Exercises to stop anxiety

6 Exercises for Relief and Relaxation

Overview

Most people experience anxiety at some point in their lives. These exercises may help you relax and find relief.

Anxiety is a typical human reaction to stress. But too much anxiety can get in the way of living a healthy, happy life. If you feel caught up in your anxiety, try one or a few of the following exercises anytime and anywhere to find relief. The goal is to perform exercises that can quickly help you relax.

Why anxiety exercises work
They address your body’s stress responses — such as increased heart rate, rapid breathing, and tense muscles — and help replace them with what your body feels when you’re relaxed.

When you’re feeling anxious, you might notice that your heart rate and breathing get a bit faster. You may also begin to sweat and feel dizzy or lightheaded. When you’re anxious, getting your breathing under control can relax both your body and mind.

To get your breathing under control when you’re anxious, follow these steps:

Sit in a quiet and comfortable place. Put one of your hands on your chest and the other on your stomach. Your stomach should move more than your chest when you breathe in deeply.
Take a slow and regular breath in through your nose. Watch and sense your hands as you breathe in. The hand on your chest should remain still while the hand on your stomach will move slightly.
Breathe out through your mouth slowly.
Repeat this process at least 10 times or until you begin to feel your anxiety lessen.

Online meditation options

Read our review of the best online meditation options to find the right fit for you.

Have you ever heard the “finding your happy place” expression? Painting a mental picture of a place that makes you feel relaxed can actually calm your brain and body.

When you start to feel anxious, sit in a quiet and comfortable place. Think of your ideal place to relax. While it can be any place in the world, real or imaginary, it should be an image that you find very calming, happy, peaceful, and safe. Make sure it’s easy enough to think about so you can return to it in your mind when you feel anxious in the future.

Think of all the small details you’d find if you were there. Think about how the place would smell, feel, and sound. Envision yourself in that place, enjoying it comfortably.

Once you have a good picture of your “happy place,” close your eyes and take slow and regular breaths through your nose and out of your mouth. Be aware of your breathing and continue focusing on the place you’ve imagined in your mind until you feel your anxiety lifting. Visit this place in your mind whenever you feel anxious.

When you feel anxious, you might notice strain or tension in your muscles. This muscle stress can make your anxiety more difficult to manage in the moment you’re experiencing it. By relieving the stress in your muscles, you can usually reduce your anxiety levels.

To quickly relieve your muscle tension during moments of anxiety:

Sit in a quiet and comfortable place. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Breathe slowly into your nose and out of your mouth.
Use your hand to make a tight fist. Squeeze your fist tightly.
Hold your squeezed fist for a few seconds. Notice all the tension you feel in your hand.
Slowly open your fingers and be aware of how you feel. You may notice a feeling of tension leaving your hand. Eventually, your hand will feel lighter and more relaxed.
Continue tensing and then releasing various muscle groups in your body, from your hands, legs, shoulders, or feet. You may want to work your way up and down your body tensing various muscle groups. Avoid tensing the muscles in any area of your body where you’re injured or in pain, as that may further aggravate your injury.

Counting is a simple way to ease your anxiety. When you feel anxiety washing over you, find a quiet and comfortable place to sit. Close your eyes and slowly count to 10. If necessary, repeat and count to 20 or an even higher number. Keep counting until you feel your anxiety subsiding.

Sometimes this relief occurs quickly, but other times it might take a while. Stay calm and patient. Counting can relax you because it gives you something to focus on besides your anxiety. It’s a great tool to use in a crowded or busy space like a store or train where other anxiety exercises might be more challenging to carry out.

Anxiety exercises take practice
Relaxation is a skill you learn. Much like physical exercise, it takes practice.
Choose an anxiety exercise and try it until you’re feeling less anxious.
If one exercise doesn’t work, try a different one.

Mindfulness is the practice of being present in your current state and surroundings, gently and without judgment. Staying present can help you create a calm state of mind when you feel your thoughts racing and anxiety building.

To bring yourself outside your thoughts into the present:

Find a quiet and comfortable place to sit and close your eyes.
Notice how your breathing and body feel.
Now shift your awareness to the sensations you observe in your surroundings. Ask yourself What’s happening outside of my body? Notice what you hear, smell, and feel in your environment.
Change your awareness several times from your body to your environment and back again until your anxiety starts to fade.

It can be hard to think clearly when you feel anxious. Sometimes anxious thinking can make us believe harmful thoughts that are untrue or make us do things that make our anxiety worse. It can be helpful to break or interrupt your anxious thoughts so you can think clearly and react appropriately to your thoughts.

Here’s how to break your anxious thought cycle:

Ask yourself whether endless worry is a problem for you. If the answer is yes, it’s good to be aware of that.
Try different ways of interrupting your anxious thought process, such as:
- Singing a silly song about your anxiety to an upbeat tempo, or speaking your anxieties in a funny voice.
- Choose a nice thought to focus on instead of your anxiety. This could be a person you love, your happy place, or even something you look forward to doing later that day, such as eating a nice dinner.
- Listen to music or read a book.
- Be conscious when you shift your attention from your anxiety to a task at hand and notice how you feel.

Do you feel worse?
Anxiety exercises may not work for everyone and may actually make symptoms worse for people who have a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). If you have GAD, consult your doctor for more effective treatment options.

Anxiety can intrude on thoughts and activities, and sometimes it’s hard to make anxiety go away. But know that it’s possible to get relief, even if you feel caught up in it. Next time you’re feeling anxious, give one of these anxiety exercises a try.

Also, check out the best apps for anxiety. From nature sounds to acupressure, these apps offer a variety of techniques. However, if your anxiety often interferes with your daily life, happiness, and activities, consider seeing a mental health expert for further help.

6 Exercises for Relief and Relaxation

Overview

Most people experience anxiety at some point in their lives. These exercises may help you relax and find relief.

Why anxiety exercises work
They address your body’s stress responses — such as increased heart rate, rapid breathing, and tense muscles — and help replace them with what your body feels when you’re relaxed.

To get your breathing under control when you’re anxious, follow these steps:

Sit in a quiet and comfortable place. Put one of your hands on your chest and the other on your stomach. Your stomach should move more than your chest when you breathe in deeply.
Take a slow and regular breath in through your nose. Watch and sense your hands as you breathe in. The hand on your chest should remain still while the hand on your stomach will move slightly.
Breathe out through your mouth slowly.
Repeat this process at least 10 times or until you begin to feel your anxiety lessen.

Online meditation options

Read our review of the best online meditation options to find the right fit for you.

Have you ever heard the “finding your happy place” expression? Painting a mental picture of a place that makes you feel relaxed can actually calm your brain and body.

Think of all the small details you’d find if you were there. Think about how the place would smell, feel, and sound. Envision yourself in that place, enjoying it comfortably.

To quickly relieve your muscle tension during moments of anxiety:

Sit in a quiet and comfortable place. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Breathe slowly into your nose and out of your mouth.
Use your hand to make a tight fist. Squeeze your fist tightly.
Hold your squeezed fist for a few seconds. Notice all the tension you feel in your hand.
Slowly open your fingers and be aware of how you feel. You may notice a feeling of tension leaving your hand. Eventually, your hand will feel lighter and more relaxed.

Continue tensing and then releasing various muscle groups in your body, from your hands, legs, shoulders, or feet. You may want to work your way up and down your body tensing various muscle groups. Avoid tensing the muscles in any area of your body where you’re injured or in pain, as that may further aggravate your injury.

Anxiety exercises take practice
Relaxation is a skill you learn. Much like physical exercise, it takes practice.
Choose an anxiety exercise and try it until you’re feeling less anxious.
If one exercise doesn’t work, try a different one.

To bring yourself outside your thoughts into the present:

Find a quiet and comfortable place to sit and close your eyes.
Notice how your breathing and body feel.
Now shift your awareness to the sensations you observe in your surroundings. Ask yourself What’s happening outside of my body? Notice what you hear, smell, and feel in your environment.
Change your awareness several times from your body to your environment and back again until your anxiety starts to fade.

Here’s how to break your anxious thought cycle:

Ask yourself whether endless worry is a problem for you. If the answer is yes, it’s good to be aware of that.
Try different ways of interrupting your anxious thought process, such as:
- Singing a silly song about your anxiety to an upbeat tempo, or speaking your anxieties in a funny voice.
- Choose a nice thought to focus on instead of your anxiety. This could be a person you love, your happy place, or even something you look forward to doing later that day, such as eating a nice dinner.
- Listen to music or read a book.
- Be conscious when you shift your attention from your anxiety to a task at hand and notice how you feel.

Do you feel worse?
Anxiety exercises may not work for everyone and may actually make symptoms worse for people who have a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). If you have GAD, consult your doctor for more effective treatment options.

How to get rid of anxiety anxiety? Techniques. Exercises., Psychology - Gestalt Club

Mostly I work with dependent forms of behavior. People with this problem are most prone to anxiety. Dependents and co-dependents are regularly in states of anxiety and anxiety. And the density of events in our life is such that a given a collection of techniques will be relevant to any person.

So let's go! Four elements "Fire - Earth - Water - Air". At each has its own universal energy. And unique - "reverse connection" to a person.

Technology . "Light the alarm - blue flame"

Fire
Describe your negative experience on a piece of paper. emotion, the state that you experience in the moment "here and now". What is it - anxiety, excitement, irritation ...? Invest into writing. There is an expression "paper will endure everything." Add a drawing. What does this feeling look like? In the form of what? Watch what will happen to your body at the time of writing and how will change the background. It often happens that already during writing, feelings of anxiety recede. Read what is written. Then burn with the words: - "Alarm on - blue flame"

Tool. "I tear the template - steps".

Earth.
Often I recommend this simple tool co-dependent .
When communication or silence with an addict at home created a constant feeling of anxiety. Rip this sample. Walk for 30-40 minutes. Let through the legs part of the anxiety "fall into the ground" And if you set a vector for your walk, then your thoughts will be switched to the destination in this walk. As you leave the house, say to yourself:

"- I break the pattern of anxiety - with my own steps."

Tool. "Juice of Life"

Earth".
Leonardo da Vinci.

Water .
1. Imagine that all the anxiety and worry has accumulated in you on hands. Slowly lather your hands, thinking as you dissolve and wash away those feelings. Put your hands under the water and watch how together with soap, negative experiences are washed off your hands.

Add an affirmation - "Water is the juice of life - everything washes away".

2. A wonderful item for any person, it is simply doesn't come to mind at the right time. Take a bath of hot water - lie down 30 min. She will do her own thing. And the bath turns this tool into a universal ritual, where a person is completely cleared. Newborns come out of the bath, without worries and anxiety.
3. Negative excitement as at dependent and at codependents are accompanied by looped internal dialogue, which only adds to the anxiety. Knock down this anxiety with a cold shower, saying:

- "Water is the juice of life - everything washes away"
4. Drink a glass of water in 10 small sips, while count them.

5. Hot drink. Tea, cappuccino, chocolate, coffee with milk. Drink it slowly. Hold the cup so that it warms your palms.

Exercise. "Breath - Freedom"

Access any of these exercises through the affirmation:

- "The air I breathe is filled with love."

Air.
1. Breathing exercises. Abdominal breathing. Exhale-pause mentally say "I am calm." Inhale-Pause. (repeat 10-15 times)
2. Breathing exercise "Yawn". Breathe in slowly through your mouth (it's better to open it like a yawn), watch it fill lungs completely, then exhale with the sound: woo. (5-10 times)
3. Wavy breathing, in which the breath begins from the stomach, then continues with the chest and ends with the collarbones. Exhalation happens in the opposite direction.
4. Stand up straight. Slowly raise your arms up to the sides taking a deep breath and say: "I am above all this." Stretch with your back and palms up. Close your hands and lower your arms in this position as you exhale. Pause. (5-7 times)

Tool. "Dig up anxiety - physical education.

I recommend this tool dependent . States of craving for substances, routine for a convalescent. To this attraction Feelings of unease and anxiety are firmly attached. The task is to give body physical activity. 2 sets of 25-30 squats. 2-3 sets of 10-15 push-ups. Great if there is a pear 10-15 min. work on it will be enough to shake your body and update your general condition. Anxiety - retreat, verified!

An example of this is a case from my practice. Call:

Client: "- I want to use. I tried everything, helps. Ready to break. I'm suffocating with anxiety"
Me: (Surprised) - How did you try everything? Is there a shovel at home? Flowerbed or garden? Pause. .. silence...
He: - Yes, there is.
Me: - Dig up two acres of land and call me back.

On the second day of silence, I began to blame myself for such unprofessionalism, and
look for excuses. His mother interrupted me by calling, and prayerfully thanks.
legs collapsed to sleep. He is sober for 3 years. And we remember with a smile is overcoming cravings and anxiety."

The Gratitude Technique

equal. Thank.

First, thank life itself. Then the feeling itself anxiety or anxiety, it tells you something, directs you. Remember significant events and people - thank you. If dependent the centers teach this skill, and they know the power of gratitude, then it is difficult for their relatives to find the object of the message. Call your son/husband simply thank you for the fact that you have someone to worry about today.

List in this thank you the values that you bind. Watch your body as anxiety subsides and you I want to continue to give-good to the closest. give thanks stranger. the universe. Feel your own gratitude to yourself that you are not idle. Fasten persuasion:

- I am grateful for the "here and now" moment! I know it's early or it's too late.

Exercise. "Pleasant to myself"

Codependent . Remember psychologist Susanna with her auto-training "The most charming and attractive"? So, the task of this exercise will be be self-motivated. Two things are important here - the belief that pronounce, and direction. And each phrase should become sensation:

"I'm on my way to getting rid of my anxiety. I'm confident on that way! I love myself not just like that, but for my actions!
I'm the best, because that's me! I go to the mirror - and I see merit! I am grateful to myself for what I try! I I will continue to learn to manage my condition! My anxiety teaches me something - and I'm a great student! I want and I will strive to live without anxiety in the body.

These are not just words. Your subconscious gratefully "folds on the shelf" these self-suggestion. Rest assured, they are sure are activated if you practice this exercise. (make up your own affirmation)

Technology. "Thought image - changing life"

Dependent / Codependent. B - NLP there is such a thing as an "anchor", All the bright moments of our life anchor in sensory-obvious experience. And it is possible for a person to extract them from this experience, and activate by living the same feelings and emotions. The task of these techniques is to get them with the help of visualization just when when you are overwhelmed with anxiety or anxiety.

1. Imagine yourself on the seashore, or on the river - on the beach, or floating in the water. As you slowly walk through the warm sand, or lie on your back in the cool sea.
How you hear the sound of waves and the cry of seagulls. Feel the light breeze of the wind. Smell the salty water, or the pine forest near the river. take a walk along this familiar shore in your imagination, as much as see fit. It’s great if the images are restored not only events, but will also allow you to live the same states in this visualization. Anxiety will recede, believe me!

2. Remember your best day, in detail, in detail. It can be a wedding, returning from the army, graduation or awards. This may be the day with the most important achievement in your life. life. Watch it like a movie. Enter the state that left behind this bright day with its events. You will feel like experience it again, and again... The anxiety in these images recedes. Believe! Add autosuggestion:

- It was the happiest day of my life!
-I will create conditions to live such contentment - more many times!

Tool. "Here and now".

Say out loud the names of the objects that you surround right now. Naming their color, shape, sizes:

"I see a small table, I see a big red cat..." 1-2 minutes.

Then close your eyes and say the names of the sounds you hear at this moment

"I hear the announcer talking on the TV, I hear how the kettle..." 1-2 minutes.

Then listen to your bodily sensations: a chill from the air conditioner goes through the body ...

5 minutes are allotted for this practice. Often for this for a short time it turns out to realize the moment - "here and now", and there is a feeling that something is missing. Describe without delay their feelings, thoughts, states. Write continuously 10 minutes.

This beautiful element gives you a holistic awareness that it happens to you directly - "Now". For all equipment you will spend 15 minutes.

Choose the technique that best suits you. Find "your" work.
Remember! What if nothing changes, nothing change.
Live without worries - cherish the moment "here and now"...!

I would be grateful if you click "Thank you" after reading, leave a review or comment. By subscribing you will not miss the most interesting...

Tags: love, co-dependence, relationships, dependent relationships inner child, self-discovery, existential crises, anxiety, soul, the way to oneselfPsychological practices-exercisesmotivationWork with alcohol addiction. Author's strategies. addiction, drugs, weed, marijuana

3 exercises that will help you worry less about the opinions of others

March 14 Books

An excerpt from Mandy Holgate's book "Conquer Your Fear" will tell you how not to worry about what others think of you and live in peace.

Mandy Holgate

Author, trainer, public speaker, business coach. Knows everything about human fears.

We all happen to experience fear of the opinions of others. Sometimes it is harmless, but sometimes it paves the way for consequences that are detrimental to your ability to succeed at work. Below are three exercises that will help get rid of it.

Exercise 1. The Power of Goals

The first exercise that I offer you can change your life forever. And here I am not exaggerating, but relying on the experience of the people with whom I worked. <…>

Have you ever seen a person in a crowd, thought “Here is my other half” and didn't notice anyone else? Or that you only pay attention to one car on the road, because that's what you've always dreamed of? Each of us is able to focus on the ultimate goal so much that everything else disappears from view, even other people's thoughts.

It's good to set goals so clear and precise that you feel like you've already achieved them.

Let's see how it's done. Here you can recall SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, real and time-bound), but the matter is not limited to these parameters.

To prevent anything from getting off your chosen path or slowing you down, here's what you need to do:

1. Make sure that your goal is aligned with your core values.

2. Write down everything you can do to achieve this goal. And here's the secret: don't think about time, lack of skills or funds, external circumstances, that you don't know this movie star, or that unicorns don't exist. Do not limit your imagination, write down everything, even the craziest thoughts.

When you give full freedom to your creative thinking, your mind gets the opportunity to extract from the depths of the subconscious those ideas that are hidden there.

While you've been worrying about what others think of you, your brain hasn't had time to look for smart or creative solutions that can help you achieve what you want. This exercise will unload your mind.

So, if you are constantly worried about what such and such a colleague thinks of you, write down now on paper what you want to achieve, and not what you want to think about this person. This is an internal goal, not an external one. Is your colleague present in this picture? Maybe he will be under your control? If yes, how and when? And if it is not directly related to your goal, then you do not need to include it in a detailed list of what will help you achieve this goal.

3. When you have a long list of things you could do, take another sheet and continue it. The longer you write, the deeper you go into this exercise, the more ideas you have and the more powerful they are. At first, you wrote down what was spinning in your head for a long time and did not let you fall asleep. To come up with effective ideas, you first need to deal with stupid and absurd ones.

Reasonable ideas are born from crazy ideas.

Of course, talking about magical unicorns or fantasizing about how you blow up all the phones so that it finally becomes quiet is crazy. But from crazy ideas, reasonable ones are born. You are unlikely to break phones in the office, but you can bring noise-canceling headphones to work or arrive early while no one else is there, or turn off the sound on your phone. See why it's so important to keep the list going? It might not be easy. But don't give up. If you don't feel like imagining things, here are a few tips to get you creative:

“I can quit my job and start my own business. True, I will need a capital of several million (I will have it by magic) to recruit five of the best specialists in the industry (they will be brainwashed into agreeing to work for me), and I will also, by magic, become the best negotiator in the world and secure the best contracts for us.” (Totally crazy plan, but keep developing it: crazy ideas unleash creative thinking.)
“I can become the world's first independent specialist in this field. True, this has never happened in our industry, but I will magically change everything.” (Many industries have changed dramatically because someone looked at the situation and asked, “Well, why is that?” Let your creative mind ask the same question.)

4. big list, re-read your crazy ideas. Which of them intuitively attract you? (For now, don't let the rational part of your mind that says, "That's impossible.") get the upper hand. Everything is changing. Keep this in mind, because when we make assumptions about what others think, it can affect our actions.

When we formulate clear goals that come from within rather than relying on someone else's opinion, we can focus on them.

Choose from the list the most interesting ideas, but no more than three. An overabundance of goals is no better than an overabundance of thoughts: we stop acting because we don’t know what to grab onto.

5. Figure out what to do to achieve each goal. Do not discard crazy ideas, they just might draw realistic solutions from the depths of your subconscious.

6. Which of these actions will you take?

7. The main problem with most goals is your unreasonable assumptions. What did you come up with in advance about this goal? Do you assume that at work you are only required to be on time and fulfill your duties, and not make fresh proposals? “How can a boss be interested in my idea, which will save the company 15% of recruitment costs?”

You assume that the great inspirational business speaker you're listening to doesn't need an accountant, so you won't go up to him after the talk and tell him how you could help him (tell, not "sell" yourself - in the 21st century that's not how things are done!). You assume that in the look of a person who does not take his eyes off you at the event, anger and hatred. Or maybe he is jealous of your success and wants to know how you succeed. “What works? I can’t do anything, that’s why I’m looking at you!”

8. Assumptions are a big barrier to success. Remember the simple rule: if you don't know for sure, don't assume. What anyone thinks is not your concern. You have something to focus on - your goals at work.

9. Be focused. If you have formulated a specific goal and action plan, work consistently and productively towards them, and fight against unreasonable assumptions that cause you to procrastinate, distract from positive thoughts and lose motivation, then it will not be difficult to focus.

However, any successful person will tell you that on the way to success you cannot avoid stress and failure. How will you maintain your focus? Where do you have a reserve of positive for a rainy day? To stay focused on your goal, think of people, places, words, and activities that will set you up for the positive.

Exercise 2. Cloud Game

This exercise is very helpful when you are overly concerned about what others think: it will remind you that others are just as preoccupied with their thoughts as you are.

I'll prove it now. I have coached and given speeches many times about the fear of public speaking and how to overcome it. And there is nothing worse than events for business contacts. In a room full of specialists, I point to the person who is sitting farthest from me on the left side, and say: "That's who is now the most frightened of all those present." And everyone laughs.

Then I explain: if at the training about speaking in front of the public you say that now everyone will try their hand at blitz reports, and you will start on the right side, then the person who sits last on the left thinks: “Oh no, before me the turn will come at the very end!

I read somewhere that we would rather lie in a coffin than give a speech at a funeral, can you imagine?

In essence, this means that he will not hear anyone speak: for at least half an hour he will worry and think about how to speak. How do I know this? From my own experience! And in the audience they always laugh, because everyone knows this. And when I ask the audience: “What do you think about when you are sitting in the hall, and not speaking from the stage?” - they answer me:

“I'm glad I don't have to perform”;
"I would never have succeeded";
“If the microphone starts to be carried around the hall, I will pretend that they are calling me and go out”;
“I have a mess in my head, because soon it will be my turn to perform.”

Now the same goes for worrying about what others think of you. When you need to express your opinion, and your head is spinning: “Everyone thinks I’m talking nonsense”, “They are looking at a pimple on my nose”, “Surely they are wondering why they asked me to speak, and not such and such ”, - in fact, everyone thinks: “Oh, it’s good that I don’t have to perform from the stage!”

The next time you feel this fear, play the Cloud Game. Imagine that each listener has a cloud of thoughts above his head, like in comics. What will you read there? Forgive me if I dispel your fantasies, but everyone thinks about himself and his own problems: you are not important enough to think about you all day! So what will be written in the clouds?

“I wonder what they will serve at the coffee break?”
"I don't think I closed the window."
“Did I turn off the sound on my phone or did I forget it? Suddenly, now it will ring - it will be inconvenient.
“I think my tights are gone. How would you discreetly check whether you have gone or not gone until you have to get up?
“Oh, I think it's Mr. Smith. They say he has a vacancy in the department. It will be necessary to approach him and clarify, if only to wait until the report is over.
“So how do speakers manage to stay on stage so calmly and confidently? I feel uncomfortable in the hall, it seems that everyone is looking at me.

Exercise 3. Check out, shout out, throw out

One last thing, if you're worried about someone else's opinion, there will be times when you have to react to it. Not all thoughts of others can be ignored. Perhaps your instincts tell you that you are really being discussed behind your back, and this does not have the best effect on your results at work. Here is the last exercise for you - it is called "Check out, shout out, throw it out."

I love reading about great people like Mohandas Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Winston Churchill. And it saddens me that so many share their quotes on social networks, but do not know anything about their actions. All great events in history are the result of actions, not words. Yes, great people have thoughts in the beginning, but what really matters is their actions. And it was their actions, not what they said, that changed history. This is important to remember for the exercise "Check out, shout out, throw it out."

What do you think people say about you behind your back?
How does this affect you?
How does this affect your success?
It is not necessary (yet) to call the gossip to a frank conversation.
Take a sheet of paper and write down everything without exception that comes to your mind when you think about the consequences of how you are thought of. Write down how you think it affects your life, your success, your future.
Now let yourself get really angry about this: “How dare he!”, “How dare he harm my success!”, “How dare he interfere with my life aspirations with his paws! It's disgusting, it's disgusting, it's outrageous!"

Feeling better? Or do you still feel that you are offended and not respected? There are two scenarios here.

1. You realize that you are in complete control of what goes on in your head, and this is completely independent of what goes on in that person's head. This means you can focus on your career and goals and no longer be overreacting to other people's opinions. Now you can tear up and throw away everything that you wrote about your experiences because of someone else's opinion: these are not your thoughts. These are the thoughts of another person who has his own experience, his own life, his own talents and his own values. How can it affect your goals in life?

2. You feel that the risk has not gone away: this person can really interfere with your success at work. This is one of those rare times when you have to challenge the opinions of others, and not just in your own head; perhaps it is worth calling a person to a frank conversation, no matter how frightening this prospect is. One way or another, you will end the unpleasant situation, and you will be able to focus on your goals.

A frank conversation will defuse the atmosphere and understand each other's point of view. Think over what you will say to the interlocutor, calmly, clearly and without unnecessary emotions, how you will convey your position to him.

I watched how, after a frank conversation, the gossip, offended and hurt, began to dirty tricks on the sly (however, this did not lead to anything: his rival now leads a team of more than 45 people, including the unlucky gossip). I watched as anxiety about someone else's opinion instantly evaporated, because it turned out that the reason was a misunderstanding. I watched how the former rivals worked out great in the end, because they turned out to have a lot in common.

Of course, it's scary to think about, but the path to success at work is not without difficulties when you really need to raise the stakes in the game and act, despite fear.

Here, as elsewhere, the key to moving forward is three conditions: a specific goal, healthy self-confidence and faith in your success.

Now you can tear up and throw away everything that you wrote about your experiences because of someone else's opinion: these are not your thoughts. These are the thoughts of another person who has his own experience, his own life, his own talents and his own values. So how can it affect your goals in life? Why would he allow it? Forward, to success in work!

To read about other common human fears and how to deal with them, see Mandy Holgate's Conquer Your Fear.

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