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How does adversity change a person


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Open access peer-reviewed chapter

Written By

Ntsika Majiba and Nolonwabo Happiness Majiba

Submitted: October 30th, 2019 Reviewed: January 21st, 2020 Published: April 29th, 2020

DOI: 10. 5772/intechopen.91302

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Abstract

The role in which adversity plays in shaping ones character, resilience and endurance is one that society shuns and often neglects. It has been a norm with the increase of motivational talks, inspirational quotes of digital media and life coaching of the new age to suppress the feeling in pursuit of joy and happiness. This has seen an increase in depression and suicides across the globe. The embracing of adverse situations continues to be an interpretation of weakness and an embrace of negativity. This chapter will explore how the avoidance of adversity prevents humanity the pleasures of gaining rich roots of character and the gaining of virtues that encompass courage, grace and resilience. The chapter will conclude by emphasising that the absence of adversity or the suppression of it thereof minimises spiritual, emotional and psychological growth.

Keywords

  • adversity
  • courage
  • resilience
  • character
  • grace

1. Introduction

Adversity can be defined as an unfavourable fortune, incident or fate; a condition marked by misfortune, calamity or distress. It is inevitable that in our lifetime, we will undergo adverse situations and circumstances, and learning to embrace these situations with grace and dignity can be beneficial for our personal journeys. Rich roots of character can be developed when learning to embrace adverse situations life throws, when one learns to ask which lessons can be derived from their misfortunes and every adversity has a distinct and unique lesson that can only be learned when the adversity is embraced. It is also important to be patient with oneself as they learn to familiarise themselves with the adverse situation, while learning to embrace the situation. The first step is to always accept what the status quo is, refrain from denying the situation for what it is and denial is the biggest delayer in healing. Once one’s mind, heart and body have fully accepted the adverse situation, healing comes and a new and fresh perspective is developed. New and fresh perspective brings wisdom, each time you face another challenging time, you can draw from the pool of wisdom gained from previous adverse situations. Author and blogger, Bridges [1] suggests four positive attributes on embracing adversity.

  1. One develops a deeper understanding about themselves and how the world works.

  2. One hones their creativity; Bridges suggests when faced with adverse situations, one is aware that sitting and crying about it will not bring much solutions, the seeking of a remedy to the situations is how one becomes creative, he suggests that the absence of adversity would not challenge one’s creative flair.

  3. One is able to see people’s true colours-real friend’s surface. Bridges suggests that although adverse situations can be painful and daunting, they can be viewed and deemed as blessings in disguise, no matter how independent one is, you’ll need people and its often in the most adverse of times will one’s true friends be revealed.

  4. One finds more courage to stand-alone. Bridges suggests that, although adverse times will need you to surround yourself with friends and loved ones, the decision to get up and dust yourself up is your decision, and the decision to stand firmly will only come from you. In this instance, one truly learns the art of a strong will and self-control; both these traits build character.

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2. Adversity virtues

Although the chapter deals with embracing adverse situations, drawing strength from them and finding positive traits and values is to build character. Let us not run away from the reality that adverse situations are painful, stressful and give anxiety; it would be bogus to ignore the fact that adverse situations can often be uncomfortable. This may lead one into depression and despair, finding courage in such situations does come across as farfetched and impossible, but it is very possible to turn lemons into lemonade. Turning lemons into lemonade, adverse situations into positive lessons takes courage. Courage is not easy, courage takes emotional strength and a deep sense of emotional intelligence, and it is a decision, a deliberate choice that takes immense character. When we choose courage, we understand that it either may be very beneficial or may backfire. If for example one was involved in a motorcycle accident, which may have been fatal, it takes immense courage to go back onto a motor cycle again, and it is crucial to know that the courage taken may be either successful or unsuccessful. However, if one persists in seeking the successful output, success is what you will get in the end; it takes time.

Another example is a break up. Building a relationship after a traumatic breakup may seem like trauma and can be very daunting, taking bold courageous steps at finding love again can be either successful or unsuccessful, and if the latter is the outcome, time and persistent courage will bring successful results. In the introduction, I stated that the surrounding of people who you love and trust makes the adverse situation bearable as they aid you with comfort and advice. Those very people are instrumental in birthing out the courageous virtue within us when feeling weak and in doubt, their encouragement and never wavering support is vital in awakening the courage that is needed to overcome adverse situations. Courage brings about confidence and resilience, depriving ourselves of these attributes is an injustice to our healing and closure. It takes courage to have courage itself, the ability to make a stern decision to be courageous when everything screams the opposite, is courage in its very nature.

Although a strong support of people is important in facing adverse situations, it does take you to make that decision. One can have all the advice and support in the world, but if it is not your decision, you will never find courage. The Greek philosopher Aristotle believes courage to be the most important human virtue. “Courage is the first of human virtues because it makes all others possible.” When we are courageous, we take the first bold step at facing our unfavourable situations and circumstances, and without courage, there can be no healing or overcoming adverse situations; it cannot be skipped or ran away from. Having courage enables us to face fear head on and helps us to face the unknown until it is known. Fear itself can be the most crippling emotion that prevents us from moving forward and finding healing. According to Australian academic press, courage enables us to develop a psychological muscle. This muscle assists us when in need of resilience and strength to overcome or avoid adversity. The more we make use of this muscle, the more empowered we become to confront problems head on and be courageous in challenging times that fill us with immense pain and despair. Courage is not a virtue that we are born with, it is not instant and automatic, it is a virtue one learns, and with consistency and practice, it becomes stronger. There is no individual who has automated courage in their bloodline or DNA; all of us are on a human journey and experience, and learn to be courageous through adverse and unfortunate circumstances. Courage is a demanding virtue because it requires persistence, it requires one to want it and if one does not persist stubbornly at attaining it, it simply will not come.

Australian academic press [2] emphasises that courage is not an instinctive response, like breathing or swallowing. If that was how courage worked, our reactions would be consistent and our feelings predictable. This would mean our responses and reactions would be meaningless. Courage is reactive and differs with each unique situation. There cannot be courage without fear, and for courage to show up, fear must be present. Courage exists because fear exists. Courage cannot be forced, courage is a personal decision that must be taken wilfully, and without it, adverse situations cannot be overcome.

Overcoming adverse situations requires a high level of grace from a higher power beyond yourself and a certain level from within yourself. Prayer and meditation may channel adverse circumstances into a positive light and may be able to shed a deep and meaningful perspective of your situation. Many have attested to the power of prayer, and the role a spiritual connection has played in healing and finding closure in an adverse situation. Others have attested that meditation has assisted them in channelling their emotions, and consolidating what it is they feel. Grace that comes from above is a grace that cannot be attained from any human, it is a divine and sustaining grace that gives you strength in helpless and adverse times, and through this level of grace, one is able to attain a level of grace within themselves to go on and when everything around them is falling apart. A willing heart, a heart that has the courage and tenacity to overcome, can only attain grace.

One has got to reach out for it, it does not simply come. When one reaches out to a higher power, the higher power is able to extend its grace upon them. Although the first step is courage, the absence of grace can make the experience bitter and very painful. A support system both in the physical sense and in a spiritual sense is very important. Granted, not all of us believe in a higher power, but the reality is we did not create ourselves, there has to be a force higher and greater than ourselves and often we can find healing and deep comfort in adverse situations. In our pursuit of grace from above to handle adverse situations, we gain clarity and understanding, adversity has a way of stripping away level headed thinking and often leaves one bitter and negative in how they think or approach the situation at hand. Grace leaves one better not bitter, and when you feel rejuvenated, one is able to make level headed decisions that lead to a positive outcome, it gives you a better understanding of the situation at hand, and it gives one peace. Ultimately, ones greatest strength, deep courage, grace and resilience will come effectively when one find purpose in the adversity, often purpose stems from a power that is higher and greater than oneself.

Death, a break up, a job loss or even a fatal car accident are some adverse examples, these and many others are able to birth resilience characteristics within. The American psychological association suggests 10 ways in which adverse situations build resilience.

  1. Adverse situations help in making good connections. The association suggests that a healthy relationship with friends, family and colleagues can build a resilience character within one. It also suggests that joining faith-based organisations can assist in strengthening character and resilience.

  2. Avoid seeing your crisis as insurmountable problems. The association suggests that one cannot avoid adverse situations, but one has to learn to see beyond them and draw strength from these situations, this they suggest builds resilience.

  3. Accept that change is part of living. This the association suggests as the first step at dealing with adverse situations to find healing and assist in gaining resilience.

  4. Move toward your goals. Building a resilient character will require you to make necessary steps in doing so. Finding a hobby or something healthy to occupy your mind during an adverse situation is what will bring about a positive mind-set, ultimately birthing resilience.

  5. Take decisive actions. Do not detach yourself from the situations, feel it and go through it. Take decisive actions that work toward healing.

  6. Look for opportunities for self-discovery. Many people who have gone through trying times and experienced the most adverse situations have a better knowledge of self and are living fulfilled lives. Many of them have a heightened spiritual insight and are emotionally and mentally strong as they have chosen to be proactive in finding resilience.

  7. Nurture a positive view of self. Developing confidence in your ability to solve problems and trusting your instincts helps build resilience.

  8. Maintain a hopeful outlook. Try visualising what you want the end goal to be and not what you are currently going through. Adverse situations often cloud you into believing that it is over, but when you focus on what you want to feel and not what you are currently feeling, you’ll find peace and adapt a resilient nature.

  9. Take care of yourself. There is a phase where one is allowed to be selfish. Do what makes you happy, exercise and keep your mind occupied with positive activities and engagements, and this will keep you level headed and resilient.

  10. Keep things in perspective. It is very easy during adverse situations to blow things out of proportion. Keep things into perspective and always keep a level-headed demeanour. Writing things down helps track your emotions and keeps things in perspective for a resilient and better you.

The aim is to thrive and not to break at adversity. Resilience is far less than being strong and more about how one thinks says Razzetti [3] and further suggests that building resilience requires more than grit. William Ward is quoted in saying; “Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records” (Ward). This is proven beyond reasonable doubt to be true. How many stories do we know of iconic human beings who went through adverse situations and came out victorious and living hero’s today? Nelson Mandela is an icon that instantly comes to mind, and he was detained and imprisoned for over two decades, separated from his family and his iconic wife, Winnie Madikizela-Mandela and their children. He was denied permission to bury his beloved mother and first born son, he was tormented mentally and emotionally and yet he was able to reconcile all races and the entire country, although he receives backlash for this even after his death, he is still revered and lauded throughout the world. Not many people would endure the immense adversity and pain Nelson Mandela endured but, his resilient spirit, his graceful spirit and courage led him to forgive. Psychiatrist Wolin [4] defines resiliency as the capacity to rise above adversity. We have to be able to tell ourselves when things go wrong that the situation cannot take over our lives, this too shall pass.

Psychologist Emmy Werner [5] spent over 40 years studying children from disadvantaged, unstable and chaotic families. Despite their adverse circumstances, 30% of the children grew up to become successful students and adults, astonishingly many surpassed peers from more privileged backgrounds. Resilience is a choice. Much as the other previously mentioned traits such as courage and grace, resilience too require one to make a purposeful and intentional decision to adapt. The study by Werner had the following outputs; most of the children succeeded because of self-control, they made a decision that they would not allow their backgrounds and environment to define them. Studies have shown that spiritual support, cultural rituals prepare individuals for some of the most adverse conditions and situations. Resilience requires discipline, like courage; it is not a trait you are born with, it is one that you have to work on daily. This does not mean that one will never have a breaking point, even the most resilient of people break at some point. Razzetti emphasises that resilience is critical to recover from everyday adverse events, not just from traumatic ones. Positively restructuring our relationship with reality moves us through grief. Denial and acceptance are necessary steps in final clasping resilience by the foot. Resilience is far less than the actual adverse event but rather how you adapt to it. Zoli [6] states that resilience is a dynamic combination of optimism, creativity and confidence, and we can turn adverse situations into something meaningful by focusing on learning, not on the experience itself. Kobasa [7] detailed three critical components required in resilience; challenge, commitment and self-control.

  1. Challenge. Resilient people turn a difficult situation into a challenge, instead of fighting reality and being in denial about it. They focus more on finding meaning and lessons.

  2. Commitment. The drive and zeal of having to fight for something is what fuels resilient people. Having a mission greater than your adverse situation gives you motivation.

  3. Self-control. It is ludicrous to believe one can control every single event under the sun, but one can control their emotions and decisions. Resilient individuals have mastered this trait and thus, find meaning and purpose even during the most adverse of times.

Razzetti suggests five ways to build a mind-set of an individual undergoing an adverse period.

  1. Reframe your thoughts. He suggests that controlling situations in your life are impossible but controlling your emotions and responses is something you have control of. He suggests cognitive restructuring as a practical way to think about adverse situations. He states that calming oneself to identify the real situation and assess one’s emotions and thoughts. He also states that identifying evidence that supports how you feel and also those who contradict your feelings, helps you reframe your thoughts.

  2. Prepare for the worst. He suggests that you cannot prepare your heart and mind to deal with every possible situation, but one can prepare their mind to adapt when adverse situations arise. He states that one should not be afraid to expose themselves to rejections as it prepares you for trying times.

  3. Create alternative paths. Creativity as previously mentioned plays a major role when overcoming adversity. Learning to navigate yourself out of unfavourable situations, creativity also stretches your brain, instead of seeing adverse situations as hurdles; your mind turns them into positive challenges. Razzetti also suggests humour as an important role in finding positive solutions. Laughing reduces tensions.

  4. Leverage the power of relationships. Strong and solid relationships are once again encouraged during adverse times; no one no matter how in denial we are can succeed alone. Collaboration and association is vital in the healing process. Relationships according to Razzetti foster resilience, resilient people do the actual give-and take work necessary to get emotional gratification from others.

  5. Mind your spirit. Razzetti also agrees that religious and spiritual support brings us comfort during adversity. Medication too he suggests as a positive tool in challenging ones emotions. Religious and spiritual activities provide strength that comes from being part of a community. Razzetti is resolute that resilience is not a fixed trait-one can learn and develop through time. Bouncing back and returning to your feet depends solely on you. Learning to control your emotions and thoughts helps to train your mind to face everyday hardships. Only your mind can heal what your mind created.

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3. Suppression of adverse situations, deprives healing

Suppressing emotions and experiences often seems like the most comfortable thing to do at times, nobody enjoys feeling pain, it does not matter how strong you are as an individual. However, when dealing with adverse situations, it is rather wise to go through the experience and face it head on. Some of our most valuable lessons are often gained at the most adverse of times and running away from the situation will only deprive you of your own healing and the gaining of rich lessons that will build your character.

As previously mentioned that adverse situations are often healed by a spiritual experience but spirituality does not only bring healing, it also brings lessons. We learn lessons about our maker, a higher power other than ourselves and ourselves. Deffner [8] points out five sources of spiritual adversities, when engaging with our spirituality, we will often look at our adverse situations spiritually and not physically. Deffner points out the following:

  1. The Devil. If there is a higher power that brings light, surely there must be a force that brings darkness and whatever religion one may ascribe to, the devil or a dark force is often referred a lot in bringing evil and adversity. Spirituality emphasises that when we seek light or begin to follow a higher power, evil principalities often come into play and begin to be in opposition of your spiritual journey and awakening.

  2. Other people. Spirituality no matter which faith, speaks about how people can persecute us, bring us pain and harm. Spirituality also tell us how to deal with such instances and often compels us to forgive those who inflict us with pain, so that we may free ourselves from offence and deep rooted pain. Forgiveness is a very difficult thing to do, often we feel that unforgiveness is our power, if we forgive we feel weak and feel that the individual(s) who offended us will think we are on good terms with them or like what they did to us if we forgive. However, spirituality makes us know that forgiveness is liberating and the more we hold onto offence and a grudge, our sins will not be forgiven too.

  3. Circumstances. Spirituality and religion is very clear that circumstances and life will happen, but offers solutions and help for our adverse situations. The joy that spirituality gives is the assurance that there is a higher power that will render aid in our most afflicting times and often advises that we pray for one another in adverse times. When we suppress our adversity, we lack lessons such as these that spirituality offers.

  4. God/a higher power. Deffner argues that our power to deal with adversity comes from position and not a location. The closer we are to God, the better suited we will be to handle adversity in our life, when we are not close to our maker, we may find ourselves working against him. She states that, when God is our adversary, we find ourselves in the worst position to be in. When we are not close to God or our maker, he pours out his judgement. Another argument Deffner makes is that we meet adversity from God or our maker when he tries to work in an area of our life that makes us uncomfortable.

  5. Soft Heart vs. Hard Heart. Deffner argues that spirituality offers us a solution to deal with individuals who inflict us with pain, contributing to our adversity. Often the solution is a less hardened heart, a heart that loves and a heart that is meek. Spirituality compels us to love those who hurt us, to pray for them and reach out to them when they go through situations they put us through too.

“Success is not our greatest achievement, but, rather our greatest achievement is facing a difficult life challenge with dignity and integrity”-Viktor Frankl. Adversity is inevitable in the human experience and we will experience tough times but it is how we deal with these tough times that matter. Some may choose to be negative and have a hardened heart because of adverse situations; some may walk out of the situation positively, having an enhanced personal growth. Ultimately, it is a choice, a choice only we can make for ourselves. Adversity can make us stronger emotionally if we choose to look at the experience positively; if one shuns the lessons brought by adverse situations, one may be depriving themselves of an experience of a lifetime that will strengthen their emotional endurance. They say what does not kill us makes us stronger, and psychologists have discovered a term called “posttraumatic growth” (PTG) which is a scientific construct that aims to capture positive transformations in beliefs and behaviour. PTG takes on five forms; improved relations with others, identification of new possibilities for one’s life, increased personal strength, spiritual change and enhanced appreciation of life. These qualities are derived after an adverse period in one’s life and if feelings are suppressed, one deprives themselves of the positive attributes gained through embracing the hardship and finding meaning. These attributes build character and encompass growth that produces diligence, generosity, love, purpose and humility. We ought to not deprive ourselves of the full healing that will bring us rich emotional strength and insight after we have experienced an adverse period.

Psychologically the mind can benefit too if suppression of adverse circumstances are not enforced. Stephen Joseph [9] from University of Nottingham states that positive gain can come from suffering and shares that when individuals choose to look at the positive perspective of their adverse situation, and he states that adverse situations have 10 components and stages of growth following an adverse or tragic event. These stages are: assumptive world, trigger event, posttraumatic processing, confirmation of existing assumptions/disconfirmation of existing assumptions, accommodation/assimilation, positive/negative and new assumptive world. These stages are all experienced only when the adverse situation is not avoided and suppressed, when and if avoided, one deprives themselves of healing. Adverse situations must be fully embraced and fully experienced to avoid an emotional relapse and regression of progress. Johnson [10], a cognitive behaviour therapist, states that psychological growth after an adverse situation occurs not through the suffering itself, but through the individual’s struggle and reconstruction of shattered assumptions. She alludes too many who may have experienced adversity, making dramatic life changes and positive shifts from adverse situations such as: a mother who may have lost a daughter in a drunk and driving accident, founds a mothers association against drunk and driving association. Another example is a rape survivor becoming a rape activist, both these are just examples of how individuals who went through very adverse and traumatic experiences made lemonade out of their lemons. The embracing of pain and adverse circumstances is not a negative trait to possess but rather a very power decision to make as it can benefit you in ways unimaginable.

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4. Conclusion

With depression being at its peak, more and more suicides are being committed, the statistics worsen by each year. It is because new age media and social media has preached the wrong narrative, that immersing yourself in pain is toxic and that it is a sign of weakness, this sees many misinformed individuals running from their adverse circumstances, seeking comfort in alcohol and drugs, just to name a few. The narrative has got to change, and authors must preach the importance of immersing ourselves in our pains and adversities. Through this chapter, it has been revealed that adversity births courage, courage that makes us stronger, more confident and positive and, it is only adverse situations that allow courage. Through adversity one is able to extend their hands to a higher power for grace and sustenance and through this act of surrender can find grace within themselves to carry their adversities. Adversity also allows us the very important character trait of resilience; through resilience, one is able to be bolder and more level headed, one’s character is strengthened and one is able to move on from very painful circumstances.

Adversity additionally gives us lessons of spirituality, when one goes to a power greater than themselves, they learn that some battles are not physical but rather spiritual. One gains insight on how to handle painful and unbearable circumstances, learn profound lessons of forgiveness and are able to carry burdens with grace. One also learns emotional strength, and one is able to endure circumstances with a level headed mind-set. When one suppresses adverse situations and merely runs away from them, they delay healing and deprive themselves of these rich and profound lessons that may have never be learned unless one went through adversity. One is also able to learn positive lessons that enhance their psychological makeup, lessons that add to the pools of their wisdom, that whenever one goes through situations, they can go draw from their pools. Maya Angelou [11] always says, “When you know better, you do better” and with adverse situations, we gain rich wisdom and are able to handle other more severe situations with a little more insight than the ones we may have previously experienced [12]. One cannot control life happening to them, but can control how they react to these unfavourable situations. Adversity is not a curse, adversity is life’s classroom, in which one learns, make mistakes and heal. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel but for that light to come one must make efforts to come out of the tunnel and that is why it is important to fully embrace adversity so as to not deprive ourselves of the lessons learned at the end.

References

  1. 1. Bridges E. 4 reasons to embrace adversity with a happy heart. 2015. Available from: https://www.dumblittleman.com/4-reasons-embrace-adversity-happy-heart
  2. 2. Lenson E. Australian Academic press blog. Courage in adversity. 2018. Available from: https://www.australianacademicprss.com/au/aap_blog/post/courage-in-adversity/
  3. 3. Razzetti G. Resilience: How to rescue yourself from adversity. 2019. Available from: https://liberationist.org/resilience-how-to-rescue-yourself-from-adversity/
  4. 4. Wolin S. The resilient self: How survivors of troubled families survive adversity; 2010
  5. 5. Werner EE. Overcoming the Odds: High-Risk Children from Birth to Adulthood. Ithaca, New York: Coronell University; 1992
  6. 6. Zoli A. Resilience: Why things bounce back; 2012. pp. 22-40
  7. 7. Kobasa S. Incorporating the three C’s of resilience into life: Chantel Breytanbach. 1979. Available from: https://thriveglobal.com/stories/how-to-incorporate-the-three-c-s-of-resilience-into-your-life/
  8. 8. Deffner J. The role of adversity in your spiritual growth. 2015. Available from: https://theapc.org/the-role-of-adversity-in -your-spiritual-growth/
  9. 9. Joseph S. Growth following adversity. Positive psychological perspectives on posttraumatic stress. 2009. Available from: htps://researchgate.net/publication/Groth_Following_Adversity_Positive_Psychological_Perspectives_on-_Posttraumatic_Stress
  10. 10. Johnson L. Beyond resilience: Growth after adversity. 2009. Available from: https://positivepsychologynews.com/news/laura-lc-johnson/
  11. 11. Angelou M. Personal Interview with Oprah Winfrey; 1998
  12. 12. The American Psychological Association. The road to resilience. 2018. Available from: https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience

Sections

Author information

  • 1. Introduction
  • 2.Adversity virtues
  • 3.Suppression of adverse situations, deprives healing
  • 4.Conclusion

References

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Written By

Ntsika Majiba and Nolonwabo Happiness Majiba

Submitted: October 30th, 2019 Reviewed: January 21st, 2020 Published: April 29th, 2020

DOWNLOAD FOR FREE

© 2020 The Author(s). Licensee IntechOpen. This chapter is distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 License, which permits unrestricted use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium, provided the original work is properly cited.

Essay on How Adversity can Change a Person for School Students

Adversity is the situation in the life of human beings that has the power of turning things from impossible to possible. We all would have heard of several real-life incidents that are the best examples for proving that adversity is the reason for changing the fate of the person. Whenever we hear about any person attaining greater heights in life despite adversity, it encourages us.

It is a good topic according to the examination point of view and for competitive exam aspirants. I have elaborated about the topic in form of a short and long essay and hope that this might be helpful to the students in getting an idea for writing an essay, assignment, or project on this topic.

10 Lines Essay on How Adversity can Change a Person (100-120 Words)

1) Facing adversity makes a person stronger.

2) Adversity brings a positive change in a person’s life.

3) It helps us to recognize our inner potential.

4) Adversity makes a person a real fighter.

5) Adversity is necessary to understand the importance of life.

6) Overcoming adversity boosts our confidence level.

7) During adversity, people only think to get out of the situation.

8) Adversity can change the mentality of a person.

9) The transformed person is now more courageous.

10) Adversity helps a person to know his capabilities well.

Short Essay - 250 Words

Introduction

Adversity is referred to as the bad or unfavorable condition in the life of human beings. This is a difficult phase in the life of human beings but helps in making them stronger. There are people who are born with adversity. They start living their life by making their adversity their strength. Adversity can be a part of anyone's life at any time and thus we should always be ready to accept this change.

Adversities make us realize our real capabilities

Life is full of good as well as bad experiences. It cannot happen that only good things take place in our life. Adversities are the situations that develop courage in us to become strong and face the situation bravely. It helps in bringing the best from us. When we get everything that we desire in our life we never know the pain of getting the same. In this way, we are never able to know about our real potential. The adverse situation is a challenging situation that makes us realize our inner potential and talents. Challenges are important for bringing a change.

Adversity results in making the best or worst

We would have heard many examples of people destroyed because of adverse situations in life. The occurrence of adverse situations in our lives is a normal thing. We need to fight this painful situation and get rid of the same. We can never win this situation if we lose hope or blame god and destiny for this. Many of us face adversity from birth itself but are continuously fighting with the situation to come out of that. We must remember every cloud has a silver lining. Therefore, accepting this challenge can help us to become the best rather than being hopeless and become the worst.

Conclusion

Adversity has been a major reason behind the success of many people in the world. They wouldn't have been able to realize their potentials without the presence of adversities in their life.

Long Essay on can Adversity Change a Person

Introduction

The entire world is full of several successful personalities. Among those people, most of them have shared the same history behind their success. Whenever we read about their story behind their success we get to know a sad phase of their life filled with adversity that helped them to achieve success. It is always said that “No Pain, No Gain”. Adversities are bad times in life that direct us for becoming successful in life.

What is Adversity

Adversity as the name itself defines it as an unfavorable condition for human beings. It is the occurrence of painful situations and struggles in our life but is really necessary to make us realize the fact of life. Every one of us dreams of a good life with every kind of pleasure. It cannot be possible because life is made up of happy as well as sad phases. Adversities can occur in anyone’s life but it depends upon us that how we overcome them. Disabled people who are born with mental or physical disabilities face adversity right from their birth. This adversity never resists them rather it acts as a driving force for them to become successful in their lives.

There are many disabled people to date who have considered the physical adversities as a challenge and did their best to bring the change. A recent example of Ira Singhal, the topper of the 2014 UPSC Civil Services Examination in India. She had been suffering from a disability called 'Scoliosis' but she never understood this as her weakness and cracked the civil services examination, which is the toughest exam in India. It was her self-confidence and she considered her disability not as adversity but as a chance.

What are the Different Types of Adversities?

There is no one in this world devoid of any difficulty in their life. There are different types of adversities that human beings may face during the entire journey of life.

  • Physical Adversities - This disability can be from birth or physical disability that is resulting due to any disease or accident.
  • Mental Adversities - There are some incidents that disturb the physiological state of mind causing mental illness or stress of mind. It may be temporary or permanent and is listed as mental adversity. It reduces the thinking capability of people.
  • Financial Adversity - This is the most common type of adversity that people face in their life. It is concerned with money problems. This even leads to stages of poverty and hunger.
  • Emotional Adversity - Our feeling and thinking affect our way of working. Extreme emotionality is not good and creates problems for us.
  • Spiritual Adversity - People who do not believe in God or anyone else have to face several difficulties when they feel low or are filled with negativity.
  • Social Adversity - Social Interaction makes us feel good. There are people who deprive themselves of society and live alone. They mostly feel lonely and become patients of depression.

Conquering with Adversities in Our Life

It is truly said that every person is self-responsible for their fate. Adversities are the situations in our life that give us a chance to do something in our life. Adversity never alarms us before coming into our life instead it can occur anytime. Some people facing adverse situations in their life keep on weeping on their situation while there are also people who take these adversities as an opportunity. It is only we human beings who can bring the desired change from adversities. The adversities of life help us in realizing our hidden talents and strength and we further work accordingly to become successful.

Most of us become panic of the adversities in our life and are ready to bear it for whole life thinking it as their fate. It is not true because we can change our fate through hard work and determination. Moreover, the adversities provide us encouragement in our life. This positivity helps us in fighting the adverse situation of our life. It also builds our inner strength of body and mind for facing any type of problems in our life.

Adversities are the Turning Points in Our Life

There are many known personalities in the world who would never have realized their capabilities if there were no adversity in their life. They are the jewels of our society because of their power to overcome the adversities of their lives. Mahatma Gandhi is a recognized name in the whole world. Gandhiji had everything and never knew that one day he would be a great leader of the world. The injustice with him in South Africa was adversity that he faced strongly and this made him shine one day as a great Indian leader and freedom fighter. The adversities are situations that can be a turning point in our lives by our effort and challenging attitude for winning over the situation.

The trauma of pandemic Covid-19 has been great adversity for the whole world from 2020 till date. This situation made people realize the negligence of human beings towards the environment. It gave a lesson to mankind and made gave rise to several new possibilities. Life seems very easy until we face any adversity in our life. It is the real opportunity that has the power to make us successful in our life.

How Adversity can Change a Person?

Adversity is capable of transforming the character of a person. It enriches people with greater courage and self-confidence to face hardships in their life. It enhances the person’s ability of understanding life. As metals need to pass through several purification methods to shine in the same way adversities are needed to refine people’s abilities that make them shine with success. The early life of the great scientist and former President of India Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam was full of miseries. Despite facing financial adversity from his childhood he never lost courage and hope. His focus and self-determination made him conquer every kind of adversity in his life. Today he is an exemplar for the people of the entire nation and world.

Adversity teaches us lessons of life. It makes us brave to handle every difficult situation in our life. The best way is to accept it and live our life. It is good to find a solution to every problem rather than blaming others for that. The way we find solutions to the adversities in our life determines our capability and courage. It can be said that adversity can change a person if people have the power to overcome it in a better way.

Conclusion

We must always welcome the adversities in our life. It provides us the real experience of life and helps us in developing more intellect and maturity. Adversity in the real sense is a great opportunity that helps us in becoming what we are in reality.

FAQs: Frequently Asked Questions

Q.1 Why is adversity beneficial for us?

Ans. It helps in making us self-dependent and gather courage to get rid of struggles of life.

Q.2 What does adversity teaches us in life?

Ans. It teaches us to learn from difficulties and become better person in life.

Q.3 How adversities makes us successful?

Ans. Adversities provide encouragement that leads us towards success.

Q.4 What makes us mentally stronger?

Ans. It is our self-confidence and optimistic attitude.

Q.5 What was Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam's quote for adversity?

Ans. "Adversity always presents opportunities for introspection" was the quote of Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam for adversity.

how lack of money affects the brain and how to get rid of it

Tamara Fedorova

plunged into research

Author profile

Many people think that in order to fight poverty, you need to work on psychological attitudes.

They are sure that it is enough to learn the right financial thinking, and the money will flow by itself. But poverty is not always due to financial mistakes. Very often it turns into a vicious circle, from which it is impossible to get out even with a strong desire. This is partly due to what the lack of resources does to human biology.

What do you learn

  • What is poverty stress
  • How a lack of money affects the brain
  • How a lack of money affects the solutions
  • How to deal with poverty stress

What such stress is

“My workplane exceeds 700 000 $⁣ (59 859 000 R). My latest book series on quantitative finance has just been released internationally. But all this is not enough,” Christian Cooper, a well-known financier and member of the American Council on Foreign Relations, wrote in his essay “Why Poverty is Like a Disease”. He admitted that he lives in constant stress - because of the fear of returning to hungry times. He decided not to have children, partly because he never feels financially secure.

Cooper was the eldest child in a large family that did not even have enough money for food. He studied at an illegal Christian school, there were no teachers, only the preacher's wife occasionally taught lessons. His classmates lived in the same conditions, many of them died long ago from a heroin overdose. But Cooper survived - when he was 15, a local college professor took him under his wing. He helped him get an education and get a job.

What Cooper is experiencing is called financial anxiety. It is common to almost all people, but sometimes it becomes so strong that it is more like post-traumatic disorder.

Community 08/24/21

How to get rid of the idea that there is not enough money?

Even if the money problem is solved, this anxiety does not always go away. The point is that poverty is much more than just a lack of resources. Its influence on life is so great that many processes in the body change under its influence.

The main mechanism that turns poverty into a physiological problem is stress. It has evolved to bring the nervous system into a mobilized state: cortisol levels, blood pressure and heart rate increase. Blood rushes to the muscles, they are tense and ready for increased stress. This helps a person to respond more successfully to threats.

But if the nervous system is constantly excited, it exhausts the body and restructures its work. Stress becomes chronic. This is what makes the stress of poverty so dangerous - it never recedes and does not give a rest: if you do not solve financial problems, they approach with even more terrifying proportions.

Poverty increases the risk of almost every problem a person may face: obesity and diabetes, cancer, depression and anxiety, heart disease, dementia, loneliness and early death. Sometimes 10 times.

Stress as a Mechanism for the Harmful Effects of Poverty on Children - American Psychological Association

Blockade - in the illness of our grandchildren - isrageo. com

These risks do not disappear completely, even when the need is no more. And often they are even inherited. A study of Leningrad blockade survivors showed that even their grandchildren and great-grandchildren still have an increased risk of obesity, osteochondrosis, heart disease, and dental pathologies.

Approximately the same conclusions were reached by researchers who studied the consequences of a hungry winter 1944-1945 in Holland. Children born during this period had an increased risk of various diseases throughout their lives, and their career successes, as a rule, were more modest than those who were born in a quieter time.

Hunger is the extreme manifestation of poverty. In order for the stress of poverty to affect health, it is enough just to have a lack of resources. Some changes appear even before birth.

How poverty affects the brain

The paradox of poverty stress is that it begins to destroy health and psyche before a person realizes that he is poor. Studies have shown that chronic stress in a pregnant woman leads to changes in the development of the baby's brain. Due to constant tension, the secretion of hormones involved in emotions, cognition and behavior changes. The consequences can manifest themselves in infancy, and can persist for life in the form of anxiety, depression, aggression, hyperactivity, and low stress tolerance. If a deficient environment persists after birth, this exacerbates the problems.

In 2015, Columbia University neuroscientist Kimberly Noble published a study that analyzed MRI scans of more than a thousand children. She found that those who lived in poverty had, on average, 6% less cortical area than children from wealthy families.

Family Income, Parental Education, and Brain Structure in Children and Adolescents - nature.com

How Income Affects Child Brain Development - ted.com

This part of the brain is responsible for much of the cognitive work. Tests showed that participants in the experiment from poor families are worse at reading, concentrating, remembering and having a smaller vocabulary. Noble sums up: by the age of two, differences in the brains of the rich and the poor become noticeable. On average, the results of cognitive tests of a child from a needy family will be 60% lower.

Source: Nature

What exactly causes this result, scientists do not yet know. Noble has two theories. Firstly, this may be due to the fact that wealthy families invest more in the educational environment. Secondly, financial stress often leads to less warm relationships in the family. If a parent has to work at several jobs, it is unlikely that he will have the opportunity to spend a lot of time with a child.

But, of course, it is not only the cerebral cortex that changes because of poverty. There is also evidence that financial difficulties reduce gray matter volume and interfere with the related work of different parts of the brain. In addition, chronic stress negatively affects the work of the hippocampus and amygdala, which are responsible for memory and emotional reactions.

/list/biases-and-money/

6 cognitive biases that make us spend more

Source: IRP

However, Kimberly Noble notes that the effect of poverty on the brain is not always the same. Her research reflects only general trends, of which there are many exceptions. For example, she has seen many poor children whose brains are no different from those of their wealthy peers. Need is a risk factor for cognitive decline, but some lucky people manage to avoid it.

In such cases, language development may have played a role. If a parent talks to a child a lot, it has been proven to increase cognitive abilities in adulthood. Noble urges to talk more with children and discuss important issues with them more often.

Second Year Language Experience and Late Childhood Language Outcomes - pediatrics.aappublications.org

How Poverty Affects Decisions

Financial hardship increases the risk of highly irrational decisions. The thing is that stress makes attention tunnel: a person is extremely focused on one problem and loses sight of other important details. He can quickly solve a specific financial problem, but use an inadequate amount of resources for this and thereby create a new problem.

Scientists from several universities, including Harvard and Princeton, demonstrated how this works in a series of experiments.

How Poverty Changes the World - review.chicagobooth.edu

Participants in one experiment played a game similar to Angry Birds. They were divided into two groups: "rich" players - they had a large number of attempts to hit the target, and "poor" players - they had only a few attempts. Initially, it was assumed that the "rich" would show better results - after all, they have more chances to train accuracy. But the result was the opposite: players with a small number of attempts were able to hit the target more accurately, although it took them much longer to calculate each shot. But when the "poor" were given the opportunity to "take" the number of attempts, their accuracy evaporated. In addition, many borrowed disproportionately.

Another conclusion of the study is that the lack of resources significantly increases the cognitive load on a person. "Rich" players are much less tired of games, despite a large number of attempts, than "poor" players, who had to spend a lot of energy on each step. In real life, in conditions of financial difficulties, the same thing happens. Every small decision - like going to the grocery store - requires a lot of analysis, because the consequences of a rash decision can be too severe. Moreover, the cognitive load increases even when a hypothetical financial problem needs to be solved.

Researchers surveyed shopping mall patrons in the United States, including people with above-average incomes and those who barely had enough for basic things. Each of them was asked a question: you need to spend 150 $⁣ (10,900 R) to repair the car, what will you do - pay the full amount, borrow money or not repair at all?

Ildar Shafir Analysis: DeficitPDF, 251 KB

At the same time, respondents were asked to play computer games that assessed their cognitive abilities. At this stage, there was no difference in the results of the rich and the poor.

But then the respondents were asked to answer the same question, but the repair price increased to $1,500⁣ (R108,988). Considering the answer to this question, wealthy players showed the same results, but the results of people with financial difficulties deteriorated significantly. Measurements showed that their IQ level decreased by an average of 13 points. For comparison: a sleepless night reduces the level of intelligence by an average of 10 points. The entire concentration of this group of participants was aimed at solving a complex financial problem, because of this it was almost impossible to think about anything else.

Experiments with Indian farmers showed similar results. They were tested on cognitive abilities before the harvest - when many of them were already running out of money - and after, when their labor was paid. In the second case, the majority showed much higher results.

/list/money-and-happiness/

Is it possible to buy happiness: what science says on this topic , leads to the fact that they often make suboptimal decisions. Their brain is always busy solving pressing money problems, and this cannot but take a huge amount of energy. As a result, there is less time and energy left for communication with children, for everyday life and for work itself. Over time, fatigue only accumulates, this leads to even more bad decisions and problems with mental and physical health.

How to deal with the consequences of poverty

Scholars who study poverty agree that centralized programs supported by the authorities are needed to combat it. But what these programs should be is a matter of controversy.

Ildar Shafir believes that it is very important for the government to reduce the cognitive load of poor people. For example, social services will be useful to support low-income parents: sometimes babysitting is the best help. And getting financial assistance from the state should be easy: if you have to stand in long lines and submit dozens of applications, this only exacerbates the problem.

The Psychology of Deficiency - American Psychological Association

New Attempt to See How Poverty Affects the Young Brain - nytimes.com

Kimberly Noble believes that poverty and related health problems can be significantly reduced with regular payments. She is currently participating in the First Years of Life research program. A thousand pregnant women living below the poverty line were attracted to participate in it. Within five years after the birth of a child, they will be paid money, increasing their monthly income by 20-25%. Noble is going to analyze how this will affect the development of children and their stress levels.

Neither Shafir nor Noble give advice on how to get out of poverty. Christian Cooper, a successful financier with financial anxiety, says that all success stories are first of all rare luck, and not the result of incredible work on yourself. What can really help is financial literacy and the desire to save at least a small amount, as well as skills to manage the stress of poverty.

Approximately the same advice can be given to those who no longer live in poverty, but still worry too much about money. Noble says: a poor childhood is not a sentence, and reminds of neuroplasticity. The human brain is capable of changing in response to new experiences at any age. For example, research shows that psychotherapy sessions help reduce financial anxiety among low-income people. Here are some exercises that may be helpful.

/psychotherapy/

How psychotherapy works

How to worry less about money

Matvey Zotov

financial psychologist

A person cannot always solve the financial difficulties that have befallen him, but he can always do something good for himself . True, it is not so easy to start taking care of yourself. For people with financial difficulties, any question related to money is unsettling. For example, as soon as they decide to buy something for their own pleasure, pangs of conscience begin. This condition should not be ignored. Better take a break and to return to this in a calm mood. Resistance increases negative emotions, and in such a situation, none of the methods listed below will be useful.

Determine if you are truly poor. Poverty, in which people cannot afford basic things, is still common, and this is a big problem. But often in my practice there are situations when people simply ignore the benefits they have. To be more objective, determine which of these statements is closer to you:

  1. I only have enough for food.
  2. I have the opportunity to purchase slightly more expensive products.
  3. I can buy household appliances. This will be noticeable for my budget, but I will not have to suffer and seek funds.
  4. I have enough money to buy a new car without a loan.
  5. I can buy an apartment, a house and luxury items.

Only the first item from this list characterizes a difficult financial situation. If you chose another, then everything is not so bad. Often there are disturbing ideas: "not enough" or "could be better." This is no reason to ignore the good. Realize how much good you have from a material point of view.

Go ahead and answer the question: what good did you get from having a poor childhood? Perhaps you have learned to sew or be independent. Surely this brings you its bonuses today.

Explain the concepts of poverty and wealth. Answer the question: how does it feel to be poor in your understanding? For example, it is important for you to have a car, then write: “If I am poor, I cannot buy a car” and so on. The list must contain more than three items. Finish and set aside this work for a day or two, and then look at your list from the side, as if someone else had compiled it. You may consider these points irrelevant to your life now.

Now answer the question: Who is a rich person? Also, three points is enough. Do not use abstract language like “a rich person is someone who can afford everything”, but specific ones. Let's say "he buys expensive bread and does not suffer from the high cost of the product."

You may suddenly realize that some of the points are already quite capable of being implemented. It might be worth doing this. This will help to make sure that this is already a fact of reality. Only in this way will the understanding come that you are not who you were before.

Estimate how much your time is worth. Low-income people tend to devalue their time. And it definitely costs money, albeit a little. When working under a contract, when there are fixed monthly payments, it is easier to determine the cost per hour. It is more difficult to do this on freelance, but it is also real.

Why do you need to know this at all? Through this technique comes an understanding of whether, for example, it is necessary to spend half a day on a trip to another part of the city in order to save three rubles on the purchase of goods. Also, this practice will allow you to more objectively assess the benefits and risks of a loan.

/freelance-calc/

Freelance calculator: how to estimate the cost of your work and not miscalculate

Set a painless amount. If you save too much on yourself, then soon it will lead to emotional exhaustion. Give vent to feelings. Agree that the loss of one ruble will not cause you serious worries.

Try to find an amount that will be painless to part with. With its help, you can experiment: make small or larger purchases. Spending should bring exceptionally pleasant experiences, pleasure. Do not strive to choose functionally useful things, all the salt is only in pleasant emotions.

Father Alexander Smirnov: The Lord changes people

Komsomolskaya Pravda

SocietyTime of FaithABOUT DIFFERENCE«Time of Faith». News

Maya ERSHOVA

October 5, 2016 12:57

What happens to a person in the sacrament of Baptism? What is its meaning?

The Sacrament of Baptism in the Church of St. John the Baptist

Why and how are public conversations held for those who wish to receive this Sacrament? Who can become a godfather? What do they and parents who want to baptize a child need to be prepared for? We asked all these questions to the regular priest of the John the Baptist parish, Priest Alexander Smirnov. It was Father Alexander who became the head of the “School of the Godparents” of the “Time of Faith” project, which Komsomolskaya Pravda is implementing with the grant support of the international competition “Orthodox Initiative”, and conducted several of its classes.

- Father Alexander, our "School of Godfathers" was held in the form of categorical conversations, which are now obligatory for those wishing to receive the Sacrament of Baptism. As far as I know, this was not the case before - you came to the temple, and you were baptized. Why are there new rules?

- That's right. Before baptism, parents and godparents of baptized children are given at least two readings. We are talking about the Gospel, the Old Testament commandments, the uniqueness of Christianity, and much more. Why and why? Everything is simple. The majority of Russians consider themselves Orthodox Christians, according to polls - about 82%. But how many of them go to the temple? Confess, take communion? Unfortunately, not much. Remember how the writer wrote about this phenomenon 19century Nikolai Leskov: "Rus' is baptized, but not enlightened." Alas, the situation has not changed.

The usual picture. Announcement before baptism. There are 20 people in the hall. At the beginning, I always ask: “Which of you opened the Gospel at least once in your life?” Alas, two or three people. And, thank God that there are such, and thank God that the rest honestly answer “no”. But it is not a fact that those who opened the Gospel read it. Most of the time it opens and closes...

- Why?

- Various reasons. There are also objective ones. Perhaps the language of the Gospel is difficult for the perception of a modern person. After all, this is not only a different language of writing, it is also a different culture and time of the events described. Remember, the first chapter lists the genealogy of Jesus Christ: “Abraham begat Isaac; Isaac begat Jacob; Jacob begat Judah and his brothers; Judah begat Perez and Zerah by Tamar; Perez begat Esrom; Esrom begat Aram; Aram begat Aminadab; Aminadab begat Nahshon; Nahshon begat Salmon; Salmon gave birth to Boaz from Rahava…” A person starts reading this and there is not only rejection, but some kind of misunderstanding. The man just closes the book. What if he's prepared? He knows that the Gospel of Matthew was written for the Jews, who always kept synoptic books, fixing the genealogy. And so, in order to convince the Jews of the origin of Jesus Christ, that this is exactly the messiah expected from the lineage of David, the apostle Matthew gives such a genealogical proof. If you know this historical fact, it becomes clear why the first chapter begins this way and not otherwise.

- I agree, it's difficult. Indeed, according to surveys, less than 10% of those who opened the Gospel then read it.

- That's right. So it turns out that, considering ourselves Christians, we are them only nominally. After all, what does it mean to be a Christian? Not only read the Gospel - the teachings of Christ. And try to apply it in life, build your life according to the precepts of Christ. A person comes, wanting to be baptized himself or to baptize a child. I ask questions: “Why do you need this? What brings you to the temple? Are you drawn to the teachings of Christ? Do you want to live according to the laws of God? To be honest, the answers are different: “Well, I don’t know, everyone in our family is baptized”, “grandmother asks a lot”, “the child will have a guardian, God will protect him” ... The meaning and purpose of baptism are completely different. That's why we start with the basics. Before baptism, two categorical conversations are held for parents and godparents of baptized children. We are talking about the Gospel, the commandments of the Lord, the uniqueness of Christianity, the meaning of the sacrament of Baptism, its basic rules.

- Your message is clear. Godparents must be church-going people. Right?

- Right. Only then will the godson be of real benefit and help from you. Often I start with an allegory, and a dialogue arises:

I ask the women: “Do you cook deliciously?”

- Until the husband complained...

- So you can teach your child to cook?

- I can…

- And if you don't live a spiritual life, what can you teach your godson?

Thinking. As they think, when the question arises in conversations, “why exactly Christianity”? What is the essence and uniqueness? Not everyone is ready to answer.

- How did you personally answer this question for yourself?

- There are many religions and beliefs. If we were born in a Muslim country, we would probably choose not Christ, but Allah. But we are in Russia, and whether we wanted it or not, thank God, 11 centuries ago the decision was made, Rus' was baptized. Our values, our spirituality, our Orthodox traditions formed a certain way of thinking, our archetype, if you like. For me, the uniqueness of Christianity is obvious. Would there be Christianity without Christ? No.

What did he do? As we say, he was crucified on the cross, he died for all of us. We asked him about it? No. He accepted death voluntarily. Are you ready to give your life for someone? Answer yourself. I think we are ready to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of those we love, we love more than ourselves. Here is the answer. Christ loved us. This is the uniqueness of Christianity. That's why they say it changed the world. How? With your love. Is there another denomination in which the Lord God makes such a sacrifice for a person? No. That's why I chose Christ.

- Father Alexander, at the “School of Godfathers” you asked the audience a question, saying that one can believe in God, live according to one’s conscience, even go to church and pray, and still not be a baptized person… “Why does a person need the sacrament of baptism? What is its meaning? ”, - you asked and people thought.

- Yes, and, remember, we were looking for an answer together.

I asked our audience to imagine themselves as small children, pure, pure. How is an adult different from a child? The child believes in everyone and everything. Unlike us, adults, dozens of times deceived, betrayed, offended. Why do I ask my listeners to imagine themselves as children? Projecting the biblical story, the very beginning. Eve and Adam live in paradise. By the way, what is paradise for you?

- Tough question. How are the pictures? Blue sky and sea, a lot of greenery, a place where it's warm, good and everything is there?

- Approximately so many people answer. According to the Gospel "Paradise is the Kingdom of Heaven." Paradise is a biblical word, a worldly synonym is “happiness”. What do we want from life? Be happy, right? In the concept of "happiness" we usually put a certain comprehensive set of benefits, social, material, spiritual. And more! True, the whole trouble is that in this material world we cannot be happy all the time. Now I'm happy, but in a minute I'm not. Something has changed. Too many feelings, desires, fears in a person in the real world. Fear for the children that they will get sick. Fear for parents that they will die. Such is the nature of man. I had just been happy, but suddenly I thought that I had not been in Thailand for a year, but there was no money, and I was instantly unhappy. Look at small children. It is easier for them, like our forefathers who lived in paradise. They are just happy, without desires, without fears. Ada and Eve are in their original natural state, directly communicating with God. This is their nature, their natural state up to a certain point. But what happens next?

- Eva does what she does…

- Yes, and often men say, “Well, they say, Eva is so-and-so bad, she acted wrong.” No need to scold Eve! (laughs). It is a child, pure and undefiled. She doesn't know what a lie is. But, alas, the fruit from the Tree of knowledge of good and evil is plucked. The very essence of man, his divine nature, is changing. Harmony disappears, feelings, fear appear. Remember Scripture?

The Lord asked, "Adam, where are you?"

Adam answered: “I heard your voice in paradise and was afraid, because I was naked, and hid myself.”

God asked again: “Who told you that you were naked? Have you not eaten the fruit of the tree from which I forbade you to eat?”

But Adam said, "The woman that You gave me, she gave me fruit, and I ate it." So Adam began to shift the blame on Eve and even on God himself, who gave him a wife.

And the Lord said to Eve, “What have you done?”

But Eve, instead of repentance, answered: "The serpent seduced me, and I ate."

What did Adam and Eve do? They shifted responsibility to each other. Didn't ask for forgiveness. Yes, they did not know what forgiveness is ... Here is another Sacrament of the Church for you - repentance.

To become pure and blameless, we must be open and honest before God, we must ask for forgiveness. But at that biblical moment, when a person does what the Lord God forbade, the thread connecting them breaks. The Lord proclaims the consequences of sin committed.

God said to Eve: “ In pain you will bear children and you must obey your husband”

said to Adam:0142 as before . Thorns and thistles she will grow for you. In the sweat of your face you will eat bread” , then you will eat by hard work, “until you return to the ground from which you were taken” , that is, until you die. "For dust thou art, and to dust thou shalt return" .

People were expelled from paradise, they became mortal. The act committed by them against the will of God is called original sin. And a completely different human story begins with fratricide, with all our passions and sins ... Here is the answer, for which we need baptism, my good ones. Baptism washes away our original sin. Man is renewed and born into spiritual life with Christ. And if this spiritual life is correct, then this means a person’s deep awareness of his sinful damage and the desire to change with the help of God, which leads a person to regular confession, repentance, and communion. Then the person begins to change. I assure you, the Lord changes people.

Flash poll

Question-answer

- At what age can a baby be baptized?

- Already on the 8th day. There was a tradition to baptize on the 40th day, as in Old Testament times. But now there is no such strict rule.

— If there is a danger that the child may die, is it possible to baptize him without waiting 8 days?

- Yes. And the priests are even ready to go to the hospital and perform the sacrament of baptism there.

What is the main task of godparents?

Be an example of the Christian faith for your godchildren. Ideally, godparents should be church-going, Orthodox Christians. To be able and willing to communicate with the child, to find time to visit the temple with them, to help in everything.

How many godchildren can a godfather have?

- It depends on how many people you are ready to be responsible for before God and people. There must be strength, desire, love. Sometimes, I hear, they say, I have 10 godchildren, and even 12 ... I think we should weigh our strengths.

How many godparents should a child have?

- Usually two. Man and woman. But there may be one.

- When should a child not be baptized?

- A person who denies the truths of the Orthodox faith cannot become an Orthodox Christian. The priest has the right to refuse to baptize a person if he is going to accept the sacrament as some kind of magical rite or has some pagan belief regarding baptism itself. But this is a separate issue, and it is better to discuss it individually with each.

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