Emotionally unavailable men characteristics
Am I with an Emotionally Unavailable Man? — Integrative Psychotherapy Mental Health Blog
You’re sitting in your cozy New York apartment and are staring at your computer screen, wide awake at 3am. For some reason, you can’t sleep but you don’t know why. Then you go to your google browser and click “ Why don’t I feel calm in my relationship”? and scroll through a few blogs and info graphs.
Then you write “How to know if the guy I’m with loves me”… and you find a few juicy articles with some basic examples that let you know if your man is “into you”..but then you see a term in the corner of the page that says “but, beware of the emotionally unavailable partner”, and you stare at those words for a few long moments.
You head back to google and click “How To Know If My Man Is Emotionally Available” and boom, you hit the jackpot. Your “mister” may not be emotionally available and that’s what this anxiety has been about. This is what’s been keeping you with a nagging feeling of doubt, insecurity and fear.What does it mean if someone is emotionally unavailable?
Signs he IS Available!
It means that the person has a difficult time relating to and understanding your emotions (as well as their own). They may not fully comprehend or know how to engage with and reciprocate love in a way that feels fulfilling; physically, emotionally, mentally and sexually.
An Emotionally unavailable person often has a fear or a blockage to emotional intimacy, leaving the other person feeling like they are grasping for more, left feeling misunderstood, emotionally unsatisfied and confused.
Relationships, while sometimes challenging, are meant to come with a feeling of security, excitement and calm.
So, if you’re feeling unsteady, and uncertain about how your partner feels about you, you may want to have a conversation with them. At the same time, if you think they may be unavailable, your plan of action may be a bit more nuanced so you don’t keep feeling confused.
Here are 10 signs of an emotionally unavailable man.1. When it comes to real-life conversations, they run.
You enjoy being in each others’ company and have a really playful dynamic, sexually. The conversation flows smoothly when it’s about friends, plans for dinner or your clothing choice. However, when you start sharing more emotionally about your family, or discuss your plans for your future, he checks out. An emotionally unavailable man has a difficult time knowing how to engage in the real-stuff conversations. In some instances, he may have some capacity to listen, but is emotionally shutting that part of himself down so that you don’t get too close. If that’s the case, you will likely feel shut down and alone. Healthy relationships are ones where your partner wants you to feel connected with, heard and supported.2. Their relationship history speaks loudly
Though we can’t judge all people solely based on their history, when it comes to relationships, it’s important to take note of the person’s relationship history. The ways we operate in relationships (engage, respond, love, reciprocate, listen) are based on patterned responses that are often automatic and unconscious. Therefore, if someone has operated in a certain way in the past, unless they’ve done some really introspective work and made conscious shifts, it’s more than likely they will repeat their old patterns in their current relationships.
When it comes to past relationships of men who are emotionally unavailable, you’ll either see that they have never been in a real relationship- and have only had casual “flings” or “situation-ships”. They may have primarily had “friends with benefits”, or they’ve had relationships that were toxic, codependent or chronically unfulfilling. You may hear them sharing a narrative blaming the other person or thinking that it was the other person at fault, without hearing the person taking accountability for their part of the dynamic. You may notice a pattern where they leave the relationship just as it’s about to get serious, or if they end things because they are afraid of “getting stuck”. These are all signs of someone who has fear associated with emotional intimacy.
They have emotional blockages that hold them back from seeing that, though relationships do come with responsibility, healthy love can also be freeing, invigorating and deeply nourishing.
If there is a level of health and emotional awareness, you would hear the person take accountability in some form. Here are some examples; “I wasn’t really able to be present”, or “I acted like needy child and there was no way we were going to last”, or “ I was afraid of intimacy so I only attracted chaotic partners” or “ I don’t know what it was, but I definitely had a part on the experience”.)3. Intermittent Responsiveness
When we are in a healthy relationship, there is a level of interaction and responsiveness, in person and via phone. When someone is emotionally unavailable, their communication will reflect that. There will be times that they reach out and engage with you, and there will be times where they go silent and respond hours later. We all know that sometimes we get busy, and it’s ok to sometimes not be responsive. But when it comes to someone who is emotionally non-present, there will be a normalizing of this lack of communication or intermittent emotional presence. If you feel like you’re grasping for a response, or you’re reaching to know that you matter to them, please take a breath and pause.
Do not stay engaged in a cycle with someone who isn’t able to reciprocate healthy communication and care.4. The Energy is Non-Committal
Do you know that calm feeling you get when you spend time with someone who just loves you? Think about your best friend from childhood, or your sister or a close colleague who just shows up for you, in the good times and the bad. Our bodies know the energy that surrounds us. Somatic Therapy speaks about this concept, that we have a “felt sense” a feeling that gives us the “good feels” or “yucky feels”. When it comes to being with someone emotionally unavailable, your body gets this anxious, irritable energy because you can sense his energy of non-commitment.
Though he may have adorable dimples, or a lovable laugh, and makes you smile, you end up feeling a bitter taste in your heart.
His energy of non commitment comes across when he fits you into his “free time” or cancels plans last minute. He won’t be making sure you’re on this “priority list”, and when you start noticing your position in his life, you start feeling bad about yourself and this often causes a dent to your self esteem. Yeah, not a good thing to stay engaged with!5. You feel insecure and misunderstood
Half of being understood is about your words landing, but the other half is about the person truly caring about how you’re feeling and valuing your emotions. When Mr. Unavailable is the one you’re investing emotionally in, you’ll likely feel dismissed, and misunderstood. He may be “listening” to the words you’re staying, but he isn’t truly taking the energy to understand you, get to fully grasp how the situation you’re sharing impacted you, and he may even get frustrated when you seem hurt by his lack of care. He may tell you that you’re too needy and are complicated because “he’s trying”. Hearing this can leave you feeling insecure and bad about yourself. You may think you’re feeling bad because of what he said about you needing too much, but really the insecurity is about the fact that you’re engaging with someone who isn’t giving you a feeling of safety and security.
You deserve to feel secure, valued and for y0ur partner to be attentive to you; please do not take criticism about your (reasonable) emotional needs to heart.6. Defensiveness is their second name
A sign of an emotionally available man!
He will likely have some kind of awareness that he isn’t showing up in the way you’re wanting and needing. Because of this, if he says something that lands wrong or if you question something about his motive, you’ll hear a defensive response. This irritability on his end is because he’s operating with a sense of self denial (he may tell himself he doesn’t need a more emotional relationship, or he may want to be in a relationship, but not with you, and he needs to keep all the true feelings far away from himself so he doesn’t feel compelled to make changes).
It’s not your job to help someone be less defensive; it’s your job to listen to his actions and energy and decide if this is healthy for you (hint: it likely is not!)
Now, in healthy relationships, we all have defensiveness that can come up, and those are work-able with. However, when it’s in a relationship that is wobbly and had little emotional connection, and there is a lot of defensiveness, you want to be careful and notice that.7. Lacking excitement, romance and growing love
Healthy, emotionally fulfilling relationships growth with time. Though the initial infatuation settles, what does grow is a feeling of excitement of being with someone who understands you, a growing romantic dynamic that comes with ease and an anchoring love and connectedness. Relationships the steady foundations to our emotional health, and when you’re in a healthy relationship, you will feel steadier.
This doesn’t mean you wont have conflict, but it means that you have the capacity to move past disagreements and grow, together. Your love becomes richer and more calming to both of you, as you stay emotionally attuned and caring to one another, and to the relationship.
But when you’re with someone emotionally unavailable, you won’t feel any of the warm fuzzy feelings around your heart. You may have some good feelings, but there’s a feeling of stagnation where the good isn’t growing and the love is deepening. If you notice a lack of spark and joy, don’t ignore that feeling; listen in.8. Judgement around sharing emotions instead of vulnerability being seen as beautiful.
Relationships are all about vulnerability, trust and care. Sharing emotions is about letting someone else into our heart and giving them a chance at getting closer to us. When someone is emotionally unavailable, they are terrified of emotions. They are afraid of sharing because they likely have their own fears about opening up to someone. But since they have a fierce wall of protection, you may not get to see their feelings, but when you share yours, you will be met with a feeling of judgement.
But please do know that just because he has fears about getting attached and responding to your emotional sharing, it does not mean that your feelings are bad or wrong to share. Judgement about your emotions may be a warning sign that he will either continuously shut you down emotionally, or will leave when he feels threatened emotionally. This is a toxic dynamic to stay in, so please honor your heart and find a way to leave the relationship if this dynamic is present.
When you’re with someone emotionally available, you’ve got this!9. Out of Touch With Reality
Some men who are unavailable are living in a fantasy world and are out of touch with reality. They may have big plans, big ideas and are living in a mental space that is disconnected from reality. This may be a defense because they may have a lot of pain about their family of origin, or may feel like they are falling behind professionally or socially.
However, a healthy man is aware of his reality and take small yet smart steps towards growing. If your man is unavailable, you may notice that he’s simply out of touch with reality, not just with you and your relationship, but in a lot of areas in life.
This may give you comfort, as his limitations are clearly not about you, but are about him. And even if he is in touch with reality, but is emotionally unavailable- it still isn’t about you. The only problem that belongs to you is that you are choosing to stay engaged with someone who isn’t capable of respecting you in the way you need.10. Confusion
You may feel a floaty feeling of confusion when you speak with them, or you may just feel confused when you spend time with them. On the one hand, you like what you have and it has sweet parts, but something leaves you feeling confused and unclear. If you feel this way, it’s coming from somewhere; I wouldn’t brush it away. If you were in a healthy relationship or if your man has the capacity to emotionally engage, I’d bring up the feeling and say “Hey, I notice I’m feeling kinda confused about us, or something between us feels confusing, can we chat about it please?”.
This kind of conversation can provide a space to openly share and to come to a place of tending to whatever it is that’s coming up from your end, his end, or an implicit dynamic between the two of you. However, with someone unavailable, this kind of conversation may go in circles or you may get answers that don’t settle you. You aren’t meant to feel confused in a relationship.
If you’re reading this, know that relationships can be fulfilling.
As social creatures, we need each other. However, we need others who are healthy enough to engage in real relationships. Now, if you are with someone who is loving and kind and has some limits, I would not put them on the “black list” just because they struggle. All relationships struggle, however, in healthy enough ones, both parties are open, truthful, clear and committed to the relationship and can tolerate the uncomfortable conversations.
However, if you are with someone who isn’t able to offer emotional availability and you ARE able to be emotionally available, then this blog is for you. I hope this information can clarify some facts so you feel less confused and more clear about your relationship.
I know that shifting relationships and taking in new information can feel overwhelming, or maybe even frightening.
Please take a breath and just take the information in slowly. Most often, we land up in unavailable relationships without realizing, or because there’s an unconscious attraction to people like that because of our own fears or negative beliefs about ourselves.
Sometimes, getting the right support from friends, family or a mentor or therapist, is the smartest route when making shifts in your relationship. If you are needing some individualized attention and one-on-one counseling to help support you as you make relationship shifts, reach out. We are here for you.
Our goal at Integrative Psychotherapy is about helping you have richer relationships, and even more than that, we are. hereto do the deep work so we can help you heal from negative beliefs that keep you pulled into unfulfilling relationships or dynamics in your life.
We get it, and our skilled clinicians have helped individuals do the work that allows for richer relationships. We utilize talk therapy, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, Attachment Informed Therapy, Parts Work/IFS, Creative Arts and Mind-Body Somatic Therapy to help you make shifts in your day to day relationships as well as tending to any unconscious patterns so you can make lasting changes in your life.
And wherever you are at today, reading this page, please do know that my heart is sending warm wishes to yours.
I truly believe that as you gain awareness and skills, you can and will invite more fulfilling relationships. As long as you are devoted to your heart, and to being in emotionally healthy relationships, you will have that. It may take time, but your commitment to health will guide you there.
Sending you strength and care,
Esther and the Integrative Team
Attachment Theory, Abandonment Trauma, Love and Relationships, Somatic PsychotherapyEsther GoldsteinEmdr for trauma, relationships and attachment, relationships counseling nassau county, emotional hunger counseling nassau, emotionally unavailable14 Comments0 Likes
How To Tell: Emotionally Unavailable Men Characteristics
Many people searching for a male partner are looking for one who can understand and accept their needs. They usually want someone who is loyal and dependable. One of the most important aspects of a dependable man is his emotional availability. Men who are not emotionally available may not want—or simply cannot understand what you are feeling. As a result, they are often unwilling or unable to help you in a time of an emotional crisis.
Rather than attempting to change your partner, a better approach may be educating yourself about emotionally unavailable men’s typical characteristics. Once you identify these characteristics, you can learn how to avoid emotionally unattached men. Or, if you realize that you happen to be dating an emotionally unavailable man, you can learn how to improve your relationship or decide to end things successfully.
9 Common Traits Of Emotionally Unavailable Men
Many emotionally unavailable men often struggle with issues of insecurity and low self-esteem. As a result, they often cannot sustain the deep emotional bonds that a healthy relationship requires. This emotional unavailability can manifest in a variety of characteristics and signs.
In this article, we break down the most common signs of an emotionally unavailable man.
1. He Is Giving You Mixed Signals
Emotionally unavailable men generally give their partners a number of mixed signals regarding their interest in the relationship. They could act wholly invested in their relationship one week and then begin ignoring it the following week. Your partner may be giving mixed signals because he is unsure if he wants to be in the relationship. There is also the unfortunate possibility that he is seeing someone else. Why Do I Keep Falling For Emotionally Unavailable Men? Ask An Expert. Get Matched With A Licensed Relationship Counselor Online.
Why Do I Keep Falling For Emotionally Unavailable Men?
Ask An Expert. Get Matched With A Licensed Relationship Counselor Online.
Often if a partner is cheating on you or cheating with you, they will act emotionally detached because they know there is a good chance your relationship will fail or burn out. However, if he has recently gotten out of a long and perhaps meaningful relationship, he may not want to settle down. He could still be grappling with past emotional baggage. As a result, he may not want to pursue anything serious at the moment.
If you are looking for a stable or long-term relationship, these “mixed signals” may eventually develop into a significant challenge for you. If this man were to communicate his goals—should he have any—regarding to your relationship, you could make an informed decision based on this information. Unfortunately, emotionally unavailable men often fail to make a firm decision when it comes to their relationships. In even less desirable cases, your partner may actually mislead you. As a result, it will be up to you to often read between the lines and make up your mind on where you believe the relationship will go.
2. He Does Not Lend Any Emotional Support To You
One of the most common types of unavailability in men is their inability to make themselves available to you during a personal crisis.
Even if they claim that they have lent a hand of support to you during tough times, a quick analysis of their roles in these past situations might prove otherwise. If you think you are dating an emotionally unavailable man, an important part of deciding how to act will involve separating what he SAYS from what he DOES.
3. He Always Comes Up With Excuses For Not Spending Time With You
Some people call it “ghosting.” Others refer to it as “benching or breadcrumbing.” Either way, you might have noticed that your partner is taking longer to respond to text messages than usual or rarely available to hang out with you. The act of ghosting is one of the most common characteristics of emotionally unavailable men.
Emotionally unavailable men are also quick to find excuses to explain wht they are late to visit you, do not show up on dates, or have not spoken to you in a while. They may say that they are busy. But if he is constantly “busy” doing things and hanging out with people who are not you, this could be a red flag.
An additional truth to consider is that we often make time for the things that we consider to be priorities. After all, you are likely making time for him.
4. He Avoids Making Long-Term Plans With You
Additionally, emotionally unavailable men tend to avoid making long-term plans or displaying affection toward you in public. Some of this can be a matter of timing, of course, but if you have been with a man for several years and he is hesitant to refer to you as his girlfriend or even broach the subject of marriage with you, then it might be time to reassess the status of your relationship.
5. He Is Arrogant
The next time you are out in public, pay attention to how your partner treats other people. One tell-tale sign that he is experiencing pent-up anger or an oversized ego is his quickness to disrespect service workers or anyone he believes he holds power over.
An emotionally unavailable man often develops arrogance from a lack of self-esteem. In order to feel the power and control he lacks, he must show others that he is “better” than them. In his mind, they should serve him, not the other way around. Arrogant men with self-esteem issues may also display narcissistic traits and constantly seek validation from others.
6. It’s Always His Way Or The HighwayEmotionally unavailable men also tend to despise compromises. According to him, all of his personal relationships should revolve around him and cater to his individual needs. This often leads him to control a relationship so that things either go his way or no way at all. For instance, if he wants to go out for dinner, he will make sure you go out for dinner, even if you’d prefer to stay in.
7. You Only See Each Other On His Terms
One of the most common signs of an emotionally unavailable man is his desire to only see you when it is convenient for him.
Have you begun to realize that you only see your partner on his terms? He may call you to spend time together when it is convenient for him but make excuses whenever you attempt to make plans. Unfortunately, many men who are emotionally unattached are takers, not givers. When he needs help, he knows you will provide him help. But whenever you seek emotional support, you feel left in the dust.
8. He Disguises Himself As Prince Charming
If a man seems too good to be true, he sometimes is. Men who flirt using excessive flattery are often only focused on finding short-term intimacy in casual relationships. Out of the most common characteristics of emotionally unavailable men, this can be the most misleading.
To help reel people in, an emotionally unattached man might pretend to appear vulnerable and open. But upon further inspection, you might realize you really don’t know anything about him. Should you ask him questions about his past or his future goals, he might smoothly change the subject and turn the conversation toward an unrelated topic. Some emotionally unavailable men are genuinely afraid of opening up and will do anything to prevent it.
9. He Is Only Interested In Sex
A man who is emotionally unavailable might express a desire toward becoming sexually familiar with you shortly after you meet. Some emotionally unavailable men are only interested in pursuit. Once a man has achieved his sexual goal, and your relationship with him starts to grow more intimate, he may wish to move onto someone new.
Sometimes, a man struggling with emotional availability expresses a primary interest in sex because he believes he has nothing else to offer in a relationship, or he is afraid of growing close to someone.
What You Should Do If You Are With An Emotionally Unavailable Man
It may help if you take the first step toward putting labels on your relationship. Does he mind if you call him your boyfriend or that you are his girlfriend? Sometimes, this will be enough to wake him up and help him become more emotionally engaged. If he is not receptive to you clarifying what you are to each other, it may be an indication that it is time to break off the relationship. Breaking up with someone that you have strong feelings for is never easy, but it often has to be done in order for you to have a chance at happiness with someone else.
If you’ve decided to end the relationship, the first step requires you to be honest with yourself. You must acknowledge that you are dating an emotionally unavailable man. In your heart of hearts, you probably may have suspected as much, and know that you deserve a happy and fulfilling relationship.
The second step involves making an inventory of all of the times that your partner has disappointed you or was not there for you. Making this kind of list can be uncomfortable for some people. After all, you may still have strong feelings for your partner. You may find yourself getting angry or sad as you go through this list. It is okay to be angry at someone who has taken you for granted or actively mislead you. And it can be disappointing too, to know that, for someone you felt you held a connection with, the connection did not end up running both ways.
Finally, stop contacting him. No calls, texts, emails, “dropping by” …nothing. See how long it takes for him to reach out to you. You may discover pretty quickly that you were the one keeping this quasi-relationship going. He really was not doing very much at all. Why Do I Keep Falling For Emotionally Unavailable Men? Ask An Expert. Get Matched With A Licensed Relationship Counselor Online.
Why Do I Keep Falling For Emotionally Unavailable Men?
Ask An Expert. Get Matched With A Licensed Relationship Counselor Online.
And if for whatever reason he does reach out to you, stay strong. The two of you are done, and you deserve a chance at happiness with someone else. Refer to the list that you made earlier. Has anything from that list really changed? Probably not.
How Counseling Can Help
If you’re interesting in salvaging the relationship, a couple’s counselor may be able to help you to strengthen your communication skills. A couple’s counselor is trained in listening to and understanding couples and can help partners to listen to and understand each other. Sometimes an unbiased, objective professional can help you better understand yourself and your relationships with others.
Some people are leery about going to counseling because of things like affordability, time constraints, and confidentiality. Research shows that online therapy is a powerful tool in strengthening relationships and can result in similar success and satisfaction rates to traditional in-person therapy. For example, the study Marriage: A Randomized Controlled Trial of the Web-Based OurRelationship Program: Effects on Relationship and Individual Functioning found that an overwhelming majority—94%—of participants were satisfied with online relationship services, and more than half made significant progress in strengthening their relationships.
Online therapists can talk to you in the comfort of your home and can help facilitate difficult conversations between you and your partner. Licensed therapists at BetterHelp are available according to your schedule and can help you with any emotional or mental health concerns you have. Starting is easy, and you won’t have to wait for weeks to have your first session. And, if you don’t click with a particular therapist, it’s easy to switch to another counselor. If you are stuck and can’t figure out what to do next to get your boyfriend to open up to you, this can be the way to go. You can read BetterHelp counselor reviews below.
“She has been a great resource for me to reflect on my relationship with my husband. I hope to continue this journey in order to sort things out. Thank you for all you do.”
“Izabela is AMAZING. Since I’ve started working with her I have begun to sort out my emotions revolving around past traumas, I’ve become more aware of what I’m feeling and my communication skills has e improved immensely, which have really improved my relationship with my husband.”
FAQ About Dealing With An Emotionally Unavailable Man
What Are The Signs Of An Emotionally Unavailable Man?
Spotting an emotionally unavailable man is usually fairly easy, as they tend to present a variety of red flags early on in a relationship. For example, a man who is emotionally detached will avoid opening up to you. You may also lack a genuine emotional connection. This could result from his discomfort toward your own emotions.
An emotionally detached man may also show a preference for physical intimacy over emotional intimacy. Maintaining a focus on the physical aspects of his connection to you can prevent him from coping with the messy emotions and complications that serious relationships can bring.
How Do You Connect With An Emotionally Unavailable Man?
Many people do not know how to deal with an emotionally unavailable man effectively. If your partner is often emotionally detached, it can be challenging to communicate with him. You will often have to practice patience when it comes to navigating difficult situations together.
But if your partner is making a genuine effort to address his emotional insecurities, it is critical that you remain supportive of and receptive to his attempts at achieving personal growth.
Do Emotionally Unavailable Men Change?
While emotionally unavailable partners can certainly change, they will not reform themselves overnight. This process takes time. Sometimes, they will encounter various roadblocks and setbacks along the way. Try not to rely on the belief that you can successfully change him. All too often, this blind faith leads to heartbreak and disappointment for one or both parties.
Is it Possible For An Emotionally Unavailable Man To Fall In Love With Me?
While struggling with issues that can cause emotional unavailability, such as mental illness, does not make someone incapable of love, it also does not make them invincible from accidentally hurting those they love.
For men in particular who are emotionally unavailable to be able to fall in love, they must also follow a desire to change themselves for the better. This process in itself can take a long time. Therefore, you should try to remember that waiting for your supposed Prince Charming to fall in love with you might take longer than expected. You might have to ask yourself whether the wait is worth it—or if you are simply holding out with false hope.
I Am Married To An Emotionally Unavailable Man. Is My Marriage In Trouble?
People married to emotionally unavailable men are often forced to contend with a rocky relationship. Many of these partners fear that their husbands will leave them. Even when they attempt to become closer to their spouse, they are repeatedly shut down.
While some people occasionally go through periods of their lives when they are emotionally unavailable, it could be a red flag if your spouse is never there for you on an emotional level. If you feel that your spouse is consistently emotionally vacant or unavailable, you might benefit from professional marriage counseling to begin remediating the situation.
How Do You Get An Emotionally Unavailable Man To Chase You?
Some people believe that there are simple tips and tricks to making an emotionally unavailable man want you back. But getting a man to commit to you or “chase” you cannot be boiled down into a little guidebook on emotionally unavailable men. In fact, many people who try to jump through hoops to change a man’s mind are setting themselves up for heartbreak. Remember that no one can change another person. It is up to the man himself to decide to initiate change in himself.
What Causes A Man To Develop Emotional Unavailability?
A variety of events and factors can cause a man to become emotionally unattached:
- Experiencing a relationship with an emotionally distant partner
- Living with childhood abuse and neglect
- Growing up in a household with an emotionally unavailable parent
How Do You Love An Emotionally Damaged Man?
This type of man will not always appreciate your love and the effort you put into your relationship. However, if your partner is attempting to address his emotional challenges, it is important to learn how to support him. Accepting his imperfections and acknowledging that you cannot change him yourself is paramount to a healthy relationship.
How Do I Stop Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men?
Unfortunately, there are times when one can’t help but fall for an emotionally unavailable man. Some people who are attracted to this type of man are struggling with self-esteem issues and have severe insecurities of their own. They may unconsciously pursue an emotionally unavailable male in an effort to feel validated once he finally commits to them. Others simply don’t see the red flags until they are several months into the relationship.
Consider these steps to avoid dating emotionally unavailable men and help save yourself from heartbreak and disappointment down the road.
- Learn the signs of a detached and closed-off man early on so you can avoid one
- Ask yourself why you are attracted to this type of man
- Remind yourself that you are not meant to be his savior
- Develop a stronger sense of self, so you feel empowered to accept nothing less than what you know you deserve in a relationship
How Do You Detach From Someone Emotionally?
Learning how to emotionally detach yourself from someone who is hurting you is almost never easy. For some people, it requires baby steps and time. For others, they might need to learn how to rip the band-aid off completely after a break-up.
Keep these tips in mind as you slowly move on from a hurtful relationship or breakup:
- Remind yourself why the relationship didn’t work out
- Set firm boundaries between you and your ex-partner
- Learn how to release your negative emotions in a healthy way, such as exercise or art
Why Do Some People Keep Pursuing Emotionally Unavailable Men?
There are a number of reasons why a person might continue to pursue emotionally detached men. Maybe they are struggling with their own insecurities. Others mistakenly associate the anxiety that often comes with emotionally unavailable men with chemistry. Some may unconsciously believe they do not observe a better man in their lives.
How Do You Connect With An Emotionally Unavailable Man?
Connecting with an emotionally unavailable man is difficult—but it isn’t impossible. Learning effective communication skills and understanding where he is coming from is a solid start toward making a genuine connection with him.
Unfortunately, some men are emotionally unavailable and simply uninterested in pursuing a serious relationship at the moment. Many times, it is up to the man to decide for himself that he needs to change. Even after he makes this decision, he must continually work to change his negative attitudes and behavior patterns.
If you feel like you are having trouble identifying whether you are in a dead-end relationship with an emotionally unavailable man or are struggling to cope with a breakup, consider speaking with a certified therapist on BetterHelp.90,000 characteristics and traits of emotionally unavailable men |
When it comes to relationships, emotional connections turn fun into seriousness. For many women, the desire to build a deep emotional connection with a man plays a big role in their search for the right guy. But what happens when you find yourself putting time and effort into a relationship where the guy doesn't seem to reciprocate your desire for an emotional connection? This could mean that you are dating an emotionally unavailable man. Working with emotionally unavailable men can be challenging when you both want different things; it can leave you alone, depressed, unimportant and undesirable. Read on to find out what causes emotional unavailability, the traits of emotionally unavailable men, and tips on what to do if you find yourself in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable man.Source: rawpixel.com
What causes emotional unavailability?
Many different things can cause emotional withdrawal. All these causes fall into two categories: temporary and chronic.
- Temporary emotional unavailability
These are reasons that arose due to a life event. There may be something else in his life to which he dedicates his time and effort, such as work, family members, further education, or even health problems. Men who are recently divorced or widowed often find themselves emotionally distant for a while, mourning the lost relationship. This situation is also possible for men who have recently ended a long-term relationship. Sometimes a breakup can lead to emotional unavailability of men who just want to date for a while before trying to find another serious partner.
Although these reasons will probably disappear with time, this does not mean that you can force an emotionally unavailable man to give up his habits. He will have to decide when he is ready to emotionally invest in a new relationship.
- Chronic Emotional Unavailability
For some emotionally unavailable men, the underlying causes are more serious and lead to chronic emotional problems. Research has shown that parents who are emotionally unavailable to their sons have a higher risk of raising men who are themselves emotionally unavailable. Some men with mental disorders may also experience difficulty with emotions. In addition, men who have been previously burned by love may find it difficult to overcome these hurtful feelings and are afraid to reconnect emotionally.
These more chronic causes that lead to emotional unavailability of men are more difficult to overcome. Often the best solution is treatment by a mental health professional who can help a man assess these issues and find ways to overcome them so he can feel comfortable again.
There are certain characteristics of emotionally unavailable men that a woman may notice when trying to evaluate her relationship. Character traits of emotionally unavailable men can vary depending on the man and the situation. If a man exhibits only one or two of the listed characteristics, this does not necessarily mean that he is an emotionally distant person. But if you notice that your significant other has more than one or two of the traits listed for characteristics of emotionally unavailable men, chances are he may have an emotional problem. Here are some characteristics of an emotionally unavailable man that you can look out for:Source: rawpixel.com
- He doesn't like to open up to you
One of the most common characteristics of emotionally unavailable men is their reluctance to reveal their feelings to you. Being able to talk about your feelings is a normal part of a healthy relationship, but it will be uncomfortable for a distant man. Sharing feelings means lowering your guard, which emotionally unavailable men categorically do not want to do. For example, he will avoid talking even about the day-to-day events of his week, such as how a tough meeting with his boss went, or the frustration of canceling plans. Instead, an emotionally unavailable man will keep those thoughts and feelings inside rather than trusting you. He will choose to discuss more down-to-earth topics instead of emotional ones, sticking to the facts instead of sharing something that touches his feelings.
- He is uncomfortable when you express your emotions
Another characteristic of emotionally unavailable men is that they are either uninterested or uncomfortable when you express your own feelings or emotions. Emotionally unavailable men have problems with all emotions, not just their own. If a man changes the subject when you are trying to talk about your feelings, or if he becomes withdrawn, frustrated, or even annoyed, these are signs of an emotionally unavailable man. Healthy relationships involve vulnerability and having someone who is willing to listen to you and help you through difficult times. Emotionally unavailable men do not want to deal with emotionally charged situations, which makes them unable to maintain normal romantic relationships.
- He doesn't talk about his past
Emotionally unavailable men are rarely, if ever, open and honest about their past events when it comes to relationships and when it comes to their life experiences. While no one needs to come clean about every detail of their past and failed relationships, being able to share details about themselves is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship. You can't expect someone to share all of their intimate details when your relationship is just getting started. However, if your boyfriend keeps you in the dark about his past even after you've been together for a while, these are signs of an emotionally unavailable man.
- He is often sarcastic or joking
Have you noticed that your boyfriend manages to turn any serious moment into a joke or respond with sarcasm? Another characteristic of emotionally unavailable men is that they often choose this tactic to avoid having to express any strong emotion such as anger, frustration, fear, or sadness. They will find a way to turn any situation into laughter as a defense mechanism instead of dealing honestly with emotions, be it his or yours. Therefore, if you notice that your man reacts to bad news with a joke, and your emotions with sarcasm, this may be a sign of a man's emotional unavailability.
- He does not want to make any commitment to you
Emotionally unavailable men either cannot or do not want to make commitments to another person in a relationship. He will go out of his way to act casual, even going so far as not to call you his girlfriend so as not to make a commitment. Commitment involves the emotional investment of both people in the relationship, which is what he is trying to avoid. Instead, emotionally unavailable men often have very short relationships, never staying with a woman long enough for it to require any investment on his part. If you came up with the idea of taking your relationship to the next level and he was unresponsive or tried to change the subject, your relationship has little chance of becoming anything more than it is now.
- He replaces emotional connections with physical ones
Physical intimacy is a natural part of a romantic relationship, and men often show interest in establishing a physical relationship before you have established an emotional connection. The difference from emotionally unavailable men is that they replace emotional connections with physical ones. If your boyfriend deflects your attempts to talk about your relationship or your emotions by initiating physical intimacy, there's a good chance he's emotionally unavailable.
What to do if you're dating an emotionally unavailable man
Emotionally unavailable men's personality traits are hard to read but difficult to manage, especially if you're married to an emotionally unavailable man. There's a difference between being emotionally unavailable and just being bad at managing your emotions. The difference is whether a man is just uncomfortable dealing with emotions or trying to avoid them completely, avoidance is a key factor that defines emotionally unavailable men. If your boyfriend avoids & ldquo; labeling & rdquo; your relationship, discussion of his feelings, or backlash when you express your emotions, it is likely that he is emotionally distant and that your relationship is unlikely to go any further than it is.
An emotionally unavailable man is not necessarily broken; he simply did not learn or forgot how to cope with emotions. Dealing with an emotionally unavailable man is impossible. You can come up with the idea of going to couples counseling with him or having him go through individual therapy to try to solve his problems. There's a good chance he won't, but if you approach it frankly, he can be receptive. Tell him that you're interested in continuing the relationship and mention the ways you think make the two of you right for each other. If he is the type of man who wants to try to change, he must be ready to face his problems. If it doesn't, you know it's time to end the relationship.Source: rawpixel.com
If you find yourself in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable man and don't know how to deal with it, try making an appointment with a licensed therapist at ReGain. We connect people with therapists who can help deal with many types of problems, including those that can result from dealing with emotionally unavailable men. Unlike face-to-face counseling, we offer convenient online sessions that can be conducted from your computer, tablet or phone at any time that suits you. Don't let being with emotionally unavailable men affect your mental well-being; let a licensed therapist help you learn how to handle this journey, even if your boyfriend doesn't want to be involved.
27 Characteristics of emotionally unavailable men Can they change?
Are you dating or married to an emotionally unavailable person and wondering if he will ever change?
Are you trying to connect with him on a deeper level to take your relationship to the next level, but can't get the same in return?
Do you feel that you are trying to put in blood, sweat and tears in a relationship while he remains busy and cannot give himself up emotionally ?
If so, you've come to the right place and I have a solution for you, but it's critical that you begin to address this issue in your relationship immediately.
The first thing you need to make sure is that he is faithful to you.
Most of the time, emotionally unavailable men have something to hide that they don't want YOU to know about.
I recommend using a simple tool like this to find out if he is trying to hide something.
Just run his name through the system and he'll show you where he's been, who he's been with, and give you a pretty good indication of whether he's been loyal to you.
Once you rule that out, we can move on to the next step where I will explain how one of my friends dated a person who was emotionally unavailable.
- 1 My personal experience
- 2 What are the signs of an emotionally unavailable person
- 2.1 blames others
- 2.2 begins as a whirlwind
- 2.3 He will not go there
- 2.4 know who he is, but
- 2.5 does not change above the others
- 2.6 He is perfectionist
- 2.7 This is always about him
- 2.9 He is passive, aggressive
- 2.10 He had an affair
- 2.11 He tells lies
- 2. 12 He never argues or gets angry with you0015
- 4 How do you get him to come to you?
- 5 Do not reward bad behavior
- 6 Dealing with an emotionally unavailable person
- 6.1 Just because they are unemotional does not mean they are dead does not make him evil
- 6.4 If you say you are a strong woman ... Be united
- 7 Emotionally unavailable or uninterested
- 8 Loving an emotionally unavailable man can be difficult
- 9 Conclusion
My personal experience
Although I have never personally met a man who was emotionally unavailable, one of my closest friends has, and I remember, an emotional rollercoaster through which she passed. I want to share this journey she went through with you so you can determine if your man is emotionally unavailable and if so, what you should be doing. We should all help each other, which we women can do.
If you're dating a man who always seems to keep his distance, never opens up to you or even admits that he has trust issues with women, this can complicate the relationship. One of the main things my friend learned from dating her man was that she should have let him come to her, not try to get him to talk about his emotions.
If you try to get him to talk about his feelings or get him closer to you, it can have the exact opposite effect and push him even further. He may even start to resent you because of the pressure you are putting on him.
In today's blog post, I'm going to go through the signs to determine if your man is emotionally unavailable, what you should do if he's emotionally unavailable, and how to distinguish him from being emotionally unavailable and just plain uninteresting (I hate to say it).
What are the signs of an emotionally unavailable person? Before you call him emotionally unavailable, let's make sure first.
I have listed 12 signs that may indicate that he is emotionally unavailable. He doesn't need to show signs that they are all emotionally unavailable. Similarly, if he shows signs of one of them, it also may not mean that he is emotionally unavailable, and that this is simply his personality.
If he shows signs of several of the following, then most likely your man is emotionally unavailable. If so, you can continue reading to find out the best way to deal with this, and how you can draw him to you instead of trying to force yourself on him.
I sat down with my friend to think about how her man behaved when he was emotionally unavailable so that I could come up with these signs. Anyway, there is no time like the present... let's start by finding out if your man is really emotionally unavailable and do something about it.
One sign that may mean your man is emotionally unavailable is if he constantly blames others for things in his past or present. My girlfriend always told me how she blames almost everything and everyone. While we all moan about it from time to time, it seemed to be a deeper issue in her relationship.
Men who are emotionally unavailable will tend to accuse their girlfriends of the most stupid things because they unconsciously try to push them away. Love is one of the most powerful emotions, and so you can imagine how scary the thought is for people who are emotionally unavailable. This is why they may become more distant as the relationship continues.
You may also notice that he blames the past relationship for not wanting to do things together, like going on vacation or moving. It's a big jump in a relationship that can bring out his insensitive traits.
If you feel like your man is pushing you away by blaming things on your or past relationship, then it's time to think about how you can win him back so he can be closer to you.
Starts as a whirlwind
This is one of the most unusual yet common signs that a person is emotionally unavailable. It's unusual because when you first started dating, he was probably really charming and super romantic. The relationship started like a whirlwind. Over time though the vortex seems to have disappeared and now you are left with a person who is becoming more and more distant.
This is because emotionally unavailable men will fear relationships as they become more serious. They love the thrill of dating and chasing a girl's heart. But when he finally wins her heart, it's almost like a flame, and he realizes that things are getting more serious.
My friend said that when she first met her man, he was a real charmer, and I remember how she was always excited and always told me these wonderful stories about him. I also remember how suddenly this whirlwind stopped for her. While my man and I certainly had our ups and downs, I never thought his whole personality had changed. This is how my friend felt. She realized that she had no idea who he really was.
He won't go there
If you, your man, regularly refuse to go there, then he is most likely emotionally unavailable. Men who are emotionally unavailable don't like to do things that are outside of their comfort zone, and so they simply refuse to even go there.
It can be quite frustrating when you want to introduce him to your family, want to move in with him, go on vacation or whatever. My girlfriend basically had problems with her man who didn't want to move in or even go out with the rest of the couples. Like he didn't acknowledge that he was actually in a relationship. If you are experiencing the same, I feel for you. I know my girlfriend will blame herself from time to time for never being a good thing. Remember that this is not something you have done; this is what he needs to overcome.
She eventually got him to come, and he seems to have come a long way since then, so don't believe he will never change. Later I will explain how to deal with an emotionally unavailable person, but for now let's continue with other signs.
Knows that he is, but does not change
This can be one of the most unpleasant features of an emotionally unavailable person. If he's telling you that he knows he's shit in a relationship, then he already knows he's emotionally unavailable. You would think that if he knew he was crap in a relationship, he would work on it to be a better guy. With emotionally unavailable men, however, this is not the case.
They know the flaws in their relationship but seem to own it and don't try to change or do anything about it. If you really love or even love this guy, then it can upset you and you can go through a rocky road. That doesn't mean you have to move on, although my friend managed to turn things around and she is now married to her man who was once emotionally unavailable.
Many women in relationships with emotionally unavailable men will believe that this is something that will never change and will accept this behavior. Don't reward him for this behavior because it can be changed. I will explain how you can do this further in this blog. You deserve to be treated like a queen, so don't settle for less.
Sees himself as superior to others
Men who are emotionally unavailable always evaluate people and situations rather than live experiences. For example, if a waiter comes to take your order, you will say hello, smile and tell him what kind of food you want to order. This is a living experience. In comparison, a person who is emotionally unavailable will do the same, but in doing so, he will evaluate the waiter and consider himself better than him. He evaluates this, but does not experience it.
While it's great and attractive for a man to be confident, you don't want him to believe he's better than others and look down on people. Looking at people is never an attractive trait and is one of the most obvious traits of emotionally unavailable men.
If your man has this trait, he most likely never or rarely had casual conversations with people he doesn't know or with people who don't do him any good. Most likely, he first strikes up a conversation with people only if they can offer him something of value. For example, at his workplace, he is more likely to strike up a conversation with the CEO in the kitchen, but not with an intern or secretary. As with other signs, he can work on it.
He is a perfectionist
Men who are perfectionists can be emotionally unavailable, although this is not always the case. I would probably consider him emotionally unavailable if he showed signs of the other traits listed here. Men who are perfectionists will struggle to come to terms with things they can't control, like you.
This can become even more of a problem if you propose big changes like living together. If he currently has his own apartment, then he is used to having full control over his space. The thought of moving together would probably terrify him because he would have to share his space with another and he would no longer be in complete control of his perfectionism.
Not only that, but a perfectionist may believe that others will never be good enough. This is very worrisome as it could lead to him going crazy in the relationship later if he stops thinking you're good enough and finds another woman. Eventually he will do the same to this woman, and the cycle will go on and on.
Do not believe that you are not good enough for anyone! This perfectionist problem is his problem, not yours.
It's always about him
Relationships should be about taking and taking, but if you're a guy it's all about taking, taking, taking, then he may well be emotionally unavailable. You will be able to identify this trait if he always wants to do what he wants, like choosing movies or choosing restaurants to eat. If he grumbles until he gets his way, then he only thinks of himself and ignores what you want to do.
This applies not only to doing something, but also to feelings. A person who only ever thinks about himself always somehow seems to change everything around him. For example, you can tell your man that you have problems at work with your manager and not with your listener; he ends up telling you about his even worse problem.
He's probably doing this because, unconsciously or not, he doesn't want to connect on a deeper level and talk about feelings. He does this about himself to avoid any emotional connection with you. Again, don't believe that this is your problem. The problem is that he is afraid to connect.
He refuses to speak
Now, before I get into this, I want to start by saying that there is a difference between a man who refuses to speak and a man who has very few words. My grandfather, for example, almost never said a word, but it wasn't because he refused to speak, just because he was always content with silence and spoke when he needed to, not just filling in the blanks. Compared to a person, someone who refuses to talk refuses to tell you about important things, about spiritual discussions, or about problems.
It's hard to build a relationship with someone who doesn't give you anything in return for talking. It's hard to make a connection outside of physical attraction without talking. It can be frustrating when your man doesn't open up to you. I've been through this myself and it's frustrating the hell out of me. Every time I tried to talk about something serious or get him to open up, he somehow joked and changed the subject.
While having fun in a relationship is absolutely essential, it's also important to have a heart-to-heart talk from time to time.
He is passive aggressive
Another sign that your man may be emotionally unavailable is if he is passive aggressive. Again, this is not the most attractive of traits, but when we look at a guy, we tend to ignore certain traits or believe that they will change.
Passive-aggressive is a term used to describe people (not just men) who avoid direct confrontation. When someone is passive aggressive, they will almost brush you off rather than face a problem. Doing this will never solve any relationship problems because nothing is ever solved but rather brushed aside and pushed aside.
This is another experience I had in the past with my current husband. He used to drive me crazy when he said okay, let's leave that for now. I couldn't understand why he didn't just talk to you so that we could come to a mutual agreement or disagreement. Everything seemed to be left unresolved. It finally got to the point where he realized that in order for us to stop these stupid arguments, we had to resolve them the way they happened. Guess what? It worked.
He had an affair
Okay, so this is the worst sign of the lot and definitely the most obvious sign. If your man had or has an affair, then his emotions for you will not be available. I hate talking business because I feel for any woman who has been through it or is going through it. This is a terrible way to treat someone and I will never be able to understand it. While I understand that not everything is as simple as black and white, I still find it hard to believe that there is any reasonable reason for someone to cheat on their partner.
Anyway, ranting is over! Of all the signs I've listed, this one is undoubtedly the most difficult to fix...if that's what you want to fix.
At this point, many women walk away from relationships, but for those of you who want to give it another chance, then it will be a difficult path for you, I won't lie. It will take you a very long time to get over his distrust, and this can be something that continues to be discussed even years later. If you are going to give him another chance, I highly recommend attending regular consultations.
He tells lies
A person who is emotionally unavailable can easily lie and almost think it's okay. This lie can be related to something small and unnecessary, like what time they got home from visiting their mom to something big, like why they didn't come home until the next day after night.
My friend told me that her boyfriend will tell her the most random lies that he doesn't even need to lie about. She told me that he once lied to her about what he ate for lunch because he didn't want to tell her that he had McDonald's. Although it doesn't seem so harmless, all these little lies build up and in the end she couldn't believe what he said, which later became a problem in their relationship.
Men who are emotionally unavailable can lie easily and not think about it. He will not understand that he is hurting you or undermining your trust. Because they are emotionally unavailable, they just don't care as long as they enjoy or get no grief.
He never argues or gets angry with you
This may sound like a good thing, but it really isn't. There is nothing worse than when he refuses to confront something and brushes you off. A person who is emotionally unavailable will go out of their way to avoid any kind of confrontation because it involves emotion. They don't want to get into a fight with you because fighting can actually bring some people closer...hence the term "ex".
My relationship improved a lot after I told my current husband and then boyfriend that I needed him to yell back at me and get angry because brushing me off wouldn't solve anything and the same kind of disagreement would keep coming up again .
We eventually learned to talk or fight until we both came to an agreement or disagreement. Ending an argument when the other person doesn't or won't agree to disagree will create resentment and hostility, trust me, I know. Since my man started learning to get angry and stop ignoring problems, the relationship has gotten stronger and stronger, and of course we are now married.
Stop chasing and let him come to you
Now that you know some of the signs that your man may be emotionally unavailable, it's time to tell you what you need to do to make the relationship work.
If there's one thing you need to constantly remind yourself of throughout this journey, it's that you must let him come to you, not force him to get closer. Trying to get him to do something will not end well and may push him further and further away.
This is how my friend managed to turn his emotionally unavailable boyfriend into a loving husband. I hope I can help you do the same so you can tell us about your successful relationship in the near future.
So now that you know that you have to let your man get close with his consent, now the question is how to do it? You might think it just means just waiting until he decides to change one day. This is not the case when you can quietly help him get closer to you. Don't worry, I am a woman full of relationship wisdom and will explain everything.
How do you get him to come to you
So how do you get him to come to you? You must be completely selfless and giving, and let everything be on his terms. This means not imposing the idea of meeting family, living together, or any other form of commitment. It is important for him to think about these things himself and on his own terms.
This means not only the big things in life, but also the little things. Let him hug you, kiss you, caress you, and be there for you on his own terms. Lack of pressure from wanting to be there for him when he's not ready, or being too weak when he's not ready, can cause him to move away from you.
Letting him make these decisions on his own is a sure way to bring him closer to you emotionally. It can be difficult though if all you want to do is text him, hug him and generally be there for him. You will need strong willpower for this.
Don't Reward Bad Behavior
This sounds a little weird, but stay with me on this one. You must learn to control how you react to his behavior. For example, if you feel like he doesn't listen to your concerns or concerns, or doesn't care about your feelings, you shouldn't throw a tantrum. This means no sulking, no throwing plates, no yelling, no slamming the door. You have to keep calm and almost play it at your own game.
If the next time he doesn't care or respond to your feelings, discourage this behavior by continuing to show him love when he can't do the same for you. The next time he mentions a problem he's having, do the same to him and ignore his feelings.
After that, it's just a game to sit and wait for him to approach you and make the first move about feelings. You can then reward him for this by showing your love for him too. This will actually help your emotionally unavailable person get closer to you because the process is based on structure, not pure emotion. While it doesn't sound like the most romantic thing in the world, it's something that will work, and it's something that will help him become more romantic.
Dealing with an emotionally unavailable person
Dealing with an emotionally unavailable person can be draining. He never opens up to you because his head is always in the clouds. He looks at you when you talk to him, but his eyes look blank. His eyes look blank because he is not interested in what you are saying. Your man is here personally, but not emotionally. He rarely smiles because he is stuck. He's stuck on a plateau.
He does not know how to move forward in a relationship. You will know that there is something about you that he likes, but you need to be patient while trying to figure out what it is. He may have been hurt in the past and that's why he doesn't seem to be attentive most of the time. If you really like him, try to help him. Try to get him to open up to you. Keep the conversations you have with him on a light note. Being too heavy with your man won't work. He needs a lot of reassurance, and if you're willing to put in the time and effort to help him, you may be rewarded by finding the real person behind the blank stare.
Just because he's unemotional doesn't mean he's dead
Just because he's unemotional doesn't mean he's dead, frankly, he has a lot to offer in a relationship. Something made your man who he is today. Something or someone caused him to close his mind emotionally. You can bring him out of your shell by being near him when he wants to talk. If you can get him to talk about what emotionally shut him out, you can see the real person buried underneath.
All this excess turmoil that apparently runs around his head can't be good for him. You should try to make it your goal to make him smile, finally, once a day. One smile will lead to another, and eventually he will laugh with you at your antics to make him happy. He deserves happiness in his life. You might be the person to give it to him. Imagine how close you will be if you are the one who can bring him back from this emotionless state. Your relationship will be unique because it will be based entirely on how you have dedicated your time to him. I think when he finally opens up and lets you into his heart, you will find a heart that beats strong and true.
Ignore the positives and believe the negatives
Ignore the positives and believe the negatives and you will come to the conclusion that you are not getting anything in the relationship. If you've tried everything in your power to unsuccessfully break through your man's hard outer shell, then I think it's time for you to take a deep breath and move on. You can hold your head up knowing that you were there to help your man, but he just couldn't or wouldn't let you get through to him. His world is closed, so it's hard for him to let you into his world.
Please accept that it's not your fault that you couldn't get through to him. Some men are single. They live from one day to the next in a bubble of their own making. They don't seem to care about other people's feelings, because if the truth comes out, they don't have feelings of their own. I know when you met him you must have found him attractive and you probably clung to the positives of him. Maybe it was his appearance. Maybe it was his strong physique. Whatever you found positive about him will almost certainly disappear because of his negative side.
The negatives now weigh the positives and you are truly fighting a battle you cannot win. Do yourself a favor and move on. You are a good person and you need love in your life. Unfortunately, in this relationship with this negative person, you will not find the love that you need.
The fact that he is unemotional does not make him evil
The fact that he is unemotional does not make him evil, underneath the empty expression is a person trying to escape from within. Never look at him like he's evil, he's not. He forgot how to show his emotions. You can help him learn again. There will be times when it will feel like a thankless act, but if you are determined to be there for your man, he will repay you many times over when he gets better. Perhaps there has been a lot of grief in his life and he feels guilty while smiling or laughing. Time is a great healer and together you will travel through life learning more and more about each other as you go. What a wonderful trusting relationship you will have.
If you say you are a strong woman... Be united
If you say you are a strong woman... be united, let your actions speak louder than words. Your man knows that you got what it takes to get things done. He is already proud of your achievements. You are the getter, when something needs to be done, you are the one who does it. Your man is happy that you took the reins, he is happy that you are the driving force in the relationship. Even though you are a busy bee, you always make time for your man, he is happy with how you treat him and his head hurts with the way you fit into your life. Your relationships that go places.
Emotionally unavailable or uninterested
Emotionally unavailable or uninterested men can be difficult to date. You don't know how they treat you. You will know that although you do everything for him, your efforts go unnoticed. One-sided relationships are incredibly difficult to deal with. It is impossible to give yourself wholeheartedly to a person who does not offer you anything in return. Ask your man what his feelings are for you. You may not like what you hear, but at least you will have some idea of where your relationship is heading. If it's time to put an end to this. Be confident and precise when you approach your man to tell him it's over. He may tell you that he will change, or he may tell you that he has strong feelings for you. If he can't show you these feelings, you have no future in this relationship.
Loving an emotionally unavailable man can be difficult
Loving an emotionally unavailable man can be difficult because there will be very little response from him. It's not fair if you don't feel any love from your man. There may be a very real and tragic reason why he can't convey emotion to you. If he can open up to you and tell you what it is that is holding him in, you may have a chance to help him. I think you should at least try to convince him to talk to you so you can get to the heart of the matter. I think you will feel more confident inside yourself knowing that you did everything you could to help him. By helping him, you are helping yourself. You will find out exactly where you stand with it. One thing you should be aware of is that if he is not emotionally honest with you, you risk being fired along with him. Please make a decision about the future you face with this person by thinking about yourself and what you want.
Having considered all the aspects that you may encounter when dealing with a person with emotional problems, I think you need to consider your relationship with him very carefully.