How to detach yourself

Why & How To Emotionally Detach Yourself From Someone

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Last Update on January 19, 2023 : Published on April 15, 2020

Whether we talk about a toxic friendship or a toxic romantic relationship, there are times when we need to just let go and get emotionally detached. Some relationships are too emotionally draining, not only on your physical health but on your mental and emotional health.

Here, detaching yourself from others can be the only way out to protect your mental and emotional well-being. Before we get into why and how to detach emotionally from someone, it is important to know what emotional detachment actually is.

Emotional detachment is the ability to disconnect from another person on an emotional level. This means you are actually willing to end all emotional ties with the other person. Despite being seen in a bad light often, there are times when you should know the art of emotionally detaching yourself from others.

When needed, it can be your ultimate weapon against an emotionally draining relationship. Before you learn how to distance yourself from someone, let’s take a look at what is detachment.

What Is Detachment?

You can think about detachment in two different ways. One, it can mean avoiding specific people or situations that constantly cause you stress or anxiety. These people or situations can also be emotionally draining that you want to avoid, so you want to detach yourself from such. Two, it can mean creating solid boundaries to protect your mental and emotional health.

Setting boundaries can help you avoid stress, anger, anxiety, disappointment, and resentment that usually occur in relationships – personal and professional. These feelings occur when your limits are pushed beyond your control.

Now, detachment does not mean that you lack emotions, nor it means that you lack empathy. Emotional distancing can be a sign of depression but voluntarily detaching yourself from someone does not mean that you have depression.

Detaching from someone is a sign of maintaining healthy boundaries where expectations are clear and what are your limits are clearly defined. While emotional detachment from someone might look rude, it’s not the intention of one who prefers to emotionally distance themselves from someone.

What Causes Emotional Detachment?

Many reasons could be behind practicing emotional detachment from someone. Some of the reasons could be;

Negative experiences such as neglect, abuse, or trauma
Personal decision
Struggling with PTSD, depression, or personality disorders

When you choose to detach yourself from someone, understanding or stating your reasons for the decision can help you make rational choices. If you’re unable to understand your reasons for detaching yourself from someone – emotionally – you can consider speaking to a professional who can help you identify your reasons and how you can healthily detach yourself from someone you love deeply.

Talk to the experts right now!

It is very hard to emotionally detach yourself from things that you have developed a bond with. Yes! There are times when we are so deeply attached to someone that any sort of detachment is tough.

So, how to detach yourself from someone you love deeply? Here are some of the best ways you can detach yourself spiritually and Emotionally from things or people. Again make sure you put these points into practice and see yourself changing gradually.

1. Find A Very Concrete Reason Why You Want The Detachment

Again, we are not saying to completely stop communicating with someone or behave with contempt. Yet, there should be at least one point that will take out all the emotions from you towards that person or thing. Think of this reason and keep reminding yourself every day that it is this very reason because of which you want to completely detach yourself from this person or thing.

Let’s say you want to find an answer to how to detach from someone you love. Maybe this person has now become very toxic, he or she has started to become indifferent, has started to belittle you. You probably won’t need more reasons to emotionally detach yourself. Still! As a person of a stronger character, don’t disrespect them back or belittle them.

Also Read: 5 Simple Steps to Deal with Toxic People

2. Start Small But Take Gradual Steps

Emotional detachment in relationships doesn’t happen overnight. You won’t be able to completely detach yourself from someone just like that. So, start by getting rid of small memories that remind you of them. Maybe you could get rid of their messages to begin with.

3. Invest In Your Skills, Keep Yourself Preoccupied

This is the time you can become better at a skill and become so good that you don’t have to depend on people.

Remember how earnestly you wanted to get into that university? Remember your dream job for which you were looking for courses? Well! This could be an opportunity. Put all your mind and heart into learning whatever it was that you had left behind.

This way, you will gradually move your focus from the person or thing you wish to emotionally detach from.

Why just learn a skill? Do anything that’ll shift your focus – go out for that long holiday, cook yourself a yummy breakfast or buy a pet.

Must Read: 8 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship

4. Don’t Let Someone Come Too Close To You

Wondering how to emotionally distance yourself from someone? Take a step back and analyze how close that person is to you.

Unless and until it is someone who you can actually confide in (and when we say that we mean you know the person like the back of your hand), don’t disclose every aspect of your life to them.

Unless necessary you shouldn’t even tell them your plans. Be very discreet in who you joke around with or even hang out with. It’s good to ask for help but sharing the most intrinsic secrets should be done with someone really trustworthy.

5. Think Forward And Forgive If Needed

Think specifically of the future. You might or might not see that person in your future goals. So, figure out ways of dealing with tasks without this person right from now.

This way, you will even learn to become independent. If there has been a past, it would be better if you let it go. In fact, think about how brilliant and awesome your future will be. So much so, that there are no traces of the past whatsoever.

If you want to detach from that person because of the wrong they have done to you. For instance if they’ve broken your trust. Try forgiving them. This way you are letting go of the reason that could be stopping you from moving ahead. You will find that over a period of time, you might as well have forgotten them.

6. Seek Help From Therapists

We know how taxing emotional detachment in relationships can be. We also know that there can be instances that would have taken a serious toll on your emotions such as going through a breakup or leaving a toxic relationship with a friend or spouse.

Such relationships are complicated and despite leaving, emotional remnants tend to haunt you for a long period of time. In such cases, if you are finding it hard to emotionally distance yourself from people, it is advisable to seek professional unbiased help from therapists.

Get Help from a Licensed Therapist

Suggested Read: Top Online Therapy and Counseling Programs

Why Should You Emotionally Detach Yourself From Someone Or Something?

Emotional detachment is often seen in a bad light. We completely agree that emotions are what make us human. But, there are times when we need to use these emotions intelligently. That’s because if you don’t, some people with ulterior motives might just misuse it.

Listen to Podcast On How You Can Exercise Emotional Intelligence In Daily Life

If intelligently exercised, say for instance if you learn to control your emotions while at the workplace you will be able to make wiser decisions and even maintain a healthy distance with your colleagues. Now, that you have learned how to detach emotionally from someone or rather, how to stay emotionally detached, wouldn’t you want to know what benefits you will reap?

Here are some reasons why should emotionally detach yourself from things or people –

Read More:- 10 Best Instagram Therapists To Follow For A Stronger Relationship

1. You’ll Be At Peace – Mentally!

Let’s say you were emotionally dependent on a colleague at work. He or she would support you every time your boss got angry at you or helped you when you were stressed because of a task. Then one day, this colleague had to move to a different job or to a different department. As a result, you became clueless of how you would be able to tackle things.

2. The Judgement Of People Won’t Matter To You

Image Source: Huffington Post

You may ask why? That’s because if you are not so emotionally attached to people, you won’t take things personally and react rationally against people. You will be able to exercise your common sense in a much better manner. And, last but not least (and trust us on this one) since you won’t have to tussle with people to drive points, you won’t get exhausted.

3. You’ll Have Lesser And Lesser Amount of Memories (Bad Ones)

Have you been harping upon the good times with a person who is now completely indifferent to you? If you are somewhat emotionally detached you will have fewer and lesser amounts of such memories. You will be able to look at people in a completely unbiased manner and not judge people because at some point they behaved in a certain way with you.

4. You’ll Be Less Vulnerable

Again emotions are nice. It is a human act that makes us lovable, makes us look sane but if you are someone who makes decisions in the fit of emotions, sorry friend! But the can also be your foe if you let them control you. You will always see yourself landing in a weak situation. On the other hand, if you know how to practice emotional detachment, people will find it hard to move you.

Now, you know why at times you should be emotionally detached. Here’s what next you might want to know – how to emotionally detach from someone or something. It might not be easy but if you have the will and the right mindset even love or the highest level of affection won’t get in your way. You will also find an answer to how to detach from someone you love.

Also Read:- 7 Ways To Communicate When Angry Like Emotionally Intelligent People

Some General FAQs:-

1. What does it mean to emotionally detach yourself?

Emotional detachment means to be able to detach or disconnect with anyone on an emotional level. In simple terms, it is when you put your emotions aside when dealing with a person or object. On the brighter side, if you practice emotional detachment, you would look at the other person’s actions more pragmatically.

2. How do I detach myself from my partner?

Again, you are solely responsible for your happiness. Speak this aloud to yourself till you believe it. It isn’t your partner who is necessary for your happiness but you. You needn’t feel guilty or even worry about their well being.

If you or your partner have decided to move on, it’s fairly clear that you or your partner want to take complete charge of your own life.

3. How do you emotionally detach yourself from someone you like?

We understand that doing this can be tough! But by practicing healthy emotional detachment you’ll do yourself a lot of good. While trying to look at the relationship objectively, focus on what you are most passionate about.

If your primary passion reminds of the person you like, pick something else and put your heart and soul in it.

4.

How do you detach from a relationship?

There are times when you just cannot fix relationships and the harder you try to fix them, the more toxic they’ll become. So, the first and the foremost thing you should do is to accept this fact that this “partnership” has now become toxic and the sooner you’ll get out of it, the better your life would be. And, we have already discussed some of the best ways you can learn how to emotionally detach yourself.

What Do You Think?

Is emotional detachment good or bad? We hope we have been able to help you with how to practice emotional detachment. Which of the above reasons or ways most resonates with you, do let us know in the comments section below.

Till then, enrich yourself with more such content and do not forget to follow us on all social media platforms.

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How to Tell It’s Time to Let Go of That Relationship I Psych Central

Whether it’s a complicated romantic relationship or a toxic one with family, there are times you just have to let go.

We’ve all experienced relationships that felt too involved or emotionally draining. These unhealthy relationships can be draining both mentally and physically.

Sometimes, detaching from them is the best way to take care of your mental health and well-being.

There are several reasons you may need to detach from a relationship.

If there’s physical or verbal abuse, if the relationship is causing you undue stress and anxiety, if you’ve noticed a change in your mood when around that person — these are just some of the reasons why it may be time to consider detaching yourself emotionally from that relationship.

But whatever the reason, understanding why you need to detach and how to do it can help you move on in a way that’s best for you.

There are a couple of ways to think about detachment.

It can mean avoiding certain people or situations that are causing you stress or anxiety, which can sometimes lead to “emotional numbing,” or the dampening of emotions.

Or, it can mean building and maintaining boundaries to preserve your mental health. By setting clear boundaries in your relationships, you can avoid the feelings of stress, anger, resentment, and disappointment that often build up when limits are pushed or ignored.

Now that you have a better idea of what emotional detachment is, it’s also a good idea to understand what detachment is not.

It doesn’t mean that you aren’t able to feel or that you lack emotions, nor does it mean you lack empathy. While emotional detachment can be a symptom of depression, voluntary detachment isn’t an indication that you have depression.

Rather, it’s about building healthy boundaries to make your expectations clear and establish what behavior is comfortable for you and what is not.

While some people view voluntary detachment as “rude” or “unfeeling,” that’s rarely the intention of the person detaching from the relationship.

There are several reasons why people may feel they need to emotionally detach from a relationship — whether that’s an intimate relationship or a complicated family one.

Some of those reasons include:

past experiences (neglect, abuse, or trauma)
personal choice
medication use, such as antidepressants
other mental health conditions, such as PTSD, depression, or a personality disorder

When deciding whether to detach from a relationship, identifying your reasons for detaching can be helpful in your decision making.

If you can’t figure out why you’re detaching, consider reaching out to a healthcare or mental health professional. Talking with someone may help you determine why you’re doing it and how to do it in a way that’s best for you.

Detaching from a relationship doesn’t mean you’re abandoning that person or that you’ve stopped caring about them.

It can mean taking a step back to evaluate how that relationship is affecting you and your mental health.

Do you obsessively worry about that person all the time? Do you try to rescue them from making choices you don’t feel are healthy?

Do you feel that you have to tell them what to do all the time? Does that person do the same to you?

Taking responsibility for another person’s actions and behaviors can be tiring and overwhelming at times. In the same way, having another person trying to tell you how to act and behave can be equally frustrating.

Detaching can give you the emotional space you need to take care of yourself. Sometimes, caring too much about another person’s life and problems can have a negative impact on your own emotional and physical health.

You may start to have headaches, lose sleep, or be more irritable. Excessive worry can lead to anxiety, fear, or panic.

So, when do you know it’s time to let go?

When your health depends on someone else’s actions and behaviors, it may be time to consider letting them go.

Now that you’ve made the decision that it’s time to let someone go, how do you actually do it? Here are some things you can try.

Identify the reason

Ask yourself why you’re now deciding to detach from the relationship. Having a solid reason to let go is important.

Without a strong reason, you may cave in and stay in the relationship. When identifying the reason you want to get out of the relationship, try to focus on the things that are progressive, rather than one-off issues.

For example, try to focus on the fact that your feelings for that person have changed over time, not that you got in your first fight.

Release your emotions

Releasing the emotion you feel about getting out of a difficult relationship is an important step in the process.

Whether you choose to cry, dance, or take a kickboxing class, it’s a good idea to release these emotions rather than bottle them up. By having an outlet for these emotions, you’ll be able to release the tension and avoid saying something you’ll regret.

Don’t react, respond

When leaving a relationship, there will inevitably be a difficult conversation.

During that conversation, the other person may say something that causes you to have a reaction. Reaction is a split-second decision and often can lead to regret.

Instead, take a deep breath and respond thoughtfully. By allowing the other person some space in the conversation and letting yourself take a moment to think more clearly, it’ll be a more productive conversation.

Start small

Just like smoking, quitting a relationship cold turkey can be painful and a shock to your system.

In some cases, you might consider starting small, slowly removing yourself a little at a time.

For example, start by one day deleting pictures of the two of you. Another day, delete their old messages. As you gently let go, your emotions will stay in check.

In other cases — like if the relationship is traumatic or involves domestic abuse or mistreatment — moving slowly may make things worse and cause more distress. Consider talking about next steps with a professional who specializes in these types of relationships.

Keep a journal

As you let go of a relationship, you’ll feel some big emotions. While it can be difficult to talk about them with other people, it can be helpful to work through your emotions in some way.

A journal can be a great way to process your feelings in a healthy, cathartic way.

Meditate

Meditating can train your awareness and attention, which can be especially helpful during a highly emotional break-up.

Meditation can also increase your focus, reduce your stress, encourage calm, and help reduce negative feelings.

Be patient with yourself

Walking away from a relationship that was important to you can be challenging. So, try to give yourself some grace and patience to move on.

Remember that you can learn how to have healthy attachments. It’s all a process, and you can enjoy the journey along the way.

Look forward

If you’re focused on looking at what your relationship used to be like, it will be increasingly difficult to walk away from it. It’s natural to look back and see only the best in a person or a relationship.

But looking back will leave you stuck in the relationship.

Instead, look to the future. Think about your future happiness, rather than glorify the past.

If you’re in an unhealthy romantic relationship that involves abuse or mistreatment, there are some additional steps you may want to take.

Try to avoid sexual contact

Try to stop all sexual contact with the person you’re leaving. Sexual contact can strengthen your attachment and make it nearly impossible to successfully leave the relationship.

Try to stay away from alcohol or drugs

As tempting as it might be to temporarily forget about the pain and work of leaving a relationship, alcohol and drugs provide only temporary forgetfulness of the problem.

They won’t solve the issues and can actually be more harmful, as they can contribute to your attachment to the relationship.

Instead of looking for an escape in alcohol or drugs, try to face your feelings and the relationship head-on.

Consider joining a support group

Remember that you’re not alone. There are support groups available where you can share your experiences with others who’ve been in your shoes.

By joining a support group, you’ll connect with a group of people who know what it’s like to escape these types of relationships and can offer guidance and support during your journey.

If an in-person support group is too overwhelming for you, consider a virtual one.

Consider asking for help

Having the support of loved ones can play a role in you successfully leaving an unhealthy or harmful relationship.

Consider asking people you trust for their support and love during this challenging time. Explain that you might need them more during the coming months and communicate your challenges.

Remember: They love you and want to help.

If you’ve experienced an unhealthy relationship that involves abuse or mistreatment, seeking help from a licensed mental health professional can be beneficial to your mental health.

It will allow you to process your experience and come out the other side stronger and more able to form healthy attachments in the future.

If you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship, consider that it may be time to let that relationship go.

This, of course, is easier said than done. Sometimes it’s hard to leave because you’re so entwined with that person, and sometimes it’s hard to leave because the other person doesn’t want to let you go.

Remember that detaching doesn’t mean you’re cruel or selfish.

When it comes to your emotional health, taking care of yourself is the best thing you can do for your overall well-being.

How to get rid of the person with whom you communicate, emotionally

There is nothing wrong with attachment that forms against the background of a healthy relationship. It reflects love, the desire to take care. But if the attachment has features of dependence, it is better not to support it. How to get rid of the person to whom you have become attached?

In this article:

What is an unhealthy attachment How to emotionally detach from a person

What is an unhealthy attachment

Photo by Ron Lach: Pexels

Remember if you had a relationship in which you felt broken, felt ashamed, could not say what you really think, and at the same time continued to support them with the stubbornness of a masochist. You left your beloved, returned again, asked for forgiveness, followed him in reality and social networks, tried to control his actions.

I hated myself for this, but, having tried to end the relationship, I experienced literally physical pain and again went to the “beloved”. All these signs point to an unhealthy attachment that has formed in relation to a man.

You may think that you love him, but in reality it is an addiction that you cannot get rid of

An unhealthy attachment is formed in accordance with the following algorithm:

Perhaps your boyfriend left you, you lost your job, all sorts of troubles fell on your head at the same time. Or you just have nothing to do, and you dream of the love of your life.

Against the background of all these events, you internally experience self-doubt, emptiness, you do not believe that the situation will ever improve, you are afraid of the future.

And then a man appears on the stage - your savior.

He lives a full life; he is happy and cheerful. It seems to you that with him you will find happiness, calm down, feel comfort and confidence in yourself and your future.

Over time, however, you begin to notice that his liveliness and activity are formed due to the fact that he manipulates you.

A young man (friends, girlfriends) is satisfied with your position as a victim, and he begins to use it. He is inspired by the fact that a person has appeared who admires him, runs like a dog, is always ready to do what he asks.

At the same time, a guy may not be an outright manipulator. However, he accepts your affection and does not want to frankly say that he does not need you.

Theory of Attachment

For your part, you first experience admiration, and then you realize that not only can you not recover after talking with a guy, but you feel worse every time.

You try to break the cycle of addiction, but you experience something like withdrawal and become more attached.

You can become attached to a partner, children, girlfriends, absolutely strangers. But in this article, we will focus on relationships with young people.

How to emotionally detach from a person

It is difficult to break the circle of formed unhealthy attachment. This requires careful, daily work on yourself and on relationships. We present a step-by-step process that is needed to get rid of a person.

Awareness of an unhealthy attachment

Forgetting about all your affairs, interests, friends, you rush to meet a new acquaintance. You don't sleep at night. You change plans. Everything inside you is churning. There is only one thought in my head - how happy you are to meet him.

But the meeting did not take place - he forgot, he could not warn. Or it was, but with all his appearance the young man showed that for him it was so - a chance meeting. As a result, you go home broken, disappointed. However, you justify your boyfriend.

Instead of justifying him, forgiving him, analyze what happened.

A young man took advantage of your real or imagined passion.

He doesn't appreciate you or doesn't understand what you want from him.
You feel humiliated and trampled because you feel that you have done something against your nature.

Record the thoughts and feelings that arise. Analyze if you always feel this way after contact with this guy. Are there other factors that affect your well-being.

If it is obvious that problems only arise after dealing with one person, then accept this fact and read on for advice.

Breaking the attachment in the imagination

To get rid of the person you are attached to, you need to try to break the dependence on him. To do this, you have to work in the imagination and in reality.

Photo by Melanie Brumble: Pexels

Let's start with a mental exercise.

In peace and quiet, imagine yourself, your partner, and the countless threads that bind you. They can be thick or thin. Draw them in the form of fishing line, twine, rope. The main thing is to vividly and fully imagine them in your mind and not lose the image that has arisen.

Now take your scissors and cut all these threads. Check that there is not a single, even the thinnest thread left between you.

Repeat the exercise every day until, imagining you together, you see that nothing binds you.

Another exercise - picture in your mind how your young man flies away from you to another continent. You hardly ever see each other. And you just let it go.

Breaking attachment in reality

When you get rid of a person mentally, don't forget to work with reality as well.

Set several goals for yourself and fulfill them methodically:

Whatever happens, don't date a young man for a week, two, a month. Let him invite you on dates, parties, come up with activities that you will do.

Well, if you really will do something, and interesting. Then interest, pleasure will eventually create a new goal, it will be easier for you to switch and remove dependence.

Don't keep the guy's stuff. Give them to him or hide them.
Messages from him should be deleted or archived so as not to read them every time, looking for signs of his "true" love for you and not learning them by heart.
Do not go to his page in social networks and ignore publications. If you can't, don't visit social media at all for a few days.

Yes, it's difficult. But only by making an effort you can free yourself.

Meeting new opportunities

Force yourself to leave the house, move. Go on a little trip, sign up for courses. Don't pretend you don't have time. It is quite obvious that even if you have a lot of work, you will spend half a day thinking about your boyfriend.

Try to live consciously - don't have your head in the clouds, don't imagine that suddenly a young man will suddenly appear on your way. Watch what is happening around, look at nature, architecture, people. Enjoy the flavors.

Consciously experiencing reality allows you to replace attachment, fantasies and fears with real impressions.

Everything inside you may be against meeting new people and against getting adrenaline. But get out of your comfort zone, feel the excitement. It will help you feel free.

Openness to new acquaintances

For a person who is in an unhealthy relationship, meeting new people can be a shock. He refuses to go to discos, movies, parties. Consciously builds an impenetrable wall around himself.

To get rid of attachment, you need to break the fortress around you and allow yourself to get to know people, listen to them, admire them. So you will see alternatives to communicating with one person, you will meet those who will help you get out of addiction.

There is a possibility that at the same time you will meet someone you really love.

what is dangerous and how to get rid of || Family practice

It is impossible to go through life absolutely without addictions. This is not always bad, and does not necessarily lead to fatal consequences. For example, an all-consuming craving for creativity often brings positive results. This is how literary masterpieces, world artistic values, immortal musical creations are born.

But there is a type of dependence that is not creative, but destructive: from food, alcohol, smoking, drugs, casinos. Among psychological catastrophes are dependencies on partners born in the depths of child-parent relationships.

Definition of the concept

Emotional dependence is not a mental disorder or disease. This is a style of behavior that was imposed on a person at some point in life, left an indelible mark and developed into unhealthy interpersonal relationships in the future.

People who suffer from emotional dependence are unable and unwilling to live their lives, deny their desires and needs. They try to fill the spiritual emptiness by dedicating themselves to another person, with whom they check every step they take.

Children's stories

“Alina grew up in a family where everyone was on their own. Mom and dad worked hard, even on weekends they sat at the table opposite each other in silence, emotionally squeezed out of the week. Alina and her older brother got crumbs of attention. The domineering and selfish grandmother, whose interests were limited to a tonometer for measuring pressure, did not even try to compensate for the lack of expression of parental love for children. The brother found an outlet in the virtual world of global networks. Alina tried to attract the attention of her parents: she ran away from home, skipped classes so that her mother would take time off from work and fly to school, and then sit and talk with her daughter. She also drew a lot, and secretly waited for approval of her creations...”

There are thousands of similar life stories. Violation of personality development in the early period makes a person in the adult world look for relationships that would make up for the lack of affection and attention. "Unloved" is in constant search of a partner who would give him what he did not receive in childhood and adolescence.

Consulting

Psychotherapist

Psychologist

Family psychologist

Signs of emotional dependence

Despite the fact that emotionally dependent people have a great desire for stable relationships, it is difficult for them to create a normal family. Due to low self-esteem and emotional "overload" they fail to keep a partner. It is difficult for them to create equal close relationships, they are terribly afraid of being rejected.

Signs of emotionally dependent people:

they do not understand and do not respect themselves;
are highly dependent on other people's opinions;
tend to sacrifice themselves;
cannot refuse a request even if it is "mission impossible";
they have no personal desires, interests, aspirations;
constantly expect to be appreciated and loved;
completely dissolve in the partner;
constant need to be close to loved ones;

Such people experience the breakup of relationships much brighter and more painfully than others. It turns out a paradoxical situation: mom is not around, you don’t need to wait for her approval and attention, but this habit has remained. In a situation with an authoritarian mother controlling an adult child, both need psychological help.

“Encountered difficulties? Everything is solved! Book a consultation with us."

Head physician Kharaburova TL

What is the danger of the situation?

Ironically, life brings together emotionally dependent people with people who are not interested in their inner experiences. This happens because they do not know how to distinguish between real love and imaginary. Their dependence is mistakenly considered a manifestation of strong love for a partner. The danger is that there is no equality in such relations. A strong personality will humiliate and suppress a weak one. The addict will receive pain and suffering instead of support.

The addict's internal monologue looks something like this: “I do everything for him (her), do everything he (she) says, try my best to please, but in response I get only irritation and anger. Why?"

The fact is that spiritually immature and insecure addicts are usually not loved, but used. And when they see their complaisantly obsessive attitude, they begin to get angry, look for a flaw, a reason for conflict, in order to get rid of guilt. As a result, relationships become more painful and filled with disappointments every day.

But love is happiness, the celebration of the soul, the joy of life. Healthy relationships involve mutual respect, trust, acceptance of each other with all the advantages and disadvantages. No one puts pressure on anyone and does not control every step, respecting the personality of a loved one.

What to do?

Every person has the right not only to give love, but also to receive it with gratitude, without guilt or shame, and to demand mutual respect and care. As soon as an emotionally dependent person understands his condition, it is necessary to take measures to get rid of the way of thinking that interferes with a full life:

accept yourself as you are;
feel inner freedom from other people's opinions;
develop self-confidence;
learn to defend your position;
to form one's own opinion on situations;
start making your own decisions;
take responsibility for your life.

Don't be afraid to lose people who bring suffering and pain. There is no shame in saying a firm “no” to a partner who does not appreciate and does not understand efforts. Dealing with emotional addiction is difficult, but real. In Nizhny Novgorod, there is a medical center "Family Practice", whose employees have successful experience in helping people suffering from emotional dependence.

At first, it is extremely important for such people to have the support of a psychologist, because it is difficult for them to cope with emotions on their own.

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