. Desperation is not an attractive trait. That also means not stalking him on social media or turning up as if by surprise where you know he tends to go out. It’s both creepy and will drive you insane.
Another trap that many women fall into is trying to control the situation. Of course, controlling behavior can be in both men and women.
Regardless, make sure it’s not you when you give him space. On the contrary, listen to him and respect his wishes. That’s the best way to help me relax and not become defensive.
How much space should I give him? If this question is rolling around in your head, stop and pause. It’s actually the wrong question. The question is, how are you going to use the time for yourself?
Only by re-prioritizing yourself can you start oozing self-respect and self-esteem. That’s when you give him space, and he’ll come back.
20 ideas to give a man space to fall in love again
Does giving a man space work? Yes, it can, very simply because we tend to want what we don’t have.
Nothing is absolute when it comes to human relationships, though, but there are ways to give him space and make him miss you, starting with these ideas:1. Don’t call or text but be there
This is all about not panicking and not forcing yourself on him when he needs space. Of course, it can feel disheartening when a man we love tells us he wants space. Try to remember not to take it personally by getting some perspective.
Remind yourself that he just needs some time. So, give him space and show how much you respect his needs.
Also Try: Should I Text Him Quiz2. Reconnect with yourself
How to give him space and make him miss you is necessarily going to be easy. You might prefer to hide under the covers and not face the world. The best thing you can do when you give him space for himself is to also refocus on yourself.
By feeling good and looking fabulous, you’ll make him want you back. Moreover, you’ve taken time out for self-care, and you feel positive again.3. Be exciting
Now for a bit of reverse psychology for how to give him space and make him miss you. Naturally, there’s a fine line with manipulation, so don’t overdo it.
Nevertheless, you can use your newly-found space to get out and have some exciting times with your friends. Your man will then see that you’re doing ok. They’ll then feel distant, and generally, they’ll want to come back.
Also Try: Fun Personality Quizzes for Women4. Be empathic
When you give a man space to fall in love, you need to show your nurturing and caring side. So, when they ask for space, make sure you thank them for being honest. Then just listen to what they need.
Try to see it from their viewpoint so that you can connect with what’s perhaps going on for them that you might have missed. For instance, have they been overworked both in their jobs and at home?5. Listen to what he needs
Listening is a skill that takes practice. It needs curiosity and attention such that we step out of our heads for a short time. At the same time, you try to connect with his feelings and emotions as he asks you to give him space.
This approach helps you better understand what’s going on without losing your emotions and overreacting. You’ll also convey an image of calm and respect, which is much more appealing than the anxious, screaming alternative.
Also Try: Quiz: Are You Open with Your Partner?6. Self-care
Don’t ask yourself, “how much space should I give him.” Instead, ask yourself, “how much space do I now need.” Of course, it’s hard, but if you can flip the situation around and see it as a welcome time off for yourself, things will be much easier.
Self-care comes in many different forms. Whether you need emotional, spiritual, or physical self-care, see if this list can help you get more ideas.7. Personal goals
Needing space can happen to anyone. Sometimes, we don’t even realize it ourselves that we need space until we crack.
So, take the opportunity when you give him space to review your goals and how the relationship is supporting those. Do you want anything to change?
Reflecting through will then put you back in the driving seat, so to speak, when you do meet and talk again. Both of you have needs and goals, and great relationships work by aligning those goals.
If you just say yes to everything when he comes back after needing space, the chances are he’ll lose respect for you.8. Sit with your fears
Give him space, and he’ll come back if you first make sure that you can manage your fears. Processing your emotions so that you can let them go is the first step in managing ourselves so that we can be more open to others around us.
A great way to do that is by journaling. The simple act of writing about our fears and feelings gives us time to experience those emotions. They then float away more easily so that we react less.
Also Try: Fear of Rejection Quiz9. Be mysterious
Why not spark his curiosity when you give him time? You can do this relatively easily by not offering all the details about your week when you do sit down and talk.
Moreover, you don’t have to describe everything during your girls night out, do you? Again, this isn’t about being manipulative or secretive but about having an air of mystery.
Check out this video if you want more details about how to do this and make him crave you:
Do you know which hobbies you’ve given up on? Perhaps some books that have just been gathering dust that you want to read?
Give him space but give yourself space and rediscover what you love doing. This gives you the independence and maturity that men love. After all, no one wants a clingy or needy partner.11. Wait before responding to messages
This can be hard these days when messages are constantly popping up on our phones. Nevertheless, when you give him time, and he sends you a message, whatever you do, wait.
Make sure he knows you’re busy and not pining after him. Whether that’s the case or not doesn’t matter. Simply make sure he knows that you have a life but that you’re there for him also, within reason.
Also Try: 100 Sexy Texts for Her to Drive Her Wild12. Spend time with other guys
Of course, this isn’t about cheating. On the contrary, have fun with your friends, both male, and female, and be free.
You can easily post on social media that you’re having a great time, and he’ll want to come back. Remember, though, that it’s not about being dishonest but about living your life and not crying in a corner somewhere.
Related Reading: Making Time For You And Your Spouse13. Be happy
This might sound odd, but we can rewire our brain to be more positive and happier. Neuroscientist Rick Hanson tells us in his interview that we need to pay special attention to the positive things in life for us to remember them.
Our brains tend to focus on the negatives, but you can counteract this by looking for what you can be grateful about. So, try to list 10 things you’re grateful for at this moment.14. Check in with your attachment style
It’s worth getting familiar with attachment style theory if you feel stuck in the Pursuer-Distancer cycle. As Dr. Patel explains in her article, we all develop how we attach ourselves to those close to us when we grow up as children.
We are either secure, anxious, or avoidant, and this carries on into our adult relationships. Try this quiz if you want to discover where you are for yourself.15. Make your own decisions
This might sound obvious because, after all, you’re giving him time and space. Nevertheless, get used to making your own decisions without relying on him.
Most importantly, enjoy it and remember that you have so much to offer the world as well as to yourself. This can only translate into positive vibes that will draw him back in.16. Have fun together
Giving a man space doesn’t mean going off the radar. Some couples agree to meet every few weeks, for instance.
Whatever it is for you, make sure that you focus on the positives when you do meet. Bring humor along with you and have fun.17. Set specific dates
Suppose he’s open to meeting, then set specific dates so that it becomes a firm commitment. Of course, you’ll have to read the situation and see if he’s ready for that.
The last thing he needs when you give him space is to then be cornered. You might have to wait for him to make that first step but when he does, ask for specifics.
Also Try: Finding Out If I Am Ready To Date Again Quiz18. Understand your differences
Giving a guy space gives you a huge opportunity to reflect on how you’re compatible and where you’re different. Can you solve the differences, or are they perpetual problems, as Dr. Gottman describes?
Then you can get planning how to solve those problems to find a way forward while being happy about what you need to let go of.19. Trust
Sometimes you simply have to trust the process. Yes, this will be hard, but to give him space, you’re also taking the time to focus on yourself. That way, you can rebuild your inner confidence, everything will be much easier.
Believe in yourself, and the rest will follow. If it doesn’t, for whatever reason, then you know you tried your best, and it just wasn’t meant to be.20. Evaluate your relationship
Let’s not forget that giving a guy space also means that we get space to review the relationship. If you want him to come back, try the steps above.
If, on the other hand, you don’t, this gives you the perfect opportunity. The choice will become clear as you reflect and enjoy some self-care.Conclusion
So, does giving a man space work? Absolutely but you need to be strategic about it. Make sure you reconnect with yourself, including lots of self-care, and you make yourself fabulous.
Add an air of mystery with some humor and excitement, and he’ll soon be wondering what all the fuss was about.
5 effective tips on how to communicate with difficult people
Contents of the article
Almost anyone can find a common language with a nice person, when common topics are immediately found, the conversation becomes interesting and exciting. But how often do we come across such people?! Sometimes you have to establish communication with difficult people at work, in everyday life, and not everyone can cope with this. This skill can be useful for you to complete tasks and solve various problems. Let's take a look at 5 working methods that will help you cope with even the most difficult personalities.
Being calm will help you hide your emotions and prevent another person from influencing you. Most conflicters deliberately behave in such a way as to piss off a person and begin to sort things out with him. Here it is important not to succumb to tricks, take a couple of breaths, relieve internal tension and calmly continue the dialogue. When a difficult person feels that you are confident and not going to defend yourself, then he will lose the desire to behave in this way.
Empathize with the interlocutor
Often difficult people behave defiantly because they are overwhelmed with pain that eats from the inside. In such a situation, a person needs sympathy, not abuse and punishment. Therefore, try to put yourself in the place of your interlocutor, feel what the person feels, and pay attention to him.
Conscious communication is when you can disengage negative emotions by remaining calm, reasonable, and direct throughout the conversation. This is the ability to conduct a constructive conversation, not paying attention to sarcasm or irony. For example, to interrupt the endless stream of thoughts, ask directly "what do you end up offering?". Or, to discourage the interlocutor and dispel anger, answer that perhaps the interlocutor is right. Do not use categorical words like “always”, “never”, “impossible” in communication. You will find even more useful recommendations in the course “Building Relationships the Right Way”. After training, you will be able to build good relationships not only with colleagues at work, but also with your team, family and children.
Stop the conversation if it has gone too far
If you behaved confidently and consciously, sympathized with the person, but the conversation is still accompanied by negativity. So it's time to stop it. This can be done using the following phrases:
- “Are you sure that your proposal is the only correct one?”
- "Do you think I don't understand what you are trying to do now?"
- “After listening to all your reproaches and complaints, I understand that you talked too much about this. What way out of this situation do you propose?
Another way to sober up a person and put him in his place is to point out your boundaries, which should not be violated. To do this, speak to the interlocutor confidently, in a strong and calm voice, looking directly into his eyes. Tell the person "I see you've had a difficult day, let's end this conversation. " Such behavior, if not reassuring, will definitely sober a person and make him think.
10 win-win ways to resist the manipulator
Contents of the article
Many people use manipulation in their work and personal life in order to force a person to perform certain actions. Sometimes this is beneficial, but in most cases, the manipulator acts in their own interests. Therefore, it is important to be able to recognize manipulation techniques in order to protect yourself in unpleasant situations.
Get rid of the cause of manipulation
A person can provide you with a certain service for free, for example, get you a job or give you money in a difficult situation. And then begin to periodically remind you of this in passing, asking you to fulfill a small request. For example, fill out a report for me or stay after work and help me with a task. In such a situation, it is necessary to neutralize the manipulator and deprive him of his main motive - return the money, find another job.
Redirect attention to the manipulator
Your colleague likes to ingratiate himself, press on pity, and then shift his responsibilities to you. At this point, he definitely does not expect the same request from you. The simpler and more specific your answer is, the faster you will unsettle the manipulator. When asked to fill out a report, ask if your colleague can write one contract for you.
Use your first name
Studies show that people become friendlier when they are called by their first names during conversations. Ask the manipulator how he likes to be called: Vanya or Ivan? Use his name more often in appeals and, perhaps, the interlocutor will like you and turn his attention to someone else.
Look straight in the eye while talking
When the manipulator starts to push you and insist on your point, look him straight in the eye to confuse him. Answer confidently and leave him no room for objection.
Don't let one fact generalize
Often, manipulators will take one situation out of context and claim that you do it all the time. For example, your boss may accuse you of being constantly late, even though you were late for the second time in six months, which in no way can mean constant lateness. Therefore, calmly ask for an example of when exactly you were late for the last time.
Repeat your thought
If you feel that the manipulator does not come to meet you and begins to put even more pressure, then clearly repeat the same thought. For example, a wife says to her husband: “You don’t hear me at all, I no longer have the strength.” It is worth answering: “I am ready to listen to you again.” Repeat this phrase several times until its meaning reaches the manipulator. Do not let put pressure on pity, silence will definitely not help here.
This was a piece of useful information on how to deactivate the offender and fight back. And in order not to get into conflict situations or resolve them at the same time, check out the free online course "Conflict Management". From the course, you will learn what types of conflicts exist, how to resolve them and how to make everyone happy.