Couples counselling tips

25 Best Couples Therapy Techniques to Try in 2022

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We include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Here’s our process.

While social media is an ongoing highlight reel, the reality is that having problems as a couple is common. Many couples face conflicts and find comfort in guidance from a licensed therapist.

If you’re interested in trying couples therapy or wondering whether it’s a fit for you, we rounded up the best techniques and exercises to get started.

Every relationship has conflict. Learning how to handle your conflicts can not only patch up your issues, but it can also make your relationship much stronger.

In couples therapy, a licensed counselor works with two people to improve their relationship. Certain types of counselors are also specifically trained to work with couples, including marriage and family therapists.

Like any form of therapy, couples counseling requires a commitment and willingness to open up from both involved parties.

According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, more than 98 percent of its clients surveyed reported marriage and family therapy services as good or excellent.

Counseling doesn’t have to be a guarded practice reserved for any “type” of person. Couples therapy can help anyone in a relationship, regardless of demographics, like sexual orientation and age.

“Couples can form a more secure bond with one another and be able to have vulnerable conversations without pushing the other person away,” says Dr. Annie Hsueh, PhD, of Hope and Sage Psychological Services.

When committing to couples therapy, come with an open mind, and be ready to break down the barriers of communication.

Online resources and telehealth has made couples therapy more accessible than ever.

If you’re looking to engage in self-improvement and enhance your relationship, there’s many techniques and exercises at your fingertips.

1. Reflective listening

“Reflective listening is a highly beneficial exercise where the couple take turns being active listeners,” says Laura Louis, a licensed psychologist at Atlanta Couple Therapy.

Use “I” phrases instead of “you” statements. For example, say “I feel hurt when you do [X]” instead of “You’re wrong for doing [X].”

“When couples take turns being active listeners, it boosts healthy communication skills as well as conflict resolution skills for the couple,” Louis says.

2. Emotionally focused therapy

Many therapists use a method called emotionally focused therapy (EFT), which has been shown to facilitate long lasting behavior changes.

The goal is for couples “to identify maladaptive patterns within the relationship that are interfering with secure bonds and attachments,” says Ansley Campbell, a clinical director at The Summit Wellness Group.

People “learn and utilize techniques to heal or create safe and secure attachments within the relationship,” she explains.

3. Narrative therapy

The practice of narrative therapy revolves around people describing their problems in narrative form and rewriting their stories. This can help them see that no single story can possibly encapsulate the totality of their experience.

“There will always be inconsistencies and contradictions,” says Sam Nabil, the CEO and lead therapist at Naya Clinics.

Narrative therapy may be helpful for couples who feel like their relationship is failing due to both of their faults. According to a 2016 study, it has even been shown to decrease conflict and increase cooperation among couples.

“These couples often believe that they’re subject to this romantic pitfall and emotional trauma because they have been a ‘failure’ from the start and it is what they ‘deserve,’” Nabil says.

4. Gottman Method

The Gottman Method is a popular method practiced among couples therapists. The technique is designed to help couples deepen their understanding of one another while managing conflict in their relationship. It may also help with other issues, such as intimacy and marital adjustment.

The Gottman Institute has more than 40 years of research under its belt. It provides live workshops and take-home training materials for couples, but many therapists have also trained using the Gottman Institute’s methods.

5. Imago relationship therapy

Imago relationship therapy, developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt in 1980, emphasizes the connection between adult relationships and childhood experiences.

By understanding childhood trauma, the therapy is aimed at making couples more empathetic and understanding of one another.

6. Solution-focused therapy

If you’re dealing with a particular issue, experiencing burnout, or trying to work toward a specific goal, solution-focused therapy is a model to consider.

According to the Institute for Solution-Focused Therapy, the practice is “a short-term goal-focused evidence-based therapeutic approach which helps clients change by constructing solutions rather than dwelling on problems.”

7. Get crafty

“Having a physically visible vision board can help remind you of your shared desires and goals for when you are having issues within the relationship,” Louis says.

She advises couples to get crafty by writing down goals and collecting pictures that embody their relationship desires.

“It’s a tangible reminder that a marriage is a work in progress, and that it takes hard work and time on both ends to create a strong, healthy, and long lasting relationship,” she says.

8. Find deeper topics to engage with

Get over surface-level conversations and ask your partner questions other than “What’s for dinner?”

Kelly Sinning, a Colorado-based licensed professional counselor, likes to give her clients the homework of simply talking with each other.

“Oftentimes, we get so busy and caught up in the day-to-day needs, we don’t realize that we stop having conversations about anything else,” she explains.

9. Express appreciation

Expressing gratitude and communicating what works in your relationship can help strengthen your appreciation for one another.

“Make it a habit of expressing appreciation daily through in-person conversations, texts, or a sticky note in a place your partner will find it,” suggests Meagan Prost, a licensed professional clinical counselor at Center for Heart Intelligence.

10. Identify your partner’s love language

Just because you’re in a relationship, it doesn’t mean you experience love in the same way.

“The 5 Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman helps couples identify what makes them feel loved, so they can show up for each other.

The five love languages are based on the idea that each person has a preferred way of receiving love:

receiving gifts
acts of service
words of affirmation
quality time
physical touch

Take this online quiz with your partner to discover your love language and better understand each other.

11. Schedule important conversations

Are you looking to have an important or difficult discussion with your partner? Take it from the experts: Serious talks are best when you have a plan.

“We often engage in conflict because the timing is wrong, and we aren’t in a frame of mind where we can thoughtfully engage in conversation,” says Alisha Powell, PhD, LCSW, with Amethyst Counseling and Consulting.

She recommends scheduling tough conversations in advance, so no one is caught off guard.

12. Pencil in one-on-one time

While life can feel hectic, don’t let outside pressures override time with your partner.

“Scheduling an hour of ‘couples time’ to get intimate is a great start. Scheduling an hour of time to focus on topics that will help improve the relationship can be done several times a week or once a week,” says Grazel Garcia, LMFT.

13. Fill your intimacy bucket

As a couple and as individuals, understand that you both have intimacy needs.

Garcia calls this the “intimacy bucket,” which includes the following types of intimacy:

intellectual
experiential
social
emotional
sexual

Spend time finding exercises in each bucket. For example, you can explore a new hobby together or socialize with mutual friends on a Zoom game night.

14. Practice partner yoga

Consider teaming up with your partner for couples yoga.

Partner yoga allows you to balance together with your partner, establishing and strengthening trust as you flow through tandem moves.

A 2016 study found an association between higher levels of mindfulness and higher levels of relationship satisfaction. By synchronizing your breathing, you’ll be one with your partner during your practice — and the benefits may even exceed your yoga class.

15. The 6-second kiss

Don’t knock this technique before you try it. Dr. John Gottman, the founder of the Gottman Institute, advocates for the 6-second kiss. It’s a way for couples to add a dash of romance seamlessly throughout the day.

The kiss is just long enough to be passionate while also acting as a distraction from the busyness of the day.

16. Show interest in each other’s day

When was the last time you asked your partner what they were most excited about for the day?

Spending a few moments discussing your partner’s agenda and goals will help support them and make them feel cared for in your relationship.

With her clients, Prost finds that “curiosity can help your partner feel connected to you.”

17. Share a list of things you want from your partner

Write down three things your partner could do weekly that would make you happy. Share your list with one another while looking in each other’s eyes.

The lists may not be something your partner can do every day, but a reminder of things they can manage to do once a week to help build trust and communication.

“The point is that we all show and need affection in different ways, and honoring those differences is essential to feeling heard and understood,” says Nyro Murphy, LCPC.

18. Use an icebreaker

You might remember icebreakers from summer camp or work seminars, but this go-to conversation-starting game may help reinvigorate your relationship and teach you something new about your partner.

Reintroduce yourself to your partner by setting time to discuss icebreaker questions that dig beneath the surface.

19. Connect through music

Remember the days of making your school crush the ultimate mixtape?

A 2011 study found that shared music preferences create stronger social bonds.

Feel the nostalgia and curate your own playlist of songs that remind you of your partner and the moments you’ve shared. Swap your playlists, and get a peek into each other’s romantic side.

20. Start a book club for two

Reading can allow you to share an experience together at your own pace. Alternate the responsibility of choosing a book that’s grabbed your attention, and set a date to discuss it over dinner.

21. Eye gazing

Initiating long-held eye contact with your partner may help you two feel a stronger connection.

Prolonged eye contact can help you recognize emotions, build trust, and increase intimacy.

A 2018 study associated eye gazing with “self-other merging,” reducing the boundary between yourself and the other person to feel unity.

As the saying goes, the eyes are the window to the soul, so why not give it a try?

22.

Practice gratitude

Gratitude has many benefits, including boosting well-being for yourself and your relationship.

A 2017 study found that sharing gratitude with your partner increases oxytocin, a hormone that helps calm you and decrease stress. Researchers in the study found that gratitude led to a “greater experienced love.”

At the end of each day, take time to share three things you’re grateful for with your partner.

23. Increase your cuddle time

There’s a reason why cuddling with your partner feels so good: Cuddling causes your body to release oxytocin and reduces cortisol, the stress hormone.

What’s more, according to research from 2018, interpersonal touch from your partner could act as a stress buffer and may help lower resting blood pressure. This means that, if you’re feeling warm and fuzzy, your body is doing its job.

24. Invest in a therapy workbook

Find a couples therapy workbook in a book store or online, and take time each week to go through assigned activities with your partner.

Hsueh recommends her clients read and answer the question prompts in “Hold Me Tight” by Dr. Sue Johnson.

Hsueh also recommends “The Couple Home Lasting Connection System,” a workbook filled with exercises designed to help couples connect in “deeper, more meaningful ways.”

25. Unplug from your devices

According to a 2014 report by the Pew Research Center, 25 percent of participants in a serious relationship say cellphones distract their partner when they’re alone together.

Known as phone snubbing (or “phubbing”), focusing on your phone instead of your partner in a social setting could negatively affect your relationship over time.

If distraction and a feeling of absenteeism is infiltrating your relationship, experiment with setting aside time to fully unplug and communicate with each other.

If you’re in need of a relationship refresh, counseling may be a great option for you.

No matter your situation, you can benefit from participating in couples therapy and acquiring a toolkit to deepen your connection with your loved one.

“The benefits to couples therapy are endless. The mere act of seeking couples therapy can be a demonstration of the significance and importance you place on your relationship,” says Nikki Young, LMFT.

“My goal in couples therapy is to teach couples how to navigate life together as a team, so that ultimately they say, ‘Hey, thanks for the support, but we got it from here,’” she adds.

The perks of couples therapy can include:

having a third-party mediator to help facilitate constructive conversations
finding new ways to communicate with your partner
decreasing distress and conflict within your relationship
being intentional with your time and words
setting time to dedicate to the improvement of your relationship
creating a safe, calm space in therapy to discuss difficult topics
practicing techniques to enhance emotional and physical intimacy
forming action plans to make your relationship a priority
identifying harmful or damaging patterns in your relationship and working around them
rebuilding trust with one another
establishing healthy boundaries in your relationship
having a therapist who can identify underlying issues and emotions you might not be aware exist
discovering and developing valuable skills to manage conflict
finding common ground and learning to relate to each other in a loving, kind way
feeling supported and listened to in your relationship
building skills to identify your needs and wants in a relationship

When it comes to committing to couples therapy, partners can start therapy for any reason that’s causing conflict, distress, or mistrust.

Couples may seek therapy to:

rebuild trust after infidelity or deceit
enhance physical and emotional intimacy if you’re feeling unsatisfied
overcome trauma
go through a transition together, like parenthood or a big move
navigate conflicting views on how to parent
help manage substance use disorder recovery for one or both partners
learn more about the relationship
gain stability when feeling lost in the busyness of life
get support when grieving the loss of a loved one
have fun within your relationship and reignite your spark
resolve conflict in a rational way
define the significance and seriousness of a relationship with the help of a third party
work through infertility
help with blended families and step-parenting
navigate career pressures and job changes
handle financial problems

“Oftentimes, couples wait to seek therapy until they have reached a point of crisis within their relationship. And while this is likely a fitting time to seek couples therapy, please consult with a provider to ensure couples counseling is the right avenue of support,” Young says.

But in dangerous or dire situations, mental health professionals may advise another path.

“There are times when couples therapy is not indicated, such as situations of characterological domestic violence or an ongoing affair. In situations such as these, the therapist will likely recommend individual counseling instead,” she says.

Most couples can benefit from counseling to improve communication, overcome obstacles, and maintain a healthy relationship.

Couples therapy can also help provide support if you’re working through specific issues within your relationship, such as infidelity, substance abuse, or infertility.

You may also want to consider couples therapy if you are hoping to improve other aspects of your relationship, such as communication, intimacy, or conflict resolution.

It could also be beneficial for couples navigating other stressful periods in life, such as getting married, having a baby, moving, or changing career paths.

Before your first therapy session, your therapist may provide you with some paperwork regarding fees, office policies, and other ethical or legal considerations.

You and your partner may also be asked to fill out an intake form to provide basic information like your name, address, insurance details, and medical history.

The first few sessions of couples therapy generally involve discussing the details of your relationship, along with what you hope to work on during therapy.

Your therapist will also likely help you identify areas of improvement, set goals for your relationship, and establish a personalized treatment plan to maximize your results from therapy.

It’s important to discuss with your partner which factors are most important to each of you when looking for a therapist and whether either of you have any preferences regarding the gender, cultural background, location, or specialty of your provider.

Asking for a referral from friends, family members, or other medical professionals can be a great starting place to find a couples therapist.

There are also many websites available that provide lists of mental health professionals in your area, including the Healthline FindCare tool. These tools typically allow you to filter providers based on gender, language, the forms of therapy offered, and the types of insurance they accept.

You may also want to consider using an online couples therapy platform, which can be a convenient and affordable alternative to in-person therapy.

Here are some of our top picks:

ReGain: a great option for flexible scheduling
Talkspace:around-the-clock counseling through messaging
Pride Counseling: specialist services for the LGBTQIA+ community
Our Relationship: caters to military and veteran couples
Couples Therapy Inc.: support for couples recovering from infidelity
Bound Together Counseling: sex and relationship counseling
Thriveworks: insurance may cover these services, and it’s in-network with most policies

Will couples therapists recommend divorce?

Generally, no, couples therapists won’t recommend divorce. A therapist aims to help couples work through their issues and improve their relationship by providing a safe space for communication, guiding them in conflict resolution, and establishing emotional intimacy.

Divorce is a serious decision that should only be made after careful consideration of all the possible ramifications.

Can couples therapy make things worse?

Couples therapy can make things worse if the couple is not ready or willing to address the issues that brought them to therapy. If one or both partners are not fully committed to the relationship or are not interested in resolving the issues, then couples therapy can do more harm than good.

If there’s a lot of anger, resentment, and bitterness between the couple, then it can be very difficult to address these issues constructively in therapy. When people are unwilling to open up and share their feelings honestly with the other, then the therapy sessions can quickly become frustrating and unproductive.

However, if both partners are willing to work on the relationship and are committed to making things better, then couples therapy can be an extremely effective tool in helping couples resolve the issues causing problems in their relationship.

What’s the difference between relationship therapy and relationship counseling?

Relationship therapy and relationship counseling are both types of therapy that aim to improve communication and resolve conflict in a relationship. However, there are some key differences between the two.

Relationship counseling is typically focused on helping couples deal with present events and may also be used to prepare people for a healthy, strong marriage.

Relationship therapy, on the other hand, can be useful for couples at any stage in their relationship. Some of the techniques may be similar to marriage counseling, but people deal with problems that have a history and have created unhealthy patterns of relating. Therapists look for the reasons behind the emotions that drive these patterns and work with the couple to change them.

Relationship therapy can be an incredibly effective way to improve a relationship, but both partners must be committed to the process and willing to work on their issues.

No problem is too big or small for therapy, especially with the help of an experienced licensed professional.

From feeling disconnected to your partner to overcoming infidelity, exercises and techniques developed by licensed therapists can rehabilitate your relationship and improve your communication skills.

Jillian Goltzman is a freelance journalist covering culture, social impact, wellness, and lifestyle. She’s been published in various outlets, including Cosmopolitan, Glamour, and Fodor’s Travel Guide. Outside of writing, Jillian is a public speaker who loves discussing the power of social media — something she spends too much time on. She enjoys reading, her houseplants, and cuddling with her corgi. Find her work on her website, blog, Twitter, and Instagram.

25 Best Couples Therapy Techniques to Try in 2022

Share on PinterestMaskot/Getty Images

We include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Here’s our process.

While social media is an ongoing highlight reel, the reality is that having problems as a couple is common. Many couples face conflicts and find comfort in guidance from a licensed therapist.

If you’re interested in trying couples therapy or wondering whether it’s a fit for you, we rounded up the best techniques and exercises to get started.

Every relationship has conflict. Learning how to handle your conflicts can not only patch up your issues, but it can also make your relationship much stronger.

Like any form of therapy, couples counseling requires a commitment and willingness to open up from both involved parties.

According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, more than 98 percent of its clients surveyed reported marriage and family therapy services as good or excellent.

When committing to couples therapy, come with an open mind, and be ready to break down the barriers of communication.

Online resources and telehealth has made couples therapy more accessible than ever.

If you’re looking to engage in self-improvement and enhance your relationship, there’s many techniques and exercises at your fingertips.

1. Reflective listening

“Reflective listening is a highly beneficial exercise where the couple take turns being active listeners,” says Laura Louis, a licensed psychologist at Atlanta Couple Therapy.

Use “I” phrases instead of “you” statements. For example, say “I feel hurt when you do [X]” instead of “You’re wrong for doing [X].”

“When couples take turns being active listeners, it boosts healthy communication skills as well as conflict resolution skills for the couple,” Louis says.

2. Emotionally focused therapy

Many therapists use a method called emotionally focused therapy (EFT), which has been shown to facilitate long lasting behavior changes.

People “learn and utilize techniques to heal or create safe and secure attachments within the relationship,” she explains.

3. Narrative therapy

“There will always be inconsistencies and contradictions,” says Sam Nabil, the CEO and lead therapist at Naya Clinics.

4. Gottman Method

5. Imago relationship therapy

Imago relationship therapy, developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt in 1980, emphasizes the connection between adult relationships and childhood experiences.

By understanding childhood trauma, the therapy is aimed at making couples more empathetic and understanding of one another.

6. Solution-focused therapy

If you’re dealing with a particular issue, experiencing burnout, or trying to work toward a specific goal, solution-focused therapy is a model to consider.

7. Get crafty

“Having a physically visible vision board can help remind you of your shared desires and goals for when you are having issues within the relationship,” Louis says.

She advises couples to get crafty by writing down goals and collecting pictures that embody their relationship desires.

“It’s a tangible reminder that a marriage is a work in progress, and that it takes hard work and time on both ends to create a strong, healthy, and long lasting relationship,” she says.

8. Find deeper topics to engage with

Get over surface-level conversations and ask your partner questions other than “What’s for dinner?”

Kelly Sinning, a Colorado-based licensed professional counselor, likes to give her clients the homework of simply talking with each other.

“Oftentimes, we get so busy and caught up in the day-to-day needs, we don’t realize that we stop having conversations about anything else,” she explains.

9. Express appreciation

Expressing gratitude and communicating what works in your relationship can help strengthen your appreciation for one another.

10. Identify your partner’s love language

Just because you’re in a relationship, it doesn’t mean you experience love in the same way.

“The 5 Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman helps couples identify what makes them feel loved, so they can show up for each other.

The five love languages are based on the idea that each person has a preferred way of receiving love:

receiving gifts
acts of service
words of affirmation
quality time
physical touch

Take this online quiz with your partner to discover your love language and better understand each other.

11. Schedule important conversations

Are you looking to have an important or difficult discussion with your partner? Take it from the experts: Serious talks are best when you have a plan.

She recommends scheduling tough conversations in advance, so no one is caught off guard.

12. Pencil in one-on-one time

While life can feel hectic, don’t let outside pressures override time with your partner.

13. Fill your intimacy bucket

As a couple and as individuals, understand that you both have intimacy needs.

Garcia calls this the “intimacy bucket,” which includes the following types of intimacy:

intellectual
experiential
social
emotional
sexual

Spend time finding exercises in each bucket. For example, you can explore a new hobby together or socialize with mutual friends on a Zoom game night.

14. Practice partner yoga

Consider teaming up with your partner for couples yoga.

Partner yoga allows you to balance together with your partner, establishing and strengthening trust as you flow through tandem moves.

15. The 6-second kiss

The kiss is just long enough to be passionate while also acting as a distraction from the busyness of the day.

16. Show interest in each other’s day

When was the last time you asked your partner what they were most excited about for the day?

Spending a few moments discussing your partner’s agenda and goals will help support them and make them feel cared for in your relationship.

With her clients, Prost finds that “curiosity can help your partner feel connected to you.”

17. Share a list of things you want from your partner

Write down three things your partner could do weekly that would make you happy. Share your list with one another while looking in each other’s eyes.

The lists may not be something your partner can do every day, but a reminder of things they can manage to do once a week to help build trust and communication.

“The point is that we all show and need affection in different ways, and honoring those differences is essential to feeling heard and understood,” says Nyro Murphy, LCPC.

18. Use an icebreaker

You might remember icebreakers from summer camp or work seminars, but this go-to conversation-starting game may help reinvigorate your relationship and teach you something new about your partner.

Reintroduce yourself to your partner by setting time to discuss icebreaker questions that dig beneath the surface.

19. Connect through music

Remember the days of making your school crush the ultimate mixtape?

A 2011 study found that shared music preferences create stronger social bonds.

Feel the nostalgia and curate your own playlist of songs that remind you of your partner and the moments you’ve shared. Swap your playlists, and get a peek into each other’s romantic side.

20. Start a book club for two

Reading can allow you to share an experience together at your own pace. Alternate the responsibility of choosing a book that’s grabbed your attention, and set a date to discuss it over dinner.

21. Eye gazing

Initiating long-held eye contact with your partner may help you two feel a stronger connection.

Prolonged eye contact can help you recognize emotions, build trust, and increase intimacy.

A 2018 study associated eye gazing with “self-other merging,” reducing the boundary between yourself and the other person to feel unity.

As the saying goes, the eyes are the window to the soul, so why not give it a try?

22.

Practice gratitude

Gratitude has many benefits, including boosting well-being for yourself and your relationship.

At the end of each day, take time to share three things you’re grateful for with your partner.

23. Increase your cuddle time

There’s a reason why cuddling with your partner feels so good: Cuddling causes your body to release oxytocin and reduces cortisol, the stress hormone.

24. Invest in a therapy workbook

Find a couples therapy workbook in a book store or online, and take time each week to go through assigned activities with your partner.

Hsueh recommends her clients read and answer the question prompts in “Hold Me Tight” by Dr. Sue Johnson.

Hsueh also recommends “The Couple Home Lasting Connection System,” a workbook filled with exercises designed to help couples connect in “deeper, more meaningful ways.”

25. Unplug from your devices

According to a 2014 report by the Pew Research Center, 25 percent of participants in a serious relationship say cellphones distract their partner when they’re alone together.

Known as phone snubbing (or “phubbing”), focusing on your phone instead of your partner in a social setting could negatively affect your relationship over time.

If distraction and a feeling of absenteeism is infiltrating your relationship, experiment with setting aside time to fully unplug and communicate with each other.

If you’re in need of a relationship refresh, counseling may be a great option for you.

No matter your situation, you can benefit from participating in couples therapy and acquiring a toolkit to deepen your connection with your loved one.

“My goal in couples therapy is to teach couples how to navigate life together as a team, so that ultimately they say, ‘Hey, thanks for the support, but we got it from here,’” she adds.

The perks of couples therapy can include:

having a third-party mediator to help facilitate constructive conversations
finding new ways to communicate with your partner
decreasing distress and conflict within your relationship
being intentional with your time and words
setting time to dedicate to the improvement of your relationship
creating a safe, calm space in therapy to discuss difficult topics
practicing techniques to enhance emotional and physical intimacy
forming action plans to make your relationship a priority
identifying harmful or damaging patterns in your relationship and working around them
rebuilding trust with one another
establishing healthy boundaries in your relationship
having a therapist who can identify underlying issues and emotions you might not be aware exist
discovering and developing valuable skills to manage conflict
finding common ground and learning to relate to each other in a loving, kind way
feeling supported and listened to in your relationship
building skills to identify your needs and wants in a relationship

When it comes to committing to couples therapy, partners can start therapy for any reason that’s causing conflict, distress, or mistrust.

Couples may seek therapy to:

rebuild trust after infidelity or deceit
enhance physical and emotional intimacy if you’re feeling unsatisfied
overcome trauma
go through a transition together, like parenthood or a big move
navigate conflicting views on how to parent
help manage substance use disorder recovery for one or both partners
learn more about the relationship
gain stability when feeling lost in the busyness of life
get support when grieving the loss of a loved one
have fun within your relationship and reignite your spark
resolve conflict in a rational way
define the significance and seriousness of a relationship with the help of a third party
work through infertility
help with blended families and step-parenting
navigate career pressures and job changes
handle financial problems

But in dangerous or dire situations, mental health professionals may advise another path.

Most couples can benefit from counseling to improve communication, overcome obstacles, and maintain a healthy relationship.

Couples therapy can also help provide support if you’re working through specific issues within your relationship, such as infidelity, substance abuse, or infertility.

You may also want to consider couples therapy if you are hoping to improve other aspects of your relationship, such as communication, intimacy, or conflict resolution.

It could also be beneficial for couples navigating other stressful periods in life, such as getting married, having a baby, moving, or changing career paths.

Before your first therapy session, your therapist may provide you with some paperwork regarding fees, office policies, and other ethical or legal considerations.

You and your partner may also be asked to fill out an intake form to provide basic information like your name, address, insurance details, and medical history.

The first few sessions of couples therapy generally involve discussing the details of your relationship, along with what you hope to work on during therapy.

Your therapist will also likely help you identify areas of improvement, set goals for your relationship, and establish a personalized treatment plan to maximize your results from therapy.

Asking for a referral from friends, family members, or other medical professionals can be a great starting place to find a couples therapist.

You may also want to consider using an online couples therapy platform, which can be a convenient and affordable alternative to in-person therapy.

Here are some of our top picks:

ReGain: a great option for flexible scheduling
Talkspace:around-the-clock counseling through messaging
Pride Counseling: specialist services for the LGBTQIA+ community
Our Relationship: caters to military and veteran couples
Couples Therapy Inc.: support for couples recovering from infidelity
Bound Together Counseling: sex and relationship counseling
Thriveworks: insurance may cover these services, and it’s in-network with most policies

Will couples therapists recommend divorce?

Divorce is a serious decision that should only be made after careful consideration of all the possible ramifications.

Can couples therapy make things worse?

What’s the difference between relationship therapy and relationship counseling?

Relationship counseling is typically focused on helping couples deal with present events and may also be used to prepare people for a healthy, strong marriage.

Relationship therapy can be an incredibly effective way to improve a relationship, but both partners must be committed to the process and willing to work on their issues.

No problem is too big or small for therapy, especially with the help of an experienced licensed professional.

From feeling disconnected to your partner to overcoming infidelity, exercises and techniques developed by licensed therapists can rehabilitate your relationship and improve your communication skills.

How to prepare for your first marriage consultation

In this article

So what to expect from your first couples therapy session?
Settle in
Prepare Yourself Mentally
Marriage Counseling - What Can't Be Said
Patience Is the Key

Counseling does no harm.

Seeking marriage counseling in the first year of marriage is something that should be normalized and not seen as taboo. Sometimes our conscience won't let us breathe easy because of a problematic or toxic relationship we're stuck in.

With that said, the bottom line is that marriage counseling is critical. It releases the burden that has weighed on the person for a long time and releases the negative energy that is stuck with them just because they could not open up.

But the question is how to prepare for the first marriage consultation?

Opening up to a stranger is different than opening up to a friend you trust with your life. Therefore, counseling is important in any relationship. There are times when a marriage becomes ugly and is on the verge of breaking up, then going for a consultation is not a bad idea at all.

So what to expect from your first couples therapy session?

To be clear and specific, a couple needs counseling when the two parties can no longer solve their problems and want a third party to intervene with the express intention of helping and solving.

Imagine a married couple who have lived their best lives, left unforgettable memories, but now the time has come when they are too easily confused, or the couple together cannot stand each other in a quarrel.

However, the question is not why a couple needs counseling, the question has already been resolved in order to get counseling, now how to prepare for first marriage counseling and what to ask a couples counselor?

Now that you have chosen marriage counseling, you may have other questions, such as how long does a marriage counseling session last or what not to say in marriage counseling? Let's see!

Settle in at

Of course, when it comes to how to prepare for first marriage counseling, getting settled is key.

In the first session, the therapist will ask you basic questions in a marriage counseling session. Questions about the couple's marital status, the couple's history, what prompted them to seek therapy in the first place, and so on.

Therefore, in the first session, it is likely that the therapist will carefully study the relationship of the couple, so try to adapt and go with the flow. It may be that the therapist prefers to talk to the couple one at a time rather than both parties together. This may seem a little harsh when you watch a third party solve their problems, but the anger and annoyance are real.

Arrangement requires effort and patience.

Mentally prepare yourself

Life throws you into situations where you have to make difficult decisions. A couple agreeing to counseling is no easy task. The private no longer remains private, it originates and penetrates into the public sphere, which at first is very difficult to digest.

Once you have booked the time and day, mentally prepare for a potential question the therapist may ask. Keep reminding yourself that consultation is necessary because both parties are not in the right headspace to end or discuss all of this.

The couple should prepare mentally or find ways to prepare for couples counseling to answer uncomfortable or uncomfortable questions from the therapist in a family counseling session.

Marriage Counseling - What Can't Be Said

The least a couple can do is radiate positive energy throughout the entire counseling session.

One chose the session because he wanted to remove or destroy any obstacles in his relationship. Therefore, one way to prepare for couples counseling is to try to resolve misunderstandings and try to eliminate negative tensions between the two parties.

Seeking help from a third party to improve relationships is not a bad idea. Just be together in this and be each other's solid rock during these unfavorable times.

Patience is the key

The next step when it comes to how to prepare for first marriage counseling is to be patient. Some couples may have been together for a while, while others are more recently married.

The length of the marriage also matters. The conflict between the two parties may not be resolved initially, and breaks in communication may increase or decrease after the session. It depends on how well the couple handles the situation.

The therapist will tell you about problems, but the willingness to solve them depends on the spouses themselves. So be patient with the whole process. It's okay to experience major breakdowns, panic attacks, mood swings, or simply cling to the idea of giving up, and that's okay.

It is not abnormal to experience the lowest points during a counseling session.

Come to terms with it and try to come to terms with it. Be patient, and patience is certainly a virtue!

Methods and techniques used in family counseling

Psychotherapy ↓

Traditionally, the main method of psychological counseling is the interview, ie. therapeutic conversation aimed at the socio-psychological support of the family and help to her. However, today in the practice of counseling (including family counseling), all the richness of methods and techniques developed in various psychotherapeutic schools is widely used: dialogical communication, behavioral methods, psychodrama and role modeling, Kelly repertoire grids, analysis of family history, genogram, as well as group therapy methods. To provide feedback, video recordings and such psychotechnics as “sociogram in action”, “family sculpture”, “family choreography” are used (they are something similar to “live pictures”, when family members, choosing poses and locations in space, try to depict their relationships in statics or dynamics).

The choice of methods and contact techniques is largely determined by the level at which the consultation process is carried out. It is customary to distinguish external and internal levels of counseling.

Work on the outer level is quite sufficient for solving shallow-seated personal and family problems. It is often used at the first meeting (especially when counseling a couple). Here, technologies for creating helping relationships developed in humanistic psychology (K. Rogers, F. Vasilyuk and others) are widely used. The trusting relationship that this creates creates an openness that helps each member of the family to say what's on their mind and express their true feelings. This is the first step towards clarifying the problem, a step towards yourself and the other person.

Various techniques developed in behavioral psychology are also used at this level. In particular, the behavioral modification of "contract therapy", when spouses agree to reward each other for the behavior they expect from a partner.

At a deeper level (when working with problems of codependency, redistribution of power, etc.), when it is necessary to influence less conscious processes, methods developed in psychoanalysis, gestalt therapy and psychodrama are used.

Such eclecticism is quite appropriate, but only under certain conditions.

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