Examples of lying for a good cause

People Don’t Mind Lying If They Think It’s For A Good Cause -- Science of Us

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There are lies, and then there are white lies, the gentle untruths we use to, say, spare the feelings of a friend who’s just asked how her new haircut looks. (I love it! Honestly!) But it seems there is a third, often overlooked category of deception: “blue lies,” a term recently highlighted by Scientific American. Psychology researchers use it to describe “lying in the name of the collective good,” and understanding this form of deceit can help us better navigate this weird new world of alternative facts, where it seems like people in power can lie, and it doesn’t matter.

In a recent column for the Toronto Star, for example, writer Daniel Dale quotes a Trump supporter named James Cassidy, who understands — but does not care — that the president was not telling the truth in a series of Saturday-morning tweets earlier this month about former president Barack Obama “wire tapping” Trump Tower. “He’s ruffling every feather in Washington that he can ruffle,” Cassidy told Dale. “These guys are scrambling. So: yeah! I like it. I think it’s a good thing. I want to see them jump around a little bit.”

We tell blue lies, or we tacitly accept them, when we want to advance our own group — whether that’s our political party or favorite sports team — at the expense of another. At work, for instance, you might lie to your angry boss on behalf of a colleague in order to save your department’s reputation. Or a basketball player might help cover up a cheater, to give their team an advantage. Where white lies draw people together, their blue cousin pulls together people in the same group, while at the same time driving others away, according to the research. (The reason they’re called blue lies, by the way, is because there’s a common belief that police officers, dressed in their blue uniforms, may sometimes lie to protect their own force. Make of that what you will.)

One thing to know: Blue lies are everywhere, University of Toronto psychologist Kang Lee told Science of Us. Lee co-authored a 2008 study published in the journal Developmental Science, which argued that blue lies are “pervasive” in the adult world, particularly across sports, business, and politics. For instance, undercover intelligence officials might lie, but they’d do so for the sake of a nation’s national security. As children, we grow up hearing about this kind of deceit in stories, writer Jeremy Adam Smith explains in Scientific American:

Around the world, children grow up hearing stories of heroes who engage in deception and violence on behalf of their in-groups. In Star Wars, for example, Princess Leia lies about the location of the “secret rebel base.” In the Harry Potter novels (spoiler alert!), the entire life of double-agent Severus Snape is a lie, albeit a “blue” one, in the service of something bigger than himself.

But they’ve also been used throughout history to undermine enemy groups, by fomenting an “us versus them” mentality. As Smith writes, it’s not necessary that members of a group believe the lies. In the case of Trump, Lee argues that the plausibility of his untruths — from his claims that he won the popular vote to the wiretapping accusations — just doesn’t really matter. The reason Trump gets away with them, Lee explained, is because they’re targeted at his supporters’ opponents, such as Obama and the Democrats. “A lot of people love these lies,” Lee said. “They know they’re not true, but they think, Let’s just have fun with it — yes, it’s a lie but it makes the Democrats look bad, so I’m okay with it.” And the more threatened a group feels, the more accepting it tends to be of blue lies. “Because when you feel your group is under threat, you feel you have to resort to any means necessary,” Lee explained. “The more you feel under threat, the more you want to put others down, the more likely you are to use blue lies.”

It’s important to remember that this is true regardless of your political leaning. As one study recently suggested, when people are deciding how much to trust a news story, they place more weight on who shared it on social media than the media outlet it originated from. Group identity matters, to put it mildly. But Smith suggests one way to push back against the lure of blue lies. “[T] most important and difficult thing we can do right now,” he writes, “… is to put some critical distance between us and our groups—and so lessen the pressure to go along with the herd.” Not an easy thing to do, but an important one.

People Don’t Mind Lying If They Think It’s for a Good Cause

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Examples of Lying: White Lies and Beyond

What is a lie? Lying means being dishonest or not telling the truth. There are many examples of lying that occur every day. Some lies are harmless lies considered "white lies," while others can be very hurtful and harmful. Discover 60+ lying examples, including both white lies examples and other, more serious, types of lies.

white lie example store bought cookies as homemade

60+ Common White Lies

Some of the most common examples of lying occur when people tell a lie in order to be nice or to spare someone's feelings. These are called "white lies." Are you wondering, "What is a white lie?" These are trivial untruths that are told out of kindness rather than to deceive or to be malicious. There are many white lies examples in everyday life situations.

White Lies to Friends and Relatives

Since people spend so much time interacting with friends and relatives, it's not surprising that they're often the recipients of white lies.

You tell your mother that her meatloaf is delicious when you really hate the meatloaf.
You tell your friend that she doesn't look fat in her dress when she asks because you don't want to tell her that she's gained a lot of weight and looks heavy.
You make a claim to your parents that you already took out the trash so you won't get in trouble, then rush to actually do so before anyone gets home.
You laugh at a family member's super-corny jokes even though they really just make you want to groan and roll your eyes.
You indicate to a friend that you'll call them back later even though you don't really intend to do so because you already have other plans.
You tell your friend that you really like her new house when you actually think it is very small and cramped because you don't want to dampen her excitement.
You claim that you never saw a text that a friend or family member sent you even though it is showing in the list of unread messages on your mobile device.
You tell your sister that her new baby is really cute when the baby actually isn't very cute at all. She thinks the baby is beautiful, and that's what matters.
You let your siblings think you've already ordered mom's birthday gift from all of you, then quickly order and pay extra for overnight delivery so they won't find out.
You tell your brother that you love the gift he got you for Christmas because you know that he put a lot of thought into picking it out for you, even though you actually really hate the gift.
You reassure your best friend that the guy she has a crush on is super-cute even though you don't actually find him attractive.
You pretend that you can't find a sweater your friend wants to borrow because she ruined the last clothing item you shared with her.
You let your friends think that you have a brand new outfit even though you actually snagged it on the cheap from a thrift store.
You tell your friends that you don't feel like going to the school dance so they won't feel bad for you because you don't have a date.
You express excitement that your friend got the lead in the school play even though you were secretly hoping you'd get the role.

Examples of White Lies in Relationships

White lies also find their way into conversations with dating partners, spouses or even potential relationship partners.

You tell your husband that his new haircut looks really good because you don't want to hurt his feelings by telling him that you hate the haircut.
You respond to someone who invites you on a first date by saying that you have to work late even though you really already have a date with someone else.
You gloss over the reasons that you and your last significant other broke up when a new prospect asks on a first date because you're not yet comfortable with that level of sharing.
You assure your girlfriend that you truly love spending evenings out with her friends even though a few of them really get on your nerves.
You tell your boyfriend that the dinner he prepared is delicious, even though you don't like the taste at all. After all, you want him to keep cooking for you!
You pretend to love baseball because your significant other is so excited to have won free tickets to go to a local game.
You tell your girlfriend that you love her outfit even though you really think she'd look just as lovely in jeans and a t-shirt.
You let your significant other believe that you share their enthusiasm for a television show or movie so that you'll have an excuse to spend screen time together.
You allow your significant other to think that you baked a dessert that he or she really likes even though you purchased it from a bakery.
You let a dating prospect think you're a bit older or younger than you really are because you think that might impact whether they're interested.
You claim that you're completely over your ex even though you are still feeling quite brokenhearted.
You act disappointed when your significant other cancels a date even though you're kind of excited to have an evening in with no specific plans.
You tell a casual date that a message you received while out at dinner was from a family member even though it was from someone else who asked you out.
You say thank you to a casual date for bringing you a flower bouquet without pointing out that you're actually allergic to one of the flowers in the bouquet.
You tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that your friends think they're awesome even if that isn't an entirely accurate statement to make.

White Lies Related to Work or School

People spend quite a bit of time working and going to school, so white lies often enter into situations related to these settings.

You compliment a coworker on his new hairstyle even though you actually thought it looked better before to avoid making him feel self-conscious.
You tell your boss that you are happy to work over the weekend when you are really feeling very resentful because you don't want to upset the boss.
You say thank you to a coworker who cleaned up a stack of papers you left in the conference room even though you intentionally left them where they were for a reason.
You compliment the dish your boss brought to the company potluck even though you don't actually like it.
You express appreciation to a coworker who brought you a birthday cake even though you are on a diet and cannot eat baked goods at the moment.
You thank a coworker for their assistance with a project even if their contributions weren't particularly helpful.
You tell your boss that you're thrilled to have been asked to join the safety committee even though it's not your idea of the ideal assignment.
You tell the information technology team that you can't find where you saved your password even though you really didn't even keep a record of it.
You claim that you washed your coffee cup even though you didn't when a memo goes around telling everyone to clean up after themselves in the kitchen.
You tell a coworker that you didn't use any of her personal coffee creamer from the refrigerator even though you did actually take a little bit last week.
You claim that you don't know who put a suggestion in the anonymous box asking for assigned parking spaces even though you're the one who did it.
You pretend that you are putting the finishing touches on a project when it's time to sing happy birthday to a coworker just so you don't have to participate.
You claim that you left your physical education clothes at home so you don't have to participate.
You falsely tell a classmate or coworker that you forgot your lunch because you're hoping she'll share the yummy food that she brought with you.
You tell a classmate you were feeling too sick to take notes in class so he'll let you copy his, even though you were really just daydreaming.

More White Lies in Daily Interactions

These white lies are all pretty harmless, and they are told in order to spare the feelings of someone that you care about or want to avoid offending. While there are some people who argue that you should never lie under any circumstances, the world would not necessarily be a very nice or very happy place if people told the truth all the time.

You tell a nosy supermarket clerk who wants to know if you're having a party that you are, even though you're not. That way, the clerk won't know you plan to eat all that ice cream yourself.
You exaggerate the amount of time you've been waiting on hold to chat with a customer service representative to make a point of how dissatisfied you are.
You tell a political candidate who knocks on you're door that you're planning to vote for them even though you have no idea who they are.
You inform a telephone solicitor that you are dealing with an urgent situation in order to get out of listening to their sales pitch.
You tell the bank teller at the drive-through that you don't have a pen so she'll send one over and you don't have to rummage through your handbag.
You claim that a purchase you are returning was a gift so that a store employee won't hassle you about why you don't have a receipt.
You tell the person taking your food order that you're ordering for two people even though the food is really all for you.
You pretend that you never got notified of social media connection requests from people you don't know very well because you'd prefer not to connect.
You tell your overly chatty neighbor that you're working on a deadline to avoid getting into a long conversation at the fence line.
You say that you haven't received a letter or other piece of mail when you are fully aware that there is a month's work of unopened mail on your desk.
When asked to join a committee that you don't want to participate in, you untruthfully claim that you are already volunteering on another project during the same timeframe.
You tell the nurse at your doctor's office that your shoes weigh three pounds so she'll think you weigh less than the scale says.
When ordering a prescription from the pharmacy, you say you'll get it within the hour even though you know it'll be later than that, just so you can be sure you're order is ready when you arrive.
You tell the trainer at the gym that you walk laps every day when you really just walk around the house a few times every day as you do your chores.
You assert to neighborhood kids who try to sell you fundraising items that you have already purchased from other kids in the neighborhood even if you really haven't.

Other Types of Lies

Not all lies are essentially harmless white lies. Unfortunately, there are also some other lies that are much more harmful than little white lies. These are lies intended to be malicious, to deceive or to get something to which you are not entitled. Some examples of these types of lies include the following:

You tell your spouse that you did not have an affair when you have actually been seeing someone else outside of the marriage for a long time.
You steal your friend's iPad and then tell him you haven't seen it and have no idea where it is.
You take credit for the work done by someone else in order to make yourself look good, lying to your boss and claiming the work for yourself.
You refuse to admit that you shoplifted an item and instead say that you watched someone else take it.
You lie about your financial assets in a divorce, saying you actually have much less money than you do, in order to avoid giving your spouse his or her share of the marital assets that you both own.
You tell lies as a politician in order to gain votes when you have no actual intention of doing what you promised the people that you were going to do.

These types of lies can all be very harmful. A famous story illustrates the danger of lying. The story is of the little boy who cried wolf. The boy, over and over, sent the alert that a wolf was coming. Eventually, when a wolf really did come, no one believed him because he had lied too many times before.

Ethical Implications of Lying Examples

Now that you have reviewed some white lies examples as well as a few more serious lies, consider the impact of being untruthful from an ethical perspective. Start by reviewing some ethical dilemmas. Then, consider some examples of integrity. Finally, consider the difference between ethics, morals and values. Once you are familiar with these concepts, you'll be better prepared to understand the implications of being less than truthful, even if the falsehoods are just white lies.

Staff Writer

5 situations in which it is even necessary to lie

Everyone lies. Lying is as commonplace as cereal and milk for breakfast or a condescending smile in response to a friend's unfunny joke. The difference is only in the approach to lying. For some, this is a forced necessity, but for someone it is a completely acceptable means of achieving goals. It doesn't matter which of these groups you belong to. Since childhood, most of us tirelessly, tediously repeat that it’s not good to lie. However, they often keep silent about the fact that there is a lie for good.

But these same people are silent about one important detail:. Not only do they themselves most likely periodically deceive, lie, or simply remain silent, they also lie at the very moment when they try to teach you. Lying is not good, but sometimes you have to. We do not live in a utopia, but in a real world that is not divided into black and white. In addition to them, there is also the color of the thigh of a frightened nymph, a toad in love, or even a mushroom. Examples of colors simply confirm that any phenomenon can be considered from different angles. And also named differently and condemned. So is lying: while in most cases it is not the most optimal tactic, in some cases it is indispensable. After all, lying is really bad, and lies are best left for dessert.

Situations in which concealment or distortion of the truth is considered necessary can be divided into 2 groups, based on the consequences:

There are no consequences or they are insignificant.
The consequences of lying are more pleasant than the consequences of telling the truth.

When does a lie for good take place?

1. Lie so as not to hurt feelings.

The most common example is communication with a patient. Unfortunately, ethical questions such as “should you tell a person that he will die soon” often lead to an unequivocal answer - no. However, “the feelings of the patient should be spared, he is already feeling bad,” etc. All of these are not the strongest arguments in favor of lying. To tell a person that he will soon get better is to take away from him the last opportunity to change something in life. Lies are allowed here only in one case: the patient initially asked to hide the truth. In other cases, it would be better to tell the truth, having previously prepared both the patient and your speech.

Fortunately, serious illnesses are not something that we encounter on a daily basis. What can not be said about the usual communication with others when we are faced with the need to share our opinion. This includes polite compliments, answers to the same polite and meaningless questions. In other words, a drop of lies is an important element of phatic communication (communication for the sake of communication, chatter). When asked how we are doing, we are used to answering that everything is fine. Let it be petty, but isn't this a lie for good?

2. Communication with parents.

It is possible to lie to the main people on the planet only if the truth hurts them more than its concealment. A person who is shivering from not having a hat on your head is unlikely to be able to sleep peacefully, knowing about your blockages at work, retakes at the university and a string of failed relationships. For psychological help, there are people specially trained for this, for emotional discussions (or condemnations) there are friends. Parents are made to take care of them. However, there is an important exception: until the age of majority, the responsibility for you lies with the guardians. So they need to be aware of all the important events happening to you.

Of course, if you are already an adult with adult problems and sometimes you are drawn to hug such a warm and beloved person tightly, complain to him about all the harm and feel small again - do it.

3. Communication with children.

This does not mean that, starting with the fairy tale about Santa Claus, one should go all out. Lies for the benefit and features of communication with children are determined by their level of development and perception of information. Large amounts of information, not necessarily the most complex, can not only not be assimilated, but also confuse the child. There is nothing wrong with simplifying the picture of the world for the smallest. As they grow older, they will learn to take in all the necessary information (with your help, which is why it is so important not to overdo it with lies). A similar principle is followed by the compilers of school textbooks. Basic rules are given for juniors, but over time, these rules become overgrown with more and more exceptions.

4. Surprises.

This item should be no problem. You are preparing a surprise that its lucky owner should not find out ahead of time. If you prepare properly, there should be no reason to lie. Most likely, you will have to limit yourself to creating a mysterious atmosphere. If you have been declassified and are standing with your hands up, convulsively blushing, well, good luck with writing excuses. Just in case, it makes sense to come up with them in advance.

5. If you keep someone else's secret.

Perhaps one of the most important points that justifies lying for good. The fate of someone else's secret can only be decided by the one with whom it is directly connected. Even if this secret partially belongs to you, it cannot be disclosed without the consent of the other participants. No one likes gossips and those with too long tongues, and it’s more pleasant to respect yourself if you follow simple life hacks when communicating with others.

There are not so many situations in which it is necessary to lie, but they do exist. Choosing between truth and lies, you should rely on your internal guidelines. Being honest with yourself is just as important as being honest with others. In addition, we must not forget about one old rule: everything secret becomes clear. Therefore, before lying about something, it is better to consider whether lying is really necessary in this situation.

Text: Flytothesky. ru

Read also:
Why even the most innocent lie undermines your relationship

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Lies for good: examples and arguments from the literature

Lies are usually perceived as a negative phenomenon. From an early age, they try to explain to children that it is impossible to lie, no matter what the circumstances. But in real life, good and evil, truth and fiction are inseparable from each other. There is a concept that is commonly called a lie for good. Examples from the literature allow us to study this philosophical question.

White lies

Scientists have proven that an ordinary person can lie 10 to 200 times a day . Most of the time this happens unintentionally. Sometimes false information is given out of fear of punishment. For example, a student rips out a page with a bad grade from his diary so that his parents do not scold him.

It is even worse when lies are used for selfish purposes. People give false data to improve their position or slander another person. Lies have negative consequences, so it is customary to refer to them as negative phenomena.

But sometimes there are exceptional situations in which the truth can harm a loved one. For example, parents do not tell their child about their problems, so as not to hurt the child's psyche. Such an action is quite logical, therefore the phenomenon is called a lie for good. An essay-reasoning on this topic is often given to high school students. The essay allows you to analyze examples of deception from your own life. Deceit can be justified in several cases:

to improve the mood of a person who finds himself in a difficult life situation,
for the safety of others,
to avoid hurting the feelings of a close relative or friend.

For example, a person suffering from a serious illness should not be told bad news if it could make them feel worse. The flight crew prefers not to tell passengers about minor equipment problems, so as not to cause panic in the cabin.

Examples from the literature

The good lie argument proves that honesty can be cruel and even dangerous in some situations. The classics of Russian literature often raised the problem of confrontation between truth and deceit in their works.

Gorky's socio-philosophical play

The confrontation between truth and lies is most vividly demonstrated in the work "At the Bottom" by Maxim Gorky. The action takes place in a rooming house where people who have sunk to the very “bottom of society” live:

thief,
prostitute,
former aristocrat,
drunken actor.

The author shows 2 different points of view. For example, Satin says that truth is the only force that can change a person's life. The Wanderer Luke, on the other hand, preaches a comforting lie.

Luka tells the terminally ill Anna about a happy life after death. He describes amazing hospitals for alcoholics to the actor, and advises the thief Vasily to go to work in Siberia. The Wanderer uses lies as a tool to inspire and change lives. The hero disappears as suddenly as he appears. Residents are left alone with the truth of life and unfulfilled dreams. As a result, the actor commits suicide, and Vasily goes to prison. In the play "At the Bottom" Gorky gives an example of the disastrous consequences of any deception, even for salvation.

AI Kuprin's story

The opposite point of view is demonstrated in AI Kuprin's work "The Holy Lie" . Ivan Ivanovich Semenyuta is presented as a positive character who is constantly unlucky in life. At school, he was attacked by classmates, and in the service he was unfairly fired and accused of theft. Wanting to save his beloved mother from worries, he lies to her, saying that his affairs are going well. The woman, in turn, lies to her son that she does not know about his problems.

Deception in a story is a manifestation of love and care. It is not for nothing that the author calls such a lie a saint. It does not bear negative consequences and is perceived as something natural and harmless.

Arguments from other works

The choice between the bitter truth and deceit has to be made by the heroes of many literary works. Some authors justify the actions of their characters if the lie is used to save a person:

In the work “The Fate of a Man” by M. A. Sholokhov, the protagonist deceives an orphaned boy, posing as his own father. Thanks to this deception, the child finds a family.
In the novel War and Peace, Marya Bolkonskaya decides to lie to Lisa about Andrei's fate. She saves a pregnant girl from unnecessary worries.
In Pushkin's The Captain's Daughter, Pyotr Grinev saves the life of Masha Mironova, presenting her as an orphan.

Many examples and arguments can be found in the life of any person.

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