How can i get my husband to spank me

So You Want Him to Spank You?-Getting your man to have Fifty Shades of Fun • Ana's Attic Book Blog

For years, I fantasized about a little spanking. But I always felt like it would ruin the whole thing if I had to ask. I would lose the breathless shock of being spanked. My husband knew I liked it and did it lightly once in a while, but didn’t quite realize how much, as well as how much I like that and other ‘kinky fuckery”. (I didn’t really realize until I started reading more) I wanted HIM to push me to do more, I didn’t want to tell him, because again, that ruins it, I want HIM to take control. Reading all of these erotic books has finally made me speak up more, and believe me, my husband is totally stepping up, and enjoying every second.

Maybe you haven’t even talked about any of your fantasies with your lover. Many of my friends never have. It’s time!!!! Right now, Fifty Shades of Grey is in the news every day. Use it as a starting point of a conversation. Tell him what parts turned you on. Whatever you do, don’t say “I wish you were more like Christian Grey”, and don’t bring it up during the act. Try for a nice romantic evening. Ask him his fantasy first. Tell him you will make it come true, then do it! (It’ll be your turn next). I know how hard it is to talk about, but would you rather fantasize or do?

If you can’t find a way to start the conversation try this: If you read on your iPhone or iPad, take a screen shot (press the home button and the button on top together) of a page that really turned you on, and text that photo to your man while he’s at work (beware if you have photo stream set up), or take a photo of a page of the book. Send it with a text that says “reading this is making me wet”, or “OMG, this sounds so hot!”.

I must tell you, Fifty Shades of Grey is actually not a great example of a BDSM book. In fact, in some ways it is dangerous and gives out wrong information on safe, sane and consensual BDSM relationships. But I applaud the book for waking up our libidos and our fantasies. See My Favorite Dom/Sub or BDSM Romance Books for others.

Communication is so, so important in any relationship, and beginning a Dom/sub relationship (even just for bedroom play) needs to be discussed. Tell him you’d love to try getting tied up. Better yet, send him my post for beginner Doms: Beginning BDSM & Spanking 101: Make her Fifty Shades of Grey Fantasy Come True (click on post title to get it in its own window to e-mail).

Remember ladies, the appeal of the Dominant man is that he takes all the control and decisions from you, so if you are barking out orders like “spank me harder”, or “don’t do that, do it like Christian”, that isn’t going to work for either of you. Keep in mind, your partner is NOT Christian Grey. He very likely has not read the book, and he isn’t a mind reader. Talk about what worked and didn’t after the scene, don’t bark orders during. In the meantime, check out the post on beginning Domination for men.

One other suggestion: buy some toys and bondage gear and give it to your lover. That’s one way to start a conversation! I have hand-picked items (from Amazon) that were featured in Fifty Shades of Grey, plus I added more. There are lots of categories to choose from. Visit the Red Room of Pain/Erotic Playroom in the Ana’s Attic main site for my selection, or visit Amazon’s new “shades” shop here.

Here are also some famous books dealing with BDSM:

  • Screw the Roses Send Me The Thorns by Phillip Miller and Molly Devlin
  • SM 101- A realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman
  • The New Bottoming Book– by Dossie Easton

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7 Tricks to Get Your Boyfriend to Spank You in the Bedroom

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So you want to be spanked. That’s great! But you may be wondering to yourself, “How do I get my boyfriend to spank me?” You can always leave a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey on your nightstand, but there’s no guarantee he’ll read it. No, there are much better methods for getting your boyfriend to accommodate your spanking needs. How to get my boyfriend to spank me is a common question, and we will provide the answers.

If you are tired about just thinking about how to get my boyfriend to spank you, and want him to start doing it, here are some ways:

Side note: If you are currently struggling to orgasm during sex or masturbation, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It will teach you how to have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation. It works even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating. You can find out more here.

1. Ask Him Directly

When you’re not having sex yet, like when you’re out to dinner, bring up the subject. Say to him, “I want you to spank me.” He’ll probably like the idea and might want to get home before the appetizers arrive.

Or you could wait and say, “Spank me,” while you are having sex. Maybe you can bite him or slap him on the butt. Then you can tell him that you deserve a spanking for doing that. Talking about it directly is easier when you use advice from this post about communication.

2. Wear Some Personalized Panties

You can write a special message for your boyfriend that he’ll see when you’re wearing only your panties. Using a permanent marker, write the words, “Spank me” on the back end of your underwear.

Or buy underwear that is see-through only at the butt. He’ll get the “spank me” message loud and clear. There are also panties with sayings like “It’s not going to spank itself” on them to send the right message.

If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.

You may want to remove your underwear before the spanking begins!


Tell Him How You Like It When He’s in Control

One of the top fantasies women have is that of being forcefully ravished by a man. Many romance novels feature a strong male character who wants sex and who won’t accept a woman’s initial hesitance. So if that sounds like you, tell him that you want to be dominated, and the way you like him to show his control is to give you a good spanking.

We’ve got tips for being submissive during sex right here!

4. Talk Dirty During Sex

When you’re having sex, ask him if you’ve been a bad girl or if you’re a naughty girl. He’ll probably say that yes you are. Then ask him what you’ve done. He’ll probably say something, whether it’s sexually related or not, like you didn’t give him a blow job yet or that you left your clothes on the floor. You then respond that you need to be punished for being so naughty. He might then pick up that you want to be spanked at this point. If not, go ahead and tell him, “Spank me” and that you deserve it for doing whatever it was he said you did.

Dirty talking doesn’t come easily to everyone, so check out our detailed dirty talking advice and examples.

5. How to Spank for the Most Pleasure

To get the most pleasure from being spanked, have him bend you over his knee. I actually teach this in my guide on how to spank your husband.

Then, have him put a pillow under your stomach for maximum comfort and positioning. You can also get down on all fours or lie down on your stomach. He should be spanking the meatier part of your butt cheek where the cheek meets your thigh. After the spank, it feels good for him to lightly caress the area he just spanked. Note that he shouldn’t be wearing any rings on his fingers when he spanks you.

6. What to Use

Your boyfriend can use several tools besides his hand to spank you. With all of these, it’s best to start slowly and build up the intensity of the swing used to do the spanking. You might even enjoy a massage or a soft tickle to begin. Then, he can work his way up to letting you feel the sting of the intense slap.

His hand: Start by having him use his hand, of course. He can smack you on your butt open-handed, or he can cup his hand. Both feel different and make different sounds.

A paddle: (available in wood, leather, silicone or metal): Each type of paddle feels differently, and all of them are more forceful than the hand. You might want to have him start with his hand and then switch to the paddle. This tool might be too intense to use right from the beginning.

A whip: You can find whips or even riding crops in all sorts of lengths and styles. Whips usually make a loud, cracking noise.

A flogger: This is like a whip, but it has many tails. Floggers made of soft material, such as suede, might be better when you first start.

A cane: The cane sensation is similar to a whip’s. You’ll feel a sharp, intense pain. A cane will probably leave marks on your skin.

Learn more about how to spank and impact play.

Consider wearing Ben Wa balls in your vagina during your spanking session – more ideas to try here. When he spanks, you’ll feel the balls moving around.

7. Set Up Some Rules

Now that you know how to get the job done, there are some ground rules you should consider. You need a safe word that you can say if the spanking is hurting you more than exciting you.

But don’t say, “stop” or “that hurts.” Those words might put a damper on the experience. A prearranged word that has no meaning associated with sex, like “broccoli,” will let him know that you’ve had enough.

Or if you don’t want him to stop but want him to ease up a bit on the pain part, you can use code words that mimic traffic lights. Red means stop, yellow means ease up, and green means keep doing what you’re doing. Read more about safe words.

Spanking is one of those activities that provides pleasure even though some pain is involved. The first time you ask your boyfriend to spank you might feel a bit forced or awkward, but you’ll probably both enjoy yourselves so much that it won’t be difficult to get your boyfriend to spank you again.

Depending on how intense the spanking session is, your butt might be a little red and sore afterward, but that feeling shouldn’t last for long, especially if you apply a balm to help soothe it. More on that here.

If it felt good and you you enjoy being dominated, what’s a little sensitivity later? Now that you’ve found out the answer to how to get your boyfriend to spank you, you’re all set for some fun.

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90,000 how to ask the MCH to spank me



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tell him that you accidentally flew in, but you don't know from whom, because there are too many of them and you are already confused. Ask to remember when you exactly had an act - for the calculation, maybe he will be lucky and he is the father. And then abruptly turn around and wait :-)