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Feelings of despair


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  • SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.

    Also visit the online treatment locator.

SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.

Also visit the online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message: 435748 (HELP4U) to find help near you. Read more about the HELP4U text messaging service.

The service is open 24/7, 365 days a year.

English and Spanish are available if you select the option to speak with a national representative. Currently, the 435748 (HELP4U) text messaging service is only available in English.

In 2020, the Helpline received 833,598 calls. This is a 27 percent increase from 2019, when the Helpline received a total of 656,953 calls for the year.

The referral service is free of charge. If you have no insurance or are underinsured, we will refer you to your state office, which is responsible for state-funded treatment programs. In addition, we can often refer you to facilities that charge on a sliding fee scale or accept Medicare or Medicaid. If you have health insurance, you are encouraged to contact your insurer for a list of participating health care providers and facilities.

The service is confidential. We will not ask you for any personal information. We may ask for your zip code or other pertinent geographic information in order to track calls being routed to other offices or to accurately identify the local resources appropriate to your needs.

No, we do not provide counseling. Trained information specialists answer calls, transfer callers to state services or other appropriate intake centers in their states, and connect them with local assistance and support.

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    For additional resources, please visit the SAMHSA Store.

Last Updated

Last Updated: 08/30/2022

Alcohol, Tobacco, and Other Drugs

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Misusing alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs can have both immediate and long-term health effects.

The misuse and abuse of alcohol, tobacco, illicit drugs, and prescription medications affect the health and well-being of millions of Americans. NSDUH estimates allow researchers, clinicians, policymakers, and the general public to better understand and improve the nation’s behavioral health. These reports and detailed tables present estimates from the 2021 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH).

Alcohol

Data:

  • Among the 133.1 million current alcohol users aged 12 or older in 2021, 60.0 million people (or 45.1%) were past month binge drinkers. The percentage of people who were past month binge drinkers was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (29.2% or 9.8 million people), followed by adults aged 26 or older (22.4% or 49.3 million people), then by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (3.8% or 995,000 people). (2021 NSDUH)
  • Among people aged 12 to 20 in 2021, 15.1% (or 5.9 million people) were past month alcohol users. Estimates of binge alcohol use and heavy alcohol use in the past month among underage people were 8.3% (or 3.2 million people) and 1.6% (or 613,000 people), respectively. (2021 NSDUH)
  • In 2020, 50.0% of people aged 12 or older (or 138.5 million people) used alcohol in the past month (i.e., current alcohol users) (2020 NSDUH)
  • Among the 138.5 million people who were current alcohol users, 61.6 million people (or 44. 4%) were classified as binge drinkers and 17.7 million people (28.8% of current binge drinkers and 12.8% of current alcohol users) were classified as heavy drinkers (2020 NSDUH)
  • The percentage of people who were past month binge alcohol users was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (31.4%) compared with 22.9% of adults aged 26 or older and 4.1% of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (2020 NSDUH)
  • Excessive alcohol use can increase a person’s risk of stroke, liver cirrhosis, alcoholic hepatitis, cancer, and other serious health conditions
  • Excessive alcohol use can also lead to risk-taking behavior, including driving while impaired. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that 29 people in the United States die in motor vehicle crashes that involve an alcohol-impaired driver daily

Programs/Initiatives:

  • STOP Underage Drinking interagency portal - Interagency Coordinating Committee on the Prevention of Underage Drinking
  • Interagency Coordinating Committee on the Prevention of Underage Drinking
  • Talk. They Hear You.
  • Underage Drinking: Myths vs. Facts
  • Talking with your College-Bound Young Adult About Alcohol

Relevant links:

  • National Association of State Alcohol and Drug Abuse Directors
  • Department of Transportation Office of Drug & Alcohol Policy & Compliance
  • Alcohol Policy Information Systems Database (APIS)
  • National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism

Tobacco

Data:

  • In 2020, 20.7% of people aged 12 or older (or 57.3 million people) used nicotine products (i.e., used tobacco products or vaped nicotine) in the past month (2020 NSDUH)
  • Among past month users of nicotine products, nearly two thirds of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (63.1%) vaped nicotine but did not use tobacco products. In contrast, 88.9% of past month nicotine product users aged 26 or older used only tobacco products (2020 NSDUH)
  • Tobacco use is the leading cause of preventable death, often leading to lung cancer, respiratory disorders, heart disease, stroke, and other serious illnesses. The CDC reports that cigarette smoking causes more than 480,000 deaths each year in the United States
  • The CDC’s Office on Smoking and Health reports that more than 16 million Americans are living with a disease caused by smoking cigarettes

Electronic cigarette (e-cigarette) use data:

  • In 2021, 13.2 million people aged 12 or older (or 4.7%) used an e-cigarette or other vaping device to vape nicotine in the past month. The percentage of people who vaped nicotine was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (14.1% or 4.7 million people), followed by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (5.2% or 1.4 million people), then by adults aged 26 or older (3.2% or 7.1 million people).
  • Among people aged 12 to 20 in 2021, 11.0% (or 4.3 million people) used tobacco products or used an e-cigarette or other vaping device to vape nicotine in the past month. Among people in this age group, 8.1% (or 3.1 million people) vaped nicotine, 5.4% (or 2.1 million people) used tobacco products, and 3. 4% (or 1.3 million people) smoked cigarettes in the past month. (2021 NSDUH)
  • Data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s 2020 National Youth Tobacco Survey. Among both middle and high school students, current use of e-cigarettes declined from 2019 to 2020, reversing previous trends and returning current e-cigarette use to levels similar to those observed in 2018
  • E-cigarettes are not safe for youth, young adults, or pregnant women, especially because they contain nicotine and other chemicals

Resources:

  • Tips for Teens: Tobacco
  • Tips for Teens: E-cigarettes
  • Implementing Tobacco Cessation Programs in Substance Use Disorder Treatment Settings
  • Synar Amendment Program

Links:

  • Truth Initiative
  • FDA Center for Tobacco Products
  • CDC Office on Smoking and Health
  • National Institute on Drug Abuse: Tobacco, Nicotine, and E-Cigarettes
  • National Institute on Drug Abuse: E-Cigarettes

Opioids

Data:

  • Among people aged 12 or older in 2021, 3. 3% (or 9.2 million people) misused opioids (heroin or prescription pain relievers) in the past year. Among the 9.2 million people who misused opioids in the past year, 8.7 million people misused prescription pain relievers compared with 1.1 million people who used heroin. These numbers include 574,000 people who both misused prescription pain relievers and used heroin in the past year. (2021 NSDUH)
  • Among people aged 12 or older in 2020, 3.4% (or 9.5 million people) misused opioids in the past year. Among the 9.5 million people who misused opioids in the past year, 9.3 million people misused prescription pain relievers and 902,000 people used heroin (2020 NSDUH)
  • According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Understanding the Epidemic, an average of 128 Americans die every day from an opioid overdose

Resources:

  • Medications for Substance Use Disorders
  • Opioid Overdose Prevention Toolkit
  • TIP 63: Medications for Opioid Use Disorder
  • Use of Medication-Assisted Treatment for Opioid Use Disorder in Criminal Justice Settings
  • Opioid Use Disorder and Pregnancy
  • Clinical Guidance for Treating Pregnant and Parenting Women With Opioid Use Disorder and Their Infants
  • The Facts about Buprenorphine for Treatment of Opioid Addiction
  • Pregnancy Planning for Women Being Treated for Opioid Use Disorder
  • Tips for Teens: Opioids
  • Rural Opioid Technical Assistance Grants
  • Tribal Opioid Response Grants
  • Provider’s Clinical Support System - Medication Assisted Treatment Grant Program

Links:

  • National Institute on Drug Abuse: Opioids
  • National Institute on Drug Abuse: Heroin
  • HHS Prevent Opioid Abuse
  • Community Anti-Drug Coalitions of America
  • Addiction Technology Transfer Center (ATTC) Network
  • Prevention Technology Transfer Center (PTTC) Network

Marijuana

Data:

  • In 2021, marijuana was the most commonly used illicit drug, with 18. 7% of people aged 12 or older (or 52.5 million people) using it in the past year. The percentage was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (35.4% or 11.8 million people), followed by adults aged 26 or older (17.2% or 37.9 million people), then by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (10.5% or 2.7 million people).
  • The percentage of people who used marijuana in the past year was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (34.5%) compared with 16.3% of adults aged 26 or older and 10.1% of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (2020 NSDUH)
  • Marijuana can impair judgment and distort perception in the short term and can lead to memory impairment in the long term
  • Marijuana can have significant health effects on youth and pregnant women.

Resources:

  • Know the Risks of Marijuana
  • Marijuana and Pregnancy
  • Tips for Teens: Marijuana

Relevant links:

  • National Institute on Drug Abuse: Marijuana
  • Addiction Technology Transfer Centers on Marijuana
  • CDC Marijuana and Public Health

Emerging Trends in Substance Misuse:

  • Methamphetamine—In 2019, NSDUH data show that approximately 2 million people used methamphetamine in the past year. Approximately 1 million people had a methamphetamine use disorder, which was higher than the percentage in 2016, but similar to the percentages in 2015 and 2018. The National Institute on Drug Abuse Data shows that overdose death rates involving methamphetamine have quadrupled from 2011 to 2017. Frequent meth use is associated with mood disturbances, hallucinations, and paranoia.
  • Cocaine—In 2019, NSDUH data show an estimated 5.5 million people aged 12 or older were past users of cocaine, including about 778,000 users of crack. The CDC reports that overdose deaths involving have increased by one-third from 2016 to 2017. In the short term, cocaine use can result in increased blood pressure, restlessness, and irritability. In the long term, severe medical complications of cocaine use include heart attacks, seizures, and abdominal pain.
  • Kratom—In 2019, NSDUH data show that about 825,000 people had used Kratom in the past month. Kratom is a tropical plant that grows naturally in Southeast Asia with leaves that can have psychotropic effects by affecting opioid brain receptors. It is currently unregulated and has risk of abuse and dependence. The National Institute on Drug Abuse reports that health effects of Kratom can include nausea, itching, seizures, and hallucinations.

Resources:

  • Tips for Teens: Methamphetamine
  • Tips for Teens: Cocaine
  • National Institute on Drug Abuse

More SAMHSA publications on substance use prevention and treatment.

Last Updated

Last Updated: 03/22/2023

What is a feeling of despair in a person, an explanation of the state of despair

According to studies, despair begins to be felt especially often and sharply when people enter the period of early adulthood - 30-40 years. This harmful feeling causes problems with mental and somatic health.

The state of despair can be seen as a symptom of mental disorders, or it can be a situational emotion that occurs in response to negative life events. An oppressive sense of hopelessness is found in diseases such as depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, various types of addictions, and more. Despair is not always associated with a psychiatric diagnosis, but, regardless of the cause, this feeling has a devastating effect on life and health. Negative emotions threaten not only the well-being and mental stability of a person. They can also rob you of the motivation you need to complete daily tasks, connect with people, or even seek help.

People often experience feelings of despair after tragic events. This is usually the main emotion that arises in response to a sudden traumatic event. In this case, this is a normal and understandable reaction, but it can lead to rash decisions in critical situations, or it can drag on and poison life for a long time. Fortunately, it is in our power to dispel this pernicious feeling. We can learn to cope with any loss, move on, change and continue our lives if we do not ignore the problematic situation and turn for help.

What is despair

Everyone experiences despair at difficult times in their lives. We may despair from time to time about our work, marriage, sex life, finances, world events, and more. But usually this despair dissipates over time, and life goes on. At least until the next crisis.

But sometimes despair does not go away, but, on the contrary, deepens and begins to significantly affect behavior, flowing into a chronic problem. When this feeling reduces the quality of life, prevents you from moving towards goals, dreams and desires, then it becomes pathological or clinical despair.

Despair is characterized by a lack of hope, optimism, and passion for life. This feeling can be described as a mixture of mental anguish, despondency and disappointment, which lead to the loss of the meaning of one's existence. Therefore, in despair, the explanation that life goes on and all problems can be solved may not have the desired effect if there was no preliminary psychotherapeutic preparation.

Despair is a strong emotion that negatively affects how a person perceives himself, other people, personal circumstances and the world in general. Often, hopelessness guides a person's behavior, because of it there is a negative attitude towards the future and the loss of any motivation. To despair means to stop appreciating even those things and events that were once very important. Emotions are often associated with a lack of inspiration, as well as feelings of powerlessness, helplessness, abandonment, oppression, and social isolation.

People who know what despair is can say the following about themselves:

  • My situation will never get better
  • I have no future
  • Nobody and nothing can help me
  • I feel like I've given up
  • It's too late to change anything
  • I have no hope for a bright future
  • I will never be happy again

Unfortunately, it is not always possible to contact a specialist immediately after a traumatic event. But if a person feels that time is running out, and the feeling of despair does not go away, then it is necessary to seek professional help. The therapist will not only help you find the cause of despair and eliminate the feeling of hopelessness, but also teach you how to cope with life's difficulties and think rationally in critical situations. This will help to avoid rash actions that will negatively affect life for many years to come. There is no need to visit a psychotherapist whenever there is a feeling of hopelessness. A competent specialist will teach you how to be persistent and independently cope with these situations in the future. Therapy will make it clear that no matter how hopeless things seem now, there is always hope and meaning to move on.

Suppressed motivation, lack of interest, negative thoughts about the future, and low self-esteem are all common issues that accompany feelings of desperation and that must be dealt with in the therapist's office.

One of the effective psychotherapeutic approaches that are used for this problem is cognitive therapy. It is aimed at working out the negative thoughts and attitudes of the patient. Because the cognitive approach requires people undergoing treatment to carefully consider the validity of their assumptions, a person who is discouraged may initially be resistant to this approach. However, an experienced specialist removes these psychological barriers, helping the patient to look at life from a different angle.

Numerous studies show that psychotherapy often helps people who have fallen into despair find hope and achieve lasting mental health.

If necessary, drug therapy can be carried out, which includes modern antidepressants, mild sleeping pills and other drugs, the choice of which depends on the situation.

What despair means for children

Despair and depression can occur at any age: not only in adulthood or old age, but also in adolescence or even early childhood. The psyche of children is extremely unstable and vulnerable. As such, children and teens are usually more susceptible to trauma than adults, but with the right support and reassurance, they can also recover faster.

The strong, confusing, and frightening emotions that follow traumatic events undermine a child's sense of security, causing them to feel helpless and vulnerable.

Trauma and despair - what does it mean for children and how to recognize them? Manifestations depend on the situation and the age of the child. Among them:

  • Unfounded fears
  • Frequent crying and screaming
  • A large number of aimless movements or, conversely, reduced motor activity
  • Return to behaviors that are characteristic of an earlier age, such as thumb sucking or bedwetting
  • Loss of interest in friends, family and former hobbies
  • Sleep problems
  • Irritability
  • Poor school performance
  • Complaints of physical ailment
  • Feelings of depression, apathy or guilt

Ignoring the problem can lead to irreversible consequences: the child will stop living a full life, may start studying, lose friends and interest in life for many years. Deep despair often degenerates into acts of violence: either against oneself or against others. In the worst cases, mental illness develops, various types of addictions and even suicidal behavior occur.

If a child has fallen into despair so much that this feeling for a long time prevents him from functioning at school or at home, this means that it is no longer possible to postpone the appeal to a psychotherapist.

Signs to watch out for parents:

  • Despair persists for 6 weeks or more
  • Academic and performance problems
  • The child often complains of headaches, nausea, abdominal pain or sleep disturbance
  • Child finds it increasingly difficult to communicate with friends and family
  • Child or adolescent expresses suicidal thoughts
  • The child became withdrawn, anxious
  • Outbursts of rage and aggression that never happened before
  • Bad mood, sadness, tearfulness

The more parents know about the causes, symptoms, and treatment options for their child's depression, the faster their recovery will be. It must be remembered that a child of any age needs not only love, but also respect and trust with at least one of the adult family members. Sometimes the participation of a professional is necessary to normalize intra-family relations. Any major change takes time. But with the support of parents and the help of a competent specialist, anxious thoughts and despair will begin to fade away, and the child's life will return to normal in a few weeks.

Despair and powerlessness: is there a way out?

109 568

Know YourselfAntistress

Let's start with what despair is. This is constraint, the lack of a way out, a solution. For example, a student knows: tomorrow is an exam, but he does not have time to prepare. Or a person gets stuck in a traffic jam on the way to the airport. Time is running out, and unless a miracle happens, he will miss the plane. Or a person has built a house, taken a mortgage from a bank, his debts are increasing, but there is nothing to repay them with.

When despair arises, we realize there is nothing more we can do. In despair, we always feel powerless. As long as we can still do something, we are moving towards the goal, despair does not come. Despair comes when we notice that it is already too late: the misfortune has already happened. It destroys what is valuable.

Two poles: despair and hope

If a house was washed away by a flood, if a child died, if I experienced violence, if my relationship constantly quarrels, if I led a life that led to wrong decisions (separation, abortion, alcohol ... ), then how can I live on? Life is broken, filled with misery.

A desperate person is close to suicide, because everything that is a support, a value, breaks down. Either it's already broken, or I'm watching it fall into decay and disappear. I get hurt when I see things that are important being destroyed. Or I stand in the midst of the ruins of a shattered life. There is no more hope. What else can be? There is no future, the present is ruins, an abyss.

I have no opportunity to intervene and do something, make a decision. I have no choice. I move close to the wall. I'm powerless

The opposite pole of despair is hope. If I have hope, then there is life. As long as there is hope, all is not lost. There may be some kind of turnaround, because the good has not yet disappeared: the house is still standing, the relationship is still being lived, the child, although sick, can recover. The person hopes that the diagnosis he has been made is not the most serious one. He hopes to find a job soon and pay off his debts.

Hope and despair have a marked similarity: they have the same structure. If I hope, I also experience something like impotence. “I hope” means that there is nothing else I can do. I brought the child to the clinic, I take care of him, I am near him, the doctors do what they can do ... And yet I can hope.

How is this possible? When I hope, I am connected with the child and his life. And I will not deny the value of this relationship. Maybe I'm just sitting on my hands and there's nothing else I can do, but I keep in touch. Paradoxically, I remain active. I wish for the best. I still have some confidence left.

The attitude of hope is a reasonable attitude. In hope, misfortune has not yet happened, and what has not happened is not yet completely certain. Something unexpected can happen, and the most reliable thing is to believe that a positive outcome is not excluded. It is possible: the child will get better, I will pass the exam, I am not sick, I will find a job.

Facts alone rule out the possibility. Hope is directed to the future

I hold on to my desire, intention, I hope that everything can be fine. I remain true to this value. It is important for me that the child is healthy, because I love him. And I stay in a relationship. I hold this value high in my hand.

Hope is an art. This is a spiritual art. Next to your own weakness, instead of falling into impotence or lethargy, you can do something else, namely, do not give up what is valuable. In this case, "to do" does not mean external actions. This is a matter of internal installation.

Between hope and despair, there is another concept that is close to despair, namely: “surrender”. When I say, "It doesn't make sense anymore," then I'm giving up something valuable. It's close to depression. When a person gives up, he no longer has hope. In indifference, there is still a little support - until a person falls into the abyss of despair. In despair, it is different: I am already in the abyss.

Desperation doesn't mean I've given up. A man who despairs is a man who hopes

This is someone who is still connected with values, who wants the child to get better. For those who hope, there remains the possibility of a positive outcome. A desperate person has to see that the value that he holds on to is being destroyed or has already been destroyed. The one who despairs experiences how hope dies. What is important to his life is being destroyed.

Despair is pain. The Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard thought a lot about despair and experienced it himself. For him, despair is a wrong inner attitude. This internal disorder comes from outside, from something else. Kierkegaard expanded this and connected it with God: he who does not want to live in harmony with God despairs.

Psychologically, despair means "not feeling hope." This meaning is clearly seen in the Romance languages ​​(despair, désespoir, disperazione, desesperación). Without hope, I lose touch with value, I lose the bearing ground. It's like fear. Feeling fear, we experience the loss of the ground that supports us. In hope, this soil is love for something of value. Despair has a structure of fear and meaninglessness—there is no longer any context to guide me.

What does powerlessness mean?

Powerlessness creates despair. The word powerlessness means that I cannot do anything. But this is not the same as "can't do anything," because there are many things that I can't do even if I wanted to. For example, I cannot influence the weather, politics, headaches. I can do something about it indirectly, but not directly. Powerlessness means "not being able to do anything, but willing."

There are two reasons here: limiting circumstances or something related to me personally. When I give up excitement, desire, powerlessness also disappears. This opens up opportunities for work.

Where do we experience powerlessness? In relation to oneself. For example, I may feel powerless over an addiction, over a growing tumor, over insomnia, over migraine attacks. I may feel powerless in relationships with others: I cannot change the other person. But these relationships are important to me! And now they are more like a prison: I can’t change them, but I can’t leave them either - although I am constantly hurt, devalued.

I can feel powerless in a family where there are constant quarrels, tension and misunderstanding are growing. I have already tried everything, I said - and nothing changes. Of course, we also experience powerlessness in large communities: at school, in the army, in a company, in relation to the state - here the feeling “I can’t do anything” often appears, we get used to it.

We experience impotence both in relation to nature when floods, earthquakes occur, and in relation to economic processes, fashion changes

Powerlessness - when I am locked up: in an elevator, even worse - in a burning car. Then there is fear and panic - I feel like I am given to life to be torn to pieces. I am powerless in relation to depression. I am powerless when I feel alone, hurt, hurt, alienated. Or when my whole life seems meaningless to me. What should I do here?

Again look at the opposite pole - "I can". What does this mean? “I can”, like impotence, has a double structure: on the one hand, it depends on the circumstances, and on the other hand, on my strength and my abilities. Here the world and my own being come together. In "can" we are related to the circumstances, and therefore obstacles can arise from outside. For example, I got stuck in a traffic jam and could not arrive on time for a lecture.

But obstacles can also exist within. For example, I, unfortunately, cannot speak Russian. This makes me powerless, because I would really like to know Russian. Of course, I could learn it, thereby bringing myself out of a state of impotence. The answer to the question "can I?" depends on my strength and ability. They give me the power with which I can control my circumstances. If I have learned to drive a car, I can dispose of it.

The concept of "can" has a great existential meaning: it not only connects with the world, but also opens up space for "to be". In this space I can move.

The real "can" is always connected with "let go". If I can do something, then I can let it go

I can let the feelings exist so that I can deal with them. I have to be able to take breaks, breaks. This is necessary in situations where I don't know what to do. Letting go is the basic, fundamental “I can.” A desperate person cannot let go.

What is the problem with impotence?

  1. Powerlessness makes us passive, it paralyzes us. More precisely, it does not paralyze, but forces. We feel like something is forcing us to do nothing. It is where I could do something that I am forced to do nothing. Powerlessness is obsession, it is strength, it is power. It's like rape. I have to let go, but I don't want to - and that makes me a victim.

  2. Powerlessness takes away the basis of existence — action. In impotence, I can no longer create anything, be somewhere, live relationships, realize something important. In impotence, I no longer exist: my personality no longer develops, the meaning of my being is lost.

  3. Powerlessness takes away dignity. When I am a victim, I am deprived of dignity and worth. I watch from the side. Powerlessness is associated with despair. This combination gives despair the same structure as trauma. A severe injury, the experience of approaching death deprives a person of support. It loses ground, and values ​​lose their power. A person no longer knows what is important to him, does not see a larger system of relationships that he can trust.

Two causes of despair and impotence

  1. A person is too much focused on some goal , which he cannot refuse, leave, let go.

  2. There is no relationship with the deep structure of existence. This means that there is no sense of the value of life, a sense of one's own depth and one's own value as a Person. There is no longer a meaning that defines existence.

This analysis of the causes of despair and powerlessness provides a basis for help. Instead of continuing to convulsively hold on to what was valuable, I should say goodbye and let go. For example, in despair that the disease turned out to be fatal, it remains only to accept it. Say, "Yes, it is." And see what I can do with it now.

If we cannot let go, we are left in despair. Subsequently, you can work on feeling the deep structures of existence again. So that I can feel supported again. It is important to realize that death is a part of life. If I cannot die, then I will feel despair again.

What to do?

We can work with the themes of despair and powerlessness with the help of four basic structures of existence.

  1. If someone is experiencing despair, it is important to help them accept a situation that cannot be changed. Accept means "I can let it be." Such an attitude is possible only if I see a support, I understand that, in spite of everything, I can be myself.

  2. When it comes to hopelessness, sadness helps. Tears of sadness can reconnect us with life. Sometimes I experience despair, it seems to me that I myself ruined my life, and I cannot forgive myself for this. Then it is important to understand again who I am. Regret means looking at what I did and feeling how much it hurts me.

  3. If there is no way to change something, it is important to learn to live in new conditions. Ask yourself: what does this situation want from me? If I have cancer now, what does cancer want from me? How can I continue to live with this disease so that my life remains fulfilling? Yes, it will be a different life, but it may not be worse than the one where I was healthy. So I will find support again.

  4. It is important to look for something that allows you to experience inner harmony. When I am satisfied with what I am doing, a feeling of fullness will come into my life.

Books about despair, impotence and depression

1. Alfried Lenglet “Reaching out for life… An existential analysis of depression”

2. Daria Varlamova, Anton Zainiev “Go crazy! City Guide to Mental Disorders

3.

Learn more