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18 Signs You're Falling in Love with Someone, According to Science

Wondering whether you're really, truly falling in love with someone? Chances are, you've probably already asked a close friend or family member for the telltale signs. And if they're like most people, they probably responded with "you just know," "it's hard to describe," or something equally vague—all of which, needless to say, are pretty unhelpful.

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But just as there is no hard-and-fast rule for how long it takes to fall in love, there's no set checklist for how to know if what you're feeling is the real deal. Some people know after a single moment; others develop the feelings after months or even years of small gestures.

That said, though, there are some common (and scientifically backed) signals that you're likely falling in love. ..and we're not talking about those all-encompassing "can't eat, can't sleep" feelings that let you know you're living a real-life version of your own rom-com. For instance, you feel the need to share even the smallest moments of your day with your person, and maybe you discover that their interests are suddenly becoming your interests, too. Or, perhaps you seamlessly start rearranging your schedule to make more time for your partner. And, of course, you might start wondering—perhaps even daydreaming—about the moment when your special someone will admit they love you, too.

Ahead, we ask therapists, researchers, and other relationship experts to share the classic indications that you are, indeed, falling in love. So now all you have to do is prepare to say those three big words.

You want to share your world with them.

Dawoon Kang, cofounder and co-CEO of online dating platform Coffee Meets Bagel, tells Oprah Daily, “Falling in love is different for everyone,” adding she believes in Robert J. Sternberg’s triangular theory of love, which identifies three main aspects: intimacy (the desire to feel closely connected), passion (physical and emotional stimulation), and decision/commitment (the resolve to stick together).

“You don’t need all three components to know that you’re falling in love, but they are strong indicators that you’re on the way,” she explains. “But don't conclude that someone isn't falling in love with you because they aren't showing the same exact signals as you do.”

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That said, the most telling sign, according to Kang, is if you find yourself wanting to divulge as much as you can to your love interest, from a small win at work to your relationship history.

“I knew I was falling in love with my now-husband Jack when I found myself calling him every night, wanting to share every little detail about my day and wanting to know about his,” she says.

They’re always in your thoughts.

Sure, it might be trite—but it’s true. You know you’re falling in love when your someone begins to take up major real estate in your thoughts. You might find yourself rehashing your conversations in the middle of work, thinking about your next date days in advance, or even envisioning your future together. For Kang, she remembers rereading her husband's text messages and viewing his photos over and over again when they first began dating because she thought about him so often.

And you’re dying to know if they love you, too.

If you find yourself considering whether this person feels similarly and you look for for signs that they're missing you, too, that's another signifier, Jacqueline Olds, MD, an associate professor of clinical psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, tells Oprah Daily.

“Your stomach and heart may take a leap every time they contact you or suggest spending time together,” adds Olds, who has completed extensive research on long-term marriage, alongside her husband of 41 years, Richard Schwartz, MD. (The couples therapists cowrote Marriage in Motion: The Natural Ebb and Flow of Lasting Relationships.)

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Along this same vein, if you’re falling in love, you tend to experience a warm feeling when you think about your significant other, according to Kang. That may mean you can't stop smiling, or you might notice that you generally feel more positive and hopeful.

You feel like a teenager again.

Falling in love has a way of making you feel like a wide-eyed, wild-hearted teenager again, and that's no coincidence, says Kelifern Pomeranz, PsyD, a California-based clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist. "When you fall in love, your body produces a cocktail of chemicals, including dopamine (for wanting more), noradrenaline (for excitement, focus, and attention), testosterone (for sexual interest and drive), and a drop in serotonin (which can cause that low-key obsessive feeling). These chemicals make us feel happy, giddy, energetic, euphoric, and youthful."

They become a priority.

“We make time for what–or who–we love,” says Rachel DeAlto, the chief dating expert for Match (formerly known as Match.com). “If you’re rearranging, reprioritizing, and reimagining your life, you may be falling in love,” she explains.

Equally important: It doesn't feel like a sacrifice when you have to make changes to your calendar (say, brunch with your girlfriends) in order to ensure you're available to attend something important to them (like a family party or dinner with a sibling who's visiting from out of town).

You crave them.

Yes, you read that right. Similar to how you can crave a favorite food or even a seasonal cocktail (hello, frosé), you can crave a person, too.

Match’s chief scientific advisor, Helen Fisher, PhD, has studied these feelings and found that an area of our brain associated with focus and craving called the ventral tegmental area (VTA) causes increased levels of dopamine to be released when you’re falling in love.

As DeAlto notes, this yearning is usually coupled with feeling a rush when you think of them.

You even find their quirks attractive.

Perpetual apologizer? Neat freak? All (innocuous) traits of your beloved are fair game and welcomed when you’re falling in love. “You start to find everything about them irresistible," explains DeAlto. "That even includes their little quirks, their odd sense of style, and their particular way of doing things, which all become endearing.”

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There is one thing, though, that's more important than how they act or what they do: You’re mindful of the emotional climate within the other person, including what troubles them, what brings them joy, or what triggers anxiety. “You care about their happiness, as much as your own,” says DeAlto. “Empathy and compassion for your partner rises as you fall in love. ”

They make you feel better about yourself.

People in the throes of falling in love often report feeling like they know more, or can do more, according to Theresa E. DiDonato, PhD, an associate professor of psychology at Loyola University Maryland. She describes how an experience of “self-expansion” often occurs as people fall in love, meaning their own sense of self grows through their relationship with this new person. For example, someone whose partner loves hiking might start to see themselves as a hiker too.

You’re ignoring other attractive people.

Gone are the days of swiping right on dating apps or DM'ing other potential partners. If you realize you’re not as inclined to investigate those other fish in the sea, that can be telling, DiDonato tells Oprah Daily.

“Falling in love may correspond with changes in attention–specifically people in loving, committed relationships show less attention to other viable partners,” she says.

You feel the love everywhere.

Finding yourself suddenly enjoying small chat with your less-than-pleasant coworker, or striking up conversations with your crabby neighbor? Your loved-up vibes could certainly be radiating beyond your partnership, notes Pomeranz. "Falling in love can knock us out of autopilot and allow us to see everything and everyone in a new light. Love can contribute to an increased sense of well-being and lead to a positive outlook, which can extend far beyond the person directly in front of us."

You’re kind of freaking out.
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Replaying interactions in your mind. Analyzing text messages. Mulling over what to wear. Haven’t we all been there? “Changes in stress or anxiety may correspond with the early stages of falling in love,” explains DiDonato. While exhilarating, the newness of a relationship, the uncertainty, and the intense experience of new romantic love can predict stress, as indicated by cortisol levels or self-reported anxiety, she says.

Their traits become your traits.

Whoever first coined the term “two become one” wasn’t kidding. As a romantic couple get to know each other, their own perceptions of self begin to merge, says DiDonato. “Because of this self-other overlap, individuals feel real pride for their partner’s achievements, see themselves more like their partner, and can mistake their partner’s characteristics for their own,” she says. On top of that, you may even start to dress or talk like your significant other.

You want to say those big three words.

You know it’s love and not just lust or a physical attraction because you’re curious and interested in what makes them tick, says Olds. “You want to hear their words and their thoughts, not only feel their body,” adds Schwartz.

But, as you expected, you find yourself wanting to take the courageous leap of saying “I love you,” according to Kang. (And, for the record, there are no rules surrounding the "right" time to tell someone that.)

Friends are noticing.

Are you always talking about your partner or asking if you can bring a plus-one along? Yeah, your friends see that. And they also might notice that you've been spending less time with them as you're devoting your attention to your romantic relationship. While your BFFs are likely to understand (hey, they probably did the same thing), don't forget to try to strike a balance, DiDonato urges.

You see a future with them in it.

You might notice that it doesn't feel weird to book your flights for that destination wedding six months from now or even to start talking about where you'll spend the holidays—because you know they'll be around to go with you.

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This is a strong sign and reveals commitment blossoming, according to Kang."You might also find yourself planning and taking more weekend getaways with them,” she says. Or perhaps what you envision goes even further...like thinking about your engagement or playing around with the idea of relocating to another city together.

In addition to envisioning a future with him or her, you might also start to talk about what that would actually look like—from what you'd need to feel happy in your marriage to whether or not you want kids to how you'd handle any religious or political differences.

And the most prominent sign you’re falling in love? It feels

right.

“I actually think for a majority of people it’s not a hard question and the answer is perfectly obvious to them,” says Schwartz. “And part of that is because one of the characteristics of being in love is this feeling of rightness and certainty and absence of doubt,” he adds. You might start to notice that you no longer worry whether you'll get ghosted or you don't even consider the possibility that they could be scared off by your collection of stuffed animals.

That's because, according to Schwartz, the parts of the brain responsible for social judgment and critical thinking go into a slower operation when we’re falling in love, and there isn’t the kind of scrutinizing, questioning, and assessing we may undergo in alternative circumstances. “Love is something we feel and, when we do, we say, ‘This is it.’”

Stephanie L. King

Stephanie L. King has had an obsession with words since she was seven and chronicled her life in a red and blue Bugs Bunny diary. She’s a poet who wrote for The Wall Street Journal and The Patriot News in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, before transitioning careers to become an English Language Arts teacher to talented urban middle schoolers. She’s also the brand new mom to a baby girl named Ella Grace and considers the sweetest fruit of her life her husband, Lionel. The reason for the slob on her pants? Her English bulldog, Ice. She lives in New Jersey, where she’s grateful for parking—but she will always be a New Yorker at heart.

This content is imported from OpenWeb. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

How Do You Know If You Love Someone? Platonic or Romantic

Ask anyone if love is complicated, and there’s a good chance they’ll probably say, “yes,” or “sometimes” at the very least.

Part of love’s complications stem from the fact that it can be challenging when the person you love doesn’t feel the same way — or when they do, but your relationship fails to take off.

Love can also complicate life because it takes different forms, and you might not immediately recognize which type of love you’re feeling.

Deciphering your feelings and trying to identify exactly which type of love you feel — while tight in its grip — might not be the easiest task, but we’re here to help.

Keep reading to learn more about how to tell these related, but still uniquely different, experiences apart.

Love doesn’t always look the same.

Sometimes, it progresses through specific stages.

The first flicker of love, when you fall head over heels for someone, often seems more like infatuation, complete with plenty of excitement and nervousness.

And if it’s mutual? The euphoric bliss many people experience can keep you and your partner completely wrapped up in each other. Over time, that just-fell-in-love feeling often transforms into something less charged, but more stable and lasting.

Higher-than-usual levels of hormones, like dopamine and norepinephrine, drive the intensity of these early feelings. Eventually, these surging feelings often settle into a deeper affection with the help of oxytocin, a hormone that plays a role in attachment.

But feelings of love don’t always follow a linear path.

What does being in love mean?

Maybe you fall for someone you just met, but you eventually realize the first blush of love has tinted your view. Once the first intensity fades, your feelings begin to wither without taking root.

You can also develop romantic love without experiencing euphoric, heart-pounding excitement. Someone who falls for their best friend, for example, might notice their long-standing platonic love become more romantic and sexually charged almost overnight.

And, of course, the love you feel for friends, or platonic love, can still run pretty deep — even though it doesn’t involve any romantic or sexual attraction.

People often talk about love as if everyone experiences it in the same way, but life experiences and relationship history can alter the course of “typical” romantic attraction.

If you’ve experienced relationship abuse or betrayal, you might feel cautious about letting your guard down again. This could temper the feelings of euphoria and impulsivity that often accompany the first stages of love.

In short, while there’s no single way to fall in love, you’ll probably notice a few key physical and emotional signs:

Your thoughts return to them regularly

Maybe you frequently think back to your last interaction or plan your next meeting. You want to tell them about your experiences every day: the great, the awful, and the ordinary.

If they’re having a hard time, you may worry about their difficulties and brainstorm ways to help.

When spending time with family and friends, you might talk about them a lot and imagine how much your loved ones will like them, too.

You feel safe with them

Trust is generally a key component of love. If you’ve experienced relationship trauma or heartbreak before, you might assign particular importance to this sense of emotional safety.

When you see them, you might notice your tension relaxes, in much the same way as it does when you return home after a long day.

It’s normal to want to protect yourself from pain. Feeling safe enough with someone to trust them with your personal weaknesses or vulnerabilities often suggests developing love.

Life feels more exciting

The rush of hormones associated with love can make everything seem more exciting, particularly when you know you’ll see them soon. Time might seem to fly by when you’re together and crawl like a turtle after they leave.

You might even notice renewed energy and interest in the mundane things you do every day. Folding laundry? Taking a walk? So much more fun when you’re in love (especially when they’re nearby).

You want to spend a lot of time together

Loving someone often means wanting to spend plenty of time with them, so you might find yourself craving their company more than ever before.

You might leave their company feeling somewhat unsatisfied, as if the time you spent together wasn’t enough.

You may not care much about what you do together, simply that you are together.

Another key sign? Your interest in spending time with them doesn’t depend on their mood or energy level. Even when they feel sad, cranky, or frustrated with life, you still want to show up and offer support.

You feel a little jealous of other people in their life

Jealousy is an emotion like any other. Generally speaking, it’s what you do with jealousy that matters. Talking about your feelings never hurts, but you might want to skip the digital snooping and social media stakeouts.

When you love someone, you might fixate on the other people they spend time with and wonder about their relationship with each other, or worry about potential threats to your love, such as an attractive co-worker they mention regularly or an old flame who’s still part of their life.

Generally speaking, these worries tend to fade as trust develops.

You feel compassion for them

When you’re in love with someone, you’ll start to develop strong compassion for them. The powerful urge to be connected to this person brings new aspects to your relationship, such as emotional or physical intimacy, passion, and a desire to know everything about them, and be known by them in return.

You may also find yourself wanting to take care of or be cared for by your partner.

Platonic love involves deep affection, but no romantic or sexual attraction. It’s absolutely possible for people of any gender to maintain a friendship without sexual tension or attraction.

When you love someone platonically, you might notice some basic signs of love.

You might also:

  • have similar interests, values, and goals
  • discuss emotions and relationships you have with others
  • support each other through difficulties
  • enjoy spending time together

Embracing platonic love successfully requires you to set any romantic feelings aside. Loving platonically doesn’t mean simply waiting and hoping the person will fall in love with you someday.

Good friendship behaviors can help you maintain platonic love. For example:

  • Communicate. Everyone has different communication needs, but you can maintain your closeness by calling or texting. When you do talk, try to spend at least as much time listening as you do sharing your own thoughts.
  • Set boundaries. Some platonic friends may be perfectly fine spending the night at your place, hanging out at all hours, or discussing the sexual details of your other relationships. Others may reserve these activities for romantic partners. Talking through boundaries can help you avoid any miscommunication.
  • Spend time together. Stay connected, even when you can’t physically see each other, by planning online chats, video game sessions, or virtual movie nights.
  • Offer emotional support. Love and friendship can make it easier to weather life’s challenges. Show your love by checking in with a friend or asking, “What can I do to help?”

Loving someone romantically usually involves a desire for a many-faceted connection.

You value their personality and want their friendship. You might lust after them a little (though you can experience romantic love without ever desiring a physical relationship).

Maybe you find their looks appealing, but you mostly want to spend a lot of time with them because you value them as a whole person and want to develop a lasting emotional connection.

Try these tips to cultivate and maintain romantic love:

  • Practice open communication. Relationships require open honesty to thrive. Sharing feelings, setting healthy boundaries, and discussing relationship goals early on increase your chances of a lasting relationship.
  • Avoid getting swept away by lust. In the early days of love, you might dedicate a lot of time to thinking (and talking) about what you’ve already done between the sheets (or anywhere else) and fantasizing about future encounters. This is absolutely normal. Just make sure you’re working toward an emotional connection, too.
  • Learn and grow together. If you want to make your love last, it’s essential to really get to know each other. This might mean discussing dreams and goals, sharing challenges and successes, and trying new things. You maintain your own identities, but you also develop a shared third unit: the relationship itself.

Romantic and platonic love are two different things, but many people consider them equally valuable.

Humans need connections to survive, generally speaking. Some people go through life without ever experiencing romantic or sexual attraction, and that’s OK. You can absolutely get the love you need from relationships with family and friends.

Others thrive with both friends and romantic partners in their lives. Perhaps you can’t imagine life without romance and pursue relationships in the hopes of finding the right partner or partners.

Your friends, however, remain part of your life even as partners come and go (often supporting you through breakups).

In short, platonic love might not fulfill the same needs as romantic love for everyone, but it’s equally valuable and equally worth pursuing.

Friendship isn’t a silver medal or a consolation prize. In fact, some types of platonic love may prove more stable and secure than romantic love.

If you’re experiencing confusing new feelings, you might have some uncertainty about how to handle them.

Falling for a friend, for example, can feel pretty terrifying. You think you could have a fantastic romance, but what if you end up losing the friendship instead?

Even when you love someone you know less well, you might wonder what your feelings mean. Do you truly want to develop a relationship? Simply get closer? Or are your feelings just lust-driven?

Asking yourself the following questions can yield some insight:

  • Which types of connections do I find most appealing? Emotional, physical, or a combination of both, for example.
  • Can I see myself sharing my life with this person?
  • Do I want to experience different types of intimacy with them? Or do I just want more of what we already have?
  • Is a general desire for physical intimacy complicating my platonic love for them?
  • Do I actually desire romantic love, or is it something I’m pursuing because people think I should?

A sudden change in attraction or existing feelings for someone can pull the rug out from under you.

Not sure about the best way forward? You have a few options:

Talk about it

You can’t pursue any type of relationship until they know how you feel. If you’re already friends, think back to how your friendship developed. You probably bonded over shared interests and one (or both) of you expressed the desire to spend more time together. Romantic relationships often develop similarly.

Preparing to share your feelings often involves some preparation for potential rejection. If you don’t feel comfortable telling them in person, try a letter, but avoid email or text.

Once you feel ready, ask if they can set aside some time to talk instead of suddenly dropping it into casual conversation. Choose a time when the two of you have some privacy.

Don’t forget to offer them space to sort through their own feelings, especially if you already have a platonic relationship. It may take time for them to evaluate and come to terms with their own feelings.

Consider other factors

Before you confess your love, take a careful look at the situation. You can’t help who you fall for, but you can help how you choose to handle your feelings:

  • Do they already have a partner? If so, you may want to hold off on sharing your love.
  • Are they a good friend’s ex? Proceed with caution — particularly if the breakup hurt your friend or the relationship ended badly.
  • Has your friendship given you insight into bad behaviors? Maybe they lie to partners, ghost dates, or see multiple partners without openly discussing non-monogamy. People can change, yes, and it’s tempting to believe your friendship and love will inspire that change. Just be sure to consider potential outcomes for your friendship if this doesn’t happen the way you envision.

Let it lie

Perhaps you decide you’d rather cherish your friendship than take a chance on anything more. That’s entirely your choice. Remember: platonic love offers many of the same benefits as romantic love, and one isn’t necessarily better than the other.

Just allow yourself the time and space to fully address your feelings and come to terms with them. Accepting them completely can make it easier to let them go. Try spending a little less time with that person for now, or avoid hanging out one-on-one.

If you feel lonely or in need of physical intimacy, dating others may offer a way to create new connections and ease feelings of longing.

What if your feelings are unrequited?

It’s natural to hope the person you love returns your feelings, but romance doesn’t always play out as planned. Recognizing love sometimes requires you to accept that it may not flourish as you wish.

“If you love someone, let them go,” really does emphasize one key component of love. True, compassionate love means wanting those you love to find happiness and contentment, even when those needs conflict with what you want for yourself.

Resist the temptation to press your case by showing them what a great partner you’d make, since this will likely only damage your existing relationship.

Instead, show respect by honoring their feelings and giving them any space they ask for. Make it clear you intend to go forward by maintaining your platonic friendship. This can help ease any awkwardness that might come up.

Attraction and affection can change and grow over time, and people feel and show love in many ways.

Any type of emotional commitment can fulfill the human need for connection, provided you make the effort to sustain it.

Crystal Raypole has previously worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy. Her fields of interest include Asian languages and literature, Japanese translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex positivity, and mental health. In particular, she’s committed to helping decrease stigma around mental health issues.

When you stand in my way... - Block. Full text of the poem - When you stand in my way ...

Literature

Catalog of poems

Alexander Blok - poems

Alexander Blok

When you stand in my way ...

When you stand in my way Such a living, 9001 so beautiful,
But so tormented,
Talk about sad things,
Think about death,
Love no one
And despise your beauty -
What then? Do I offend you?
Oh no! After all, I'm not a rapist,
I'm not a deceiver and I'm not proud,
Although I know a lot,
I think too much since childhood
And I'm too busy with myself.
After all, I am a writer,
A man who calls everything by name,
Taking away the fragrance from a living flower.
No matter how much you talk about sad things,
No matter how much you think about endings and beginnings,
Still, I dare to think,
That you are only fifteen years old.
And that's why I would like,
, that you fall in love with a simple person,
Who loves earth and sky
More than rhymed and unrhymed
Speeches about earth and sky.
Really, I will be happy for you,
Since only a lover
Has the right to the title of a person. February 6, 1908

1908

About love – Long

Other poems by this author

Oh, I want to live crazy...

Oh, I want to live crazy:

To perpetuate all that exists,

About life

On the Kulikovo field

The river spread out. It flows, lazily sad

And washes the shore.

About the war

When you are driven and downtrodden. ..

People, care or longing;

About love

Do you remember? In our sleepy bay...

Do you remember? In our sleepy bay

Green water was falling,

About life

When we met with you ...

When we met with you,

I was sick, with a rusty soul.

About life

I was slowly going crazy…

I was slowly going crazy

At the door of the one I long for.

On Love

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Getting updates when you're not on a computer with an active clock on Windows

Windows 11 Windows 10 More...Less

The Active Time feature tells Windows when you are usually at your computer. We will use this information to schedule updates and restarts when you are not using your computer.

The following are two ways to set Windows 11 activity hours.

Automatic Windows activity based on device activity

  1. Click button > Settings > Windows Update client component > Advanced settings > Active hours .

  2. Next to "Set activity hours " select "Automatic" .

Select your own hours of activity

  1. Click button > Settings > Windows Update client component > Advanced settings > Active hours .

  2. Next to "Set up hours of activity " select "Manual" .

  3. Select the start and end time of the active period.

Changing hours of activity

The Active Time feature tells Windows when you are usually at your computer. We will use this information to schedule updates and restarts when you are not using your computer.

Here are two ways to set Windows 10 active hours.

Adjust Windows active hours based on device activity (for Windows 10 May 2019 Update version 1903 or later).

  1. Click Button > Settings > Update & Security > Windows Update 9 Client Component0202 and then select "Change active hours" .

  2. Enable automatic setting of activity hours for this device based on activity .

Select your own hours of activity

  1. Learn more