How to deal with a husband who drinks too much

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  • SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.

    Also visit the online treatment locator.

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Last Updated: 08/30/2022

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Husband drinks? How do you know if he's a drunkard or an alcoholic?

Most women believe that alcoholics are unpleasant-looking people who can be found on the street. “Mine is not an alcoholic, he just drinks,” - with such a judgment a woman can live for years.

Whole family suffers:

  • quarrels, fights against the background of drunkenness,
  • corporal punishment of children,
  • the financial well-being of the family, loans, debts are violated.
  • nine0009 The whole family is in constant tension from the expectation of the next binge, which sooner or later will be for sure.

It is known that the most important need, along with food, sleep and rest, is the need for security. When there is a person in the family who abuses alcohol, there is no security. There is no stability, because the fragile world of the family can collapse at any moment. And it depends on just one person, on his desire to “rest”, “relax”, “celebrate an event” or he just has a “bad mood”. nine0003

Alcoholism is a disease that has precise symptoms. It needs timely treatment, which begins with the diagnosis, and here there are some difficulties.

I tried to clearly show you how you can distinguish between alcoholism and drunkenness. However, the circumstances of life can be different, which makes it difficult to determine whether it is alcoholism or drunkenness. It is better to turn to specialists who will help you.

Household drunkenness



alcohol is an important part of his life

regularly consumes alcohol in large doses

does not acknowledge the existence of a problem



Capable of controlling cravings for alcohol

If the situation is not convenient to drink will not.

"I'm driving", "I'm at work"

No situational control

Due to the special situation can not refuse alcohol.

(at work, with the boss,

behind the wheel). The situation is not a deterrent.

Quantity controlled

He knows the boundary beyond which he will feel bad and does not cross it.

Controls the amount drunk, stops himself.

No quantitative control

Drinks excessively. nine0003

There is a gag reflex.

Alcohol is poison. Any organism seeks to get rid of the poison through the gag reflex.

I drank too much - vomiting either during a feast or after it.

Loss of the gag reflex.

The gag reflex is absent, the poison is not rejected.

The gag reflex appears only the next day, in the morning. nine0003

No hangover .

Hangover syndrome

Gets drunk, drinks the next day and gets better

No memory violation.

Memory violation

Chronic poisoning of the brain leads to memory impairment. nine0003

Loses things the next day. You may not admit that you forgot something. Accuses loved ones (allegedly they hid).

Drinks in company or on occasion.

Does not need drinking companions or a good reason to drink.

Enjoys his favorite drinks.

nine0024 Drinks everything.

Drinks irregularly, one day at a time.

Drinks for several days in a row - binges.

Sees the meaning of life, lives it.

Feels depressed,

loss of the meaning of life.


There is no alcoholic delirium ("white tremens").

Alcoholic delirium -

after binges hears or sees something that is not really there.


Psychologist, psychotherapist

Psychotherapist, narcologist

Women, stop tolerating alcoholics!

The man has already made a decision about his life path, now it's time for the woman to understand what to do for her. Alcoholism can drag on for years, for years women endure binges, while persuading themselves "after all, he is not an alcoholic, he works," and family affairs do not get better.

There are cases when alcoholism is gaining momentum, but this is clearly not visible. The husband leaves home for a group of friends, he is not at home for several days. The wife does not see him drunk, does not see him in withdrawal, does not see his memory impairment. Quietly, without disturbing the peace of his wife, drunkenness goes on as usual. Increasingly, he chooses to go out with friends rather than stay at home, because he has a legal day off, and he can spend it as he sees fit. And if you stay at home, then you can’t tear yourself away from the computer game. nine0003

There is no point in a relationship, it is not clear why marital ties are needed? They already live as neighbors. Everything suits him: his wife is a beauty, she works, she does not cheat on him, she is fed, the house is clean, the clothes are washed, ironed.

Each woman must decide for herself how long she will live with this. How many years of her life is she willing to put into it?

There are happy families where the husband became a teetotaler, and they lived happily ever after. There are those in which the husband, after several years of sobriety, returned to alcohol. There are families where the fight against alcoholism has not yielded any results. No one can give you any guarantees, but in this case it is better to do than to do nothing. nine0003

Efforts should be made to rectify the situation.

8 steps to solve the problem of alcoholism

Find the strength, will and courage in yourself. Let your husband know openly that you don't like what's going on. Say that it cannot continue like this, otherwise it will lead to serious consequences. Describe in vivid detail the undesirable consequences. Describe even more picturesquely a healthy life, without alcohol. Don't skimp on colors to describe the possibilities of a healthy life. You lived with him for several years, perhaps you know his dreams. Think about everything you say. Your speech should be similar to an election campaign. nine0003

  1. Offer expert advice. Narcologist, psychotherapist.

For example, contact the Novokuznetsk Narcological Dispensary - Builders Avenue, 61, tel.: 74 - 92 - 62. Or to the office of a medical psychologist in the antenatal clinic No. 1, and I will answer questions, help in finding specialists.

  1. Never call or book someone for a consultation. An adult man should do adult things. Don't do for him what he can do for himself. Calling is the first, real step to solving the problem. Calling is an act. Men should do things, not promise you to go to the consultation that you signed him up for. nine0010
  2. Limit in time, say that he must solve it within three days. When there are no time limits, there are no actions.
  3. Limit intimate relationships. Women, love, respect yourself - do not have intimate relationships with drunken men. Speak openly that you cannot temporarily perform "marital duty." Continue to take care of your husband, cook, wash, clean. He will see that you are still with him, you did not leave him, you just stepped aside for a while. nine0010
  4. Remember that after a man has embarked on the path of sobriety, serious changes must occur in his life. Sometimes you need to undergo a course of psychological or psychotherapeutic assistance. During the time he is sober, his life must change so that he does not want to go back. It depends on him, and on you, and on specialists.

Sincerely, wishes of health and well-being,

Nadezhda Ivanovna Talnikova - medical psychologist and team of antenatal clinic No. 1 NGKB No. 29

What should a wife do if her husband drinks every day? Psychologist's advice - Center for Healthy Youth

What should I do if my husband constantly drinks?

The answer to this question, unfortunately, is sought quite often. Every third family, according to statistics, is faced with domestic alcoholism. How to wean a husband to drink alcohol? Are there effective methods and ways to combat this addiction?

Even if the husband drinks heavily, there is always a way out, do not despair, but start acting, only in this way can you save a loved one from alcohol addiction and personal degradation. nine0003

Why does my husband drink every day?

In our country, more than 2,800,000 people know firsthand what alcoholism is. In most cases, these are adult men. Why do men start drinking? Most often, there are certain psychological problems that a person sees as unsolvable, from which he wants to get away and relax with the help of alcohol. Therefore, if you think that a man drinks for no reason, this is not true, there are always reasons for addiction, but few people can tell about them. nine0003

As the disease progresses, alcoholics completely forget about friends, work, family, and spouse. At the forefront of his thoughts about alcohol and a new glass. A person changes a lot and can turn from a decent family man, a loving husband and a caring father into an aggressive and irritable alcoholic who can raise a hand against a loved one for a bottle or just in anger.

How can I overcome my husband's alcoholism?

The question arises: "How to get rid of an alcoholic husband forever?" Of course, you can leave the family, but who will lend a hand to a drunk person? Left alone with the problem, the addict will get in the way of degradation and self-destruction, the loss of a spouse often becomes a catalyst for the development of drunken alcoholism. You can help! nine0003

How to influence the husband of an alcoholic? The answer to this question is known to the specialists of the Center for Healthy Youth. We have what matters: experience, qualified employees and psychologists, as well as other specialists whose goal is to help every addict recover and stop drinking. There is a way out of any situation. So, what to do if the husband drinks? The answer is simple: heal.

Do you want to know the cost of services?

8 (800) 333-20-07 - call our specialist

CZM team - who will help if the husband starts drinking? nine0339

The staff of the Healthy Youth Center are psychologists, narcologists, psychotherapists, psychiatrists, chemical addiction consultants and other specialists who have a huge amount of knowledge in the field of narcology and psychiatry, high qualifications and undoubted professionalism. They know exactly how to get a husband to stop drinking in the shortest possible time without harming his mental or physical health. If the husband is drunk, what to do?

First of all, do not panic or self-medicate. Treatment of alcoholism is a complex process, it cannot be carried out at home. Curing an alcoholic without his will is ineffective, and without his consent is illegal. Therefore, do not hesitate to contact the drug treatment center. It is completely anonymous, only you and the attending physician will know about the problem, no third parties or drug records. We guarantee a comprehensive approach to solving the problem and long-term remission. nine0003

Why does the man drink in the family?

A person is most often pushed to regular abuse by stress, quarrels with his wife, various internal psycho-emotional conflicts, low income or social status, dissatisfaction with his own achievements, low self-esteem, complexes that he can carefully hide. To get away from problems, have fun, relieve stress, a person turns to the bottle and begins to relieve stress with it more and more often.

Reasons for alcoholism:

  • drinking environment, relatives;
  • drinking friends;
  • loneliness;
  • depression;
  • dissatisfaction with life, with oneself;
  • desire to relieve stress;
  • internal problems and conflicts.

If a husband drinks every day after work, he may consider alcohol as a "reward" for a hard day, a kind of antidepressant. This is how addiction develops. Soon, a person no longer imagines himself in the company of friends without a glass of beer or something stronger. Alcohol imperceptibly becomes a part of life. nine0003

How can I wean my husband off alcohol? You should not make quarrels and scandals, from this the addict will only close in on himself and stop trusting you. On the contrary, arrange a person for yourself in a confidential conversation, say that together you will overcome all difficulties and obstacles, you just need to start acting in this direction. What should the wife of an alcoholic do? Call the CZM drug treatment center and get a free consultation and advice from a psychologist.

Leave an alcoholic husband or stay? nine0339

If you no longer have the strength to suffer with your drinking spouse, there are several ways out of the situation: leave and let him sleep completely or lend a helping hand. You should not tolerate aggression and wait until he quits himself, in 99% of cases this does not happen. You will not be able to "re-educate" him or force him to stop drinking with ultimatums, discard these illusions. You need to act wisely, you need to seek help from professionals.

Relationships are complex interactions between two people. Before making an important conscious decision, weigh the pros and cons. Answer your questions:

  • do you still have feelings for this person?
  • do you want him to stop drinking once and for all?
  • do you believe him?

If you can't live with a person, even if he stops drinking and doesn't trust him anymore, no one has the right to judge you, perhaps leaving the family in this case is the only right way out for you.

According to statistics, oddly enough, many wives live with alcoholics to the last, endure aggression, humiliation, scandals and even beatings. This is most often not love, but codependent unhealthy relationships, only psychologists of the Healthy Youth Center can help in solving the problem. They will teach you to live your life, and not to devote yourself to another person who chose his own path. nine0003

My husband drinks - does he need help?

If you really love your spouse, it is quite possible to save your family! Do not despair, we can help in this difficult situation. How to deal with alcoholism husband? Don't act alone, you are not alone, give us a call. The treatment of alcohol addiction, like any other serious illness, is the task of the professionals of the narcological center. Professionals work here who can provide not only the necessary medical assistance, alleviating the condition of the addict, but also psychological support for both the alcoholic and his relatives. nine0003

Contact our alcoholism treatment center by phone: 8 (800) 333-20-07. We know what to do if the husband is a heavy drinker and drinks alcohol on a regular basis.

How to make a man stop drinking?

How to wean or persuade a husband to stop drinking? If a spouse drinks, only the right strategy for a woman's behavior can help him. Millions of wives have saved the lives of their husbands in our country, so can you!

If the husband drinks every weekend - this is alcoholism, what should the wife do in this situation? How can I help my alcoholic husband stop drinking? It is impossible to force a person to refuse his "antidepressant". If he does not realize the perniciousness of the habit and the harm of alcohol, he will see you as an enemy after quarrels and attempts to exclude alcohol from his life. Neither quarrels, nor screams and scandals will help in the treatment of alcohol addiction. If the husband loves you, he still will not be able to give up addiction, as it penetrates into all aspects of life, including psychological. An irresistible craving for alcohol will cause a person to return to drinking. nine0003

What should I do to make my husband stop drinking? The only sure way is to see a doctor. A narcologist can provide assistance not only in the hospital of a drug treatment clinic, but also at home, if it is necessary to alleviate the condition of an alcoholic or to withdraw from a binge.

Anonymously 24 hours a day Departure in 2 minutes Relief in an hour

Full range of narcology services:

  • Recovery from binge drinking
  • Encoding
  • Psychiatry
  • Consultation of a narcologist

Call a doctor

8 (800) 333-20-07+7 (499) 110-21-07

What not to do

  • apply to a drug dispensary for compulsory treatment;
  • treat a person without his knowledge or consent;
  • self-medicate.

Why should you not contact the dispensary? First of all, because in state institutions the addict is registered, there is no talk of anonymous treatment, a person will have to visit a doctor regularly and after rehabilitation for several years. At the same time, he will not be able to drive a car, and the employer is unlikely to hire a former alcoholic for a good responsible job. nine0003

Compulsory treatment is also not an option, since the patient's desire to recover is 80% of success. If the addict does not realize the need for anti-alcohol therapy, he will perceive the treatment as a temporary inconvenience and will break at the first opportunity. Compulsory alcoholics are treated only by court order, but there is another much more effective and legal solution to the problem.

How can I convince my husband to stop drinking? An intervention procedure will help convince a drinking man to go for treatment voluntarily. Specialists can come to your home and not only get the addict out of binge, normalizing his health, but also convince him of the need to fight the disease in a hospital setting. You can call a motivational team at home by phone: 8 (800) 333-20-07. nine0003

In addition, do not buy drugs for the treatment of alcoholism at a pharmacy without a doctor's prescription. Believe that there is no "magic pill" that could once and for all save the patient from chronic alcoholism. Remember that pouring powders and dripping drops into food in secret from the addict is against the law, he can sue you. In addition, people rarely read the entire list of contraindications, and some do not even know about their presence. Alcoholics often have health complications, which are a contraindication to the use of a particular drug. Naturally, drugs are used in narcology to help addicts, but they are selected strictly individually, depending on the characteristics of the organism and the medical history. nine0003

What should I do if my husband starts drinking? Psychologist's advice

First of all, turn to professionals. Call our addiction center. We not only advise, but also carry out a comprehensive treatment of alcohol addiction from the moment of motivation and detoxification to complete recovery after passing the rehabilitation course. What if a man drinks every day? You should start keeping a diary and recording your actions when the process is started, you should not stop there, you need to move towards your goal - getting rid of the addiction of a loved one. nine0003

If your husband asks for money for drinks, don't give them, you will only make him worse. Prevent drinking buddies from entering the home and indulge addictions. Do not show pity, such behavior is a signal to continue drinking.

Quite often the wife joins the feasts and gatherings of the husband. In this case, alcoholism can also affect her. This happens when there is a codependent relationship.

5 tips from a psychologist - how to help a husband with alcoholism

  1. Do not threaten divorce. If the first few times this makes a person put down his glass, then in the future he will simply stop believing you, seeing that you are not leaving. If you have made the decision to rid your husband of alcoholism, stay firm in your intentions. Do not tell your spouse about the divorce if you do not have such intentions.
  2. There is no need to humiliate, insult or offend the addict. If you offend, ridicule and shame him in front of acquaintances and friends, you will only cause aggression towards yourself, and not a feeling of guilt. Another stress will only become the reason for a new booze. nine0010
  3. Don't solve problems for him. Your husband is an independent adult and should be responsible for his own actions. You should not give away the last money, paying off his debt, do not make excuses to his superiors or relatives.
  4. Don't focus on the problem. You should disengage from it and do other important things: take time for yourself, children, work and hobbies. You will not be able to constantly keep everything under control and snatch the bottle from the hands of the missus every time. If you dwell on your husband's alcoholism, this will lead to the development of a co-dependent relationship. nine0010
  5. Do not refuse the help of doctors. Only a narcologist can help you solve the problem. Specialists of the Center for Healthy Youth save lives and families every day, they will help you, even if a person has been in a problem for more than one year.

My husband drinks beer every day, what should I do?

Many addicts do not consider beer an alcoholic drink. However, the fact that beer has 4-5% strength, and 40% alcohol in vodka does not mean that it is safe for health and that it does not cause addiction. In fact, it does not matter at all what a person drinks. If he drinks alcohol 2-3 times a week, or on weekends, the addiction is already in place. nine0003

If the husband drinks every weekend, it is possible that the first stage of alcohol dependence is taking place. It can last for years, but just one catalyst and addiction will turn into chronic, accompanied by hard drinking, withdrawal symptoms and psychosis. How to prevent this?

People with beer alcoholism rarely seek help on their own, they think they can quit tomorrow, alcoholics drink only vodka and take the last carpet out of the house. However, alcoholism is a disease. If a vodka alcoholic drinks glasses and piles, then a beer drinker drinks glasses and liters. This leads to disruption of the heart and blood vessels, heart attacks and strokes, the liver and kidneys suffer no less. If a person does not have fear for his health, he does not see a problem, it is worth seeking advice from the doctor of our center. nine0003

  • Can't persuade
    to treat


  • We will help you with motivation for treatment. As a rule, it is difficult for close people to persuade or force an addict to be treated. World experts have developed EFFECTIVE motivation schemes, using which you can lead the addict to the decision to seek help.
    8 (800) 333-20-07

How to force a husband not to drink alcohol?

What should I do if my husband drinks every weekend or occasionally drinks himself unconscious? You need to act, do not expect him to quit drinking on his own or go to the clinic. If we don't act, the situation will only get worse. It is in your power to make alcohol disappear from your home forever.

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