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Broken and lost


Why Do I Feel Broken And How Can I Snap Out Of It?

Before we start, you are not broken, and you are not alone if you feel stress or strain that’s affecting your life. No matter what your age, background, or education level, there are times when we all have negative thoughts or feel emotionally drained and mentally exhausted.  For some people, it can cause feelings of being broken and it may be difficult to know how to deal with those emotions. 

Television, magazines, and social media often show representations of “the perfect life” with people who seem to have everything together. Fit bodies, nice homes, and expensive vacations are the image that many people see and, unfortunately, often compare themselves to. All of this comparison has the potential to make someone feel bad about themselves.

Realistically, however, no one experiences perfection in every, or any, aspect of life every single day.  If you have found yourself feeling less than adequate, or broken, you may wonder why and may want to know how you can snap out of those feelings.

The reasons for feeling broken vary from person to person. Some people feel broken because of things they experienced in childhood or after the loss of a friend or loved one.  Others may feel broken after losing a job or a home, or even after experiencing a serious illness.

Although it may feel overwhelming, or even frightening, it’s important to know that you are not alone.  Everyone deals with feelings of brokenness and pain.  Being able to recognize these feelings and knowing when to seek help so that you can heal from the hurt and live an emotionally healthy life is crucial for you long-term wellbeing and happiness.

Signs Of Feeling Broken

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Feeling down or “broken” can be really hard to cope with alone, but a therapist can help. In therapy, you can gain a better understanding of the “broken” feeling and figure out ways to improve your happiness. On top of that, a therapist can help with anxiety, relationships, or fostering more helpful habits to make changes to your overall lifestyle. Experiencing pain is a normal part of our life experiences from time to time.  We live in a world that is fast-paced and often unpredictable.  At times, it can cause you to feel overwhelmed and unsure of what to expect next in life.

Feeling overwhelming sadness, stress, or having altered eating or sleeping patterns are not uncommon in people who express feeling broken. Some people report feeling physical symptoms, such as body aches and digestive issues. Feelings of guilt, shame, or difficulty concentrating are also signs of emotional strain. If you think “I feel broken,” you might notice these signs in your mind or body. Excessive crying and numbness or irritability could also take place. If these symptoms persevere, they may be indicators of a depressive episode or disorder.

Reasons You Might Feel Broken

Feeling broken usually means that you feel like there’s something you don’t know how to change but want to; there are usually additional words or thought patterns that can help you get a fuller picture of what’s going on and how to address it. Though this is only a small list of possibilities, feeling broken may more accurately indicate:

  1. Low Self-Esteem. Low self-esteem can lead to feeling broken, as low self-esteem can make you feel as if there is something uniquely wrong with you. Low self-esteem might make you feel as though you have some sort of tragic flaw and that you are uniquely unlovable and unfixable. This is not true, and heightened self-esteem can be established in time.
  2. Underdeveloped Communication Skills. Not knowing how to communicate your wants and needs can be tough in today’s world. It may lead to taking on more than you can handle, which can cause overwhelm, or it could cause issues, like resentment, in interpersonal relationships.
  3. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: While some people may experience a traumatic event and have no long-term symptoms, others may develop a mental illness like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD is a mental illness that involves an emotional response to a traumatic event, such as abuse*, neglect, witnessing a natural disaster or being exposed to combat.   It can cause one to feel overwhelmed and experience symptoms that negatively influence their ability to complete daily tasks.  Although PTSD is a serious condition, it is possible to get help and learn to manage the symptoms and learn to cope effectively.
  4. Inadequate Support Systems. Inadequate support systems can make it difficult to overcome any obstacles you might face, which can lead to feeling as though you are broken. With the proper emotional support systems in place, however, you are far less likely to feel this way because you know you are loved by many people in your life.
  5. Difficulty Coping. Inadequate coping skills can also make you feel as though you are broken because you may struggle to handle the demands of daily life. This doesn’t mean you are broken, though; it simply means you need to learn more effective, healthy coping skills. Inadequate coping skills can sometimes interact with disorders such as substance use disorders or eating disorders**, and new skills are often discovered in treatment. Substance use treatment options may include inpatient rehab, counseling, or a combination of both, depending on your specific needs. Please contact SAMHSA by phone at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) or visit the SAMHSA website for resources and treatment information.

*Please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) if you witness or experience abuse of any kind.

**Eating disorders are complex, but help is out there. Please contact the NEDA hotline at 1-800-931-2237 Monday-Thursday from 11 AM-9 PM EST or on Fridays from 9 AM - 5 PM or use the online chat option on their website.

For some, one of the most important steps in dealing with brokenness is learning to accept that, although you cannot control everything that happens in your life, you can learn to control how you respond to events and to cope with things that cause pain in a healthy way.

Also, in addition to PTSD and substance use disorders, other concerns, like depression, anxiety, and other conditions, could instigate symptoms that lead to feeling less than optimal. These conditions, to be clear, do not mean that someone’s broken. They can be treated with the care of a mental health professional. Remember, feeling as though you don’t know how to change something that’s going on in your life doesn’t mean that change isn’t possible. You can move forward from this feeling, and that’s true even if you don’t have the answer when it comes to how to stop feeling that way right now.

Moving Away From Brokenness

Self-compassion matters. There are steps you can take to make yourself feel more whole, even in the midst of a storm of fear and self-doubt. Brokenness usually feels insurmountable when you are in the middle of it, but feeling broken for a short time does not mean you’ll feel that way forever.  Instead, feeling broken can be a temporary stop on your way to healing; acknowledging the feelings could even be the first step to a life that feels like something better. Here are some self-care practices you can implement into your life so that you can more resiliently move through the ups and downs of this journey.

Take Deep Breaths. Before you allow yourself to fall into a spiral of self-doubt and fear, take some time to breathe. Breathe in deeply, using your diaphragm, and then exhale deeply until you’ve released as much air as possible. Deep breaths can bring calm, allowing you to think more clearly about yourself and your situation. This is an in-the-moment coping skill more than an ongoing solution, but it’s a good one to keep in your toolbox.

Practice Acceptance. For a few moments, allow yourself to feel. Feel the sadness, fear, doubt, or whatever negative thoughts that may be rising up, and accept that it is how you are feeling in that moment without accepting that it is true or factual. Feelings can be addressed and deserve to be addressed even if they are not facts; they are there to tell you something and help you care for yourself. It may help to accept that you may not always have positive thoughts. Even though making other people happy may give you a sense of fulfillment, it is just as important to care for yourself and to accept that your needs are important.  

Identify Your Strengths. Even in the darkest times, you have strengths. Your strength might not feel like much, and it can be as simple as being able to get up in the morning and feed your cat, but it can be something to celebrate when you are going through a hard time. In that case, being able to get up in the morning is a strength! Being able to brush your teeth gets a checkmark, too. You can also recognize things like personality traits as strengths, but don’t hesitate to celebrate the (seemingly) small stuff.

Practice Gratitude. Look around you and notice at least one thing you can feel grateful for. Again, this might be something as small as the sunlight warming your arm through a window or the ability to walk from your bed to the fridge each morning. Whatever it is, find at least one thing – however small it may seem – to be grateful for. While not a cure, it can be supplemental and positive for your health.

Develop A Support System.   Feelings of brokenness can feel worse if you isolate yourself from others.  While you may not feel like opening yourself up to several people, it is important to have a support system of at least a few people who you can talk with and count on for emotional support and encouragement.  Talk to a trusted friend or family member.  You may want to seek the counsel of a minister or other religious mentor or consult with a counselor or therapist.  Additionally, joining a support group may be helpful.

Seek Professional Help. Feeling broken may indicate a need for a professional therapist’s help. This is true if symptoms make it tough to function on a daily basis or if you’re not sure that life is worth living. Feeling broken can turn into feeling depressed, so it’s not a feeling that should be taken lightly. If it’s persistent, seek help from a therapist. Many of the tips used above are best in conjunction with therapy, and it is not just okay but human to need help. Asking for support is a way to help yourself. Therapy doesn’t replace crisis care and is a process, but it’s one that’s worthwhile and proven effective for many life concerns.

Improving Your Self-Worth

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For some, feeling broken pairs with low self-esteem or self-worth. Learning to truly understand your worth and believing you are valuable may help alleviate some feelings of brokenness in that scenario. Improving self-esteem is a process and it must be deliberate to be effective. Put forth intentional efforts to focus on something positive about yourself and your life each day. It may be as simple as reminding yourself that you are a good friend, or that you are a good cook. Try to improve one area of your life monthly or weekly. For example, you may want to learn to organize things in your house so that you feel more in control of your environment. Speak positive affirmations into your own life. For instance, tell yourself, “I am worthy,” “I will not allow brokenness to control my life,” “I am good enough.” Although these steps may seem small, they can have a powerful impact on your emotional well-being with time and consistency.

How BetterHelp Can Help When You Feel Broken

In some instances, a counselor is the most likely source of help when you are feeling broken and overwhelmed. Counselors can help you create a self-treatment regimen that supports increased self-esteem and a healthier self-image, which may lessen the likelihood of feeling broken. A therapist can also help you improve communication skills in order to develop and cultivate a stronger support system.

Online therapy is extremely useful for people who are undergoing a rough patch, as online therapists may be able to respond to messages more quickly than a therapist who operates entirely out of an office. Online therapy can also allow you to speak to a therapist from the privacy and comfort of your own home. BetterHelp makes it easy to start working with a therapist faster in many cases, and it’s also often a more affordable opportunity to access services.

Below, some BetterHelp users describe their experiences.

Counselor Reviews

“All my life, I felt broken and incomplete. Donamarie helped me find the missing pieces of myself I didn’t know existed and I am better off than I’ve ever been. I can’t thank her enough for her help.”

“I finished my journey for now with Waynette and it was difficult, but awesome. I was feeling pretty broken when I started and not even sure life was worth the effort it took. She helped me find my way back to a place of happiness and now I can again enjoy participating in life with the ones I care about and who care about me. I felt all alone when I started, but you really made me feel like I had an ally and helped me walk through some very difficult trauma from my past in order to find some closure. Thank you, Waynette, for your kindness, support, and wisdom. I don’t think I could have gotten through it all without it.”

Moving Forward

It can be difficult to move past feelings of brokenness. When you feel as though you don’t deserve to get help, it can be difficult to move past your feelings and improve your day-to-day routine. With a little bit of help, however, you can not only leave behind feeling broken, but you can also improve your self-image, build your self-worth, and create a life that excites you. Take the first step today.

Here are some commonly asked questions about the subject:

What does it mean to feel broken?
What do you do if you feel broken?
How do you know if you are broken mentally?
What does it mean to be mentally broken?
What does it mean if a person is broken?
How do you tell if a woman is damaged?
How can I bring my life back?
Why do I feel broken hearted?
How do you fix a mentally broken person?
What are the 5 signs of emotional suffering?

7 Things To Remember When You Feel Broken Inside

I have been broken many times in my life. I have had life deliver blows that have knocked me to the ground. The pain and the feelings of hopelessness and despair have consumed my life for many months. I wondered if I would ever survive this, or if I would live a life where I felt happy and safe. Slowly, over time, my life got better and I got stronger.

Now when I look back, I realize that these events, though they were painful at the time, were the catalysts for me to change my life. Now I am living my life doing what I love – writing, speaking and coaching.

For us to live our lives to the fullest, the only way we can achieve this is by overcoming the challenges that life throws at us. We have to experience the pain, the betrayal, the adversity, the feelings of hopelessness and the despair in life, because how else do we learn about who we are?

There is no other way for us to learn how to be resilient, courageous, hopeful and optimistic about life and our future.

Though we do not like it, everyone feels broken at some point in their life journey. Often when we find ourselves at this place of despair, we do not know what to do and so we can end up living our life through our fear, regret, pain, disillusionment and sadness. This is not the way our lives are meant to be lived.

When you feel demotivated, try the free Fast-Track Class – Activate Your Motivation, a free session that will help you find your drive for life so you will not lose motivation again easily.

When you are feeling broken inside, remember these 7 things as they will help you discover your courage and build your resilience so that you can step out and embrace the joy of living a life you love.

1. Remember to Accept and Anticipate Change

“It is not the most intellectual of the species that survives; it is not the strongest that survives; but the species that survives is the one that is able best to adapt and adjust to the changing environment in which it finds itself.”  — Dr Leon C. Megginson

In today’s world of constant change, it is hard to hold on to who you are and manage the complexity and unpredictability of life. The one constant thing in our lives today is change.

Instead of fighting the inevitability of change, learn how to accept it. Embrace change and know that by doing this your life can only get better.

Resisting change will fuel the negative energy that keeps you feeling broken and discouraged about life.

2. Remember to Embrace Your Power Of Choice

“Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain… To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it.” — Kevyn Aucion

Using your power of choice will enable you to change your approach to life from one where you languish in pain to one where you flourish with joy and hope.

Using your power of choice empowers and strengthens your ability to take action and to make decisions.

Your power of choice is a gift that you have within you that if you choose to use, will transform your life.

3. Remember to Ask For Help

“Asking for help does not mean that we are weak or incompetent. It usually indicates an advanced level of honesty and intelligence.”  Anne Wilson Schaef

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. When we are feeling so broken inside, we want to hide away from the world. Sometimes, it is because we feel embarrassed, or we believe that people won’t understand what we are going through.

The support, advice and encouragement from others helps us to overcome adversity and solve problems in our life.

It is the energy and wisdom from friends, family and supporters that fuels our courage and our desire to take action to change our lives for the better.

4. Remember to Be Present

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” — Mother Teresa

Your thoughts fuel how you feel about your life. When you feel broken in your life, it will be your negative thoughts that dictate your feelings of sadness, disillusionment and unhappiness. When you feel joy and happiness, your positive thoughts of hope and self belief will support more of these feelings.

The key to managing your negative thoughts is to practice trying to distance yourself from these thoughts and observe them rather than react automatically to them.

Identify those thoughts that will draw you in and create confusion and inertia within you. Accept that these thoughts do not serve you well and work towards having more control over them.

Label the type of thought you are having rather than paying attention to its content. Observe your thoughts and if you notice a thought that is judging (how good or bad the situation is), label it “judging”.

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If you are criticizing yourself for doing something wrong, then label that thought “criticizing”. Then, ask yourself how long you want to spend criticizing and blaming yourself. My suggestion is that you spend zero time doing this activity.

Some tips for you: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying

5. Remember to Focus on What Brings You Joy

“Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain” — Joseph Campbell

When you are feeling despair, frustration and hopelessness, it is easy to forget the good things that are happening in your life. In fact, if you are consumed by negativity, you will start to believe that there is nothing good in your life.

Focusing on what in your life is good and what brings you joy is an important step to you changing your life. The more you focus on the good in your life, the more hopeful you become.

Positivity and hope are contagious and the more you celebrate this, the better you will feel about your life. Here’re some inspirations for you: 32 Things You Should Be Grateful For

6. Remember to Be Hopeful about Your Future

“The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time” — Abraham Lincoln

It is understandable that when you feel broken in life, you can become consumed by the concern that this is what your life will be like forever. It is very hard to be hopeful about the future when you feel so much pain and heartache. However, your pain and heartache will not heal you and deep down inside, you want to be healed – you just don’t know how.

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For me, when I felt  broken in my life, the one thing that helped me on my journey of healing was to try and keep hopeful about my future. It was important for me to keep perspective on the fact that what was happening in my life at the time was not a part of my future life. That tiny bit of hope I had about my future was enough for me to slowly start to heal — step by step.

7. Remember to Accept That Life Is a Mystery

“The mystery of life is not a problem to be solved; it is a reality to be experienced” — Jacobus Johannes Leeuw

Life is a funny thing and the more we fight and resist it, the harder it is to live our life. Accepting and embracing the mystery of life allows us to heal and look at our pain as only one chapter of many chapters in our life.

Life throws us curve balls. It tests us and challenges us. We survive and thrive in life by embracing these challenges so that we can grow and live courageous and resilient lives.

When we feel broken inside, we need to remember that this is part of our journey and that there is no escaping the pain. We just have to work our way through the pain and despair.

Instead of fighting and questioning life and blaming yourself for how you feel, take a deep breath and remember that life is a mystery. Do not make the moments of despair and unhappiness in your life as foundations for how you will live your life forever.

Your role in life is to embrace it – the good the bad and the ugly and to live your life to its fullest – so go live it!

“Ester asked why people are sad. “That’s simple,” says the old man. “They are the prisoners of their personal history. Everyone believes that the main aim in life is to follow a plan. They never ask if that plan is theirs or if it was created by another person. They accumulate experiences, memories, things, other people’s ideas, and it is more than they can possibly cope with. And that is why they forget their dreams.”  – Paul Coelho, The Zahir.

More Tips About Living the Life You Want

  • What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People
  • How to Be Happy Again: 13 Simple Ways to Shake off Sadness Now
  • How to Have Happy Thoughts and Train Your Brain to Be Happy

Featured photo credit: J’Waye Covington via unsplash.com

How to replace a lost or broken remote control

If you lose your remote control or it stops working, you don't need to buy a replacement for your specific device. There are universal remotes that are compatible with multiple devices, and even mobile apps can be used as a remote until you buy a new one.

Replace your broken or lost remote control with a universal remote control

Big Box stores such as Target and Best Buy have a range of universal remote controls. Universal remote controls are not brand specific, so you can use them with any device model from almost all electronics manufacturers. Most universal remotes work with multiple devices so they can control your TV, cable box, and other peripherals like DVD players and streaming devices. Just be sure to read the package to make sure your devices are compatible.

Lifewire / Derek Abella

Depending on how many devices you use with your remote control, initial setup may take some time. Universal remotes sometimes come with a list of code numbers for a huge list of devices. You must find each device you want to use and then enter the corresponding code on the keyboard. New consoles handle this automatically.

Buy remote from the manufacturer

If you do not need a universal remote control, your device manufacturer must sell a replacement model. Go to the manufacturer's website or call the manufacturer to see how they can help you. If the manufacturer cannot directly sell to you over the phone or online, they will be able to direct you to the nearest retailer.

Considerations for buying a new remote control

Remote controls have gotten smaller but have more and more buttons. Be sure to buy a remote control that fits comfortably in your hand, with buttons big enough to press without pressing any other buttons. The backlit buttons are also a nice bonus when changing channels at night.

Durability is another problem with remote controls. When you're looking at different models in the store, it's hard to know which remote fits your performance and durability needs. This is where a good guarantee pays off. Equally important is the store's return policy if you decide to return the remote control.

Cable and satellite subscribers

If your remote was supplied by your cable or satellite company, you will need to call that company to get a replacement. If it is broken, the company should provide it to you free of charge. If it is lost, you may have to pay the replacement cost.

Download app for remote control

Depending on the device you need to use, there may be a mobile app that works as a remote control. Just open a web browser and search for your device name + remote control app . Some of the apps available for Android and iOS devices include:

  • The Comcast XFINITY TV Remote App for Apple or Android mobile device works with Comcast TV boxes.
  • The Android TV Remote Control app works with Android TVs.
  • The Easy Universal TV Remote app works with a variety of TVs.
  • The Apple TV app controls your Apple TV.
  • Smart TVs from LG, Sony, Samsung, Panasonic Viera and other manufacturers have apps that work with their TVs.

Airplane, suitcase... | TV Mag

20:42 27 July, 2016

Airplane, suitcase...

Travel Helpful Hints Interesting selections It is interesting News


You landed at the airport, reached the baggage carousel, deftly grabbed your suitcase from it and… found that it was broken! Or they didn’t find their luggage at all . .. Or they found, but favorite trousers, a Louis Vuitton bag or gifts for relatives disappeared from the suitcase. What to do? Do not rush to grieve. The airline that transported your luggage is obligated to pay you compensation.

As soon as you have received the luggage, inspect it; make sure it's not damaged

WHAT TO DO IF THE BAGGAGE IS DAMAGED

First of all, bring your suitcase either to the airline representatives, who are usually located at airports, or to the airport authorities - to the baggage tracing desk Lost & Found . Usually such a counter is located on the same floor as the baggage claim. If the flight is at night or early in the morning, most likely you will not find an airline representative, and you will only have to deal with an airport representative.

An employee on site will inspect the damage to your luggage and start compiling a damage report - the so-called Damage Report . This document will be sent to the airline responsible for your baggage. For this report, be prepared to provide the following data:

  • passport
  • boarding pass of the relevant flight on which you flew
  • approximate date of purchase of suitcase
  • suitcase brand
  • the amount for which the suitcase was bought.

If you notice any damage, take a picture of it immediately.

An airport representative will visually assess whether your suitcase needs to be repaired or if it is broken into rubbish. The whole procedure takes about 10-15 minutes, after which the employee will give you a copy of the report.

The next step is you have seven days (for international airlines) to go to the website of the airline that carried your luggage and send them a claim regarding damage to the suitcase. In this claim, you must briefly describe what happened and write the number of the damage report that was made at the airport. You can also attach a couple of picturesque photos to the application. If you have a receipt from the purchase of the suitcase, then you must also provide it. If it is not preserved, then it is advisable to go to the store and take a copy of the receipt.

Within about a week, an airline representative will contact you by e-mail and, if he has any questions, will ask you for additional documents, as well as your bank card number for transfer. And then he will decide how much to reimburse the cost of the damaged baggage. Compensation will be sent to the specified card number.

Traveler Svetlana Korikova:

“I had a similar problem with Brussels Airlines. They managed to somehow gouge my suitcase beyond repair. I was surprised that the airline asked me for a copy of the receipt - do they really think that people keep receipts after buying suitcases? .. I just sent them a link to an online store that sold exactly the same suitcase with a specified price. To which I was told that this was not a supporting document, but they had mercy and decided to reimburse only half of the cost of my suitcase instead of 100% . .. But I’m glad about that too.”

If you didn’t find your suitcase at all on the issuing belt, you need to go to a special counter and write a missing statement

Traveler Ilya Shafraev:

“And I cheated with the cost of luggage. Even at the airport, he wrote that my suitcase costs more than it actually cost - 70 euros, and I bought it for 30 euros. I felt that all the money would not be returned anyway. Then he took a copy of the check in the store from a friend. As a result, the foreign carrier decided to pay me 50 percent of the value of the luggage. But, thanks to my ingenuity, it turned out that I returned the entire cost of the damaged suitcase - a little more than 30 euros. True, they went to the map for about a month.

According to statistics, the luggage of people who fly by transfers most often disappears

WHAT TO DO IF YOUR BAGGAGE IS MISSING

If the baggage is lost, then you need to draw up a report of the loss immediately at the airport at a special counter. The act will need to describe all the things that were in the suitcase. Some airlines will try to give you 50-200 euros to buy essentials (toothbrush, razor, etc.), but these are rare companies that only show their courtesy, not obligation. Then you just have to wait. From a few hours to a month.

In 90 percent of cases, luggage is found and returned within 24 hours (it is brought home free of charge within the city of arrival and suburbs). But in about 10 percent - in about a month.

If your lost baggage is not found within 21 days, it is considered missing and you have the right to claim compensation. Compensation for baggage without a declared value will be approximately $20 per kilogram (depending on the airline).

Discuss immediately with the airport and the airline

WHAT TO DO IF VALUABLE ITEMS ARE LOST FROM THE BAGGAGE

Hairdryer, dress, perfume - anything is stolen from luggage packed with tape. The tape is brazenly torn and can even be repackaged after theft so that you won't notice anything .

Learn more