Healing deep emotional wounds

8 Tips for Healing Emotional Wounds

Do you ever wonder if healing from emotional wounds is really possible? Can someone really heal from trauma, rejection, depression, a broken heart?

Perhaps youve been hurting for a long time and things dont seem to be getting better.

Perhaps you feel stuck, like youve tried everything, and it hasnt helped.

Or perhaps you feel like youre too old or its too late for you to change.

When you feel so broken and defeated, the task of rebuilding or reinventing yourself and your life feels overwhelming. Its natural to have doubts to wonder if emotional healing is really possible.

I want to assure you that emotional healing is possible. As a therapist, I see people make remarkable recoveries, becoming healthy, happy, and more fully themselves often in ways they never imagined.

But, its true, not everyone returns to emotional health. Some people continue to experience deep emotional pain, repeat unhealthy behaviors and relationships, and struggle with negative, distorted thoughts.

In my 20+ years as a psychotherapist and social worker, Ive noticed some commonalities among people who heal more fully from their emotional wounds and pain. I hope these reflections and tips will help you heal, as well.

Take baby steps. Trying to make too many changes all at once can backfire. You may become overwhelmed or feel like a failure if you set unrealistic expectations. And dramatic changes are often unsustainable. Making micro-changes small, manageable, incremental changes create feelings of success, hope, and encouragement that are important to carry you through your healing process. You can learn more about making micro-changes here.
Remember that you dont have to heal 100% to improve the quality of your life. Many people mistakenly believe that emotional healing is all-or-nothing. Again, this belief can be discouraging and overwhelming. But most importantly, its not accurate. Any modest amount of healing will improve the quality of your life. Take it one step at a time and you will notice small improvements in your mood, ability to cope with triggers, relationships, self-esteem, and ability to complete your daily activities.
Be patient and persistent. Healing is a lot of work. We need to be patient and allow for the time needed to gain new insights and skills. And we need to be persistent and keep going even when it gets difficult, be willing to try new approaches, and challenge ourselves in new ways.
Set realistic expectations. Im a big believer in the importance of setting realistic expectations. When we dont, we end up disappointed and frustrated often at ourselves, which doesnt help us heal. One of the most common unrealistic expectations that I see is expecting progress to be consistently forward. Nobody just gets stronger and stronger, healthier and healthier. Progress is more likely to be two steps forward and one step backward. And, honestly, dont be surprised if sometimes its two steps backward and one step forward. This isnt a failure, its a reality. And realistic expectations coupled with patience, persistence, and self-compassion will lead to forward progress, it just may include a few detours and be slower than youd like.
View setbacks as part of the process and learning opportunities. Not only are setbacks normal, but theyre also Often, we learn more from what doesnt work than what does. So, instead of trying to avoid setbacks or relapses, accept that they are part of the process and challenge yourself to be curious about what you can learn that will help you move forward and toward greater healing and self-love.
Prioritize self-care and self-compassion. When you ask a lot of yourself, you need to give a lot to yourself. And working on emotional healing takes an awful lot of energy, time, and sometimes money. In order to keep going, you need to really pay attention to your feelings and your physical sensations in your body (such as tight muscles, headaches, fatigue, etc. ) because these are your bodys way of telling you what it needs. Take the extra time to listen and take good care of yourself.
Be willing to process your feelings about the past. Trying to avoid whats happened in your past doesnt work. Those feelings tend to stick around, sometimes lying dormant or numbed for a while, but they eventually burst back into our consciousness with a vengeance. This is why therapists so often talk about needing to feel your feelings. We need to feel them and give them space before they lose their power over us and truly become part of the past. You can slowly work on sitting quietly, allowing your feelings to surface, naming them, and exploring what theyre about. For many people, this is quite challenging and working with a therapist can be helpful.
Ask for help. Healing isnt meant to be done in isolation. It isnt easy to ask for help, especially if people have betrayed you in the past. But reaching out for help has so many benefits emotional support, guidance, and the ability to break down shame. And help can take many different forms depending on your needs, so I hope youll look at it as another form of self-care and ask for the kind of help that best meets your needs.

If you feel discouraged, a guided meditation or mantra can help you shift your thoughts towards a more hopeful, positive outlook. You can experiment with the short healing meditation Ive written below or try creating one thats specific to your own challenges and needs.

Emotional healing is possible.

I am learning to take it one day at a time.

I will remember that its not a race to the finish line.

I will be patient with myself and continue to take small steps forward.

And when I have a setback, Ill use it as an opportunity to learn more about myself and how to heal my emotional wounds.

Emotional healing is a lot of work, so I will treat myself with loving care and remember to replenish my physical and emotional energy.

I will try to slow down and feel my feelings.

I will seek help from trusted people who can give me guidance, encouragement, and love along this journey.

I am healing one day at a time.

I am learning to trust myself and speak my truth.

I am learning to embrace my true self, imperfections and all.

I am learning to let go of what other people think and to honor what I think and feel.

I am learning about my interests, priorities, and values.

I am learning to make time for rest, fun, and pursuing my own goals.

I am learning to put myself on my to-do list.

I am learning to be ME.

I am healing one day at a time.

3 Essential Tips on How to Heal Emotional Wounds and Trauma

Self-Help | Trauma

7 Minute Read

W hen we think of the term “healing”, we tend to first think of a physical injury— a broken bone, a strained muscle, an open wound. We can acknowledge that each requires time, rest, a tender touch, and medical attention in order for healing to take place and occur properly so that all is restored. But what happens when the wound is an emotional one? Learn three tips for how to heal emotional wounds and recover from trauma.

What is emotional trauma?

Emotional and psychological traumas are the result of extremely stressful events that leave us feeling unsafe and disconnected from everyone around us. They leave us feeling helpless, powerless, and overwhelmed. Many people also experience painful feelings and memories as well as anxiety that won’t go away.

Just like the traumas that the body endures, we need to recognize that we each experience a range of emotional traumas as the result of life’s many hardships. Emotional trauma is suffered by the mind, heart, or spirit. It can stem from any number of experiences, including:

Loss of a loved one through death
A bad breakup or divorce
Surviving abuse or emotional neglect
Sudden financial hardships
Loss of property

Emotional trauma can leave us feeling helpless, powerless, and overwhelmed.

Emotional and psychological traumas are the result of extremely stressful events that leave us feeling unsafe and disconnected from everyone around us.

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What are the symptoms of emotional or psychological trauma?

Emotional traumas can often be difficult to detect because symptoms manifest differently from person to person. Some might fall into a deep depression and pull away from everyone. Others might mask their pain with drugs, alcohol, or some other acting-out behaviors. Many people might appear to carry on as if it’s business as usual.

Issues of the mind and heart are harder to detect. Therefore, they are easier to hide from the outside world. As a result, we fool ourselves into dismissing, ignoring, or avoiding them in an effort to convince ourselves that we are okay and should just “move on”. But just like any physical wound, a broken heart requires attention, care, love, and healing. We must go through an emotional healing process. Understanding the stages of trauma and recovery is a helpful place to start.

Emotional traumas can often be difficult to detect because symptoms manifest differently from person to person.

How to heal yourself emotionally from trauma or tragedy

The best course of action for healing old emotional wounds is to be an active participant in your healing process. Here are three tips for healing emotional wounds to recover from trauma:

Healing Trauma Tip #1: Practice Identifying The Cause

Injuries to our mind, heart, and spirit must first be identified and acknowledged before they can be treated. So often we walk around carrying pains we don’t even remember picking up. We carry them with us through life. Sometimes, this pain begins in early childhood and stays with us as we navigate adulthood. Other times, sudden shifts or unexpected life changes throw us into a crisis of identity that leaves us feeling lost.

Either way, you will not be able to release the pain you have been carrying if you don’t know that you’re holding onto it. You cannot heal an emotional wound that you invalidate or resist acknowledging.

Ways to identify the cause of emotional wounds

As a therapist, identifying the root causes of clients’ emotional pain and suffering is part of my mission. Meeting with a therapist or counselor is a fantastic opportunity to get in touch with your suffering and general discomfort associated with healing emotional pain. In order to address the underlying trauma, it’s important that you work with a therapist who is both trained in treating trauma and a good fit for your personality. Feeling understood and supported is key to this process.

If you’re reluctant to see a professional, or if professional help is not available, you can still begin to understand the causes of your pain through honestly examining yourself. Look at the people in your life. Determine who and what is triggering your suffering and take notes. Keeping track of thoughts and in a journal can help you find patterns.

If you can’t work with a therapist right away, taking stock of what is causing pain is an important first step. Then you can move toward deciding how to heal emotionally.

If you can’t work with a therapist right away, taking stock of what is causing pain is an important first step. Then you can move toward deciding how to heal emotionally.

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Healing Trauma Tip #2: Practice Mindfulness

Practicing mindfulness means being self-aware and present in the current moment. This is key to a peaceful life at any stage, but especially after emotional trauma. There’s a reason why people need to take time off from work and social engagements after a breakup or significant loss. Slowing down allows us to acknowledge and validate our pain and wounded feelings. This is much better than masking it with busy schedules or obligations.

Additionally, because mindfulness aligns you with the power of now, the traumas of your past will slowly begin to have less control over your emotional state. I tell my clients that healing occurs in the present, not by dredging through all of the trauma forever. We may revisit the traumatic moments as a means of releasing the pain and so that the wound can be uncovered. However, we do not live in the past or stay there for too long. Mindfulness can help retrain your brain to react differently to painful thoughts and memories.

Once you get to the root cause of your pain, you must lean into it and allow yourself to release it. The past only exists in the mind. Where you once were a victim, you can now choose to be a survivor by focusing on the beautiful opportunities available to you in the present moment. This is what a positive mental healing process involves.

Healing occurs in the present, not by dredging through all of the trauma forever.

Healing Trauma Tip #3: Practice Patience

Another crucial aspect of emotional healing is patience. We all know that if you pick at a wound, it won’t heal. If you don’t rest a strained muscle, you risk further damage. The same is true of emotional scars. Stop interfering. Give yourself real time to heal. You cannot put a deadline on your progress.

The choice to heal emotions can be made at any given moment. However, it may take a significant part of a lifetime to heal deeply rooted suffering. Rushing yourself will only result in more distress. Instead, breathe and continue to encourage yourself. Be proud of every step you are taking towards repairing your mental, emotional, and spiritual wounds. Check out this blog post for how breathwork can help you manage overwhelming emotions, including anxiety.

Are you prepared to heal emotional wounds that are keeping you stuck?

The therapists at Clarity Therapy NYC work with people every day who have experienced various kinds of trauma. They help clients develop a healthier view of themselves, strengthen their relationships, and build a new sense of purpose. As a result, people feel more peaceful, whole, and safe. Are you ready to work toward healing?

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Your Turn: What coping methods have you found success with to heal emotional wounds? Share what’s worked for you in the comments below.

Dr. Logan Jones is a Psychologist and Founder of Clarity Therapy. Sign up for his free 30 Days of Gratitude email series and follow him on Instagram at @drloganjones.

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How to heal emotional wounds: the most effective methods

All people get emotional wounds - just someone knows how to cope with them, and someone does not. If something bad happened in your life, the most effective methods will help you get through it faster and with the least consequences for the psyche and energy.

Mental wounds must be healed without ignoring them. The fact is that they can give rise to a large number of negative programs that will bring even more problems in the future. That is why try to follow the tips described below. nine0005

Accept the problem

Most people try to hide from bad memories and problems when they get hurt, but this is not right. This is the most common mistake of all. To heal a wound, you need to accept it and feel it fully. For example, if a loved one left you, you don’t need to immediately rush into a new relationship. Get over what happened and accept it.

When we are physically hurt, we focus on that spot. The same must be done with mental problems. It is for this reason that the best advice in this situation is not to hide from the pain. Allow yourself to feel what you should be feeling right now - sadness, sadness, loneliness, resentment. You yourself will feel when you can start to overcome it. nine0005

Don't hide your tears

When a person restrains himself, it has a very negative effect on his chakras and biofield. Most often, it is those who try to deal with problems from the first minutes, hiding tears, putting on a mask of calmness, who meet with nervous breakdowns. It seems to many that this is a demonstration of willpower, composure, but this is not so. Strong people give way to emotions, but quickly calm down. Those who keep everything in themselves are simply afraid to open up.

Philosophical approach

It becomes very easy to live and deal with problems when you begin to understand that everything that happens has both a negative and a positive side. You need to be able to let go of what you can’t return, and be able to accept what you can’t run away from. Take everything as easy as possible. Stop analyzing the situation. Assessing yourself and your qualities, you once again suffer and worry. Make the most of what happened. If you cannot find anything good in what happened or is happening now, then the realization of this will come later. nine0005

Learn to wait

No wonder they say that time heals. This is how our brain and our energy work. According to research, over time, people transform all bad memories into more neutral ones. No matter how big the current problems seem to you and no matter how deep the spiritual wounds are, tomorrow they will heal a little. The day after tomorrow, a little more. This can go on for a week, or maybe for several years.

Look after your health

As soon as you realize that negative emotions are dragging you down, try to change your lifestyle. A person who is strong physically and energetically is harder to break mentally. That is why experts recommend getting enough sleep during such periods, not leaning on strong drinks, eating better and doing light physical activity. Take care of the body, and then nothing will threaten the soul. nine0005

Seek help from those you care about

If you have a good friend, ask him for help. Say what you need to talk. Tell him about what makes you so depressed or anxious, hurts you. It is not at all necessary to expect any real help from this person. The fact that he listens to you is already a huge step forward. The main thing is not to laugh at you and not to condemn you.

Keep a diary

This is an alternative to communication. If a person does not have close friends and there is no one to complain to, tell about what happened, he can start keeping a diary - at least for the time when he is hard and sad. The diary plays the role of a listener, and often it is more useful than communicating with a person. Splashing emotions on paper - it really helps to cope with mental pain. nine0005

Experts of the site dailyhoro.ru note that oriental techniques such as jin shin jitsu or reiki are very useful for healing spiritual wounds. With them, stress will go away much faster, and it will be replaced by calmness and peace.

Does time heal spiritual wounds?

Is it true that time heals, or does it only heal existing spiritual wounds?

Does time heal spiritual wounds?

The statement that time heals is only true when the wound is "cleansed and dressed". If you can’t deal with the memories and the pain continues to torment you, it is best to seek the help of a psychologist. You can't just let go of that kind of heartache! nine0005

Mental wounds are different

Strong spiritual wounds leave scars, smaller ones heal without a trace. Time is really able to reduce the severity of feelings, remove the intensity of passions.

Much depends on the desire of the person himself. For some of us, for various reasons, it is important to remember what happened to the smallest detail, while others prefer to squeeze out traumatic memories. In order for time to become a doctor, it must be allowed to happen.

Over time, we look at the events from the "other side", without a bright emotional coloring. Such a view helps to correctly assess the past and get rid of unnecessary experiences. Time contributes to the fact that traces of unpleasant events are erased in memory, the brightness of colors goes away, the details of what happened are forgotten. nine0005

Healing with time

Healing with time is the replacement of negative events in the mind by others, also painful or, on the contrary, joyful. Under the influence of emotions and unconscious processing of information in our psyche, the images of the past change somewhat - they lose their sharpness and brightness and do not hurt as much as at the moment of what happened.

We receive the most painful and deep spiritual wounds from people close to us. From those we let into our souls. If you have been treated in such a way that you feel rejected, humiliated, betrayed, abandoned, then what will happen next?! Yes, time heals wounds, but only when the "bullet" that hit you is removed from the wound. If the wound remains in the body, the wound may heal, but at the same time you cannot be called healthy. Until you can deal with your resentment, guilt, or feelings of helplessness and inferiority, time will not heal you, but only dull the pain. nine0005

How to heal a spiritual wound?

The secret of a happy life is not to never face betrayal, violence, betrayal, insults, lies and black ingratitude, but to be able to survive it and leave it far behind.
Is it possible to completely forget what happened over time?

Children are much more inclined to completely forget difficult experiences, since such a psychological defense mechanism as repression is more inherent in immature personalities. An adult is more likely to forget the strength of the emotions that accompanied the experiences, but will remember the facts. Over time, there is some distortion of information, so memories become less vivid. In psychology, it is generally accepted that a person does not forget anything, and all information is stored in the so-called tertiary memory. nine0005

It is possible to forget completely, but, as a rule, this is not deliverance, but the brain's reaction to extreme stress. This phenomenon is called repression: a person refuses to accept the situation in his life, and it seems that he simply forgot it. But, remaining at a deep level of memory, an unprocessed situation affects all actions.

If the experiences were strong, a defense mechanism called repression is activated.

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